Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Kaara.... I have a gal-friend who works for a group of attorneys.... You can down-load copies, or even buy blank forms, for almost anything. POA, GPA, (Is it DPA?) even those forms for your last wishes.... Each one of you have to fill one out...... We couldn't make it out together.....We have ours made out, and didn't cost a thing, except for signing, with a notary. We bought SOME forms at a drug/novelty store. Call around, to see where they sell them.
Also your bank might have them.... We have our girls ON our accounts, also our home! My folks did this, so when something happens, a will is not necessary, because your kids names are already on your important accounts.
My Brother and I could sell their house, because we were ON the Deed. I was on Dad's account, so I could pay for his 24 hour care from his account, before he passed away.
I've been organizing all of our important stuff.... moving funds into savings instead of those blasted accounts for Bonds, Annuity's, etc! Also all the numbers they have to call, like SS, and Pensions.... etc. Even Banks, Credit Unions. AND they know our wishes.... about being cremated.
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DH and I have been working on this as well. Have the wills and medical legal papers in line, long-term care, pre-paid the funeral, have the cemetery plot and headstone is down. In the process of lining up all the paperwork in case the kids need to apply for medicaid. Had to do funeral arrangements for my mom because she refused to do them when she was capable and the stress of doing the paperwork for medicaid was daunting. I swore I would not put the kids through this. Most would fall on our daughters as our son has lived in Japan for 14 years. I call the file "Death and Dying." My kids do not find this amusing. One of our daughters has a hard time dealing with the thought of our making pre-arrangements.
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Jackie, You are right; family is a wonderful thing! I envy you that you have your daughter living w/ you. It will be almost 2 yrs that my son moved away & I just wish he'd move "home" again. I talk/text him every day but it just isn't the same as being able to visit him when I want to. I'm close to both of my sons, since I was the only parent they had growing up; although they do remember their Dad even though they were so young when he died.
Camille, I like how you said you are the drug pusher! Ha! I have been on an anti anxiety/anti depressant for awhile; even before I was diagnosed w/ BC. I admit it; I'm a worrier! Having struggled w/ finances, health problems, raising kids alone, etc. I've found myself a bit on the cynical side of life now.
Chevy, I agree w/ you. I did the exact same thing. My sons are beneficiaries 50/50 & I have them both on my Power of Attorney, my Health Care Proxy, & Living Will. It makes things so much easier for them when the time comes. They don't even have to worry about a cemetary plot; already have one w/ my name on the headstone! will be buried next to my late husband. I recommend that everyone should be pro active & get organized while they are still capable of making decisions. It's a bit morbid but unfortunately very necessary.
Hi to everyone else here & have a peaceful evening,
Linda
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I know Linda and Kathy.... I had to do this for my Grandma.... I was the only one.... But before she died, while she was still co-herent, I was made DPA... She went into dementia so fast, that she couldn't even remember what a bank was.... or that she had a Son or Daughter.... I took care of her, along with the Assisted Living.... But then she would forget to go eat.... etc. ..... I FINALLY found a good nursing home.... after trying 3 of THEM.... And by this time, she didn't even know where she was....
And then my folks.... People do not realize how HARD this is to go through! My Brother and I had to clean out, and put our folks house up for sale, within 2 weeks! We had a neighborhood "give-away".... but my heart was breaking. We finally left their home, with the For Sale sign out front, and went back to Nashville and Denver.....
And then at the SF airport! My huge bag weighed too much! I wanted to take home my Dad's stuff... and my Mom's keep-sakes! So I sat there, trying to take stuff out of one bag and putting it in the other! I was just sobbing...! Finally the attendant knew what I was doing, and said, "never-mind.... just put everything back together".... And they checked in my bags....
It was ALL GOING ON THE SAME PLANE for God's sake!
So I'm glad you guys are taking care of business....
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Thanks for the advice everyone. I have a Revocable Trust and it's complicated, but changing a small paragraph should have been easy. Anyway, they called and said everything would be ready tomorrow so I will go in and sign and pay them their damn money and never use them again! They have left me no options since I fly back on Friday.
Had a nice lunch with my DD and DGS...sushi. He won't eat veggies, so I got to eat all of his vegetable tempura...he would only eat the shrimp. It was yummy!
