Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
5 Quotes of Wisdom’s:
1- If you are right then there is no need to get angry.
And if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry.2- Patience with family is love, Patience with others is respect.
Patience with self is confidence.3- Never think hard about past. It brings tears. Don’t think more about future.
It brings fears. Live this moment with a smile. It brings cheers.4- Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to make us or break us. Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.
5- Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful ….!!
Author not given.
0 -
Sally...as my husband said as we got in the car, "another successful shopping trip!" Which is what he always says when we buy NOTHING! LOL Going to Pier 1 later...they have the Christmas things marked down to 75% and hoping they still have some more LiBien ornaments to put away for next year.
Can't believe it is 52 degrees here! This is the craziest weather. And it is pouring.
0 -
mommarch, hopefully you and DH are enjoying your time with your son's family and my prayers are with for the situation in Florida. Keep us posted on your progress in Florida.
Carole, your family dinners sound delicious and a lot of fun, Enjoy every chance you get to spend with your mother.
Sandra, enjoy your trip. it sounds like so much fun.
We have lots of snow and in the negative digits for temperatures. I had to work today but DH's work closed today and tomorrow. All schools were closed today and will be closed again tomorrow. We had 15 children in the center today.Some parents even brought their kids in to the center but were off workthemselves. I would not have ventured out today if I did not have to.
Stay warm everyone and have a good week
0 -
OMG we are colder than Syberia now, termite did u know that? Be careful out there.
It's nice to hear in the 50's and raining, so someone isn't freezing Mgster ahem.LOL
I hope Mommarch keeps us posted a bit.
0 -
I'm thinking about mommarch, too, and hoping for the very best outcome.
I was out and about most of the day, and it was cold and windy. Tonight the temp. is supposed to get down into the teens. Our thermostat automatically drops to 55 degrees at night in the winter weather. Normally it never comes on at night but I expect it will tonight. I wonder if dh will open the window in the bedroom a teensy bit? He has a thing about sleeping with a window open.
Sandra, I hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise.
I had a gift card for a free microdermabrasion on my face and used it today. It's like having your face sanded with sandpaper! But afterwards my skin felt really smooth. It only took about 15 min. and the price without the gift card is $120!
The swimsuit I ordered from Land's End arrived today and it fit. It's a "little ole lady" one-piece style. I also ordered a coverup that's like a sleeveless pullover dress. It's too large but I'll use it anyway. It's been a long time since I wore a swimsuit but I'll need one in Australia when we visit the Great Barrier Reef and go snorkeling, something I haven't done in a long time, too.
Everyone stay warm and safe.
0 -
My Chicago daughter sent me a clip from the newspaper there...it's colder in Chicago today than in Antarctica!! Can't really complain about our 22 degrees today. Oh wait, yes I can...this is south Texas! How could we be feeling the affects of the polar vortex all the way down here?
Kids are a behavior problem everywhere these days. I know I sound like the old man waving his cane and shouting, "Hey kids, get off my lawn," but we go out of our way to stay away from places that have a lot of kids, especially restaurants. My husband always says, "Just ignore them," but I can't ignore a kids running around, bothering everyone. The managers will never do a thing...they don't really care, as long as they get their money. Most of the cruise lines do a great job with their kid programs and children's areas. One time on Carnival we didn't see a single child and then found out there were 800 on board! Holidays are bad...NEVER cruise on a holiday or in the summer. We made the mistake of doing a New Year's cruise one year...learned our lesson. The length of the cruise makes a difference. There are more kids on the 5 day ones because young parents usually have limited vacation time. There will be quite a few kids and teens on our upcoming cruise. So many kids are home schooled these days so they can travel year round. Our cabin is in an adults only section so I don't care.
All my cats are siting in little "kitty loafs" with their paws tucked in. It's cold in here.
0 -
Hi all,
The frigid air has arrived. It was about 50 deg. at 4 PM and now is in the teens and dropping.
My DS in Chicago said it is "hell on earth" out there. He worked from home Monday.Be safe and warm.
