Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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bonnets...nice to see a post from you! I stayed on the Arimidex for the entire 5 years but I had some pretty bad joint pain and wished that I would have gotten off it for about 4 to 6 weeks to see if Arimidex was really the culprit. My joint pain has subsided since I'm finally done with the drug so I imagine Arimidex was much of the reason for the pain. I know that some oncs are prescribing it now for 10 years. There is no way I could have continued on it much longer and my onc didn't want me taking it as a precautionary when the 10 year test results are not yet finished. I do know that some traded in Arimidex for Femara and did better. I'd talk to your onc about trying the Femara and see if that helps or laying off the Arimidex for a few weeks to see if the pain really subsides for you.
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Thanks for the input, I just took a Celebrex , as Aleve doesn't really help. Hate to take it too often but......., next visit will sure ask about it.
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Bonnets....I bought some a brand of sheets called Spring Maid ( at least I think that was the whole name ) from Big Lots when the store re-opened here. I think it was a 350 thread count. Not only were they soft, and fit my memory foam well........they had a huge piece of elastic, much larger than other sheets sets I've purchased, and seem to hold on EXTRA well.
The good part...though the price may have been a grand opening price.....they were $20.00. When I saw how nice they were I rushed back and bought another set. I didn't need them, but I would ( if I could ) replace several of my sets that just don't work near as well as the Spring Maids do.
You never know at times if you should buy something or not. That was not a brand I was familiar with, but I needed some extra sheets for my bed...kids started taking the ones I already had that fit well....and so I just took a chance. Most of the time these last few years.....you can easily run into some real disappointment but I figured I'd rather be irritated over wasting $20.00....than $70.00 or $80.00. With those sheets I felt like I won the lottery.
I've done fairly well on Arimidex....nothing going on that I haven't learned to easily tolerate. Don't know how I'd feel about an extension of my 5 yrs. though which will be up in November. Just have to see how the Oncologist is looking at it. I'm torn before this discussion though as I could actually keep taking it if it were based just on whether I was having any se's issues. I'd just like to be able to not take as much medication as I do............guess I'd think about basing it party on percentages.
Hope you might be able to think about trying the Femara.....sometimes it does make a big difference.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Don't go to Big Lots often, but I'll check it out. I recognize Spring Maid name, though Ive never had them.
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Joan I feel fof u, I don't know what I'd do, and then to find some trouble--but it could be all the tension from such a big move too.
Carole u'rll be home soon , good--but the weather in IL is so hot now, u can't enjoy much outside-I'm sure u'r DH will be happy to be home more than u will.
Jackie that's a great price for 350TC--they are usually so much more. It's a good count too. Worth a try.
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Spring Maid is an old brand. I remember it from my childhood. Mom bought them and they were good sturdy sheets. I may go to Big Lots to see if the one here has them.
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Hi all, I just wrote a heartfelt response to your kind words of wisdom and concern for my DD's dischordant home...and it suddenly disappeared - even the web page was gone.
I don't have it in me to write it again...
Just thanks for thinking of me...
Chevy, you really described the universal problem...it just hurts and I don't like change much.
Jackie, you reminded me to reach within to find peace and sensibility.
I knew when my 3 DDs married within a short time that those were special years and that things always change.
Bonnets, you bring the perspective that I have...can't say anything but can't sit back when DD lashes out in front of kids and other family members.
Cammi, I don't know what I'll do...just pray and keep providing my grandaughters with showers of love and support and fun.
Having grown up in an unhappy home with daily criticism and alcohol involvement by my Dad, I thought my home would be different. It was for the first 5 years...then when I had baby #2, DH changed. He was hard on all of us. He has mellowed now, but I spent many years of my life wanting to be on my own.
Well, at least I have some busy-ness now with my classes, and sort of a routine.
Hugs & love to everyone for always being here.
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Joan, we're right with you. I think so many of us know exactly what you are feeling, and talking about. I ALSO hate when I hear about DD lashing out at the boys, for whatEVER reason! Guess it makes them tougher, but also resentful.
Soon, though, your Granddaughters will be old enough to separate that crappy/unhappy Mom, to the one they love. They will start to put more distance between them and her... And they WILL build their own lives! My oldest GS has his girl-friend and their own home, and they love to go visit Mom & Dad, and things ARE better with them all, because "Mom" doesn't get riled-up as easy trying to boss everyone around. And GS accepts that sometimes Mom is a bitch, and sometimes she is an Angel....
