Chemo in Sept 08
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Glad you all had a good Christmas......
I went to my sister's and ate entirely too much food!!! lol
I know the FIRST thing I am gonna do when I get better........GO ON A DIET!!!!
And talkin about chemo brain......I have a bad case of hives......nothing new for me. I've had them for years........and the Dr. can't figure out what causes them. He just says it could be a million different things. And when I didn't have insurance......couldn't afford to pay for allergy testing. So I just lived with it. I hadn't had a good case of them since I have been taking decadron with my chemo. Steroids always knock the hives in the head. I guess where I haven't had chemo in over a month....they decided to creep back in. ANYWAY.....this morning....I was gonna take a couple of Atarax which is what I take when I get them really bad. I was itching like crazy and didn't sleep well at all. The ones I used to take were orange. They were only 10 mg. These were white and I didn't really think to look at the mg. on them. I took two of them and discovered later when I couldn't hold my head up........they were 50 mg each. LOL......so I was drugged when I got to my sister's house. I ended up sleeping two hours after lunch.....but I wasn't alone. Had a whole room full asleep with me.....lolol
Not itching anymore tho......lol.......chemo brain can KILL....I'm tellin ya!!!
hugs.....love ya all
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Genia - I did the same thing today... Went to my sister's and ate too much! I'm right there with you on starting the diet!
Hope everyone had a good holiday!
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I didn't eat too much. I'm at that point where I'm afraid to fart because I don't know if it is a fart or poop and my dil made beans for me. Genia - I'm going to call you later. My chemobrain thought you were in a different time zone so I didn't call last night. My son gave me a card that made me cry and he asked me to wear my wig today. I think it bothered him yesterday since it was the first time he saw me without my hair. One day at a time for now. We'll see what today brings.
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Juli....once we get past this together we can do the diet thing together too. Only I have about 70 pounds to lose..........yippie!!! I asked my Dr. if I could go on a diet.......and he politely said NO DIETS UNTIL YOU ARE DONE WITH THE CHEMO. I told him I had PLENTY of weight to play with.....wasn't like I was underweight or anything........he still said no. lol
Jane....I know the old fart filled poop all tooooo well. Been there done that......many times. My brother in law....and I use that term very losely because he is more like a brother than anything.....has never seen me bald. He has a horrible fear of seeing me like that. It has killed him that I have cancer...and he's cried many tears over it. He and my sister has been together since I was 3.......so I can't remember him ever NOT being in my family. Yesterday......I wore my boggin.......cause I knew my wig would aggravate me if I had to keep it on the whole day. I was getting really hot........so I took it off while he was out of the room. Then put it back on when I heard him coming. My sister kinda looked at him and said........I don't know what makes you so special that you don't have to see her bald like the rest of us do.......he just said I don't wanna see her like that. I guess that just makes him SEE how sick I am........some can handle it and some can't.
My hair is coming back in tho......haven't shaved my head in couple of weeks and it is growing like crazy......so I think I'm gonna just leave it alone and see what happens.
Hope you all have a wonderful day.......lookin forward to the phone call Jane!
love ya
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Holy Moly, girls...
We've fallen back to page 2! Bumping so we're easier to find.
Hope Christmas was wonderful for you all. *great big hugs*
Much love,
lei
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I was getting ready to send out a search party soon........lol.......where IS everyone???
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Wish I could say I was out having fun... just spent 2 days typing my little fingers off (for work). At least some part of me is getting exercise. LOL
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Well there's Lei...me....and Juli!!! Where's everyone else? Jane is heading home tomorrow.....from her son's. I talked to her.....so there's the 4 of us......come out come out wherever you are!!!!
Oh...and Miss Juli......I think you could put a feedsack on top of your head and look adorable!!! Honestly.......when I have my black taboggin on I look like a ganSTA!!! lolol
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Why thank you Miss Genia...My mom crocheted that black one and another one that I call my "blonde" hair. I'm developing quite a fascination for hats... picked up one with leopard spots today...Who needs hair anyway?
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MEEE.....I need hair. My temp just can't get regulated anymore. I put on my hats......and start burning up. Take them off......and freeze. I know why God gave us hair now......lol......for other reasons than makin us look pretty!!! But then I think of those EASY showers and not having to worry with my hair and I don't want it......lol.
You know us chemo chicks are hard to please!!!
