Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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This I think is a bit long, but so wonderful ideas in here:
A Recipe For Life
HOPE EVERY ONE ENJOYS THEIR DAY TODAY!
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day (if you can). And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree todisagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is allabout.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will thismatter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends/family will. Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for_________. Today I accomplished______.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it."Success isn't getting what you want, it's enjoying what you have."0 -
Good morning today. I remember a lot of those "oldies" since I am one too.....but I think someone here already said.....I don't feel my age ( the actual age ) very much because I don't have the program that says how it really goes. In truth.....I don't think anyone ever wrote that down. I think it more goes something like this ++++++ a number is just a number and it is going to mean more that I live as much as I can, do what I can for others as well as myself, accept a flow of energy and use it well...............take time for joy and give as much of that away to others as I can and be grateful for my blessings.
But....oh how I remember Loretta Young. I thought no one was prettier and when she walked down that staircase --- I think she was my first real memory of what I thought of as glamourous sophistication. This is bearing in mind that back when we got our first t.v. ( and we were the first in our tiny town of 200 people ) there was only one station that was close enough to us ( 70 miles away ) with a tower large enough to send a signal......and there was only a couple of channels at that, which could make it. So....there were a good deal of viewing limitations in those days.
Later Doris Day, Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor -- that group became the names to watch. It is hard to think of myself as BT --- before television, but I was. Probably did as much to contribute to my heath than I ever knew. We were outside on all good days ( after house chores ) doing whatever kids to find to do.......picking wild berries, hunting four leaf clovers, playing endless games of hop-scotch.....and if I wan't riding my bike I was running everywhere I went. Boy have things changed --- and I have had the honor and privilege to be a part of all of it. I saw polio eradicated, men not only fly to the moon but walk on it, some of the first huge business computers and so many other things. One very, very important thing to me....I saw my mother look at me deeply with such total love in her eyes and she surely helped me so much be who I am today. How can I ever than her !!!!
I hope you all have a beauty of a day today. Life is good.
Hugs, Jackie
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No wonder we thought she was georgeous.
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Jackie: Thanks for those lessons to live by...they are good ones to remember. One of these days, with her permission, I will post tips for daily living that I got from the blog of a young single mom living with stage IV bc. She wants to live long enough to see her DD grown and I believe it will happen.
I pray that one of these new cancer vaccines can see the light of day in time to help these very young women who are trying to raise their families. It would be a blessing from God!
Happy Sunday...God is good!
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Oh goodness - I'd forgotten about Loretta Young. How can we say Jeanette MacDonald without saying Nelson Eddy? Oh my - can we slip sideways into Sgt Preston of the Yukon?
Chevy - thanks for the Darrell Scott link. Good sounds. Dare we say "cool" or will we risk dating ourselves?
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All those names and stars I remember. Tonite when superbowl was on (not a big fan, family is) I remembered watching the first one. We are on #46, oh my goodness. Its not bad being older if you feel good and do things. We have seen so many advances and problaby will see a lot more in our time. Since we are all on computers it means we keep up which is good. Everyone have a nice day
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I watched the half time show. Thought Madonna looked the same as always, but a little slow on the uptake these days! Well, aren't we all! Still, a good performance, and she sang a couple of her old songs.
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Jackie: I sure hope so, cause I entered that tamoxifen cave last night, and I hope it holds the treasure to keeping my bc at bay! I don't know why it bothered me so much, but I just hated swallowing that pill! I still woke up this morning...just like always!
Have a wonderful day...it's raining cats and dogs here, but we sooo need it! My flowers are crying..thank you!
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Good morning from foggy southern Illinois. Obviously enough warmth going on to cause some fairly thick fog. It sort of reminds me of some of the old horror movies -- Bela Lugosi type. We did/do live in a great time. We chatted a bit here before about the 60's and love-ins and flower power.
I am glad Super Bowl has come and gone. I basically spent the time installing a new virus protection on my compuer.....and since I am not a nerd.....I used up all but the last few minutes of the game....so did see the final moments. Of course that meant that I missed half-time but just as well. There was an obscene gesture the news reported this morning. I guess something like the "wardrobe malfunction" of an earlier time. They were not able to 'snip' it out fast enough....REALLY. Can't say I believe that. So glad we can get on to more normal things.
I hope you are all going to have a fantastic day. I'll be back later on.
Hugs, Jackie
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Me too Jackie! I watched it off and on, and it really WAS a good game.... I guess that rapper left the bird fly, but I didn't notice it...So much going ON there, and WOW the noise! What a production! Madonna is Madonna....never cared for her very much....but that's just me....and my age I guess.
