Chemo in Sept 08
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Hi Ladies...Just checking in and looking for some insight from you. I went through chemo in Sept. '08 with you. I had a lumpectomy prior to chemo...clean margins, very small tumor but a few cells in one lymph node. Did chemo and radiation and am now on Tamoxifen...which I am not happy about but am too afraid to not take it at this point. I have had 2 mammograms and an MRI since finishing chemo. I got called back after each mammo...1) additional calcifications seen on first mammo-benign, and 2) an "area of increased density" seen on my healthy breast last week-did additional views and an ultrasound and it doesn't appear to be more dense but they want me to do another mammo with my MRI in 6 months. I have been thinking about a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy for the past few months. I don't think I can go through the angst of these mammograms/MRIs every 6 months. My mammograms show nothing because I am so dense. My original BC wasn't picked up on mammo. I found it during a SBE. I saw my breast surgeon this past week. He told me that he supports me and thinks I have very valid reasons for wanting to do this...under 50 at diagnosis, dense breasts, some family history. He commented that if my mammos were his wife's he'd be very nervous (it looks like a white out). I was so relieved to hear this...maybe I'm not crazy after all. My gut has been telling me that this is what I need to do. I did fine through chemo and radiation but I certainly don't want to do it again. I am meeting with one of two plastic surgeons to discuss my reconstruction options next week...I had radiation to my left breast and I don't have extra abdominal tissue for a TRAM flap. My husband is having a hard time understanding why I want to do this. I have felt like I'm a ticking time bomb. When is the next shoe going to drop? I want to live, not worry what my next mammo or MRI is going to show or what I may have to put my family through again. Am I nuts? I know many of you have had bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction. Any thoughts for me? Thanks. I appreciate anything you wise women can offer.
CONGRATS on being done with your surgeries Spring! Glad everything went so well.
I'm still having toenail issues too. Does it ever end?!!
Juli, I had a Reclast infusion. My only side effect was that I was a little achy the next day...mainly my back. It didn't last beyond that day.
Thanks. Li
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Li - thanks for your input. I've been taking Aleve and just have occasional joint pain. Sorry I can't help with the recon thing. I had the lumpectomy. But if I were in your situation, I would seriously consider the mast. Chemo/Herceptin nearly killed me, so I will never do that again (if I have a choice, of course!)
I guess I will get my port out by the end of next year. Can't win 'em all.
Chris - not sure if I will go back to doing the inspections. I would rather type the reports. So far it is a good system with the other appraiser inspecting and me typing. I hate the driving and measuring in rainy, winding, or hot weather. (spoiled, I guess)
ok, back to work.
hugs
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Li, I was just like you. Dense breast tissue, tumor not seen in mammo or untrasound. I could not face the fact that they wanted to do mammos again as surveillance. WHAT FOR? They were useless for me. Even MRI yearly could not guarantee to find the cancer as DCIS. I was told the most likely scenario would be a small IDC. I was like. FORGET THIS. My tissue, like yours, was just too hard to manage with the technology available now.
I had a bilateral Mx and have never had a regret. I went to NOLA for recon, http
/www.breastcenter.com/ and am extremely happy with the results. No muscle is used, and I was pretty lean, but they found enough fat on me. Have you thought about this? Just saying. It is a large surgery, but the results are beautiful, and you nearly get a full body makeover. They are very progressive - and can do nipple and skin sparing. It's like you wake up with new perfect breasts but there is no breast tissue! Just tummy and/or butt fat! Another topic: Did you all see on the news tonight that they are now saying that the Bisphosphonates (like boneva, reclast, zometa) have now been shown to prevent breast cancer in the first place, not just bone mets? I think there is something going on here. !!!
Spring,
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Hi Girls,
Li, I haven't had the same experience as you, but my advice would be, do what makes you feel good. You can't go on worrying full time about what might happen in the future. Ask yourself, would you stop worrying if you had already had a double mast? Make sure what ever you decide, that you have your husbands support you, as you will probably need it, but the decision is yours not his. Share your concerns with him and make sure he shares his.
