Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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pk, I know what you mean about the smell of the healing skin.
When I got rads, my skin broke down so badly my rad onc stopped my tx early. I looked like a boiled lobster. It was truly terrible!
Anyway, I would mostly only notice the stench when I went to the bathroom as I would lean forward to wipe. For over a week, I thought the odor was coming from 'down there'. I kept washing and scrubbing and wondering what the heck was going on. How could I smell so bad?
I finally realized the odor was decaying flesh from my chest. What I was smelling was basically the same as a corpse. How gross is that? I had gone back to work and everyone was hugging me all the time and I was very worried and embarrassed. Blech!
Pinky, my thoughts are with you as you go through your surgery.
Sheila, I dream about looking for bathrooms all the time. Fortunately, I'm never able to dream up a suitable one.
Love to all,
Miss S
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Dream........You have a grandchild???????????????????????????????
(((((((((((((((((((((Indi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) what? lol! I've missed you soooooooooo much girl!!!!!!!!!!
Barbe....lol....I hate cliche's too. The worst of the worst....IMHO is......"Everything happens for a reason"..... I HATE that expression!!!!!
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Yes I have a 3 and a half year old grandson. He is a blonde cutie. He is life at 190 mph 2 ft off the floor.
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HI everyone...I tried my best to remember as I was going (it's late and the lights are out while I play on the pc...) of course we all KNOW how that turns out...
So...Kathi, I'm sorry about Chloe...she was a lucky kittie to have a home with you.
Diane - good to see you ...I've been thinking of you and hoping all was well. How is the mortage situation? I hope someone has come through with a solution...I can't even imagine. I was in tears today at the thought of never having enough money and I don't even pay the mortage!
Hi Traci - glad to see you around...don't kick yourself in the butt...you didn't know and we all get lost in the list of things to do. What we want to do and what we have to do often don't match...I can't imagine anyone who knows you, not knowing you care...
LuAnn - your DIL sounds like she needs a blanket party...and not the kind she sounds like she'd like either...the kind they give you in the military when you disrespect your mates!
Renee - CONGRATULATIONS...I'm so happy for you...
I was gone for a few days for some tests...they are getting closer to figuring out what the deal is with the inflamation that I've had going on...the chemo seems to have triggered an auto-iimune response in my sytem so they are trying to ID WHAT so they now how to correct. Even without the difinitive answer I feel so much better know this is not all in my head...hopefully the biopsies I had yesterday will give us the answer as to what it is.
Two things I learned while I was gone from the boards...
First, NEVER agree to an upper and a lower GI at the same time. I had to drink a GALLON of thicky, salty tasking liquid in 15 minute increments...by far the grossest thing I've encountered yet on this road! Next time, one at a time and thank you, I will take magnesium citrate instead...
Second...never put on the ColorStay lip gloss without looking in the mirror while doing it. If you color outside the lines you WILL pay hell trying to fix it before you have to get out of your car. Trust me, you will still look a bit clownish no matter how hard you try. I just spent the day acting drunk so no one questioned my smeared lip gloss.
Good night ladies...it's a busy week here so I may not get to check in again until the weekend. No bad news while I am gone!
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ok, so reading back on my post it sounds like I still AM drunk...sorry for the typo's...I'm trying hard not to let the keys click lest I wake everyone up...honest, nothing but tea for me tonight ladies
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Love that about the upper/lower GI test! Good recommendation. I had a colonoscopy and a laryngyscope (sp?) to my stomach at the same appointment and made sure they were going to use different scopes! They didn't find it funny at all that I asked...hmmmmm.
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WhaSux?
This cracked me up--it is my hope we have nothing as in "suckage" for the next 72 miles!!!!!!
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My husband has this new thing where he keeps telling me that its not ALL about me, and it isnt ALWAYS about CANCER. The way he says this makes me feel small and selfish. I know I am not a selfish person.
Last night the toilet overflowed right after me being constipated for almost a week. Oops wrong time to load up the porceline pony. Long and short of it, is that two speakers were out in the hallway. He spent the entire time moping the floor in front of the speakers. I meantime had to mop the floor with towels. He went away and got boots on. He pulled his t-shirt up and over his nose. I was hurt and embarassed. And I was watching the man who thought he could care for me throughout this illness show that he did not have the tools to do the job.
He said last night and this morning that he was not yelling at me. He was upset about the situation. If he wasnt allowed to vent then one day he would explode. He says I am taking it all personally because of the cancer.
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Dream, you are warm and loving and generous and wonderful, and don't you forget it!
Those low flow toilets that are designed to clog are awful!
You each had a bad day....it really sux that is was the same day.
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(((dream)))
navygirl - spending the day acting drunk to compensate for your smeared lipgloss made me SNORT. thank you. I needed it.
