Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Mommarch, in my thoughts as well.
Went to see my PCP yesterday for my annual. They took my BP with the stupid machine which squeezes so hard I was in pain. It read 189/78. I told her that was just wrong. Once in the room, she took it manually 139/68. I have bruises from the machine. Hate those things.
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mommarch: I'm so sorry to hear what happened with your DD. They do have guardian ad lietum (sp?) programs here in Florida whereby a trained individual is appointed by the court to look after the child's best interests. A lady I worked with was in that program and she was a very concerned advocate for abused children. It's a safe bet that if the authorities are called when there is any kind of domestic violence involving children that they will be taken into protective custody until things can be sorted out. Sadly, too many things have happened here in Florida and they no longer take any chances. It doesn't mean that your DD will lose custody forever....only temporarily until it can be determined if the children are safe in the home. I send you prayers and positive energy...it's a sad way to begin a new year.
Wishing everyone a very happy 2014!
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Even though I ended up with very big breasts, I had none until I was about 16 and a senior in high school. I still remember a "mean girl" who saw me after gym class my junior year and said my blouse was cute but it was a shame I had nothing to put in it. That's crushing at 15 when everyone else had respectable B's and A's. I also remember going to a football game in high school with girl friends. We were there to see the boys and have them see us, not to watch the game. I had stuffed my little stretchy non-cup AAA bra with tissue. As I was talking to the boy I had a crush on, another guy walked by and said, "Hey Sandy, you dropped something" and handed me the tissue. Talk about mortified!
The growth spurt in my senior year meant that by graduation at 17 I had nice full B's but by 19 I had jaw-dropping perfect DD's. Too bad I wasn't a "loose girl" or I could have made a fortune as a topless go-go girl. Besides, my policeman father would have killed me. One of my daughters, Stephanie, has inherited my (former) chest, but Allison, the older daughter, takes after her father's side of the family. Nice but normal B's.
After my reconstruction three weeks ago, I have a nice small chest. Quite a change from the FF's I ended up with. They project like a B but are wide like a D - typical for implants I'm told. I look good in clothes and everything fits now. No more buying a size too big in order to have it cover my chest. I can now wear blouses that button down the front and anything else I want. I don't have to wear a bra for the first time since The Beatles came to America.
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You can get a bracelet free at breastcancerfreebies.com. It is not something you would want to wear all the time, but if you are going to be sedated it is bright pink and about an inch wide, they could not miss it. You don't have to do anything to qualify for it. Some of the other things, like the free sleeves you have to fill out forms to qualify for. It is a site worth looking into.
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Mommarch, I do understand and I am so sorry for everyone concerned, including your mentally troubled daughter.
The situation with my niece, mother of three children, has deteriorated during the past few months. She has acknowledged that she cannot deal with being a full-time mother to her children. The father of the two older children (girl 8 and boy 10) will have to be the full-time parent now. But the little 4-yr old girl does not a parent who can raise her. Her dad has warrants out for his arrest and when he's caught will probably have to serve a couple of years in jail. Unless he murders my niece in one of his rages and then his punishment will be worse. He has beat her up at least 4 times, sending her to the hospital, but she's currently back with him. He's a hard-working guy and is not a bad person until something sends him into a rage. His father was an alcoholic and abused him and his mother. He didn't graduate from high school and is barely literate. So many sad stories out there with wasted lives.
Currently little Olivia is staying with the other children at night. The older children's father is living in my niece's house (which her family including me bought for her so that the children would have a home) and all three children are with him at night. My sister, the grandmother, gets them early in the morning and in the afternoon after school. Olivia goes to Headstart school, which has been wonderful for her.
On a cheerier note, we have good internet service again! We tried using our Verizon air card and that didn't work out well at all. So we have AT&T now for a good price.
Tonight dh and I are going out to dinner with two other couples. The restaurant is only a few miles from our house. Afterwards we'll come home and be in bed before midnight!