Lunch tomorrow with a girlfriend and then turn my lease car in and pack for my flight back. All in all it's been a great week.
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The last two days have been gorgeous. I played in a 2-day golf tournament and won 4th place in my flight. A $20 gift certificate to Target. The golf cart rental for 2 days was $40 and lunch was $20 so I'm $40 in the hole! But I enjoyed myself.
On the way home today I stopped at a cheapie nail place and had a manicure. The polish is a gel that lasts about 3 weeks. The employees are all Vietnamese and the girl that does my nails is really nice and does a good job. Since the cost is low, I give her a good tip.
Tomorrow DH and I will be driving to Stockbridge, GA, to my youngest brother's house. Friday night we'll be attending my niece's graduation at U. of GA in Athens. I'm proud of her but how I hate graduations. They have to be the most boring ceremonies in the world. May I can check bc.org on my phone during the ceremony! It's funny that I skipped my graduation ceremony at the U of GA. I said, "Mail me my diploma. I'm going home to Louisiana!"
We'll be taking our golf clubs to play some golf with my brother, who is a good golfer.
Isn't that kidnapping story in Cleveland a horror story? There's no punishment harsh enough for that man. The very idea of keeping three young women prisoners in a house for 10 years! It's unthinkable. There is so much evil in this world and you just never know when an evil person is living in your own neighborhood.
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Don't Wait! Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special
occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher0 -
It has been gorgeous here, but we are awaiting rain. It is so beautiful outside with all the NEW green everywhere. One of the best parts of living in the forest....enveloped by green growth and in Spring....it all really looks new too. It is always an inspiration to me.....makes me feel like I should go on....to where and what who knows, but I should go on.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Oh jackie u have so much romantic enthusiasm for life--it's wonderful
Now let's get down to reality. Oh those poor 3 well women now what a nightmare for all of them and their families. And I can't imagine if being over for these women just because they're free==this has to be horrific for them. U know how I get all involved with these stories---Now I am officially involved. I just got over the Jodi trial finally it ended. That was a ong one. Now this. Evil never sleeps.
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Camille, you know you are right. Evil really does never sleep. I'd like to think that it is just a string of bad things, but if you multiply just through the 50 states.....then you have a lot of horror going on. I am so very, very happy those girls were rescued. I truly can't imagine being held by someone for that length of time, but it has happened before and probably will again. I know it will take a long time to get over the ten years that they can't get back. It is just beyond me to be robbed of your life.....while you are still living and I presume praying every day to be rescued in some way. I fear I would have given up hope long before.
As for Jody Arias....I may have a kind streak but not for her. She is evil too. What little I could watch of that trial.....there was no REAL emotion from her....and that is total lack of conscience. The rules are for others. A lot is made of a person's childhood.....and I do think at times it can play into things -- but that is if you are normal. If you have no conscience....than all bets are off. Whatever happens to her....she is very deserving.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Afternoon ladies: Long busy day...ready to go back to SC tomorrow to my sweetie! I got everything I needed to do done...having dinner with DS#3 tonight as I am turning in my lease car and he's picking me up from the dealership.
Carole: Congrats on the golf tournament win...awesome...it's all about having fun. I hope you fare better than I did with the gel manicures...I had to stop them because my nails were becoming thin and weak, but loved them while they lasted.
So much news good and bad. I'm pleased that the women in Cleveland were found alive along with that poor little child, but sad that they had to endure so much horror over 10 years. Now we'll hear all the abuse excuses from the suspect...how he was mistreated as a child and that's why he's the way he is...please! Same with Jody Arias...they always want to throw the parents under the bus to save themselves. Anyway, her jury was a lot more savy than the Casey Anthony jury. Her little speech about wanting the death penalty was, I think, reverse psychology, hoping that the jury would give her life to punish her. Hope it doesn't work.
It's tuning up for a huge storm outside..I hear the thunder. Please get over before I fly tomorrow!
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Hi gals! It seems like forever since I've posted. First we had our trip south to see the "kids" and the Scotty McCreery concert. We had a great time and I finally got to see my grandsons play baseball. How I envy you grandmas that are close enough to go to your grandchildren's activities on a regular basis! There's nothing like a Little League game! We had several laughs.
