Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Even the "good" kids are capable of pulling stupid stunts. Especially when in the company of friends.
Make sure that you wake your son early this morning, keeping the household bright and noisy, to allow him to feel the full force of natural consequences of his actions last night. There is no deterrent to future alcohol use like a screaming hangover.
Once he's sober and feeling better, talk to him. Was this a fun night with friends that got out of hand? Is he worried about you? Is he aware of your husbands activities and worried about what will happen to him if you break up? Is there something else bothering him?
Make sure that he is fully aware of any family members with a drinking problem. That is something that seems to run in families. It is time for that young man to know and understand his risk level for that if there is one.
Most importantly, forgive him. We all make mistakes, hopefully he will learn from this one.
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It IS a kind of "coming of age" act....
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I agree, especially about making him feel the hangover. When my oldest did this the first time, I was up all night with worry, calling hospitals and police with no results. I've found that if there is no news then they are generally alright. Having another parent bring him home was incredibly fortunate. It could have been SO much worse. And if you need examples, I have them. I got thru those years with 3 teenagers in the house with that as my mantra. "It could have been worse". Since it wasn't the Worst... you have the gift of opportunity to help him by listening and asking questions and providing the best answers you can.
Man, I wish I'd had you guys then. It's a very alone feeling, but you are the parent therefore you must find the reserves to handle this in such a way that he won't be wanting to act out again any time soon.
Good luck, ask us anything.
~Connie
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I agree, especially about making him feel the hangover. When my oldest did this the first time, I was up all night with worry, calling hospitals and police with no results. I've found that if there is no news then they are generally alright. Having another parent bring him home was incredibly fortunate. It could have been SO much worse. And if you need examples, I have them. I got thru those years with 3 teenagers in the house with that as my mantra. "It could have been worse". Since it wasn't the Worst... you have the gift of opportunity to help him by listening and asking questions and providing the best answers you can.
Man, I wish I'd had you guys then. It's a very alone feeling, but you are the parent therefore you must find the reserves to handle this in such a way that he won't be wanting to act out again any time soon.
Good luck, ask us anything.
~Connie
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the best is to cook up bacon and then fry some eggs in the grease, put it on the plate with grease floating and ask him if he's hungry. nothing like making a hangover so uncomfortable that they never want to do it again. I hope your talk with your son works out okay. It sounds like he's a good kid that just made a poor decision at the moment.
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When my 2nd DD came home under the weather, I deposited her in her bed with a bucket beside her and left the room. The next am I woke her about an hour after normal, she rolled over and groaned. The only thing I asked her, while checking out the bucket and noticing a goodly quantity in the bottom, was 'did you learn anything?' and walked away. Later that day she came to me and apologised for her bad descision. I made sure that everything was as normal as possible while making it known that I still expected her to do her normal chores hangover or not. No quarter was given. While she lived at home, the incident was never repeated. Luck? I don't know, I like to think she really did learn a lesson. Parenting is no picnic and regardless of their mistakes we still love them unconditionally........I wouldn't have it any other way. Supportive hugs with love coming your way. chrissy
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My Dad was at a hunt camp once and they drank it up pretty good the night before. The next morning one guy just wouldn't get out of bed. So they poured a beer into a "bed pan" and floated some cooked sausages in it and took it in to him for breakfast in bed. His feet didn't touch the ground on the way out of the lodge and they didn't see him for hours! hheehehehehehehe
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As some of you know, my 17yo son went off the deep end with pot after my dx - ended up first in pysch ward, then suspended from school and finally arrested. And this was the one I didn't worry about. He's mostly come out of it, although it's been a hard time. Not what I wanted to deal with during this past 6 months. But it could have been worse, as Connie says. He's survived, so far, and so have I. My most prevalent emotion has been resentment, though, and I have to leave THAT behind now.
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Okay, my other post got removed too! The word "bitch" is in the title of this thread, so I just changed the D word. I wish whoever was doing it would have the MATURITY to PM me!!! Here is my original post!
OMG, I never thought of it as my fan club members having done that! Huh, and one of their names starts with B as in Bitch and another is D like in D*khead. That's enough bitching for now, but Brie, please know that you are not alone.... unfortunately there are more men around like your husband than you'd care to guess. Big {{{{{{{{{{ HUGZ }}}}}}}}}}}} sweetie!
There is no reason for this post to be removed and if it is then I'm going to start naming names!
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Barbe...people like that take great pleasure in irking you, don't pleasure them! All of us here know the deal, and clearly -if they didn't remove any other posts then they only came to visit you. Forget 'em, they are not worth it. ****now, as for your story; I almost p'd my pants when I read that. I now know where you get YOUR sense of humor!
Bookart ~ I hope you can let go, kids are pretty good at picking up on the unspoken and it's a hard time for all of you - prayers that you all come through this better for it. It sucks for all those involved when we get diagnosed.
Lisa ~ how is ds feeling? I hope yesterday was hell enough to teach him the lesson but not so bad that he's still feeling it today!