I've been "reading" all morning....going through the threads, and the news, and links, and it's still so amazing that we have all this at our fingertips! And yes, I'm surprised that those of us over 60-70 know enough to figure ANY of this out...Ha!
I knew NOTHING about computers 20 years ago! I just bought a used one at the flea-market for $100, with a printer. And started from there.... I didn't have anyone to "show" me how, but you learn by doing I think....And the number one thing I learned was you don't have to download every program, every game that is out there! Man, I had that first computer so filled up, but I thought it was like being in Alice in Wonderland....
Now I am proficient enough that I can find my way out of problems myself, or go nuts trying to figure it out......But you can LEARN so much!
Okay, that's my report and technology update....
My DH just "fixed" our kitchen faucets!!!!!!!! Oh my God, I didn't think they would EVER work again! We just needed a new "sprayer"....So he replaced that, and THEN we could get NO water up through the faucet! Just a trickle! So this morning he took the d*** faucet apart, and cleaned out those jillion parts, and got the rust out, and it WORKED! Man, sometimes I think he is a genius! sometimes...... just KIDDING! I just hate when things like that go wrong!
Okay..."gotta celebrate water from the faucet" morning.
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Good morning Ladies,
Maybe some good news here. I stayed home from work last Thursday. I took my Med Thursday evening with dinner, and about 2 hours later hurting like H and decided I did not think I could do this. Took it again on Friday and 2 hours later no pain, thought what is going on. Took it Sat and no pain. Took it last night and had a little pain, but I was very tired. If it will stay this way I will be able to tolerate it, except for the burning pain in my back. It bothers me the worst in the evening when I am getting tired. Will see ONC next Monday and discuss back pain. I have noticed since I take it in the evening my mind is better during the day.
Hope you are all having a good day.
Chevy wish we had some of your snow.
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Mommarch....you are more than welcome to our snow, Ha! Still have about 4 feet piled up in our back garden area...
I clicked your name, and see you mostly post on this forum....me too! I don't know how some gals keep track of posting on every thread, even if the subject has nothing to do with their type of cancer.. Maybe it's also because I cannot contribute anything, which I know nothing about.
I mean I READ the other threads, but I can't post there, because how can I help anyone going through chemo, stage lV, etc.? I CAN learn a lot, by reading our gals who are having a much harder time than I have had...... And for them, I can only offer them support, and compassion, but none of my ideas on what they should do.
Just MHO...
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Did any of you gals see this? It almost makes you cry.... I am so lucky that this doesn't compare to me at all..... It's like the difference between... oh never mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZwpSwm_4as&feature=share
"There, but by the grace of God, go I"........
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Kaara, I went into the cave awhile back in Aug. Other than blood clots and uterine cancer tamoxifen seems to be a good pill with a good track record. Have had a few little things with it but not much. The other AL's crippled me and this does not. I do take an asprin with it to combat blood clots if they arise. When I take the pill I lean back, close my eyes and imagine it chasing down cancer cells all over my body. This makes it a good thing.
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jennifer1: Great visualization technique, and a positive way to deal with it! I am going to try that...thanks for the suggestion!
Night all!
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Oh Chevy --- I saw that a couple days ago. Let me tell you......this woman has it going on....but then she went thru the mill and she isn't about to make it a walk in the park because for her it wasn't. It is hard for us -- even when we read up on what some of these things are like to actually know how it feels......what your thoughts are, and I do think that is why it is even hard to connect really well with some of our loved ones, or friends. If you haven't really been there....then it is hard to know........and while we may think we know how someone feels....I'm not sure we do. For instance --- part of my time doing chemo.....I just wanted to get thru the next ten minutes....but once the worst was past.....I still struggled, but it was so much lighter and easier. Still....most of the whole time period....I put on a happy face --- it was easier to deal with the people I had too. The face inside just wasn't that happy..........but thank heavens.....we have a beginning, middle and end.....we aren't in limbo land forever.
So...hats off to that gal. She knows what she is talking about and I think she stood up every well to Komen.
I'm dragging after a long day....but I'll be back tomorrow.
Hugs, Jackie
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I also applaud that woman's bravery. I could not believe how insensitive people are with some of the comments they made to her.
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I was just in a bad mood yesterday...... My Brother's Grand-son, is in a lot of trouble...... And he called me just choked up & spilling it all out & trying not to cry..... His Grand-son is in a mental Hospital right now.... My Brother has been trying to help him since his Mom died, a couple years ago..... His Mom was my Brother's Daughter, the one that died after a 12 year battle with breast cancer with mets....
The kid just went nuts....His Dad has always been an alcoholic, never a Father to him....and the boy has gone downhill for two years...drugs, alcohol, probabation, drugs, violence....And the latest was the FB postings to his girlfriend threatening to kill her, AND my Brother...