Wishing us all a healthy and happy 2014.
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Carole, what a shame your niece's poor choices will impact three innocent children. Will the father of the older two be reliable? Will your niece consider giving up her parental rights? There are so many loving families who would be thrilled to have Olivia. Carole, you've done all you can. At least you can take some consolation in that
My daughter Stephanie had legal custody of two little girls whose mother was drug addicted and had no maternal instinct. These were children #3 and #4. She had given the first to someone at a truck stop. The second one was given to a distant relative. She and Stephanie worked as waitresses and became friendly. The girl walked into the restaurant with 3 day old Shyanne and gave her to 18 year old Stephanie, saying she didn't want her. (Stephanie came home holding this little blanket and said, look what I've got!) Less than two years later she did the same with Britany. We paid for the legal fees to get the legal custody and the girls lived with Stephanie at our house or later in an apartment. We were Grandma and Grandpa. The girls still saw their mother and grandmother, who lived in town, because Stephanie didn't want them to think she was keeping them from their relatives. One day on a visit, the mother took both girls and left the state. She had hooked up again with the father of #4 and he wanted his daughter now. His mother in Louisiana would support them as long as she could see her only grandchild. So they took off. The police did nothing. They told us if the girls ever were back in Texas, to let them know. We didn't know what happened to them for 10 years. Shyanne is back in town now but Britney is still in Louisiana. Shyanne is 18 and has a 2 year old son. She and Stephanie have reconnected and she's even visited her in Florida. Shyanne is now called Nichole and doesn't really remember us. So sad. Her life could have been so different if she had stayed with Stephanie and us. She would have education and values. .
On another note, Allison left to fly back to Chicago this afternoon. She was a challenging teenager but is a wonderful woman. (41 next month) I love having her around. We will see her again in the spring when we go to St. Petersburg, FL for daughter Stephanie's college graduation. (She's getting another degree, in chemistry. She's 37 and just a great as her sister...now. As a young teen, not so much.) It's was 50 today here in San Antonio but will be 16 when Allison gets home. Wish she didn't have to drive home from the airport. It's going to be treacherous. I'm sorry for all of you who have to deal with that miserable winter weather.
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Wishing all of my BC friends a Happier & Healthier New Year!
Praying that 2014 will bring the answers I've been searching for & that I will find the courage to get on w/ my life.
Be safe & stay warm.
Love, Linda
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See being older doesn't mean having a quiet life like people think...so much confusion going on. Right now I am Thankful mine is quiet, but one never knows.
The weather isn't bad yet, but it's starting to snow and we're supposed to get enuff the next couple of days and cold so it looks like staying in is the only logical thing to do.
I wish u all a Happy and very Healthy New Year and peace of mind too.
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Here's another site that will send free LE alert bands.
http://www.lymphedema.com/alertband.htm
My hospital gives them out before surgery if you tell them you are compromised.
Happy New Year to all. 2014 will be better!!
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It should be standard of care for a hospital admission that if you have a
compromised limb they put an alert band on that arm. The unit I worked on had
good techs who could take leg BPs with no difficulty. I went to the local LE
center and they gave me a band that I keep. I wore it the day I had my
colonoscopy just in case, but admit nurse replaced it with the appropriate
alert band. I try to anticipate when they will do BP and remind myself to hold
out the R arm.Mommarch - All I can do is off a hug. Wish Texas were closer to FL.
Hoping that 2014 brings a healthier year and for those with family issues some answers are forthcoming.
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I am so sorry to hear about all the mental issues that are happening. I know it is a tough thing. We have had cancer and are doing ok, but those with mental illness seem to be in a fog that never lifts. Sad for those trying to endure life with this problem, but doubly sad for any children having to live with the instability that is a part of a parents' mental heath diagnosis. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone.
Hard to believe we are on the threshold of a brand new year about to begin. I so hope we all have a few less struggles.
