Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Morning everyone....... Well, we took our showers, but didn't try it together, Ha! DD doesn't have a bath mat in there, & I'm just afraid of sliding all over the place, (I COULD have stood on a wash cloth) but showers worked out great! I felt like I was staying in a hotel, Ha!
We stopped & brought breakfast burritos to take over for breakfast, & DD had coffee ready. When she got home she said "It looks like you weren't even here!" I said "Good! That's how it's supposed to look!" Well, except for all the food we brought her, the 500# bag of kitty litter UP the stairs, and the $20 bill we left....
She says we can come over ALL the time, Ha, ha! Raining here too, Termite! For 2 days now.
That cake DOES sound good Jackie! I'm going to buy the other Angel Food box mix, to make that other Pineapple recipe today. WHAT??? You take a bath out in your garden??? Is THAT what a "garden tub" is? I have a little plastic "kiddie pool" that I fill for Lacee when it's hot out, and I give her a bath in there.... Is THAT what you mean???
Maybe I could just take a bath in there, instead of going all the way over to DD's house, Ha! Except I .....oh never mind.Carole, I'm thinking about you and the troubles with your Niece... Sometimes we just do everything we can for these "kids" and it doesn't matter if it's your Grand-kids or your siblings children.... I just hate when this happens.
My Brother is still TRYing to help his GS... Now he is living with my Brother in his one-room "efficiency" apt...And at least, as of last week, things were looking up.
DB and his wife have not lived together in their home for at least 13 years. They still see each other about every day, but they don't live together! Damndest thing I ever heard of, BUT..... I guess if it works, why not.
So DB is trying to help his GS, by making him become responsible, and find a job... I hear so much hope in his voice... I only hope this kid will do a complete turn-around and feel how much his Grand-dad loves him, and will WANT to help himself. Dear Brothers wife tries to help this kid too, but NOT by having him live there in that huge house... She won't let ANYone stay there, not even her Daughter who travels there to visit. Their whole life baffles me sometimes, but at least I am not around them.
Kaara, wish we still had some "young ones" to play with! That's one of the beautiful joys in life! We have 1 and a half little girls next door!
Little "Ivy Wren" is 2 1/2, and I asked her if she wanted to come see DH...and she took my finger, and we walked over to my house....So HE goes in & raids the house....cookies, milk, a bag of candy, and she climbs up onto the picnic table & we just talk to her & I just LOVED it! I tried telling her about my "sea shells" So I gave her a large flat one, and told her to pick out some little ones to put in it, to take home with her... It was soooo cute watching her and her little fingers pick out just the "right ones!" Her baby Sister is only 2 months old, and it's fun watching her grow into another beauty!Okay...... gotta go see what this morning is bringing..... Take good care....
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Chevy: I feel very blessed...our grands come in all ages...the oldest is 23 and the youngest is less than one year. Together we have nine. When my older ones were born I was still busy with my career and didn't have a lot of time to be with them...just weekends from time to time. I always said I would be a better GGM!
Two graduations coming up in the next couple of weeks, then off to NC for the summer and fall. I'm torn about leaving because I will miss the grands so much. Will possibly have to make several trips back down in between for hugs. The two year old will really miss me because I'm her playmate...she has me going down her little slide when I visit..just like another kid. My hips just barely fit between those plastic rims:) It will be a good way to tell if I've gained weight...haha! No need for a workout on days that I visit her. She amazed me the other day when she was able to name all of the letters in the alphabet when I showed them to her....out of sequence! Such a joy she is.
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Chevy......you are too funny.....no, the garden tub is just a big over-sized tub in the bathroom. My one bathroom is huge. A walk-in shower ( only thing I don't like is you have to step up into it ) at one end with the basin, lg. under cabinet and big mirror on the other wall, and then the garden tub is at the other end. I think the room is about 15 feet long. I nearly fell over the first time I saw it ( when we first looked at the house when it was for sale ) and thought I could never get used to a bathroom that size.....well, hey some things can grow on you fast. I don't think I could go back to the "cozy" bathrooms that I usually had over the years.
