Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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It has not been a very good 2 days here. We received word late yesterday afternoon that my husbands youngest son from his first marriage was found dead in his apartment in Corpus Christi. A couple of friends had not seen him around for a day or so, so they went by his apartment and could see him laying on the bed through the window but could not get him to answer the door, so they called the police. He has been an addict all his teen and adult years and has been estranged from us for several years, but it is still a shock. We always expected to get a call that someone had killed him. Now his addiction is gone and he will be at peace. They are doing an autopsy either today or Monday, we will have a cremation done and a memorial service when we can get all the kids in one place for a few days. My husband is going to College Station, TX to our sons house tomorow and then they will go to Corpus on Sunday and get his personal belongings. I have to have the mamo on Tuesday so I will stay home and go and have it done. It seems like it never ends at our house.
Hope your day is going good
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mommarch: That is so sad! There could be nothing worse IMO than losing a child. My heart goes out to you both. Hopefully he is finally at peace. Prayers and hugs to you and your DH.
I woke up with a little cold today...you would think with all the vitamins I'm taking that wouldn't happen! I missed my day with my DGD because I didn't want to infect her and the rest of the family. Hopefully it will be better soon.
Happy Friday everyone!
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Mommarch, that is so sad, sorry for the loss
Everyone have a nice day
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Is it just me ....?
--or do buffalo wings taste just like chicken?
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Momarch, So sorry to hear about your loss. Our oldest son lost his battle with his demons in 1998.
Take care
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I'm so sorry Marcha.....even though you live with this high possiibility of this loss occuring.....there is a sting when the reality actually hits. I too hope he has found peace from the constant need that was such a huge part of his existence. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Hugs, Jackie
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I do not know what to say except My Deepest Sympathy. Prayers go up for you and your family.
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Monarch,
I hope, with time, the pain of his addiction and tragic death, can be replaced.with happy memories of the son he once was.0 -
Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. ~Terri Guillemets
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Good Saturday morning everyone....I'm seeing some sun and hope it stays and gets brighter. I'm sure it is going to be a good day.
Kaara....you are right. It does seem odd for you to get a cold when you are doing everything right and taking all the "good" supplements etc. That should be a big help though in the amt. of time perhaps that it lasts and the severity. Sorta ties into those who do it all right for many, many yrs. and still get cancer.
We get what we get for a reason ( some of my spiritual thoughts here ) and part of that reason is the growth we will experience. Most people won't see this and that is ok.....but it resonated with me -- and has for a long time. I am often timid ( I don't have one ounce of "scientific proof" ) about sharing these thoughts.
So, hopefully, all those good things you do will be foremost in helping you over the "hump" of your cold. There is a season and reason to everything.....often though....we don't know why. A little faith and a strong will and we keep going.
Hope you all have a great Saturday.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie: I think you're right. I refused my flu shot this year....stubbornly dug my heels in every time the doctors mentioned it! I think this thing I have is easily a low grade flu bug, but I seem to be beating it. I ached all over last night, felt feaverish, and lost my voice from coughing, but today I feel better. I can tell it isn't going to go into my chest and my sore throat is already gone. Getting ready to make myself a smoothie with greens and fruits...that should help.
Have a geat day everyone!
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Mommarch, my sympathies to your dh and you. A very sad story and all too common.
Rain, rain, rain, here today. Inches of rain. This morning I did 3 loads of laundry and spent a couple of hours ironing. Now I'm settled in my chair watching the golf on tv.
Wishing everyone a happy Saturday.
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Hi gals...... I always get my flu shot! Even the Shingles shot. They say at our age, we should get those... Along with the Mammograms, and annual physicals.
I've never had the flu.... But about every 5 years or so I "catch" the virus going around, and I'll get Asthma & Bronchitis.... Those I can't get rid of without anti-biotics.
My DH will never get the shots....ANY of them.... Or go to the Docs for that matter, only when he is really sick!
I repotted my Orchids today....New Orchid mix, and green peat moss, and I put them in clear plastic pots with holes along the sides. I have 2 that are getting ready to bloom right now!
