Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

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Comments

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 673
    edited July 2009

    Navygirl, happy your friend is doing better.

    Sessna: Funny how some things bother us more then others.  I did ok with the bald but am having a terrible time with my eyelashes falling out yet again and the growing out stage with the hair. I'll be thinking of Aubreigh for you too, poor kid.   And I want to be able to watch when you kick satan in the but.

    Sagit, I'll be thinking of you all the time, I'm so sorry you're going through this .  I agree with the others please stick with us here because we'll be constantly wondering how you are doing.  Hard to explain to others how you can get to know people so well that you've never met.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited July 2009

    Oh girls, I finally had a few minutes of peace and quiet to catch up - I tried last night but fell asleep with the laptop on me so I thought it best to put it down.

    Thank you all for your prayers...Roberta continues to improve although from what we understand she has a long road ahead and may need to go on permanant disability. This is a strong woman and if anyone can overcome these circumstances I know she can.

    Sess...I hope no one on this thread would consider turning you in for such a lovely thing. There is room for everyone here I think, and while non-believers may not wish to pray, I know they too wish things were different for Sagit.

    Sagit...if I could smuggle you in, I would. I'm sorry you are having to deal with such a tough thing. Believe in the resources you have available...sometimes alternative works wonders just like sometimes modern medicine doesn't. There are things in life we never understand, but we are here with you and offer our support and prayers.

    o2b...your hair looks marvelous! I know it sucks...and who can explain why one things bothers us when another doesn't? I was fine with blm, chemo, hair loss, weight gain...but when I had to have my ovaries out I was deeply depressed for weeks. I cried and cried and cried. I know realistically I was not going to need them to bear children...but it was the finality of a decision that was more thrust upon me than one I had made. Maybe that's the root of your sadness too - you can choose the blm...but your hair falling out is beyond your control and that SUX. I now keep mine short because every time I try to let it grow, it only gets so long then it starts growing out and curly...I end up looking like a hippee. If I'm gonna be a hippie I'm gonna wear sandals, tye dye and walk around with a fatty behind my ear :)

    Renee - I love your pic. I never told you that...but to see you bald and smiling with someone looking on at you is just the best thing we could have for those who are about to get there.

    KAK...the ankle is on again and off again. I suspect it's all the exercise that has it in an uproar and also is the reason the cortisone shot isn't working. When I got it last year it was right before my blm and chemo so I didn't do much but lay around -hence it lasting almost a year. Now that I am active again, it's just not as effective. But, I can't just lay around the house so I'm working around it as best as I can. My understanding of an ankle fusion is you have limited to no motion so I will have to work around it once I have the surgery too. Beats having Cancer is all I can say!

    Ok, enough play time... I really must get to work. I hope you all have a love-er-ly day! Sagit, hang in there....someone said it...you have no expiration date!

  • PatMom
    PatMom Member Posts: 322
    edited July 2009

    Sagit, there is a very special satisfaction in proving a pessimistic doctor wrong.  I hope that you get to enjoy that satisfaction for a very long time to come.

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited July 2009

    o2b- I know its not fun and its not what it use to be and the reason for the cut is sucky, but you look really good with short hair! Deep breath, hugs and prayers. You CAN do this, you are stronger than you think, your dh seems sooo supportive and there are many here ready to help how ever they can.

    Sagit- I don't know what to say, I wish there was a magic wand or something I could say to make this all go away but I have neither. I can only offer my prayers, gentle hugs and a shoulder to lean on. PatMom said it well- I pray you prove them all wrong!

  • sagit
    sagit Member Posts: 15
    edited July 2009

    hi guys,

    thank u so much for your support. i can't do chemo. the onc. said that it'll only shrink the tumor, and once the treatment is done, it'll re-grow. on a happier note, my dh and i went 2 travel agency 2day, and the agent said that the visa i have will get me into the u.s. i got a visa for 10 years when i came 2 the states, but i thought i need another one. fortunately, i was wrong, so our flight will be sometime next week. i know we r coming back 2 ny under very bad circumstances, but i'm still excited about it. oh, and i have no intention 2 die. i'm sure the alternative treatment will work.

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited July 2009

    Things always seem to have a way of working out just right....

