Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Kathindc, did you see the movie Silver Linings Playbook? The two main characters are bipolar and the movie gives an insight into the difficulties bipolar people have with relating to so-called "normal" people and situations. I really enjoyed the movie, even though the beginning is slow.
I'm not really going anywhere today (that I know about) except the supermarket to pick up a few things, but I "played" a little with some of my makeup today when I was getting dressed.
When my mother's soaps are over at 1 pm, I'll check with her about a grocery list. DH has gone to play golf at my urging. It's cart path only, of course, with all this rain. I didn't play the women's golf event this morning because of the wet conditions. Hope dh enjoys the round. He's a better golfer than I am and might not get splattered with mud, which would be the case with me.
Camille, I hesitate to tell you how beautiful the weather is today. Sunny outside. I'm wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Most women would probably wear a long sleeve but I tend to be warm thanks to arimidex. It's in the 60's.
A golfing friend called today to tell me she wanted to take me to lunch on my birthday, March 8th. If the weather is good, we'll play golf with our Friday group. The 8th is a Friday. Probably the others will join us for lunch. It made me feel good that she thought about my birthday and made these plans in advance. Lucky woman, she just got back from a week on a Caribbean island with her man. She said it was paradise on earth.
Hope everybody is having a good day.
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Carol, I have not seen the movie yet. Thank you for the recommendation. I must make it a point to go see it. It isn't an easy road for those who are bipolar and so many times families' hands are tied when they need help and are adults. It is very frustrating and you help the best you can but your heart breaks a little each time they have a crisis.
Home with the plumbers today. They were out a month ago and the problem came back. They snaked 82 feet and hit a blockage. That length puts it in the city's hands so they turned a ticket into the city. City came very quickly as they saw the plumbers leave. They got the problem. Houses are 70+ years old, the blockage was 85 feet out, which I was told wasn't bad since we just started having the problem after being here 37 1/2 years. I have to say, I have never had a problem with the DC government resolving any calls I've had to make to take care of issues. Ok, I have probably just jinxed myself on this. DH thought we were going to have to get a hotel room for the night. He came home early from work and is being a gem an doing the major cleaning in the basement. City workers were putting in a ticket to have a crew come out and put in an outside clean out pipe so they won't have to go through the basement toilet if there is ever another issue.
Sorry for rambling.
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Wellness, ease, synchronicity, and tiny miracles are delicious indicators that I'm in tune with myself, my message, my purpose, and my innermost essence. ~ Dina Proctor
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I will be turning in my resignation tomorrow morning. My Director gave me another letter of reprimand. We had a student who went to OSU to present his research last week. He came in yesterday to give me his receipts and asked where his check was. I said you did not pick up your check before you left, he said no he did not know where to go for it. I said it is in the cashiers office. Now this student had traveled before, he was sent a email from the accounting clerk to pickup his check at Cashiers. She sent me an e-mail and copied all that were going on the trip. So miss panties in a wad told me today that I should have appologized to him or gave him an explanation no just two words Cashiers office.
I decided it was not worth the stress. I am going to file for my unemployment, because I think I can show that it was a hostile enviroment, I copied e-mails etc.
I figure the good Lord has taken care of us this long, we'll make it some how.
Hope everyones day has been good
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mommarch.....I am so sorry this has happened to you again. I read this and cannot see even a small inkling og your having handled things incorrectly. Leads me to continue to believe that my Director actually has some other problem that she is either un-willing or unable to confront..........so whatever presents as a better target will suffice to make her feel that she is not losing touch. I have seen this sort of thing more than once and that is how it works. You have had an illness which has made a small amt. of weakness on your part and she is taking advantage --- even if she does not realize it.
I'm glad you kept some of the information you might need to make a case. I do think you are right in getting this stress out of your life. Un-fortunately some one else will take your place for a bit.......until your Director cognites that she is using others to cover up her inability to confront her own other valid issues.