That's all I care about.... that they are ALL happy. I think our SIL just lives there.... getting by as best he can. It's sad, because I would TALK to him, if he wanted to, but if she found out, the sky would open up, and all hell would break loose.
So Joan, the only thing you can do, is what you said.... Always be there for the girls, and you can be the one happy and stable thing in their lives! You can't change anything....
No matter how much talking and understanding you do with your Daughter, will sometimes just bring resentment back.
You KNOW she loves those kids, but she sounds like she is in turmoil now... The kids also know that she DOES love them... they've probably learned to just let a lot of her "moods" bounce off of them... Just BE there for them.
Yep, when I look back, I'm like you! I was also a little girl in that same home with those same kind of Parents. Dad drinking, and Mom forEVER fighting with him! And me and my Brother just trying to be little kids..... You know what? To this day I cannot remember hardly anything of my childhood. None of my shool years... Not one thing about those 12 years of school! I remember the really BAD things, but everything in between is just not there. I had a severe brain-concussion when I was 13, (I think)... So that probably didn't help!
But I DO have good memories of getting married, my girls, and even of my Parents! They moved out of state when I became engaged.... and that's probably the best thing that ever happened. So being away from them, and just having my OWN little family, and doing everything DIFFERENT is probably why I am where I am now...
I DID learn to love them, when I didn't have to be around them.So we are all thinking about you.... and we're here for you!
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A garden that never died eventually would weary.
Robbed of springtime, unacquainted with the
extraordinary perfume that rises from the soil after it’s
had its rest, the garden that winter doesn’t visit is a
dull place. The return every spring of earth’s first
freshness would never be kept if not for the frosts
and rot and ripe deaths of fall. So when I go out
from the garden for the last time in autumn,
I leave the gate open behind me.
Michael Pollan0 -
Some beautiful posts showing up here. Life is just one challenge after the other --- I do take heart for those who can share -- here or where-ever. I do think when you are doing things to remove as much as you can from yourself, that hopefully and eventually you will get a different perspective going. Of course, it may take time to be totally comfortable with the perspective, but being able to really SAY how it is with you I see as a great start.
These are the times when I wonder if I am too stoic......or just think maybe I don't even recognize some of my issues......and it just might be a little of each.
Anyway.....I so do enjoy getting different "takes" on the same issue. Helps me sort out things so much better. Sometimes a focus gets so narrow. I think maybe that is where that old adage -- not being able to see the forest for the trees -- much have come from.
Hoping you all have a good day.
Almost forgot...Wren, so glad to hear you had knowledge of the sheets. I did not know it was an old brand. I sure like the ones I have though. I was in Big Lots yesterdday....and they had a set, but I didn't get them. They were olive green and I just don't really do that color too well. They are great to sleep on and with that wide elastic helping to hold them more securely on top my memory foam -- I am one happy camper.
Peace and love
Jackie
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Jackie, I would leave the olive green in the store as well. I certainly don't want to have a color that washes me out on the bed.
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Okay, sheets! I could have "spotted" ones....Ha! To match the rashes and hives I usually have SOMEwhere!
You know I bought a pair of satin sheets one time.... Still have them, and you can turn over really easy, but you cannot keep a hold of the TOP shet! You could squirt right out of that bed! They are gorgeous, but slicker than snot. And COLD, unless you want them for the Summer! I like to get into some sort of warm bed, no matter what season it is. Jackie, I LOVE your garden saying! How beautiful! I still have a few wasps on that hanging bell chime in my back garden! I won't move them, because they won't live during winter, and I'm thinkin' they MUST have a purpose.... I mean other than chasing me away when I get too close! They also pollinate my tomato plants...
How's it going Joan?
And how is your Husband Carole? Talk to y'all later.
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Weather in west Texas has been pretty nice, we have had some rain again and temps in the mountains are in the 70's and low 80's. I have two Praying Mantis in the house this morning. Since this drought we had not seen any of them. Saw a taranchela on the road today. Came home and had a donkey in the yard.
Went and got my hair cut again as short as possible. It helps the sweat evaporate when I have those debilitating hot flashes. Seem to have 1 to 3 a day. I just read an article about hot flashes and tamoxifen and they feel that women on tamoxifen who have the hot flashes have a lower rate of the return of breast cancer.
