Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Chevyboy, I think Illinoislady was right. Your brother's GS needs to accept his responsibility in this. It is really hard to watch them screw things up so badly . My oldest son would never accept any responsibilty for his actions and made one one bad decision after another. The final one cost him his life. I felt so overwhelmed by his death that I went overboard in trying to see that his brother didn't make bad decisions. That certainly backfired as he rarely makes decisions at all and just floats along. He has some medical disabilty pay that he gets monthly from the military but it is not enough to live on. He keeps saying he will go back to school. He is 41. After my diagnosis I finally told him he would have to step up because we weren't going to keep paying his bills. Time will tell.
Best to all.
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I totally agree... His Grandson HAS to accept responsibility for himself...and quit expecting his Grandfather to keep bailing him out! I think my Brother is done with it... I hope anyway.
I don't see the Grandson doing anything good in his life, without rehab of some sort...I'm sorry Dreamers.... I'm just sorry.... It's like you just have to let it go...and leg God....
You would think that along the line somewhere, we would not feel responsible for these "kids'.... whether they are our own, or our Grand-kids. But it's just in our hearts, to always hold on..... and hope! I'm glad you aren't paying his bills!
My Brother has to realize that there is only so much he can do, and then let it go.... thanks you guys.... xoxoxo
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Chevy: I called my son and asked him. He said that if your nephew is in a mental health facility, they will usually not release him unless he has a place to go, and if he doesn't, then they will arrange for him to go to an outreach facility of some kind if he is indigent. At least that is the way it works in Florida.
Make sure your brother doesn't agree to take him in when he gets out...he would be better off getting some help in a facility that knows how to deal with this kind of problem.
Yes..at some point you do have to let go and let God! Prayers and hugs!!
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He just sent an email & said they were releasing him tomorrow, and he didn't know where he would go....I sent him the suggestion you mentioned......I told him to call the facility, and tell them he was indigent........Hoping that will help! I know he won't go back to his Grand-pa's!
He has to take him Thursday for a hearing, then again for a different one the next week! He is in a LOT of trouble....
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BC and lymphedema. Well I had two lumps removed one on each side, left was larger and involved lymphnodes and of course got lymphedema however the right breast whiich had a very small spot removed is the breast I am having trouble with. I had lymphedema in the left side (trunkal) but that is under control. The right side has had cellutitus x2 and now lower breast area has lymphadema.
I think the point of this is that it dont matter about the nodes, its the radiation damage that causes lymphedema and cellutitus. Anyone have anything on this??? Just a little sick of things swelling.
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I may be talking without knowing a word of what I'm actually saying....but Jennifer....I think it's both.....the nodes are there to drain bad things away.....so when one or more are removed....you don't have the channels anymore to drain foreign substances away. Then, if you add in some damage from rads. Most of the time I do believe the RO's try very hard to target the radiation so that is does not "get to" places where it can encourage problems ---- but there are many, many people walking around with LE.
I keep my fingers crossed as no one seems to know just what circumstances start that ball rolling. I think on part of BC.Org there is surely a LE sight which should give you tons of info.
I only has 3 Sentinel nodes taken out.....so I'm hoping that I never face that part. We just never know.
Wishing you all well....I'm off to jump into pj's and kick back for the evening. Hope you are all going to have a wonderful night and a beauty of a day tomorrow.
Hugs, Jackie
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Thanks, I just spent a couple of hours reading that forum. Seems like it just the "the gift that keeps on giving" BC. Did very well with surgery clean margins. Did well with chemo but radiation just about did me in and that was the part I throught would be easier. I have those swell spots to wear at nite and hopefully manual drain will get this. My machine is for the other side which is fine. In my heart I didnt think it was cancer but that does cross ones mind.
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Sorry Jennifer..... Sounds like Jackie directed you to the right place. Have you posted them your problems? I know you will get a lot of answers... I have heard that any of us, can get Lymphedema at any time.... So we are told to always wear garden gloves, and sleeves when we fly, etc.
We're always here to talk... I mean this whole forum is.
Kaara...that's who my Brother has been talking to.... So who knows what will happen next. Sounds like the Grandson is going to do whatever he wants to do now, and my Brother better just let it all go.
