Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hope each and everyone of you have a good blessed day. I am trying to not spend so much time on the computer and doing "real life" I started knitting an afghan yesterday. I have 32 squares knitted to be crocheted together and have watched you tube trying to learn to double crochet but am just not getting it, am I too dumb or too use to knitting. Don't know, but after my frustration is over will try again.
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Hi All.
Alyson , yes we do have fireworks night here...big time !! I used to love it as a kid, collecting all the wood up weeks before Bonfire night.When I was a slip of a girl, loooong time ago, we all seemed to have our own small fire in our gardens. Now, with the global warming thingy going on, we are encouraged to visit monster fires and firework displays, in the public parks. Trouble is no-one can park anywhere near at all so I don't go.
My DD always has a bonfire party, and we usually go there. I like to get down roasting the baked potatoes as the fire burns down. I'm a bit of a firebug, any excuse and I will light a fire, and stand around poking it for ages (doesn't take much to entertain me)It is a bit of a family joke, if there's a big fire anywhere, I get usually get asked 'was it you !!.'
Melissa. I had a double mast, a while ago now, May 14th 2003, and I was very aware of my chest all that summer. I still have the numbness under my arm, and down the back of it. Also my arm is quite painful a good deal of the time. I was told I would be free of this feeling in about 6 months, but since read that 20% of mast. patients get this long term pain. Is that a Pekingese you are holding in your pic ?? I bred Pekes for years and years, don't have any left now. Lost my last one 18 months ago. I used to absolutely love them, have had all colours. One day I promise myself I will get another one, but the prices are putting me off....£1000 is about the price at the moment, wish I could have got that price years ago when I had puppies to sell. None of my family like Pekes, so thats another thing holding me back, where it would end up if anything happened to me.....also knowing me I wouldn't just get one, I'd come away with a pair, so double trouble, and double worry for me long term.
We are very soft with all our animals, keep most cows 'til they're knackered !!!! Will never sell them thru a market, I need to know their end if they've belonged to me. I couldn't eat anything I had talked to, Spar, no way ! I don't eat beef, and I don't eat lamb...it would be like eating my children to me, so disrespectful to the animals I have. I will eat pork though, as I don't have any pigs, and somehow I CAN do it, never think twice about it..... though DH gets a bit sick of pork pork pork ! We have not made a profit from our animals in the last 3 years, DH keeps threatening to sell up, but he's as soft as I am with the cows in particular, so we never shall.
Just getting out last years project, which was sewing sequins on an angora beret. It took me all last winter to get it half done, and I shall never finish it this year, I have to have something to do when I sit on a night, can't just watch a TV programe, it bores me to death, but DH has a fit if I am always on my pc ! I just can't master crocheting, my grandmother tried and tried with me, but it wouldn't go in ! I love to sew, curtains and blinds are my thing, I love to sit and make over the top blinds when I am in the house passing time thru the day.
The weather is awful, sideways rain, very cold, at this rate we shall run out of logs half way thru winter. It is so nice to settle down in front of the fire with my laptop on an afternoon, all my dogs snoring around my feet, and fighting for best position either right up against the fire or on top of my feet....wishing it was Spring already, don't like this prolonged rainy weather.
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Isabella Yes a Peke- I have had 6 throughout mu life and always return to them no matter what other type of dog we drag home- Labs, Love Labs- had two and a Peke then got 2 Pekes again. The one in the picture is Eddie- He is Mama's boy and I adore him, He is nuclear- weighs in at 23 LP NOT FAT just BIG- Ling-Ling has blue blood and she will tell you- weighs in a 9 pounds. No idea is good unless it is hers and Eddie and I don't care. We have hair everywhere, infact I KINDA dusted it up this morning- but just 2 weeks out from Bil-mx, some of the hair will just keep me company. I adore animals- like them better than most people--except I find you ladies quite likable, smart and helpful-not judgmental and not demanding. Perfect pals.
