Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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{{{DEB}}}
ROTFLMAO
OMG, I too have been wanting a update
did good Hon, maybe you wont have to "UPDATE" for a while.....
Love You,
Puppy
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gsg , I can soooo relate. I too am feeling so depressed about my weight and lack of self control over eating. My treadmill is my new place to hang bras to dry! Every morning I get up and say , this is the day I will start exercising , but as soon as I get home from work , forget it. I am so tired. Then the weekend comes and I am just a couch potato , I've been doing the bare minimum of cleaning. My mind tells me I want to spring clean , paint my kitchen , clean up the yard. But I just don't have it in me to do it!!! I really don't know what to do. Would making a list help? If anyone has any suggestion , please feel free. Gsg , hang in there , you are not alone.
Hanna , Me too. I am another deranged one. I hide at home. And I do put extra into my "getting ready" to see my onc. I think I want to look as far from "cancer victim" as I can when I see him.
Calypso , rancid sushi lololol
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Oh Deb C , lolololol veil hell , the way I feel , I need a burka!
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OMG DebC!! That EXACTLY what your Flaming Hat needs - a Veil !!
Thanks for the zit poppin' update. Whew. And look how many others were hanging out here alert for the zit news! We thank you!
You know, speaking of a veil, it's interesting you should bring that up because another new behavior I've been doing is when I leave the house, I've GOT to have my sunglasses on. Now why is this!?! I mean everywhere I go I've got to be packing sunglasses or I feel....like I'm out in only my underwear. Seriously. This must be a disorder - anyone else with this going on I would appreciate hearing about it because what with all this not wanting to go anywhere and when I do, having to be wearing sunglasses....hmm hmmm....I'd really like not to be the only one with this peculiarity going on.
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Chemo and Constipation
Although I was advised to take a laxative before getting my first chemo, I quickly disregarded the suggestion. After all, my bowels are always somewhat loose and I have never had a problem with constipation. Also, I was under the very naïve impression that being constipated just meant that you couldn't have a bowel movement for a couple of days. I never understood the meaning of constipation until I underwent chemotherapy.
Chemo takes all the moisture out of your digestive system. You've probably never given it much thought, but moisture plays an important part in moving things along. Chemo also turns your stool into giant boulders made of granite. This is all happening while you're vomiting and aching and trying to sleep it off, so you don't really notice at first. After two or three days, a stray thought crosses your mind that you have not moved your bowels. A few minutes after those thoughts flicker through, you start having stomach pains.
So you go and sit on the pot and wait. You become overwhelmed with the urge to push and it starts to take over your body like a woman in labor. You're having spasms and you're pushing. It hurts like the devil and you know you're hurting yourself, but you can't stop pushing because your body is not waiting to get your permission. You start to pant. Pant, pant, pant. Push, push, push. Oh wait! You feel movement! Something is moving!! Finally! You keep pushing and pushing, pain sears through your body. Blood is dripping from you. Finally the spasms stop and you're able to stop pushing.
Everything is right there at the opening, but it refuses to come out. Awkwardly, you stand and look into the toilet, hoping against hope to see your prize floating there. There sits a tiny piece of stool about one inch long. "How did I feel all that movement going on and this is all I produced?" you ask yourself in wonderment. You scowl as you glare at the tiny piece of doodoo floating in your lost blood.
You clean yourself up and try to walk right as you realize you've done permanent damage to your anus. You hobble back out to the couch, remember the advice to take a laxative before chemo. Now you know it wasn't a joke and that information was indeed meant for you.
This becomes a routine you go through several times a day. You pull out the old Lamaze tapes to refresh yourself on breathing techniques. Pretty soon you realize you have anal fissures ( unnatural cracks or tears in the anus skin). So now you start to cry a little when you know you have to go to the bathroom. You sit down and start your breathing techniques and hope and pray something comes out. Of course, it hurts so badly when it comes out that you're dreading it all tremendously, even as you pray for it.
If you're lucky, you'll experience a searing pain that hurts so much you have to bite a bath towel to keep from screaming. You anus feels likes it's opening up for the Rock of Gibraltar to pass through. Even through the pain, you feel triumphant. The sheer joy is indescribable. "I got some out! I moved a stool! I did it. Life is good. So good." You stand to examine what you've accomplished. By now, you never leave the bathroom without a thorough inspection. You admire the size. Yes, you are the woman!!! You note all the blood and know you should tell your doctor. However, you know if you tell her, someone is going to have to examine your anus.
You decide to ask someone else who went to the doctor to save yourself the unwanted embarrassment. This is when you find out about anal abscesses. You realize with a sick feeling that if you have an abscess, there will be no avoiding medical attention. "Please don't let me have an anal abscess," you pray fervently to God. You soak your bum in warm baths, take laxatives four times a day and drink Metamucil as your nightcap every night. By the time you're getting your third chemo, you have a pretty good system down for what is referred to as the big C in breast cancer circles (not to be confused with the OTHER big C).