The kid won't listen to anyone .... and I think if my Brother holds on, he is going to go nuts. I would let the authorities handle it all from now on....
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Chevy: If your nephew is still a minor, your brother can Baker Act him and have him confined regardless of his personal wants; however, if he's an adult, all you can do is advise him..the rest is up to him. He has to agree to get treatment.
It sounds like he is headed for confinement down the road anyway, so better to just let him hit bottom, get put away for a while, and pray that it cleans him up and he can think clearly enough to make some good decisions about his life. The problem is that when one is on drugs, they don't think clearly, and you can't reason with them. All they are looking for is that next hit. They have to be somewhere so that they can't get access to drugs. When he comes out of his fog, everyone can write him letters expressing their love and support ...provided he stays clean and sober.
When my son got out of prison, I told him that as long as he stayed on the straight and narrow path, I would always be there for him, but if he strayed again, I would not, and to not even call me. That was 15 years ago, and fortunately, I have never had to carry out that threat. Sometimes I still have dreams about standing in the line at the prison in the hot Florida sun, waiting for my turn to visit. What a humbling experience that was...I often wondered who was getting punished...him or me:( I learned some good lessons about life and what really matters. I also learned about patience and humility. In the end it made me a better person, so there was a lesson there for me as well.
I pray your nephew finds the right path before it is too late, and that your brother has the strength to do what he must do to help make that happen.
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jennifer....glad you went to that Forum and read on the LE. Unfortunately.....bc for the most part really does have so many faucets to it. I was astounded by the number of the people that have gotten it....often seems the more lymph nodes, the more chance.....since the channels of lymph drainage are inclined to behave oddly and bad when enough disturbance comes there. This whole site is a very informative one.
We do tend to want to keep supporting loved ones in life, and even more at times the 'kids' of the family......sometimes, they just don't do well and nothing we do seems to make enough difference. You know if you are effecting change for the better. It is sad to watch, painful to feel but at some point....you really do have to SAVE yourself.
I hope we all have the strength to know how far to go and when to back off......
See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Well its all good again, wore those swell spot breast pads and swelling down. They add a couple inches and had to wear them to court this am with hubby. At least they didnt fall out cause I wear them with a tube top, bras hurt my shoulders. Anyway just another day in the life of a bc survivor.
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jennifer....I had been told, that just because I did not have any positive lymph nodes, that I could still develop lymphedema somewhere down the line. So even when you feel that you are getting better, continue the "treatment" as long as you can....
Are your tube tops comfortable? Have you tried the wire-free front-hook closure bras? They are better for me, because it's too hard to get everything over and down, when I put them on over my head... My shoulders don't always go where I want them to.....
Kaara.... I think he is over 18.... But I'll ask! I think my Brother will come to the realization that whatever he does, is not going to help.... I would like to beat that kid senseless, but I don't think we can do that..... or can you? JUST kidding.....
For all the crap he puts everyone through....and for threatening his girl-friend, knowing that a restraining order will NOT protect her, he deserves time away from EVERYone..... And it's only a matter of time. He and his drunken Father live in the house, that is foreclosed on....they just haven't been kicked out yet.....I thought the house was gone....
I don't know WHERE they get the money to smoke, snort and drink! Not to mention EATING!
My heart just goes out to the women who have gone through this.... I don't know what I would do! As much as you try to help, sometimes it's just not enough, and out of your hands.... It seems so hopeless right now... but life goes on.....
Geez that's right Jackie....To know how far you can go, and when to back off.... I'll write him that.
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The courts may order him into a drug rehab facility like they do the celebrities...won't be as nice though! He may get the option of choosing that instead of going to jail which would make it a more desirable option. All you can do is hope he comes to his senses.
I spent the day with my precious DGD at the playground! She is so delightful and curious about everything. She wore herself out...didn't even cry when we took her home...usually she throws a fit. I really enjoy them when they're this age...they love you so unconditionally! The older ones...not so much...they call me when they really need something...like money! They can be so self absorbed.