Just in a pissy mood myself. Things going on with my sister, her husb. and their son. Not good all around. I really, really, really hate mean, insulting people. No, I'm not supposed to hate, but sometimes you know that they're not worthy of anything more or better.
I wish they'd keep the studies about cancer and wine shut away somewhere. I refuse to feel guilty for drinking a few (like 2-4) glasses of wine a week. Sometimes its the difference between being ok and being totally off the rails. Is that an IOS?
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Ya, I read that alcohol=cancer stuff today too. Well, my horse is already out of the barn. Cheers.
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Hey ladies, it's not much but my SOI is that I saw my ps for my yearly follow up after exchange surgery, and he said see ya in 2 years. That's one less doc for me to worry about right now!!!!
Gentle Hugs and that Sux to all!
Trish
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Wait, wait, I thought wine was an antioxidant. I dont drink but I thought that if I did it would be a wine because of it. Am I wrong. Maybe this study compared those that drank wine and those that drank martinis. I have a taste of Baileys once a year..... and Im not giving it up.
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I'm done giving up things because they might cause cancer - other than soy and green tea. I maintained a healthy diet before and I still got cancer. If I want a piece of chocolate, I'm going to have a piece of chocolate. If I want steak, I'll eat steak. I'm not talking about eating in excess - everything in moderation, but life is just too darn short to deprive myself.
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Argh, so true- can make ourselves crazy with what to do and not do, what to eat and not eat....makes me crazy and feel like this is something I did to myself.
I hate February, too much icky, stinky things happening.
So sorry for all the crap that's happening. So happy for Trish's good news.
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Hi everyone: Today I feel like biting nails, for no one particular reason. Many small things that just have gotten past my threshold and if the phone rings one more time I am gonna scream. Everyone was telling me what to do today or what not to do and what is best for me, like they know how I feel and what I want to do. I am using my " I Have IOS " bottle cover (coca cola), and am taking a firm stand against any more "helpful advise". Just typing this out makes me feel better. Thanks for "listening".
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Dream - I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you!! Oops, you're not laughing? The vision of your husband p*ssing and moaning with his t-shirt wound around his nose, made me chortle. They can be such cruel and thoughtless twits.
Navygirl - I'll have to remember the drunk act!! Although, now that I think of it, I may act that way without knowing it!!
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Cancer sucks!
Tomorrow I go for my exchange. I have been very emotional all day. I really hate surgery. I did all I could all day to keep it off my mind when at 3:30 my primiary care office calls and informs me that I need to get there right away for an ekg. The first thing I thought was that they had found something wrong and my heart was going to fail. I did think about the fact that I needed a new one for the surgery tomorrow nor did the nurse bother to tell me that.
So, I jumped up put on my clothes and wig and drive up the the doctors office. I have my ekg and everything is fine. During the ekg the nurse asked what kind of surgery I was having and I told her I was having my expanders exchange for implants. She looked at me laying their in a bra and asked "I know you aren't getting them bigger are you." I wanted to scream at the bitch but, instead explained that I had had a bi-lateral in September and these are muscle expanders not my breast. The doctor comes in and tells me they didn't know until today that I needed to have one because of my age. To say the lease, I was totally pissed when I left the office. I did take time to get copies of all the test to make sure everything runs smooth in the morning.
So I get home, still shaken from the whole event for SO to say that I am working myself up to much. I want to punch him in the damm face.
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Oh, Pinky......I'm always so amazed when healthcare folks act like complete dolts. I shouldn't be by now, but I think I feel personally ashamed of them because I work in healthcare myself.
Listen, good luck tomorrow & let us know how you are as soon as you feel up to it. (((((((Pinky)))))))
Hugs to everyone else, too. I'm so pooped, I'll have to catch up with everyone else next time.
Oh, and lest I forget, a large THAT SUX! to all who need it.
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Yeah, whats with healthcare professionals in the cancer center and their lack of knowledge of cancer stuff? Too tired and worn out, full story tomorrow.
Hugs and prayers for all in need.
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Hi All,
Saw the rad onc nurse today to check and see if the underside of my breast was infected (bad smell) Apparently I have a very very sensative nose as they couldn't smell anything! Said the area was very angry looking but very clean, continue on and I should have reached the peak of yuckiness and should be getting better in the next couple of days. Thanks to those who convinced me to go get checked, it has eased my mind.
Question on the green tea-thought that was someithing that was okay?
Sharon-On the alcohol topic-not that I drink a lot but not giving that up, is it not good for our hearts? Well I am going with that anyway.
Pinky-good luck with your surgery
Nancy-don't want to add to your everyone telling me what to do so just going to say "Hey there"
Kathi-how is the head doing? Maybe that is why you are still struggling with fatigue lately, take care.
Thanks to all again for helping me with my issue. Take care and wishing all a "suckiness " free evening.
