Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross0
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Good morning everyone. It is a beautiful day full of beautiful friends that I love to talk to. First off, Chevy---my lovely sunshine giver friend, asthma and bronchitis are serious problems and if not taken care of can have really dire consequences. This does not minimize anyone going through very active cancer treatment......we all have a right to whine when our bodies let us down....for whatever the reason. we are all deserving of support, and for a variety of reasons may find we are down when we'd rather be up......needing a little push or helping hand or just some great words of encouragement.
That brings me to Kaara....this is the place where we let our hair down and let it all go. I hope your situation resolves. It is hard to be a parent at times......even when situations are tailor made so to speak. This first daughter may be such a credit on the scale later.....in spite of the struggles, not because of them. Big difference here. So, it is something only time can tell. It is difficult to have to "watch" all this go on though. I feel for you.
Otherwise....I'm sure looking forward to the weekend and getting a lot more need to do's off the list. Hope you all have a marvelous day.
Healing healthy hugs,
Jackie
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I think there are a lot of families that have problems just holding together.... I know my gal-friend has a Daughter that she hasn't spoken to in over 25 years... She even lives in the same town... I don't even get into it, because if she wanted to talk, she would, but what could I say?
SOMEthing must have happened, somewhere...for whatever reason, to distance a Daughter from her Mother.
Another gals Brother divorced his 1st wife, and at the same time, distanced himself from his two little girls. Unbelievable. Then later on, he must have grew a brain or heart, and thought he would look them up! Well, neither one will even acknowledge they have a Father, and I don't blame them.
It's just so sad, when families go through this...I feel for the kids... I know there are "reasons" but the excuses just don't make sense, when the Parent chooses to let a child "go" then they don't deserve the love of any child. And maybe they don't care...maybe they are too "proud."
Sometimes a kid HAS to get booted out for what-ever reason, but to give up, and choose favorites is un-believable. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. And in a bad mood...Ha!
I'm baking my sausage bread..... smells good girls.... You can all have a piece if you like!
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Speaking of children, I just called my 83 year old widow neighbor to say Happy Easter. She has two daughters and a son - all in town - and none of them speak. She does see her grandsons by the DS - but that's because they're 16 & 18 and have now made their own choices to visit their grandma. Chevy - I agree - so sad.
Lots of people think I should rag on my DS because he and girlfriend aren't married. After 11 years, I think they are more committed than many married couples. Not worh cutting off my only son. I've been calling her my DOL (daughter out law) for a long time.
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jackie and mommarch
well it is finally happening....day 14 after my first treatment of a/c and hair is coming out....am also wondering how i will feel...i have read the posts and there seems to be so many emotions with the hair loss.
i got a wig on tlc (cant remember the website name right now but i typed in tlc wigs in search box)..i got a very very nice wig for 46.00 plus shipping ..monofiliment...it didnt even need cut..as i took it to a beauty salon and she even said it is just right with not too much hair etc.
my friend told me when she started losing her hair she started drawing pictures or letters with her finger to make a design in her hair...then finally shaved it..
my husband doesnt like to see me cry so i will probably have some alone time somewhere and go cry when it really comes out
i have a silky looking cap that a friend bought me to wear to bed..she thought it might catch all those hairs going all over
it is starting to hit hard now....maybe tomorrow when hubbie goes to bfast with his buddy...i will have my little "pity party" while he is gone. am trying to be strong like my mother and sister were...my mom had a stroke and passed away ten years later in 2006...my sister passed away in 2004 from bc
thought and prayers to everyone today
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munny --- yes, cry for as long as you can. Sometimes, the right kind of cry for just the right time actually produces some strength and inner resolve. It is difficult to lose something that you have had since you were a baby.....our hair defines who we are and sometimes there is almost no other way to take it but as a huge loss. You will come back to you though.
