Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

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  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    leisaparis;

    Thank-you for helping me with some of this radiation stuff. I am also very light skinned and was a little worried if I would burn or not. My radiologist recomended Jeans cream and I have only applied twice and it worked so much better than the Aquafor I was given previous. I am having trouble locating your pictures I would really like to see what I maybe up against. Yes God has already blessed me with people who are willing to help.

  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    I posted my diagnosis but there was no place to put that it was also invasive moderate to poorly differentiated ductal carcinoma.I don't quite know what that means .

  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 567
    edited August 2010

    (((Ellie))))

    Sessna, you are toooooooo much!!! You should write a book. 

    Hugs everybody.

    Traci

    PS:My sister is going out of town, again. It was assumed that I would take care of her house/animals, again. I had plans for the last weekend of the month. Deep sigh."Sense of obligation" is a bitch. Now I know how all you Mommies feel. Undecided

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326
    edited August 2010

    Ellie, If you go to the top of the page, to the forum box...bring down the drop down box, find Surgery-before,during and after. When you click on it, it will bring up another list. Towards the bottom of the page, find April 2010 Mastectomy. Click on it and @ the middle of the page are my pictures. It will look bad, but remember, they used a bolus on me, every day, to keep it at the top of the skin. It only lasted @ 2 weeks or so and was cleared up by using sylvadine cream. I applied it like 10x a day. Didn't really hurt much. Just looked really bad. Hope you don't have to go through it, but if so, it is very doable. Good luck (((hugs))) & God Bless. Leisa

  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    Leisa, Wow it looked like it must of really hurt, even though you said it looked worst than it felt . I asked the rad. nuse to show me bolus, and that must of been uncomfortable for it was kind of on the heavy side to have it put on the breast area. I am so glad you are over that part of your life now. I will keep you in my prayers to stay cancer free and well also.

    God Bless you and thanks for sharing.

    EllieWink

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326
    edited August 2010

    You're welcome, Ellie and like I said for me it really didn't hurt that much. Just looks really,really bad. Of course maybe that's just me. I have a very high pain tolerance. I didn't really have any pain from the surgery either. The most pain I've had the whole time was from the under arm area where they removed the lymph nodes. Getting that area streatched back out and useable. Have a good day ladies. (((Hugs))) to those who need it.  Leisa

  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    Leisa, Well, it sounds so familiar I mean your pain tolerance being high as mine is also. I just had my 10 th rad and I am doing well so far. Little tired, little pink but other than that doing great. Take care and may God Bless You.  Ellie

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2010

    Hi everyone!  My dad just left Sunday after being here for a week (visiting from out-of-state for first time since my surgery)  It was great to see him, but we spent the entire week working on sorting through his storage unit in 100+ temperatures.  I was beat all week.  I took the week off and everyone keeps asking how my vacation was!  HA!  Then today, on my day off this week, I was moving some stuff and threw out my back - OW, OW, OW! - a trip to the ER and a nice bill and another trip to the back doc coming.  Am I having fun YET?!  Just my "this sucks!" for the week. 

    One of the big things about the sorting last week was going through my mom's stuff.  I found her medical records of her dx, and old letters, etc.  I didn't know, for instance, that her first cousin's cancer also started in the breast - that's four (including me) from the same family, that had bc - plus a colon cancer and a stomach cancer.  And yet I'm BRCA negative - gotta be another gene in the mix somewhere.  Also, it scared me to read her dx and see the same dx and the same "you're fine now" kind of treatment from the doctors.  I asked my dad, and he said they never found any more cancer in her breast, and yet despite her dx of DCIS, it came back in four years in the bones and brain and killed her.  I'm trying to not focus on this but I did realize that my dx and surgery has had a much bigger impact on me than I thought, and that I'm still very scared and angry.  My poor stepsons have borne the brunt of it, too!  I apologized yesterday.  I've talked to several people about it and they say this happens - the fear and anger will keep popping up over the years.  Argh!  I don't want to live my life that way, but I also can't be a pollyanna and just pretend everything's great.  I just keep plowing ahead and trying to deal without being too much of a B***CH.  Thanks for letting me vent.Frown

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited August 2010

    ATTA GIRL, We muddle through. Taking it one day at a time. I have deep sympathy for anyone who has thrown her back out. OMG it hurts SO BAD. I wish I could find the kind of information and support that you find in here - I wish I could find one for Back Pain cause it's just miserable being me sometimes. I got an injection about a month ago and hoped for a miracle. Alas, it was for naught. The pain has returned and the past two days I've had Dizzy feelings and feel like crap. So fatigued I can hardly get anything done and then I open this and read Sessna1's post about how she was Dizzy and thats what led to her fall and more injuries. ... I see, this is how the universe works, IF YOU'RE DIZZY AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS, then get someone to drive you to a doctor... Tomorrow. I called today but no one returned my call. I'll call again in the morning, but if I sleep in it's because I need it and I do not want to set the alarm when I don't have to. And I don't want any more medical bills. EVERY TIME there is a medical visit there are multiple bills with many co-pays for alll kinds of services I was unaware of.

