Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Long story of angry, hurt, me and her dad moving her and the baby out of a rented house they could hardly afford much less when he left her and the baby. Cause he came back the next day, we thought to patch things up, but he packed a bag and lit out like it was spring break. She soon moved in with us and he went 3 states away where he commenced fires with all his relatives and eventually burned all his bridges there and returned to our city. OH.. oh yeah, he stole a private collection of weapons before leaving there and brought them here, but the pawn shop picked up the car before the cops did.so he wasn't in possession and no charges. this was the car that he bought with monies extorted from my 82 year old mother. (Who is, btw, a whole other venting event). DD filed for a divorce. About a year later, her ex signed the papers which gave her full custody of the child. She moved on. He didn't. After the div was final, she began going out with her sister or other girlfriends and met a very terrific fully adult man who fell hard, bought her a nice ring and they proceeded to impregnate her. They haven't married, she's 7 mos.pg now - due by section late January. It's a girl. Yay for me. . ..anyway, the ex is so mental, He's not reliable, dependable, honest. all the things you would want in the father of your child. (He's over 3,000 behind in child support. But he is clean and sober right now, for maybe 3 or 4 months. living with parents, of which his father is a convicted child molester. we didn't know all the dysfunction, hell, we didn't know 1/10 of it.
But DD took the parenting classes and in an effort for the child to know her birth father she has taken her to see him, to the park, mall, shopping. always with DD. He could have had private visitation IF he could provide a safe place to visit and up until well, about now, he couldn't.
He didn't have a car or job or stable living or not even living in this state., but now he is. He got a job, So child support picked up. then he got a car, but no carseat.Um, it's the Law AND it's for the safety of the child... duh. Oh, and he had no license or insurance. But DD would go pick him up and take them to the mall in order for them to visit. He seems to have forgotten that part.
He has been on probation and is getting drug checked so he's clean and very demanding about seeing the child. DD doesn't respond well to demands, so he gets angry and curses her and she hangs up and quits taking his calls. Recently, calls increased, middle of the night drunk calls, etc. DD had enough and last week took the Peace Bond. (There's lots more bad behavior of his) in there of course, too much to vent. But the bond was appropriate.
Enter the new girlfriend with attitude. (poor stupid thing) Believing him when he cries that his ex wife refuses to let him see his child. And how his wife deserted him with the baby... seriously, he has told that to a family member!!! she just buys all his lies, how he lost everything, and how he didn't do anything wrong and his mean ex wife is just ..whatever.. And the gf began to text DD (or her phone number did). The texts were mean, telling her that what she is doing with the child is wrong and that he's a good father... then they got ugly, then threatening and then some less than pleasant voice messages, left by a woman's voice, were enough to throw DD into a giant hissy fit, upset, feeling threatened, and rightly so. SHE's PREGNANT and the ex's girlfriend called her fat, sad and unhappy and they have never even met.
DD is very happy with her new man. GDD is also happily adjusted and they have a pleasant little house with a fenced yard and she calls him Daddy. The new guy, G, is army vet with 2 combat tours and a tight knit family in this town, has been involved with DD almost a year, owns his home, car, good job with benefits. He's not going to take this crap much. when the girl upset DD so much he reported it, the police got the girls cell # because she's been reported before, recently, and turns out she has a RECORD of considerable note. Armed robbery, burglary, lots and lots more. So G got the police reports today and will file a peace bond against the girl tomorrow.
This continuing drama will resume.
I totally use you to vent upon. It's cleansing somehow. And I got no where else to go..
ON The Good News side...
My CEAs went down, YAY. Abdominal MRI shows NOTHING so that's good. still having the blood in the urine problem and no help in signt. My PCP is going concierge doc. I won't be able to afford him so have to find a new one again. It's like training a new man. So they look at you when you talk and check out the things you complain about the way you want them to.
Hope I didn't alienate anyone with my massive post. There's plenty more but the temp is dropping and I gotta get inside. DH needs to hook up my router so I don't have to tail my good neighbors internet service from the porch. lol. not kidding.
~C
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OOohhh, good to hear from you Connie! I can't believe the shit continues!!!! Keep us posted as, I, for one, am interested in knowing if the Peace Bond works!
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Thanks. I felt guilt for hijacking this thread when ya'll were talking about health related stuff.
