Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hoping to hear from Chevy soon right here. On another note --- I think some of you may be watching the Jody Arias trial. She received a first degree murder conviction just a short while ago. Then her jury went back into deliberations to decide her penalty. It can only be death or life.
Early this evening --- her jury came back with the finding that they could not make a unanimous decision. I' feel so sad for the Alexander family. They have been in the courtroom for the last five months waiting for justice for their young family member.
I would not often feel this way but I truly feel that she should get the death penalty. She hasn't a conscience and I find her a frightening person for that. She is a master manipulator.
Anyway....just needed to say it out loud I guess.
Peace and love despite this very sad topic.
Jackie
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Carole, your rain moved on, up here. Some flooding east of us, raining here.
Local school has had a prom night accident, but not kids....a limo heading to the prom, one fatality. I imagine the parents thought their kids were safe. Sad.
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"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and
disappointments; but let us have patience, and we soon shall see them in their
proper figures." Joseph Addison0 -
Oh my goodness, Bonnets, that is sad! What more can you do for your high school kids than hire for them what you think is safe transportion. I really feel for those parents.
This morning I will be missing my golf outing again. I managed to get an apptment with a plastic surgeon to discuss having him remove a small cancer from my face instead of having the dermatologist remove it. She left quite a scar on my leg when she removed a basal cell a couple of years ago. In her defense, she had to gouge out quite a bit of flesh since the cancer had grown back on an old scar where a basal cell was removed about 10 yrs before this one grew.
My new little cancer is not basal cell and has a long name that I don't remember. It's supposed to be slow-growing but I want it gone.
I wear sun screen on my face every day whether I play golf or not, but the skin dr. says the damage was done years ago during the sun bathing years.
After the apptment I will do some grocery shopping for my mother.
No cooking tonight. We're going out to dinner with a couple who live next door on land we sold them. DH is in the mood for Mexican.
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Carole, glad it is not an aggressive skin cancer. As for the removal, the drs have guidelines on the depth and margins they must take when removing them. My hubby had a melanoma removed from his face last year. They really took a lot, a couple of inch long scar for something that was maybe 1/4 inch diameter. He was blonde and a landscaper. I call him my leopard, he has so many spots! I had sent him to the derm last Oct, but had a meeting, so didnt go along. He says the derm asked if he wanted it frozen off, he didn't care, dr. did nothing.. by feb I was still not liking it and sent him back. Different dr. biopsey , Melanoma. Scarier than BC as far as I am concerned. So far so good!Anyway glad yours is being removed. DH has also had a number of pre-cancerous removed.
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Hi ladies,
Had my 7th rads treatment today; 26 more to go:( Going to my sisters' lake house tomorrow for the weekend. REALLY need to get away. No support or concern around here.
Hope everyone has a safe & healthy Memorial weekend.
Linda
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Linda.....yes....good for you, go where some one wants to REALLY know what you are feeling and cares how you are getting along.
Some men and a few other family members as well....just haven't a clue how to respond. They don't want any kind of intrusion in the little kingdom they have working for themselves. My dh was the opposite.....sorta wanted to be in on all of it. Now I did appreciate it, but there were times when I thought it maybe was almost getting into an almost vicarious situation. That part was good.....the part where I had to clean up the stomach contents myself because he just 'couldn't' wasn't so great. So.....in the cancer tx world....nothing is really perfect.....and I feel somewhere inside these men are really, really afraid and can't say it. Sigh !!!! Still makes it hard. Anyway.........go and enjoy.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Linda, I hope you enjoy your weekend and relax.
I can't say enough positive things about the support I got from my dh. Best of all, he didn't hover too much but just gave me the space I needed to rest and heal. I don't like a lot of attention when I'm not feeling good. I'm like an old dog that wants to find a quiet place to suffer!