My hubby is constantly irritated at my sitting in front of the TV with the laptop going but heres the deal-- I can watch Hitler march into Poland one more time!!! I mean good greif the poor people suffered enough in the 40's right? History channel- I love history but lets move around the world a bit- really, France has History, NZ has history, Canada has history the UK- you get the idea.My husband was stationed in NZ in the early 70's and I would love to see your country, Alyson.
Thanks to all of you for sharing your progress and letting me know what to expect- I know we are all different and everyday is a small progress in my stamina and healing. It is just so important to have someone to ask THANKS.
I plan on taking up embroidery again as soon as I can drive myself to buy a new pattern. We are moving in May and I don't want to take one Southwest thing with me- well maybe one as I was given a cradle board from a Navajo woman whose children I delivered when I was a new nurse. I will keep that but otherwise I want a farmhouse and i want it to look and feel like a farmhouse.
King Eddie of the mini farm, King of flowers everywhere one looks.
Have a wonderful day ladies.
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Hi Ritajean,
We live on the NE coast of Florida, south of St. Augustine. It is quieter here than south Florida but not nearly as tropical. We can grow the tropical plants but they do not flourish like in S. Fla. Folks say we have 3 seasons, just not winter. Our little town is kind of lost in time... no highrise buildings, no fast food places, no big box stores. DD, grandson and I were on the beach late today... not another single person in sight! Quiet living.
Kathleen,
I was born in Virginia, Charlottsville. I did not grow up there... wish I could call myself a real Virginian. Love the accent and always such gracious people. We like to drive through the Shenendoah Valley. This breast cancer thing really seems to bring out all the latent problems we did not know we had. I am trying to shake off the mantle of sickness but it is hard when you keep being drug back in to a Doctor's office. I always say if they keep looking they are sure to find something wrong. I feel like my children don't understand why I am not my old self and I am trying hard to be... but it is more complicated than just wishing it. I exercise, diet, I am of good cheer, I try not to complain but I am not the strong person I used to be. Maybe someday,
Well, thanks for listening.
Pam
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Pam, your comments about being dragged back to a doctor, reminds me of my late father in law, who was a known surgeon. He used to say the only healthy person is someone who has not yet been to the doctor.
Hugs
Mandy
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Mandy... I love it! I am remembering that line.
pam
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Pam none of us are as strong and yet we are stronger than we used to be- we just have times when we think we aren't as strong, and "This too shall pass".
I think that is why we have each other- you prop me up today, Carol Props you up on Friday, You prop me up on Monday or next month,
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Hi Northstar. I am 66 Found out 8/4/09 two chemo traetment so far, we can talk i am very upset in florida .
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Stormi....so sorry to hear your news. You have come to a wonderful place though. The ladies here ( we say age-wise we are well seasoned ) are very sympathetic to what it feels like to get this type of disease when you have a few extra years to wear.. Please get a cup of tea from the sideboard, pull up a chair and join all of us at the fireplace. We welcome you.
Pam....I still ( today was one of them ) have some times when I'm dragging a bit and wonder just how long it will be till I feel good everyday....consistently. Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with feeling you can't trust the body that let you down....that had enough weakness and stress somewhere that a terrible disease like cancer could invade. If you are like me....this was not going to happen, could not happen. I made it to 63 before the thing that was not going to happen, could not happen, did. An innocence has been stolen and we have to forevermore bear the weight. I'm almost two years out now from diagnosis and one year into taking Arimidex. We are going to make it because we will stand shoulder to shoulder so nobody falls.
I hope you all have a marvelous day tomorrow.
Hang in there Stormi....you are not alone.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good morning Ladies. It is 5:40 a.m. here and I cannot sleep. I have been up since 5:02, getting coffee, catching up on the boards. I just want to say that it is so lovely to be able to come here and talk with all of you. To imagine, Isabella, sitting by the fire, surrounded by dogs, all cozy on a cold winter night; or having Jackie talk about getting a cup of tea from the sideboard; or imaging a farmhouse with King Eddie running through the flowers. It makes me feel all warm and cozy and somehow familiar. It is also comforting to being able to talk with sisters who understand how I feel, who don't judge me and prop me up. Thank you - and welcome Stormi - these women are the only good thing that came out of being one of the eight women who will get breast cancer in their lifetime. Welcome to a group of well-seasomed, even on occasion salty, wonderful women. May each of you have a painless day with all your great dreams to keep you company.