Sometimes I just really need to write things down. You remember when Ex was an active drug user and I went to their house almost everyday to either protect or defend my DD. Do you remember the Good Friday event in April? After we moved DD out, we were almost finished moving but just couldn't make another trip, the truck and cars were loaded and we locked up for the day. The next day, she remembered the cat food and pet supplies in a small cabinet so she went back to get it on Good Friday, I was with the sleeping grandbaby. DD couldn't get in, her key didn't work?? odd. so she went to the back door and it was unlocked.. we didn't leave it that way but she went inside and got her pet stuff. Looking around/checking.. she literally ran into a female who was sleeping on a mattress and they had WORDS. DD was freaked out and she left. the woman (W) was surprised too, like she didn't know she was in a house she had no right to be in and she called the police and reported an intruder... DD was driving out of the neighborhood and the cops stopped her. They didn't believe her, they believed the W in the house and DD was arrested for criminal trespass.. THAT was so wrong. We told the lawyer about it and he looked into it for his own information. Turns out, the landlord, whom DD had written twice telling about being abandoned with child, giving a date that she expected to be moved out and a second letter informing landlord that the date was short and she needed another week, to not enter the property without notice and that DD would return keys after that one more week. Landlord, an employee for the house owner apparently didn't believe the letters AND was sweet talked by Ex into resigning the lease, before DD was cleared out, and giving him and his W access, they (he) changed the locks. The landlord was contacted that day by the police investigator and told the police that DD had been evicted. SO not true. That's why they arrested her.
Lawyer was so surprised at the series of events that led to the arrest and how horribly wrong the landlords behavior was that now, Lawyer has filed a lawsuit for unlawful arrest, distress, etc. against the landlord personally, the rental company and the W. Because it's all so wrong and DD has all the documentation. He is doing it for justice. NOT $$ !!
All I've ever wanted was for my kids to be happy with their lives. It's just amazing how one guy has invented, created and executed all this drama. You'd think he was a female. I was so wired up cause I talked to him, mostly listened to ranting and raving about how wrong we all are by not letting him have the child (alone). I tried to tell him that if he could be nice to me he could have been visiting with her at my house. And how his W is making things worse. He couldn't see how things could possibly be worse cause he hasn't seen child in weeks. And because he can't remember the sequence or details of all his lies and he trips up on them. I said it would be worse if his visits have to be supervised by the court and he lost it.
I have to admit, playing with his head give me some sort of sick satisfaction. I loved this kid for 10 years and treated him as one of my own. (although memory can't recall him ever telling me that he loved me.) He has called me names and yelled F U at me on the phone for not liking what I say. I know some of his buttons and can hold them down and stick pins in them and make him dance.. more pins, more sick satisfaction. One day he will grow up and realize what a stupid, irresponsible lousy excuse for a human he really is. And I STILL offer excuses for him. No parental involvement in his raising, no discipline, no punishments, tossed around living with family members, who, as it turns out ALL have had drug problems. ...And he thinks we will ever let him be alone with our already traumatized 2 year old. Hear me ROAR... NEVER.
I began to wonder how to hire a hit man. I found out that alligator meat can be identified, so that's out. My mind is working overtime. and it's surprising even me.
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Connie,
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this crap! Please come here to vent whenever you fele the need... We all are here whenever you need a shoulder...
HUGS
Harley0 -
Yep, I remember W...wasn't she an Asian woman who came out of nowhere??
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Connie,
PLEASE come here to vent INSTEAD of hiring a hit man. He's just not worth it. All of that sucks!
I have no crap for you to listen to today, because I have FOUR days off from radiation and later today we are off to Montreal to see DS and DIL ..and the grandboy is due the 21st!! (We are kind of hoping she goes into labor while we are there..)
OK, a little crap: the rads are kicking my butt. I have about four places where it goes in..and comes out...that are sore and it is making the incision really red and sore and GOD does it still hurt to cough or sneeze!!! (that last one is still from the surgery, not the rads). I asked the rad onc if the pain would get worse and she said probably and she also said to expect the incision healing to stop or even regress a little bit during rads but it should heal normally after. GREAT. But no rads until Wednesday now, so I intend to fully enjoy the break!!!
Much love to all of you.......thinking of you Connie and glad DD found a grown-up man to love.
Love,
Sue
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Yep thats the one. She is a drug user too & left Ex when the money ran out & does not have custody of her kid. She's long gone out of Ex's life but we found her name when we saw her in a McDs with a man & I got the tag number of the car they were in. DD finds out lots of stuff online about people.
Technology certainly makes people more visible. Makes the news happen right in our faces, most of the time whether we want to see/hear it or not.
Thanks for understanding my need to vent. I don't want to take all this crap to family. Most of them are dealing with their own crap or just don't listen.