Speaking of chemo.....got my 5th round tomorrow.......lookin so forward to that......not. Just got a taste of what it's like without it.......and I don't want anymore. Yesterday it was beautiful here. In the 70's......and I felt good....and sat down on my porch steps and started crying. I suddenly remembered what life was like WITHOUT cancer.....and it just made me want it back. Oh well......at least I had one good day of it yesterday. Guess I can't ask for more than that right now.
hugsssss.....love you guys
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genia- I am with you on the temp thing..the hats come on and off so much i can't keep up with them. I do like the no bad hair days.
I can't remember what my life was like before. I try not to dwell on it too much because I know that life is forever gone and i have to forge a new one. Oh well at least when tomorrow comes i can say that i made it to another birthday...big accomplishment huh??? Now the big challlenge will be making it to 12-29-09. You have to have a goal!
I hope everyone is doing well and has a Happy HEALTHY New Year in 2009!!
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Genia & Bettysgirl - I like the no bad hair days too! I'm all over the place with the hot/cold thing - especially at night - I know that it's chemopause, but it's still irritating. I also having trouble sleeping; takes me forever to get to sleep and then I wake up at ~ 0130. I'm exhausted!
What's the saying? "The past is history, the future's a mystery, today is the gift - that's why it's called the present." I'm trying to take each day as it comes - but boy, is it hard to do!
Hugs,
Donna
PS Juli - I agree with Genia - you'd look cute with anything propped on your noggin!
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Donna.....I'm doin the same thing with the sleeping. Last night I was tired.....so I went to bed around 10:30. At about 2:00.....I finally just got up. Hadn't been to sleep.....laid there and tossed and turned. I was up until almost 4......grrrrr......my mind just WILL NOT shut down and my temperature just will not regulate. I am just dreading these last two chemo treatments so bad....so that ain't helpin none either. After tomorrow I will just have ONE more......so that's all that keeps me goin. All I can say is chemo is DOABLE.....but not very! lol.......bitch moan groan!!!!!
So tomorrow is your Birthday BG??? I think I read that right.......if so HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....cause I know I'll forget it tomorrow.....lol. I have NO brain left now......thanks to all these toxic drug companies that are making a fortune on this crap.....lol.....but hey........it's keeping me alive, so I need to stop complaining. I should thank them I reckon........
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Lisa - Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear Lisa!!! Happy Birthday to you!!! and MANY MORE! (this is for tomorrow, because I, like Genia, might forget.
Thanks, Donna.
Genia & Donna - I take an Ativan every night to help me sleep. Seems to be working lately, been sleeping pretty well, even with the Taxol pain and "imaginary" nueropathy.
Genia - Good luck with 2nd to last tx tomorrow! Yay yay yay!
Spring - missing you! and your words of encouragement.
missing my taste buds too.
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Juli.....I take an ativan....doesn't seem to be workin for me anymore. Maybe I need TWO...lol. I'm prob building up a resistance to them.......been taking them for a while now. That's what the Dr. told me to take for the nausea........so they prob don't do much for sleep now.
He gave me an RX for ambien.....but I haven't gotten them filled yet.
And I miss ya too Spring........hurry back
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Genia - I was talking to a fellow chemo buddy during tx and she said she takes Ambien. One morning she woke up and discovered she had written out 9 Christmas cards in the middle of the night. She had no recollection of doing it, and had to open each one to make sure she had done them right. LOL. Also, she said another time, she woke up her hubby in the middle of the night and asked him if he wanted some pudding. She said she found an empty pudding cup and spoon next to her computer when she woke up, and didn't remember a thing about being up or eating it. LOL
My onc nurse says the ingredient in Benedryl that makes you sleepy is the same one in Tylenol PM. Have you tried either of those to help you sleep?
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Yes...I've taken Benedryl....and it works but I'm out. I need to go stock up on my drug bag......lolol. I no longer have a few bottles.......I have a bag!!!
Oh wow......don't think I want Ambien. I'd be runnin up and down the street naked! lol
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Betsygirl - We are birthday twins !!! I am 12-29 also. I was going to have a big get together since both by dd are here....but I'm just not feeling it ....I really want a little quality time with my dd from nashville....this is the first time I have seen her since my bc dx.
Genia - Ask Dr about ativan....could up the dose. If you decide to try the Ambien, do be careful. My dd and my dh both have gotton up and cooked, cleaned and other bizarre things in the night and not remembered. We found that the regular Ambien is less likely to cause this than the Ambien CR...Benedryl does work but it wears off in 4 hours...hence waking up.