We never really were our body parts or hair, or breasts or any of those things, but it becomes so easy to identify ourselves and others that way. What you really are is a beautiful soul who is timeless.......in life it always comes to the boundaries we have -- our image. This is a difficult time.....and I hope when you get inside yourself you will see how great you really are and even if you only get a tiny inkling or glimpse of the strength you really do have......that it will be enough to get you going in a good direction.
You are a very precious person/soul and we are all here for you to lean on when you need to.
Hugs, Jackie
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Wow Jackie! What you said to Munny is beautiful. You are just one big inspirational quote, Ha!
Hang in there Munny.... and yes, take time for yourself, even if it is just to cry.... You know we're always here, so just peek around the corner, and we'll be listening. Your Husband is trying to carry on the best he can too... That's why I just tried to ignore the obvious sometimes, going through the diagnosis and surgery. I remember Jackie once said, "take 10 minutes"..... and then go beyond that, and try another...... Hope it helps. Take good care gals...
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munny: So sorry you're going through this, but you have been given good advice. I think crying can be very healing. I always feel better after I've had a good productive cry. I bet you look really cute in your wig...I bought one to wear in case I needed chemo...I didn't, but I wear it anyway on bad hair days, which are frequent for me!
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Good morning ladies.......golly, it is gong to be coolish here again today. Where oh where did that great summer preview go. Well, that's ok as it will come back......just need to pray for patience for myself.
Those little ( I call them propellers ) seed pods are all over the ground outside.....in fact, so much of what would be here in May already has come.......you need a blower to keep the Spring debris in check. It is only winter that we don't have blowers at work around here for something. Our driveway---parking area is quite large so a broom is out of the question.
Hope you all have a marvelous Saturday. As for me....I'm going to try and stay out of trouble....I bet I can. See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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my dh has offered to shave my head tomorrow....i will ponder over it tonite....as hair is just everywhere..
was sitting outside and scratched my head and hair was in small clumps..so i blew them to the wind as i was sitting there getting me natural vitamin d from the sun.
it was a nice day with a snippet of chilly breezes occasionally
happy easter
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Good Evening Ladies,
It has been a week since I started my antidepresent and sleep aid. I must say I do feel better. I still have some blue moments but they pass. I went today and got my hair shaped up, first time in almost a year. It felt good.
Munny, don't fret over your hair to much, you will not have any bad hair days for awhile.
Going to cook a ham, green beans and new potatoes tomorrow and go to church. Guess we will put the food in the electric roaster on 325 before we leave for church so we can eat by 2:00, I hate cleaning up big meal messes late in the afternoon or early evening.
Wishing you all a Blessed Easter
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Oh munny I'm so sorry u feel this way---as soon as my hair was falling out, my dgtr shaved my head. I worked for 4 months, till I couldn't work anymore--but while I was working I bought all these cute hats and turbins and wore great bi earring that sparkled like crazy and i don't like hats, but I got really cute ones--different colors--I had chemo for over 2 yrs so I really got used to no hair and kind of liked it ess time to get ready. LOL I just got into a lot of sparkles and had fun with it. But I have to confess I had the ugliest hair anyone could have so it never bothered me. hahaha I hope u find peace in thishorrible illnes it will pass and I hope u'r blessed with wonderful people in u'r life--Enjoy Easter
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Happy Easter everyone! Take it easy on the chocolate bunnies!
I'm off to start my turkey breast so I'll have room in the oven to cook side dishes later, then must remember to hide the eggs before the grands get here. Nice thing about plastic eggs is if you forget where one is hidden, they don't rot...lol!
DS#2 finally called and said he didn't think they could make it for dinner because their car was in the shop and DGD had to work so they couldn't use hers. She works in the mall....hummmm....aren't they closed on Easter Sunday?
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Oh Kaara, just don't pay any attention to anything you can't change...... Seems like when people don't want to do something, they will find any excuse to cover it up. So don't worry your pretty little head about something you can't help.... What is.....is. You don't need them to make your dinner special.... You can do it all on your own.