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Kaara, little ones are wonderful. We have a greatgrandson that is 9 months old and adore him. He laughs and plays and gives kisses. I got him when I ended treatment, he was a gift. Do I ever agree about the older ones, we are going to the poor house because of them. I am looking at rv's today, just a dream, going to run away and hide from them.
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My DB and his wife are taking that damn kid to court today.... I just sent him an email asking him if the court will give him a choice of either rehab or jail....
We are soooooo lucky, with our GrandSons AND our Daughters for that matter.... Just talked to our birthday boy, 26 last night! What a joy to be part of their lives, and just talk to them about "nothing"..
It's like it just makes your heart smile! xoxoxo
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Heaven ne'er helps the man who will not help himself.
SophoclesThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao TzuIndustry is the parent of success.
Spanish Proverb0 -
Hello everyone. I am sending belated Happy New Year greetings and good vibes and prayers for all good things. Not a lot going on in my life. All doctor visits, scans and tests are "normal", but I have to tell that Medicare ( I am 66) denied my annual gyn and pap smear due to "age inappropriate"..... I still have the parts and last year I had a benign polyp - but my supplement did pay. Is this the new wave of health "reform" ??
The snow did not arrive last night, so everyone is bummed out because they did not cancel or delay work or school. I reminded them of last year when we had over 20 inches of snow. Gentle hugs for all, Nancy
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jennifer1: My DGGD is 9 months old as well! My first great grandchild. She is a joy as well...so good and happy all the time. Yes..we run away every summer..up to NC! I sit on the deck, look out at the mountains, and meditate. Such a beautiful peaceful place! It was a dream of ours and we made it a reality. I'm glad we did.
Chevy: Hopefully your brother will get this sorted out with his GS...get him in a facility and then he can get some relief from the stress! If he's been violent and is on drugs I don't think the court will just turn him loose to create more chaos. That would be a total lack of responsibility on their part. There have been just too many mishaps from letting mentally unfit people walk free without treatment. Hopefully they get a good judge who will see this.
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Gram/Nancy....how great to see you. Glad things are going ok.....though I know there is usually a little un--exhaled breath while we wait for results to come back on things.
I too worry how things will change as we go along -- I am concerned that even the allowable things will have a longer time period in-between. Sort of makes you think of giant Roulette with the poor and the older definitely coming up on the short end. I hope I am really wrong about that.
We continue to have one of the strangest winters on record. Well, actually.....we haven't had one and it is getting pretty late for it now. I think all that might come now is a freak snow at an odd time.
I'll see you all in the morning.....I'm off to my recliner.
Hugs, Jackie
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Are we old? Turning 60 but I had no idea. Finances are out of control,every time I turn around,the med establishment has their hand out. Downpayments for surgeons,medical bills in the mail, MRI charges, imaging charges, admissions fees to the hospital(oh really that is too much,do they consider being wheeled from the ICU to the regular hosp room an amusement ride at the Disney Park?!!) Wow,the male response is a hoot,take off the arms&legs so they dont get cancer.OMG,I am still laughing. I know we do get aggravated with the guys and they better keep their dr appt,they can get testicular cancer,prostate cancer and others and they can get implants to replace their parts its just not common. Why are so many women getting cancer? Hope you are doing good, I go for surg on Monday and TE. Just because someone is few yr older than me does not mean she cant get the reconstruction,Its your right,Former Pres Clinton signed the bill in 1998 that the insurers have to pay for that. Its a woman's right if she wants it. Some on these boards dont and thats their right to their decision. Each person finds their own happiness and what they are comfortable with. How dare any dr say someone is too old or its not age appropriate!??Thats age discrimination!
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good for you gram, have my parts too. You are a couple of years ahead of me so you give hope that this is over for awhile. Tonight I went to bingo and met a veteran who had just had his leg removed, dibetic and throught wow maybe you are not so bad off. He was very upbeat, about my age. Guess we could have other things that are just as bad.
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layla, agree what people want and do are their choices. And everyone has their hands out, has anyone noticed that groceries have gone up alot. Everything has gone up alot.