Mandy - I love that line too!
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Kathleen - that is a crazy early hour to be up! I am so delighted to be done with radiation - it has been a whole week now - so that I can sleep in again.
My solution for those occasions when I can't sleep happened by accident. Last summer, before all this BC nonsense, I discovered the existence of massage chairs. Always intimidated by going for a regular massage in case I ended up in a house of ill repute, I thought this was a magnificent idea. This discovery coincided with the last of my three children finishing needing money for university (he completed the last bits of his degree this year on his own dime). So now I have this wonderful chair - the Cadillac version. Considerably cheaper than getting a divorce and it never complains. It always relaxes me enough to go back to sleep and keeps my aching bones moving during the day. Not so beautiful in my living room, but one of the most useful pieces of furniture in my house.
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scoot over mccraw, I want a cup of tea by the fire- King Eddie is making his morning rounds and will be in shortly with the first of many reports. Butterflies in the wildflowers, smell of raccoons over near the cantaloupe patch, and the DEER has been everywhere- the nerve of them! He will be vigilant to secure my garden. Isabella, thanks for the fire, I too get caught up staring into the coals, not as tempted as you to "stir the pot"- you can have that job and I will enjoy the benefits.By the way, there is a beautiful palomino across the street from the farmhouse that call Honey Boy because he is the color of creamed honey and he just gallops to see me... he ls lovely company also and would "talk" with all of you should you stop by.
We need to make room for Pam, Jackie, Stormi, Northstar and others yet unknown to us to bask in our comfort-the comfort we have created for ourselves- a lesson we need to remember. It is so wonderful to have you ALL- each and everyone of us are here for the same,yet different reasons on different days. That's OK , one thing I have learned is that some days I need to ask for help and you know what, THAT'S OK!
Love to you all, Yes let us each have a physically and emotionally painless day! Hugs, Melissa
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Melissa, thank you for reminding me that I need to learn to create comfort for myself and to bask in it. I am one of those people who is always running and doing for everyone and forgets to sit down and smell the roses (or look at the fire).
IMandy
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What a wonderful peaceful picture. love it. Can you make room for Spar too for a cup of tea, I am in need for a little comfort tonight.
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Well, we have a fire, now to smell the roses
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Isabelle$ glad to hear Harves Festival still exists and Oh my what night with the poor cow and howsoft the little calf's muzzle must be -
PJ12345 - Yes at least i know they will do better at helping someone elseafter they have worked out how to keep me able to have Zometta.
kmccraw423 - I got my car licensed last week and my back doctor adjusted the 8-way seat and so I am working out how far I can drive before my back (ancient injury) goes into spasm. It is good to be out, but not good to be in agony after driving. I hope this week will be better after the adjustment.
I know this sound gruesome but in the UK and some leading places here in the US they use sterile maggots to clean up diabetic ulcers with amazing healing results.
Ritajean - thanks for the sympathy - I don't usually tell anyone about TG and the ILs - but here it feels like we all can share anything.
Emotional vent coming up .....
I understand the tired and heartbroken - I am not doing very well now - my eldest daughter just called Tuesday.her partner has been dealing with IBS for a few months and I had been suggesting the dreaded colonoscopy. Last week he called his GP and the test was set. He went Monday morning. After five minutes they stopped sent stuff to the lab and took him to do a CT/Pet scan. After a couple of hours, they were told he has the biggest malignant tumor they have ever seen in his Sigmoid Colon and two spots on his liver. On the way home they received a call on the mobile to go to the chemist and collect some Tramadol, So he is out of pain now. Then yesterday morning he saw the two top surgical consults in the area and they will be doing the surgery together next Wednesday.