My skin cancer is actinic keratosis. I'm scheduled to have it removed at a surgery center next Wed. A pathologist will be on hand to examine the margins so the plastic surgeon can close up the incision permanently, not just temporarily. If there weren't a time constraint, I would have the cancer removed at the PS's office and he would send it off to a lab. We would wait for the results before he did a permanent closure on the incision. But we're planning to depart for the summer on June 18th so this is the fastest course.
I went by the surgery center for the pre-opt, which was a little overkill for what I consider a minor procedure.
Then on to Walmart to do my mother's grocery shopping. Then the drive to her house to make the delivery. My younger sister was there so I got to visit with her a while. This sister lives near my mother.
Now I'd better go try to freshen up a bit for dinner out with our neighbors. DH was just checking out all the Mexican restaurants in the area on his computer.
Have a nice evening.
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Carole, Do they consider Actinic Keratosis cancer? I was always told they are precancerous, with around a 20% chance of becoming cancerous. DH has had a number removed.
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"The major value in life is not what you get. The major value
in life is what
you become."
-- Jim Rohn0 -
Bonnets, they do consider this little red bump on my face cancer.
It's a pretty summer day. DH and I slept in. I'm drinking my first cup of coffee. My immediate plan is to go for a walk this morning, then do a little work in the yard. This afternoon I'll cook a big batch of spaghetti sauce for tomorrow's noon dinner at my mother's house. She contributed a big bag of frozen meatballs. My sister will bring some garlic bread to heat up. I'll bring a green salad for those few who eat salad and we'll cook some broccoli my mother has in her freezer and throw together a cheese sauce. Dah-DAH. Dinner!
Now that my niece doesn't have her male live-in, she and her three kids usually show up for Sunday dinner. We have to plan something that they'll eat. Now that it's hot, we don't like to use the oven. So menu choices are limited. Of course, there's always take-out fried chicken! The kids love that. They've been raised on take-out and frozen-heat-up-in-the-microwave.
We enjoyed our dinner out with the neighbors at a nice Mexican restaurant. It was a little pricier than your typical Mexican restaurant but the food was good and it was quiet enough to carry on conversation. I had chiles rellenos and two margaritas that were sweetened with agave instead of sugar.
Hope everyone has a good Saturday.
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Good Morning all
Oh Carole u had a nice night last nite and now u'll have a busy day--u have lots of energy and I love that for u. I'm glad u have u'r procedure ll clumped together cuz everyone will know immeditely wht to do. Good Thinking and I certainy hope all goes well with very litte scarring and not hurting.
It's cloudy and rainy here for people who are partying today and tomorrow--so I wish them all good luck.
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Hi gals! Just finished watching the Nationwide Carole, Ha! And Kyle did it again! Geez, that guy is good!
I've been so busy working in my gardens, at least when it is cool early in the mornings! Still have some cleaning to do, spraying lawn furniture, planting tomato plants, AND filling flower pots...
And I've been watching the neighbor "girls" for a week now! They are six chickens, and their "parents" won't be home until Friday! So I tip-toe over there every morning and take EVERYthing I think they will eat, like watermelon, carrots, popcorn, fresh picked dandilyons, and even blackberries from my freezer.... They aren't laying yet, but should be maybe by July!
I'm just amazed I'm not afraid of them.... Like I am geese! But so far so good!
Bonnets, I don't think that is considered any type of cancer.... but everytime I get a new "thing" I get it checked.... It's usually a keratosis though. I've had 2 skin cancers, one squamos, and one basal-cell.... My youngest Daughter has had a LOT, but I think a lot of that has to do with heredity? And our type of skin? My PC called them .... oh now I can't remember what she said! They stick on sides of boats? It's an awful name, but it just cracked me up!
Little Jackie.... Yes, I think men are more afraid than we are.... They feel so helpless when something is wrong with us! It's almost like we can't talk about it with them, because we don't want them to worry!
Sorry I haven't been posting much with you guys, but I promise I will take the time to at least say "Hey!" Ha!
Have a beautiful week-end gals! xoxoxoxo
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You guys! I wracked my brain, and thought of Barnacles! It's barnacles that my Doc said we grow.... A Sailor patient told her that.... Ha!
