Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Linda....yep, we have all pretty much been put through the mill with getting PREPARED for our rads sessions. Just look at it this way --- they are trying very hard to be meticulous so that no organs or anything that should not be gets hit with the radiation. Saving everything but possible cancer cells. It is a bit of a time-taker, but they want you to end up with eradicating everything bad while leaving everything good intact.
I think it only got to about 88 today --- nice part is that we are under all these trees.....and if we keep a cross-draft going in the house and the fans running....you walk in and it feels like air-conditioning is on. I went over and looked....just to be sure. It is nice now but we do reach a part of the year ( summer time ) where that just won't do the trick. Fine now though.
Yes....I'm going to have to work on eating healthier and watching calories and holding back on desserts, and the biggie.....getting just a bit more exercise. Not so easy when I'm taking care of a person in a wheel chair....sigh !!!! But, I find ways of doing things so onward for me.
Going to make some cold foods for dinner tonight.....some pea salad is on the menu.
Talk to you gals later.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Just checking in...this thread has been pretty quiet so I can feel caught up.
Belated Mother's Day wishes. I had a great day with DD#1 & DD#2 and their families (4 grandkids)...we went to buffet brunch on the bay. I had a visit or call from every child (6).Tomorrow is my last day of classes, to be followed by a week's vacation. I can't wait...
But first, I have to travel 3 hours to a funeral and stay overnight (my brother's MIL - his wife is like a sister to me). He was 89 and had a wonderful life.My bath is more than 50% done now...am getting excited as tiled shower is shaping up to replace the tub. Three of four walls done now. Next the floor; install the shower door; new bowl; and vanity. Only problem is, I don't have those things yet...
am busy looking.The weather finally got warm over the week end but now chilly again. My rhodedendrons are blooming, and the grass is mostly up in our cleared yard. It's a lot of work compared to letting the woods and vines grow and watching the trees be crowded out.
Soon I'll have days very flexible and no classes, so maybe I can keep up!
J0 -
Jackie good results ---great----so nice to hear.
Linda what so funny is it takes more time to get ready for them and they take such a little amount of time from u'r day and all u have to do is lay down. So it'sll be over soon.
Carole I'm so happy u always get to golf ad I know how happy that makes u.
Rita u have a good idea about seeing someone, I know what u mean--I feel all of us have balance and we feel it if it's off so u need to do something. Our bodies need balance as our minds. (well my mind is tilted but for so long now--it's my own balance)
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Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining
self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure
your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible
defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your
mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take
yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino0 -
Joan...how great to go on a week's vacation. I think it is probably a great time too. Right before full -out summer so you don't have to be wringing wet half the time.
It is wonderful to share Mother's Day. Got to really enjoy it this yr. with my daughter living here so I know 'once' more how sweet it can feel.
Sorry to hear about the MIL but 'except for the reason' sounds like you can enjoy people you have had a wonderful relationship with along the way which will make it easier for you.
Your bath room.....am wishing it was mine. Our big bath developed some sort of clog last evening and it won't be fun as the stool and garden tub are connected together. Dh has a chore today. With 4 in the household now....we really need both bathrooms. Mine is only a half bath in my bedroom.
Linda....got so busy talking about the rads I forgot one of the BIGGEST points which Camille brought up.....they take so little time when you get all the preliminary work done. Just lay down ( it does take a little bit to get you positioned properly ) and for the next 7 or 8 mins you lay there while the rad tx is given....then up and out you go. Obviously feels like a giant waste of time because there generally is no feeling. They just become repetitious and boring -- though quite necessary. Just follow all the advice you are given about lotions to the rads area. Don't be afraid to be generous with that lotion either though likely at first there won't be much change.