My bath in my room is just a stool and basin.....very small, but it is the second commode that we needed so desperately. Dare I say this.......since our house is pretty much in the woods, several times before we got my half bath done.....poor Dh had to go outside and find a tree. He didn't tell me ( knowing how I'd give him that look ) until after we had two usable areas in the house. Sometimes I wonder how families were able to make it........with lots of kids and only one bath..........and most felt so fortunate when they had that one bath.....total luxury.
I know out here we can get away with things most of the time -- at least in summer when the thick foliage hides so much, but Dh using the trees is like me falling........I still find myself looking around as though half of the town is standing right there watching ever move I make.
Anyway.....I have some things I have to do early this morning, but I will be back. Hope you are all going to have a gorgeous day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Hi to everyone, not staying on long today, will come back and read posts. Had to go to ER today for extreme pain in left side. I throught it was a heart attack so I broke the two week rule and went. Have had bloodwork, chest x-ray and scan. Well it seems to be a fractured rib which made me laugh cause it wasnt bc. In fact all the tests today cleared me for another year which is good. The VA had an oncologist on ER duty and he was really cool. Sometimes just a little to paranoid for my own good. Anyway time for a nap since this took most of the day, have a good one everyone.
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Oh Jennifer -- yes, we can get happy to get a diagnosis or problem that has nothing to do with cancer. Big sighs' of relief for you. I wonder how in the world you fractured a rib --- but then, I think sometimes things start to hurt a lot more a day or so after we do them. Anyway.....anything is much more tolerable when you find out it is not quite as bad as what you were imagining.
I had a kick-back day and accomplished almost nothing. I mainly visited with a couple people and took over a couple of mothers day gifts to someone. Just little things as it wasn't my mother, but I still thought it would be nice to show a little respect for them anyhow.
Went to a store a few miles from here ( a couple of antiques, but more collectables ) and found she is closing. Landlord won't fix the building.....so she is going to take the summer off and maybe start back when she finds another building in better shape. These landlords....they are out for the money but work with you on keeping the property in good repair. Now hers and another place have or will close up for the same reason. Happens often in these poor areas.
Don't have anything planned for tomorrow. My kids are not here......so it will be a quiet day. It may rain...not sure what it will do......but I bought a couple of documentary type movies that were on sale. It was about a lot of the Indians ( Cherokee's which is my heritage ) and how the Trail of Tears came about and thought I'd enjoy watching that. So we will see.
I'll be here in the morning though.....see you all then.
Hugs, Jackie
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Chevy......
I tried that re-sizing thingy on my computer......it doesn't work on mine. Grrrrr. I like this, but thought I would like to go across the page like I use too.................not going to happen for me I guess. Not going to explain the language you are hearing right now.Hugs, Jackie
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Thanks Jackie, yesterday did a whole bunch of stuff I dont usually do and I tapped a truck trying to get out of the parking lot. No damage however when I tapped it I flipped around and maybe that did it. Since it was an oncololist on this and he insisted on a pet scan (is that the one with dye?) I presume he was looking for problems and he didnt find any. Said alot of scar tissue and lot of damage in there but nothing to noteworthy. I didnt do radiation well and will problably live with that for years. BC had a big effect on my life but I am alive and do have a life, not the one I wanted but this is the one I want now. Does that make sense, of course not. This too shall pass.
Glad to see you out and about and the respect thing is great. Have a good one.
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Lemon Pineapple Cake
1 box lemon cake mix
1 box lemon instant pudding
3/4 c. vegetable oil
10 oz. lemon-lime soda
6 eggs
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 sm. can crushed pineapple
1 stick of butter
1 sm. pkg. shredded coconut
Combine cake mix, pudding mix, oil, lemon-lime soda and 4 eggs in a bowl mixing well. Pour into a greased and floured 9 by 13 inch cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour or until golden brown.
