Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
Comments
-
How much time alone, is too much time alone?
0 -
I am stomping my feet and blowing off steam because today's mammo was abnormal on the other side from the lumpectomy. Some tiny dots that "could" be calcifications; biopsy is scheduled for May 15, then the wait for pathology. Dang it anyway.
0 -
well that sux Nancy.
Sending prayers your way for b9 results
Trish
0 -
Thanks Trish. I will make it thru this and chalk it up to part of what will be, will be.
0 -
Oh Nancy- crap. So sorry to hear, sending prayers that is all benign.
hugs....Elaine
0 -
WTF Nancy...maybe our onc is a bad luck charm? Maybe we should dump her!!! I'm sorry, I know it sux. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...dum,dum,dum, dum.
Harley...DOOF! I've been on your team for 3 days!!
LOL, you crack me up. I'll be playing again tonight too! I got us 2 getaway vehicles now...and knocked off one Mafia Boss. Then my health ran out dang it!Small whine...not really an IOS in the grand scheme of things...I'm just so friggin tired lately. And quite frankly, I'm tired of being tired. Blech. Let's picture the silver lining...I lost weight, other than this I have a great life, my job is cake, my puppy wakes me each morning with kisses, and I have Mafia Wars!
see..I feel better already...happy HUMP day people...go do some humping!
0 -
Nancy, so sorry that really sucks
0 -
Hey everyone. I am new to this site and could use some advice or at least see if there is someone else out there that understands how I feel. I was diagnosed with breast cancer Jan 07 and have finished all treatments, radiation and now a year of Herceptin. Anyway, 3 weeks after my diagnosis my father passed away. I was very close to him and adored him in every way possible. Anyway my focus at that time was survival and I never actually grieved my fathers death. For 2 years I was extremely depressed b/c of the cancer, being stripped of everything (dignity, feminine looks, pride, low self esteem etc.) I have 2 children and my oldest who is now almost 16 took his grandfather's death very hard and he has occasionally brought up the subject of my dad talking about how much he misses him and when he does I kind of like just rush him through it and say yeah we all miss and love him and try to change the subject as quickly as I can. I have accepted my father's death but I just don't want to have to deal with all the emotions to grieve totally because of the amount of sadness I already had to endure. I also know that I am sure that I am tying the sadness of the cancer to my father's death b/c they were back to back and I guess I just don't want to have to experience that kind of sadness ever again. The trouble is my oldest son is suffering b/c he also needs to finish grieving for his grandfather and I know I am the only one that can really help him through that but in order for me to have to help him through I will have to endure the sadness and depression once again which I am so afraid of doing. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. I want to help my son but I also just want to be happy for a change instead of crying hysterically all the time. HELP!
0 -
Hi Krista,
You say that you've been depressed for the 2 years since your diagnosis...have you been doing anything to help deal with those feelings? If you don't want to deal with therapy, or taking an anti-depressant on an ongoing basis, it might help to have something like Xanax to take the edge off on the days when you feel overwhelmed. Unlike most anti-depressants, you don't have to take it everyday and let it build up in your system to start working, and most oncologists are very willing to write a prescription for it.
Is your Mom still around? She might be in a place to share memories of your Dad with your son. You also might want to try focusing your energies on sharing happy memories of your Dad as a way to start working through your own issues with his death.
It is hard to move on when there is a huge elephant sitting in the middle of the room. You will at some point need to deal with your sad feelings about losing your Dad so you can start to really enjoy the rest of your life that you have worked so hard to get. The thing is that those feelings don't have to throw you into a deep pit of sadness. Allow yourself some time to feel sad, but also build things that will lift your mood (like watching a good comedy with your son) into the schedule. It is hard to wallow in sadness when you are laughing. If you can manage to do that, you will give your son and yourself a wonderful gift, and truely honor your father.
0 -
Well said PatMom! Krista, I don't have anything to add and I can't relate to the relationship you've lost, I can only say I'm sorry for what you are going through and I'm glad you are asking and talking. Obviously ignoring it isn't working for you so I hope you can finally see your way to facing it - as much as it sux! We're here for any support we can give...
0 -
Thanks Navygirl! I appreciate it.