Then we got home to an overgrown yard that needed lots of work and I've been tackling that between rains. I am finally getting a grip on it and it's shaping up pretty well. I was supposed to divide hostas with a friend today so I had some more for a new area I'm creating under the trees but we got rained out so that's on the agenda tomorrow.
We've only golfed a few times because the courses have been way too wet around here. What a difference from last year!
Carole, thanks for the book info. I have written it down and will look it up the next time we get to the library. I hope your golfing has been going well.
I have just skimmed the posts from the last few weeks and will try to get back in the groove tomorrow. I hope everyone is doing well! Hello to all of you!
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Hello Ladies. Ihave not been on here in eons. I so appreciate the conversation about things outside of "me". I have read articles that say a lot of people want the perpatrator of the mess in OH to be charged with much more than he has. Seems like he is getting a slap on the wrist.
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Hi Ladies,
Went to the MO today and chemo was recommended (CT) since triple negative. It was so much to digest I haven't even told my brother the details. I posted this on the chemo thread but would like your sage comments too. We are going back in a week to determine if moving forward with it.
The MO said his biggest concern is her being able to communicate how she feels. Abstract things are difficult to explain- like, numbness and tingling. So, even today, we had a hard time getting a clear answer on if she has any now. A couple months ago, I think one medicine gave her some tingling because I would catch her looking at her hand and turning it over to look at the other side. She had never done that before. Dizzy and nauseous I've been able to communicate through gestures but who knows what she might be feeling with CT and not be able to tell us.
She has really thick hair that all her shower aides have complimented her on. I know she really identifies with it. I also know that her sister will lecture me on putting my mom through this if we decide to do it. Her sister (whose son died of cancer) thought getting a biopsy was a bad idea- "that some people just live with it" and biopsies can spread cancer. I drew pictures for my mom for her to choose lumpectomy/mastectomy. I will certainly talk to my mom more about chemo. I showed her a wig catalog. Ultimately, my brother and I will be deciding/influencing.
My fear of course is if one of the rare side effects happens or some terrible infection or complication. On one hand, she is just getting back on a consistent therapy schedule after some medication side effect issues so it is difficult to think about another detour, and we have been looking forward to enjoying summer activities and taking another trip. On the other hand, I know that chemo is her best defense for the future. The MO said some people choose quality of life and skip chemo (though he says it will be beneficial and recommends it for mom.) I should've asked- that's a few months quality of life, right? The long term effects are rare. One could be permanent numbness in hands/feet especially if she has any now. He is skipping one chemo drug that can cause permanent heart damage.
If we proceed, it would start in a couple weeks. One infusion every 3 weeks for 4 cycles (possibly 6 if tolerated well). Hair will start to fall out in 3 weeks. First week of each cycle some nausea (though they try to prevent with medicine), 2nd week fatigue, 3rd week feel "fine". Then, it starts again. Other possible side effects- diarrhea which can be severe enough to require IV, low WBC which can lead to severe infection, mouth sores, nail changes, hair loss everywhere. Most people get 2 or 3 side effects. And, I thought deciding on surgery was hard! I asked if "it was a big mess" after the first cycle if we could stop. He said we could but that it won't be a big mess.
At some point, he recommends genetic counseling- they have to talk to us before doing the test for the BRCA gene mutation because if it comes back positive, they don't want people freaking out. If Mom is positive for the gene, then of course I "would" get tested and if I am positive, they would recommend for me prophylactic masectomy and hysterectomy with ovaries removed. But one step at a time... there is a chemo decision to be made.
It's been quite a day.
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Regbeach....Ask if she would be a candidate for CMF chemo. There are less side effects and very minimal hair loss, usually not enough to warrant a wig. It is usually spread out over a longer period of time. There are a few moreo treatments which increases the duration of the journey but most can tolerate it well and continue on with normal daily functions. I know it is not recommended for everyone and I am no doctor, but it might be worth it to ask about it. When I did the CMF chemo, I had 6 IV tranfusions spread 3 weeks apart. That was 6 years ago and now I think most oncs are doing 8 treatments. Hugs to you all as you sort through this decision-making process.
