Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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hi navy,
i hope your arm will be o.k. i'm sending good thoughts
i had an appt. with my onc. 2day, and fortunately she took things more seriously. she wants me 2 do an ultrasound on sunday (everything's closed here on friday and saturday), and come back 2 see her on tuesday, so i hope everything's fine. 0 -
Hey you wonderful, sharing, kind to each other, amazing ladies,
today I can give you the sucky stuff in a brief analogy. I've been putting out fires. Youngest DD discovered, after being suspicious for a while, that her dh has been addicted to cocaine!!!!! BLEW US AWAY!!! We knew he was acting weird, but he finally admitted it the day after I left town to visit a good friend in a girlfriends mountain getaway so she didn't tell me til I got back. We put him, willingly, into a local hospital/clinic where they admitted and kept him for 5 days with lots and lots of therapy. That fire was the biggest. Darling son, who got a DUI on St. Pat's night has grown up and taken care of all the fines, punishments and community service all himself!!!!!!! My boy has grown up (27yrs old). And now I trust that he can put out his own fires. Now he needs a good girlfriend. YAY. Oldest kid, dd, also got a DUI in April, is a smokingly slow poke. She lights little fires whereever she goes. She did go to court by herself and neither the cop or her lawyer showed up, so they ruled in her favor. She's LUCKY. Still drinks, smokes, drives and has taken up with a really "nice" 35 yr. old man who STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. ARRGH worse, he has tattoos all over his body. big bold black ones, one looks like a saber from his forehead straight down the middle of his face to his hairy chin. ON HIS FACE!!!! WORSE... he did that stretching thing they do to his earlobes,,,, honey, I'm not talking nickles here, this dude, I'M NOT KIDDING.... has FOUR inch earlobes with a gaping hole in them.... he decorates the bottom with some sort of silver and I KID YOU NOT... they swing and sway when he walks and talks.... HAHAHAHAH this is the truth. My dh said he got nauseous trying to have a conversation with this man because of his dangling earlobes!!!!!!!!! We are kinda scared of him. DD (29) says, but he's So Sweet and Nice and she's totally smitten and turns into a mushy giggly idiot when she's with him. Oh, he must be like a survivalist or something cause he wears a wide black belt with a ten inch knife on the back and chains hanging from pockets connected to God knows what.
We ditched our usual 4th July backyard cookout fireworks event cause the son in law can't drink beer and dh didn't want to have to look at those lobes on the boyfriend. kinda sad that he's not being accepted by her family, but FOR GOD'S SAKE, he looks so scary it's hard to wonder why he did all that to himself (and I don't really want to know what else). All his other family members look like normal humans. AND she's been sleeping with him in his 87 chevy van. OMG. for real.
Sister in law was in a car accident and we just found out that she has a fractured cervical vertebrae!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Shit.
Other than that, I got a bad Thyroid dx and mom got an Alzheimers dx. Sister got a job!! Yay, she's an LPN. Job is a 40 min. drive one way, yuk. but good for her. I went to a new chiropractor yesterday that professes Total Body Wellness. Yeah, they got a no-go on my ins. which is my battle for today. Sux to have to fight for so much shit that we shouldn't have to fight for. Especially, when one's family is a giagantic mess and my back and neck are still a mess too and my insurance is paid up thru this year, so WTF? I'm getting ready to make necessary calls to fight that out now. Wish me luck!
moan, groan and whine............ ain't life grand? thanks for listening.
~Connie
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Wow! Great rant Connie! A big that SUX to almost all of it!
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WhaSux??
I'm baaackkk! Rented RV made for a good trip, but Faithandfifty & her dh were so much fun we never "camped." We just used it like 2 hotel rooms & proved to be a big bargain when you add that the "2 rooms" included gas!
Navy-prayers for Roberta--so sorry~!
Dream--so sorry about your friend--that sux! ...and you ARE beautiful! I know--I've met you & spent hours talking with you! Don't you trust OUR judgement over that of a bunch of nasty teenagers????
Sessna & Jane---That sux! Maybe the doc's office is so bad they are used to getting those letters they don't even blink....?
Connie---we could make this a contest on who has the craziest family--but then we should start a new thread! In spite of how much suckiness is in your life you still made me LOL
Hugs all----be well & stay strong
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OH! and Idaho...dh & I were howling at your post--living in Wis we have the same gripe!
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Quick drive-by, but I'll be back later. Hugs to all & a large That Sucks to all who need them, and a lot of you do. Dream, I second what everyone else has said. You look beauteous & your little guy is a cutie & whereever you are looks lovely - some kind of park?? Hey, Saint, glad you had fun!
later...
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Wow Connie that REALLY SUCKS!!