Every day is a new day to me, but I do like New Year's as it is a designated ( in a manner of speaking ) time to slough off all the old negative things that tend to weigh you down and give yourself total permission to start over with a smile on your lips and a positive hope in your heart that life will be all right.
Blessings,
Jackie
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If you can work sincerely and correctly on what is at hand, and do so with energy and calm, not allowing distractions, but keeping your spirit pure, as if you had only borrowed it. . . hoping for nothing, fearing nothing, but satisfied with modulating your actions to the way of nature, and with fearless truth in every word you utter, you will live contentedly. And no one can take that from you. Marcus Aurelius
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Hi Everyone,
My attitude has certainly changed....this AM I bounded out of bed (for me that means I made it upright without creaking) with thanks on my lips that 2014 has arrived!!
I couldn't face cooking a big dinner so I am taking my family out to the fanciest restaurant in town. I am finding that this diagnosis has loosened my purse strings.
Hope 2014 is a better year:)
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My heart goes out to all of you facing challenging family situations. I hope that 2014 brings solutions and peace to your family or opens new avenues for your to explore. Hugs to all of you.
Rabbit....good for you! Enjoy that meal out! I think this diagnosis changes us in many ways. :-)
Cami....are you getting alot of snow today? It is supposed to hit here in a few hours but right now it is just cold and gloomy. We drove to Springfield fo a late Christmas with Dave's son and his family and hustled back in hopes of beating the snow. I now have a crockpot of chili simmering for this evening.
Jackie, I also like the new year as it's filled with lots of empty pages that we can create in any way that we want. I'm going to try a little harder to give a little more of myself to those who need a hand, a smile, or some comfort this year. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own busy life that I ignore situations where I might be able to make a difference. I find that I receive so much through giving. It's a win-win situation.
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Hi all.
Jackie, have you been working a lot?
ritajean expressed the feelings I couldn't put into words for those of you with family problems ... Solutions and/ or peace and/or new avenues in 2014. Of course, she wrote it more completely and beautifully.
rabbitvelvet, be sure to let us know how dinner went. Splurging sounds like a great way to start the new year.
LindaJD, getting on with life is a problem for me too. From visiting many threads here at BCO, I gather that we are not alone. However, as I read on those many threads, I "see" that there are many, many sisters who have found their paths to a good life. I hope that during 2014 you and I gather the strength and guidance they are offering.
luvmygoats and MinusTwo, thanks for the LE guidance.
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It has been a nice day inside the house! Outside, the weather was gray and cold. I just finished shopping for a swimsuit on Land's End web site. I ordered a swimsuit and a cover up with expedited shipping. I hope they both fit and look ok on me. One of the first places we visit in Australia is Cairns and we'll do an outing to the Great Barrier Reef.
The Australian Open tennis tournament will be going on in Melbourne when we're there, but dh looked up the ticket prices today and they're out of sight expensive. So we won't be going to the Open! We'll have to watch a little of it on Australian tv.
We had a delicious New Year's Day dinner. DH cooked black-eyed peas with ham yesterday. Today I cooked corned beef brisket with carrots, cabbage and potatoes and made corn bread. Also cooked brown rice to go with the peas. It was all so good. No dessert! I'll try to kick the sugar habit I always develop during the holidays.
We're having winter this year. It's supposed to get down to the teens one night next week.
Hope everyone had a good New Year's Day.
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Happy New Year to all of you wonderful ladies! So happy to put 2013 behind me and just hoping 2014 turns out as good as I hope it will. I wish good health physically and emotionally to all of you!!
We are expecting a big snow storm starting tonight and ending Friday afternoon. And, of course, I have an appointment with my BS early Friday. Good thing my husband doesn't mind driving in the snow and that her office is the next town over. This is my 6 month follow-up since my surgery and anxious to hear what the plan is. A revision of my implant is definitely on the schedule. I will not be happy if the office cancels because of the storm.
Rabbitvelvet...how cool that you splurged on this fancy dinner for the family. Share some details, please!