Saying hi to everyone and thinking of you.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Our summer getaway is starting earlier than I would like. June 17th we'll head up to Decatur, IL, to dh's sister's house. Her dh invited my dh to play in a men's golf tournament. Plus the 20th is my sister-in-law's birthday. Last year this time we didn't know if she would be alive for this birthday as she was battling amyloidosis, which is similar to cancer. After some heavy duty chemo she is in remission.
We'll be in Decatur through that weekend. Next we'll make our way to Park Rapids, MN, where we summered last year. We reserved the same rv site in a tiny resort that has only about 10 or 12 sites and the other people are not transients. They use their campers as summer cottages for weekends and holidays.
It's hard to believe that the months have gone so fast since we got home last Oct. from our summer getaway.
Today has been a lovely day. I played golf and our threesome won 1st prize, which got us a whopping $6 apiece of pro shop credits. What can you buy with $6? Probably nothing! It takes a number of wins to buy anything. Afterwards I had lunch with my two partners and enjoyed a delicious turkey burger with blue cheese on a ciabatta bun. I ate half and brought home half. I'm trying to drop the lbs I've gained the last week.
This afternoon I have an apptment to get my hair trimmed and colored. The whole works. I'm mulling over the idea (again) of going gray. One of the women golfers went gray this past year and her hair looks nice. When I mentioned to her that my gray seemed to be an ashy color, she remarked that I could brighten up the gray with some highlights. That hadn't occurred to me. A silvery gray would be pretty.
How many of you ladies color your hair?
Camille, how is Joey?
Hope you're all having a great day.
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Thank you for the beautiful post!
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Hi everyone---Donz do I know u--u'r name isn't familiar to me--but then again I have a memory like a loon--they lay theor eggs and forget where they are and feed anyone else's eggs--What stupid trivia I remember.
Oh Carole u'r golf season is really kicking off and all the traveling u'll do--how nice. Now u can give me weather reports from all over. And thaks about asking about Joey--he still has a walking cast on but when u'r 8 it doesn't make much difference in anything.
Jackie I liked the special thought for today, rememer I told u guys the nuns used to say Novenas for me when I was in school cuz I took nothing seriously and they thought I was mental--well it came in handy thruout my life especially the last few years--
Oh Carole I have dyed my hair forever, but since it came back all gray I was getting foiled with a darker color so the gray looks like the white highlites, Now I want to get some purple highlights thrown in and my dgtr refuses to do it and I'm not paying to have it done--the brat
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Good morning, all. I had a busy night last night. 4 or 5 trips to the bathroom. This morning I'm down on the scales. It feels good to lose some of the bloating from unhealthy eating on our trip. Now I'll be able to wear my wedding ring!
My hair stylist gave me a SHORT haircut yesterday. It should be easy with so little hair to blow dry.
I plan to go to the YMCA for the BFIT class today. Then my mother has a hair apptment at 1 pm.
Camille, purple highlights would probably be very dramatic!
Wishing everyone a happy day.
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We can always learn something from everyone that has ever come across our lives. They were there to help reflect the needed knowledge and experiences for us to grow.
…No matter what happens in LIFE, always take the positive and leave everything else behind…and don’t look back!
~ Embellished Minds0 -
OMGosh....you ladies are just too funny. One of these days I'll probably mainly skip the perms and do dye for my hair. I'm told either one gives you body and that is my major problem. After chemo I was soooo hoping for curly mahogany red hair --- what my aunt used to have when she was young. NOPE !!!! You might know -- just my luck -- it was the same thin, fine, no-body slightly darker now mousey brown hair that I had before chemo.
Looked at myself....didn't know it was possible to say YUCK that loud. So, since then.....I have continued to get permanents. My theory....even on the sticky humid days....I have some curl and it won't fall out far enough to make a difference.
I do have some tell-tale gray in back....but I can't see it....therefore, it is not there and I don't concern myself with it.
Long story to say....I'm not liking our early humidity this morning ( going to rain later, I think ) and am wih Camille. It will stay around the 80's......in fact, for at least the next week. I think summer is finally going to settle in and stay.