Glaze
Combine sugar, pineapple, and butter in saucepan. Beat remaining 2 eggs in small bowl. Add to pineapple mixture. Cook until thickened stirring constantly and cool. Pour glaze over cake and sprinkle with coconut.I know......but it looked so good.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jennifer1, What fractured your rib? did you do something that you remember doing?
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Jackie: You're killing me with those wonderful cake recipes...lol! I'm drooling!
Jennifer: So sorry about the fractured rib. If it was on the same side as the radiation, then it was probably caused from that as it is a common SE. At least you got a clean bill of health otherwise. Any kind of pain like that should not be ignored...two week rule be damned...you did the right thing to go and have it checked.
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms out there. I'm going to a late brunch today with a couple of my kids and grands...should be fun!
I'm praying DD is in good spirits as she's back with this loser of a BF who is an alcoholic and unpredictable. I haven't heard from her in several days which usually means she is in a funk. She doesn't call because she knows what I'm going to say. I told her that if she was going to continue to try and forge a relationship with him, that she would have to accept him as he is...he is not going to change! That means not going off the deep end every time he falls off the wagon, which is frequently, and just not allow him around until he sobers up. It's either that or get him out of her life once and for all and move on. She will spend money going to a therapist to tell her the same thing, but won't listen to me...oh well...I keep trying!
I'm reading that naughty book..."Fifty Shades of Grey"...don't see what all the fuss is about. There is nothing about that kind of sex that would interest me in any way, shape, or form, so I can't relate to anything being said or done, and I would like to slap the girl silly because she's so stupid. That's my one paragraph review...save your money ladies..lol!
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Morning gals....... Kaara, I feel bad for your DD.... but no, she won't listen to you, Mom.... She will have to figure it out for herself....... Believe me! It might take many years.
She might not recognize him as an alcoholic, which is what he is. She wants to think he has a drinking problem.... And she loves him with all her heart. She would rather have him "part" of the time, as not at all. If she marries him, or gets pregnant that won't change a thing.
There aren't very many succesful stories of alcoholics "getting better" without rehab, or something that jolts them down to their socks, to make them want to quit.
I mean she would have to leave him........ And mean it! If he knows he can't get her back, and that quitting drinking MIGHT do it, he might think about it. Right now he wants it all. And he knows he can have it.
My friends Son, who is an alcoholic was told by his separated wife, that if he QUIT drinking, she might come back...... He told her, I will quit drinking when you come back.
Now we all know that would not work...... She has filed for divorce, after 15 years, and is moving out of town.
Just be there for her.... you can't change anything.. Let her know that you will always be there to listen, and not judge, even when you want to strangle that kid.
I just hope the best for her...... and you!
Jennifer! Sooooooo sorry about your rib! I did that once, by coughing too hard, with an under-wire bra on! But glad you got it figured out, so you won't worry!
Kaara, thanks for the tip about "50 shades of grey"... I just hate it when I start a book, and it's just not for me.... WHAT kind of sex??? Ha, just kidding!!!! Maybe they should have age restrictions on certain books.... I mean like on the front cover saying "If you are over 60, you might find this offensive...if you are over 70, don't even THINK about it"....Ha, ha!
(Except I might)
Have a wonderful Mother's Day gals...
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Missing my Mom today, but I know where she is and that consoles me. Happy Mother's in Heaven Mom. I'm so grateful you were the lady I called Mom all my life. I am one of the most fortunate people I know for that.
Love and good wishes to all mothers everywhere and I hope you all have a fantastic day.
