Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Good evening all,
My --- lots being said and I don't know if I can take it all in. I only work two days a week and feel I simply must do it. I feed feral cats around town, and as well have 21 here at my house along with 6 dogs....last two dogs....Molly is very cross-eyed but such a lovely, happy, playful dog and Teeny had a fractured front leg. Was going to keep her temporarily til' she healed and then Humane Society would place her. This would be easy if Dh had not become totally smitten with her.....she has a permanent residence. Thank goodness we are full up. I was about to have to find another part-timer for the up-keep on all the beauties that live with me.
Isabella....by letting your cleaning person go you might be able to teach her something. Since you have been so kind she has started to abuse a position where one should be able to have mutual trust and understanding. I was a cleaning person for years....and if I broke anything I payed for it. I had to be just as responsible for someone else's things as I would be with the precious things in my home. One must not take advantage of the other in this relationship. We have to remember..."Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you". She has been far too careless and one should never bring babies or pets with them when they are being paid to "work". It is not fair to anyone. Like you I have a very soft heart and very forgiving, and it is difficult to tell someone they must go. Hopefully, in a short while you will be able to know inside and out that it was the right thing.
Spar....I am sorry as well to hear that a friendship is lost. Sometimes it is friends --- once in awhile maybe even some family which I lost. After the first few shock-waves settled down I came to see things had come round to what they should be. Even now I can feel so comfortable that I don't have to spend much time with these family members who always had a face. After it all happened I got to thinking of the years I had spent feeling a strange discomforting feeling and trying to blame it on myself only to discover that even those who you should have a strong relationslhip with and lots of mutual love and trust may not be what they "present" to you. I now feel fortunate that it was all **revealed to me** and so enjoy the feeling of lightness and ease. They are family and I forgive them, but I don't have to go for the over-exposure there always was before. I can see them on occasion and feel not a shred of wrong-doing for keeping them at general arms length. No one is required to spend time with anyone who is hurtful, sly, and has un-clear motives for what they do.
Ok....I am getting far too opinionated and wordy on that subject -- it works for me but might not for some.
Melissa, Spar, Kathleen, Isabella, Carole, Pam,Alyson, Linda, Lisa, Jo....well, you are all very special women and I'm sure I've left some out...like Helen who has not been here for a visit for awhile. I did see HRF and hi to you.
webstertoo, we are glad you stopped in. This is a very nice bunch of ladies and we do try to keep each other propped up. It is or can be a difficult journey in ways and as noted....it is a time in life where you not only might be losing some of your health and hair, but friends or family too.....perspectives change......hopefully, mine got deeper and better and of course are still helping me define what is really important and what is not. I'm just glad that I am here and just hopeful that I can keep right on loving people and animals and doing the best I can everyday and when I don't do so good.....well, I'll just have to dust me and my feelings off and do better.
I'm starving everyone and need to go find something to fill me up for awhile. I hope you have all had a beauty of a day. Just remember to smile...it makes people wonder what you have been up to.
Hugs, Jackie
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So, what does it take to move this thread to 100 pages. Maybe mine!
You all make me very jealous. I still work full-time. Age 60 and single I don't have much of a choice although I'm really not ready to come out of the workforce. I also really enjoy my job and now that my son, who has a disability which precludes driving, is working at the company where I work, I may as well continue since I have to drive him anyway.
Toying with the idea of coming out in 2 years but may go all the way to full retirement at 66. That would give me 6 years out from dx and I really need to keep my excellent med coverage (as long as the company offers it). Don't know how far Medicare would cover me or what the "Part..." would cost for extra coverage. So, I'm staying put for now and will live my exciting life through you ladies.
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I am allergic to chocolate and strawberries. Who is gonna offer a bid for "my share"... maybe I can get an almond torte instead...
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I guess this last post still didn't take us to page # 100.
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Nope! (allergic to chocolate and strawberries - you poor dear!)
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Apparently my body had more than its fair share by the time I was 25 years old. Add allergy to egg whites, so lemon meringue pie and macaroons are out. There is still plenty out there to keep my gut and thunder thighs !!!
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Harray! You did it - 100 pages.
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Allergic to chocolate and strawberries- man you should have gotten a pass on all of lifes other "bad" stuff, geeze that sucks!