0 -
Krista, let me add that you have probably mourned both your health and dad's death at the same time and not really ridden your psyche of the pain of either! You deserve the chance to heal at your own rate. Can you get a school councellor for your son? As adults, we seem to deal a bit better, but if this is his first "death" he may be overwhelmed. As he learns to deal with it, it will become easier for you two to talk.
0 -
Well, my son is autistic (high functioning). Yes this was his first death and he has experienced many more deaths in the past 2 years. And has basically seen many people die from cancer and so all he can figure is cancer = death which makes his stability for me real shaky. He has talked to the school counselor but it hasn't really helped too much. He is going to begin talking to our pastor once a week (his choice...go figure!) but he continues to look towards me to help him. Which I would lay down my life for either of my children in a heartbeat. But the emotional pain that I went through during my treatments was almost too much to deal with and I don't want to return to it if at all possible. I want to help my son but I don't want to get into that depression again either. Hopefully talking with our pastor will help ease things a bit.
0 -
Krista,
(((HUGS)))
Harley
0 -
Nancy,
I'll be thinking of you, and hoping for B9 results!! Sorry you have to go through a biopsy yet again!! Sending BIG HUGS to you, girl!
Navy,LOL I'm a BIG DOOF!!! I am hooked on Mafia Wars! I play whenever I get the chance! But, I never have enough ENERGY to do these higher level jobs!! I think I'm level 50 now.
My IOS: I seem to have some kind of 'summer' cold... Monday, I had a sore throat, and today my nose is all stopped up!! Of course, I always wonder if there could be another aspect to these symptoms. I was even feeling a little scared that I might have.... SWINE FLU!!!
Goodnight, all!!
Harley0 -
A few seconds ago Krista wrote:
NatureGrrl,
UH, yeah, sorry to say...the hot flashes are normal. And you haven't seen anything yet! The chemo puts you into a chemical menopause and if you choose to do what I did b/c I was HER2NU +3, I had my ovaries taken out. So now I am in full blown menopause. Girl, let me just tell you....the hot flashes and night sweats are crazy! This past winter my poor husband kept getting sick (colds and stuff) and I finally realized it was b/c I had been opening up the windows in the middle of the night to cool off and leaving them up through part of the night when it was like 19 degrees outside...LOL! Poor thing! He asked me if I was trying to kill him.
Yep, I have one of the most wonderful husbands I think anyone could ask for. Been married 16 years and he told me that we have been together this long...can't get rid of me now! ha! He gave me the best gift while going through treatment which was just to stand there and take it. I can remember right after having my lumpectomy (3days after) I really felt disfigured by the way I looked and was insistent upon going out and finding some sort of boob to fill in the gap. It really wasn't that big of one but for me it was way too much! And I made my husband and my mom take me to the mall to try to find something...anything...it didn't matter. And nobody had anything. The more I looked the more I had people telling me No, they didn't have anything like what I wanted. So after the millionth time of hearing "It will be alright", I lost it and cursed them both out standing in the middle of the mall! Screaming at the top of my lungs, "This is NOT alright!" God bless them....they stood right there and took it....didn't say a word and just let me scream and get it out of my system. That, hands down was the best gift anyone has ever given me. Right afterword's, I went to Victoria Secret's and found exactly what I needed! So, don't give up and I have been right where you are standing right now and know the fears, anxiety, anger and the want to have your "normal" life back. Believe me! So anytime you want to vent, just scream, I am here for ya girl! Stay tough!
Krista~ Hope, Faith and Blessings!
Dx 2007, DCIS, Stage IIb, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+0 -
Harley44, where are you from? I live in NC! Raleigh / Durham area! Are you at the beach? Are you close to Wilmington at all? A very good friend of mine lives in Wilington area who started the nonprofit organization called Lumps To Laughter. It's a great organization for help with people with breast cancer.
0 -
Yes, I live in NC, near the beach. I live in Carolina Shores, and it is about an hour south of Wilmington.
Just about everyone I have met from bc.org who live nearby (one lives near Sunset Beach and the other lives in Wilmington) get their health care from Raleigh/Durham area, from DUKE!!! I couldn't go that route, because 1. it was too far 2. my insurance ... Duke is out of network for me.
That sounds like a great organization! How do I contact someone from Lumps for Laughs?