Hugs, Jackie
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"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it." -
C.C. Scott0 -
Yes Jackie..... To ALL our Mom's....Thank you for reminding me it was my Mom, who made me who I am.... Not just my Daughter's... Happy Mother's Day Mom.... xoxoxoxo Sweet dreams, sleep tight, don't let the bed-bugs bite..... I love you
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Thanks Chevy and Kaara, the ER doctor was from KU and they usually very good. This is problaby another se of radiation. Since the CT wasnt a indicator of mets I will presume that I am ok. This is that elephant in the room. After reading it seems like its not uncommon after rads even for those a couple of years out. Just add it to the rest, LE, cellutitus, thyroid, neurophathy.
I do miss my mom today, she died in 98 and still remember her phone number but put her in a very nice place in my head.
Chevy, they never listen, just wait and will tell you how right you are someday. My 2nd dh was a drunk, he didnt last long. I would problaby not have listened to anyone either.
Happy Mothers day to everyone, enjoy your day
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Chevy...thanks for the supportive words about DD. It's a mystery to me why anyone would put themselves through that agony. My second husband was an alcoholic. I gave it a good try, but in the end was not going to go to his level. The advice I gave DD was the same advice my marriage counselor gave me...."accept him as he is or leave him for good". I decided to do the latter and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm in a happy normal relationship today, but I don't have the "drama" issues that she has.
I'm not so much offended by the "50 shades" book as I am just feeling that I cannot relate to it in any way. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Unfortunately I've already ordered the other two of the trilogy and they are in the mail. Just like the Dragon Tattoo series, I will probably grudgingly finish them just to know how it all ended.
Have a great Mother's Day everyone!
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Kaara....she doesn't think of it as agony, or even being un-happy, or even wanting anything different..... All she knows is, what it is like when things are good. And they ARE good a lot of the times. Her head, and her heart, like most of us, don't communicate together. She "hears" what you tell her, but that can't take away from her how she feels.
My youngest Daughter goes through "issues" with her "childhood sweetheart" Sometimes he is the SWEETest, but sometimes he is a raving jerk. She KNOWS now, that not getting married is the best thing for her....They both have their own lives.... But she can step back & "see" what it would be like. It isn't even a drinking problem..... Just plain ignorance, and never "growing up." Selfishness, in fact....like with your DD's boyfriend. If things go his way, like with most men, they are happy.... Just don't rock the boat....
Jennifer & Jackie....don't you wish you could just "talk" to your Mom? And tell her things that you couldn't when you had her? Like I would thank her for putting up with my Dad, and pretending our life was just fine... For not telling me much about her Breast Cancer, until it was over! They lived in another state, and they didn't tell me until she had the surgery. They were afraid I would "worry!" I wouldn't want my Mom to know that I had Breast Cancer too.... And I would tell her, that even though I didn't always show it, I loved her with all my heart... I just wish she could hear me now.... I love you Mom!
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Thanks Chevy for putting that in perspective. I know you are right about that because she has told me before how good it is between them when he is acting normal. I just wish there were more normals.
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God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
~J.G. Holland0 -
Oh what a pretty morning. I think the rain that was predicted just isn't going to show up......and that doesn't bother me one whit.
Kaara & Chevy: I chose the quote as I really do think experience can be the best teacher. It is hard for someone to see something till they see and feel it totally for themselves. I was that way once -- just couldn't understand people who already knew how a situation was going to turn out. I think sometimes I may even have secretly thought they were trying to "rain on my parade", but in time.....when disaster keeps on striking.....just like I was told it would, you just see that no matter how much effort you put in something -- no matter how many different things you tried, it was all wasted effort on your behalf. We just have to learn how to manage our own hope and confidence and use it where it will produce good things which do not disappoint.
Worked in our yard yesterday. I know it was mother's day, but every day is such a great day to me, and in that way they are all holidays. Our yard ( 2 acres worth ) looks so much better than it has and so I was happy and content, but wow....worn out for sure. Still some refinements needed but it was time well spent.
Hope you are all going to have a fantastic day. I'll be seeing you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good Morning All,
We may get some more rain here in West Texas today. Sure hope so. Reading your posts about Alcoholics. When I met my husband I was 19 and he was 30 and him and his Mother liked to go to the bar after work and drink. He came to see me one night after he was 3 sheets to the wind and I told him if if quit drinking he would be a nice person. Guess what he quit.