I doubt it will make you feel all that much better ---- but I can nearly guarantee you that it pretty much works this way. I also feel it is a shame that she is apparently 'letting' students get off the hook and be irresponsible. Part of going to school is learning to be responsible for things of benefit that help you. Employers is you were required to travel sure aren't going to hold anyone but you responsible if you fail to handle it properly.
Anyway. consolation or not, it sounds to me like you are doing what you need to do to save your equilibrium and mental balance. Good for you. . Maybe my quote today was just for you.
Keeping you in my thoughts.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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Thanks Jackie,
I feel OK about it tonight, I go in tommorow at 9:00AM and check out at HR. I will want to put some things straight for the record, if they let me. Will post again tomorrow sometime. I actually feel free tonight. I have some money in the retirement system so I will get that.
Take Care
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Mommarch, I'm saddened that this has happened to you. I can't believe your supervisor thought you should apologize to the student. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You will find peace in your retirement. I worked at a university and retired this summer with DH's blessing because of the chair of my department. I don't regret my decision for one minute. I wish you the same peace that I have found.
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mommarch good luck tomorrow for what u need to do. zit is a shame to feel forced out of a job due to the people around u I'm si glad u feel good about this tho--that helps alot.
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When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.
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Well.....unfortunately our month in the sun is over and we leave in the morning to head back to the cold and snow. My joint pains and other aches have almost disappeared and I haven't felt this good in a long time. I have already booked a place for 2 months next year. One month is just not enough for me anymore. The sun also improves my mood GREATLY!
mommarch.....So sorry about your job situation. I don't blame you for leaving. We don't need the stress. Hugs to you.
bonnets...I'm also sorry to hear about the impending divorce. This is so hard when it happens to our kids. Usually everyone is happier when the turmoil is over but the ending of any relationship is so traumatic no matter what the circumstances. The kids will have some adapting to do at first, but most kids adapt very easily. I taught school for 33 years and taught many children from divorced families. A few used the divorce situation as an excuse for everything but in most cases, I couldn't even tell that the kids came from a divorced situation. In fact, usually I wouldn't have known unless somebody else told me. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Joan...My two cats are the joy of my life. They bring me so much happiness and joy, as well as contentment. They are indeed family. They have done well on our trip. I think you need one! :-)
Well I need to get moving and get the kitchen things packed up. I'll be back more regularly in a few days.
Hi to all of you!
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Good morning Ladies, back from my dr appt. Got one to check on my kidney stones. Passed one several years ago. Ouch, yes it is like having a baby! When they tried to blast it, I ended up with grit an 2 stones, instead of one. Got rid of one, but have been feeling like menstrual cramps. OBGYN cudnt find anything, and I remember when we first found I had a stone, we were looking at a GYN problem, instead it was my lovely stone. If not one thing its another.
KItty seems well, back to our room and bed for the first time last night. Got to report to the vet and make a tooth cleaning appt for her.
Daughter and hubby are talking, agreed to give things til July. He agreed to go on meds for ADHD and go to financial counseling on their debt. They both seem to still care about each other, hopefully it will work out. I keep praying. Having been thru a divorce myself, I know what it means. At least with all their problems , I don't think it envolves a third party, as mine did. I got remarried to a dear man, our values are much more the same, than my ex and I and we share God, which I didn't have before. So after 24 years of marriage, this time am much better off than the previous 20! But it's a tuff road to hoe, and a lot of the hurt will always remain. Don't want to see them go thru it.
Mommarch, I dealt with a miserable boss for 15 of the 20 years at my job. She treated us like her children, not as professionals. No reinforcement ever. I suggested it once, she told me if she did, people wud just take advantage of her. Very poor management skills. Love being retired. They asked me to return at first, No WAY!
SUns starting to show thru, and a little warmer. Have a good day
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Rita have a safe trip back and it's a litte cilly here, but u missed the snow--well it's still on the ground--glad u had a good time and yes it did seem to rush by.
Bonnets I just passed a stone a couple of weeks ago, but I was already in nthe hospital and It was so tiny I didn't feel much of anything, but my back was so bad I didn't notice. I've nevr had any kind of kidney stones or any problem with my kidneys til lately.. Every couple of weeks it's can u top this.. But I know I'e heard they are very painful-I'm glad mine was small. But my ultra sound showed no more so that was good. So I'm sorry u'r going thru all this too.
