Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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new to this thread, will come back later and get to know you all. I am very, very grumpy today. If I get another happy email wish, with balloons and kitties I will probably chuck my computer out the window.
Getting ready to put on my fake wig and meet my husband at Mexican for lunch. Maybe chips, fattening and so unhealthy cheese dip will make me feel better. Just wish my stomach could handle a margerita.
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Now there's an oxymoron.....fake wig! I LOVE it! ehehehehheheheh
Beacher, we could sense your anger in your ALL CAPS post!!! Come on, like Ruth said, let 'er rip! We can take it.
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OK, this will be my grumble moment. Though I really should be happy overall.
went for my follow up with the BS this am (had bmx on 2/16). My appt was at 11, waited a hour to get seen (which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, which is probably one of the reasons I am grumpy)
I find out that everything is great (final pathology came back clear). I was under the impression the BS only took out a couple of nodes, when I tell her that my right arm pit area is still quite sore. of course that is supposed to be "normal" I then ask how many nodes she took, well it turns out to be 5. Twice as many as anticiapted and realistlcallyy there was no reason to take more than one or two. the BS told me that the primary check during surgery showed "clear" (that was right after the surgery)
I am right handed and need my strength on that side (I handle & ride horses a lot) the BS knew that. I am just really annoyed that she risked my physical ability for nothing! I would feel differently if it was "suspective" or something on that order.
I am hoping that I will regain what I lost on that side form a mobility & strength,
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horse-n-around-
Not that it makes the loss of your lymph nodes any easier to bear, but the same sort of thing happened to me. I was told the surgeon would take out 1 or 2, and she ended up taking out 4. When I asked her why, she said that the tracer dye that they use to find your lymph nodes "lit up" 4 lymph nodes that were in the path of my tumor, so she had to remove all 4. None were positive for cancer, but they are still gone. I have not had any lymphedema problems so far, but I do have a compression sleeve that I wear when flying as a preventative measure. If you feel like you might be losing some strength or range of motion on that side, you can go see a physical therapist. I did, because I did have some loss of range of motion for awhile. I'm fine now.
Mary
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horse-n-around, I had 5 nodes taken when I expected 1 or 2, and the reason given was the same as YramAL heard: these 5 all took up the radioactive dye equally, so the protocol was to examine them all. It's a drag, but now (4 years later) my armpit, arm strength, range of motion, and sensitivity to touch all feel completely normal. And I'm not saying it took 4 years to get there, either! More like 6 months? The last thing to become "normal" was sensation -- I had areas of under my armpit and sort of around back to my back/shoulder that were numb when I ran my fingernail over them -- but not anymore. I second Mary's advice to see a physical therapist.
Wishing you the best of luck with this,
Ann
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I had 17 nodes out following 3 initial sentinal nodes (2nd surgery, one initial one was positive), this just several days before the study saying removing extra nodes not that benificial. Good news the rest where ok, bad news I have and arm PIT that I never will be able to shave normally again, such a deep dark hole. I sure hope the numbness at the back of arm improves, range of motion is ok, not sure about strenght, almost afraid to use this side, and worry everyday about LE. Glad to hear that there is a possibilty of regaining sensation. Ann, any signs when your sensation was coming back, did you do any extra massage or anything yourself.
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YramAL & AnnNYC, your posts are helpful, I figured the explaination would be something like that, I should have asked the BS, but I was so annoyed about sitting for over a hour for my appt, I really just wanted to leave! I don't really care if there is numbness, I just need my muscle strength & motion. I will give it some more time to heal as its only been 2 weeks and I guess if its not somewhat normal by summer I will have to see a PT. I really just need to be able to toss the 50# hay bales & saddle my horses.. They are pretty well behaved so not to much TUG-O -WAR goes on normally. I just really want to get back to Norm
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horse-n-around......I had 21 nodes removed, 2 positive. You will get it all back. I work in a window manufacturing plant. Lift windows all day ( 10 hr. shifts ) each weighing @ 50 lbs. Some more, some less. Others weighing more ( over 75 and up to 200 lbs ) I have to use the tilt table. No way I'm gonna try and lift those. I've been out @ 1 1/2 years now, just getting all the feeling back under arm and such. I had 2 surgeries though. I did have a little lymphodema at the start, wore a glove while working. Only had to do that for a few months. I rarely have any swelling now. Once in a great while if we have only big windows all night long. As long as we have a variety I don't usually have a problem. It just takes a little time. I did see a therapist who gave me a couple of leaflets with exercises on it to do daily. I did those in the beginning, now only if I'm having any swelling. I do still have tightness under the arm. Most of that is because they took out so many nodes. I do still have to stretch it out daily, but it works just fine. Hope this helps. Good luck. Leisa0
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christine47 -- I didn't do any special massage that anyone taught me. I did find myself running my fingernail over all the spots to see where I felt it and where I didn't -- have no idea whether that was therapeutic! Reminded me of when I was a little kid and a tooth fell out, I just couldn't stop sticking my tongue in the hole! As for signs that sensation was coming back -- I would get twinges, itches, little flashes of heat and pain -- I guess I would kind of rub and lightly scratch at those. As I said, I have no idea whether any of this was therapeutic -- it certainly did relieve the twinges, though, and the twinges seem in hindsight to have been a sign that sensation was coming back.