I was wondering about Munnybunni, have not see any posts from her? Hope all is OK.
Did not get much accomplished this weekend, did not sleep well on Friday night so Sat. was a bomb and just did not feel like cleaning yesterday. Did get the kitchen floor mopped on Sat. after dear dog had went to the creek and came running through the house before anyone could catch him. He has big feet, part loso and basset hound. He is the cutest thing. DD & GD clipped and bathed him also on Sat. He looks much better.
Have a good day
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Wow, Mommarch! He QUIT???? That is a miracle.... I guess I never thought of that, at 18..... I think it was because My Father, Grandfather, my uncle.... HIS Father, and Grandfather...were all drunks. Growing up with all that, just seems "normal". I mean all the men in my life drank. I thought they all did that...just like they all go fishing and hunting, and drinking themselves silly on EVERY holiday! I just didn't know any different.
All the screaming, fighting, while growing up, was just what I thought everyone did. I just remember getting married, and thinking I must be in heaven....because at that time, the drinking was manageable. I had my own life, my own Husband, and it was like we were "playing house."..... Got pregnant 3 months later... THEN I had everything I ever dreamed about..... A happy Husband, a baby on the way, and renting our "own" place for $55 a month....
Funny how things can change so slowly... that you don't even realize it.... Things weren't always good, but here we are now.... almost 56 years married, and I don't know what I would do without him.... SOMEtimes it would seem appropriate to smack them over the head with that cast-iron skillet.... BUT we are just so fortunate that we get along as good as we do, considering it's like 24 hours a day we are together....
YOU GUYS, HE'S HERE!!!! THE GUY LOOKING AT THE PLUMBING! I'M SO EXCITED! I'll talk to you later! xoxoxoxo
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yooohoo momarch and illinoisladay.....
here i am....thanks again for writing....
this sure is not a walk in the park....my chemo dr is pretty outspoken and i do like that as she has held nothing back about how you will feel and what chemo does to you.
i was having such "pityparties" for myself and wishing that I was stronger...but, now, I realize that I am a strong person and that I can get through this. I am thankful for my supportive husband through all this.
i have lost 38 lbs as i dont have a taste for much...look like uncled fester on the addams family, and tend to sleep like rip van winkle during all this.
well my eyeballs are getting tired....i hope all you mother's had a wonderful Mother's Day...I sure thought about mine more so yesterday ...i sure miss her
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munnybunny: Glad you are hanging in there! It will all be behind you soon.
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Hi Munny....sorry you are feeling so bad.... But I guess it's good that your Doc let you in on what to expect! It won't last forever, and you will come out of this...just like Jackie did. But WOW!!! 38 pounds? Is that alright? What does your Doc say? Now I could afford to LOSE that much...but I feel bad that the chemo is doing that to you.... Hang in there kiddo.
The "guy" just left...Called his plumber....This is a job for "super-man!" I'm glad an actual "plumber" is going to come here...hopefully tomorrow.... I'm going to lunch with DD, so
maybe I can miss the whole thing! I've been sooooo worried. "Bob" said all old houses just "settle"...and boy this must have...but it is "our" old Victorian home, and I love it.... DH would just like to "walk-away" from THIS problem... but maybe Mr. plumber guy can fix it the "right" way.... Okay....hang in there Munny....
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Illinoislady.....I have to tell you I made a lemon bar recipe that I believe you posted.
2 ingredients and that's it? It is a wonderful addition to my recipe folder. I wish you could put 2 - 15 oz cans of lemon pie filling. Now I have 1/4 of a can left and don't know what to do with it.
At any rate...lemon pie filling and a box angle food cake. Wow. I only hope I didn't have to follow the recipe on the box. I used it dry. Thanks for sharing. I LOVE easy!
