Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Losing a pet is such a hard thing we have to live through. We know it going into the adoption, that in most cases, we will outlive our pet.But they are such joy and comfort and loyal companions. Those people who dont raise pets, like those that choose not to have children, miss out on one of God's greatest gifts, the unconditional love of a faithful, fuzzy companion that never betrays a secret or ditches you for lunch when you looked forward to that lunch date all week.They accept us on the good days and on the bad, they stand at the ready to be near us and dont ask for much in return.
It's sad that costs prevent ownership. Pets are lifesavers, often mood savers and provide vital comic relief.I miss not having a dog, sometimes The last one, Missy lived almost 15 years, Now we are a 2 cat household and I'm happy with that. One is 2 1/2 years old and the old one is pushing 18, I understand her, she understands me, it's the perfect relationship!!
I'm not bitching and moaning all the time, HAH!
Hugs, Connie
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Oh Navy, my heart is breaking for you! Last December I came home from work and one of my three cats met me at the door as usual and as I patted him I realized how skinny he'd gotten! When the heck had that started? Then we realized there was little blobs of blood all over the house (some outside our closed bedroom door one morning - he wanted in!) and we checked him over and he had a bleeding mass at his mouth. We were hoping it was a cut and I even gave him some of my antibiotics (he was perky enough and tried to eat), but as he was 15 years old, we weren't going to take him to the vet, either.
Anyway, he was spunky still and we got him soft catfood, but he too, wanted to press his body up against mine harder than before (body heat?). As he was going downhill and stopping to eat, our oldest cat (17) died! We found her dead on the closet floor.....so sad. Our little boy got sicker and sicker and kept dragging himself around the house. We were worried he would fall down the basement stairs as we found him there at the bottom one evening. If he broke something we would have to get him put down. (The poor guy was probably trying to go to the litter box...always such a good boy! We got a large high-sided box for him and put DH's old housecoat in it and placed it before the fire. He spent a couple days sleeping/coma and never cried out or anything. Then he passed excactly one week after the first one.
I buried two cats in one week....
I have one left and we are worried he is getting depressed but we can't stand the pain of losing another one if we get him a buddy.....sigh.So, long story short, I know exactly what you're going through. The pain we feel certainly validates the love we have for our fur babies....
{{{{{{{{{{{{ Navy }}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Navygirl, I know just what you're going through. We had our cat Tiger since the day he was born in my daughter's bedroom. He was one of 5 cats born on her 5th birthday, in 1995. In 2006 he got a sore on his lip that wouldn't heal. I was busy being a single mom with kids to raise, a job that was killing me and too many bills to pay.
Right before I started chemo I took him into the vet, knowing it wasn't going to be good. He had lost a lot of weight, ate like a race horse and drank water all the time. Tiger had cancer in his face and I had to make the decision to put him down.
After my second bout with BC and before my hysterectomy w/BSO, a tiny, scrawny orange cat showed up in my front yard. When I gave "him" a bowl of food, he actually hissed at me. Surprise, surprise when Jack went into heat! I brought her to the vet to be spayed and to have her shots. She was MY cat 100%. She followed me around with those big, dreamy eyes, as if to tell me Thank You, every day. She slept by me and would just sit on the arm of the couch and stare at me.
A few days after Thanksgiving this year, I noticed she wasn't looking quite like herself. I brought her to the vet and she ran blood work. I was heartbroken to learn that my Jack was incredibly anemic and her white count was off the charts. The vet said she was probably born sick and that she was surprised she was still alive. The vet couldn't guarantee that if we treated her that she'd survive. The vet said that she either had feline Leukemia or AIDS. I chose not to have more tests run on her and to put her down.
I have never been in the same room with a pet when they died, but I knew I had to be there for her. She was my angel, sent to me when I needed her the most. She helped me through some rough times and now it was my turn to be there for her.
I got an ornament of a cat for our Christmas tree and I'm still looking for something to put in the yard, in her memory.
The other night I was washing my face at the bathroom sink and I swear Jack walked by my left leg. I could feel her fur against my skin and as I looked around to see what it was, all I could do was smile. I truly believe she was there to let me know she was OK. I miss her like crazy...
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Smithlme, I "see" my cats all the time. I see then walk by the kitchen door or something. The one cat left has begun to "talk" alot and it is really quite funny. Also, he will sit on our bed and watch our bedroom door as if expecting the others to come. His ears twitch as if he hears them.