  • Sessna1
    Sessna1 Member Posts: 200
    edited July 2009

    Kmmd. I'm not okay with anything, bald, almost undetectable half moon hashmarks east and west on fingernails, night sweats, not telling many people because I just can't deal with inane comments.  Food still doesn't taste right.  Now THAT SUX.  I'm doing the best I know how to.  Oh!  I never had  many eyelashes to begin with, that's the only reason that eye hair doesn't get to me.  Three cycles of TCH thinned out my brows and lashes, but didn't take them all away.

    Prayers for our sis Roberta and sagit.

    They might want to take my ovaries?  What will I do at night then, navygirl, ... melt?  I can sit and have a river of sweat run down my face.  I am just undone.  I also just had a lecture about giving up my other breast and going for the recon. (non-medical person suggested this) I think I'm getting scalpel fever.  Please forgive the hair standing up on my neck...  [Don't cut me, man!  Don't tase me, bro!]

    Renee's picture is lovely.  O2bhealthy is cute as a button.

    I second PatMom.  I agree with PatMom.  May sagit dance at the doctor's wake because he has gone home to be with God, and God is still blessing her here on earth.

    Sagit's comin' back to the states!  Her visa is good to come and go!  HOOOOORAY!  Alternative medicine plus stuff do your thing with God in control.  I love ya, Israel, but this is our homegirl, okay?  She's a New Yorker.

    -sessna1

  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 428
    edited July 2009

    I have read this thread before, but not sure if I ever posted. I am so sorry to hear about everyone's troubles. However it makes me feel a little normal knowing there are others out there like me. Most of my family is either sick or going through life changing events.

    Connie, I really had to laugh at the hanging earlobes. My 8 yr old saw someone in church and said "mom why would someone do that, i will never do that" I told her that is good because as long as she lives with me she will NOT do that!!!!!

    It is nice to have a place to bitch and moan, so here is my moan today.

    My back on my leftside near where I had rads is very sore today, a 10. I was feeling good, so the kids and I went to the library, the store and then had lunch and played at the park. Well I was feeling good as I said, so I foolishly swang on the swings, then my side started to hurt, so we had to go home. I just took a percocet and put a pain patch on it. THAT SUX!!!!

    ABIG THAT SUX!!!!!!! for everyone!!

    Take care and have a great day!!!!!

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 673
    edited July 2009

    Mary, hope you're feeling better

    Sessna, if I was insensitive to what you needed to hear I'm sorry, hugs to you tonight 

  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 288
    edited July 2009

    I'm blushing....how kind of you Sesna and Navy.  I will take any compliment I can get right now.  I would even pay for one.  If I had any $$$ right now I'd send you some.  Business SUX.

    Oh Sagit, how I wish I lived in NY to greet you at the airport and bring you food or paint your toenails or take you for a walk in the park....Wow, I make you sound like a poodle....I just want to help!!!!!  I can send you hugs from Oregon.  That's what I'll do.  Great big tree hugs.  {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Sucky hugs to all......

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 583
    edited July 2009

    WhaSux? Sounds like TOO much sux since I was last here!!! 

    BALD sux--but you are taking control & it IS do-able (I've done it twice--second time for 18 months!)  

    Coming home to Brooklyn sounds like something to get very excited about---AND you will have new docs to see for second opinions----we stage IV gals are not curable (by medical standards) but are LIVING to make the tumor smaller & when it re-grows we throw a new tx at it! HUGS                                                               

    Years ago they used to take tissue samples & grow them in petry dishes with different kinds of chemos! My surgeon & I talked about it at length--maybe they have discovered something new to be trying it again!  

    Prayers for the nephew & thank God the friend is improving!