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Aha....I thought you'd never show up again. So glad you are back and will give us a hi now and then. I'll catch you later.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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chevy, you made my day by checking in and chatting with us! I'm trying to visualize you feeding the chickens! How about a photo?
I had a wonderful afternoon out on the golf course. If our weather was like today during the summer, I wouldn't leave. It was sunny and warm but not humid and a little breeze was blowing.
I feel pleasantly tired as I sip my vodka martini.
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Chevy, Most chickens are pretty calm - until you snatch their eggs. I was terrified of my aunt's chickens because they were at my eye level when they fussed about her getting their eggs. I've only heard of roosters nipping, and not that often. Geese, on the other hand, are deserving of a wide berth.
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Oh Chevy leave it to u to have to show a picture--ick that looks horrible to me.
Carole I'm glad u'r golfing that always makes u feel happy.
Wren I don't blame u about chickens. And geese are wicked--they have junkyard geese too.
Weather is a little off here with rainy chilly weekend , I have my winter nightgown on again.
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Ha, ha Cammi, that's FUNNY! Junk yard geese! Yes, the ones that used to chase me going back and forth to the out-house used to just terrify me! I was only about 7 I think. My Brother would be rolling in the dirt laughing...
Okay, yes Carole, I'll take some pictures of my back-yard chicks! I have to see what I have in the freezer and fridge for them this morning!
And Wren! I don't know anything about getting their eggs, yet. Their "Parents" can do that...I guess I could try it with garden-gloves when they start laying? "They" go up to Estes Park at least once a month, to stay in their cabin there.... Actually it's owned by HIS Parents who live out of State. I mean "THEY" go.... not the chickens! (They're not old enough to drive yet.)
And Wren, I have some of those Barnacles... mixed in with all the shells we have collected on our trips to the beach around Orlando/Daytona Beach area! I put them on top of my house-plants, like orchids, and my Aloe's! They look prettier than just soil.... And I've made a lot of shell hangings with them.....
Little Jackie! Of COURSE I will always be here! I could never go a day without reading or "talking" with you! How exciting that you get to think about maybe moving over a bit to another lake-front house? THAT'S a lot to think about...... It's hard enough thinking of how I'm going to arrange my gardens....Ha!
I'm so glad you have helped Kate & Ron with their move... I know you love them being with you. Nothing like being close to one of our "kids."
Okay gals.... trying to water my lawn, by running out there every 10 min..... We are all on water restrictions.... just 2 days a week... and NOT after 10a/m .... and then only after 6p/m! It's a pretty bad draught here in this area, but always has been I think.... Just there are soooooooo many more families living here now! And when they tear down an older home, they build huge 3 story doubles or triples in the same space!
So a lot more people using water. Most now, are NOT putting in lawns.... Just rock, or bark, an trees/bushes that use little water.
Talk to y'all later! xoxoxo
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Hi Chevy we must be old everyone is still not on the boards maybe sleeping--or we're boring cuz we're not out partying. Either way it's crap.
I'm surprised u have drought problems where u live I mean - I would think CO would be OK, I mean with all the skiing and stuff that melts. Boy we're all in drought, TROOOUUUble.
I really like u'r chicken stories hahaha I would be screaming the whole time. but they actually sound ute. Are u supposed to give them all that other food? Sounds like u'r stuffing them already. LOL
Hve a good day. Hugs
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Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your won. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
Christian D. Larsen
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Good Morning Jackie that was a super thought this morning.
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Good morning.....before I get dressed and run to the store. Should have done it yesterday, but got into chatting with my friend --- she lives right next to the house we want to look at....maybe some time today.
For anyone not in on the whole story......we told our kids we would ( at some point when things were going ok ) give them our house and find an apt. or something to rent. Houses are not selling here well at all and haven't been. Making a long story short.....that essentially means that some of the 'lake' houses are now on a rent to own basis. That means some of our ideas have gone through if not re-arrangement totally......at least a willingness to think about a smaller house --- even a rent to own one.
