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Comments

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816
    edited December 2013

    Carole, thanks for your sailboat story.  What an interesting life you lead and have led.  I really enjoyed reading about it.  Your dinner sounds wonderful.  

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Sandra u'r evening out sounds wonderful and the quilt amazing--how thoughtful and caring

    Kaara u'r always a busy Bee--u have great stamina--keep up the good work.

    Jackie u are such a beautiful person, I think u've inspired more people than u'll ever know--so caring and loving. U'r just so sweet

    Carole I love u free spirited life u've lead--how exciting to meet u'r DH and love the same things and still do. Thank u for the sharing it was so enjoyable.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Oh I didn't mean to overlook anyone--I was distracted with my Katie-Kat, she loves attention a lot so she crawls all over me.

    Marcia I hope u come back a lot cuz now u'r one of us--so face it--u'r older.

    And who got the light? That was cute how it was done too.Isn't it funny how something, anything can make us happy.???

    I've got my true crime stories on, I'm sick if not scary movies, it's real life killing--My interest are macabre (sp)

    Here comes Joey Now. LOL 

  • mommarch
    mommarch Member Posts: 534
    edited December 2013

    Carole, my only sailing experience was not the best.  We went out with some friends and the boat got away from the only person who knew how to sail.  We finally got it back so we could get him on board.

    Wind still blowing.  It makes my little dog nervous.

    My Great Nephew may get to come home around the 31st.  He has learned how to get in and out of a car without putting weight on his limbs.  I feel so much for my Niece as she has had to learn how to manage a mental challanged son and now this on top of it all.  She is a very strong person.  

    Hope to get to church tomorrow.

    NIte

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,980
    edited December 2013

    It's warm here on eastern Long Island but I see the forecast for a 30 degree temperature drop within 2 days.
    I came on to check in but got so drawn into your wonderful conversations filled with vivid pictures, memories and plans...
    Jackie, I think your talent lies in being a good listener.  You hear and see things in our words that are easily overlooked.  Thank you for helping me remember the most vivid memories - I will not forget mom's cookies put away in clean shirt boxes (the hard side kind, not the fold up ones) with waxed paper between the layers.  Oh, the promise of those crisp buttery sugar cookies....and I do remember walking in snow at night when cars couldn't pass...and being totally present.  I lived in suburbia but it was silent.

    Sandy, I hope you continue to grow strong...so glad the line is out!  Progress....
    Kaara, my heart goes out to your family in experiencing the loss of hope in this little baby who left too soon.  Every loss is personal; so difficult for all.  My son died at 4 days and it changed me forever.  Yes, well-meaning people said things I was not ready to hear...I managed to focus on my 3 daughters and actively work through the grief.  It is a lonely process.
    It sounds like the celebration will be wonderful.

    Carole, I truly enjoyed your autobiographical tour of the past!  Who else but the two of you could have accomplished so much?  Your trip to down under sounds amazing.  An "arm" of my ancestors moved from Newfoundland to New Zealand to start a lumber company.  I am sure their descendant are still there.  What will you do there?

    Chevy, bless you for loving those chickens...somebody has to!  But they sound like good hardy Coloradans.  (Cammi, I know you love them too--can't have lasagna without eggs!)
    I hope you are healing from your surprise fall (always a surprise, right?  We don't plan such antics)

    Mommarch, I believe you will follow your hearts and make the right decision as to whether you should stay at home. 

    Each Christmastime is a milestone for me...and each New Year is my hope - that I can make my time count. 
    Jackie, you are so right about letting things go.  If we are meant to have that thing or that person in our lives, it will be.
    I have had hurts at work and I was just compelled to do some nice things for someone who has overlooked me.  I don't care about uneven scores....I care about doing what I knew is the right thing.

    To those who have had a difficult time in 2013, I pray that you will make room in your hearts for new hope and goodness in the year to come.

    Back to grading papers....final grades are due....reality check!

    Joan

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,704
    edited December 2013

    I have used this one before, and picked it out before I read Joan's great entry.  I consider this an oldie, but as well supreme for the HUGE statement it makes:

    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

    Leo Buscaglia

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,704
    edited December 2013

    Just reading all the entries last couple of pages....and this one and I'm "moved" a great deal by the love and understanding that has been flowing.  There is a quote and while I was not able to find it just now....I did run across something similar....I hope it prints here:

    To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.
    Eckhart Tolle

    We get bombarded with so much all the time, that it becomes very easy to get lost in the communication process and while the word communication would make a lot of people think of expressing oneself......it is also being able to just get along in what has become our electronic world.  Put another way....we get along well in the world as we learn not to be timid about something --- like  a pressure cooker or a fancy mixer.  We become communicators  with things as we learn how to handle them with some confidence.  We begin to speak THEIR language. 