I'm feeling so much better today! Man, I've had Bronchial Pheumonia before, but this one really knocked the soup out of me! But I slept, I can breathe, and and my mind is out of that fog! Holy Cow, Mommarch, were you there with me? I just had to quit TAKING those drugs, so my head could straighten up.... But I know they helped, but I gotta do this on my own now.
Little Munny..... Your Husband is a gem! He will help you, any way he can.... and don't worry about your hair right now, cause it will come back...like everyone says. I wouldn't have wanted to lose mine either, because it was just all I had "to play with"....I mean coloring, teasing, pouffed out, and it STILL is...! But I know now, from reading, and listening to all you gals, that treatments are more important than my hair....
I remember my Grandma used to say..."If you keep teasing & coloring your hair like that you will be bald by the time you are 40!" Did I listen? Hell no! At least I don't shave half, spike it, and color the other half blue! And I've kept my piercings to a minimum.....
Camillegal, you have a great attitude! That has to take you a long ways, in dealing with anything! Yes, big ear-rings, spangles, and even little umbrellas! You go girl!
Love you lots little Jackie....hope you have another easy day... Happy Easter everyone....
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I'm taking Dh to work......to the mall Karra --- so maybe your mall is open to. Dh works at Sears. Sometimes I think --- it is about the almighty dollar always, but then Easter, just like Christmas is a bit more spiritually special to me.....so it is irritating that the store is open. Anyway.....see you all in a little while when I am back from Mt. Vernon.
Hugs and much love and
Happy Easter,
Jackie
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hope everyone is having a wonderful day today.
since yesterday ..seeing my hair "blow out in the wind" while I was sitting on the porch ...I thought ..uhoh...and then of course the nite before being at bob evans and i scratched my head..and my dad looked over and said...IS THAT YOUR HAIR IN YOUR HAND !!! i thought oh crap...so i put it in a napkin.
SOOOO...today...hubbie tried to clip me with clippers...kinda funny...he tried so hard, but we ended up calling the neighbor lady...who is a beautician and she came and clipped me and fixed my wig.
I now look like Uncle Fester from the Addams family
cried a few tears....laid down a bit...but feel ok about it...gotta do what I gotta do
thanks all of you for your support it really means so much as I have not too many people in my life to talk to about it
blessing to all
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Munny, I am with you. You talking about losing your hair like that, is so completely honest, and it hurts to hear someone going through this...... but like the other gals here, they also did the same thing! You are just beginning, and already have taken that first step! For your neighbor to help out, is awesome! Just give your dear Husband a big hug, from all of us.... And we'll hug you too!
((((munny))))..... Go get you another wig..... Was it Marcha that said something about one online? You need more than one, I think.....
Get some references, before ordering.... otherwise you could wind up looking like cousin IT! Ham is in the oven... and it's a beautiful day.... Thinking of you all.....
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munny....these ( those darn first times ) are just downright awful at times. You have so little control....but later on it will I think just become a piece of and a part of this journey you are taking. But is is hard and we all know that......I was not a good looking bald lady though surprisingly I saw lots of women who were. I mean they seemed good with make-up ( I never was with such poor eye-sight ) and they seemed to have had very smooth heads so nicely shaped....and I didn't think mine was....so it was difficult.
While going through it all.......I had a number of fairly negative feelings, but later, when I was done....I was really amazed at myself......and didn't know exactly where I found the strength. Well, I know a lot of it came from spending a lot of time on these Forums and threads. I saw all these really pretty ladies......and I listened to them everyday......some had it much harder than I did and some had it 'seemingly' very easy and said so. It is what it is, but I knew if they could do it....surely I could.
I had a couple of wigs, but was more into scarves and warm hats.......since I did my chemo all winter........and I have to tell you, I thought I'd freeze and not thaw out for at least two years. I was constantly cold.
On another note.....I had a really good day today. Alone most of the day with Dh at work, I got so many things done that I had let go --- just too many other things popping up in front to be handled. So....at last, I have some long awaited changes in my living room. I hope I like it next week.