    I got out of the habit of the puter while we were away...maybe when dh leaves town for his 3 week job I'll get back to it!  HUGS to ALL-I'm not ignoring you, just can't remember everything I just read to catch up---Oh, but that reminds me----chemobrain SUX the big one!! LOL

    Chemobrain indeed--I forgot MY IOS!!! My caesarean scar was too close to the rads site & a little spot below the site has opened & drained! Starting to heal but doc says 2 weeks of taking it easy (been doing that for 3 years! LOL) I say there is a conspiracy to make me look like Jabba the Hut!!!!!!!!
    THAT SUX to all who need it & big hugs to everyone

    Be well & stay strong


                                                                                                              

  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 932
    edited July 2009

    I agree with the rest of you about dealing with all the changes.  My eyelashes are falling out for a 2nd time.  My hair is horrible.  I think I'd be happy if I had curls.  This stuff I have now is long, scruffy looking nonsense.  What bothers me the most is the weight.  I'm having real trouble dealing with it and I don't know what I'm going to do.  I can actually even deal with the feet that feel like they are covered with fire ants and the legs that weigh 100 lbs a piece (thank you, Femara), but I cannot deal with the weight gain.  And my new PCP just decreased my synthroid, so I worry that I'll gain even more weight. 

    Unlike the hair and stuff, the weight is something I can control, but it's not working.  I'm hungry ALL THE TIME.  I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables (grapes, cherries and carrots). But, I've got to be doing something wrong.  My DH and I are talking about joining our local Y.  Hopefully, I'll find some motivation somewhere.  It's hard to exercise when moving hurts, but they have a pool there and that might help.

  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 377
    edited July 2009

    Gosh  I need to bitch.... I had my first MRI 2 weeks ago I am 1 year post lumpectomy and mamosite radiation along with Arimidex. The MRI highlighted 1 suspicious area in each breast..Had first biopsy on my lumpectomy side, Dr. called last night to say it was a reoccurance and it was because my Mamosite radiation had failed. Then she called me today to say that the final pathology is hard to read might not be cancer at all and it was sent to a breast pathologist ... I have my second biopsy on the "good breast" tomorrow. What a smuckin roller coaster ride if I didn't have a stash of valium I think I would need a straight jacket LOL. well thats my bitchin for today.

  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 932
    edited July 2009

    Omaha - B9 thoughts coming your way!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited July 2009

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Omaha }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Good luck today! Please post here so we don't have to hunt you down all over the boards!

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited July 2009

    I would have to B*tch sl*p someone if they did that to me Omaha...Please DO let us know...Thanks...

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited July 2009

    Thats why I am willing to wait for FINAL reports, I had similar experience early on with getting calls with the prelim readings that turned out very differently from finals.

    Hugs and prayers for benign reports!

    Hugs Saint

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited July 2009

    Sagit- when you get back (Kol Hakavod), check out NYU's cancer center because they are chock full of clinical trials and the latest stuff.  And also of course Sloan Kettering.  My RADS pal is Stage III at 31 and her previous employment was health insurance and her hubby is still a social worker, she knows all the ins and outs in the city to  get care paid for.  PM me when you get in if you want some help from her, I'll hook you up with her (also modern orthodox Jew, funny combo).

    Sessna- Can't imagine anyone would be offended by your beautiful prayer for healing!  Certainly not a nice Jewish gal like me.  :) 

    Mary- like you needed more trouble... :(  

    Linda- remember there's Xanax too!  ;)

    THAT SUX as appropriate 

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 678
    edited July 2009

    800_licudine_broken_heart.jpg

    My heart is broken.  My lovely, young, fun, giggly, nurse has a 12 cm mass in her liver.  She is so scared.  They put her on medical leave and dont expect her back anytime soon.  I have been assigned a new nurse.  I spent the morning crying.  I would not have known except no one called or came to my Tues appt.  I called to see if she was coming today and she had given me her CELL PHONE no.  So she told me the whole story and we cried together.  I am so mad.  She is pretty and nice and funny and such a special person.  She treats plain ole me like an equal.  And she is always interested in seeing my sewing projects and hearing my stories.

  • arnie
    arnie Member Posts: 922
    edited July 2009

    (((((((((((Dream)))))))))))))  so sorry to hear this news...  Cancer Sucks!!!!

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 673
    edited July 2009

    Dream and Omaha, hugs and a that sucks for you, so sorry

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 583
    edited July 2009

    WhaSux??

    Hugs omaha----keeping good thoughts that you are an anomoly that will confuse them, but will end up smiling in the end!

    Hugs dream-girl! YOU may be what SHE needs now--cuz God knows you are an inspiration & might give her a safe harbor as she processes all this #%^&!

    Hugs & THAT SUX as needed!