We have a nightly routine...my DH and I play Rock Band and then go to bed. Bogie knows when the music stops everyone goes to bed. It's so sweet! He will be sleeping in the livingroom with us and then jump down and "herd" us into the bedroom. Once we are settled he goes out and checks out the rest of the house then comes back in and settles down with us. We are worried that he will get depressed...
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smithlme - Feline leukemia or AIDS? You just blew me out of the water. First of all, do not eject your beloved cats, ladies. The information below says it cannot be transmitted to humans, however, I highly recommend doing your own research.
We are so evolving downwards as bacteria evolves upwards. THAT SUXS.
sessna1
http://www.petplace.com/cats/what-you-should-know-about-feline-aids/page1.aspx
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((((((Navy)))))). It is sooo hard when one of our four legged family members is sick. They can't tell us what is wrong or what hurts so we are left guessing, and our minds always seem to go to the worst place. There are many other things much more easily treatable than cancer that can cause a 9 year old dog like Bailey to lose weight.
You already know that you need to visit the vet with her. Hopefully you will find something as simple as a change in diet or a medication to regulate thyroid that will help Bailey feel like herself again. Even if you get the worst possible news, you know that it is not time yet for her to go, but you will be ready to ease her pain so she can have as long as possible as comfortable as possible.
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Sessna, I don't think any of us were worried about a transmitted disease, but about the expense and pain of treating an older animal. 0
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Out of 10 cats over the last thirty years, I only have one left. For a long time I had 7 or eight. They visit me at night. I think I have said before that I will think Oliver has jumped on the bed but when I turn he's not. I find it oddly comforting. Oliver, my last one is only 11 or 12 years old and he developed hyperthyroidism. He was on medication for a while but then it wasn't working. Having absolutely NO income I took him to have the iodine treatment which was outrageously expensive. I had to withdraw money from my 401K plan but he is worth every penny - I am afraid, however, that it will be hard on him since I have already told him he will have to live another 10-12 years to pay for his treatments! He was so thin when I picked him up from treatment but since he has gained so much weight.
Many hugs for those who have had to put down furry friends - no matter how many times you have done it, it is the hardest thing you can do. I'm welling up right now thinking of all my furry children that have gone on and pray they will be waiting by the Gates of Heaven to greet me when its my turn to go.
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Dear barbe1958 - I am aware that there are other people who may be reading these boards to try to get a handle on cancer and those that experience it.
I don't want them to panic and eject a pet (or throw out someone else's!) out of the same fear and under-education that makes folks say "mean" things to people who have cancer.
My comment was actually for them. Just like when you say "cancer," many people freak when you say "AIDS."
My intent was to protect furry friends from the harm of the unknowing unknowns who read our posts.
-sessna1
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Thanks ladies...we are going to have her thyroid checked again.. She has been on thyroid meds for about 5 years now and the vet thinks given the fact that she is fine otherwise, it may be time to adjust them down or possibly even stop them. Apparently it is not uncommon for there to be a spontaneous recovery from that. She is down only 4.7 lbs, and given where she started from it still leaves her at a good weight. In the mean time we will keep an eye on it. I think with all that has happened over the past 4 weeks or so I was feeling a little raw and vulnerable and noticing my girls weight loss was the straw that broke the camel's back -so to speak.
Sessna, thank you for clarifying your intended audience. I know it is never an easy decision when we are trying to balance our fur buddies health and quality of life when they start to decline.
((((HUGS)))) to all
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Here's to pets! I love 'em. as a matter of fact, a cat is lying across my left arm, on the computer between the keyboard and my formerly hairless shirt. Cats have amazing healing properties.
So.... Here's an IOS... found out that son-in-law, 25 is and has been using drugs (cocaine specifically) but alcohol and pot set him off. He's managed to keep everyone clueless for the longest time (about 4 years). I'm terribly dissappointed with this young man. I've tried to help him with life skills and necessities since he was 17. He considers me his 'mom', as much as my daughter does. She doesn't deserve to live this way. She's afraid about everything he does and everywhere he goes and sometimes he doesn't come back for hours and hours. Or as what happened last night, he went to bed, they went to sleep and when she happened to awake at 2:30 a.m, she discovered him gone, along with her newly requested credit card. She looked up her account online and found 2 bar tabs, freaked out, called me, I get up, dressed and get over there right after him, he went home cause the card was cancelled, but he's done this time after time after time and she's fed up with dealing with it. It would hurt so much to have him ejected from the family, but they have no insurance now, both unemployed and with a 10 month old baby.