Often I change things.....wait a fewe days and put everything right back where it was.....and I hope and pray I don't have to do it that way this time.
After I picked Dh up we stopped on the way out of Mt. Vernon at the Steak & Shake. Oh how I love that place and Dh got me some dinner. Great as usual.
I'll be looking for all of you in the morning. See you then.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie: There is nothing I like better than a patty melt and a chocolate malt from Steak & Shake! Oh well....only on special occasions now I guess. Then there's this new hamburger place in town...the same one we always go to on our way out to skiing in Denver...Smash Burger...it's awesome! I've eaten there once since it opened and DD found out about it now being here in Florida. My boyfriend is so committed to his diet that I can't get him to set foot inside the place. I think I created a monster when I started us on this new food plan:(
Easter dinner was wonderful...the grands had fun hunting for eggs, the 11 month old made the biggest mess with her chocolate bunny, and loved it! We have absolutely no leftovers and I made a lot of food! I'm glad because we're leaving on vacation on Wednesday and I want a clean refrigerator for that. This morning I feel I've been run over by a truck. Lifting two 25 pound DGD''s for hugs and kisses takes a toll, but worth it!
Munny: I'm with Chevy...get a new wig...there are places you can go where they fit and style them right on your head and you can pick what looks best on you. I have a couple of really nice ones and they weren't that expensive. I have the worst hair in the world so I wear them now and then even though I didn't do chemo or lose my hair...what's left of it:) I know it has to be so traumatic to see your hair falling out before your eyes which I guess is why so many people shave their heads before in anticipation of this happening. That is what my girlfriend did, and her wig was so cute that we all liked it better than her real hairstyle. When it grew back she had it styled like the wig.
Time to start getting clothes together for our trip...layers because sometimes it still gets cold in Nevada in the mornings. Arizona will be warm. Looking forward to some R & R. We are staying with my BF's cousin and his wife in Nevada and a resort in Scottsdale, so lots of fun to look forward to.
Have a great day everyone!
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Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.
Thomas Merton0 -
Good morning everyone......what a nice day yesterday was and I'm pretty sure today will be the same way. Kaara, jmho, I think most women get shaved because your hair follicles ( each individual one ) hurt, and as well, dead hair--looks and feels dead. It is not too pleasant, but then a lot of the different parts to cancer treatment aren't. It would be hard to know this though unless you have really had the experience.
I recall touching my hair and definitely having the perception that ALL vitality ( life ) was gone and it had a thickish feeling ( dry volume ) but too much movement and it was falling out....sometimes in a clump. It was a disturbing feeling and ultimately seemed better to be rid of it sooner rather than later.
I did very much like the wig I got free from "Look Good - Feel Better " seminar. These are usually put on by your hospital or Oncology center and you can sign up for them munny so do ask about them. They show you how to use make-up to your best advantage as well as generally have free wigs and scarves if you find something you like. They also have make-up kits with donated make-up ( brand name products ) and give you this free as well. I think there is usually about $200.00 or so worth invested in each one.
The wig I had.....brown shade, had reddish highlights right in it, which made it look so much less like a wig. A lot of people asked me where I was going to get my hair done. Now maybe they were being kind, but it doesn't matter. It was a bit of a boost at a bad time and it helped me make that transition to wig-wearing a little easier. I generally only wore it to "occasions " or to work. I missed a lot of work but my employers paid me anyway.
Sometimes you just do the best you can and let the rest of it go.
Kaara, your trip sounds like so much fun. I think Arizona is a very pretty state and it is always great to see friends or family. Nevada is all right too. Lots of desert terrain in both states and I love the cactus you see. Had a big cactus garden when I lived all those yrs. in southern California.
Hope you all have a fantastic day today doing things that make you happy.
Hugs, Jackie
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Kaara, I like your photo avatar! Your hair looks pretty.
Munny, gentle hugs to you as you endure the whole experience of chemo treatment.