    Be well & stay strong

  • Sessna1
    Sessna1 Member Posts: 200
    edited July 2009

    kmmd - you couldn't offend me if you spit on my tennis shoes (please smile). (Please?)

    You have said nothing to offend me.  May you be blessed by Our Lord Jesus Christ, and may the wind be at your back, and may He shelter you in the palm of his Hand with a double portion of blessings and favor.  Amen

    -sessna1

    P.S. Like that Christina Aguilera song - Don't NO ONE bring you down, today ... you are beautiful.

  • Sessna1
    Sessna1 Member Posts: 200
    edited July 2009
    Prayers for dreamwriter and her nurse, please.
  • Sessna1
    Sessna1 Member Posts: 200
    edited July 2009

    OmahaGirl, that journey you described is a badly rigged ride on a "Enter at your own risk" amusement park on the boardwalk.  WTH?  Look, ‘medical professionals,' you're gonna kill some women with stress before any disease can finish them off.   I had Xanax years ago.  Good stuff.  Right now it's Ativan to get about five hours of straight sleep.

    [New fictional character: Scar-breast] "You want a piece of me?  You want a piec...  Oh, you already got my left breast.  Never mind."

    By the way, here is my best chemo joke (below) - I am an African-American, Negro, Colored, Brown person, okay?  That said.

    Sessna1 goes into an onco doctor's appointment and is asked to disrobe.  Pulling her shirt over her head, her wig falls off.  She blushes and says, "I'll fix it."  Gathering up the wig and going to the mirror over the office's washbasin, she looks at herself and yells, "What the.....!  Where's my curly red hair?"

    [Vaudevillian drum roll, please.]  [Don't throw food, ladies and gents. The next act is on his way in.]

    Jane_M ,  scruffy hair and weight gain SUX.  Yeah!  Yeah.  Thank you.  We shouldn't have mini Dennis the Menace cow licks.  We shouldn't be licked by cows!!! (ahem)

    -sessna1

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited July 2009

    Jane_M, Omaha and Dream...THAT SUCKS!!!

    <<<HUGS>>>

  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 377
    edited July 2009

    Okay you all made me laugh and even though it hurts a little to laugh I am glad I can. I won't know anything for sure until maybe Wednesday of next week. I told my BS no calls on Friday. Tender and I are banning all bad phone calls on Friday. I told my husband that I really wanted to shoot someone in the face with a bazooka so he had better watch out! He laughed and asked me if I even know what a bazooka looks like!!

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited July 2009

    Hey ya'll, A BIG THAT SUX where it's needed. I got the ins thing worked out. See, I'm paying for COBRA coverage and my former employer changed health ins provider in the middle of the year. I worked there for 18 years and we always changed during the summer, taking effect Oct. 1. But here we are, they sure enough changed and left me out of the info loop. So, I went to a new Chiropractor. She's really nice and the office and staff look professional. She did a thermal scan of my back and it showed 'hot spots' of pain, basically, lots and lots of red in my neck. (I had cervical surgery in Jan.) some red in the middle and more in the lower. They put me on an ice pack and a massaging table thing that was slightly rough but felt OH so good. They took x-rays and I'm going tomorrow to see the results. I gave her my back x-rays from last August to compare. Now, I've got nuts and bolts with a plate that will show up in my neck, I'm kinda excited to see them and see what or if she thinks she can help me.

    I've been taking Tramadol, Flexeril, Soma, Darvocet and it's so painful I can't think. Then I get this pinching sensation in my bc lumpectomy breast. That's been 2 years now and the pain is supposed to be gone. It feels like a piece of the tissue inside the nipple is being stabbed or pinched til it burns... WTH?

    I'm going to lie down. again. ... sigh

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited July 2009

    ((((Dream))))) that sucks so bad...I almost hate to share my news....

    I am going to see Deirks Bently on the 25th...I entered on the website for a chance to win a backstage pass to meet him and I WON!!!!! I've never won anything in my LIFE...but if ever there was something I'd want to win...this was it (besides the lottery of course!). I'm so excited...he's my FAVORITE singer.... 

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 105
    edited July 2009

    Navy that is so great!!!!! You go girl!

    I am sorry dream. That sux!!

    Coonie glad you got it worked out.

    Sux to all of you who need it.