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My heart goes out to all of you facing challenging family situations. We had a domestic incident with one of our DS and his wife a few years back. He was arrested for the night and told to leave the house for a few day. They went throught family counseling and so far (knock on wood) they have been ok.
Thank you all for your advice on my arm. The doctor said one time should not hurt anything but to watch for swelling. This new year both my DH and I have been sitting around the house. Both are still under the weather. This cough just does not want to leave.
It has been snowing here since yesterday afternoon. DH did the driveway with the snowblower this afternoon and it was covered again within a half hour.
My DS and DIL have been married for 11 years and together for many years before that. Went through inferility process about 6 years ago with no results so they adopted a baby 4 years ago. Told everyone over the holidays that they are expecting a baby. Just found out (from test taken due to DIL's age(38) that it will be a girl and so far all tests came back ok. Everyone was very surprised including them but all are very excited.
Wishing everyone a happy new year with good health, joy, love and laughter!
Thank you all for the advice, laughs and friendship you have given this year. You ladies are great!!!
Termite
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A little something extra I found so I wanted to share it:
Whatever dreams you're dreaming,
May each one of them come true.
Whatever plans you're making,
May
they all work out for you.
And may you have more happiness
Than any
words can tell.
Not only on this day,
But all the year as
well.Author
UnknownBut Very Much
Appreciated!0 -
Drat....was hoping that the strange marks wouldn't come. Seems to depend on the site I take them from.
I had a wonderful day today though I cooked from noon on. Should have been black-eyed peas and ham for starting 2014 out right, but I don't usually do it. I had a small turkey in the freezer and had told my daughter and SIL that I would cook it for them. It's nearly 8:30 p.m. now but I needed to get the stove clean before I left the kitchen. I'm a real fanatic about not leaving one spot of dirt or oil on the stove to "fry" next time the burner is on.
At any rate, I do so hope that we all have a really wonderful, refreshing year and any hurts healing fast, and pleasures easily recalled and re-lived with just the same amt. of pleasure.
Carole, I bet we will all be waiting for a travelogue from you ( as much as possible ) from your Australian adventures.
We will be getting snow tonight or tomorrow....maybe some the next day too. Well, it is winter here. Funny to have had the brown Christmas and some days ( guess they weren't really ) that seemed a bit warm to me and now be headed back into the white stuff. I really don't mind so much, but I'm hoping it is just snow and no ice underneath. We can get around if need be, but it is far more difficult and much slower if ice is there. Doesn't sound like anything more than snow, but I don't hold my breath on it anymore.
Hope you all had a great New Years' Day. I saw a bit of parade early but once I went to the kitchen.....that was it.
Blessings,
Jackie
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What a nice day. I watched the Rose Parade with a cup of tea, a blanket, and my old cat Wesley in my lap. (He's 18) The other cats never sit with me but love my husband and his lap. It didn't used to be like that, but when I came home after my first surgery, Emily sniffed, walked away, and hasn't been back, and Jeffrey hopped up on the arm of the recliner to give me a good sniff-over then left. He will once in awhile jump back on the arm of the recliner and let me pet him, but will not stay. I used to think it was because I smelled like medicine since I had the PICC line and was getting IV antibiotics, but I don't have one anymore and they still aren't back. Our fourth cat, Rosie, has nothing to do with me lately. She is a warm weather cat and the only one who can go outside. In the summer she comes in to eat, but stays outside the rest of the time. She likes her backyard and sleeps in the sun all day. I think she's in a bad mood every winter. She will meow to go out but takes a few steps, sniffs the cold air, and turns around to come back inside. She won't be consoled with petting. She's grouchy and smacks the other cats for no reason. Good thing our winters are short and mild. This year we've had a proper winter so far. Some years it doesn't get cold enough to kill all the plants or the bugs. They are good and dead this year...too many below freezing nights in the last six weeks. Our coldest weather is coming. We often have at least one ice storm in January/February and once in a while we might get a very light snow flurry. It's such a treat for our San Antonio people, especially the kids. By March the wildflowers are blooming.