Anyway....we are looking, thinking, and just overall wondering if it could be possible.
Lots of people have had chickens around here though they are not as common now. Where I grew up there were always chickens. Nothing to hear roosters crowing to "celebrate" the morning.
Chevy....too funny about your feeding the chickens. I'm like Camille.....somehow thinking about Colorado doesn't evoke drought to me. We had that going on last yr./summer though and I know it is not at all good. So many trees suffered here....some of the big pine trees just died, and everyone had ugly lawns. I know your yard will stay nice looking though......it is your oasis.
Carole...I know exactly what you mean by that statement -- never leaving if the weather stayed as it was. I do recall ( and it seems to have made such a change in these last climate change years ) when we first came back home here --- 15 years ago we didn't use the a/c until late in the yr. Maybe end of July or first week or two in August. We might have some humidity....but it was not constant. Mainly cool out here at the lake and a time or two I have wondered......did we make a mistake coming back here. Well, likely not as it is home and climate change will have an affect everywhere. So, guess we are ok. Just glad we don't seem to be starting out this season with drought-type temps as yet. We have so far had a fairly wet Spring so just holding our breath a bit hoping we gently into a little better than we had last yr.
Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday. We are going to a cousin's house for a fish-fry. Should be quite enjoyable. May rain.....but no wind so they would just open the big garage doors and we move move inside. Did that last yr. and it was fine.
Peace and love
Jackie
for the record I'm taking Grape Salad.
GRAPE SALAD
2 lbs. red seedless grapes
8 ozs. sour cream
3 ozs. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup pecans, ground fine
I usually cut the grapes in half if big. Stir them along with the sour cream and cream cheese, and sugar together. Mix brown sugar and pecans together. Sprinkle on top of your grape mixture.
Done.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Jackie sounds yummy, something I hve never had so good to know.
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Hi ladies,
I hope everyone is doing ok and having a restful three day weekend. I have not been on for a while and trying to catch up. Working long days do my boss having strep and being off work so this weekend is a blessing.
Carolehalst, good luck with your surgery. Hoping everything is good for you.
My DH was a great help when I had surgery. He changed the dressing on my incision since I had a hard time reaching it. He made jokes about it because he knew I was upset that he had to do it. I guess thats what they mean for better or worse but I would do the same for him.
I have about 7 minutes before my computer goes off.
Have a great weekend.
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Hi termite sounds like u'r doing OK---missed u.
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Jackie, lucky you. A fish fry! Sounds delicious.
It sounds kind of fun to move to a different house on the same lake. Then you and your daughter would be neighbors.
Termite, glad that things are going well for you even if you are busy.
I had a nice day. My mother and I attended the contemporary service at her church. Afterwards we went back to her house where my younger sister and I finished getting the noon dinner ready. We had spaghetti and meatballs, green salad, cauliflower and broccoli with cheese sauce, and garlic Texas toast. Nobody had made or bought dessert food so we had to make do with coffee afterwards. There were eight adults and three children but the children's mother took them somewhere to play on a water slide so we had a peaceful meal and afternoon.
Not sure what I will do tomorrow. Maybe some yard work in the morning and some shopping in the afternoon.
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Hi Ladies,
Thank you for all your comments about my mom and the chemo decision. Unfortunately, I am back to waffling again. It has been a hard day- lots of tears. Plus, my longtime boyfriend is being a jerk to put it mildly. He was supposed to come yesterday, then today (from our house in CT, to mom's house where I have been for the last 11 months) but he didn't show up, and didn't call me til 8 pm (because he wanted to avoid telling me he wasn't on the road). He got a new job in Feb. and has been traveling almost every week so we have not seen much of each other. Two weeks ago he tells me that he doesn't think he wants to move here, that he is living his life. This comes after I explained to him that I was ready to make plans and do things again, remember after the surgery I said I felt better about things. I apologized for being so wrapped up with mom, that it was very hard for me after the stroke, seizures, etc. That I was ready to get an aide so I could do things for myself, blah, blah. He had me so upset today- for the first time since the stroke I cried to my mom. She tried to tell me something but she held my hand and that was enough to know she understood and felt bad for me.