My gripe...why does everyone feel they have to tell you 'oh honey, maybe you won't lose your hair' - WTH!!! Do they think I am STUPID!! Geeesh, I guess I have just been wasting time with the hours(weeks) I have spent over the last two months researching and trying to mentally prepare myself for this battle...
I just got back from getting my pre-chemo hair cut...it is REALLY short and I am feeling vulnerable right now...anyway thanks for letting me vent.
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Jeez Connie, what a great rant and OMG that SUX!!!! My kid's only 17 months and and angel, but if he does that sort of thing I'd... ok I don;t know... man that SUX!!!
o2bhealthy- hell yes, that SUX!
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The picture is in the courtyard of my apartment building. We were have a social night with hotdogs, hamburgs and pop. I took the grandson down to feed him. I am such a great cook, LOL. Hot dog in one hand, ice cream in the other. (And I am wearing white).
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Lots of sux-ing. But Connie, I think you're blew the top off the sux-o-meter! Can't get the flapping earlobes out of my mind...
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Connie....you're in the top two this week.
Where are you guys? Poker party for the Relay starts at 7:00 PST, my house. If you can't make it wish us luck. If we throw some more money at cancer maybe we can save our daughters and sons from this heart ache.
Don't forget to support your local Relay.
This ones for RanD. We love you.
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barbe1958 Thank you.
kmmd Thank you!
Prayers for Roberta
RachelBCthat's sad. My last onco felt that the bottom line is weighing risk against benefit. No it is not for me!!! You watch a person you love die of medication and then say that to me - you be a caregiver and say that to me.
KAK - Right on! Right on!
Jane M - I really don't believe "all" of them don't care, they just have the agenda to kill that cancer even if they have to kill you in the process. I couldn't work with that agenda, I'd have to change careers. You need a medical mind that is not the kind God gave me - at times, numbers mean zip to me. Take your numbers and play lotto with them, that's about all they mean to me.
Oncologists really BELIEVE they are doing their best by you to make everything second to cancer treatment. It's up to the patient to say, "No," when it's time to say no. I refused to start chemo until I knew in my gut and soul that I could say "No" to an oncologist. And that's what I ended up doing with my last oncologist.
This is MY life, not his.
Wise dreamwriter is correct. My onco's nurse may have intercepted my letter. He just has one less patient to experiment on and care about. He did care, I know he did, but not in the way I needed or wanted him to for my case. Think about how your job would be if your customers, clients, etc. got very ill or died more often. I can extend sympathy to them. I don't think I could do their job. Wait, I know I couldn't do their job for long.
I took my onco's office staff Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Cookies and Joe Joe's cream center cookies. They will not forget me. I was a nice patient... hee hee hee!
Dreamwriter is a sweetheart. Look at beautiful Nathan being loved. Look at the loving face on her! Thank you for sharing the picture. Smiles and eyes say a lot. You were NEVER ugly in any school. I say so, therefore, it must be.
I'm sorry dreamwriter. May your boss rest in peace. Lord, comfort her soul.
Aww, sagit. That SUXS. I thought other countries were supposed to have 'better' health care than us. Good grief - I'm staying here.
I have to re-digest Connie07's letter before I can write more.
I still continue to say, "bless the ladies and people (there may be men) on the boards" in my prayers.
NEWS THAT DOESN'T SUCK HERE, LADIES- My last CT scan showed that TCH is reducing the size of my tumors. They still have to figure out where my lymph nodes may have taken the cancer... they are concerned about ovarian cancer or breast cancer that is trying to travel to my ovaries.
I learned from a nurse that I need to diplomatically demand a PT scan - it's time to find out the best picture of where my cancer is, preferably before they biopsy me.
There's a specialist in town that does an assay on cancerous tissue that would be willing to work with the City of Hope Medical Center (where my new onco is), but he HAS to have tissue that has tumor in it - No guessing.
I had never heard of a doctor that does an assay - takes a fresh piece of cancerous tissue and whisks it off to the lab to try different chemo drugs on it to see which is most effective in killing that specific cancer.
The only way to pull that off is the detailed PT scan and maybe, maybe an Interventional Radiology person. We're talking either funds, cooperation, coordination, ... well, we're talking all that, possibly.
Still, my new onco talks to me about the plan, and my old one did not. My new onco shows that she is listening to me, and my old one did not. I am sure that I made the right decision to change. It wasn't easy, but I prayed, ladies, I prayed, asked for grace and favor, and I stuck out my foot right forward right after I put my whole self in God's hands... every morning.
sessna1
P.S. An Interventional Radiologist does not have you lie on the couch and ask, "WHY do you think you have tumors?" No. He or she is the step before major surgery to get a biopsy from a place in your body that is hard to reach. They go in with an x-ray, ultra sound, etc. to get that tissue for your oncologist to study.
Med school has too many big words for me.