    So just wanted to mention.....the communication here, with each other has been a great delight.  Also, wanted you each to know how much I look forward to reading each of your descriptive feelings and understandings of things.  It teaches me that we each a unique outlook  about something.  I think none of you would realize ( and I've had this feeling at some time or other about each and every one of you ) how often I've read something posted and thought.....how perfect a description that is and I wished I would have seen it that way and been able to describe it, in just those terms.

    It all just sort of boils down to, YOU are the perfect YOU.  No one else can do this and so it is a true perfection.  It is the spark of the divine.  I have to be happy with my perfection -- even if I feel someone has captured an idea in much stronger light than I did.....and hope that I've gained much by being allowed the privilege of reading and understanding what is said. 

    What a great Sunday this is going to be. 

    Peace and love

    Jackie 

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,922
    edited December 2013

    I interviewed a former addict for a class I was taking. He said the hardest part of being a street begger was that no one looked at his face. One day he was sitting with his head down and a little boy got down to his level and asked about his day. He burst into tears. So it's true about the kind look or smile.

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816
    edited December 2013

    Joan, I hope that your paper grading goes quickly and that the students have written interesting answers.

    Wren44, your story reminds me that children can show adults how to touch hearts.

    Jackie, I was timid today when communicating with my mother and I ended up in tears.  After some prayer and rereading your post, I know how to fix my issues in a calm, caring way.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited December 2013

    Jackie...... (((((((( I love you )))))....

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Jackie I can never say this enough--u have captured the best in this world and put aside the worst and that is a blessing that u have given to yourself.

    Joan a beautiful post, I think too this time of year bring so much to the surface of our feelings for our memories, and I know I was so lucky to have such wonderful memories of my family and living so close, all within 1-2 blocks of each other-

  • mommarch
    mommarch Member Posts: 534
    edited December 2013

    It has been kind of a rough day here.  We went to Church and DH broke down and had to leave before the last song.  It is Christmas and he thinks about our son we lost 30 years ago and our son we lost 2 years ago.  And now our DD with another cancer.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.  I broke down too but managed to stay till the end.  I left without conversing with anyone not even the pastor.  This too shall pass.

    Hope all have had a good day.

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816
    edited December 2013

    mommarch, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  (((Hugs)))

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,922
    edited December 2013

    Mommarch, Hugs for you both. We're not supposed to outlive our children. And anniversaries are so difficult. Wishing peace for you both.

  • sandra4611
    sandra4611 Member Posts: 1,750
    edited December 2013

    Oh Mommarch. My heart breaks for you and your husband. You've had so many terrible things happen. I imagine this time of year is the hardest for you both.

  • GrammyR
    GrammyR Member Posts: 297
    edited December 2013

    mommarch- So sorry , there are so many reminders during the holidays of who is missing from our lives now. I still miss my parents and the little farm I grew up on. Your family will always be in your hearts. As a Stage IV and not sure how long time wise I may have it seems to me that I feel the need to do things now while still able to care for myself. I went to church last week for "annointing of the sick" I cried half the time but felt so much better when I got home having done that. So busy w/holidays prep. we must  still make time to be right w/God . The one blessing I feel is that I will get to meet w/my parents in spirit in the after life. Many po-po this type of thinking but for me it has given me solace and comfort. Please still go to church and if you feel the temptation to shed tears that's OK too, it means you are earing the words of your pastor and now the have extra meaning..










  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,980
    edited December 2013

    (((Mommarch)))......sometimes the holidays are difficult...you seem to find beauty in the simple things in life.  That in itself is a blessing. Prayers for you, DH and DD.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited December 2013

    Mommarch, I'm sorry..... If I could hug you both I would.... If I would have been there, and saw your DH leave the Church, I probably would have walked out after him, and hugged him right there...  Sometimes it's all just too much.... You guys have gone through so much, it would break the backs of most people.