I'm glad u'r DD and SIL are tring to work things out--I hope it all goes well for them.
And good about u'r kitty.
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Rita, for your sake I'm sorry the month is up, but we'll be glad to have you checking in more often.
Bonnets, that's a hopeful sign that your daughter and her dh are willing to make some effort to keep the marriage going.
I was up at 6:30 this morning and went to a dentist's apptment for 9 am in Hammond, 30 min. drive. I was supposed to get the permanent crowns for my two front teeth on the top. The lab hadn't got the color right, so here I am still with the temporary crowns.
At 11:30 I went to the lunch get-together with old tennis friends. There were about 12 of us, and, goodness, have we all aged. One woman was on oxygen. My lunch that I ordered wasn't very good, so I ate about half of it. The get-together was at a restaurant that is not a favorite of mine. I was reminded of why dh and I don't go there.
I'm beginning to welcome the idea of spring even though spring brings with it a lot of work. Getting the yard in shape, cleaning the porch and patio, etc. I believe I've had enough rain and drab weather like today to last me a while. It's supposed to drop down into the 30's tonight and the high tomorrow is low 50's but I'm still planning to bundle up and get out and play golf tomorrow. I might just have to dig out the long underwear!
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Thanks for the comments, Jackie and Carole. You all seem to be a great group of woman- supporting and cheering each other on- no matter what is going on.
The additional test results today don't seem to add much info- except that it is ER- and PR- which I know means that hormone ther. is not option. The KI-67 cell reproduction prolif. was borderline. The surgeon said the choice is lump. with rad. or mastectomy. She said chemo wasn't recommended- because of the stroke but I didn't ask how that affected the overall treatment outcome (wish I had).
They are doing a BSGI tomorrow to be sure nothing else. The group of drs. meets on Wed. to discuss patients so they will make a rec. then. If we are given a choice, lump. or mast.- how to decide? My brother thinks- just get rid of the "whole thing". I know that has a longer recovery. She wouldn't get reconstruction...do people get special bras to look "even" if we chose that?
I am going to talk to her other doctors to see if they recommend the less invasive surgery or if they say to choose either. The dr. said they would do a sentinel node biopsy but thinks the lymph nodes are OK. Then, she asked if we even wanted that because if it was positive, she wouldn't recommend chemo anyway. I think we would want to know either way.
I told her I was concerned that types of tests were being suggested because she was in a wheelchair (like fine needle instead of core biopsy) and BSGI vs. MRI- but she assured me that they would be getting the info. they needed while keeping mom comfortable.
Any thoughts? Thank you!
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Went in today and did my check out. DH and I took out a good friend for lunch, (she is the paternal grandmother of our grandaughter) she retired from HR at the Univ 2 years ago. She asked me if I had wrote a letter concerning my side of everything. So I am in the process of that this weekend. Believe me it will not make Ms Polyana look so good.
Get my Mamo tomorrow, Ouch.
Need to get to bed 5:00 comes early and then a 170 mile drive one way.
Hugs.
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Regbeach, I am biased in regards to the choice between a mastectomy with no radiation and a lumpectomy with radiation. I would opt for the former because radiation has its own SEs and misery. I have talked to women who had mastectomy without reconstruction and that recovery, according to them, was just a matter of a few weeks to heal. Some of the other ladies on this thread will have a different opinion because of their own choices. I hope they will give you a different view. One reason I chose bilateral mx was to avoid radiation. I also wanted to get rid of all my breast tissue.
Mommarch, I hope you do write a letter describing the situation that caused you to resign your job. I'm glad you won't have to put up with all the stress any more.
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Regbeach, If your Mom has a mastectomy, she'll get a bra with pockets and a prosthesis (known here as a foob). In clothes, I look perfectly balanced. The only drawback is having to wear a bra. If the other side was smaller, I could get away with nothing. In my memory, the sentinal node hurt worse than either the lumpectomy or mastectomy. I was able to avoid radiation with the mastectomy, although that is not always the case. I'm happy that I didn't have reconstruction.