Don't even get me started on family members and being awkward or strange, worried,or weird- we lost my eldest sister 11 months to the day that we lost my mom- that was so crushing to me that I firgured that none of my remaining sisters would ever alienate the others. WRONG- the baby (my heart!) shut us out for 6 years. shoot we don't even know what we did. personally I don't think we did anything- I think it is all in her strange little head. So she breaks my heart with 6 years of silence and then COMES TO- don't ask me what happened. I can tell you one thing tho- I would never give up because losing one sib nearly killed me and I will never lose another one. (I mean by choice). I would go visit, call, write cards, leave messages- all with no return if you get my meaning BUT never say die! I kept trying- after all I taught her the "Kissing game" as a baby.
I am trying a cleaning service next week for a good spring cleaning and plan to keep then through the holidays- then they get the boot- nothing personal.
Ladies what dose DH mean, darn husband, damn husband, dear husband???What?
Patoo-love your signature the prayer thing- how very nice! Welcome webester and Jackie you must be MY kinda gal- boy we used to say my mothers' house had a mark on it for stray animals and we fed them all, adopted them on the family got one more "person" bigger.Did you see on the BBC news OddBox (my favorite Friday night feature) that an English bulldog gave birth to 21 puppies- and cute!
well got a go, good night ladies, I am cooking smores!
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Melissa,
I think DH has different definitions for different women... or even for the same woman at different moments.
Pam
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All ladies after my own heart! I have always loved animals better than people. At one point I was up to 10 cats and 2 dogs and people I thought I went to excess - now I see I was just an amaeuture! I have often thought of opening a sanctuary if I won the lottery. I worked for PETA at their animal sanctuary so I know the work involved. I have thought it through - located outside of any city limits, nearby vet school (free help and medical care), enough acreage so that I never haved to work about neighbors' complaints (dogs barking, etc.), certified as a non-profit to take in contributions and allow for volunteers, etc. Its hard work and I know I am not physically up to it therefore volunteers. We would have plenty of tours of school children to give each animal lots of love and I would build a barracks for interns to stay (with automatic bed warmers (cats and dogs).
Can you tell I've given this some thought?
Spar - anyone who would lose you as a friend has, indeed, lost a true treasure. Know that you have tons of friends here who appreciate you and all you give.
As for retiring - I got laid off 18 months ago and have not worked since - its not bad but no money coming in! I am going to try for social security disability (not for breast cancer but for diabetes, moderate to severe neuropathy, cervical and spinal stenosis, and on and on and on.
Isabella - you have a good heart to put up with your cleaning lady's shannigans. Its way past time to let her go. Also, you have every right to complain but I know what you mean - nobody wants to hear it and then they act like you are yourself again so you have to remind them you are not. Besides, I DO NOT suffer in silence.
Nancy - my grandmother used to make gingerbread and right out of thed oven pour hot lemon pudding over it - you could still have the taste of lemon meringue pie without the meringue.
Pam is absolutely right about "DH."
Melissa - know what you mean about family and friends - I have decided (finally at age 62) that the only person I can change is me - so I am working on that and leaving everybody else alone!
I have already forgotten what everyone said so I will close for now. Love and Prayers to all.
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Pj, I like the DH thing and what great flexibility- mine own true love is ALL and yet at times only one of those descriptions...in the same day, hour, conversation!
Kathleen you are so right- can't change others- the baby called once to find out what my final pathology is- left a message and that's it- yet I will never stop loving her even if I have to keep some distance. My new saying is "Now that I have lost my double D's maybe I will work on my personality"LOL must have a sense of humor! Kathleen, may I ask you if you had further treatment after surgery- PM me if you like- both my BS and my med onc said I needed nothing further. Hey do you have your grandmothers recipe? It sounds so scrumptious I could put on an apron right now! Good luck with the SSI! Hope you are successful!
We have the 2 Pekes now but the minute we get to Missouri we are looking for 2 Swiss Mtn. dogs- they are work dogs so we will be training them to pull a small wagon with the Pekes in it-- can't you just see King Eddie in the wagon bossing the BIG dogs around? Plus they can help with the hauling of wood as their bred states they need a "job" . and All of this the the DH's job---LOL, he always says "you hypnotize every dog we get". I have a secret formula, Pay attention to them.
My goal today is two 1 mile walks and then I am DRIVING for the 1st time since surgery- have not used narcs forever, so I just need to go slow and allow time-I think.
Wish me luck- and have a physically and emotionally pain free day. Linda , special prayers for you and yours- actually that includes all of you but she needs an extra "spoonful of sugar"!