Will keep on keep on
Everyone take care.
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mommarch....fascinating about the mantis's in your house. I live in Illinois of course, and a couple of days ago when I went to work there was one on the lanai screen.....was still there 4 & 1/2 hours later when I left. He had moved a little which made me happy. At first he or she, was very near the door latch....a bit nerve-wracking. I do know they are ok....but didn't would not really like one on me.
As to the tarantula , we saw one in California. My mom told me that they only come up above ground every 7 yrs. to mate. Wow !!! after 7 yrs. do they still know how is what I was thinking. They are interesting to watch.....the one I saw was happy to go on its way....very, very non-threatening.
Hope what you heard about the Tamoxifen is correct.
Peace and love
Jackie
(((((((Carole ))))))))
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I have them for a short period of time then poof they are gone. Have had up to 6 big uns on back porch under porch light night b4 last. Last night only 3. I usually have one that stays the day up on the patio roof but did have one cling to the underside of metal goat grooming table all day. I know they are good but they scare the you-know-what out of me. Those suckers are great flyers. I found one in the house on a fan. I finally persuaded him to get on flyswatter and carried him outside. I love to watch their heads swivel so long as they are safely outside.
DH told me he watched big rat snake crawl off driveway into backyard behind my shed the other day. Hope he moved on out or at least stays put behind the shed. I had a serious encounter last year with either a king snake or coral snake. Too freakin' scared to count bands or recite ditty about color of bands. He side winded out of a crepe myrtle bush at twilight. To this day I will not walk by that bush except in daylight.
Mommarch - our weather has been much more tolerable this week and for a bit yesterday felt like a hint of fall even though wind out of south. Only lower 90s. I think we may get some moisture moving in from system forming in Caribbean next week. We desperately need the rain and I'm sure you wouldn't turn it down either.
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Hi Ladies, Haven't been on much; still no internet @ my Mom's, so I have to "steal" someone's wifi when I can. Joan, I know how you feel w/ your daughter moving away. My older son has moved 3x in the last two years & like I might have mentioned before, he is finally teaching Italian in CT. Carole, sorry to hear about your husband's health issues. It will be good for you both to be home & in familiar surroundings.
I have gone back to work part time & am feeling the fatigue. I'm sure my living situation isn't helping. I wish some one (like a fairy godmother) could give me a itemized list of what I should do 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. I still can't believe that he did this to me; just threw me out like a piece of garbage after 11 yrs. I can't sleep @ night cause I have too much on my mind.
Hope everyone is doing okay,
Linda
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Linda he didn't throw u out, he opened up a new door for you and right now it all mixed up on this side but it will settle down and u wil find what u'r looking for whether it's with someone or without there is happiness in you. I never thought I could be happy alone, but I'm absolutely fine I found my own happiness so don't be to hard on u'r self. I'm sure the job is exhausting it's something u haven't done for a whie. I hope u get used to it and like it.
Carole I hope all things are going well for u.
Jackie again good quote, I guess some people said good things beside me.
Chevy and Joan whenever I read about u'r childhoods I feel so sad. Everyone should have a happy childhood and yet that doesn't happen I know. Unfortunately no one can pick and choose or undo what has happened but u 2 have come a long way from where it started and that's a good thing emotionally, I have nothing wise to say but I can empathize with u.
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Thinking about childhood.....yes, they all should be happy, but I think some times our parents may have been struggling in ways we didn't always see.....and sometimes making mistakes. They may not even have felt competent......not letting everyone off the hook here, but just judging by some of the things that took place when i became a parent.....many things easily zoomed out of my control almost before I was realizing it. I still kick myself for some things though for the most part my ( now adult ) children don't seem to see it in a bad light. So, I do think there may be times when our parents may not realize some of the damages that are taking place.....so un-happy or incompetent....they don't even see the issues we have.
Just thinking out loud a bit.
See you all tomorrow.
Peace and love
Jackie
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I had bad feelings about my grandparents (who raised me) for a long time. Then they discussed their childhoods and early marriage. I realized that having food on the table and clothes on my back were a big improvement over the way they were raised. I was able to cut them some slack after that. They did their best to provide me with things they never had.
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Hi Ladies,
Catching up with all your posts. Carol, So happy things appear to be OK.