Every now and then the constipation turns into diarrhea. Oh yes. Horrible, debilitating diarrhea that keeps you from leaving your home. After all, do you really want to venture out into the world of real humans when you have explosive diarrhea? You have a bottle of Immodium, but dare you take one? Thoughts of the Rock of Gibraltar pass through your mind and you decide not to chance it. However, after two days of running to the bathroom continuously and having your little anus so sore you cannot stand it; you decide to take just one. When that doesn't work, you become brave enough to take two. However, you have total respect for the Immodium and you know better than to just take it without complete consideration of the consequences.
However, never fear ladies. By the time you're getting your last chemo, you'll have mastery over the bowels and you'll be an expert on the digestive tract.
Happy pooping,
Miss S
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Miss S...that is hilarious and so true!
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OMG Miss S just the laugh I needed. Not funny but oh so funny!!
Hair comment count - #112 oh you got a haircut?? (Are you kidding me, do you really think I would cut my hair to an unflattering 1" on purpose? #113 from my mother no less - your hair is so curly I just can't get over how curly it is. (Ya I just can't get over the fact that a year ago I had lovely hair, and lovely boobs. Now freak hair, freak boobs and no sex drive.)
That's it not much to bitch about today. Oh, Deb so glad to get your zit update. I too have been thinking and wondering.
gsg and honeygirl, I have gained so much weight I am disgusted with myself. Does that stop me from eating an entire bag of sweet chilli heat doritos?? Hell no. Ya, tomorrow I start.
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Miss S - LOL! Pooping the prize Rock of Gibralter! Oh...that was good!
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Miss S- That was the best!!!!! I have not had to do chemo and I am thankful everyday. But god forebid I ever do or others I know I will always remember your post and listen about those laxatives! LOL!!!!
Thanks for sharing,
Daniella
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was FREAKING HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was tooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I loved it, you can call it "As The Turd Turns" LOL
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I laughed so hard today reading these posts. I swear this thread is good medicine.
I have to share a poop story....
When I did chemo the first time my poor mother was so distressed by my cancer and my treatment that she hovered for the first 3 months. She was scared and handled it by mothering me....which was awesome, almost all the time.....except when she became obsessed with my bowel problems on AC. She would call me in the morning to check and see if I had a bowel movement! Not only that, but she would walk into the physical therapy office where my sister works and start telling all of THEM if I had pooped or not, or if I had the runs....We laughed SO hard about it. The daily deb poop update was a joke for WEEKS. It was hard to be upset with her because she was so stressed out and felt helpless, but damn, when you are in you 40's and your mom is discussing you bathroom adventures with the whole town....something has to give!
It's a good thing we all laugh about this stuff....
Hanna - I have been wearing sunglasses too. I think it allows me to get through the grocery store without making eye contact with everyone. That way I don't have to get in nearly as many conversations....
Deb C
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LMAO!!!!!!!! OMG....that was hysterical! Thank you, Miss MS!
Don't bother making out a to do list, Honeygirl. You can have the one I made out yesterday morning. It's still like new.
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LOL@Deb's mom, too!
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Hi Guys,
Funny I just thought to myself today that NOBODY could possibly understand how I feel right now. My husband saw me staring into space today and asked me "What's wrong?"
Is there really an answer to that? After recently being diagnosed with my SECOND breast cancer (my first at age 29) and going through surgical hell for the past three months, I dont know how to answer that.
I always hated my old reconstruction and struggled with my self image only to be bludgeoned again in January with the news that I had DCIS in the other breast with micromets to the sentinal node. We know what that means dont we? Adria and Taxol. Now I have a double mastectomy, am in the process of losing my hair and have to worry about developing Leukemia and some later stage as a result of having Chemotherapy twice. I had complications with the recent reconstruction and ax node dissection that have left me with nerve pain under my newly operated arm. And WHAT is SEX anyway?
I have two kids ages 9 and 11 and I just can't get past the thought that I may not be there for them when they need me.
As far as being strong, I think I am otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here after what has seemed liked a very concerted effort on somebody's part to end my life.
Outsiders say; "you look so well", and "i dont know how you do it"
What is it that they really expect and what can you say when someone asks you "What's wrong?"
Thanks for listening.
LA
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Oh Miss S! I lmao!!!!!!!!! That was sooo funny. But soooo true.
Deb C. , Moms , got to love them! To funny.
LA, That sucks!!!! Sorry you are going through this once again. Feel free to come here and talk , moan , bitch or just share.Good luck to you. Mel0 -
MS......LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the most hilarious pooh biography ever.....thanks for the laugh.
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I'm calling for daily poop and zit updates from Deb.
kiki, I know what you mean about the haircut comments! lol The last haircut I had was March 2007 when my son shaved my head. Still I get people asking who cut my hair. Why? So they will know what salon to avoid? lol
LA, I'm glad you found us. We do understand and we actually care. It totally sucks that you've got a freakin' second dx and two small children depending on you. I'm sure your husband is very concerned and scared, too. He just doesn't know what to say..... Please come here to vent or just talk anytime. We're open 24/7 and we offer free love and compassion and sometimes a laugh or two.