Love ya, Melissa
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Hi All,
I needed to come here and log in... it is lunch time and I am starving. Have already eaten my lunch allotment and still hungry! So I need a diversion here.
I should be outdoors in the yard away from the kitchen! Absolutely the best weather right now. Sunny and mild, hi around 80. Sounds special but it looks like the whole country is experiencing Indian summer.
Spar, I am sorry your friend disappointed you. Having breast cancer certainly makes one reevaluate relationships. Some people are just not worth it. Why does that continue to surprise us? I have drifted away from some people, even relatives. I am not angry with them, just finally recognized how one-sided our relationships were and I stopped putting 90% in to them. I wonder what they think happened. I am sure they think BC has turned me into a self-centered so and so.
I find that so amusing and feel no guilt at all. Should have been this mature before BC!Pam
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Hey ladies, this is great! I'm a golden girl,65 with a ton of kids grandkids and great grand. DX &/10/09 ERPR- Her2+++ high grade idc. & dcis, dbl mas. on 8/18/09 SNB on both sides, cancer on left breast. 1node positive on leftside 27 nodes removed on left. SNB negative on right side. Stage IIa . Starting TCH on Nov.17th, 09. Scared to death. Golden Girls, i'm really glad to meet you all. I am on the November Warriors chemo board. Iam glad your here too.
kmccraw243, you got that one right sister. It seems that most BC surgeons are male. I had two really great young guys for my surgery they were so nice and said I should be ready to go home after two days in hosp. I didnt feel ready so asked a young female doc why I wasnt doing as well because I didnt feel like I could go home she said are you kidding me the docs are great but they dont have breasts, or BC, or dbl. mast. or 4 drains etc. Anyway you girls are right, there are many issues that we , as golden girls, face that younger girls dont necessarily relate to. I feel so bad for the youngsters cause they still have young kids and they are in their prime etc and trying to deal with work children husbands, surgeries and chemo. We all have our own set of problems. I worry about my being able to get thru dense dose chemo at my age. I really didn't want to do chemo but my family is on me like flies on coyote poop!! I hope my stamina holds up cause I feel like the surgery was a walk in the park, that is compared to TCH, its the chemo that is screwing up my serenity!! The picture of me emptying my guts from both ends, as my daughter and 2 grandkids that live with me watch, is unbearable to me. I dont know where I can hide in the house so that the spectacle of old nani, who is hardly ever sick and always a rock, doesnt ruin all our lives.
Keep this thread going and hopefully the moderators will give us a forum. Talk to you soon sisters. BTW to the sister whose husband made that awful awful remark about taking off other body parts, thats exactly why i'm not with a man and don't plan on ever being in that position again for as long as I live and I believe another sister confirmed!! For all the sisters who have good men, I'm so extremely happy for you all, cause it's so hard to find a good man!!!
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Oh Pam....you said it best. I was thinking many in my family saw me as hard-hearted, nearly cruel because I don't fall all over some of my family members. I finally realized ( more mature Pam...) that when you are going to act just like anybody...you are going to get treated like anybody. I did my level best for 35 years......and what did I get for my troubles --- someone who told horrid VERY self-serving lies to gain the attention of some of the more well-off family. She is family, and I forgive her, but I have absolutely no obligation to turn the other cheek. The good Lord said "shake the dust from your feet" which meant to me that it does not matter who is doing you wrong -- give them their space and go on to someone who can appreciate and love you w/o strings or strange demands. I want to live in, enjoy, and try to make my little corner of this planet a little nicer, gentler, kinder, and more loving. So, that means making choices.....which I should have made so long ago but I did not want to be seen as making harsh judgements --- but you see now, the end result is the same -- except I'm so much happier and feel the freedom of not having to continue to pretend that all is perfect.
ccnani....wonderful that you found us. Thankfully, we are a forum so you won't have to look too hard to find us. I think it's under "Older women with Breast Cancer". I put it in my favorites list so when I get on the Internet I click in from there. Yes, lots of men take care of us so do have difficulty now and then "getting" where we are. Some do have wonderful Doc's who are men and work well with them...but I do think like good husbands they are somewhat rare.