My Brother called the cops, and he sat in jail....Fought with another inmate....Got into more trouble.... He can't go home, because there is no home anymore. They wanted my Brother to take him in, but he just can't do it any more.... So my Brother is a sobbing mess....
They took him to a mental Hospital..... God, I hope they can get a hold of this kid and pick him up from this black hole he is in.....
How can I help my "little" Brother, who feels like it is his obligation to help his Daughter's Son, who has gone off the deep end? I just sat there, listening, choking back tears, trying to be the strong one... I feel like we are kids again, but this time we are older, and our Parents can't fix this.
They all watched his Mom fight the longest battle...I just posted about her...and her 12 year fight! She passed away about 3 years ago I think....She left that Husband and Son each one hundred thousand dollars...And it is gone. The house, the car, the many bikes the kid bought...and now they have thrown away their lives.... And my Brother is so involved in helping this kid, that he feels like he should always be there for him.
So it's hurting him to the core....to let go....at least until the kid gets help. They all tried intervention once with his Dad...... didn't help.... Okay, sorry....just had to talk to "someone"...
Jackie, since I have known you, I would not have thought you went through all that you did. You always have this positive attitude...But you let us all in on one of the darkest parts of your life! You don't dwell on what HAS happened... and you just go on, offering compassion and tid-bits on how you can maybe make someone elses life easier.... about everything!
Dreamers...I had never seen what a mastectomy looks like...until that film. Or have I, and I just don't keep it in my head? But so many women, have gone through so much, and this just brings us all closer together.... I can feel that woman's pain and her anger... She has reached out to all of us...
Geez, I gotta make this a better day.... Woke up to yet another 8 inches of snow! I think we are being "punked"....!!!! I knew it was going to be a long cold snowy Winter, because the squirrels around here look like little bears!
And it's NOT because we keep feeding them....is it? 0 -
Kaara, I felt the same way the first morning I took "the little white pill," arimidex. I soon started taking it at night because taking it in the morning made me feel about a hundred years old. It doesn't matter how old you feel when you're sleeping! Good luck with taking tamoxifen.
We had a nice cool night last night, in the 40's. I love sleeping when it's chilly enough to snuggle under the cover. I have no commitments today. Later I may go out to the golf course and play 9 holes by myself. I can walk and get some exercise as well as a little practice. It has been wet and I didn't play at all last week.
Of course, there's lots to do here at home if I get ambitious.
Hope everyone has a good day.
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Chevy: I'm so sorry you are going through this...it is just heartbreaking when a child goes off the deep end in spite of everything we do to help them grow up responsibly. I don't have the answer, but I will say that hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel and if the young man can get the love and support that he obviously feels he is missing out on, he may come out on the other end and be a fine responsible member of society. As much as you would like to just walk away and write him off as a lost cause, it's important, at least in the first offense, to give him support. When I say support, I don't mean enablement to cover up his mistakes or make excuses for him, I mean unconditional love and support so that he can get the help he needs.
My youngest went through a time in his life like this. He finally ended up doing something really stupid and had to serve time in jail. It was one of the darkest times in my life...I thought I had lost him forever, but miraculously he came through it a better person, and today he is the best son a mother could wish for. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me or any of our family. He still has issues that will be with him for the rest of his life, but he manages very well and I'm proud of him.
Never give up on a child..be there for your brother when he needs you. That's all you can do for him right now. Hopefully his GS will get the help he needs, and when he comes out of his fog, and is sober, there will be loved ones who can reinforce how much he is loved. It may make a difference.
Sending you prayers and hugs!
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"A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition."
-- William Arthur Ward0 -
Morning....Chevy, you always make me feel about 10 feet tall my friend. Actually, I think we all go through a lot....many difficulties --- but we work hard to keep it looking simple because for one thing....no one is going to borrow it from us and do the hard parts...so you just dig in and find a way to sugar coat it till you can get out the other side of it.
Also.....I didn't think about some of the other things I went through....but for some reason....doing my cancer journey.....and getting to the other side made me so proud of myself. The other things were just things that I had to deal with.....but I saw this one as something that could steal my life if I wasn't really diligent and I knew going in I was going to have to make choices about which EVIL would do me the most good. So out of harsh difficulty came a great sense of accomplishment -- I made those hard choices -- because they had a PROVEN track record of blind studies that other women went through for years.....so I could avail myself of the best possible answers.