Julie, I wish I was sleeping well too.....Genia and I are having the same problem. I stopped the Ativan (ran out) but the hot flashes are waking me up....haven't slept a whole night for about a week. My mind will not SHUT OFF!!! The taxol pain is also an issue. Tylenol and IB don't seem to help. My ovaries, my kidneys and my legs....just ache, and I get shooting pains. Taxol SUCKS!!! Oh well, just 6 more after Wed...
Genia I have also had the crying thing. Still afraid of the cancer winning. I can't imagine my parents if this were to happen. At 83 and 80 they have already lost 2 of their 3 kids. I am the last one.....I don't think they could take it....my dad really lost it when my second brother died he said, My kids aren't supposed to go before me.....it broke my heart. We should be happy at the holidays, but thinking about life before cancer, and what the possibilites to come are....just
makes for a tough day some times......bitch, whine, bitch.....Ok now I will stop !!!!
Happy New Year to all......Hopefully all of us will have a better 2009 !!!!
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Hi All!
I took a break from the computer - we had Christmas dinner here and although we got the basics from a store, there was still a lot to do! MyMIL and FIL were here and my poor MIL just had tonsils out and was miserable! She rallied though....
Sounds like more injuries!!! The movie chair!!! Good GRIEF!!! And I so wanted to see Benjamin Button!!! (Maybe I will make sure nobody is sitting in front on me!!!)
My butt is killing me - Fissure and hemarhoids (or however you spell that!). It is like adding insult to injury!!! At this point, I don't know what is most bothersome, having no hair, eyelashes, or sore butt, or deciding to I chemically shut down my ovaries or have them out? or thinking about Radiation! And all this with WORK in Jan! Some days, I think, oh WHATEVER.
But I am NOT giving up!!! I have had a lot of ANGER lately... Have any of you felt this? I think I was mad at God. But I have decided now to be mad at the cancer and mad at Satan. I read something that said if you can channel your anger, and hold onto it's "fight" in you, you have may have a better chance of survival... sounds crazy but what the hay! I am going to give it a try. Also, I heard lately that it takes as much energy to be anxious and upset as to believe you'll get well. So I am choosing to BELIEVE.
Have been thinking about you all!!! Love and kisses!!!!
Spring (Beverly)
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OK....so I'm NOT gonna take Ambien. That's stuffs scary......don't like to be outta control! And that would def. be outta control. lol
Good to see you Trude.....and Spring......missed you both.
I just need my benedryl.......take two and I'll sleep like a baby.
I swear I think I'm dreading tomorrow's chemo worse than the first one. I want this OVER with.....ya think they could just give me both treatments all rolled up into one tomorrow so I don't have to go back??? lol.......talk about a MEGA dose!!! I would be glowing for sure then.......too HOT to touch......lolol
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Hi guys! Been reading but just too sad to post! It has been a good holiday, but very sad without my mom, with cancer...I also cannot sleep unless I take Ambien. I have not done anything strange (to my knowledge!) and find I toss and turn all night without it. I also have terrible joint pain and nothing seems to help that! It seems to worsen when I walk alot during the day. I have been reading a book caled " I am NOT my breast cancer". It talks abt dx but also abt when treatment ends and what to expect. The whole process of every ache and pain being a return of bc, I could do without!
I ended up with a breast infection-back on antibiotics. Not sure why or where I picked it up. Just tired. Tired of being tired, tired of cancer, tired of life being the way it is.
Happy Birthday betseygirl and trudecox! Many more to both of you!
Anyone doing anything fun for New Year's??
D
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Thanks for the b-day wishes and HAPPY BIRTHDAY trudecox!!! I hope you have great day tomorrow too.
I took ambien years ago right after my mom died. Never did strange stuff but did wake up with alot of headaches. I take tylenol pm and so far it is working for me. I still have to get up in the middle of the night for a potty call and sometimes i am awake in spurts for an hour or so but i have always been a good sleeper.
Went to my MIL's house today. i didn't know it was planned but she made turkey and dressing again since i couldn't taste it Thanksgiving. (hitting a good time in the tastebuds and catching the food before they disappear again this week) MMMM she makes the best dressing and for me it is as good as dessert.