0 -
Heat wave today in central Illinois................-14 when we got up and it's already up to -10 with a very severe wind chill! Think I'll get serious about packing today as I don't have to go anywhere. Brrr......
0 -
Morning ladies,
I don't know what the thermometers says, but I know it is rather brutal out. Finally got the driveway pretty much cleared enough to move the cars. The township snowplow came yesterday as well. Could not get any farther than our drive --- but I feel now that we can leave and the roads beyond us should be ok for using. Carefully..... This is a first for us here and it sure is an un-wanted one. Not sure what to think.....A bad yr. was predicted this past winter and it was in fact a fairly warm one. Now.....this one is surely making up for it in spades.
Rita, I'm already in envy of your trip to Florida.....though we will have a warming trend starting very soon. Today....oh were it today, but by the week-end. Just wild here.
Anyway, I hope anyone in snow country can take it easy. I have errands that were left that need to happen today.....so I will be leaving soon. Dh is going to his Dr. in Mt. Vernon. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
Hoping that all remains fine. See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
0 -
Sandra, what do you do with your cats when you cruise?
ritajean, are there problems leaving your home empty when the weather gets bad?
I had my first radiation treatment yesterday. It went well although it took longer than I expected due, I think, to some adjustments to the original plan. On the winter rads thread some people talk about a dry run. I think this first treatment and the dry run were combined. I did have a simulation several weeks ago. I also had my first appointment post anastrozole starting with my MO yesterday. It's been a month. I have a few very mild side effects. He said that more SEs may develop. Unless I need to see him before, my next appointment is in 3 months.
I am thinking of all of you who are in the Arctic wave of cold air. I too was surprised that it reached down to Texas. The airlines seem to be in a mess which I hope will not be a problem for those of you traveling.
0 -
Sally, Glad that you have a radiation treatment behind you. The first few take the longest. Then it seems that it takes you longer to undress and put on the gown than it does to have the treatment. :-) It just gets monotonous.
We have a gal who comes everyday to check our house while we are gone. She sends the first class mail to us once a week and will feed the feral cat if she/he/it is still around. Eventually I will probably sell my house here and just move to a warmer climate but I'm not ready yet to do that. I love this Illinois house in the woods with all the nature and deer around us and would miss the setting. Too bad we can't just pick up this acre of land and house and transplant it to FL or somewhere else that's warm! :-) I would love to move closer to my son and his family but his company transfers him about every 2 to 3 years. I would just get settled and meet some friends and the
kids" would be gone to a new location so that isn't going to work.Jackie....and anybody else who has to get out in this terribly cold weather with the dangerous roads and drifting snow.....BE CAREFUL!!!!
Carole...When do you leave on your trip? I have never gone snorkeling so you'll have to keep us updated on your trip and activities.
Sending good vibes to mommarch!
0 -
Afternoon ladies! Out all day looking for a part for my guest shower...I would have purchased at the first place we stopped but BF wanted to run all over town to get the best value. He couldn't understand my annoyance until I explained the difference between men and women...women will run all over town to find a dress or pair of shoes, but not a plumbing part:( Men will do the opposite...at least that's my perspective on the subject:) Anyway, part found and ordered along with a new hot water heater. There was a plumber in the store that will deliver and install it for us for a good price, so my time was not wasted in running around....lol!
Tonight we go to a very upscale steakhouse for dinner (my treat for BF's birthday) no eating after breakfast so we have a good appetite. I will probably order a veal chop since it is somewhat lighter than beef although still considered red meat.
College football is over for the year...yea! Seminoles won the championship last night and it was a good game...enjoyed it in spite of my dislike for football. After all...it is a Florida team.
Weather a little chilly here today....low in the 40's....high in the 60's. I feel guilty even saying this:(
0 -
Ahem, back for a tiny bit. Just got home. Even though I did not have to go to work, Dh's car would not start. So, out we went and fed the feral cats....the ones who would venture out......then on to Mt. Vernon V.A. for Dh's appt. there. Kaara, I sure thought of you.....in typical man fashion Dh told me how I should use the interstate....what good shape it would be in and ya-da, ya-da,ya-da.