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Wren....I am 78..... I wanted to have both breasts removed when I heard about my dx. Always said window decoration, but after listening to my BS talk to me and my 6 kids, I had a different opinion.....I chose the lumpectomy, with rads......the surgery was a walk in the park.......rads went very smoothly with little SE........I barely turned pink......yes, you do get fatigued, but eventually that too subsides. ...........what is the worst thing..........the AI that I have to be on for 5 years........that has beat the hell out of me.......I have been on it for 2 years......it is not unbearable, but it does take you down considerably.......understand, some of this could be age related, but I just know I felt much better with regards to my daily life before "Femara".
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Ducky,
Did you change your mind and go with the lumpectomy because of shorter recovery time, lymphedema concerns, no drains, something else?
Thank you for sharing.
regbeach
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Regbeach this must e so hard for u--I had a dle mast. and no pain whatsoecer---but did have chemo and rads--so u'r situation is very different but I do know having a mastectomy (except for drains, maybe) is so easy to go thru. It amazed me. So keep that in mind. too
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We
are all born with a belief in God.
It may not have a name or face.
We may not even see it as God.
But it is there.
It is the sense that comes over us as we stare into the starlit sky, or
watch the last fiery rays of an evening sunset.
It is the morning shiver as we wake on a beautiful day and smell a
richness in the air that we know and love from somewhere we can’t quite
recall.
It is the mystery behind the beginning of time and beyond the limits of
space.
It is a sense of otherness that brings alive something deep in our
hearts.
Kent
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Woke up to a white world this a.m. More about that later. Regbeach, I did the lumpectomy because it seemed easiest for me. My tumors were on the left side and I did/do have weakness from a stroke there. Carole is right....you can have issues with radiation, but as Ducky mentioned.....they also come with some of the AL's.
All of the things you may end up doing for cancer become what it takes for your recovery in addition to what makes you feel confident that you are doing what needs to be done to give you the highest opportunity to get yourself to NED. No Evidence of Any Disease left. I went all the way. At the time I didn't question needing radiation. It did not give me any problems. If it is chosen.....there is careful marking done, so as to target it to only the area that has or would be most vulnerable to escaping cancer cells.
What ultimately is done is a personal choice. I have known ladies who went through chemo and radiation just like I did and had almost no side effects, but while I did fine with radiation ( a little crispy rt. at the end ) I had a big struggle with chemo. The test of it all is that I would in fact, if I had to, do it all again. I have no true problems with Arimidex and have now only 9 more months to take it to reach my five yrs. on it. Don't know what will come next --- some Dr's like to leave you on it or something else. Overall, I've done ok with all of it. So you just have to study the options and decide what you feel is best on a highly personal level.
As to our snow....it has been a bit of a surprise partly due to the warmer temps we were having. Does not sound like more than an inch to inch and a half or two will come....and the temps will likely do away with it in short order. In a couple of days I bet we are back to bare ground again. Sigh !!!!! Good ole' global warming. We haven't the foggiest notion of what we will have or when and just have to sit back and let it all develop and not become too excited over any of it. I'm ready for some sun though. I can handle most anything if I can have a little sun with it.
See ya'll later,
Love and peace,
Jackie
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Regbeach, I hope you will get some good advice from your mother's drs. The best choices are what is best for her. Feel free to "talk it out" with us.
The sun is shining but it's cold out. 40's in the shade on my back porch. Still I plan to dress warm and play golf at mid-morning. I'm excited at getting out on the golf course again after all these weeks of rain.
Wishing everyone a good day.
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Regbeach......Believe me the minute the BS said, I am very certain this is a malignancy, I said.......take them both.....he said, we will have a long talk with you and your children after the biopsy........next day a 2 hour talk,,,,,he did not miss a beat, had diagrams, models of a tumor, stats, and histories of previous patients my age......while we were sitting there the Physician asst was there too...(a woman and a fantastic person).....as I said to the BS.... " I really prefer a mx, she motioned to me with her mouth....(that is a lot of surgery).