Chevy, I'm glad you're feeling better.
I'll always remember this Easter Sunday. My mother was happy to have eleven family members sitting with her in church. Among that group was a niece she had invited. The rest of us hadn't seen her for at least 10 yrs. but she visited my mother recently.
After church we all went back to my mother's house for dinner. Soon another person arrived that she had invited without mentioning it to us. A nephew, the brother of the niece. Without going into the details, we weren't expecting 14 people for dinner. My mother's table seats six, so we ate six, six, and two. The last two didn't have a lot of food! It was humorous. Normally people are taking home leftovers but there were no leftovers except some baked beans (my dh had made them from scratch) and a helping of potato salad. The large ham was a bone and skin for my youngest sister's dog! I'm smiling as I write this.
The Masters Golf was on tv and normally we would have turned the tv on. But we didn't because of my mother's niece and nephew being there (my cousins). By 4 pm everyone left and my poor mother was ready to go to bed. She spends her days lying on the couch with her feet up so it was a lot of socializing for her. She said she enjoyed the day.
Today I stepped on the scale and verified that ham had done its thing on my body. I was up 2 1/2 lbs of fluid from the salt. But I have to admit I enjoyed the taste of the ham.
Today I have nothing written on the calendar so I'll put on my yard clothes and work outside the first part of the day. This afternoon I'll bake bread. I have the "starter" or "biga" in Italian already made and sitting in the refrigerator.
Happy Monday to all.
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Good morning everyone......how's it going???? Hope you are doing all right munny!!
Don't know why but yesterday seemed so long to me. I recall when I was younger occasionally saying on Monday afternoon what a long week it was. Guess I just had another one of those days.
We have cooled off but warmth will return. It is definitely time for our grass to get a good mowing. We have about two acres here and one side is strange thin grass due to shade......so we always start the mowing late for that reason. Good thing we are out in the country -- otherwise we would seem so sloppy to our neighbors.
Carole....it sounds like you had a great Sunday. Such a pleasure when everyday normal turns into un-expected delightfulness. I mean this is something that can't be duplicated......so the specialness will always remain.
Hoping you all have a delightful day....with sunshine and that everything you do turns out well.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good evening everyone! I'm busy packing for our trip to Nevada and Arizona. We'll be out there about ten days, so the suitcases are full:) I probably won't be on the site much during that time, because I won't have access to a computer unless I use my boyfriends, and he doesn't relinquish it that much. I'll have a lot to catch up on when I return. Everyone stay well and happy!
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Kaara, I hope you have a wonderful trip. We'll definitely miss you.
I had a nice day. I played golf in a league event and actually played well. My foursome came in 2nd place and we each won a $40 gift certificate to Academy sports store.
Hope everyone had a good Tuesday.
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Things are quiet on the older bc thread. Today was a busy day. I played golf in the morning. Picked up the first supply of veggies in the spring CSA, Community Supported Agriculture. Went to a 2:30 pm eye appointment. Everything was ok with my eyes, thank goodness.
Tomorrow I have to be up early again to take my mother to a 9:30 dr. appointment.
Our weather has been really beautiful. But the muggies will be coming back.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.
Betty Friedan0 -
I'm late getting here.....ran out of time this morning.....had some early shopping to do so could not stay at the computer as long as I usually do.
Hope you all had a great day. It was cooler here than I like but the sun was shining brightly and that usually perks my mood so high that I don't pay as much attention to the temps.
Did get really good news today. We are getting a substantial amt. back from our income tax. I mean......with it were a little more, but we thought based on last yr's estimates that we would barely get a thing. Our income was down a bit and that changed everything. I'm a happy camper.
Carole....glad your eye exam went well. I always worry a bit.....I really only have one good eye...only a sm. amt. of vision in the other......so when I go and there have not been changes I'm really happy.
I'll see you all in the morning....my recliner wants to see me now -- or is that the the other way around.
Hugs, Jackie
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