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If you consider that you have up to 30 nodes per level and there's 2 (3?) levels, it's a small amount. I'd want any that lit up to be taken out. You also get some taken out with the breast tissue during the mastectomy. They are intra or inter mammary nodes. The numbness is the same no matter how many come out. It's from them messing around in the first place to get at the node.
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Thanks Ann,
I will try this, almost feel like marking with a sharpie marker to see if there is any progress in the sensation, I do think I am a little less numb at the elbow than a few weeks ago. Did you worry about sleeping on that side?
Leisaparis, If you can lift those heavy windows, I will have faith that I can get back to my less physical job.
thanks!
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They also told me that they hit some nerves while they were in there. Didn't cut any but it would probable be a little while before I got all the feeling back. It is coming slowly. I too get twinges of pain and over time that is where I now have feeling back.
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I still have a numb pit. But I have sensation on the back of my arms again. Can't remember when it came back, I'm just over 2 years out.
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christine47, I think I did worry about sleeping on that side. I had a tissue expander for almost 8 months, and it was just too uncomfortable to sleep on that side -- since finishing recon (implant exchange, "fipple" a few months after that), gradually I've gotten more comfortable with trusting that it is healed and now feels like "me" and is okay to sleep on...0
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HI BARBE1958, I ALWAYS USE CAPS,WHEN I THINK OF IT. JUST CAUSE I CAN SEE THE LETTERS BETTER. BUT YA IM REALLY ANGRY ABOUT MY BREAST CANCER. TODAY IM JUST SO DARN TIRED I CANNOT VENT NOW EXCEPT FOR MOANING THAT IM ANGRY IM SO TIRED!!!!!!!!! MAYBE OVER THE WEEKEND WHEN I GET MY BREAK FROM RADS I WILL REALLY LET IT RIP .FOR NOW NITE NITE AND ITS ONLY3:45 P.M
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Hi Beacher and all the new ladies. YAY, newbies with sorting out needs. Welcome and bring it on... we love it when you vent.We will support you for YOU all the way. I vent all the time. so much happening all the time seems like. It's therapy on the keyboard. SLAM
Barbe - you're only TWO years out?? for goodness sakes, I thought you were an old-timer. I mean I thought, with your knowledge and experience that you were at least 4-5 years. for real. Tell me more about that shot. I think I looked up IC once with info from you and not sure what happened to that. I'm not letting this go this time. It's been entirely too damn long with these infections. If my PCP won't go there, my GYN will.
Tomorrow, I'm doing the lumbar epidural. And it's gonna cost less than $100. and that's the best price I've had in over 3 years. God, I hope it helps, and that it doesn't take me out for days.
I also have an appt, finally, with a back specialist, Ortho. In 3 weeks, to look at my neck. He agreed to give me a second opinion?? WTH? I asked for an appt. for a doctor to help me. I'll be going there with a list and making him or his staff answer all the questions. I carry my notebook everywhere, it sure comes in handy.
When I come back, I want to hear everybodies rants and vents. It is without a doubt that the surgeons think they are the Lords of the Hospital and, like, they dont want to tell you all the gory details, even when you really want to know. I ALWAYS want to know EVERYTHING. I even want to see the parts they removed. That's how I understand it the best. Years ago I had a UFO in my pelvis. Really. they did not know what it was but it was rather large, size of an egg. So they did an exploratory laparotomy to dig it out. It was a fibroid, outside the uterus. He removed an ovary and fallopian tube with it. Six weeks later at the follow up, I had a lot of questions and he said, "would you like to watch the video?", of the surgery!?!!! Heck YES. So he let me sit there and watch it. I was fascinated and understood why it hurt so much afterwards. Now, I know not everyone has the stomach for that, but when I say I want to know, I mean it. My BS was not forthcoming with information, nor was my rads onc. they seemed to want to shelter me from the graphic-ness and I truly wanted it. It seemed like a parody or a cartoon where the lead characters do the opposite of what is expected. YES, you BREAST surgeon, I'm talking about YOU. You think I'm an ignorant, piece of meat for you to cut on. Well, I'm NOT. And if I ever need cutting again, I'm doing all the research I can before it happens.
aaaaaaaahhh. that felt good.
So, here's to another Friday on the horizon. Hope it's a good one.
Nice to meet you all, or as we say in the south, Ya"ll.
Connie
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Connie I am so jealous I would have loved to see videos of my surgeries...hell I ranted and raved just to take my port home when it was removed and was DENIED because it was a BIOLOGICAL Hazard...WTH it's my biological hazard so what do they care if i take my crap home, I did pay for it!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! I am still pissed an it has been 3 months!
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HAHAHAHAHA What would you have done with that at home?