Going to a wake this evening.....I mentioned it here only because I feel like some of you will know exactly what I'm feeling. Ann was our next door neighbor. She was 97 years old and was ready....so I can't say I truly feel bad about that.....but being from a small town.....this was one of the ladies who raised me. A fixture you might say. Back in my/those days.....adults, almost any of them were to be minded. The adults all had mainly the same ideas so if you were told to do something by them....you did it. They had your welfare just as strongly in mind as your own parents. I'll miss her. Feeling another little bit of my growing up years will be sort of un-touchable now.
Otherwise....expecting to have a good day. Most of my days are great. Even when the problems come I feel fortunate that I am here learning and growing.
I will see all of you much later today.
Wishing you all a beautiful day.
Love and peace
Jackie
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We decided to proceed with chemo for Mom, knowing we can stop at any point if it is too much. The dr. said he will be aggressive with the anti-nausea meds and will give Neulesta from the start. He was not familiar with using Claritin with it (which worried me a little since so many on this site seem to use it to prevent bone pain). He suggested I take her temp 2 times per day to look for any signs of infection. Infection is what I am worried about. But with Neulesta it should be OK, right?
Nausea my mom understands, fatigue will be obvious, she knows "hurt" but hopefully she won't need to communicate it by pointing to something. I go back and forth with feeling OK about the decision and dreading the moments when I will be deciphering if something is wrong or if it's just me freaking out.
She is supposed to start next week. I am also dreading calling her sister to tell her. I know she will be against it and will go on and on about it. Did I post recently that she was against getting the biopsy, then didn't even think we should consider surgery. I know she doesn't think we should put mom through this. As the doctor said, because mom is still improving, we should do it. If she was declining, then we shouldn't. It is hard to thing of another detour from her therapies. Just when we get on track, something new comes up.
It still feels surreal. I pray we have made the correct decision.
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Regbeach, as you said, you can always halt the chemo if the SEs are too severe for your mother. I don't envy you being the one to make decisions for someone else who isn't able to make those decisions for herself. Here's hoping the treatment goes well.
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Reg u have made the right decision and that's that----it's final and as long as u'r taking u'r mom's temp u'll know she doing OK so don't fixate u'rself on OMG what now--if u look right into her eyes they will tell u so much, just follow u'r instinct--u'll know. I understand u'r aunt but that's all right this isn't a TV show where everyone has a vote--the decision has been made. (((HUGS)))
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Regbeach--You have made a tough decision. No one can be totally for sure if something is right, but I appreciate how the Dr. put it......she is not in a decline so promote things that can make her as well as she can get. No crystal balls here and hard to know if your doing right, but it sounds like what I would choose myself.
The claritin....I would probably use it. I had Nuepogen shots....which I gave to myself for 7 days after chemo. I would take a fast acting Tylenol right before I gave myself the shot. I never had bone pain for the shot....but would get a headache right after if I didn't have the Tyelenol. I think the Nuelasta doesn't have to be given but once after each chemo and is a newer drug I think. Some of the gals that had Nuelasta had some pretty harsh bone pain........and I'm not aware of anything that could be taken afterwards -- so it would be a good thing to check on.
You have mentioned her sister and her negative reactions about treatments. I hope she understands that you want your Mom with you as long as you can have her. While the txs could have some problems, surely your Aunt is aware that un-treated cancer is hideous....just my opinion but a bit cruel and in-humane. Things could go quite well.....and your Mother could have a NED ( no evidence of disease ) status afterwards which is what every person that ever had tx hopes to gain.
I'm wishing you and Mom well. You have come a long way.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Happy Friday to all!
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Morning ladies: I've been absent from the site for a week or so....catching up with everything since returning to SC, and getting ready for our big road trip out west to the Nat'l Parks. We're leaving on May 20 and will not return home until June 20....big adventure for us!
