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Smiles, Chuckles, and Quick Laughs

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  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited June 2015

    That was funny!

  • Marie711
    Marie711 Member Posts: 35
    edited June 2015

    57 years old, surgery 2 weeks ago

    I'll be glad when this soreness goes away. Nothing like pulling out of the driveway and realizing your fake boob is still on coffee table! 😳😜

    I laughed till I cried! At this age I better put a full length mirror on the door out, or make a checklist of parts!!

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited July 2015


    lol

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited July 2015

    Heard this one at church yesterday:

    A pastor died and went to Heaven, upon his arrival St. Peter asks him if there is anything that he can do for him. The priest thinks for a moment and says: "I'd really like to talk to the Virgin Mary." St. Peter looks at him, points and says: "Sure. She's right over there." So the pastor goes over and says: "Mary, in all the paintings and images I have seen of you, you never smile. Why is that?" She sighs and looks around before she responds: "Well, truth be told, I really wanted a girl!"

  • sgabbert
    sgabbert Member Posts: 14
    edited September 2015

    So my husband and I travel around on a big touring motorcycle. We have so many t-shirts but this one cracked me up when it came in the mail along with one for me that said " My wife is still HOT, it just comes in flashes!". Anyway, I posted on my facebook page that my husband had a t-shirt for sale and to make us an offer. This is the t-shirt Loopy

    image

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited September 2015

    lol


  • Pheasantduster
    Pheasantduster Member Posts: 1,986
    edited September 2015
    Man driving down road.
    Woman driving up same road.
    They pass each other.
    Woman yells out window, PIG!
    Man yells out window, Bitch!
    Man rounds next curve,
    Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

    Thought for the Day: If men would just listen
  • honeybair
    honeybair Member Posts: 234
    edited September 2015

    Pheasant, loved your joke. Keep 'em coming.

  • Pheasantduster
    Pheasantduster Member Posts: 1,986
    edited September 2015
    I found this subject a few days ago, but this morning started to read past posts - sides hurt from laughing - going to forward 'some' to daughter and going to copy some for my husband to bring to Sportsmen Club night! nothing like a laugh to get you through the day. Thanks all
  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited September 2015

    lol love the pig joke. I really needed that today.

  • Pheasantduster
    Pheasantduster Member Posts: 1,986
    edited September 2015
    Fall cleaning out of "papers" and came across this:
    Know why Jack-O-Lanterns are better than men?
    It's easy to make them smile, you can see what's going on inside their heads, and best of all..........
    you can throw away the parts you don't like !
  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited September 2015

    lol


  • Pheasantduster
    Pheasantduster Member Posts: 1,986
    edited September 2015
    A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. "Is there any message you may wish to give your husband if we find him?" "Yes", she replied eagerly, "Tell him mother didn't come after all"
  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited September 2015

    lol

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited October 2015

    image

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited October 2015

    Eggs-er-size

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited October 2015

    A man and giraffe walk into a bar. Giraffe lays down on the floor. Bartender says "What's that lyin' there?" Man says "That's not a lion that's a giraffe."

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited October 2015
    The Veterinarian ?


    One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering,
    the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!

    The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

    "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

    "Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

    The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"

    The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."


    The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"


    "He is a veterinarian," she answered.


    "That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said.. "Where does he practice?"


    The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada...

    He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno"

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited November 2015

    lol

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited November 2015

    image

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited November 2015

    image

  • OncoWarrior
    OncoWarrior Member Posts: 3,326
    edited November 2015

    Invitation:

    I started a new game (20 Questions) and I hope this takes you there.

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/31/topics/836885?page=1#idx_3

    and that you will want to play along.

    Nerdy natasha
  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited January 2016

    Those were hilarious!


  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited January 2016

    These are some of my favorite Confucius sayings. Always makes me laugh!

    Confucius say:

    • Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
    • Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
    • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
    • Man who run in front of car get tired.
    • Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
    • Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
    • Man with one chopstick go hungry.
    • He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
    • Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
    • Woman who put man in doghouse soon find him in cathouse!
  • OncoWarrior
    OncoWarrior Member Posts: 3,326
    edited January 2016

    Thank you Mommy.

    Good timing as Chinese new year coming Feb 08. Year of the monkey.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,875
    edited January 2016

    hehehehehe :)

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited January 2016

    yw

    Those always make me howl!

  • Pheasantduster
    Pheasantduster Member Posts: 1,986
    edited January 2016
    Did you hear about the 92 year old guy who was in court for having sex with a 16 year old? The judge gave him six months for perjury!
  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,344
    edited January 2016

    lol


  • CindiefromTx
    CindiefromTx Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2016

    Hey Ladies! I'm thinking of a tshirt order to help me with travel and copay expenses. On the front:

    "HELL YEAH THEYRE FAKE"

    On the back: "THE REAL ONES TRIED TO KILL ME"