Linda, as I PM'd you before, my heart goes out to you. I think it was Jackie who suggested journaling. It works- when you wake up in the middle of night. Write whatever is on your mind down, eventually you will feel calm enough to go back to sleep and as an added bonus when you are sleeping your subconscious will be processing all that you wrote down. That helps our minds generate those enlightened moments when all of a sudden something becomes clear.
We made it to the US Open (tennis) in NY. Had a great time except for an overheated car and expensive (it was NYC) parts to repair it. Then, went to house in CT for a few days. I am back with Mom now, and missing being in my own house with my boyfriend even though things are still a mess between us.
Things seem to have gone well with the aide but found out today Mom has another UTI (or the same one from the antibiotic that she finished on Saturday). She also had one in late July. We are praying it resolves with this new antibiotic and that it is nothing more. Before Mom's stroke, she went through a few bouts of UTIs, that turned out to be kidney stone, which led to stopping her blood thinner for a few days to have the stone removed....but, instead she had a stroke.
Someone told me that my mom's journey would not be "straight." That's an understatement. A few weeks ago her phy. therapist noticed her BP was low (in the 80s/over 50s). Very unusual for her. I started measuring it again after that and it has been consistently lower than her normal. Last night, when I was walking her, I noticed she was sweating, and she sighed "whew" like she was hot. Her BP was high from walking and her pulse was low- 42. Obviously, I have contacted her neuro and cardio. and now her primary care dr. is up to speed due to the UTI. Bottom line- could be the new seizure med since these numbers started appearing right when she got to therapeutic dose of it, but since she is doing well on it (other than possibly BP) and has had trouble with so many others, neuro doesn't think we should change it. (I had a long talk with dr. today. I was worried that if she has a seizure then we can't increase med. if it is affecting BP and it takes so long it get off one and onto another, we could never do it quickly if needed.) Cardio at first said he couldn't adjust BP/HR meds but after last night's episode, mom will wear Holter monitor over the weekend to see if meds need to be adjusted. Praying no incidents in the meantime.
Stay well everyone!
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Thank you friends for understanding and surrounding me with empathy and warm hugs...I feel 'em. Linda, I am sorry that you have had to go through so much this year...I hope as Jackie said some doors open for you.
Cammi, when my dad passed I didn't feel much...and I remember searching for the good and I found it.
Jackie, you are so right that as young ones we do not see what our parents are going through. Mine were separated during war and I know things weren't great...but they worked hard and made a home for us and I knew i was loved. I ended up living with them after we got married while we saved money to send DH back to college. I was so silly happy I didn't mind anything that was going on. ha ha - great memory for me.Wren you shared some wisdom here too...
Mommarch, I remember my friend telling me that on a visit to New Mexico she went out on the desert at night and there were tarantulas everywhere. It must have been the 7 year romp. :-)
Reg Beach glad you got your time away...I love the US Open...was too tired to go this year. I am a tennis fan and my guy won...sorry to hear that your mom is still struggling to regain strength and well being. Hugs and prayers...
Gotta get up in 5 hours...shorter day tomorrow...subbing at 8 AM for a colleague and working my regular day. I need to get more sleep...then I can face the day better!
Life is good...and my dear sisters you have helped me know I am not alone and this tough time will pass.
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Michael, I can relate to your poem. I have lived in North Florida for 12 years, and came from South Florida, born and raised. It is very different up here. We get very cold, with freezes and frost, and everything dies back. Back home in S Florida, it is basically the same year round, which can be a little boring. But, I do miss my tropicals
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Hi Rachael I don't think I know u so i'm saying welcome not happy too after all this isn't a fancy ckub, but mostly women just trying to get by day to day, and of course since we're a little older think we know moew LOL
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Camillegal, thanks for the welcome.
I will be coming here for support and to report my habits and hopefully, weight loss very soon. I have not started yet, as I have the awful flu right now, and do not feel like walking or eating right.
But very soon
Rachel
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Rachel join in whenever u want and i hope u;r feeling much better soon.
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Morning gals! Hi Rachel! Yes, like Cammi says...! Don't feel bewildered if Cammi seems to get her spelling in a flurry.... We LOVE her that way. She and I tease each other about EVERYthing, so just jump right in, and we'll probably tease you too!Besides, I just got OVER some bug...I think the flu! You must have caught it from me...
If you take enough Pepto and GasX, and drink chocolate cokes, it will go away. Those stomach cramps were the worst!