His self esteem is at rock bottom, her patience is there too. I'm pretty sure she's decided to file for divorce, but that would mean her moving home with us. I don't know what to do with their furniture or pets. So sad. The economy hurts in more ways than one. SUXXXXX.
~Connie
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Connie - Has he, or will he, consider rehab?
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Hi all,
Man, so much suckage going on. It SUCKS!!!! I'm sorry for everybody going through so much crap. So sorry. I've missed you gals. I've said it before, reading about other people's probs helps. Bitter sweet.
I know so many kids right now that are throwing their lives away because of drugs. ((hugs))
My sister Kristi is doing okay now. Day 5 after her first chemo hit her hard. She called me crying. Gawd.....it was so painful hearing her, KNOWING what she is going through. We just cried and cried and cried. She wasn't around at all when I was going through it. I had people around me and she knew that. But, on the phone she was apologizing like crazy for not being there for me. And now, I'm not there for her.
She's better now. She had her second treatment on Monday. I told her it will get easier as far as knowing what to expect, it will still suck, but that first 'bad' day after your first treatment is freaking scary. I remember it like it was yesterday.
I love all you guys so much. Thank you all for asking about my Sister. I promise that when my laptop gets fixed, or I get a new one, I will stay in touch more often. For now, back to work.
Prayers for our falling sisters. Or, should I say rising sisters. Either way, it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Traci
PS: There is nothing like the real puppy love. (Or kitty love.)
PSS: The video on my Facebook page is me laughing at my OAOA's grown children hanging lights on the biggest Christmas tree I have ever seen in real life. lol. It was fun being home for the holidays. I miss home dearly.
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As I visit threads requesting prayer I want to scream - NO MORE! For those dear sisters who experience terrible pain I want to shout - KNOCK IT OFF. I tell my sister that this has to stop, we need a cure and she responds that tere are different kinds of cancer - it may take a long time to identify the different kinds of bc and I say DO IT. FIND A CURE FOR ALL OF THEM! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
Sorry for the rant but this whole bc is starting to really tick me off.
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Lots of suckiness -- sick fur-babies, troubled SIL, chemo SEs. But looking at Kathleen's doggie avatar always perks me up -- those button eyes!!! The sweet expression -- pick me up and cuddle me!! And I'm a cat-person!
I just have my usual suckiness, posted elsewhere so won't repeat here. I'm saddened by some of our sisters trying to get some mets progressions under control or nearing the end of their journey. I'm saddened when I read the fears of newly diagnosed women. Saddened that my own emotions are somewhat blunted -- I greet my scans with a ho-hum instead of anticipation of good or bad news. Blah.
But I had a very good day yesterday -- I got to meet Sharon51 and Mich_M for lunch! Nothing like 2 new friends who "get it". We had a blast!!
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Elizabeth, I know what you mean about the journey being over for some. I hate the "death watch" threads, but these are ladies I've known for over a year and it rips me apart. Brings it all home.
I panic when there is one and right now there are THREE that I have been following! I must admit, I do hate when I see people post "Hope we find a cure, soon!" on these laidies threads as obviously it is too late for them! I don't join threads of those I don't know as I am trying to stick to my upbeat threads (like this one! hehehe) and housework thread, and definition thread....
That SUX to all that have suckage!
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Oh I know what you mean Barbe -- the let's find a cure on a thread when someone's in hospice or in bad shape. That actually was a lot of the Stage IV gripe. Of course we all want a cure, but at some point you know it won't be nearly in time and such messages only hurt.
I looked at the definition thread and love it! I just can't come up with the witty things you ladies do so I just chuckle along. I like the 5 word story thread -- we're total pervs there! Anyway, I have some major suckage to post on the stage IV board, then a nap.
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The World Sucks....if it didn't we would fall off the planet. lol
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OK....more sucky news. Two of my ex sister-in-laws have been diagnosed with the Big C. One with BC and one with Lymphoma. Plus, a friend of mine who is a 10 year BC survivor and 3 year ovarian survivor had her CA 125 go through the roof. She had a CT scan that showed nothing and was having an MRI on her brain yesterday. Still no word from her... I hate this crap...I do , I do...
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And that's why I almost never visit THE threads... I just don't want to think about this. Better hide my head in the sand.
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I'm with you....back to the sand box...