I was all I needed to be on the phone - but a basket case for the rest of the day and into the night. S0 this is the plan: - I have come to the conclusion that I have to do the impossible and get beyond where i am , beyond stable - holding the cancer at a chronic level and somehow become NED/in remission - my daughter needs me now and not as a patient.
They are still in shock and of course Gary is floating round the ceiling enjoying being out of pain for the first time in months, but he will soon adapt to the painkillers and come down to face reality.
We lost my nephew of 45 (my cancer buddy doing well until 5 days before his death) on my great grandaughter's birthday and the day before his mother's birthday April 4, my brother died after 5 days of chest pain on my grandson's birthday June 2nd, my other brother has been really ill since a fall 5 fractures ad two strokes in July and now this - my poor family have had enough and I can't fix it! I am usually the one to go and help everyone - I can't fix it for me or anyone .... and then it was bonfire night .. it was lke the last straw - and today I carried on driving the autistic adult I help, to his appointments - (I help people a lot) smiling at everyone, calming him, dealing with the doctors and his Medicare problems, smoothing his day - and yet I wanted to scream .... Life is sometimes a bit of a challenge.
I wonder how much more ill health there will be in our family this year. It certainly is worrisome for all concerned.
Sorry to vent on you all but this was unexpected - she was coming over to be with me for a couple of weeks - while I was well enough to make some memories with her - in case - and now ....
Linda
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Linda, my heart goes out to you. People of strong faith often say life doesn't deal out more than a person can handle, but sometimes I wonder. Hoping for some bright spots in your life. Hugs.
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Linda - my heart goes out to you too. Life is so unfair at times. I will say prayers for your daughter, Gary and you.
Spar - there is always room for you around the fire! And that goes for you too Melissa - and any and all you wonderful women who make life bearable.
Lisa - thanks for the roses - they are beautiful - I can almost smell their sweet fragrance.
Love to one and all - may you have a very blessed day.
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Linda my heart goes out to you. You seem to have had blow after blow. I will keep you in my warmest thoughts and deepest prayers that you will find faith in abundance to help carry you through these trying times while you support your daughter and her loved one.
Hugs, Jackie
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Linda....you are doing a great job, cut yourself some slack, you really have to think of yourself.
I'm so sorry for your DD, having to carry this burden. Families, there always seems to be something going on, but yours seems to be having it bad. Its awful when a death happens on another family anniversary.
Our family almost always has a birth and some other family milestone together. Three of my 3 g/sons were born right next to other family b/days, and 2 of my g/daughters next to family deaths, and a 3rd g/son next to my wedding anniversary. My brothers and sisters kids also all fall next to something or other. Me, I just get confused wondering who's died and who's having a birthday! I have to get my b/day book out to remember the correct day now !
I am SO fed-up of winter, it is dark, raining and cold., and it isn't even 4pm yet. I have just put together a chicken casserole...this is a minor miracle because I don't usually cook... DH and I had words, quite a shouting match, and I know I went over the top !! I was moaning about being sick of my Arimidex symptoms, really having a pity party out loud. Then he reminded me it wasn't nice for him to have to live with me always moaning about pains here and pains there. I hadn't really thought of it before, from his point of view, so I am just feeling guilty now. So my guilt made me do a casserole, DHs favourite. Its just starting to cook now, and makes the kitchen smell lovely.
Just off to put the dogs to bed, all but 4 go out to sleep in kennels, I love them all around me, but some nights, especially winter nights, its nice to put them away, their coats always smell 'doggy' when they're in and out in the rain. They have centrally heated kennels, and nice warm fleece blankets, sometimes when I am feeling sorry for myself I could go curl up with them outside. I will sometimes have a little nap with them all in their beds infront of the fire (always just before I go for a shower !!) Love it, but don't love trying to hoist myself and my creaking bones, from floor level !!