Jackie I'm glad your tests went well and the only issue you have is a little weight gain. That will be an easy fix!
Carole...Sounds like you're planning your big summer adventure as well...I wouldn't be brave enough to go grey...I have no idea what my true hair color is these days...lol! My mother had beautiful frosted grey hair...completely natural, but it could be made to look that way with highlights I'm sure. I had a secretary who was prematurely grey and she was beautiful. It's the skin tone that makes the difference...she was fair skinned and blue eyes.
Regbeach: I don't know how old your mother is or what type of BC she has, but I would research carefully before making the final decision. It's a tough decision either way. Has she had the onco type test to determine her percentage of recurrence? That should factor in to the decision. If very low, there may be no need for chemo, but if high, she obviously needs to consider the chemo option. Mine was low so I opted out of everything and worked hard to improve my diet and supplementation program. Almost two years later, I feel ten years younger than before and have loads of energy. My choice wasn't popular with my doctors, but I'm not sorry I went in that direction.
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Kaara, in response to your question
My mom is 73 and had a serious stroke last June. She goes to PT and OT and speech therapy. She was completely active before the stroke and now walks with assistance. Her cancer was triple negative so the onco test was not applicable, and Grade 3, 2.7 cm.
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Kaara busy summer planned ---sounds great--u'll have a wonderful time I'm sure.
Reg I know i give my opinion but please remember I don't know anything really--I don't even know what oncotype is, that's how little I know and yet I give opinions.
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Every morning when we wake up we’ve been given a wonderful
gift—another day of life—so let’s make the most of it. No one
can do it for us. . . . Genuine happiness can only be realized once
we commit to making it a personal priority in our lives. This may be
a new behavior for some of us and a bit intimidating. Be gentle with
yourself. It will all unfold. Like any new behavior, happiness can be learned.
Sarah Ban Breathnach0 -
Good morning. At least I hope it will be good. Camille, sweetie, you know as much as anyone knows. If we had really GOOD information to know this site probably wouldn't even be here. Often we are are just going on instinct -- what feels right. I know a few of my decisions were made because of the bond I felt with some of the people around me.
I had a huge feeling of accord with my Dr. As well, several of the people in her office....very much the Avon Patient Navigator who in fact, 7 yrs. previous had almost my exact diagnosis. There are a variety of ways of getting information together and then we process it hoping to make sense of it all.
It is hard for you Regbeach since your gut feelings and impressions are all working toward the health of your Mom rather than yourself. No one really knows until actually faced with a situation what they would do. My mother was able to easily make all of her own decisions about what care she would receive, but knowing her as much as I did......I knew that she was not one to easily give up. She meant to live every day of her life fully which would mean to me that she would want to take advantage of whatever would aid and abet good health. She did just that. Think what I'm saying here Regbeach is that you likely know how your Mom would feel about issues like these......and all of your 'personal' feelings and knowledge will help you in your quest to help your Mom with her health matters.
You already know you will be criticised by your Aunt --- to whatever degree. None of us ever really know what to do. We can only do the best we can and then try very hard not to what if and look back. As I personally very, very deeply feel that everything happens ( good or bad ) for a reason I always try to hold firm and not regret my choices. You are doing an extremely difficult thing and I wish you all the wisdom and grace there is to not only help but soothe you as time moves along with you.
Blessings and love with be with you.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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Jackie u always have the ery right thing to say --Bless u.
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Hi ladies, got a lot of catching up to do. We got back from a road trip across upper Pa and back rt 17/86 lower Ny state. Stayed at b&bs and country inns. Went to the Desi -Lucy museum in Jamestown ny and the Zippo museum in Bradford Pa. Saw a lot of natural gas drilling and old oil wells in Pa. Did some antiquing too.
I also color my hair, have for years. I was natural Dirty blond, now I'm pretty grey, but it's easier doing the blond now that I have grey roots! Have a friend who tried to convince m to go grey, but i'm not ready yet!