Of course it wasn't. We were going about 35 mph. most of the way there. Cars all over in the medians. I did fine, but I did mention casually to him how much like his family he is.....just make it up, if you don't know it, and say it with the utmost confidence. Of course, there was no way for him to know as he himself had not used the interstate for some time. Sshhh, don't tell, but I seldom believe anything he says when it has THAT tone of bravado in it. So, I decided I'd prove him wrong and I did. Came home the old highway hours later and it was not great, but much, much better.
Anyway, all is fine. Took so long with him though that I'll have a couple of things to do tomorrow. That is ok as I'll be back out checking on the feral cats anyway. Good to be home and inside though.
Blessings,
Jackie
0 -
Sandra: One brave restaurant owner in Houston posted new rules that children under 8 years old were not allowed after 7pm. HOORAY. Of course the young parents who drag their kids out to dinner at 10pm when they should be in bed anyway were outraged. But he's stuck to his guns and many of us are glad to have this option. Now I'm shaking my cane at the kids on the grass - but for heaven's sake - who wants to go out to eat with little kids running everywhere & throwing food & screaming & their parents are both busy texting.
Carole - one more day!! I think you'll enjoy the snorkeling if you can relax in the water.
0 -
MinusTwo, I remember back in the day when children in restaurants were generally well behaved. It seems that today's young parents think that the other restaurant patrons should be babysitters while their little angels wreak havoc. Same goes for stores and planes. It's one of my pet peeves. One of the perks of retirement is being able to shop when kids are in school. If I was in Houston, I'd make sure to go to that restaurant.
0 -
Can't say I can even remember being annoyed by kids in restaurants. However, shopping is another matter. Since we have two toddler grandkids we are at Toys R Us sometimes and it seems like kids think it is a playground. They are riding on the ride-on toys that are for sale. And last time we were there a kid was bouncing lots of balls around until a clerk told him to put them back in the bin. I don't really blame the kids...it is the parents who are allowing this behavior. We had three children and when we went out to dinner they stayed in their seats. They may have been loud, but they never ran around. Of course, we didn't go to fancy adult places and just stuck to family restaurants. I was out to dinner with a group of ladies last summer and there were two couples at the next table. People in our age group. One of the husbands had a few too many and he was tossing around the "F" word, and, of course, he was loud. Finally his wife told him to knock it off. Probably because of all the dirty looks we were sending their way. I mean, really!
0 -
Ladies- I am kindoff new to this forum but I havd a dilemma andneed advise on how to deal w/it. I see my MO tomorrow after a 3 month wait since I had RADS in September for clavicular node. I also have a 10mm spot on one of my lungs. I have decided no more new drugs for me and stopped TAmoxifen a month ago d/t side effects. I already have severe neuropathy from chemo (6) years ago.
How do I tell my only child (son whois 40) that I want no more Rx. I do not wish to lie to him so suggested I go alone. for my appt tomorrow. Much as I love my family I want no pressure to continue. Hopefully this will not cause a major rift between us but only I know what my body has endured thus far and I now want to enjoy some time to enjoy thr grandkids without tryiing to keep a brave face during more drug treatments.Faslodex was mentioned but not going to do. At 66 I feel I have a good life-no regrets. My time may be limited- only god knows what is ahead for me. (I am a retired RN so perhaps I know too much) Anyway any thought on if to tell my son my plan which may allienate him, or should I just avoid discussions on the subject at all.?
0 -
Mary, that reminds me of one time we went to an expensive nice Restaurant for an anniversary! The food was excellent, but a group of Drunks was seated in the same small room! Man, I will take kids any time! I think the staff set them as far away from the other diners as possible, but it was in the nice quiet room we were in!
We finally just hurried and left! I hate scenes! But the more I think about it, I SHOULD have walked out to find a staff member, or waitress, and told them we would like to be relocated to a less beligerant group of drunks! It just ruined our night!
Grammy, that's a tough one....! I mean I hated to bring up me making pre-paid cremation plans for us to our Daughters..... And I WON'T talk about it to DH.