Off to get ready to go see a couple movies, no point in running our AC all day watching movies when we can go do it at the theaters - it's probably cheaper that way!
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Good point navy, there's a lot of "abusive" language on this thread and those of us who post often know that. I guess those other women wear "little girl" panties!
As for AC I think that's brilliant! My DH and I haven't turned our AC on in 6 years! We went to a hotel ONCE in all that time. We also haven't turned our furnace on in the same amount of time! We have a Regency gas fireplace and it heats the house good enough for us. Now we're selling the house. What are the odds that either appliance will work?
So Navy, let us know what you see and rate it for us! You can be our in-house film critic. That's if you're not just going there to make out
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I wish I could wear little girl panties...
sigh
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I don't think I've ever worn little girl panties...lol...lol
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I personally didn't find anything offensive about your post. I talk like that all the time. The F word comes out of my mouth a whole lot more than it should. I do try to watch it around my grandkids, but that's it.
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We ALL use that word because it is effective! Even those who don't say it outloud are really saying it inside...maybe real deep, but still, I'm just sayin'.....hehehhehee
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Especially younger people. Some of those words seem to be the way they have learned to communicate and that's just sad. I don't curse a LOT and I try to not use the F word, but every now and then, along with the days language it happens to come to mind. We have made a lot of agreements in 35 years together, one of them was not to curse AT each other. particularly not use GD all over the place. Sh!t that's hard, F*, every time you try to stop, it's Fing this or Fing that. Quick slips are difficult to avoid if you've invited them into your vocabulary.
If we have to play nice, I'm not playing. I come to rant. I enjoy this escape, look forward to it everyday, but I'd be just as happy without the curse words unless something is SIGNIFICANTLY improved by cussing in the telling. know what I mean?
We are making a concerted effort to avoid those expletives around the baby, as she is picking up everything we say and most of what we do. It's horrifying sometimes!!! Especially when one of the older, single, still cussing a lot kids comes to visit. . . . . sssshhhhhhh you.
But using it in here is perfectly acceptablel. This is FREE SPACE and should not be censored by the moderators, unless it's completely out of context and directed at a member, then we should be left to censor ourselves.
The panties came with the dx.
my crap to follow...needed to comment on the cussing train.
~C
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Sometimes, words fail me. That's when I resort to using foul language and cuss words. If anyone has earned the right to use those f***ing words, I think that we have. The fact that the word bitchy appears in the forum topic tells me that there is a possibility that some language might just appear in our posts. Members do not have to follow the posts here if they are offended by words.
I agree with Connie, unless it is out of context or directed at another member, we should be free to express ourselves in any way that we see fit. We are all adults here, aren't we?
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My turn to let loose. First off, I must give a background on my middle dd. She has an auditory processing disorder to where language (written & spoken) take a moment to get processed in her brain. She is 18 and a very smart girl.. Because of this, she has been on the fringes of school's society and has not been involved with other kids (they always thought that she was weird - actually heard that being described about her)!. Her last sleepover that she attended was over ten years ago when she was 8. Well last night she went over to a "friend's" house to attend a birthday sleepover. Well someone took advantage of her and stole her money right out of her wallet during the sleepover. She is sooooo upset. She actually told me that she thinks that she won't ever get over this. It just breaks my heart and I don't know what to do. I'm just so PISSED for her that the opportunity for her to have a lasting memory turns out this way.
Ok thanks for listeining.
T.
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Prayrv,
I have a 'different' DD, too. Years ago, when she was about 12-13, she had a birthday party to which she invited her class mates. Of the few who accepted the invitations, not many turned up. We made the numbers greater with the attendance of our family. Some guests gave her wrapped gifts and others gave her money. One of DD's class mates gave her $5 which she took out of her pocket. Before the party was over, the class mate asked me if I would give her $5 for a taxi home. Having spent my last $ five minutes before the party and not wanting to ask DD for one of her gifts to give back to the giver, I told the girl I would drive her home when she was ready. Involved with the games and such, I forgot about it all. As people started to leave, I looked for the class mate to take her home. She was gone! I figured she had decided to walk home, the same way she arrived.
DD was in her room looking through her gifts and came out to ask me if I had seen her money 'gifts.' We looked everywhere, but ALL the money gifts were gone. I couldn't accuse the girl outright without proof, but we all knew she took it. I replaced the money for my daughter, but I was a very cynical mother after that day, especially where class mates were concerned.
Regarding the cussing.............My DD spent a year in a home for crippled children at 10 yrs of age. Most of the children there would never get better i.e. they were born with extreme physical handicaps, or had acquired them due to car accidents etc,. My DD had acquired brain damage but had a healthy body. She could be made better with physio, speech and occupational therapy. When my DD first went there she could barely talk, let alone swear/cuss. By the time she left, she would have made a sailor proud. That is one of the few places on earth where, I believe, the occupants had the right to use strong language.
This thread is another..............if we can't let off steam here, then this is not a supportive forum.
Nuff said!
Sheila.