But, to what I really want to tell you. Mom's chemo was postponed from last week to this week (mostly, because I thought she was getting a cold which she wasn't). Just like last week, I am having second thoughts about the decision to proceed with chemo. One minute I feel confident and hopeful that the side effects will be managable. The next I think about how tired she is right after her hour long physical therapy...until she gets a root beer and a doughnut. (yes, I know not healthy). Or how she is tight after sitting on the couch for a few hours. And try to imagine if she will even be able to stand up on the "tired" days of chemo.
Plus, I mention chemo and that she will feel bad for a few days, but that it will go away, etc. I explain that it is best to kill any cancer cells now, because she might get cancer in a place they can't treat it. Remember she can't really speak, but has been able to understand more and more. Her phrase is "I don't know" which sometimes comes out when she can't find the "right words" she wants to say. Of course, sometimes it is an appropriate "I don't know", too.
When I talk about going for chemo, she says I don't know, then eventually makes a face and says no. I don't know if she can make rational decisions. Like, she decides if she wants to go the store or stay in the car, or if her clothes are dirty. But, somedays she would skip therapy if I didn't convince her to go, and sometimes she is impulsive and touches her toothbrush to the bottom of the sink (yuck!). My brother talks to mom and gets her to agree to trying at least one treatment to see how it goes. Then, I ask to confirm and she is back to "I don't know."
I can't imagine her anxiety about the whole thing (though with how much I've cried today, maybe I can). I think of how I procrastinate and postpone and would do anything to get out of a colonoscopy...this is way more than that. She went through fatigue issues when getting adjusted to anti-seizure meds. She missed alot of therapy and her walking and strength suffered.
It is so hard to know what is right. The doctor says because she is improving we should do it. I know it is her best defense. Sometimes my brother says- maybe, we should cancel it, if mom doesn't want it, she has been through so much in the last year, maybe we should let her enjoy the progress she has made, and just see what happens.
Back and forth we go. And I still haven't told her sister.
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Sorry for the previous long post. Thanks for reading. You are all so supportive. Here is quick story I wanted to share. I know that not all of you may believe in angels or in "signs" but sometimes, well, it's hard not to believe.
I was having a bad day a couple wee was accomplishing so much, that she could tell that mom had faith, that she could see it in her eyes. I started to cry...the woman continued to talk about God's strength and mom being strong so that I too could be strong. That the next time she saw usks ago- right before we had to tell the dr. about the chemo decision. I texted my boyfriend to pray for me, which I have never done before- and he's not really a "pray-er". I went back into mom's therapy and a woman that I noticed before was talking to mom. She had a long necklace with a big, wooden cross. She was telling mom that she was strong, that she, mom would be improving still and I would be joyful.
I told the woman we were facing a chemo decision. She held my hand and prayed with me. She felt like chemo was the right choice. When I went outside, there was a truck parked alongside the sidewalk that I have not seen there before. It said "chemotherapeutic waste" on the side.
That day chemo felt like a good decision. The "universe" was speaking clearly. I wanted to share that story with you.
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Oh Reg I do believe in angels and sometimes they come for a few months or a few minutes to give us strength and help Wow. I certainly can't give u advice cuz I don't know really--I do think if it was my mom I would go for it, if she couldn't make the decision, but my mom made her own decision and stopped all chemo and blood transfusions--we could not talk her into it. So that's why it;s so tough and my mom believed her decision was the best for her cuz she was tired of being so sick. ????? Iy's horrendous.
And now u'r boyfriend is making u feel bad, of all times he knows what u'r going thru,but some ment feel like u decide and go from there and that's it. They have a hard rime with the whole story so maybe tht's why, plus u're not seeing each other as much---u'r in a spinning time and my prayers ggo out to u and like I said whatever decision u make it is the right one- (((HUGS)))
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