Mike and I went out for a walk in a park close to home and I surprised myself by walking a mile. Of course, I have to hold his hand or I wander all over the path if I'm looking around. If I'm looking down or ahead, I can walk straight as long as the ground is flat and smooth. If someone says, "Oh look at that" and I turn my head to one side or look up, I'm done for. If the ground gets bumpy, I'll have trouble keeping my balance and cannot look ahead. The stroke (this time last year) took away my freedom to walk for pleasure. Rehab helped so much, but I had to cut it short when I got the breast cancer diagnosis. The three surgeries since August and the extreme anemia took away my capacity for doing much more than puttering around the house and sitting in my recliner. Prior to the stroke, I was teaching fitness classes every day after work and Mike and I taught ballroom dance. We were constantly on the move and even took hiking and climbing trips. What a change in life style 2013 brought. I've never been so glad to see a year go.
For 2014, my husband says we are going to get outside and walk again, no matter what. I'm 3 1/2 weeks out from the last surgery and felt good today, so we tried it. We had a great walk and then came home to watch football all day. So far, I like 2014.
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Sandra u had a wonderful day, good for u. And I LOLed when I read u'r cat stories, they are picky I know- My cat always kneads me on both arms very gently, like PT did but she never did that before and she does it everyday now.
Jackie a quote by Marcus--the great warrior but the next cute little poem ahem.
It finally stopped snowing a little while ago, geeze we got inches and it's cold.
Well our New Year has started and I think we all want the same thing. So I pray it all happens, and our new year opens up to good year----Not the tire either
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Gee Sandra....I think I relate real well to Rosie! :-) So glad you had a good walk! I used to walk 3 miles a day faithfully and felt so much better than I do now. After I lost my walking partner I had a hard time getting back into the program. I kept putting it off and making excuses. I'm hoping to get back to walking when we get to Florida.
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sandra: That is an almost unimaginable story of your DD getting those children...I just can't imagine what would make a mother just decide to give her children away to someone at a truck stop. At least she chose someone she knew and worked with to give the other one to. Just giving them away like kittens....how sad. It must have been very upsetting to lose them after taking care of them and forming close bonds.
Slow day here....football until I feel my head is going to explode! I don't mind rooting for a team I have interest in but to sit and mindlessly watch game after game...I don't see the point?
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Kaara, I think it takes a Y chromosome to see the point. I kept wondering if Barbara Bush really wanted to spend her time in the hospital watching football.
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Happy New Year to the dear friends on this thread.
Jackie, I guess you did not get the first round of snow ... but round 2 is coming. Be safe.
We are expecting a coastal storm with high winds - blizzard conditions on LongIsland.
I enjoyed the posts about book stores and digital books. I am a bookstore addict and have made a conscious effort to not bring more into my home. I love to hold and own hard copies...my son and I counted about 1,000 books and that was probablly over 10 years ago. But when i realize that I cannot possibly read them all in my busy life, I try to let go.Mommarch,my heart is breaking for you and your DH as you must feel so helpless for your daughter and the children. It sounds complex and that fixing blame is not the route to take. I offer you hugs and prayers, and most of all hope.
Be safe and warm,
Joan
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I am borderline on HER2. I was originally diagnosed as Triple Negative. I am already have insurance woes a month into this. I am to start chemo tomorrow and my insurance says that the neulasta has to go through the pharmacy. They will not pay for it in conjunction with the chemo. I am hoping they will work something out.
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Good morning ladies...ahhhhhh big sigh......holiday travel over; some free time; taking a day off from work due to the snowy roads. Tree still up...I love the lights...no rush. I'll be housebound tomorrow -- hopefully with power. Snow and winds intensify 6PM. DD is south of Boston where most intense winds, tides and 18" snow will be.
Oh Carole, teens in the south!