Hugs to all my sisters on the boards. Hugs to board writers and anyone who is poor in spirit because they are going through trials.
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How's Roberta, hope she pulls through...
Hanging earlobes...too FREAKY!
More power to you for writing to your onc to let him know why you dumped him, perhaps a copy to the one that runs the place would shake thins up enough to change things for future ladies.
What interesting news about assays! Another breakthrough?
hugs......suzie
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I forget whose daughter has the boyfriend with the hanging lobes. I think you are making a mistake in cancelling things. No NO. Welcome him into the fold. She has picked the most shocking guy she can to get a reaction. There is no other reason. So dont give it to her. Tell the guy you look forward to the wedding. Want to help plan it. Watch HIM run scared. He did these things to himself, for fun, for what if. But your daughter brought him home to scare the sh*t outta you and it did.
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OOOOOOOOOO....great advice Dream!
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sessna, i'm glad u changed your onc. doctors who don't listen r the worst!
michelle, i can totally relate on the hair thing. i think that despite all the awful things that chemo does 2 the body, losing the hair is the worst.
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saint is back, saint is back! Yay!
Connie07, you just described an ABC movie of the week that never made it to production. I don't like Mr. Long Lobes packing forseeable weapons, either. Prayers for safety for all that Connie07 loves. Has your DD always drifted toward stray cats with bite marks in their body (post-fighting)? I 'm told that IF you take those ear lobe stretchers out that the ear lobe will go back to "normal." Do you think that they lied to me?
I tell you whut, I bet Mr. Jumbo Lobes he has SOME story. Wait, does that make him "Jumbo Long Lobes?"
O2bhealthy, do you have your 17th day of chemo wig(s) ready? Does one look similar to your short hair cut? Just remember, some dear ladies hope and pray that their hair won't fall out - it is more than a 50-50 chance that it will, but that doesn't stop anyone from hoping. Some people know no better than to hope for the long shot.
I am saddened that you are feeling vulnerable. You need all kinds of strength to go into chemo. They are going to ask you about your SEs, and poke you some more with needles, and show you numbers. Do you have a pal/friend you will take along to chemo?
Hugs to dreamwriter, KAK, navygirl, barbe1958, sagit, and kmmd. (Be patient for your own hug - it's coming. Thank you.)
Prayers for all.
sessna1
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P.S. sagit, oncos and people that don't listen are the worst, too! Beware people who are poor listeners. Hug your babies tight and keep them away from those people. Thank you. - sessna10
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Sessna1: Thank you for your kind words...doing better now (at least I don't cry when I look in the mirror anymore
). In all honesty, it is not a bad hair cut. It really is sassy...would I have ever cut my hair this short before cancer - no way!!!! But at least this was MY CHOICE and I am taking back some control...by the time I get used to this new 'style' I'll have started chemo and it won't be so traumatic losing my hair (right?)...it seems so petty, this worry about my hair...my mom is confused that I have cried more over this then my bilat mx...I have so much to be grateful for but sometimes this whole thing makes me sooo mad, sad, frustrated... 0 -
Hi ladies...I'm sorry I don't have time to finish reading...gotta get to work. I just wanted to tell you all THANK YOU for the prayers...I heard last night that my friend Roberta is doing better. They stopped the bleed in her brain, sucessfully operated on an anyurism (don't ask me to spell that at this hour with no coffee in me) and she was taken off the ventilator!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA. I'm so so happy for her. What a scary, scary ordeal. And they said she had a sinus infection. All I can say is, when you know there is something more going on, keep pounding your fist until someone listens.
Jane...I'll let you know when it eases up - so far mine hasn't shown any signs of improvement. Although, I do remember the oddes things - like dates. But have trouble with names and driving like you did. Barbe's funny, but she's probably right
Love you guys...have a GREAT Monday!!!
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Good morning everyone. Glad to hear Roberta is on the mend. Prayers go out for all of you and your families. Hugs, Nancy
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sessna, u r right. people who don't listen r terrible as well. i wonder how they grow 2 be so messed up.
navy, glad 2 hear your friend is doing better.
and a big THAT SUCKS 2 everyone who needs it.
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Prayers for Roberta are powerful group prayers and answered affirmatively. Praise to God.
Contentious men and women SUCK. Combative, stubborn, irrational, proud, rude, and ego-inflated men and women SUCK. Having a deadbeat dad for a brother is shameful. I am ashamed for him.
Please consider signing my congressional bill to prevent immature people from getting married to anyone else - immature or not. Thank you.
Would the prayer people out their pray for my nephew, Aubreigh? Please? He's the most important person here, not his parents. Pronounced "Aww-bree." Thank you. I would appreciate it, my heart breaks, cries, bleeds, and implodes for that little guy. Having divorced parents sucks - I'm a member of the club.