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Nah. Misery loves company because no one could stand being in hell alone.*
Pardon my paraphrasing. I think we come to the boards because, well, especially on this one - and no offense to the others that do - we're not sharing recipies. We're seeing that cancer has not been eradicated, arrested, or subdued. We're real, and it is too.
There are pet people, and non-pet people. The worst thing a pet person can encounter is a bunch of unsympathetic folk who think little to nothing of our furry friends and companions.
It saddens me deeply to read about Connie07's son in law's affect on her life, his own life, her daughter's life, and their baby's future. Love isn't happening from a heart for giving and sacrificing from her son-in-law because he appears to be taking care of himself first. You don't have to be blood related to see people like this in your life. I don't know how long her daughter and the baby's future can depend upon his past, and Connie07 has been more than supportive. She can't make him (or anyone else) change. Neither can any of us.
I don't like the danger that self-destructive people put others in. When I heard about drinking and drugs in high school, I got mad. I thought, "Waaaait a minute. I have to handle my problems without a temporary escape. Why are YOU better than me?" Okay, I was an odd teenager, but that is what I thought. I thought they were getting away with doing "life" unfairly. Well, I was wrong. By self-medicating, they were wrong, too.
None of us "wanted" Traci...T...'s sister to have to experience any cancer. It was soul smushing (worse than crushing) to hear how they cried and cried and that the sister apologized for not being there for Traci... T...., and now the sister knows so much more first hand. That teaches us all to have compassion for illnesses, if we want to learn that valuable lesson. If you turn your back on a burning house, it doesn't stop burning, okay?
I'm with kmccraw423. I have "want to scream and holla" times. I usually bundle them up, ship ‘em upstairs, and ask for better understanding. If I'm miffed at someone, I work it out within myself until I have neutral words to speak with and draw out the problem. Yes, it's faster and easier to yell and get your point across. People that know me don't know me for an angry personality. I don't want to be remembered for as an angry one. (Just my own self-decision there.) ... ah! No "past tense" there in my words. I don't intend on goin' nowhere's soon.
I can relate to konakat. Blah toward test results. Phone ‘em in, and leave a message on my machine. Oh, you're a doctor's office and can't do that? Okay. I'll call you back when I get home. Waiting by the phone all day SUXS.
Death and pain SUX big time.
That's over and above the cup of SUXage, for smithlme. I'll have two ex-sister-in-laws some day. (That's an inside joke about my brother, sorry.) Return of disease SUX. Anything wrong with anyone's brain SUX. I too, hate multiple IOS.
* And, so, leprechaun, that was my answer when I began reading threads since my last visit, starting with yours. I'm not going to stop coming here. I felt so SUXy two nights ago that I wrote a post and never posted it. Even if I can't "fix" it, I can always pray for them. There are "them" all over the world.
Peace to you a big {{HUG}}
-sessna1
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Thanks for the wise and understanding words, Sessna1 and anyone else whos had to deal with drug and alcohol abusing people in their lives. It still scares the hell out of me. this past week was the worst yet. I was called to their house at 3 a.m. and dressed and went driving over there. He had done it again, taking money from her and getting high. Coming home drunk with attitude.
Now, we know that all her diamonds and gold are gone. Pretty much everything of value is gone. Found out that he went to his stepmother and she gave him Valium, which he sold. He hasn't been home for almost a week. It was a terrible week full of fear and double checking everything. Not leaving the house unoccupied and locking her and the baby in at night. We've changed the locks, she's told him not to come back. We have to wait til Tuesday to file anything legal cause of the MLK holiday, but DD is going to get a protective order and follow whatever advice we get from the court. then she's filing with DFCS to be able to maintain the home for another month and then she and the baby will most likely be moving home to me and Pop. We have a small home, but we'll make room. It's a lot of work and a lot of crap to move, but whatever it takes for your kid, you know?
I saw him this morning and he was nice enough, I've asked him to come over and talk to me and dh,, he said he would, we will see. I called his poor ole dad yesterday and filled them in on what's been going on, they had to know. We don't do this parenting thing alone. Even though his parent's have a truckload of their own issues, they needed to know. They housed and fed him last night. They believed his lies, because they want to.
This is not looking to be a positive change. Although, my heart says he's my boy, he's not by blood, only because I let him into my life. I can't stand what we are going to do, but he's really left no other choice.
You are right, I can't change him. He has got to want to do it on his own, for himself and his family that he says he loves. He knows what he's doing, he knows what he's choosing.