Juli, stay put, sounds like you have things just the way you want them, there is nothing wrong with being spoilt.
Spring, you are a strong women, well done to you!
Take care, everyone, Singapore Chris xx
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Thank you Spring, Juli and Chris. Spring-I did check out the center you went to in NOLA. Wow!! They are very progressive and their work is beautiful. I looked at all the before and after pictures and many of the women that had DIEP or GAP procedures were very thin and obviously they found enough tissue on them. I would love to be able to use my own tissue. I am definitely going to investigate this further. I didn't realize there were so many options. I have a couple specific questions for you so I am going to PM you. Thank you so much!
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Lili - I had a left mast originally and when I had my right mammo in August, I went through the same thing you did with the "we'll check again in 6 months" deal. I didn't opt for that scenario and, with the blessings of my PCP, oncologist, surgeon and husband, had a right mast last month. Lo, and behold, there was an itty, bitty DCIS sitting just under the nipple area just waiting to breed. Who knows how long this would have taken to become IDC, but I'm glad I didn't wait and see. I don't regret having them both removed. For myself, I opted not to do recon. That's just me. But, like I said, I am very glad I decided to have a "prophylactic" on the right.
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Thanks Jane. My gut has been telling me that the PMB is the way to go for me. I'm going with my gut. I don't want to have to think about what may be lurking in my dense tissue any more. Now I just have to figure out my reconstruction options.
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Gosh, Jane, I had not heard that. Thanks to GOD you had that tissue taken off!!!
Lili, let me know if you have any other Q's. I think I sent you the link to the "NOLA IN SEPT" thread, lots and lots of women and support there as well. Lots of info!
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Jane, so glad you made the decision!! I didn't know they had found DCIS either.
Li, I think I would have another mast too, if I were in your shoes. My breast are not dense, and I didn't want to deal with all the numbness at this point, but at the first sign of anything, that breast is coming off.
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Does anybody else here feel guilty for not having the energy to do the things around the house that should be done? (or are yours all nice and clean) It's been almost a year since my last chemo and my house is a mess. I have no energy to clean or do anything. At DHs insistence, I let my little cleaning girl go. Granted, she didn't do a lot - sweep, mop, dust, fold laundry, clean the bathroom, dishes, wipe counters. And what she did do, she didn't do very well, but still. These are things that I am physically capable of doing, I just can't get myself up off my butt to do them. I have been hearing little comments and jibes from DH and DD about who does what (feeding dogs, etc.) It makes me feel like a lazy slob. When I called in last Wednesday because of the weather, all I did was fold laundry and strip the bed. The rest of the day, I sat in the recliner and watched TV...which is what I do most evenings when I get home from work. I hate the way my house looks and I hate that my family thinks that I am a lazy slob. PCP is supposed to be setting up a sleep study for me so maybe if I get a CPAP to help with sleep apnea at night I won't be so tired during the day.
P.S. - Sorry for the vent.
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Hi everyone,
I'm battling allergies for the last week or so, allergies that feel like a cold...awful awful stuff. I miss you all and love having fun with you on FB.I have no energy and would love to find a way to get help...That may become my New Years project... fingers xed..
I developed sleep apnea after taking steroids for inflammatory arthritis. I guess I gained weight everywhere including my sleep apparatus. I didn't do well with CPAP so I had the surgery with great results. I've been sleeping better since then thank goodness. When I was pregnant my friends told me they could hear me when they stood in the backyard and smoked :lol :lol
Jane, your story is a miracle. I think most of us have to persevere with our beliefs... and it seems that we do... to take care of ourselves so that we can survive.
You say that all you did was fold laundry and strip the bed. That is work and it's energy consuming. Let me know what your PMD says about the apnea test.