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Hi everyone,
Munny, my heart goes out to you, been there and isnt easy but you will do it. Glad you are happy with your doctor. I watched the food channel alot during that time because I was hungry but nothing worked. (still watch it) When this is over your appreciation for food will be back and some day you will think this was a bad dream.
Chevy, I do wish to talk to my mother, she died of bc, refused all treatment and at the time I just didnt understand why she would do that. I dont regret my decision but it sure has been costly. She was 71 when she died however had noticable bc for at least 8 years. There are days when I dont think I will make 71 with treatment. Sorry l am on a little pittyparty too cause of the broken rib. Seems like it is one thing after another.
Kaara, glad to see you, accept or leave, I so agree with that.
Jackie, love your attitude, every day is a great day. Please keep it and sent it to Kansas. I am on the Eastern edge and hopefully with catch it.
Havent taken advantage of the great recipes for the last few days. Getting a little sick of sitting here nursing a broken rib so I think I am going to try and go to Kansas City with my friend and spend the day. I love the Nelson Art Gallery and it makes me feel good plus they have some great places for lunch.
One thing my shrink is very clear about is my inablility to leave the house often which of course she is right. One needs the outdoors and interaction with others to have a nice balanced life. One dwells too much when they dont go anywhere.
Great day in Kansas, no more dwelling here, have a good one everyone.
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Oh munny.....I did the same thing I think.....lost 38 pounds during chemo. I upchucked for several days in a row. We just didn't have any luck finding the right combo to take care of it, but then I got through the A/C which is really what caused it. By that time my system was so into the nausea and losing stomach contents....that it just kept up....even though Taxotere normally does not cause nausea and vomiting. So for all four Taxotere.....I did the same thing. Taxotere usually gives you lots of bone pain.
I would not eat for usually a week to 8 or 9 days......then.....I'd wake up one day with a massive craving for tuna fish on toast.....and that is what I ate. I fixed it the way I love it....with onions, celery, gr. apple and raisins, and mayo of course. I ate it all day long.....and sometimes all day the next day.
I think I have said before.......chemo went down sort of hard for me, but my litmus test is this.....I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat......because it saved my life, and in the scheme of things......it wasn't all that long of a time. Just 6 months.
We are stronger than we think.....it is just hard to remember when your exhausted from throwing up knowing that you won't be eating much for at least a week or more. I mean.....nothing staying in means....not much energy and it becomes easy to feel like you are sort on the losing end of things. And yes, your Dr. is no right. Chemo is cumulative.....so each one is a litle worse/or longer to get over than the one before............but your end is in sight.
Jennifer......Golly....guess I have to admit...I do have to sometimes talk myself into my good attitudes, but I am pretty much the way I was born I guess. Also, I see everything that happens to me or to anyone else pretty much in a spiritual way. I do think we are here to glorify our souls........so I'm always looking for the bright side of things. I do have some "down" times, but I try to talk myself out of them as soon as I can because I'm seldom productive ( mentally ) then, but I do often do a lot physically because it helps me not get too far down. It is always easier to be alone.......so glad you are going to get out a little. Anyway.....I'll send you some good Kansas days...ok.
artsee: yes, I think you almost always just use the "box" for the correct temp. to use mainly......but you don't have to do anything else it says. I love the easy recipes. I used to do everything from scratch.....but the older I get the more trouble it seems. Tastes the best --- unless your doing different things to cake mixes.....and I do a lot of that.
I'm going to my recliner ladies.....I'm done in and ready to weld myself into that chair and not get up till it's bed time. See you all in the morning.
Hugs, Jackie
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I've passed out the lemon bars to some of my neighbors and they immediately wanted the recipe. When I told them lemon pie filling and a box of angle food cake, no one would believe me. Froze the rest, as I do not want to gobble them down and gain more weight. The mission at present is to loose some of this AZ belly fat so I can fit into some of those summer clothes I like... 0