As far as chemo....some women do quite well and have few side effects or se's. I was not one of those but was on a thread where several had few complaints. You sound like you have a huge amt. of strength and hopefully you will do ok. Just think of it this way....the good Lord provided the ways and means to have a disease like this and make it through. It may entail things we would like not to have to do, but you are working to help save your own life. Those who love you and have depended on you may have to see another side for a time, but this does not last forever. You will be back after slaying a monster who could take you from your loved ones so you have to do what you have to do. Try not to assume the worst because you may not have it and you will have invested a lot of un-needed stress. There are good medications ( didn't used to be ) for all the se's so you more than likely won't have to be a spectacle or ruin your image. This is however, your time. You need to be selfish enough to do what it takes to get yourself well again.
Please come back often -- someone is always here listening and just waiting to help with a problem, be a good listener, or just a cheery...thinking about all of you happy note. We are our sisters keepers.
By the way...you are all the greatest!!!!
Hugs, Jackie
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I have just been sat transfixed 2 hours, watching the Service of Rememberance on TV. I usually do watch it, but this year it was a slightly different format. I thought I wouldn't like it as it started, being a bit of a traditionalist, but was a good watch, and somehow seemed to get to me, with the war going on at this actual moment in Afghanistan. I sort of lost it when they brought out 10 ( mainy young ) newly widowed women, and in the background ran one of their wedding videos...I know NO WAY could I have got up in front of the nation for all to see. Then they wheeled out the service men with limbs missing, some lads of 19 and 20, it really brings it into your home that young men and women can actually go off and face this sort of thing daily....if they called me up I'd be wanting to make cups of tea ! I am just in awe of these who serve our nations.
My cleaner didn't show today, I was all psyched up, and I got a no show ! She sent a message her child had Swine 'flu...funny thing is the same child had Swine 'flu about a month ago (not) !!!!! must've forgotten she'd used this excuse already with me. I just want her gone now, and someone more careful in her place.
I am having a wall pulled out in my kitchen 1st week in December, so don't really want anyone until the builders have been and gone. I painted all my kitchen doors about 2 months ago, THEN decide to double the size of my kitchen . I have gone about the whole thing back to front ! I have a large room next to the kitchen that is just stood there, all I have in it is my pc, and loads of spare furniture. Its just wasted space really, and as I have to walk thru it everytime I go into my conservatory...which is loads of times a day, I use the conservatory a lot, I was getting fed up of seeing the pile of junk getting bigger and more unsightly by the day. I have booked the builder, and the electrician and plumber, but if I didn't have them the 1st week in December, it would be going on March before I could get everyone together again at the same time...so a really excellent excuse NOT to do Christmas at my house.
Weather is still foul, rain and wind, and very cold. Can't get any outside jobs done now. (Someone asked me how long the rain will last here. Can't say, sometimes we get a really wet Nov. and sometimes it is lovely and fresh and golden, sometimes it will rain more days than not right thru 'til April, sometimes it can be a reasonably dry right the way thru 'til Spring, but its usually the wet stuff we get most of !)
I have a 'little man' who comes and does odd jobs on an as and when basis. He has now been 3 weeks trying to get me a large doorstep built of stone flagging outside my back door. I am fed up of having flagstones, and bags of sand parked in my way waiting for some dry weather. It looks so untidy, as the cats use the bags of sand for a toilet !!!! The smell of cat pee in a morning is not nice. Cats don't give a damn, and think its cat heaven ! It makes a change from them sitting on my car, which I usually leave outside all summer. They sometimes pee on the windscreen wipers, and it trickles down into the engine, then comes smelling up thru the air con. system.....always seems to happen when I am dressed up and going somewhere... eau de chat is NOT NICE. DH found 4 kittens in the bales of straw yesterday, about a month old. OMG another 4 flippin' cats to feed ! I THINK there are 20 farm cats now, without more, all coming up to the house to feed twice a day....AND pee !!! (I only give them one feed of cat food on a morning, at teatime its scraps, dog biscuits,stale bread and broken eggs all mushed up ) I had a visitor today who remarked how well my cats looked, farm cats aren't known for looking in the pink of health. Half of mine you can pick up, and the other half are pretty well wild.
Shower and bed are calling me.
Isabella.
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well, our kitchen is taking shape..
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It looks lovely. You must be very pleased.
Pam
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thanks..lots more to do..but coming to the end
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Melissa - my breast surgeon and oncologist said that with the double mastectomy I would not need anything further. So I dodged the chemo/rad bullet. Of course, I had a bleed in the recovery room, had to go back to surgery and a month later back in surgery to remove the tissue expanders due to infections! So I didn't skate scot-free.