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I am now reading Dr. Christine Horner's book "Waking The Warrior Goddess". She is the doctor who was behind the bill that President Clinton signed giving women the right to reconstruction paid for by their insurance, as well as Medicaid. In the 90's the insurance companies decided that to save money, they would decline paying for reconstruction because the breast is not an essential organ! As a young PS, this was outrageous in her mind, so she took on the good ole boys in Wash DC and won!
This book is a good read, and filled with ways that you can put your body in optimal condition to fight bc return with diet and supplementation, along with conventional treatments.
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Pain shared is pain lessened; joy shared is joy increased. Thus do we refute entropy.
Spider Robinson
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Good morning everyone. Been watching some snow out of my office window....it is not sticking and none will as it will get to 40 today as our basically non-winter, winter continues. I know what will happen here.....it will turn to rain and I'm not too thrilled. Too many gray days this winter.
One thing we can always count on in this world is change, and higher prices. Some of it will be difficult and some of it is scary......I do know as far as procedures and surgeries, we ladies have to maybe take into account that as we age things become a little riskier. We should have the right to what we feel best addresses our needs as a total person......but have to be fair and flexible if some of the answers we may get may not make us happy. I have been fortunate in that I trusted my Dr.'s greatly......and we can always get second opinions.
We are allowed if we wish to not always use their advice. I changed two items in my tx plan. I did not take the statin drug prescribed for me when my cholesterol went up for the first time in my life after starting my Arimidex......I took a natural product and avoided the se's of statin drugs and I did not begin on drugs for bones when my very first bone density test showed osteopenia. That was due to the fact that a huge amt. of women my age tend to have osteopenia....and could have it for many years before it changed....if it ever does. So, until I know it is changing....I'm not up for se's of bone-building drugs. I will take either or both.....but only when I absolutely have too.
I hope you are all going to have a really good day. See you later.
Hugs, Jackie
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My doctor also had me on satins and blood pressure meds when I was dx. My onco took me off both while I was in treatment, chemo lowered bp. I was never really high just slightly over her standards. After treatment I lost weight and everything went back except my bp gets high when I am upset. I did go to bio-feedback to learn to lower it naturally. Somewhere way back I read that the bp med fueled breast cancer. Taking too many meds is not happening here. A baby asprin for blood clots, vit D and tamoxifen, enough.
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We're having a drizzly, gray, chilly day. I played 9 holes of golf this morning and quit before the rain started. From the golf course, I drove to Walmart's to buy my mother's weekly groceries. There were school buses in the parking lot and when I entered the store, I saw that it was jammed with people including children. I asked a man what was going on. He replied that there was going to be a parade inside the store. Something to do with fundraising for handicapped kids.
I left and drove to a nearby supermarket. After I did the shopping, i bought roast beef poboys from a great hole-in-the-wall poboy place, dropped one off at my house for dh's lunch and took the other two to my mother's house for our lunch. The roast beef is cooked daily and is delicious, sliced thin and doused with gravy. Yum. Yum.
I'm very grateful for the medical care I've received since my bc diagnosis.
Hope everyone has had/is having a good day.
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Jackie - snowing in Indiana near the lake. Expecting 6 inches, so winter has returned. Last week there was a large flock of 20 - 30 robins YES! ROBINS in February in our highbush cranberry trees. I told them to go back south! A few weeks before that there were robins and cedar waxwings together, only 6 or so robins then.
I'm fairly new to bc.org. Age 54, 55 end of March. Dx last year, found invasive fast growing mass in July. Being sick and not knowing what 'IT' was aged me, knowing and using alternative therapies to recover has made me younger. But for awhile I felt like I was 95, said I would not make it more than a few years at that rate. Now feel better than in 6 years I think.
I'll stop in from time-to-time.
Diane (Essa, nickname) call me whatever
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Since I'm 68 I guess I'm one of the "older" ones. I have medigap insurance through AARP. It's not cheap but fortunately it has paid for most of what Medicare doesn't cover. Even on regular insurance before Medicare, I never had a problem w/routine GYN exam even though I had a hysterectomy when I was just over 40. I was lucky that the only thing totally denied was the bone scan for osteoporosis more than every other year - & I was diagnosed with osteopenia before BC.
Hope the day brings what you need most & thanks for your posts.
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