Spoiled Juli sounds good to me. Tyoe and take care of you.
I'm putting my phone number on FB or messaging it...
hav to rest for now...
feeling better but it's been a while..
love to everyone,
mina
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Jane, I have a cleaning woman every other week. She is actually very good, from Brazil! The place still has piles of "stuff" I need to deal with (actually it's DH's crap, but he NEVER deals with it) anyhow, yes, there is a bit of accumulated stuff to deal with!!!! Do you feel tired and run down? Maybe you need vitamins?
Mina! Feel better!
Jules! I bot your Christmas card/pic -- HOLY COW - those are some huge gorgeous boys!!! (men I guess! :O
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Spring - Thanks! Actually my older 2 sons in the back were standing on the hearth...cheaters! The tallest is 6'1" and I am barely 5'2". I feel very protected!
Mina - I want to send you a card...PM your address if it's ok.
Jane - got yours! thanks!
hugs
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Hi Girls,
I havent read the last few posts as I can;t see very well with this patch on my eye. All went well with my cateract op, hope to get the patchoff tomorrow. Feel good, but my eyeball aches.
Take CAre Chris x
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Chris - great news! wishing you speedy healing!
hugs
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Oh Chris, I can just imagine you looking like a Pirate! Heal fast honey. Are you still in Singapore? Sent your Christmas card there!!!
Jules, yes, you look very protected!!!!
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Thanks Jane and Juli for the Christmas cards.....and Juli you have some very handsome boys!
Glad your eye is feeling a little better Chris
love you all
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How goes your mafia Genia? giggles.
Genia is the Mafia Queen!!!
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Hey ladies!
Jane and Spring- I hope you are both healing well, taking it easy and feeling better every day.
Chris- I hope the vision is clearing up for you
Juli- I work for the clerk of court and we have alot of appraisers come in checking transfer tax forms for comps..I don't know about there but here they are having a HARD time finding comps cause nothing is selling. The one in there today said they are starting to let them use foreclosures for comps now.
I'm sorry i use you all as a sounding off board all too often. I am just so stressed...I don't have the patience i once had...ever since tamoxifen i am just so wound up...zanex makes me sleepy which is not a good combination with babysitting....Chris- I only wish the girls WOULD color for some length of time...Khara EATS all crayons..heck she tries to eat EVERYTHING!!!! Kaelin is good at keeping herself occupied IF she is alone but Khara is the one that cannot be still, does not play with anything and is constant motion...I really think she is going to be ADHD
Chris- the bah humbugs come from a long story from childhood...My siblings feel the same way I do...
I AM blessed!! I will move past this time in my life. I AM sorry that i blow off steam with you guys..once I post i usually regret it. I guess i had just hoped that by this phase of my life things would be looking up a little and the pressures would be less..BUT that isn't God's plan for us at this time. I don't know why we are walking this path..but we are.
I do love you ladies and thank you for putting up with my rants..and i know you read and go "there she goes again"
I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas filled with laughter and joy and great times. I wish for all of us a great and HEALTHY new year with fewer and fewer dr's appointments and more memories of good times.
((((HUGS))))) to you all
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Chris - Love your card and xmas letter. You are blessed with a wonderful family!
Genia - Thanks! I love my boys to pieces!
Spring - How is the healing going?
Lisa - We (appraisers here in CA) have been using foreclosures and short sales as comps for a long time . We don't have much choice....But more importantly, don't you ever think that we don't want to hear what you have to say. We love you and want to be as supportive as we can. Big hugs to you!
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Hi Girls,
Spring, yes I am still in Singapore and will be here until we leave, with a little trip to indonesia for a few days with the whole family. The boys start arriving tomorrow, we are soooo excited.
Jane, just take it easy and do what you can, ask the others to help out too. Maybe with a new year, new energy will come, let's keep our fingers crossed. It does actually take a lot longer to get back on your feet than we like to think.