Love you ladies,
Miss S
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Hey,
Ms. S its 12:23am and I can't sleep again...came here to feel somewhere I belong. AAnd I can't remember laughting this much. I love the poop up dates. Great story...
LA the only thing that got me through was my son, I just kept thinking he needs me. He's going to be 16 and still hugs me even in front of his friends. I love him even more for that. Don't know whaat to say about 2dx. I come here at least once a day now, don't always post . But I feel safe here. Let us know how yoou are doing.
terry
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OH, Miss S - your story brought back so many memories of my poor, sore bahoochey! I, too learned my lesson the hard (ahem) way..... Well, as much as all that SUCKS, now listen to my crap.....
IT SUCKS that I had just finished chemo and rads, then got my newest diagnosis that my cancer had spread just 3 months later. So, that means it was growing THROUGH Adriamycin/Cytoxin, Taxotere, and rads??? WTF??
IT SUCKS that I am also hiding in my house so the cancer won't get me. OOPS, it found me!
IT SUCKS that I am bored out of my mind, but feel too sick to do anything.
IT SUCKS that I can't sleep because of the constant cancer dialogue in my brain. Where is the OFF switch?
OK, NOW IT SUCKS, because the turntable in my microwave is possessed. While cooking my plain baked potato, the spinner keeps changing directions. I swear it is not my chemo brain!!!
Thanks ladies, I have found a home thread!!!
Marsha
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OMG, these are SO funny and TRUE.
FYI, for dry stools, try glycerine suppositories about 15 min. before you go potty. they, ah, "grease the skids", so to say.
I've often thought a veil would be a great way to hide out, too. And I totally agree that sunglasses help with no eye contact! If I cannot see you, you cannot see me!
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Hey ,
these so called fathers that hurt their children need their penis cut off and deep fried then sewed back on with and 18 g. needle.. And only then will the fully understand the pain and emotional hurt that they have caused. Dam that makes me mad .
Sorry lost my temper for a minute. But let me at them......................
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Carlin: Hahah at the 18 guage needle!
During chemo I ate dried apricots and fig newtons. Satisfied my sugar craving and helped with constipation.
A big that sucks for everyone that needs it today.
Nicki
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Nicki,
Are yoou thinking of something larger??????????????????
needle that is..................
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Hi Ladies,
Been working in the garden all weekend and I am so sore. I have not had the time to read all the posts, will get to that tonight. I think this is the most active thread. Gone two days and 5 pages of posts! A big "that sucks" to all who bitched.
I cannot take the body pain anymore. Tried to go 1 day w/o Lortab. I laid in bed last night and cried, I hurt so bad. Rubbed Aspercreme all over my body and finally fell asleep somewhere around 1:30 am. Now I am off to work and I said "F*ck It" and took a lortab. I am tired of the pain. I can barely get down on my knees and then back up again without help. I am only 49 and I have the body of a 75 year old.
Well, gotta go. Will get caught up on everybody tonight. Hope you have a unsuckable day!
Debbie
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Thanks for your response ladies. It definitely helps to know that you girls are out there. Today feels a litttle better. I guess that's how it goes.
LA
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I don't have a cancer problem today, I have a dog rant. Penelope B. Hound is the love of my life except for the months of April, May, and June. She is shedding. It takes almost 3 months for her to stop shedding. She can scratch her neck with her back foot and put her foot down and there is a clump of hair on the carpet! I have resorted to brushing her outside because of the 'fur flying' in the house. I vacuum daily while she is shedding. I have one of the bagless vacuum cleaner and in my small living room I have to empty the dust cup at least 2 times because of all the hair she shedds. I brushed her yesterday and filled a small trash can with the fur, and it still comes off. After I brushed her she wanted her side rubbed and I had another handful of hair. I need to take her to the dog washer to get rid of a lot of hair but that only lasts about a week. I never knew that a basset could have that much hair. We had a beagle when I was growing up and I don't remember him shedding at all. I'm off my dog shedding rant now.
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I haven't been on this thread for awhile, but... I read part of the constipation post, ms. shapen, and I think you are too funny!
BTW, I had the exact OPPOSITE reaction to my 1st chemo... I just kept pooping, and thought I would not stop!! so, no stool softener for me!! lol
My bitch for today is that tomorrow, I will be UGH... preparing, for my colonoscopy, which is scheduled for WEDNESDAY!!
So, I probably won't be around much for the next couple of days. Tomorrow I'll just be sittin' & s*ittin'!
Take care, all!
Harley
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harley, you go girl.
(sorry..i don't even like that expression, but i couldn't resist.)
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lvtwoqlt.
Get the hoover on your dog each day, it will pull out quite a few hairs, and Penelope will love it.
My sister had Bassetts, they drove me mad, just such stubborn dogs, unless it was the way she spoilt them rotten, they were just like big spoilt brats, and never to be trusted with my kids when they were small, but I never heard her complain about shedding.
Isabella.
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