In other items of S. DD # 1 has gotten herself into trouble. Has 2 dui charges and has court on Thursday. It's all going to state court. I'm SICK in my heart for the penalties she will face, but, again, she's 29 and has made these choices.
I worked really hard to raise my kids with morals, scruples, goals. They were doing pretty good til the economy fell out and they became unemployed, unexpectedly, unpreparedly. Nothing can prepare you for poverty and need. No one teaches you what to do. This is a new world order for sure, the next generation will face things we never dreamed of.
thanks for being here. I need you more than even I know.
Connie
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Dearest Connie -- you're a great Mom and probably one of the best MILs around. As you said, you raised your kids with morals, scruples and goals. You went above and beyond in trying to teach these things to you SIL. Your kids have a very strong foundation, built by you, and now that they're adults, what they do with that foundation is up to them. I know it pains you when you see some bad choices or bad things happen beyond your and your kids' control. I know there's a lot of turmoil right now, things look very grim, but please remember that when the dust eventually settles you kids will find strength in this foundation. It will pull them through. Just like when a hurricane passes through a town, it is always the foundations that remain to be built upon again. I know these are just words, but I mean every one of them. You and your family will get through this. Hugs,
Elizabeth
xox
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Connie, don't knock yourself around, it is very often a nurturing women who wants to "save" the lost soul that will marry someone like your SIL. Parts of us all still believe that love conquers all....
As for your DD with the DUI...sigh...
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Connie...I'd be happy to have a mother that cares, offers advice, is there when I needed her, provides guidance, love and support.
I hope all else is well ladies. I have been laying low doing what the doctor says. They are debating the next step...and since I haven't a clue, I'll wait to see what they thing and decide whether I agree or whether I feel it's time to try another center.
Continued prayers for my sisters her and those in Haiti still struggling to overcome.
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Good morning. I am so sorry to hear about all the suckiness. A couple of things - an old friend of my aunt lost her husband to lung cancer on Sunday (he certainly wasn't one of my favorites but he was a person). So our friend is mourning. By now she is 80 or so and he was about 85.
A true suckiness is that my sister's roommate's mother died Monday. She was 91 or 92 and had lived with her daughter and my sister for the last ten years. She was such a hoot and so dear and loved by all. I will miss her.
Connie - Major suckiness. My goodness, you have a lot on your plate. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. You have to do what you are doing - go on with your life. Drugs and alcohol take a toll on whatever or whoever they touch. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Navygirl - Did the doctors tell you to just rest? When will they get back to you?
To all our sisters in Haiti - such a tragedy.
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Connie - I am just sitting here thinking about you and decided you needed this:
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Hey, gutsy women! And a bit THAT SUX to you all.
I've missed you all. Have been dealing with my usual, boring, pain in the butt nonsense these last few weeks. So,after a chest X-ray, a chest CT scan & a pulmonary function test, I'm told I have scar tissue on the outside of my right lung, on the pleural covering, which is from radiation. I do not have any fibrosis or scarring inside the lungs, but my asthma, which had only bothered me for maybe 10 minutes a year and not at all for the 3 years before radiation, is worse now than ever & bothers me every day & constantly. I am still fatigued, but maybe a smidgen better, and as of this week, I have cut my work schedule from 4 days a week to 3, and it was heavenly not to have to go to work today. So, there's some hope...details are on my blog.
Navy, I'm so sorry about Bailey. My dog just turned 15 & I just try not to think about losing him after all this time. Has the thyroid med been adjusted yet? Has it helped? How are you, my friend? What's the latest on your own health stuff?
Julie50, congrats for being deported!!
Traci, it must be so painful to watch your sister going through this, but you are the perfect person to help her through her own journey. I hope it's not too awful for her. There's no way to avoid the awfulness altogether, but at least she has one person who completely understands what it's like, and as we all know, that's a huge help, especially to our sanity.
Connie, hugs to you, Sistah, for all the crap your son-in-law is putting you through.
Smithlme, sorry to hear about your sisters-in-law. I hate ever having to 'welcome' new members to this club.
Kathleen, hugs to you.
Sessna, hi there lady! Barbe, Harley, rock, otter, Elaine, konakat, everyone, hugs to you all. If anyone else is on FB, PM me & let me know who you are there.
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Kathi - I didn't want to take up space on Saint's thread so I am going to do it her -
There are called "killer" bunny slippers:
Love you!
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