    Time helps our healing, but it is still always in our hearts....the memories.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,704
    edited December 2013

    What you put out comes back.
    The more you sincerely appreciate
    life from the heart, the more the
    magnetic energy of appreciation
    attracts fulfilling life experiences
    to you, both personally and
    professionally.  Learning how to
    appreciate more consistently
    offers many benefits and
    applications.  Appreciation is an
    easy heart frequency to activate
    and it can help shift your
    perspectives quickly.  Learning how
    to appreciate both pleasant and even
    seemingly unpleasant experiences is
    a key to increased fulfillment.

    Doc Childre and Sara Paddision

  • mommarch
    mommarch Member Posts: 534
    edited December 2013

    Thanks everyone for your words of comfort.  It is 17 degrees here this morning.  I need to get in gear, have to go to Alpine and run errands.  Get what we need before the stores close tomorrow evening.

    I think DH and I will drive the scenic loop on Christmas Day, we have not done that in along time, it is 70 miles around and beautiful. Going to roast a chicken, fresh green beans, stuffing, cranberry relish, and pumpkin pie.  I will make King Ranch Chicken out of the leftover chicken.

    Hugs

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,704
    edited December 2013

    mommarch, this is for you:

    When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.  When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

    Khalil Gibran


    I feel for you that this is the time of year ( a time of joy ) when you end up having to face again your memories of loss of your loved ones.  I often think ( and I know we all heard this many, many times over the years ) of how people talk about closure and healing.....but I really never saw this as something that could complete.  Of course, thankfully, we do learn to move on, and though it would be wonderful to heal in a more complete fashion......I think that would be like negating someone....as though they had never been. 

    There are many ( a lot of friends and family ) who are able to complete their soul's perfection here early -- perhaps only needing some brief lessons.  They transition back to their Creator and do not have to experience so much of the harsh reality that envelops those left behind.  We get the dichotomy that 'Gibran' speaks about so eloquently.  Your cry for what you lost, but what makes you so sad now always produced GREAT happiness.  You are caught in-between. 

    There is a quote that says something to the effect that time heals all wounds, and no doubt it helps a great deal, but if we didn't remember our most beautiful gifts, who would we be?  I think we just learn to cope.  We too have a journey to complete and we have to learn to suffer great loss for some reason.  Our responses to what occurs to us -- is really something we need to know.  The big question is why ??  I'm really not sure but do feel everything we are able to 'accept and conquer' here will help us glorify our souls to the point of being very able to help others ( after we too are gone )  walk with the same loneliness and heartache for their loved ones as we have felt for ours. 

    So hard to accept but loss is freedom for the loved one who is gone, and misery for those left behind.  It is hard to find any joy, but I am glad you and your Dh have each other to cling to during  the hard times.  I find comfort in the fact that you can grieve as you need too.....what feels right to you and for you.  The highest tribute to your missing loved ones is that they are still important, cherished and remembered.  I still talk to those I miss.  I don't think of them as gone.  They are just not available like they once were, but still nearby and helping me on my journey home.  I/we will always miss those who go ahead and for whom we must give up the ability to interact with on a physical basis, but they are really just a thought and a breath away. 

    Peace and love, most especially now,

    Jackie

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,704
    edited December 2013

    Got very cold overnight here, but thankfully, no rain on the road.....had plenty of dry time.  Brrr, is al I can think right now though.  We are cold up to X-mas Day when we have some slight warming.    Just being a strange year,  but not necessarily un-expected.  Most of the last few years have been close to the opposite of what it seemed like they should be.  So, I'm just rolling along with it.....it is going to be what it is and could be anything.  Just hope I can keep my flexibility because that is what helps me deal with the parts I don't like as well.

    Few things to get at the store so I can make some "good" stuff......the kinds I'll have to try and not eat too much.  Well, that is ok......I'm going to have to figure out some extra exercises for doing inside while the not so great weather hangs around outside. 

    Hope it is a great Monday for all.  Today or tomorrow....we will take a little drive through town and see how many Christmas lights are out.  Some here get pretty elaborate and some.....are just right.  Its interesting to see how each neighbor responds......to what their neighbor is doing.  I think they have  little contests with each other.

    Peace and love

    Jackie

  • sandra4611
    sandra4611 Member Posts: 1,750
    edited December 2013

    We visited a new church yesterday. It's a 141 year old small country church with creaky wooden pews and stained glass windows. The people we so nice and friendly. There was much to like, but too contemporary for me. I hated the media screen. Doesn't anyone use hymnals anymore? One person in the choir was on her cell phone after the service started! My husband liked it, but then he's much more easy going than I am these days. We've managed to reverse roles in over 43 years of marriage. LOL. We may give it one more try, but it will be for his benefit. I'd just as soon keep looking. I was raised Catholic (he wasn't) so I like a more contemplative and reverent environment. No laughing and loud talking in the sanctuary before the service starts (it's not a bar!) I shouldn't even post this because it strays into the no-no area of religion. But it's really about quality of life. I just don't want to waste the time I have left doing things that I really don't want to do.