    Frustrated in August. I HATE AUGUST.

    rant over for tonight, thanks for listening,

    Connie

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited August 2010

    hey ladies.. its August..the hottest month, and here we all are wounded and broke..i love that , connie im clapping my hands here in sunny so. Fla. just out of hospital for mrsa from surgery to clean up 1st surgery..ya just cant win.. bookart, what will you be doing for your back? i have a "hinkey' back from ms. and have to do all kinds os stretching for it.the old heat, ice, and sometimes a cortisone shot helps. sorry your didnt work, connie they got the wrong spot, maybe. happened to me omnce had to wait a month,, and marked the spot in pen fpr dr.  it worked.God bless, hope yu both will be better soon..light and love,  3jaysmom

  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 138
    edited August 2010

    Bookart, hope you feel better soon, thanks for explaining why I have been such a touchy b...ch for the last 2 weeks. I think  you might be on the money about internal anger over this bloody disease and it being august. YUK.  I have another rant but will save it for later when I am not so mad. lol  Darla

  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    bookart, I am also the same dx as you and your Mom. Was wondering if her PR,ER, and HER2 were + or -. Could that of had something to do with it coming back four years later into her bones, brain and OMG taking her away from you that must of been so painful for you to go through. Hope you feel better soon and try not to let your Mom's dx scare you for everyone is different. May God be with you through this horrible ordeal. What was your treatment for your dx? Ellie

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,204
    edited August 2010
    We interrupt this thread for a brief message:
    I'm tired and I can't sleep. %$# chemo! I want my life back!
  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2010

    Ellie - I had a bilateral mastectomy but nothing else - my DCIS was +/+, my mom's was at least ER-; don't know about the PR or HER2.  So that's a difference.  I'm heading to the back doctor today.  It's a bit discouraging, because I've been doing rehab/PT since Feb for my back - trying to build up my core again.  Hurting it means I'm not ready to go back to my regular work of lifting heavy things - I'm a sculptor.  Quite the bummer.  Gotta stop now and lie back down - back is killing me.

    Elaine

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited August 2010

    Oh ladies...what a sucky week it's been! Vacations that aren't really vacations, bills, insomnia, hot muggy weather back...ugh! Why, why, why???

    I hope all of you have a very relaxing, stress free, maybe -dare I say it -fun weekend!

    Hugs ladies...

  • EllieH7
    EllieH7 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2010

    Elaine,I will keep you in my prayers and pray everything start getting better for you all around.

    Have you ever tried ice on your back it seemed to help my back, when I was having issues.I will try to keep in touch with you as much as I can , as I am trying to work full time with the rads. I just had 12/33 . Over 1/3 done little sore and pink and yes a little tired as well.

    Ellie

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2010

    Thanks, Ellie - I am doing ice when I lie down.  Sounds like your rads are going well - keep up the good work!  And Sessna - It's unbelievably hard and expensive to eat well in this country - organic costs more, free-range costs more, good clean meat costs more - and it takes so much time to home-cook everything.  I don't do that great a job - I love to cook but I'm exhausted when I come home.  And when both boys are here, it's like living with vacuums - they suck every morsel up.  I try to fix enough for leftovers, and they take that as an invitation to have thirds.  So all these well-meaning people who tell me they cook on the weekends and then freeze the leftovers can just kiss my patootie.  I don't HAVE leftovers.  I have TEENAGERS.  Thank goodness one of them has just left for school and his first apartment.  I'm terrified.  He claims to know how to budget his money, but I can't help but worry - I know how last year went, and how often we had to bail him out financially.  So I'm singing the teenager blues.

    Elaine

  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 934
    edited August 2010

    Bookart...just a quickie thought for you dilemma with food and teens that might work.  When my dh was dx with Sugar problems we had to cut down on his servings big time as he liked 2nd and thirds of some things also.  My way to help that was to put the amount I needed for leftovers for another meal into the container for the fridge and remove it from the stove top/counter.  Out of sight, out of mind type of thing.  It helped us both.  Just a thought.  Or when cooking chicken or such, before I served the meal, i'd remove the extra for lunch or dinner next and/or the freezer and then they were never seen as the current meal availability :)  Just a thought.

     Good luck..teens boys and GIRLS seem to sniff out food from where ever it is hidden :) 

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2010

    Thanks!  That's a great idea, Wish.  They don't usually explore the tupperware - if it's not store bought microwavable or hot on the stove, they don't know what to do with it.  I hide my pudding cups in the fruit drawer, if you get my drift.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited August 2010

    Just stopped in to say Hello! I'm fighting a summer cold and have been rather run down so I am taking it easy and going to bed early the past 4 nights...school starts next week -and I have my certification classes for work still going on, so it's going to be an interesting ride for the next 4 months...I so wish I had just gone to college after high school instead of joining the Navy...Undecided

    Be well you guys...August is almost over with and I hope -it's taking all the hot, volitile weather with it!!

    (((hugs)))

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2010

    Navy, look at it this way, you're getting paid to go to school. Hugs on the cold thingy!

    If I put an elastic around something, my boys considered it too much hassle to open. I did that with a bag of pretzels once and was amazed they didn't disappear and that's when I found out the "secret"!