Regbeach, you have to do what feels right for you. Someone will always disagree. I had to put my Mom in a nursing home with dementia at the age of 90. She wud always try to put me on a guilt trip. It's difficult I know.
Well better go get some groceries and some dinner. I'll try and read more later.
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Welcome back, Bonnets. Sounds like you enjoyed your trip.
Kaara, I hope that you and your fella have a great time out west. DH and I visited the national parks on rv trips and each one of them is special.
We have company coming at six for dinner and I have been working all afternoon, cleaning and doing food prep work. I like to plan a meal that doesn't require me to fuss around in the kitchen. I'm sipping a glass of wine now and relaxing.
Wishing everyone a good evening.
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Good Morning all.
Welcome back Bonnets it sounds like a great time--so good to have fun times.
Carole I hope u enjoyed u'r dinner last nite, u sound like a damn good cook.
Joey and I are staying over at my oldest DD's hone tonight and there is a lilac parade tomorrow too. She asked what I had a tast for (she's a great cook too) so I said Mexican and she's making aome kind of bake and chopped salad and whatever.
Joey gave me a present of 10 nail polishes that I love with all cazy colors and a couple of normal one so I'm thrilled.
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The
number of the hours in a day is fixed, but the quantity and quality of energy
available to us is not. It is our most precious resource. The more we take
responsibility for the energy we bring to the world, the more empowered and
productive we become. The more we blame others or external circumstances, the
more negative and compromised our energy is likely to be.
Jim
Loehr and Tony Schwartz0 -
bonnets -- what fun. It is always great to get into the educational aspects of where you are visiting. Don't remember but it was maybe four or so years ago, I finally went to the St. Louis Gateway Arch. Of course, when I left "home" it wasn't there, but was back here about 12 yrs. or more and finally got there....only 70 some odd miles from where I live.
Made up my mind I'd do more things like that --- see the more local sights, but have I. Well, we both still work and finding GOOD times is nearly impossible. I think it will happen, but at least one of us is probably going to have to retire to make any real headway.
So glad it is Saturday and starting out just cloudy enough not to get us over-warm. Dh has his truck back ( there is a God ) and I can once again come and go as I need too. Was only without my car for about a week this time, but being re-stimulated by memories of last year and the nearly 6 months that I struggled along often w/o my car....begging rides to get to work or home. It is just as difficult to be 3 miles away from where you work as 30 or more if you don't have a car. Anyway....so thankful that I don't have to "worry" about it.
I hope you are all going to have a beauty of a day.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Was gonna spray weeds on the walkway and do some weeding, butttt, been drizzliing after I got the vacuuming done, so NOT! Hubby got started on the Big job, mowing. After 10 days he shud bale it! Didn't do much else today but play on the computer.
Bought Chicken soup I Can't believe My Cat Did That ! while I was gone. If you are a cat lover, as I am, and haven't read it, do. It is funny, interesting and true. Gives a lot of smiles. There's one for dog lovers too! Need to finish it so I can pass it on to a friend.
Jackie , glad you have dual transport again.
Enjoy your visit and dinner Carole.
The lilacs on our trip were lovely, haven't heard of a lilac parade, Carmille.
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I have been enjoying the quiet afternoon. Even took a nap! Unheard of for me. The phone jarred me awake. My mother calling to make sure I knew the Preakness horse race was on this afternoon.
Tonight is the third and final performance at the Abita Opry. Looking forward to it.
Camille, tell us about the Lilacs parade. I love Joey's gift to you. A few months ago I took 7 yr. old Nova to Walmart to buy her some nail polish. She quickly picked out three bright colors, one of them blue. She likes her nails painted different colors.
Our spring weather has shifted to summer. It's very hot out. But May has been much nicer than usual with cooler temperatures than the norm.
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Regbeach: I answered your post in a private message...knowing the details, I'm certain you made the right decision. Don't let anyone sway you.
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