And I checked on one that I have upstairs in front of a window, and IT WAS BLOOMING!!! So I brought it down to set on our table! I can set them out on our front porch facing West during the Summer, and they do great....but only bloom around this time of year.....in the house! But it sure makes you anxious to put this Winter behind us.....
I'm going to make me a "smoothie" also.... it's called a White Russian....
Suppose I could whip up a banana & put that in there, to make it good for me....Ha! How are you doing Marcha? I'll be glad when this week-end is over for you and your Hubby. A loss is just hard on everyone....Even when you think you will be alright, sometimes it just hits you smack in the face. (((Marcha))))
Take good care....
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Chevy: I used to drink white russians...until one night at a party someone switched me from those to amaretto...now I don't drink either one! The next day I thought I had to get better to die! I don't think I had a drink for five years after that! I learned that I certainly can't mix my drinks.
The smoothie was good..romaine, spinach, apple, watermelon, pineapple, and green pepper...whir it up in the blender and enjoy, with some left over for later. Tonight I'm making carrot, apple, orange and ginger soup. It's another one of those you make in the Vita Mix. I did a butternut squash soup in the blender earlier in the week that was to die for. Hope this one turns out as well.
Enjoy your evening everyone!
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Just had to share this.....sometimes people just get it right, period:
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth0 -
When we go to a Casino, I will order an Amaretto Screwdriver...(Made with both Amaretto and Vodka, & Orange juice.) And then a coffee with Baileys'!
I didn't drink when I was younger, and have never known what it was like to "have too much."
I grew up with the thought that "It is never too much.".....
So maybe that's why I have always been afraid to drink....I mean more than maybe 2.... And that's only once in awhile.I don't mind people drinking, but from what I have been around, it's never in moderation.....From experience, too many bad things happen when people get drunk....
I made Chicken soup yesterday, with carrots, potatoes, scallions, italian parsley, and chicken broth with cooked white chicken. You could eat that with your cold, Kaara!
Jackie, I like that quote....Kind of like "If it ain't broke, don't "fix" it" Ha! I get more things "fixed' around here that didn't have a problem, but after the "fix" it then has a problem! Ha!
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I think I passed my latest health test. Got up this morning and my flu bug is completely gone! Got rid of it in two days, which is a record for me. All that's left is my voice is still a little hoarse. It is a real testimony to my diet and supplement plan that I've been on. Initially I was so disappointed that I even got something like this, but as you said Jackie..everything happens for a reason...maybe I needed this test to see if the new diet was even going to work and it did. I feel my old energy coming back.
Last night we watched the movie "Living Proof" about the doctor who developed Herceptin. It was truly inspirational. My boyfriend and I were both crying at the end. What a struggle this doctor had trying to get the drug through clinical trials. The company backing it was so afraid it was going to fail, that they didn't want to take the risk. You can really spot the egos in action in this movie. Again, a couple of really strong women came through and saved the day. We need more doctors and researchers like this. It's a must see movie. We got it on Netflix.
Have a great Sunday everyone! It's hot here in S. Florida...87 degrees expected!
PS: Chevy...your soup sounds delicious! I'll make some..have lots of carrots!
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Just got finished with some horrible sinus, cold thing. Got it from the GG baby, he got over it fast, but stayed for 3 weeks with me. Scared to go to dr .lets check those lungs, lets dont find anything else right now. Want immune system strong to fight the big disease.
I need to watch that movie. Watched the 5 when it aired and it was not depressing.
Everyone have a great day.
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Either I am a bitch or misunderstood by people. Today I was telling my friend about the study of metformin and she said I was wrong they wouldnt give that drug to non dibetics. I read about it on the site however she the same as accused me of lying. Then she said "well I guess you are never going to get over cancer, are you". Told her it was a very traumic (sp) situation and I would the rest of my life look at sites for the fix. Then I told her I really dont want to talk to her anymore today however she still was carrying on about my mindset when I hung up. (and I really dont want to talk to her anymore today) Everyone on here has been through what I have, do you think its abnormal to still look for the fix and research. By the way I do believe she is jealous cause I have this site and others to talk to about bc.