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I will say, I do NOT use the Lord's name in vain...or Jesus' for that matter. That's the spritual side of me, the other words are just combinations of letters. That's all they are, combinations of letters. Sheesh!
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Sheila,
I'm very cynical too (which really is hard to deal with, as I am also very trusting - a bad combo if you ask me). Luckily the $ wasn't hers, I had lent it to her in case they went out. I suppose it's a life lesson to learn for our children, but it still sucks.
Here's my take on cussing - After my last dd was born via emergency c-section, as I was coming out of the anesthesia (sp), my dh told me that I was cussing a blue streak. I was soooo embarassed! I don't mind cussing when it calls for it, but I would really like to remember it!
Hugs to all.
T.
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Prayrv, there is an expression, "when you squeeze the toothpaste tube, what was inside comes out."
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I remember when I was in hospital after my mx and obviously drugged up on something.
During the night I could hear all the bells for assistance....
The nurse who was checking on me said that I was asleep but sat up and yelled out "what the f*@# is that noise" and then laid back down to sleep.
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Hello ladies! What a few days we've had here in the DC area...we lost power and cable on Sunday, which is why you haven't seen my respond! We did get to see Inception -which was FANTASTIC...I was a bit skeptical when I saw it was almost 2 1/2 hours long, but it was so good you didn't feel like you were there that long. We didn't get to see Salt...we decided to run a couple of errands before those storms were supposed to hit and I'm glad we did - if we hadn't, the fur kiddies would have had to do without dinner! It took us almost 4 hours to clean up the tree limbs and debris.
You can bet I was cussing like the sailor I used to be that day!
Not much time, it's back to work today (we were shut down yesterday) and since I was in class all week last week, I am sure I have a ton of stuff waiting for me!
Rock on!
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has anyone tried to talk to admin about the discriminating way things r getting deleted?saw that on another site, which i no longer go to becasuse of the haters.. i still think nasmes should be said, youre just more spiritual thasn im even trying to be these days.. i need to rant today. i just am so mad at my situation.!! on most days im dealing with 1 having ms, and 2 having b.c. and they dont work together, at all.. so, sunday night i wake up in apool of blood, for the 2nd time in my life !! u guessed it, dblmax. was the 1st time. this was to clean up from that surgery, and again, off to the er... so, they steri strip me together, go to ps next day..he doesnt even really look says yup, stitches let go. started bleeding AGAIN last nite. hubby went out n got butterflys, im just gonna do it myself..AM worried ill end up with MRSA like last time, but no dr, will test me w/out temp. i didnt even run one in hosp. WITH dx. mrsa..im so angry i could spit. am taking old presc. i left to fill last time, and waiting for the dr. who "Knows" to come back from vacation... i hope we just dont let it get so bad i end up with a picc line, like last time.. dear god, when will this end...well, its the last surgery, so lets just hope..please pray, ladies, i sooo dont want a picc line again.. on the top of all of it, my oldest son, the only one who HAS kept up with me, is just too burned out to deal with me right now...now that i cant babysit, coincedentally; well, whatever..maybe when i heal from this, i can show up over there myself, and grab some fischer and finley time... im so brokenhearted with the 3jays, but, i m attempting to back off for awhile. he's gone a year not speaking to me, avoiding phone calls, etc..so, im trying not to force anything..the problem is, the worse i feel emotionally, the more i want to reaffirm life w/grankids. guess i'll have to put on big girl panties now, wont i? thanks for listening. hoping tommorrow will be better, might i hope for tonite? lightand love..hah 3jaysmom
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ 3jaysmom }}}}}}}}}}}
I have been talking to the Moderators about this and have told them the names. I had the same problem about this time last summer too! They said to just use symbols. I said there's a guy called Bernicky who's recent thread spells the f-word right out and ends with 'ing!! How is it that HE gets to say it and I can't?
arrrrrrrghhhhhh
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(((3jays))) That really sucks...I hope they take care of you soon, that's a bit much to put on you right now...
Barbe...it's all political...just like work, which today, is driving me crazy!!! I really hate dealing with people who are numbskulls!!!!!! GGGGGGRRRRRRRR. Can't wait for today to be over :P
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SOI...comcast is finally back up so I have the internet again....Yah!!!
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So....according to husband, I am driving myself "into being a very lonely woman because of my nonsense." What I found on his computer were "pop ups and viruses." and what difference does it make since I have "no interest in him sexually?" "I'll take care of me. You take care of you." "You get what you give." He's "tired of it all resting on his shoulders." He says I need to "see a therapist." He's getting close to "throwing in the towel." I didn't tell him that the last 3 therapists I did see told me that he was half my problem and that I should leave him. Everything was thrown back at me because I had a one-night stand 22 years ago (we've been married 27) and I "became an alcoholic and drug addict" after my mom died because I got hooked on prescription pain pills. I've been clean for 5 years. So, now I feel like crap and it's my fault.
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Ah Jane, now you're "letting" him push your buttons! Get thee away from him, post haste!!!!!
I've "known" you for almost 2 years and you're not really happy with him. Why NOT dump him? Huh????
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