Penny
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The green tea is while you are in treatment. Because it is an antioxident, it somehow protects those cancer cells we are trying to kill, so I was told not to drink it while I was having chemo or radiation.
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Hi all,
I've not looked at Twink's thread yet, so I am o.k. Very, very sad about her passing though....
Saint, that pic cracked me up too. So funny. I bet that's in West Texas!
Dream, I think PatMom said it best....I hope you were just both having a bad day on the same day. No doubt about it, that situation sucks/stinks......regardless. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Sharon, my horse is out of the barn too. LOL!!
Pam, I HATE my sisters husband too! He is the only person I hate. I can forgive almost anyone, of almost anything, but I can't forgive the man who makes my sister miserable. The end.
Jane, I'm glad you made clarification about the green tea.
Trish, so happy for you girl. So, you are obviously happy with your re-construction. Lucky you.
Pinky, I'm sorry you hate surgery. My exchange surgery wasn't bad at all. I hate the outcome, but the recovery wasn't bad. (((((((xanax)))))))
Penny, I am so glad you feel better girl. So glad.
Navy, you shouldn't start drinkin' 'til after 2:00. lol.
Hugs everybody!!!!
Traci
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Thanks Tracy....
My daughter agrees your atavar is very similar to our cat - Bandit has a heart-shaped nose.... otherwise they are twins.
I am all cried out... so off to bed I go.
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HUGS ALL for any suckage AND the good stuff too!
Ditto on Traci's post--she hit it all so I don't have to tax my chemobrain!
As for what we "shouldn't eat"......blah blah blah! If you read enough we would be eating NOTHING, drinking NOTHING & breathing NOTHING! Each of us has to do what we feel benefits us best---I think the BELIEF in something is more than half the reason for it's success.....
Meanwhile keep my motto on your lips: Remember all the women in Titanic who skipped dessert! CHEERS
Be well & stay strong
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Moan, groan -- I took out the vacuum, dusted IT off, and decided to do the carpet today. What a Klutz I am. It is an upright and I thought I had it "clicked" to stand upright, but boom, down it went on my arm as I reached to unplug the cord --- resulting in a quarter size bruise. A clean house/apartment is highly over rated, and that is MY story !!!
Kind of funny - when I had a CB, my handle was Super Klutz... guess I have not outgrown that nickname yet.
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Nancy....LOL!!!!!! (Not at you, beside you!)
Where is Sue????
PS Edited to add....Pinky, we are thinking about you!!!!!!!!!! Please check in soon!!!!!!!!
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UGH...I've read to catch up but now I'm on a new page and can't remember who had what IOS! THAT SUCKS to all who need it. Dealing with surgeries, radiation burns, idiot medical personnel, lost sisters, ridiculous studies, pets illnesses and death...........just some behemoth crap sandwiches being served up for us lately, huh?
My IOS today isn't huge, but it has me off balance. Last week when I got into the car to drive to my chemo appointment, I got a few miles from home and realized the neuropathy in my feet is so bad that I can't feel the gas and brake pedals. It scared the shidoobie out of me to think that I might wreck because I couldn't feel the brake pedal, so I turned around and went home. I re-started my b-6 supplements that I'd been slacking off on (anybody else just feel like taking one more pill is just too much to handle sometimes?)
Fast forward to this week: I told the onc about my feet and he said that we really need to switch treatments because of the neuropathy. We've been talking about it a couple of months so it's not a complete surprise, but I really wanted to squeak whatever I can out of the treatment I am on because it has been moderately tolerable and at least keeping me stable. So, I was switched to TAXOTERE today. The benedryl pre-meds hit me so hard my dh had to help me walk to the bathroom and the car when it was all over. Now, here I am lying in bed with my feet feeling the worst they ever have!! Good grief; I sure hope it's some weird thing that happens when the nerves suddenly decide to wake up. I'm also sweating like a whore in church. SOI, though: they brought me lunch while I was getting the TAXOTERE infusion and I was halfway through the pasta before I suddenly realized.........I COULD TASTE THE FOOD!! How weird is that? Of course, I'm not gonna gripe about it. It had gotten so bad that I told my boys they need to get some cardboard boxes and markers out and DRAW my dinner because it all tasted the same. Of course, the one who likes shortcuts suggested we buy frozen pizzas that they could eat and they'd cut out the pizza pictures on the box for me....LOL! That sort of creativity is surely going to pay off for him in the future.....we hope!
I love you guys and hope to see a bunch of SOIs here tomorrow!
((((HUGS)))
DianePS My mom is out of the country on vacation this week. For the last 5 years, every time she's been out of the country I've had some kind of crisis. She was in Mexico when I was dx'ed. For those of you that pray, I'd sure appreciate it if you'd add prayers that mom gets GOOD news from me after this trip!
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Prayers go up for only GOOD things to tell (((( diane ))))))).
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