If you are ever in the area, maybe we could meet...
Hugs
Harley0 -
WhaSux? Not much for me right now THANK GOD! Just trying to adjust to the constant pain & pray the drug change will eventually make a difference. Meanwhile, chemo fatigue is surprisingly absent (after 2 years!!!) but still needing to sleep a lot some nites......must be the percoset~
Jane---YEAH!
Nancy--!#@#$%#$$
Traci-------smooches & prayers as you wait
Dream---his name is Guy Noir----gotta be a Praire Home Companion fan to get it!
Patmom---right on for the great advise
Krista---counseling could help both of you. I worked one on one with high functioning ausbergers boys----HE will call the shots & find his way thru with the right ppl (& you are definitely one of them!) YOU need to work thru it, hon. Even if it means more tears...better to get them ALL out & feel healed--hugs, My dad died while I was in the middle of chemo the first time....
Harely, barbe, kak-----keep making the rest of us LOL
To all others---I'm a complete chemobrain----forgive me for forgetting your IOS's!
HUGS all--be well & stay strong
0 -
Prairie Home Companion..... nope.... but Guy Noir works if he is black or partially black furbaby.
0 -
I knew there was a reason I didn't watch Grey's anatomy.
Saint, thanks for saying all that! I 2nd!
(((Dream))))
0 -
Tracy - colour me stupid... why did you not watch Greys Anatomy - doesnt someone have stage 4 cancer?..... is she gonna leave the show? And what are you seconding?
0 -
holy mackerel! I'm so confused...why didn't Traci watch Greys? Who wants a black furbaby? What does it have to do with Prairie home companion?
Clearly I need a mimosa.
HAPPY FRIDAY !!!!
0 -
Doi on me too. Sooooooo confused.....just when I thought it was all together.....sigh.
0 -
fat chance barbe
0 -
0 -
Harley44, their website is lumptolaughter.org It was made up by a very dear friend who went through BC about maybe 5 ish years ago. She said that when she went through everything she would go online and could never find anything positive about BC and nothing that was Christian based. She has written a book too that was just published a few months ago and it is one of those books I wish I had while going through the treatments. It gave me a few tears but mostly a bunch of laughter b/c I was able to see that someone else felt all the same feelings I did in the same kind of time frame. Their office is located in Wilmington and they have a support group that meets too. She also has a page on Facebook too so if you are on facebook look it up!
So if anyone out there is just beginning treatments check out the website LumptoLaughter.org Look into purchasing the book b/c you will NOT regret it.
Saint, yeah I thought that was going to be the response that I would get...I was just really hoping that someone would have another bright idea that I have not yet figured out. I just really don't want to experience those very sad emotions again but if that is what has to be done to help my baby then that is what I will do....just really really really don't want to! UGH!
But on the up-note....IT'S FRIDAY YA'LL!!!! Yeah!
0 -
Krista, I'm glad to hear someone else has a website where they laugh at cancer. When you can find a way to laugh at something, you cut it down to size. And BC is such a monster, all attempts to cut it down to size are helpful.
I have been making some art to laugh at it, and also to present the experience to the unitiated. Here's a piece I just finished a few days ago; it's a post-treatment diagram to 'splain what we go through. Victoria's Secret, eat your heart out!
0 -
I like the bra!! And your art work is inspired, as always, Kathi
I haven't kept up like I'd like to - shout-outs were garbled beyond redemption. My meds may be taking care of that, Stg IV section has my rants if anyone's interested - can't blame you if you're not... because IT'S FRIDAY!!!
Even those who don;t work (for now) enjoy FRIDAYS!
Lisa
0 -
LOL....sorry guys. I had never seen Grey's Anatomy before. When I wrote that post, I had been on the computer and it was on the t.v. so, I caught a glimpse of it. It was an episode about that girl who was in Knocked Up (which by the way, I used to describe my hair to friends who lived away from me. They would ask "What does your hair look like? and I would say "Like the lead actor in Knocked Up, only dark brown.")
Anyway.....she obviously had some kind of cancer, got married, and at the end of the episode, lost her hair. That's all I know. It make me cry. Sorry for the confusion.
Kathy, that pic is awesome.
0