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The source of love is deep in us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring him or her joy. One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. One action can save a person’s life or help them take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions. If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle. Because understanding is the very foundation of love, words and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful. Thich Nhat Hanh
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Good morning and so sorry for those dreaded marks. I deleted on the other thread ( IllinoisLadies ) that I post on and re-entered by first putting the quote in an email. Most of the time it works, but didn't today....so I just left it alone above. Grrr..
regbeach...I do see this as quite a problem when someone has major difficulty explaining their possible side effects ( shortened if you see it elsewhere as se's ). I would follow Rita's suggestion and see if the CMF chemo could be a possibility for your Mom. All of the se's in general have a "fix" -- even if it is a wig, but I'm sure if there is a way to 'spare' your Mom as much as you can, then I would find out about the CMF and whether maybe a lower dose of the CT....I'm assuming it is Cytoxin and Taxotere might be possible if the CMF is not an option.
With that in mind....hair is an issue for just about everyone. It does come back, of course, but the truth is....all of us, no matter what age, have had hair on our heads all of our lives. To suddenly start to lose it is a somewhat diminishing feeling. As well, it is dying hair which means it looks different and feels different while it is happening. Most women schedule a time to have it all removed. Usually a short while after it starts coming out.
There are of course rare se's which certainly has to be a consideration within your decision. It is hard to say since no one has any way of knowing who will be the slight few that get them. I guess to some degree we all take a chance with those things.
There can be infections...I had a really nasty case of esophageal thrush which required a lot of magic mouthwash. That is something using three different items mixed by the druggist -- but it worked. I also was put on ( should have been on it the whole time ) omeprazole since some of the chemo drugs are hard on the tummy. Make sure about that -- many bases to cover here.
I know this is hard for you. You have to try and use your gut instinct for someone else. It is damned if you do or don't sort of situation. I guess in the end one has to think......hopefully and for the most part she sounds like it won't be a loooong course of chemo -- mine was 6 months -- but still for the most part the same se's as if it were really long. So, short duration is a favorable thing and I would assume that wbc will be watched and can be 'helped' with an injection if it goes down.
I don't envy your having to make this decision at all but you really care about your Mom and I think your wish is to help her have the BEST life she can with her remaining years. I know doing nothing is a possibility and that is what your Aunt thinks is best, but again, no one knows who can "live with it" and not have it come back and who can't. I don't think biopsies spread cancer. I'm sure your Aunt means well but I am concerned that her son actually had cancer and passed away with her not seeming to know too much about the disease other than "just living with it". I think people -- no matter what is wrong with them usually don't opt to "just live with whatever it is".
I hope more people here will come in with their thoughs. I'll be thinking and praying with and for you to come to an answer that you, your brother and your mother can feel is the best thing to do.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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There are no accidents… there is only some purpose that we haven’t yet understood. Deepak Chopra
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Peace and love
Jackie
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There are six principles of abundant living which, when woven together,
produce a tapestry of contentment that wraps us in inner peace,
well-being, happiness, and a sense of security. First there is gratitude.
When we do a mental and spiritual inventory of all that we have, we realize
that we are very rich indeed. Gratitude gives way to simplicity--the desire
to clear out, pare down, and realize the essentials of what we need to live
truly well. Simplicity brings with it order, both internally and externally.
A sense of order in our life brings us harmony. Harmony provides us with the
inner peace we need to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us each day,
and beauty opens us to joy. But just as with any beautiful needlepoint
tapestry, it is difficult to see where one stitch ends and another beings.
Sarah Ban Breathnach0 -
Good morning. It has been quiet here. I sure hope every one had a great Mother's Day. I did. Though cool we turned on the outdoor barbecue and had steaks, ribs, and chicken cooked, along with corn on the cob and baked beans. Other than the cooking.....no one did too much.
We are going to be warm today with temps soaring to the 90's tomorrow. A little hot and a little soon so I am concerned a bit about summer time already. Just have my fingers crossed that we don't go into a repeat of last year with high temps early and never letting up.
Today I go for a PCP check-up and am hoping to once again get a good report. The blood test was done last week so everything should be ready. I do have a couple of issues myself...apart from everything else. Have a tick bite on my lower jaw which happened Friday. It is miss behaving a little, but overall I think is fine. I have the knee that swelled some time ago and has never really gone down and so I'll get it checked not that I'm going to be going to this appt.
Will be nice to get this all out of the way for a yr.
Hope you all have a wonderful day today and will have really good weather to go along with it.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Jackie.....Good luck today with your test results! My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through the yearly "check." Hugs!