So why did I change my mind......Major discussion, made me realize a mx gave me no greater chance of survival....and ..was a drastic measure, and the confidence and trust I had in the BS, and patient history............I did have a drain, so forget that part.....also, anyone can get LE, and I did, even with a lumpectomy............I had 8 nodes removed, all clean, but the sentinel node did not take the dye, so the BS played it safe, and took 8..........My LE therapist had 30 removed and did not get LE.....so you get my point about that....my recovery time was fine, but again that was not a factor either............I had faith in my BS, my own thoughts after really listening, and talking to my 6 kids..........I do not regret my decision, other then the Femara.........but......YOU WILL STILL GO ON AN AI REGARDLESS OF WHICH PROCEDURE YOU CHOOSE........if you are ER +,and I was....
Good luck whatever you decide.......possibly if I were younger, and not 75 at dx I would have done something different......I am basing this on my age at dx......hugs0 -
Happiness is playing golf on a beautiful sunny day. And I was happy today! Am happy today still. It was good to see my Friday golfing companions.
DH just got home from his round of golf. He played a little later than I did. Now I'm looking forward to our 5 o'clock cocktail and a dinner of leftovers.
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Good evening,
Got up a 5 AM out the door at 6, at the Womans Imiging center at 9:15, out of center at Noon. Mamo was clean, praise the Lord. DH has to have shoulder surger on March 20, they are going to do an arthoscopy and see what they can do, hope nothing more.
Still is cool in the Mts of west texas, to warm up by Sun. I am working on my letter and plan on sending it to, HR, Pres. of SRSU, Labor board, Board of Regents and State of Tx. Leg. Rep. As far as I can see it is discrminanation for having cancer and its side effects. I really don't want anything just my side heard.
Hope you all have a good Sat. many errands to run hear.
Hugs
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Morning gals....Good to hear from you again ritajean.... I know what you mean about feeling better in different climates. We do too, when we go to Orlando! We are a mile-high here, and used to the 4 seasons, but man, it feels so nice in California and Florida! Don't those people there ever have aches and pains? Ha! You really notice a difference in our climate. So glad your two cats enjoyed your time in the sun!Bonnets, I have no idea about kidney stones... hope I never have to.. But I've heard it is soooo painful! So did they "fix" it? And it would be nice if sometimes we could just switch off our feelings, but we can't. Your Daughter will probably always love him, no matter what. And he loves her too, and even his bad behavior can't hurt how she feels about him. Hopefully, all of their problems will get better, with a little time and help.Carole, I remember making extra trips to the Dentist too! Was ready to have my two caps put on, but nope, after I got there, they had ordered the wrong color? I mean how hard is THAT? I meant to tell you, I met my Daughter and her friend, with HER Mom at the golf-course dining room! It was soo fun! And no-one was there, because there was a foot of snow on the course! But later a bunch of guys came in to eat and play cards together! Good food though, so it's one of OUR favorite places.Regbeach, doesn't it mean that if she is ER and PR positive that hormone therapy IS an option? Did I read it wrong? Your team DOES sound like they know what they are doing... Glad they are getting all the tests out of the way... Sometimes they don't recommend chemo, because of our age, also, AND any other problems.I had the needle-core biopsy also, but they didn't check my nodes at that time.... Before surgery, they DID inject that radio-active dye into the nipple, so it would flow up to the nodes, making it easier for them to find them, and take a few out for samples. (It takes a couple hours for the dye to get there before the surgery.)I had radiation, through a MammoSite device... It makes radiation so easy! Just a weeks worth of treatment compared to 5-6. They implant a little balloon device in the breast, then fill it with solution, and radiation seeds are sent into that through tubes, for only 8 minutes at a time, then taken out...and this goes on twice a day for 7 days. Then the device is removed.This can't be used on a lot of women, depending on WHERE the tumor is, etc. But it wouldn't hurt to ask about it. I had a Lumpectomy, obviously.... and I just sailed through everything....Except the Tamoxifen.Mommarch, sorry about your job issues... wish everything went smoother for you! Go get-em' girl!Yes, Ducky talks about Femara.... We don't like those "things".... I was on Tamoxifen and lost my hearing... I only took it for 14 months.... NO-one likes those after treatment recommendations, but they don't bother everyone... just some of us...Ducky, you have six kids? Man, you must have been busy!It's supposed to be warming up here... Maybe I can go a day without taking Aleve! Ha, ha! Have a great week-end gals.... Nascar tomorrow! xoxoxoMy gal-friend sent this to me... Do you gals remember the late 40's? I remember a little of those war years, but my folks loved Kate Smith! This video is beautiful, and you can get a glimpse of some of those old Stars, and Ronald Reagan, near the end...