Friday was Veteran's Day and the courthouse was closed. We forgot and DD went down there to file on the gf. but that was a bust. have to wait til Monday. They can't bother by phone because DD changed her number, again. Also, G has a good friend who is a police officer and lives and patrols nearby, he knows what to watch for. AND their neighbor works at a local pub and knows DD+Ex from years ago when they frequented that pub. Neighbor volunteered to testify in court that Ex has been in the pub asking about his ex-wife. He is on probation and pubs are off-limits.
AND OMG... last night me and dh went to run some errands, one in Target. We found a huge traffic jam on the main road so we went the back way which was also backed up, but we got to where we were going and pulled into a rather snug parking place. the space ahead was open and wider so dh moved the van up into the more comfortable spot and as we pulled up, a huge SUV started pulling in, we didn't see them until they were right in front of us, (by then we were parked. there was a woman driving and talking on her phone, the male passenger jumped out fast, began coming our way yelling at us, "Why did you do that?" and pointing his finger he began screaming, BACK UP. YOU BACK UP... dh never gets flustered, he began to laugh at the guy which only drove the dude insane. Then he was screaming names.. "You're a Dick". over and over. I was completely befuddled and dh was laughing and replied, "Thank you", so I chuckled too and we smiled at each other. The screaming man got closer and my dh stood up to face him and that guy gulped when he saw my dh cause dh is big and strong and knows he could have stopped or hurt that guy if needed, (you just can't know if someone has a gun) but the guy saw dh and began backing up and got back into his suv. I mean REALLY?, there was a spot directly across and plenty more spots nearby. So, we got out and locked our car. That's when the female driver opened her window and began screaming expletives at my dh, ... you're an A$$, and then she directed at me, "you're a fat pig" she screamed and more, I pointed at the other spots and she screamed other insults, so I just flipped her the bird and we walked inside and did our shopping. (with a cautious eye for either of them), and when we came out we checked our car for damage, just in case. (none). WHAT is going on?? We didn't do anything wrong, and we couldn't have known that another car was coming and must have paid a premium for that particular spot. We talked about it all night. How they must have been stuck in that traffic jam forever and really had to pee, or some other stressful thing was going on, cause when that man jumped out he was already amped up and just took it out on us. Younger than us, they must have thought we did it on purpose against them. If the guy had been nice and asked us to back up, we would have. But not like that. He's not my daddy. And it was funny to see him back up when dh stepped out with no intentions except to protect and defend.
So the moral of this story is... when someone blows their top at you, and you don't engage, they enrage.And, laughter is the best medicine. And it SO makes them madder than hell.
But, I"ll bet you already knew that.
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Hey Sue, You sound in good spirits, which I find amazing. They couldn't have postponed rads until your incision was healed? That sucks. Mine was 3 weeks after surgery. I can't say I was the best rads patient because I hated every minute of it, usually cried before during or after, sometimes all three. And they wouldn't let me use anything on the skin except corn starch. Ended up with open blisters the size of quarters, still just corn starch. horrible fatigue, I would just be a couch potato for what seemed like an eternity, just awful. You, on the other hand, seem to have a real handle on what's happening to you and I admire that quality.
We are all (I think) holding our breath until we hear you are NED, and praying for your treatments. I have been praying for your strength, but not sure that's what you need. You sure do seem to have a lot of that. So, I will change mine to ask for healing. God Bless.
Connie
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{{{{{{{{{{{{ Sue! }}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Connie, I had a head on car crash in a horrid snow storm one time and had to use a cab to get to a client in a bank for my job. As the cab pulled up and I opened the door, a small car came zipping in way too fast and actually slid in the snow to a stop by hitting the curb, inches from me. He looked and me and we smiled in relief. As we met in the bank I said "Boy, that was a close one, eh?" He nodded and smiled.
The next day I get a call from my boss who said that someone who worked in the bank called them to say that I had yelled and screamed at a customer in their bank and they didn't want me to ever step in the bank again. I figure it was the girlfriend he was in such a hurry to get to. I told my boss that was a blatant lie as I had the manager sign the contract when I got there and if I had done anything wrong I'm sure she wouldn't have. That woman could have cost me my job!!! Why do people do things like that?? I've NEVER forgotten that second that he almost hit me and then the aftermath with the lies. I don't understand people! I told my boss about the cabbie and said he'd be willing to attest for me as he could see me in the bank. She said don't bother....
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{{{Sue}}} So sorry hon, you are dealing with that pain. Did you give anything to help lessen or relieve it? Please take it before you really need, so it help sweetie.