Jackie - it is strange that you say your family thought you hard hearted and even cruel - mine does too. I guess we are reserved which cause others to think we don't care when nothing could be further from the truth.
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Welcome Ccnani and let me tell you a story first off I took care of my mother 41 years ago when she had a radical mx- really nasty surgery, I was 15 years old. I changed her bandages starting day 5 after surgery. She was Back at work- OMG when I think about that, how did she do it???
Then at 50 (7 years later) she was dx'ed with stomach cancer. I lived in another city at the time and had traveled home with one suitcase for her exploratory surgery- they just sewed her closed and said you have 3 months to live,I lived out of the suitcase for 9 months., she lived quite a lot longer than any 3 months, I can tell you that! She took chemo- I was very close to her and took all of her suffering very hard but the message is IT WAS AN HONORTO CARE FOR THIS WOMAN WHO HAD SET SUCH A LOVING, GIVING AND STRONG EXAMPLE FOR ME. She used to say " I am not suffering, the little children in Biafra are suffering, they never get a full meal" and then there was "The chemo I take will help people in the future have an easier time of it" And I think that is true, (I think that now , at the time it killed me). Your family will feel the same if you have off days and you will not lose your image. My nephews still remember my mom as I am the spitting image of her physically- they cry when they look at me so there was NO WAY I was telling them I had cancer until I had most of the plan in place and I was very very lucky and am cancer free following my bil mx.
Jackie said it is your time and I have had to learn that in the last few weeks too. You sound as if you are a very giving woman and now it is time to take care of you- remember you can't be there for anyone, if you don't take care of yourself. Just remember how important you are to them-
Jackie I have had to "shake the dust from my feet" more than once and that is just the way it is. If you can't get along with them, then I say get along without them, move on, don't look back, Someday maybe they will think about why I moved on and maybe not. People treat us the way we allow them to treat us. I have worked with some very arrogant doctors (not all docs) and they learn quickly they get from me what they give me.
Isabella, I love your stories, sand bags and cat pee and endless rain, cleaning woman who can't clean and children with the swine flu twice! Love it - wish I could have tea with you - I mean across the table from you. And yes the poor youngsters who are suffering the effects of war- terrible and sad. My husband is retired from the Navy, Vietnam vet. I was a hospital corpsman but was never in danger.
Got ta go ladies, nighty night. May you have a physically and emotionally painless day. Love ya!
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Bonnie - I just went back and I knew I had missed someone!. Yes, that is one of two sisters we have - they are coton der turlears. They are sweet and loving and dumb as posts. I think they are bred to look cute, which they do really well. My sister purchased them - I like a slightly bigger dog, with fur and not hair (they have to be groomed every 6 weeks at $60 each. They need to be brushed almost every day (neither of which tolerates it well). I love them to pieces but they would not have been my first choice - I would have gone to the nearest shelter and save one.
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Kathleen, I dodged the chemo/rad bullet too with a bil mx.
Lisa The kitchen looks great!
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Melissa...my DH and I are also Navy veterans..my husband is Navy Retired also and a Vietnam vet..I was just Vietnam era vet...I was stateside..
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Kathleen -- your dog in the picture is really cute even if she is dumb as a post!! The frequent grooming sounds like a pain and it's expensive, but at least your dogs don't shed. We've looked at all different kinds of small dogs, including shelter dogs and are almost ready to throw in the towel and get a kitten instead. DH likes cats and is convinced he would be a bad dog owner -- I don't really know what he means by that, but my guess is that he would just rather have another cat -- LOL. Thanks for the info!
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Don't get me wrong - we are grateful they aren't high on the intelligence scale - otherwise they would have figured out how to get out of their yard, climb the steps to get into their favorite delicacy - cat poop and who knows what else they would think of - my other sister has a fenced in pen in the back when they visit - its a large pen. They whine but have never gotten out. Meanwhile a friend of hers who has a Carin Terrier figured it out in 30 seconds! He went into the man-made lake in the back - twice - and had to be thoroughly washed twice as he smelled to high heaven!
I love cats too and to find a man secure enough not to want a subserviant dog but prefers cats is a treasure! I have always said it takes about 6-8 cats to get the same amount of affection as one dog.
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Good morning everyone.