I hope that everyone had a good Mother's Day. Dave spoiled me by taking me out to a Mother's Day Buffet. My son sent me a lovely card and some gift cards for food and books. I took time out of my day to remember my mother in heaven and others who were like mothers to me and are no longer here. I think of them often, but it's especially bittersweet on Mother's Day.
Tomorrow I'm going to see a naturalist to see if he has any natural tricks that might help boost my immune system and get rid of inflammation in the body. I know this sounds crazy but I feel that my body is out of balance. There are several little things that are going wrong and it's depressing. Maybe he can help. If not, I will make an appointment this summer for a complete check-up to see if my internist can figure out what's happening.
Well, I have lots to do around here today and a very busy week ahead of me so I'd better get off this computer and get moving.
Have a good Monday!
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Hi, everyone, and a belated Happy Mother's Day to you moms. DH and I drove to Stockbridge, GA, on Thurs. and returned home today. My baby brother's daughter graduated from the U of GA and we attended the graduation with the proud parents.
The weather was gorgeous and I played golf on Friday morning with my brother and dh at Eagle's Landing golf course, which is very beautiful with rolling hills and pretty vistas. The LPGA played a tournament there every year for a number of years so I had seen the course on tv.
We ate too much during our visit and I will probably break the scales tomorrow morning. I plan to get up early and go to the YMCA to exercise before I keep a couple of apptments, one with the dermatologist and one with my eye dr.
It was a nice visit but, as always, we're happy to get back home.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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Good test results but I need to re-visit my old, old, old, friend --- my diet and she said she'd be happy if I lost 10 #'s. If I can lose that much....why stop there.
See you all in the morning.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Jackie, Look at the thread 'Wednesday Weigh-in'. It's been really helpful to keep me on track (sort of).
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Whatever it is probably won't go away, so we might as well live and
laugh through it. When we double over laughing, we're bending so we
won't break. If you think your particular troubles are too heavy and
too traumatic to laugh about, remember that laughing is like changing
a baby's diaper. It doesn't solve any problems permanently, but it
makes things more acceptable for awhile.
Barbara Johnson0 -
Good Morning on the morning it will be 90 degrees. Hard to believe. Hopefully it is a fluke and we won't go soaring too much in the following days. I'm still feeling some concern that JUNE will turn into a deep summer month again.....so just in case....best enjoy these days that are here. They are in fact, perfect. We are all filled in now and seem almost alone back here in our little woods. Green and gorgeous and just the right amt. of wetness.
Wren I'll be looking up that thread for sure. I know a lot less white food is going to get on my plate and I'm already missing it a bit.....but I'm already cutting way back on cream in my coffee. I use the flavored creams....fortunate that my cholesterol numbers are fine.
Anyway, hope you all have a fantastic day. See you later.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Hi everyone,
Still feeling depressed w/ things but FINALLY I will get started w/ radiation. Today I had a simulation, tomorrow is a "dry run" & on Thursday, my 1st treatment! I really expected these treatments to happen sooner, like right after I went for my follow up w/ the Surgeon. I didn't know the process was so complex & detailed. Meeting w/ the RO, then the MO, then had to have a CT scan, then markings & stickers, then MORE markings, measurements & stickers, more xrays, etc. But I'm sure you all know all of that already.
Jackie, I will trade you your 90 for my 30's,40' & 50's here!!! It's been so cold here; we've had freeze advisories @ night!!!
Have a nice evening ladies,
Linda
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Jackie, good news on your checkup. You can drop those 10 lbs. I have confidence in you. I like the WW approach. Make your goal 5 lbs and celebrate your success at each achievement of the 5 lb goal.
Today was busy and fairly successful. My dermatologist is biopsying the bump on my cheek that appeared about 2 days after my last apptment with her a few weeks ago. I'll know in about a week whether the bump will need to be surgically removed.
A trip to the Toyota dealer solved the problem of the noisy A/C fan. I picked up a printout of my lab report from my Primary Care dr. who is doubling my statin from 20 mg to 40 mg. There was also a trip to Walmart to pick up a prescription and buy some fruit. And a stop at CVS pharmacy to pick up a prescription for dh.
Hi to all. Hope everyone had a good day.
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