Subject: God Bless America
Very worth looking at. We need more patriotic feelings for our country We love singing and hearing this song.But before you watch, you should also know the story of the song. The time was 1940. America was still in a terrible economic depression. Hitler was taking over Europe and Americans were afraid we'd have to go to war. It was a time of hardship and worry for most Americans. This was the era just before TV, when radio shows were HUGE, and American families sat around their radios in the evenings, listening to their favorite entertainers, and no entertainer of that era was bigger than Kate Smith. Kate was also large in size, and the popular phrase still used today is in deference to her is, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings". Kate Smith might not have made it big in the age of TV, but her voice made her the biggest star of her time.
Kate was also very patriotic. It hurt her to see Americans so depressed and afraid of what the next day would bring. She had hope for America, and faith in her fellow Americans. She wanted to do something to cheer them up, so she went to the famous American song-writer, Irving Berlin (he wrote "White Christmas") and asked him to write a song that would make Americans feel good again.When she described what she was looking for, he said he had just the song for her. He searched his files and found a song that he had written way back in 1917, but never published. He gave it to Kate Smith and she worked on it with her studio orchestra. She and Irving Berlin were not sure how the song would be received by the public, but both agreed they would not take any royalty profit from God Bless America. All profits would go to the Boy Scouts of America.
Over the years, the Boy Scouts have received millions and millions of dollars in royalties from this song.
This video starts out with Kate Smith coming into the radio studio with a live orchestra and audience. She introduces the new song for the very first time then starts singing. After the first couple of verses, with her voice in the background still singing, scenes are shown from the 1940 movie, "You're In The Army Now." At the video 4:20 mark you'll see a young actor in the movie, sitting in an office, reading a paper. It is Ronald Reagan.
Frank Sinatra considered Kate Smith the best singer of her time, and said when he and a million other guys first heard her sing "God Bless America" on the radio, they all pretended to have dust in their eye when they wiped away a tear or two.
To this day, God Bless America stirs our patriotic feelings and pride in our country. Back in 1940, when Kate Smith went looking for a song to raise the spirits of her fellow Americans, I doubt she realized just how successful the results would be for her fellow Americans and for many generations of Americans that followed. Now that you know the story of the song, I hope you will enjoy it and treasure it even more.NOW HERE IS HOW "GOD BLESS AMERICA" SHOULD BE SUNG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=TnQDW-NMaRs#%210 -
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"A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable."
Billy Graham
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Oh Chevy I remember that everyone loved Kate Smith--she sant that sone like no one else ever did. I remember people saying that should be our song cuz u could remember the words I think. It is beautiful.
Carole that was a very short weather report but u got in some golf. Good for u--after my Dad retired he got a job for several summers as a starter and he loved it, then he got my oldest DD a job as a bartender there (she was working her way thru school) and he would tell people what they were doing wrong and to try different things and they all loved hime and listened to him. He never golfed a day in his life, but he figured he'd watch it so he knew. I use to wonder why my brothers never went there to golf---They go to FL every winter in order to keep golfing--they are serious about it too. Now my sister is there, but she doesn't golf at all. She just went to visit.
I hope everyone has a good Saturday and feel decently. I would say wonderful but as many bas we are--that's pushing it.
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