It IS your choice, but you might change your mind.... What does your team say... I mean I don't blame you for just wanting to hang it up, but ask your Docs..... See what they think....
No, you don't have to tell your family.... don't know if I would either.... But maybe you could write it all down, and tell them what you think is going on, and that you want to be able to figure this all out, but for now, you want it all to be left up to you....
Just see what they say.... You being a retired RN, you know more about what is going on, than anyone else....
Or you could say something like, "my friend is going through an awful time.... she has this type of cancer that is most surely going to get the best of her, and she is worried about bringing this up to her family.... "..... I could write things down, that I couldn't say.
I'll be thinking of you.... (((hugs))))
0 -
GrammyR---wow a tough choice and a tough decision and even tougher to say to u'r son. Again u know more than most and u know u'r son the best, u r still young but Like we said u know u'rself and hat u can or can not handle. Personally I wouldn't tell my son, it would add to much stress for you and him and maybe even him getting angry at u, not really mad mad but just upset and tht's the last thing u want. But I would certainly talk to my team and see all the new things on the horizon for what is being used and done for more advanced, cuz there is so much more now. And there might be something that helps u a lot that's new. (((HUG)))
0 -
Kids in restaurants---oh we always sit next to a whineing crying kid with Well I'm not a kid lover--I know u couldn't tell how I talk about Joey--but even when I'm with him I tell him to act like a 30 yr. old or he can play in his own room, he opts for the 30 yr old. I'm bad. He likes to go with me for blood draws and he acts wonderful otherwise I'd never take him, he thinks holding my hand helps me nd just holding my hand I enjoy. He never runs, bothers people just sits and we talk or he reads. Unfortunately I demanded that yrs ago and he just follows now and says he's glad cuz adults like him. I don't know if it will scar him for life, but I do know everyone in the neighborhood always says he's the best kid, and teachers too and he likes that. I know kids have to be kids, but if u'r going to take them in public places they don't have to annoy people, my kids didn't either, but at home my oldest was a handful, the funny part is they are the same way now that I am. Wow I do sound like a mean old Bi*ch, I guess I am.
0 -
Grammy, you are too young to give up. A bc sister, Susan, on the What's for Dinner? thread has been on faslodex for 4 years and is still active in her career. She's our chef expert on the thread and is very kind. Maybe you could PM her with questions. Susan is Stage 4. You sound depressed, for good reason. You've been through a lot. Please talk to your medical team and be completely honest as you've been with us.
As for the question you asked, what kind of person is your son? Try to put yourself in his place. Would he want to know? How is it going to affect his life if you don't tell him? Obviously you want the best for him.
I totally understand that quality of life means everything. None of us would want to prolong a completely miserable existence. I am so sorry you've had all this misery to deal with. Hugs.
0 -
Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.
Asha Tyson
0 -
First Grammy, I admire your strength. You are the only one who knows the pressure and turmoil the trials you have been through have brought to bear. I do feel though that it is possible there could be some adjustments that might make a difference. So, as Carole mentioned.....I would ( before any other persons ) discuss this with your medical team/personnel/Dr. and make sure that you clearly see possible other answers or opportunities....one way or the other.
My mother chose when to let go and I've had such admiration for the strength and determination she had in doing it. She passed away from C.O.P.D with a lung cancer forming...but this cancer was really quite late and only detected days before she left us. I feel certain she could have made it for a tiny bit longer, but she knew her quality of life was actually on a minus scale by then. Still, it was not easy for her --- her last few hours were hard on everyone. The important thing was though that she chose and we ALL understood her choice and supported her.
This is what I am hoping for you. If you are looking rather well, and have put on a brave face, I think it would be much harder to help your loved ones see things your way. You might be able to find ( the Internet could be helpful here ) some books, or essays to read that address so many of your current feelings and thoughts. Still, I would make absolutely certain there is nothing that could help you have some more quality time.
Maybe if you give it a while longer and explore as many positive ways as you can find to help you share with your loved ones some of the touchier and hard decisions.......you might all be able to come together at almost the same place.