Melissa....I was so moved with the story of your mother and how you spoke about being with her. I too had the privilege and believe me it was, of sharing my mothers final days with her and holding her hand while she crossed to the other side. I was reminded during the story that my mother too never felt sorry for herself, never truly complained, and was always a giver, never really a taker. She could stand up for herself quite well and she had a line you did not want to cross, but she worked so very hard all of her life with no complaints. I knew the time was near though when she said ( the first time I ever heard those words from her ) I have suffered and it is time for me to go. I've had a wonderful life and did everything I ever wanted too and now I'm tired and am ready to go. A few short hours later she was gone. She was a special lady, wonderful teacher and fantastic mother. I miss her every day but have learned to do so in a happy appreciative way. She taught me so much in life ( probably why I'm not a good complainer myself ) and then she taught me how to let go with dignity when the right time comes. She was a poor country scrub woman ( whose hands always showed it ) and who didn't get her GED until long after she had grandkids, but what a woman and my gosh what a lady. And to this day it is my honor to call her Mother. I loved my Dad just as much. He was a pretty good match for my mom and I learned a lot from him as well. I'll always miss them both, but I know where they are so I know we haven't seen the last of one another.
Lisa....I'm moving in with you -- can you give me a week. I love your kitchen. I like clean lines, no clutter, light on decorations. Looks just like my dream kitchen.....and at this rate, it may stay a dream for me. Well, if I don't get around to it, I'll at least be able to enjoy knowing someone who did. You did a beautiful job.
Bonnie....check out Maltese dogs...aren't they somewhat non-shedding. My Bishon-Poo doesn't really lose hair and my groomer doesn't charge much -- about $25.00 but he does need brushing every two or three days which I don't do. His hair during winter comes up through his toes so he looks like he has big fluffy house-shoes on, along with a housecoat --- all tight curls on his body that will mat up. I love him dearly anyway. He is a sweet-mainly good natured dog and smiles a lot.
I am former Army Corpsman from VietNam era....in the states. Seems like such a long time ago now. I am so proud of our military men, but war is a terrible, terrible thing. Reminded of that so much with the very recent events at Ft. Hood. I'm saying a special pray for peace.
It is a terrific Indian summer day here and we are going to do yard cleaning in shirt sleeves. Let the fun begin. Hope you all have a glorious Sunday. Hi to all who haven't been here for a while. Jo, Rita, Mom of 7.....
Checking back later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie,
What a fine tribute to your mom. How proud she would be to read those words.
Pam
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Lisa, your kitchen is beautiful! Do you like to cook?
Were the rest of you BMX ladies as clueless as I was when you chose your surgery option? When I was dx'ed, my tumor was very small. I was given the lumpectomy option, but I opted for BMX because dh and I both erroneously believed that I could skip rads and chemo if no nodes were positive. Like the rest of the world out there, we also thought there would be zero chance of recurrence. Then I learned about the oncotype dx and waited 2 anxious weeks for the results once the tumor sample was sent off. If my no. had come back in the intermediate range, my bc dr. would have wanted me to do 4 rounds of chemo. In the high range, the heavy-duty chemo. I also thought with BMX, no mammograms ever again. WRONG! I'm supposed to go for one last mammogram to give a baseline picture of the underarms. BECAUSE with BMX there can be recurrence on the chest wall or underarms. I'm to have ultrasound screening every 6 mos.
I run into people all the time who ask, "Did they catch your bc early? Oh, that's wonderful. You have no worries." I just smile and say I'm grateful for modern technology. Non-bc survivors don't have a clue unless they happen to have a family member or good friend who is one of us.
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Shame on me for posting twice so soon, but I found this ( I put quotes on Rita's thread every day and love doing it ) and thought it covers well some of our most recent conversations...especially about shaking the dust from ones feet.
You do not have the right to quit trying. (The universe wobbles when you do.) You have the right to quit Toxic People. (They're contagious.) ~Dr. SunWolf
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Good AM Carole,
I thought just like you did and asked for BMX. My surgeon discouraged that idea and spent a good hour explaining why lumpectomy was his recommendation. I decided BMX would be my back up plan that I hope I do not have to go to. I am embarrassed to admit I found RT very stressful, not physically but mentally... so maybe I would have been better if I could have skipped it. Seems like decisions get made and you don't know enough in advance and then you just have to go with the flow.
I now know I am ever so much more afraid of mets than another little ole lump in a breast! I guess it is all relative.
Pam
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