Spring- I have had some anger issues too. I don't think i am mad at God per se. In the beginning i was PO's that the tumor hid, then i was mad because of all the SE's to a MX they don't tell you about before, then i was mad at all the SEs from the chemo and i am not happy to have to be driving for six weeks (2hrs) for rads. BUT in the end we do what we have to do and you do have to find some way to deal with it. I am still mournful at all that my life has lost and all that i won't regain but i know that at least i have done all i can to deal with this monster....
and Juli you are just too cute in all your headgear!!! I wish i looked that good in my stuff..
Hey by the way my hair is growing back a little despite being on taxotere...surprise!!! The down side is that if i wear the wig it ITCHES like craazy now. It makes for long days at work!!!! BUT I am thankful it is trying to come back EVEN IF IT IS GRAYER THAN BEFORE!!!!!!!
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For sleep, I am still taking a half an Ativan and that works. I tried one night to skip it, NO GOOD! I finally took my half and went to sleep!!! Genia, I never had too much wiredness with Ambien. Once I woke up and was down at the bottom of the bed sort of and my DH had to encourage me to get back in. We totally cracked up about it the next day. He was like, "Why were you down at the foot of the bed" and I was, "What? I did that? Oh yeah, I sort of remember that now, I have no idea!!!"
Bettysgirl, you are right, we have to do it. I am also just SICK of it. It's been 6 months and I am just FED UP!!! But I will not GIVE UP!!!
Priz, I am sorry you are/were sad.
Happy Birthday Bettysgirl and Trudecox!
Spring.
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Myspace Happy Birthday GraphicsThis is for both of you....Trude and Lisa!!! Hope you have a wonderful Birthday....and many many more to follow!!! hugssssss....love ya both
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priz.......wish you felt better sweetie.
Make sure you finish all those antibiotics up.......hugsssss
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So glad to hear from you priz! I was wondering if you ended up with an infection or not. Sorry that was the case.
Hopefully your antiboitics will put things right and you'll be back on track! Sounds like a good one, but I've had to put the smack down on cancer books here the last few months. I think I hit maximum overload on advice and information. I mean I was getting enough outside books, online, doc, ect... I have got total escapism with my beloved books! Kind of a "CALGON, take me away!!" kind of thing.
On the whole sleeping thing. I've been waking up in the middle of the night for the past month or so myself, nearly every night. Between hot flashes and just waking up WIDE awake at 3 for no good reason. Sounds like Ambien could be scary.... although, I have to say that if I could wake up one morning and discover that I'd cleaned like mad woman in the middle of the night with no memory of it-- I'd be thrilled! I consider housework a necessary evil. lol
Happy Birthday BetsysGirl and Trude!! May this year be a better one than last!!
I go tomorrow for a bone scan. fun fun..
Much Love,
Lei
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Wow.
Hey, all of you ladies who take Ambien and then clean like a mad women in the middle of the night.... YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO A SLEEP OVER AT MY HOUSE!!!!
LOL!!!
Spring.
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Happy Birthdays Bettysgirl & Trude!!! My granddaughter's birthday is tomorrow also, she will be a year old.
Juli - thanks for sharing the ambien story - I'd heard that it can cause somnambulation.
I took Ambien CR 12mg for about 3 months in 2007. I did not have any midnight adventures (or any that I know of), but I stopped dreaming and became very depressed. I decided to research ambien cr and they have a disclaimer that says you should not take it for more than 7 nights in a row. My prescription read to take one each night. I stopped taking it and was awake for ~ 3 days; it was awful!
Lei - I'd be thrilled at having cleaned and laundered without recollection! I think that my laundry is procreating in the basket....bad laundry! If you don't mind me asking, why are you having a bone scan? Is it normal protocol for your onc?
Beverly - you need to whip out the Boudreaux (sp) Butt Paste - it saved my hiney!
Priz - I know it must be very sad for you, this being the first Christmas since your mother passed. My adopted mother passed 3 years ago the day after Christmas.
Genia - will you be doing a decadron taper - it really made a difference for me with my last tx. Only 1 more to go after tomorrow!!!!!!! I so wish for you an uneventful tx with no SEs! I'll be thinking about ya gf.
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Hey Beverly - it can be a progressive sleep over! LOL
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Wink,
Bordauex Butt paste? From whence does this miracle cream come??? And is that really what it is called???
Progressive Sleep over and "mad house cleaning" LOL LOL LOL
Spring. (Beverly)
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