Since bc I have entered another world and can no longer adjust to the old one. Is this the new normal. I am not unhappy in this world but just wanted some input.
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jennifer1: You are not wrong and the drug is given to non diabetics to fight cancer. It is currently in clinical trials to determine wider use, but some doctors are prescribing it for their non diabetic cancer patients because it has been on the market for a long time and has few SE's.
I don't think I will ever stop researching about bc. It is just something that I do now to keep up on the latest trials and treatments. I don't think that qualifies me as obsessive, just wanting to learn as much as I can about my disease so I can be my own advocate.
I think we do enter a new normal after bc, but it isn't all bad. We have a new awareness of what others have to go through on a daily basis and can have more empathy for them. I have a new diet and lifestyle, but other than that, I am just living my life as before. I'm doing everything possible to prevent the bc from returning, but it is what it is, and if that happens I will deal with it.
I find that most people really don't want to hear about our situation other than to ask how we are, and get a short version of what the current situation is. They really don't have much knowledge of what goes on in our bc world, so they couldn't be expected to know about the latest treatments. I save the in depth discussions for this site. I once mentioned to someone what a great site BCO was and they said "Oh, I would never go on a site like that...it's too depressing". I just dropped the subject.
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Thanks Kaara I got very upset over this but getting over it now. This site is not totally depressing. The You know you have cancer when is very funny however if you never had to deal with what we have, chemo, rads, surgery, worried about re-occurance then perhaps it would be hard to understand the jokes. You are right, I will always research and look for the good.
I have to read more, is metformin a replacement for current al's or an additional pill. I have an appt with my reg dr next week and she is into that blood surgar stuff so I will ask her about it. I am not exactly the earliest stage so yes I get concerned.
Everyone have a good day0 -
jennifer.....I am so sorry you had that experience....but it truly is one of the biggest reasons we are here. We have our feet in two worlds.....that of THE cancer world and the world that has not had cancer. It is just my humble opinion.....but I think the new normal takes its time in coming. At least for many people. It took me a couple of years to start to relax into my normal.....where the dark cloud wasn't right on my shoulder all the time and the elephant in the room finally shrunk to a manageable size.
If the people around you have not had cancer.....they don't have much conception of the myriad number of decisions you will have to be making about how to deal with it. There is so much information you will be having to try and digest and at the same time you are doing all this you are trying to keep it together for family, children, husband as well as yourself. You vacillate between wanting it all to end well somehow, while wondering if you can "make" it through the next tx.
So.....we have our own place here, where we help each other fight the dark clouds, and big animals in the room and where we can complain about some of the in-sensitivity we are subjected to --- no matter how well-meaning they may say it was meant. We all know.....cancer isn't for sissies. It is a difficult journey and we need this understanding, pretty non-judgemental place -- even if were only talking about the weather now and then --- because this is the cancer world.......and we never know when we are going to be sharing things like you just shared.
We really do get better.....but I'll be glancing over my shoulder for the rest of my life....just like you will. I don't do it as often as I did at first....but then I have been here since 2007. I lost my innocence that yr....my complacency. There isn't any going back. So.....I've lost some friends, and I've lost the closeness of some family members. I don't mind admitting....I don't much miss them.....I use to think to myself....hope they never get cancer....but maybe a little karma here, one of them already has. I feel bad about that but it's leukemia and has been in remission since diagnosis. Nothing is wrong with you jennifer and your not at all abnormal --- your just like us and were normal.
Hugs, Jackie
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Thanks Jackie,
I am just getting to the point that the black cloud isnt always there but that dont mean I dont appreciate medical science and in my heart I believe they will get this. My stage is only based on current tech so as they improve so do we. Chemo robbed me of the ability to spell like I once did but I can still read and comprehend (most the time). One day stage 2b or 3a will be a quick check into the dr and a pill and on your way. Just not yet.
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Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher0 -
Good morning. Oh there is sweet sunshine out my window....and though quite chilly right now it is going to be 51 degrees later . Summer is back for a few days. Our non-winter has been so strange -- more because I kept expecting it to arrive and it didn't. Just hope we have a good Spring and Summer this yr.