My DS went back to Chicago where there are multiple snow events and near zero temps...I don't think he even has snow boots. He's a NY transplant.tekwriter, it is so unfortunate that you have to worry about the drug that you are needing with chemo. As if chemo isn't stressful enough....I hope that you will be able to resolve this. Hugs & prayers for minimal side effects for you.
Ritajean, it's great news that your tests are clear!
Sandra, one of my ('66) classmates' dad owned a clothing business and she wore a new expensive mohair sweater every day. I was so jealous...Mom got me just one for Christmas.
The story you tell of your big-hearted daughter and the babies is amazing. It is bittersweet, but you probably saved their lives. It just doesn't seem fair that the irresponsible family got the rewards of your loving care and support.We spontaneously drove to my brother's 3 hour upstate NY on New Years Eve. It was a relaxing evening, and my SIL is a fabulous cook. I got a voicemail at 6 AM about my grandson (who I raised) being in a hospita. His gf forgot to say whether he was OK or where they were. I spent hours trying to track them down (finally through his gf's parents). It turns out it was a party-related incident and there were multiple versions of who was responsible for his illness.
The hospital wouldn't treat without his medical card. He and gf took a $100 cab ride back to NY. I did not pry or preach. I was grateful he was OK, and I hoped he learned something from this. The gf's mother called me and was angry that her DD had to deal with this...very judgmental. That is strange because she is a family therapist. How about "glad you are OK and we will want to talk about this when you are feeling better"?Be safe and keep warm!
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Tekwriter - I did not have chemo so cannot address any of those particulars. Have you involved the social worker in your local hospital or cancer center? Both would have been available to me.There might be a local cancer organization that could step up for you. Confused on the "they will not pay for it in conjunction with chemo". What do they propose you use Neulasta for if not for chemo and low WBCs? Yes, I would see that it would come thru the pharmacy, that's not surprising. My center has a dispensing pharmacy but then it is a big statewide organization.
I think you can get a case manager from your insurance company simply by asking. I would simply call the customer service # and state you want an RN case manager assigned to you. They will help tie loose ends together esp. if your cancer center is small or your docs are independent. I had one offered to me repeatedly but did not need their services (BCBS ins.). I truly have been satisfied with my ins. and have never had a qualm picking up the phone and asking a question. In fact I got the same person a couple of times but I think it was because it was very early morning call. You know how at the last minute the day of a procedure you've got that all important question.
Be the squeaky wheel. This is one time being "nice, quiet, ladylike" is not beneficial. Not that I'm saying with belligerence or profanity but stubborn. I can be a different person on the phone than in person. In fact I have written a script out for myself on difficult calls; helps organize my thoughts. Keep the names of everyone you talk to. I have a sneaky way of doing that. I thank them at the end of the call. Thank you _______. They will correct the name if you have it wrong. Or start the conversation with their name. ______ I'm call today to -----.
Hope this helps some. Hugs coming your way. Insurance is a booger bear even for the educated which I can tell you are by your profile. I would hope the Neulasta coverage is just a blip on your radar screen. Hope you are enveloped and surrounded by caring people today on your first chemo day and it is as uneventful as chemo can be.
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Yee Gads Joan. What a nightmare for you. GF's mom sounds like a twit. Well, GF was at the party so sounds like she was a part/parcel of it so why shouldn't she have to deal with it. Hope GF is more human that her mom - if they're serious. Yes, experience is a great teacher. Glad he is OK. I would be unable to function had that happened to my DD (unable to locate her). Mine will usually answer a text; phone call fugetaboutit.
Sounds like the storm I'm seeing on the news is hammering you. Guess it's a good thing it waited past NY's Eve. Hope your power stays on. That's what I worry about most. We have a fireplace and tons of wood out back to use but it wouldn't do much. House is all electric otherwise. Last ice storm was mostly sleet here that thawed, refroze repeatedly. Not much on power lines/trees as far west of the Metroplex as I am.
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