My cleaner is coming in the morning, and I have to bite the bullet and tell her I don't want her to come anymore.....I am quaking. Last week did for me, she has an 11 month old baby, who's all but walking now, and pulling herself up on my furniture. Last Monday she pulled over a bucket of warm water on herself, no harm done to her except for a soaking, but it was on one of my Chinese rugs, and the colours have run, so its spoilt altogether for me, its consigned to the dogs quarters now. It cost me a lot of money. Then about a half hour later she ran the Dyson into some fringing on a silk throw, and ruined that, AND the Dyson won't run now. I haven't had time to look properly, but it could be completely broken when I do look A few weeks ago she stood a bucket of hot water on a coffee table, and left it there for 'over an hour' she says, anyway, the table's dead, great big white ring mark on it. Before that she broke a very old jar, in the shape of a Pekingese, I have had it about 50 years, and it was sold to me as Victorian then, thats irreplaceable. I have some old Chinese laquer furniture, and she knocked a great piece fron a table leg running the Dyson into it, just where it shows....so, all in all, she has to go. I keep thinking, and re thinking excuses, but now I think I will just say I cannot stand by any longer and watch her ruin my things without a care in the world. Apart from all the damage, she spends so long feeding and changing her child that she isn't doing what she is paid to. I think she see's it as a trip out, to a silly old bat who will put up with her !! I have tried and tried to keep her on, and turn a blind eye to the damage, as she's a single mother, and needs the cash, but she isn't damned well being fair !! Wish me luck tomorrow !!
Isabella.
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Jackie, Spar, Kathleen, Carol, Lisa and Linda- you guys keep me thinking of things to look forward to and things in my Life to be thankful for, Mandy I am fercely independent- my mom was changing her own oil and fuel pumps when I was 8 so that is the example I had, it is difficult for me to ask for help also, worse I beat myself up for asking - so it is a learning curve for me too.
Linda , oh my dear you have such a full plate and one small fort. I am a fixer and If I were there I would share your load. Sadly I am NOT- and I am sure the others would take a small peice each to lighten your load. I will keep you and yours in my prayers-as I did last night when I read this before going to bed. 2009 has been rough for a bunch of us and I think we should give it the BOOT!
lET'S MEET TO NIGHT TO MAKE SMORES AREOUND THE FIRE!
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Kathleen,
Is that your little dog in your avatar? It's so cute -- what kind of dog is it? DH and I have been trying to choose between getting a little dog or another cat, but can't seem to agree. I want a little dog and my husband wants another cat (we have 2 that are old). I love animals and would be happy to get one of each, but can't convince DH -- LOL.
Isabella -- your life is amazing and I love the way you describe things. I agree with you about getting tired of the rain -- we are in Oregon and it rains off and on for 6 months most years. It's a beautiful place, though.
Pam -- your small Florida town, climate, etc. sounds very quaint and peaceful.
Melissa -- I'm with you in liking animals better than most people!
Is anyone on this thread still working? I'm working part-time and thinking very hard about retiring in the next couple of months (I'm 62) because work just wears me out by the end of every week. My energy is definitely not what it was before BC and neck surgery.
Take care, everyone and have a wonderful weekend.
Bonnie
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Isabella, be strong and tell her she is not needed anymore, she has cost you a lot in priceless items. When does winter end where you are? It hasn't even started here in Okla.
Linda, you have been through so much, wish we ladies could help lighten your load.
Melissa, at least animals are loyal and you know where you stand, it is so hurtful to think someone is a friend and then one day you find out they have just been pretending and didn't even like you. That happend to me last night.
Pam, where you live does sound so peaceful, you are blessed
Bonnie, I retired in 2007 and never looked back, my husbands business closed down and moved overseas (bridgestone/firestone) so he retired. We don't have near as much money but we have a simple happy blessed life.
I love sitting around the fire and I love smores so I will be right there eating my diabetic heart out.
Hope you all have a wonderful day. I won't be able to get on the computer much because I have grandkids all weekend.