Do you ever watch surgeries on TV? Have you ever seen a breast reduction? Holy Cow what they do to human tissue!!! While its still connected. I'm still thinking about doing that but it scares me crazy.
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Beaches - thank goodness! I thought I was the only one that went to bed early due to being so tired! Some days I can make it thru Jeopardy, and then I'm done! Upstairs I go to my wonderful soft bed.
What shall we cut off that doctor that lied to you?????????? I bully my doctors up front so they'll know not to mess with me, HA!
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Connie, you won't be out for ANY time!!! You will walk out of the office and get on with your life. You can't drive yourself home, though, as they want to make sure you're stable. It will block the pain, but the pain can return and you don't know when. I remember the second it returned the first time; I was walking at work and as I swung my right leg forward the pain returned. So I went back for a second shot.
So, NO down time!!!
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As for knowing so much medical, I have SO many other issues than cancer that I usually know more than my PCP as he sends me on to specialists.
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HI EVERYONE, IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE BACK,LEGS,AND OANY OTHER BODY PARTS YOU ARE ALL HAVING PROBLEMS WITH?? IS THIS RELATED TO YOUR BC? IF SO ITS SCARING ME ME. I FEEL BAD YOU HAVE MORE THAN BC PROBLEMS
WHATS GOING ON? TAKE CARE P.S. I WIL BE VENTING SOON,JUST WAITING FOR A TIME WHEN I I GOT ALOT OF ENERGY....0 -
Beacher are you on Tamoxifen or other AI's? They cause joint and muscle pain....
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HiBarbe1958, I did not mean i am having them although i am having minor aches and pains, probably from non use and stress, i meant alot of the others on the thread are talking about different issues, with there bodies and im wondering if tits causes by bc? No im not taking tamoxifen or anything else and do not think i will be im not estrogen proceptor feeling pretty good right now and i only got 3 rads left but in aware the acumaltive stuff comes after pardon my spelling i got rad brain
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Hi Gals.....I was on Tamoxifen for 14 months....and I think because I am "older"....I have deafness from taking it! I go tomorrow for my hearing aids.... I have found at least 5 sites talking about deafness from Tamoxifen.... So no, I didn't have the muscle aches or pains...just issues with sleeping, but thought I was sailing through the 5 years of Tamoxifen. I stopped 2 weeks ago, but my hearing has not come back...they say nerve damage is permanent.
I know this is unusual, but I would like to complain, & maybe scream a little, because this is such a serious SE that it should be talked about, especially to older women. I used to post on the Tamoxifen thread, but I don't want to scare those gals, because it probably DOES help so many women.
I am thinking of taking Femara, but I'm scared to death...I go to the Oncologist on the 11th....I sent her all the info on Tamoxifen & hearing loss....I don't WANT to take anything....Are any of you that are older, taking those meds?
So yeah, I'm bitchy & I moan & groan, but maybe I'll be better when I can HEAR!!!!
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oh, chevy, it's been so long since I've read a post from you. So sorry you ended up with deafness!! What a blow. Will the hearing aids allow you to hear better? Hope so. ((((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))))
The arimidex i was on caused me to have a stroke....what we won't do to avoid a recurrence!
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Hi little suzie! Yes, I am so bummed! The Arimidex is bad news too....I have been corresponding with a gal from the World Health Organization, who wrote an article called Tamoxifen, Tears and Terror....Anyway, I'm amazed that someone actually believes me with this Deafness from Tamoxifen.
I'm so sorry about your Arimidex stuff! Dang! I was thinking of going on Femara, but man, I don't know about that one either!Hey gals, this Author said that Aspertame is very bad...she sent me a lot of sites talking about this and it's relation to breast cancer....So now I'm sticking with sugar and that Blue Agave sweetener...it's like honey....
And yes, the hearing aids will help me with about 95% of my hearing! I could actually hear when he gave me a pair to try for 10 minutes...
It was like I could hear, then he took them back.So I pick them up from Costco tomorrow.... So then you can say "Can you hear me NOW?" Ha!
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Chevy, that will be reason to celebrate, and you know how we like that.
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I haven't read anything about hearing loss, I guess that I have one more thing to research about Tamoxifen. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this rotten side effect, Chevyboy. I hope that you don't mind a personal question. How "old" are you?
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Not a gripe really.....just a sort of "sad" I guess. I work at an elementary school. We have 2 principals that job share. One sort of at the end of her working years, one at the beginning of his. On Friday, they called a staff meeting to make an announcement. The older principal is retiring(no surprise there, really) and the younger one is taking a job elsewhere(total surprise). So, we will be starting out next school year with a new principal.
Here's where my "sad" comes in-I have worked 11 years with these people-the younger one was my son's teacher before he became co-principal. I feel like they respect me and know what I am capable of doing. I feel like I will be starting over with a new principal. The atmosphere in our district is not good between administration and employees right now-it's sort of an "us vs. them" mentality. The principals we have right now are such supportive people and I'm afraid that their replacement(whoever it is) might not be.
On the other hand, it could be really good. I just don't like change!
And there's my gripe for the night.
Mary
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