I wish you well with things. You are brave and I think perhaps stoic and very honest. I hope this works out for all.
Blessings,
Jackie
.0 -
GrammyR, by the time you read this, you may have already been to the doctor. I hope the visit brought (or will bring) some clarity about your situation. Perhaps you have already set a discussion with your son in motion when you suggested that you go alone to this appointment. He may sense that you are making a care plan change. Hopefully, he will not be alienated by your decision. Might it seem like alienation when in fact he might be feeling fear? Please keep us posted ... we care!
0 -
I was so fortunate that my kids were 100% in my corner when I decided to forego radiation after my surgery and use some alternative health treatments instead. They know my wishes regarding my end of life choices and I have no doubt that they will support me. It's a good feeling to have.
Jackie I loved your remark...."that tone of bravado".....yes that's it...LOL! I finally exercised my right to make the decision regarding the shower head replacement and it will be here in three days for installation. It's something BF can just screw into place and feel productive. In the meantime, new hot water heater was installed today and the guy who did it is also very handy with carpentry, etc. Good person to know and very nice. Will use him to repair things at my rental properties...have needed someone like this for a long time. As my DGD says..."the universe takes care of our needs Grandma, if we only let it."
Our dinner last night was fantastic...I had a bone in filet and we shared a salad and a to die for potato casserole, along with a slice of cheesecake for dessert. We were going to order wine, but it was $23 a glass...what! The water was just fine and we had wine when we got home...lol!
0 -
Kaara, your dinner sounds wonderful. Finding handy people is a gift. Knowing that help is a phone call away reduces stress. It's time for me to call the window washers.
0 -
Kaara...your DGD is so right about the Universe. I think of all the things that entangle us, and how 'emotionally' into them we can get....needing comfort and or solutions.......and no matter what we do it often seems to drag on and we can't seem to get a clean resolution. If you are able to stand back and let things happen, sometimes, the answer will just be sitting there waiting for you to "discover" it. So many "aha" moments are created for us and we look to ourselves as people with such ingenuity. Well, we all have that when we relax into it. It is getting to the relaxation about so many, many things that brings us up short.
Water is better than anything for your body....however, I admit, a lot of mine has to be flavored beforehand with a bunch of Yuban coffee. Yum. Then there is a slice or two of lemon as well. I have been known to drink as much as 12 glasses a day.....I do love water, but know I don't drink as much as I used to. It flushes so much out of your body and so getting a nice amt. will never hurt.
Blessings,
Jackie
0 -
Hi Everyone
Yesterday was 'the day'...visited both radiation and medical oncologists. The upshot was that I am scheduled for a MUGA (sp?) nuclear med scan this week and start chemo on Wednesday, the 15th. I'm to have the TCH regimen which I understand to be Taxotere, Cytoxan and Herceptin every 3 weeks for 6 cycles. Then the Herceptin will continue for a full year. The radiation treatment will probably overlap the Herceptin chemo at some point.
The RN case manager just called to give me the news that should I opt to give myself the daily Neupogen injection at home ....I am looking at $2600 total as my penalty for being in the donut hole!! For now I opted to drive to the closest Kaiser clinic and pay only $10 per Neupogen injection. She gave me the option of receiving one monthly shot of Neulasta but I said no, citing all the info I'd read on bc.org relative to the severe bone pain. If I end up wimping out because of the daily commute to the clinic (50 min round trip)...I will just have to pay up to inject myself.
It's funny (?) that I was seriously contemplating the penguin cold cap regime to the tune of $580 per month but the mo advised against them; he cited instances where women that had used the cold caps later developed brain mets. Since my Mom died from lung cancer w/mets to her liver, bones and brain I caved. Now I have money to pay my donut hole:(!
Thanks for listening
0 -
Kaara...$23.00 a glass!!! I can buy four bottles with that much money. LOL The meal sounds delicious.
Grammy...I hope you will come back and tell us how everything went and what decisions you have made. I think most of us reading your post secretly thought "please don't give up!" But, you are the only one who knows what you can and cannot endure. Whatever your choice you can get support here.
0