Hope all your problems ( if you have them ) are small and easy to work with today and that you are able to share the sun. My spirits just climb so high when it is out there See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie: I love that quote. Do you ever go to the Simple Truths web site? They have so many beautiful inspiring movies that are filled with quotes like the one above. I watch them when I'm feeling a little down and need a picker upper. I've posted some before on facebook, but I don't know how I could do it on this site. They are really inspirational!
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Kaara: I have Simple Truths emailed to me daily. In addition I have other "quote" emails and as well as a whole different list in my favorites. I love quotes and never tire of reading them. I often wonder about the things that were going on in people's lifes' when they chanced to say some of them. Eleanor Roosevelt has some great ones.....and then there is Helen Keller.
I feel for the most part that while we cometimes think about what happens to others and think....wow....I don't think I could ever get through that so well.......we actually sometimes find what we go through in hind-sight not as hard as it looks when we watch others go through almost the same thing. That is where and when some of my spiritual feelings emerge. I think for the most part....no matter how difficult things may be......there is unseen help, often guiding us and helping us through ---- I well recall thinking a time or two during chemo that I just couldn't go on....and yet a few short minutes later, there would be some strange but very comfortable sensation just permeating my being and I would get this idea....just do this for ten minutes more as you are worrying too far in advance. There is no decision needed now.
I am a firm believer in the still small voice we all have that CAN if we wish to acknowledge it, help us get through so many of the difficult times. I say voice......but often it is just a sense of what is right -- a strong sensation that just sits there, just like a sign. Hard for some to grasp.....I just know that when I pay attention things go right. The times I have been foolish and ignored "the present" things have not gone well at all. I guess with me it has become a matter of faith. I am spiritual....not necessarily religious and find it works for me.
So getting through tough times is not always easy, but I think a survey was done somewhere and most people "took" back their own problems......because they seemed easier than the other people's load. I found that interesting, but not a total surprise.
Hope you all have a great sunny day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie, Your are very inspiring. Hope everyone has a good day. Ours is off to a rainy start but I'm sure it will dry out.
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Wow, funny the subject of Simple Truths came up.........I just received on Friday, 2 cards from them, and an invitation to subscribe to their periodical.................I put it aside, and will decide what I want to do.............some of the things apply to what would be good reading for me, but a lot don't........................anything pertaining to a "spouse" would be of less interest since the "spouse" passed away 20 years ago................but there were other interesting things.........guess I could always pass it on to my kids when I'm done with it..................it was interesting, and will decide in the next couple days..................just though it "esp" like when you guys talked about it.
The sun is out here to, and it is a gorgerous day............should be out walking, but the bum knee won't allow me to go far, and we're all hills where I am..................I could go to the gym, but don't feel like driving..................guess I just don't feel like exercising today would be the truth......have been cooking most of the day, so maybe I'll just sit down, put on my Bose headset, and listen to a good inspiritational CD..............meditation is good right..................hahahaha, and I can sit and do that........................hugs ladies.
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Hi Ladies.... Jackie, you always seem to reach inside our hearts and calm us down. When I read what you say, I just slow down.... and pay attention.
Sometimes we are so tangled up in ourselves, that we can't let anything good come inside. So I just stop...... and wait. If we can pick ourselves up, and move that other foot....and like you say, it really could be worse.
I get so mad at DH sometimes, but unlike you Ducky.....I still have him! That is worth more than the world to me. I have to learn to appreciate what I have....more.
I heard this song one time when I went to church...It was the most beautiful video on a large screen that was played at the beginning of the service..... If you can just let yourself go, and close your eyes, and.....listen. It brings back painful memories of something we went through, but we came out on the other side.
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9M9FFNNU
So when I get all knotted up, I just stop, close my eyes and listen.....
Sometimes having HAD cancer isn't the worst thing that can happen to us. A lot of women are still battling this.... Or even something worse!
I'm not very "religious" either...but very Spiritual!
So thanks Jackie.... You have a way of calming any of us. xoxoxoxoxoo
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