Praying too, for your healing and for lessened, rather than the increase you are dreading. AND....hoping if it's a good time for that healthy baby to make it's way into your heart on the trip, that it happens then
Good luck hon~ 0 -
Sorry for everybody's crap. Uh Connie, I agree with Sue, use us instead of a hit man. I'm in the process of moving from a 4 bedroom home to a 2 bedroom apartment and cannot believe how much crap a person can accumulate over time. I've been decluttering for months and thought I was ahead of the game but the crap just keeps on coming. How can 1 person need more than 50 ink pens!
Hope everybody's week is a good one.
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Oh, forgot to say that I quit taking the Arimidex approximately 3 weeks ago. I cannot tell you how good I feel. I new I couldn't do the move (both office and home) feeling as bad as I normally do and make good decisions. I'm going to talk with my new onco and may not go back on it if it only improves my chances by 5-10%. It is not worth it. It is amazing the difference.
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Recently, DH and I were in the parking station attached to the hospital where I see my Onc. This is a fairly new hospital complex along with the car park. Normally, we drive up to the top floor which has spaces close to the exit, park, then get the lift down to the level we need to be on. As far as I know all carparking stations are the same these days, the two-lane up/down ramps are in the center and you drive in one direction only around the perimeter to find a 'spot.'
On this particular day, we were heading to the top floor and turned into the up ramp only to be confronted by a large 4WD truck in the middle of both lanes facing us, coming down. As soon as the driver saw us start to turn towards him.......he went ballistic..........screaming that this was a one-way lane and that DH was all sorts of idiot. Ron pulled the car as far to left as he could and tried to squeeze us through, while the bloke ranted foul obscenities at us at the top of his lungs He had his arm out the window, waving his fist at us which was quite frightening, but Ron and I just sat there inching forward all the time while shaking our heads at him. Eventually, we passed him and another idiot following him in the middle of the lane who also mouthed off and gave us some sort of hand signals. There was nothing more we could do at that time but I would have loved to be a fly on the wall at the exact moment when he realised what a complete and utter pratt he had made of himself.
Sheila.
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Good morning ladies! I haven't been on for a while as I had another stroke! I had my first one in 2003. I was on medicine to prevent another! I spent the evening of Oct. 27th through the 31st in the hospital where my roommate was this perfectly delightful 80 year old. We partied so hard that staff was coming in to see what all the laughing was about. Then the evening of October 31st went to a rehab and met a bunch of nice people. I came home the afternoon of November 10th.
During my rehab they found that my BP was in the 170's when laying down and would drop tio 112 when standing up - WTH? The first 3 nights in the hospital I was not given my long term insulin which put my BS out of control - they were given me short acting insulin. Even once they started giving my Lantus - it wasn't the right dosage. My sugar levels were higher even though I was watching what I ate. The first morning after coming home they were 206; yesterday 156 and finally, thank God, 101 this morning.
The hospital was quite thorough - the first full day I was there they had a neurologist, the hospitalist, a cardiologist, physical and occupation therapists, a nutritutionist and a social worker come see me - at one point you had to take a number!
Anyway, they changed my meds for the stroke, added calcium and vitamin D, upped the blood pressure medicine and sent me on my way.
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Kathleen, so glad you are back among us. We have missed you. Do you have any lingering effects from the stroke? If so I hope they soon dissipate.
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Kathleen!!! Where were you when it happened and how did you know?? You live alone now, so it must have been scary. What did your sister say? Did she suggest you go back to her??
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Kathleen, How perfectly AWFUL! How did you know it was a stroke? Headache? Sounds like your care was top notch. Glad you're back. Stroke scares the crap out of me.
I like the way Billy Currington sings it, "God is great, beer is good.... and people are crazy.
It must be either the full moon, or the holiday rush and spend is freaking some people out, not knowing another way to just be with family for the holidays and pre-Thanksgiving panic about how many they have to feed and who's going to pay for it all.
I have been having a shopping spree on criagslist. Found a brand new changing table, $20. Dh was working in that area and picked it up for me. Then I found a teal velvet, tall back swivel rocker and only paid $25 for it. DD sold or gave away almost all baby things, not expecting to be expecting quite so soon, so she needs it all. Fortunately, the friend who had a girl received all the infant clothing and is getting it ready to give back.We are grateful for that.
Happy Sunday Everyone! Connie
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I didn't know it was a stroke - just knew I was dizzy - everyone said call 911 so I did. At first they were telling MRI was normal. Then the neurologist looked at it and said it showed a stroke near or at the brain stem. I am still dizzy but I already know that my right carotid artery is 70% blocked and needs a :"rotor-rutor." But then I also need a left hip replacement! I'm a mess!!!