Lisa, never once had I thought "there she goes again" I am sure the others haven't either. Life isn't always easy, especially after what we have been through, so go easy on yourself. We all need to vent and when I see someone doing it, It just makes me feel normal, as being positive all the time is a great goal, but not possible. Keep trying to see the good in things and I am sure you will find it.
Juli thanks for your comments, I really do have a wonderful family. My 18 year old (due home tomorrow!) commented to my mum last weekend, that in the past the most iimportant thing about Christmas has always been the presents, but this year it is about being with his family). Leaving home really does make a big difference.
Genia and Mina, take care, get lots of sleep and hope all pain goes away.
Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season with lots of fun and not too much food.
Take care. Singapore Chris xx
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Chris - There's no such thing as too much food around the holidays!
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This last drain is driving me crazy is all I can say! I can't stand it!!! Ugh!!! Christmas is coming!!! ... I am *really really really* hoping it will be out by then...
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Spring - got your card today...Such a beautiful family picture!
Tomorrow I see the surgeon about getting my port out.
My onc made the big mistake of calling me on Monday to let me know my tumor markers were the same, so I BEGGED her to let me get the port out and she said yes (reluctantly). Cross your fingers the surgeon can squeeze me in before the new year. hugs
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Hi Girls,
Spring, you poor thing, I bet that drain is itching like mad, I pray your little bottle will be empty tomorrow so you can relax for Christmas.
Juli, excellent news, get that thing out! Merry christmas
Jane, you go ahead and enjoy yourself!
Take Care, Singapore Chris x
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The drain is coming out today! They are putting me back on antibiotics (likely infected, saw some discharge) the output is low enough to pull it!
YAY!!!!!!
Chris, hope the eyes are okay???
Jules, GET THAT SUCKER OUT! You will feel like a new woman!!!!
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Yaaay Juli....about time. I thought they were gonna make that sucker a part of your body!
Chris and Bev....got your Christmas cards. What beautiful families you both have. Thank you!
Bev....by this time your drain is gone. I'm sure it feels much better. I hated those drains. One of the worst parts of the whole thing for me.
Been busy tryin to get things ready for Christmas. Finally got my tree up last night.....lol. Not very Christmasy this year.....just want it to hurry on by. Bah humbug! lol
love you all
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Surgery all set for Tuesday @ 3:30 pm. But this is an example of what is wrong with insurance companies...The surgeon tells me this is a simple outpatient procedure (numb the area, give me a little sedative, 15 minutes later all done, 1/2 hour in recovery, be at the surgicenter an hour tops...but noooooooo, my insurance company won't let me have it there. I have to have it done in the hospital and be knocked out, so no food or water after 5 am, be at the hospital 2 hours before surgery, plus a longer recovery and it will cost them a LOT more.
hugs and have a good weekend!
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Hi Girls,
Spring, excellent news, so glad you will be independent for Christmas
Genia, hope you feeling more in the mood for Christmas with the tree up.
Juli, I can't believe that the insurance company can dictate what happens with your body. I assume that they want you to have the best and safest treatment possible. I haven't actually heard of anyone having a port out under just sedation. At least you have to go ahead.
My eye is doing well, not perfect yet, still feels a bit strange, reading the computer is the hardest, as that range is now not my best, hope it will improve when my brain tunes in.
One son home, heading off to the airport again in 2 hours to collect second son.
Love Singapore Chris xx
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You all sound good. Jules, I agree it is stupid, but just thing, that dratted thing will be OUT! How liberating.
So today I felt a lot better. 24 hours with no drain - and was able to walk again normally around the house, at my old pace -- and DH and I took a 1 mile walk! It is freezing here (just a dusting of snow) - felt good to move again.
Genia, we are going to visit family over the holidays, and given we'd be away, and I was recovering from surgery, I didn't do any decorating. The more you put up, the more you have to take down after New Years!!!
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