  • Kaara
    Kaara Member Posts: 2,101
    edited December 2013

    Party was a huge success even though the Dolphins lost:(  Surprisingly the hit of the gift exchange was a set of cup towels.  Headless doll returned for the fourth go round.  The ugly chicken went to my DGD who will put it in her garden to scare off birds...lol!  I felt bad that DS #3 was on call for his job and had to leave just before dinner.  I packed him a "to go" box.  Little DGD's were adorable with their joint gift from Santa..a dollhouse...and they played and shared very well for the first time.  

    Carole...love your sailboat stories....don't know if I could live on the water full time, but it sure sounds like an adventure.

    Today I went to my eye doc and of course received the dreaded injection after a four month reprieve!  He was quite upset that my doctor in NC didn't continue my shots, so guess I'll be getting them regularly again.  Not a happy camper:(  The good news is there is no change in my eyesight.

    I know everyone is getting ready for the upcoming two big days....mine is over except for maybe a dinner out on Christmas night with DD, my older DGD's and BF.  We're still trying to decide if we want to go or just stay home and have a quiet dinner together.

    Wish you all a Merry Christmas! 

  • rabbitvelvet
    rabbitvelvet Member Posts: 38
    edited December 2013

    It's rainy here in Oregon (rather redundant I must admit)!  My 14 pound black cat Rocky is keeping me company while I type.  Occasionally I'll reach over and rub his satiny coat and say my quiet thanks for 1 of the simple joys of life.  Living by myself I am constantly reminded of the value of connection.  Perhaps it is reading all your posts, a phone call from a friend, or a hug from my child or grandchild. 

     I agree with you Sandra on your search for a traditional church.  I'm old enough to remember when 'follow the bouncing ball' was the instruction to sing along to the tunes on the Mitch Miller TV show............not in a church!!  Now it seems that for a church to survive, to attract a tithing congregation - they must "put on a show" ala the old Andy Hardy Movies.  I understand, however, that the more modern churches serve a purpose in inviting in the lost and disenfranchised. What I need to do is use the modernity available and search the web for something traditional that I could drive to....  Good, now I have two goals; chemotherapy and Church in the New Year!

                               May you all have a comforting Christmas    

     

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Mommarch I have no idea how sad u and u'r DH must feel. But I do know I m sorry for the 2 of u hving this to go thru now or any time. Having each other must be the best feeling tho and I'm glad u do.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Ladies I know what u mean and feel about the right church. Some seem like it's so into showmanship and I know that it is a draw for so many people and that is good, but maybe as we get older we think more traditionaly about what being in church means to us. Geeze I still like Latin, but some things have to change I guess. Right when I learned the Latin church it changed and I thought what a trick this is, (Catholic) I don't need to be in a Catholic church now it's just nice to be with one and the feeling of God and peace in my heart. Wherever that might be. --A disclaimer ----this is not a service reminder for being Catholic or an advertisement for any religion.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited December 2013

    Cammi, you are so cute!  I love this..... This video that opened the service in this Church I found..... 

    One time I was at rock-bottom....  I had reached  a dead-end, and didn't care if I even lived another day....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCeeZ_hdrBM

    But somehow, I found the way back, with the help of my gal-friends, my girls, and believing.... Believing that someone cared.  

    This was over 12 years ago....  and I made it.    I don't go to church now, but I consider myself very  spiritual....  Like Jackie...  I find God in everything I do... And I thank him for all that I have.  

    Doesn't matter if you are Catholic, or Nazarene, or even atheist, or any other religion...  I'm sure you must believe in a higher power....  

  • Mgster
    Mgster Member Posts: 80
    edited December 2013

    Mommarch...you have been through more than most and yet I sense you are such a strong woman.  God bless you and add me to the list of people that would give you a hug if I only could.  You are now added to my prayers.   The drive and dinner you have planned sound exactly what your husband needs.  

    Sometimes I can't believe how fortunate I am to have found this place!  Do only amazing, friendly, funny, caring women get breast cancer?  

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited December 2013

    Oh Mgster yes we are the chosen few. LOL

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