Now then sweets.....I hope your brother can be strong -- he needs to take his life back to himself and let GS know that he has been making choices and it is time to come to grips with them....so far they all seem pretty negative....but no one forced him, no one MADE him choose what he did. We are all responsible for our own life.....and yes, the GS had some bad upsets in his life, but it is just as easy to do right as wrong....good choices, in place of bad. I hope GS is able to get "clean" enough to see that he has been in charge up to now and this is where it has taken him. No one else did it....so he needs to be in charge now of cleaning it all up. It is not going to be an easy road for anyone -- but he is the one who has to do it....no one can do it for him. Grampa needs to try and love him dearly but let him know that he has two feet to stand on and that time is now.
Hugs, Jackie
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Thanks Kaara....I know my Brother will always "be there" for him, if only the kid will realize that he is the only one who will be. I sent my Brother a long email, telling him it is not his fault, that he did everything he could, by trying to stay close to him, help him, take him places after his Mom died. His worst feeling is that his Grandson has no place to go "home to"....
His Dad is just "lost" somewhere....in some kind of alcoholic stupor.... and drugs.
This went on even while his wife was fighting cancer....he used to steal her pain meds, until she had to wear a fanny pack to bed, to keep them safe with her.... She had brain mets, but she still tried to hold things together, and watch over their Son....
What's ironic is, my Brother went through all of this with HIS Son! It took years and years to just finally "let go!" Being homeless, drinking, with his State Aid money, drugs....Until they had to just let it go. His Sister, the one that died, finally took over and helped him realize that life isn't owed to you...that you have to let others run your life...So she took over as "guardian" or something? The state aid would go to her, and she would dole it out to him...And this turned him around. He couldn't manage ANYthing himself.
So hopefully SOMEthing will make this kid straighten up.... You are very lucky Kaara....honestly. Because a happy ending doesn't always happen, as much as we want it to.
It's just such a burden on our States, that these people, for whatever reason refuse to take responsibility, and go to the State for help! We all know of cases where it isn't needed, that people just don't want to work! And "Disability" is used more than it should be.
Sorry....I just think of things that seem so hopeless.... Still snowing here... Now about 10 more inches, on top of the 18 inches a few days ago!
I guess I will crochet, and read....
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I am so sorry you are going through this, I raised two grandboys who gave me nothing but grief for their teenage years. The older one is 21 now and married and does just ok but stays out of trouble and presented me with a greatgrand child that I adore. The 18 year old is locked up in a juvinelle facility and doing well and I know he is safe. Sometimes that is all you can hope for.
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jennifer1: Amen to that! The five years my son was locked away, at least I knew where he was and that he was getting fed three times a day. I prayed that God would keep him safe and my prayers were answered. Do you think all the stress we've been through might have somehow contributed to our now having bc? I would never say this to anyone outside this site, least of all my kids, but sometimes I wonder.
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I know.... It is all just so sad..... I know so many families who go through this...but it is just heart-breaking! I just hope they can keep that kid somewhere long enough to make him get help with his drugs/drinking/attitude problems. He has no home to go to, anyway..... His Dad lost all of that.
Sorry Jennifer.... There is only so much that Parents, or Grand-Parents can do...then it's time to let go, and let the kids find their own way.... Hopefully without bringing down the whole family....
Sometimes there is just no answer..... I'm glad you guys are here to talk to....xoxoxo
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Chevy: Maybe your brother can get him into a rehab facillity where he can get some counseling and job skills. My other DS used to direct a program like that, and they took people off the streets that had no place to go and rehabilitated them and got them back into mainstream society. Many of them went on to lead very successful lives. They just need a place where someone can monitor them closely and give them guidance. It was a live in program, and they could only leave the facility to go to work. They had to agree to stay for at least six months. Many were there longer.
These programs are usually run by the county and funded from both government and private donations.
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Kaara, I did ask my doctor that question. Did the stress cause this. Her answer was that when your body fights stress its fighting just like any disease so when something else is present to fight your body splits its fighting ability. Hope that made sense, by the way my shrink was the one that told me this. Women seem to be the ones most of the time that take on the worry of children, my husband lives in outer space when it comes to the kids. That is not clear cut answer however sure keep stress levels low in my home now. Also told me babies and puppies keep your stress level low and I did a bio-feedback course in order to lower mine. That does work because I keep blood pressure in check with it so I dont have to take anymore pills.
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Thanks Kaara...I will ask him about that....good idea! At THIS point, he has to get into some sort of re-hab. Sometimes, like my Brother, he is so involved and in the middle of this, he can't think straight...and so many hurt feelings......
I'll email him, and see if that is possible.... The State, or County would be able to direct him in the right direction anyway.... I don't know anything about the mental Hospital he is at, or who funds it??? I know he has no insurance....
I just emailed him, and gave him this information....I hope it helps! Sounds like a solution, if that is at all possible!
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