O2bhealthy. You are welcome, warrior woman. You couldn't have gotten through the double if you weren't already a super strong lady. I had a single because it was all I could wrap my mind around at the time. [? Do guys feel that way about their fruit basket?] God knew that about me. I like my snuggly 38Bs. Cancer could come back in my second one, and if that is to be found on a yearly mammo or by me, he'll prepare me to let that one go, too. I'm gonna talk to my new onco about it.
Hugs to Jane M, leftyAKAnancy, O2bhealthy, and suzie14.
Prayers for ALL.
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Navy, so glad to hear your friend is doing better. How is your ankle? Should I make a special PT field trip down there to see you??
Sagit, how are you? 'Sup with the lump? Any change? Where do you live when you are not in Israel?
Barbe, hugs just because. How's Mr. Barbe?
Nancy/Lefty, glad some endings are in sight! Boredom can be beautiful, I've always said.
Jane, I'm sorry to say that there's chemobrain, and then there's also cancerbrain (which those of us who didn't have chemo get -- brain gets scrambled by rads, is my theory!!), then there's hot flash brain from taking hormone therapy, then there's just plain ol' encroaching middle age (altho' I don't know if you're old enough to qualify for that), then there's the post-traumatic-stress-brain we all experience. So, take your pick....Once, before I actually started getting treated, but after I was diagnosed, I 'forgot' to put my car in park when I'd stopped to see a patient, took my foot off the brake, and felt my car suddenly roll a foot and dent his garage door. A harbinger of things to come, that's for sure! Hugs on the suckage.
Connie, you just can't make this stuff up, can you?? Well, my dear, you have come to the Right Place!! Regarding DD's tattoo'd & mutilated BF, I say if it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it's a duck. U & hubby have a right to be scared, but of course if you say or do anything, she'll defend him, so you have to use reverse psychology & hope she comes to her senses. I agree with Dream on that. I hope she doesn't think she's going to "change" him tho' --- us girls do sometimes get into that nonsense with the bad boys. Never works.
Hugs on general principle to Dream, Saint & Sessna for recent 'adventures,' both IOSs & SOIs.
Sessna, I'm soooo glad your new onco has some working brain cells! Good luck, sweetie! And of course I'll include Aubreigh in my prayers.
o2b, listen, girlfriend, it may 'only' be hair, but losing it is also like wearing a freakin' buildboard that screams 'HEY, I HAVE CANCER!' which is not how we all wanna be walking around. It's yet another assault in this whole "scorched earth" ordeal we go through.
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sessna, i'm sending good thoughts 2 your nephew.
kak, before my dh and i came 2 israel, we lived in brooklyn, and we miss it like crazy. unfortunately the lump is a tumor, and i can't have surgery, because it's 2 close 2 my airways. my onc. thinks i have between a few weeks and a few mounths. i'm very shocked and overwhelmed. i'll do an alternative treatment, and hopefuly it'll work.
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sessna, i'm sending good thoughts 2 your nephew.
kak, before my dh and i came 2 israel, we lived in brooklyn, and we miss it like crazy. unfortunately the lump is a tumor, and i can't have surgery, because it's 2 close 2 my airways. my onc. thinks i have between a few weeks and a few mounths. i'm very shocked and overwhelmed. i'll do an alternative treatment, and hopefuly it'll work.
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OMG, sagit! That's awful! Chemo would be the treatment of choice in a case like this, so I hope you can get that to work out. ((((((((((sagit)))))))))) Please keep letting us know how you are or we will worry about you.
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May heart just sank seven inches after reading sagit's reply.
You give kindness to me and then you tell us that your life has been turned upside down and over. What a heart has this lady, what a great heart has this lady. No matter when we leave the earth, I will see you in Heaven, sagit. I will see you there.
Don't turn me in, non-believers, be tolerant of one Bible verse here. It says that prayers of a righteous person make a difference. We're all four steps away from devastating news, please don't keep me from asking for prayers for a sister in christ. Don't punish me for it. Thank you for your consideration of this request.
Strong prayers for sagit. All you believers and praying people on this board, please.
- James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Inoperable is tragic to deal with. I want to go to Heaven some day, but right before entry, I'm gonna ask God to let me kick Satan in his butt ( I don't think he has a male fruit basket). I'm gonna kick for sagit and all the best of people that I ever met on the earth that he messed with.The ironic part is that if not for Satan's offer of sin to us, there wouldn't need to be examples of phenomenal people who stand up to him and moon him in his face.
My heart is still sunken.
My prayers for you, sagit.
-sessna
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Oh Sagit. I'm sorry. If love and hugs could fix it for you, we would gladdy oblige. Stay here with us. We'll do what we can so bitch away why we pray for you.
{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
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Damm Sagit! I am praying for you. Hope your expiration date is much later than that!
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