My sister just wanted me to stay in rehab for another 2 weeks but my insurance won't permit it. The after affects boil down to dizziness and balance issues - really minor.
Connie ... one of the sure-fire techniques for getting pregnant is to get rid of your baby stuff. Other sure-fire techniques is to pay for trip 9 months ih advance which is non-refundable or take a job that involves heavy travel
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I don't know what I did to make that last paragraph so large!
Barbe ... good to be back and to be able to benefit from your common sense.
Chabba ... thanks - I missed you guys!
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{{Katheleen}} do they expect the dizziness and such to go away, or not until the rotor-rutor is done?? Will add a prayer it goes away soon....
Such suxiness ladies...connie and all, hoping things start to look up for you soon ladies...prayers of course will continue for you all.
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Wishiwere ... they didn't say but they seem to think it is from my blood pressure which can dramatically drop when I stand up. At this point I am getting to the end of the rope. My legs hurt so bad I can't sleep. As soon as I lie down they ache like toothaches! I am sitting here tonight jus butt exhausted but when I lie down it hurt I did not feel that way in rehab.but I do now. I can't tale anything else as I get up in the night and I am fearful of falling,
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{{Kathleen}} I hope you got 'some' type of rest during the night hon. Perhaps you need to call the doctors this morning and explain the changes, b/c it sounds like things are getting worse again and something needs to be changed, either in meds, and/or surgery earlier. Please don't wait
Make the call....and then keep us up on your progress when you can 0 -
Kathleen, do you think it was the adjustable hospital type bed in rehab that let you sleep there? You may be able to rent one from a medical supplier at low or no cost through Medicare. It might be worth looking at.
Wishing gentle, healing rest for you.
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I can only assume it is my legs not the bed - but good suggestion. I will look into it. Thanks.
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First grandbaby born at 1215 am Montreal time this morning.....SO relieved and happy!!!! No details yet....
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Sueper ... what a tease - we want pictures and details. Congratulations!
The dizziness continues but I have tests scheduled for Nov. 22 and then an appointment with the cardiologist on Dec. 12th so maybe we can get some answers - for both my carotid artery and leg pain. Next Tuesday I'm seeing a new podiatrist which look promising for finally resolving this stupid diabetic ulcer on my foot. Then I have to see an orthopedic surgeon for the hip replacement.
Nothing like having your dance card filled out by people with "M.D." after their name!
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Kathleen,
I am sorry you have so many M.D. appts... hope things smooth out for you soon!
I have been having a lot of stuff going on lately, too. I keep trying to schedule a routine eye exam, How hard should this be?, and my onc. keeps re-scheduling me.... so I decided that I don't care if I go back to either of them until January... I would like to get back to the onc. in December, though. I think he wants to dump me... see, I hurt his feelings back in JUNE, when I asked him if I could try to go to ONCE A YEAR appts.... so he has re-scheduled this appts. TWICE, and I have a feeling he is going to re-schedule this one again... 11/11/11 was resceduled to 11/18/11 and now I rescheduled it to 12/2/11....
Harley
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Harley - he must be incredibly sensitive! If he reschedules the 12/2/11 appointment I think I would ask what was going on.
Hopefully these appointments will finally solve my health problems. With the hip I can hardly walk. Everyone who has had a hip replaced says its great. So here's to a drama-free hip replacement!
My uncle's two sons are feuding and not speaking so our holiday dinners will have to be somewhere else. We always had them at the older brother's house (whose wife is a fabulous cook). So, for Thanksgiving my aunt, uncle & his wife (the boys' parents who are now persona non-grata), my sister and me are going to a fabulous inn in Thurmont, Maryland. Hopefully, by Christmas they will have worked things out. I'm not even going to get into why they fought but suffice it to say life is too damn short to not be on speaking terms with your family. And, of course, the real losers are their children who longer see each other and the older son's children can't see their grandparents. Its a crock of s$@%%%.
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Kathleen, I think he IS very sensitive! We had our share of knock-down drag out fights, when
I first started seeing him. We went toe-to-toe, even on my 1st day of chemo, and I wasn't even sure I was going to get a treatment.
I hope your hip gets fixed. I hear that hip replacement surgery is very good.
I know where Thurmont, MD is... I used to live in Maryland, and we would go on motorcycle rides in that area sometimes.
Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!
Harley
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Thanks Harley .. I think we will have a pretty nice holiday and the same to you.
Too you ladies ... Have a great Thanksgiving Day!
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