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Bonnie so funny you would ask about retirement: here is where I am at and where I am going: one full-time job as infection control nurse for the county wide fire depart. 1000 FF, 29 in town stations and 13 outlaying stations- have a county car to get around. One part-time joib in the pediatric ER- usually 3 days a month, plus I am very involved in 2 non-profits, one is State wide and I am the chairperson. That was all before BC. (go to SNICNV.ORG AND HELPINGKIDSCLINIC.ORG TO VIEW NON PROFIT STUFF)
Where I am headed-after bil-mx on 10.19.09
taking the full six weeks for recovery- I thought I would only take 3 weeks tops (That was the crazy Melissa), QUITTING PEDS ER!, Chair-ship ends in March and when the other non-profit collects their stuff I am done with them too. I prayed hard for husband to get laid off as we bought a farmhouse in MO. 2 years ago and I need to go. FINALLY they laid him off, starts 2/14/10 and I am retiring the end of april 2010 at 56 y/o- with one hitch; i am afraid to let my nursing liscence expire ( most states make you go back to school if you want to renew; to which I say HELL NO!) so I will work 2 days a week until I am 60-so semi-retired and will be 57 in may.THIS IS TIME FOR ME AND MY HUBBY/
CAN"T WAIT
Spar so sorry to hear your "friend" was NOT! Yes no matter how experienced we are this still hurts to the bone.My I take their place? LOVE YA"\'LL
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Just popping in to say hi.
I too took early retirement and don't regret it on bit. Have written one text book - I was a teacher and now have several other writing offers and am going to be doing some editing so with that, a playgroup at church and other church things and a beautiful granddaughter I am enjoying my life. Now we just have to get DH right and he has cut down his hours we can start doing things we want too. Our combined income has almost halved but we are managing just fine. The odd day teaching brings in some extra cash but often I just say no as I have more important things to do like meeting friends which I haven't done for years.
Linda big hugs, you certainly need it at present. You are in my prayers.
Virginia you just have to tell your cleaner to go, I had too at a point last year. Don't throw out your table, water marks can be rectified, get someone to look at it.
Must go and get dressed as we have a busy Saturday ahead of us, DH has a meeting and my sister and I are going on a Church outing, then DH and I are having dinner with friends we haven't seen in ages.
Big hugs to all
Alyson
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(((hugs))) to you Linda.
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I've been reading your posts for awile and thought I would stop in and say hello. I've started medicare this month in the middle of this breast cancer thing. Hope the bills still get paid. Will see a second oncologist on Monday to find out if I need Chemo or can go straight to radiation.
I'm retired too and usually spend my winters in NC but guess I'll be in the cold northeast this year.
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Our weather was beautiful today. We treasure these sunny, mild days with low humidity. Goodness knows we deserve them after suffering through the sultry summers.
I've been retired since 2000. Dh retired at the end of 2003 or 2004. Can't remember. He said ahead of time that he figured he would need to get a part-time job because he would have too much time on his hands. HA HA. No part-time job. He doesn't have time for one! He's a golfaholic, too, like I am, but he plays with guys and I play with the ladies. He also has a well-equipped woodworking shop and usually has a project going. Currently he's building an adorable doll cradle for a gift to a great-niece recently born. We keep up our own yard, which is 2 acres, and I, theoretically, do the housekeeping but I won't be winning any awards. I do keep up with the laundry. AND I IRON!
Wishing everyone a good weekend.
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Hi Everyone,
It just seems as if the longer we live the more sorrow we must endure. Linda, your family is having more than its share. I hope you can find the strength to make it through this difficult time.
I don't know how the young women with jobs and children make it through this cancer journey. We oldie goldies are lucky that our responsibilities are tapering off to allow us to focus on our health but maybe it allows us to focus too much on ourselves. There are times it would be good for me to have more of a distraction.
Retirement is wonderful. But it is the classic case... how did I ever get anything done when I worked? I was ever so much more productive when I worked.
Isabelle reminds me of family friends who had a long-time maid. As she got older her work became less and less satisfactory but they did not want to hurt her feelings. So they hired a second maid to come on a different day to really clean and kept it a secret from the old maid. She never knew!
Happy weekend to all... not that it makes a difference to us retirees.
Pam
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