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited August 2010

    i dont really feel like ranting tonite, but rather sad. very frustrated. got released from wound care today; its still red and swollen, but wounds closed. i was supposed to see ps, but havent made appt. im so angry with him not listening to me!! they said it was lifethreatening like, big time, because he let it go for 3 wks !! Hospital also sent me home 1se visit. i just dont know who to trust anymore. gp took blood yesterday. he's frustrated. he doesnt use hosp. i do, with the cancer center, but a private ritzy hospital that we cant afford.. not like we can afford mine. thank God its ciounty, and has to take me even if i cant afford to pay.. co pays alone keep us broke.i have to figure out a new team.. my gp is out of the loop, my onco refused to see me to draw blood, just to ck.. she could have saved me two weeks. someone on the other thread said oncos are only for chemo..i thought they were front line in our defense.. this was recon, fixing cancer... it didnt quilify. if that's true.. im dead meat, ill have to start all over again.  they act like im such a bother.  i feel like giving up...3jays

  • PatMom
    PatMom Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2010

    3jaysmom, frustration is exhausting.  Hope you got a good night's sleep in your own bed and are feeling better this morning. 

    I look forward to a good rant when you are feeling up to it... you've earned it!

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited August 2010

    3jaysmom, You need to find a decent Primary Care Physician who works with the hospital you need to use. I get so upset when someone doesn't get the care they deserve because of bureaucratic or political games. They play with peoples lives and thats just wrong. When you feel better, stand up for your fight and make them look you in the eye. Meantime, I would suggest keeping all your records in "date of service" order so that you will know what has happened and where and what the results are. I have had to do that and it's a darn good thing I did. The hospital has come back on bills and co=pays that I paid in 2007. I'm like, WTF???? If I didn't keep my bills, insurance statements and receipts together I wouldn't be able to fight them, it seems like everything, everyday is another battle of some sort. Whether it's our grown up kids needing a lot of things to these old bills being re billed again. The fight is not only for your life. It's for your quality of living AND to not double pay ANYTHING. I got so frustrated after all the treatments were over and I had bills from places I didn't even know existed. I didn't like paying attention to all that paperworkk but I'm glad I didn't throw it all in a box and trash it. Now, I'm glad. 

    Just when you thiought things couldn't get much worse. . . A thunderstorm rolls through and a great big limb from the Old Oak tree falls - Dives - and goes clean through the roof, attic and ceiling of a bedroom. My car had a flat. Son drove 26 hours straight thru coming home from Colorado. Soon 2be EX son in law stirred things up just by making a phone call and I have a bad sinus infection that has blocked up both ears. As soon as the universe discovers that I'm not sick somehow it throws something else at me.

    AND WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE PEOPLE??? YA'LL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE BITCHING AND MOANING SO I CN READ SOMEBODY ELSES CRAP FOR A WHILE. Is everybody on vacation before school starts?? I skipped my vacation this year cause I'm BROKE. And wasn't someone gonna call Clean House and Yard Crashers for me?? WELL??? can't catch a break. figures.

    bummer.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2010

    Ah Connie, I'm not getting a vacation this year again, either! But at least this year I'm moving during my vacation! Booked vacation in January (as we have to) when I had no intention of moving. Discovered roof needed redoing badly, can't afford it, so put the house up for sale and we're moving! Greaaaaaat, just what I needed. 3 months of making my bed and keeping house spotless and now a month of packing and then 6 months of unpacking. How DOES that equation work like that? Anyway, another chance to purge I suppose. It's been 6 years in this house, 8 years in this town, so time to move on.....sigh.

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2010

    It was cooler here in Tejas this week, so I can't b***ch about that; my back is getting better under the enslaught of steroids and muscle relaxers; number one son with the big appetite has gone off to school, so my grocery bill went down; number two son is back in school to finish, this time, if fighting with his gf doesn't send him off the deep end again; and partner has stabilized on hormones so home life is pretty sweet.  Work is stressful, as always, but even it has been more laid back this past two weeks - so I don't have any ranting to do - I don't want to apologize, either - I need some chill time, believe me!

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited August 2010

    thanks CONNIE for the advice. ive learned my lesson.. in treatmt last year, stuck all the bills in a plastic container. was at least smart enough not to pitch them.. now, am sorting & filing them by dates of service. when im in better shape, i will be talking to hospital admin. just not right now.  im so sorry your in the sh***.. moving is a pain, but exciting..after hearing meece talk about her pond, gardens, etc.. i finally found a place i'd like to move to.. HER house lol. hope all will go easier for you. i'm sure i'll be in ranting shape soon now. am waiting to hear pet scan results. not expecting to hear anything, but you always have a little niggle in the back of your brain... light and love,    3jaysmom

  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 932
    edited August 2010

    I've lived in the same house for the past 23 years.  Just the thought of moving terrifies me!

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited August 2010

    today is world cancer day.i just saw this on facebook.

    I PRAY FOR A CURE FOR CANCER.AMEN.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited August 2010

    Came to catch up...but turns out I'm to nauseaus to stick around...A BIG that SUCKS to anyone who needs it

    :(