Yes Cammi, so we are "older"??? You THINK? Well at least I am! So Hah! That only makes us better.Really cool out here, and still raining! I built an Ark. The other Day. Be prepared. I have to move the hanging bell wasp house...THIS move will confuse them even more...... (long story)Yes Linda.... ! When I can't sleep, or wake up and my mind is just all over the place, I just get up, sit on the bed, turn on TV, have a little snack, and it's usually long enough to get your brain settled down, and finally you can lay back down and go back to sleep. Just have to interrupt that thought process.Regbeach, you deserve some good news! This will also work itself out, maybe without driving you crazy.... I hope so anyway.Wren and Jackie.... Yes, it's funny that when you are little you are just living day to day, and trying to not get in the road... Yes, our Parents had issues, but it is just devastating to little kids, who don't understand anyway, and it's like they are caught in this ever lurking thunder-storm! It isn't until we are older, and CAN look back, and think "What the hell were they THINKing?"But we are older now, and can thankfully look back and see their good points... Or maybe just start all over with your feelings AND them, and find something in them you love! It happened with me and my Dad.... AND my Grandma... I was left with them "alone".... Mom died, so Dad only had me... And we both learned to care about each other... I always WANTED to, but his drinking was like a wall to me! But losing Mom changed him into a dependent sorrowful man, and I was there for him to hold on to, and we became best buds! It was like I was taking care of HIM! Loving him was all I ever wanted... And he found me, after all those years.My Grandma... was so cantankerous... NO-one wanted to be around her! So it was just me who had to DO it... Wasn't easy at first! But then the same thing happened! Having to move her from her home, after her heart-attack, set her up in assisted living, take her little dog to live with me, and then watch her slowly lose her memories... Even her simple day to day things to do became hard! I ran down the alley every day to see her, dress her, and give her showers! I was the only one she knew... She forgot she had a Daughter, and she even forgot my Dad... but she had me and my Grand-sons.I made her a scrap-book, from all her pictures and of our family, but she didn't know them... So it was just me and her. One time they had a piano player for entertainment! And I took her to the "big room"... He was playing the "Tennessee Waltz" and I took Grandma's hand and said "Let's dance".... So we did.... tears running down my face.... And all those feelings I grew up with were........ gone.So Regbeach.... I understand.Linda.... YOU have to make a list. And keep changing it, and crossing things off. Like Cammi said, just because he made you hit the bricks, that just means that part of your life is done with. And now you have to open lots of doors to see where you want to go!It always takes time..... just wing it on your own....Geez Littlegoats! You guys in Florida and Texas, really have the critters! And I'm in a quandary because of a few Wasps! But it's fun reading about your adventures...ha!Mommarch... I'm older than you, and I never had hot-flashes ...ever! But when I took Tamoxifen, I would get "warm-waves".... But that was only a small problem...How old are you? I'm 76.... I think..My youngest Daughter is 52, and she is having TERRIBLE hot flashes! I bought her little fans... One is a little giraffe! But if she uses it too close to her hair, it tangles it up in a flash! But she loves the little fans for "those moments."
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The trick to growing through adversity is not "becoming a victim" by looking for reasons "why," but by looking for the benefits in the situation. ~ David Boufford
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Working early today so I'll be back later, but such good posts here that there isn't much to say. Even though it is hard to see our benefits when we are going through things....life does happen. You just have to be willing to show up. Hopefully after a bit of a grieving for what you feel you have lost.....you will be able to start looking for the sun....and the good things that you had....before, during and after.....and especially after.
Peace and love
Jackie
and I almost forgot a HUGE BIG,Hearty Welcome to you Rachel and I hope you will come often. We are good at hand-holding and helping with perspectives and just wanting to help each other get through it....whatever IT may be. So come on it, prop up your feet, let your fingers do the walking and talking......we care.
Jackie
p.s. Can't tell you how much I love ( though it happens so seldom, to hit that spell checker button and it tells me no mistakes.
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Good Morning,
Chevy, I am 64. Like your daughter I had awfull hot flashes during menopause.
This morning we had a wild donkey in the yard, he was a large white one with a black stripe. He was braying, it is so neat to hear.
Have alot to get done today, tomorrow I need to go to the broom shop and help DH
clean out the back room.
Have a good day
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Mommarch do u live on the frontier? I haven't heard of a broom shop in forever. And I love the donkey, is he yours or just roamin along? That's so cute. 64 u'r still younger than Chevy--and me.
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