NOLA in September?
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Hello All, I'm posting my date for NOLA. I'm scheduled for Stage I bilateral delayed SGAP on June 14 at NOLA with Dr. D. I'm hoping to stay at Homewood Suites if I can swing it financially. Does your travel partner stay with you at the hospital while you are there, or do they stay at the hotel? I'm tryng to figure out how many days I need to make the reservation for. Also, on airline flights, has anyone ever had to delay their flight going home due to complications from the procedure?
Very Excited!
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Minnesota and PlainJane, thank you for what you posted about your fears/grief etc. I am in the middle of arranging bilateral DIEP with prophy mast on the non-cancer side (the cancer side is long gone!) and I keep having all kinds of thoughts, reservations, fears, second-guessing going on about it. My onc estimates my chance of getting bc in the other breast at approximately 30%, which is way too high for me to be comfortable with. What helped me enormously with my decision was something a good friend said. I told her I was afraid NOT to have the surgery (fear of a new cancer) but also afraid TO have the surgery (fear of the surgery itself). She pointed out that if I didn't have the surgery I'd have to live with the fear for the rest of my life but if I had it, I'd only have to live with the fear UNTIL I HAD THE SURGERY. She's right - I can't spend the rest of my life in fear.
I have my first consult with the PS in about 10 days.
Leah
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Melinda~ Keep you chin up and keep going......just know that you are doing what you feel is best for you ((bighugs))
Minn.~ I only can offer you my hope that you come to peace with your decision.
All this talk about breaking down makes me worry that I will after stage 2 but also makes me feel like if it happens I will know it's normal. I had one prior to losing my implant. I had an exposed implant BUT I refused to call the hospital. I refused and sat on the phone boo hooing to my sister until she called the doctor. I couldn't even speak to him about my implant situation.
Still pampering my J-lo
The fluid can leave now.... On a positive note I found a pair of jeans that had a little bit of stretch to them that I can wear. So when I went out with the girls last night I felt like I looked good and not frumpy in my yoga pants. I also noticed yesterday that originally just out of surgery I had a hard spot almost near my armpit and it is gone 
No I just can't wait to be finished with Stage 2 and on my way to my tatoo's. So I guess I will not have a chance to meet Lanita
She helped me so much to get things ready for my surgery.... 0 -
Shay, welcome, I added you to the listing above like this:
Jun 14 - ShayT - Stage 1 delayed bilateral SGAP, Dr. D., NOLA
Ladies, I posted my question last June, 2009 above to see if I could find anybody that would be in NOLA in Sept 2009 when I had my Stage 1. Now, Shay is having her surgery in June 2010!!!
A lot has happened in this last 8 months!
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Shay t I was told by Katie that they have a murphy bed at the hospital so your caregiver can stay with you if you want.Hope this helps
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Nordy just reading your post makes me feel better.. your husband is very lucky .. I cant wait to meet you.. You just seem to say the right thing at the right time thanks
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Okay, this is going to seem off-topic for a bit....I've been seeing a nutritionist for about two months, and she has helped me so much, as I've switched from three large meals a day to five or six smaller ones. She encouraged me to find a boot camp, and through my search for that, I found an amazing personal trainer who conducts private workouts and boot camps at the park on Saturdays. Between these two ladies, I am thriving in my efforts to eat better and get fit. Now that I have the hang of the smaller more frequent "feedings" as my nutritionist calls them, I didn't think I really needed to go to my appointment with Diana on Thursday night, but ended up heading over to her office thinking it might be my last appointment--what else do I really need to know now? Well, keep reading....
She drew a diagram of the neurological pathways in our brains and showed me that this is the progression:
Thoughts------->Feelings------>Behavior------->Results
She said that every single thought we think evokes a feeling. That is really astounding to contemplate. She explained that most people who try to lose weight only go so far as to change their behavior, and they may get immediate results, but they relapse because they don't treat the underlying cause, which are the thoughts that we allow ourselves. Studies show that 87% of our thoughts are fearful ones, and our fears are really just made up. We aren't afraid of the earthquake that happened 12 years ago, and the overwhelming majority of our fears for the future never come to fruition, yet they can paralyze us in many areas of our lives. It was really weird for me to consider that my fears are just made up things, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I told her how I hate flying but have had to do a lot of it the past couple of years because of my multiple surgeries in NOLA, and how I medicate myself with Xanax so I can not feel my fear so much. We agreed that the Xanax is not making the plane ride safer, and she wants me to get to the point where I fly without taking it. Then I told her that a huge issue for me the past few months has been that my youngest child plans to join the Army in June, and I am so afraid for his life and of losing him that I can hardly look at him. My husband and I have been trying to convince him to join the Air Force or Navy if he must enter the military. David is insistent that he will be in the Army within two months of graduating high school, and when I assessed my feelings honestly, I realized that I have been angry with him because he will not budge on his plans. Diana told me that I have ignored all of the positives my son will gain. She reminded me that he will come back a man, with a lot to offer his future wife. He will learn a trade, and will mature in many ways. She said that I should be feeling so much pride for this boy who wants to be honorable and serve his country. I realized that I've been doing my son a huge disservice by trying to convince him to do otherwise than to follow his dream, and I've been damaging the few months I have left with him before he leaves. He wants and needs our support, not our disapproval. So, I left my appointment knowing that David was going to be a much happier kid that night after I asked him to forgive me for my lack of support and just being downright mean about his aspirations. I did lay it all out for him, and we ended up holding each other, both of us in tears, yet feeling better about the future.
Yesterday morning, I shared this with the friend we walk with in the park each morning. She lost her 18 year old son in a car accident about 25 years ago. The family was heading to Palm Springs for a weekend of fun, and that son did not want to go, but they were afraid to leave him home alone. A car carrier truck fell off a freeway overpass onto their car, and he was killed instantly. He was within arm's reach, yet she was unable to save him. She told me that even if I could convince my son to stay home with us, tragedy could still befall him.
Diana told me that when we are able to change our thoughts to positive thoughts which evoke positive feelings, great behavior and happy results, life drastically changes for the better. She has seen people struggling with weight loss suddenly drop 20 pounds when their cortisol (stress hormone) level drops--which is what happened when they let go of irrational fears and changed the way they thought.
I have always been considered an optimist and I would have agreed with that assessment until I looked at how I've been behaving and how I've allowed fearful thoughts to pervade my life in many ways. I feel a lot of stress and pressure, and much of it comes from fear of tax audits, employee issues, etc.
I'm amazed that all of this comes from seeing a nutritionist of all people! Diana said we'll be working on helping me change my thoughts for my next few sessions, and here I thought I was done with her.
I know this is a long way around saying it, but for those of you feeling fear, try to feel proud of yourselves for making the very best of decisions you can possibly make and having the courage to make your appointments and prepare for your surgeries. We really are tough chicks and we are strengthened through these journeys we are on. You will get to the other side soon, where you will feel relief, gratitude and peace. You have to kill the ANTS---automatic negative thoughts.
Okay, lecture over! I have just been so moved by this that I had to share.
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MURPHY BED at St Charles - Yes, there is a pull-down, twin sized Murphy bed for one support person. It is only marginally comfortable, but it does the job. There is one problem, and that is the room designers put a bright spot light directly above the sleeper's face. An eye mask is very helpful (for both the patient and the support person), since those room lights get flipped on in the middle of the night enough times. The hospital also includes meals for this support person. There is a shower in the room, which the support person is permitted to use, as well.0
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Sandy, thank you. It certainly gives me "food for thought"!
For those asking about the wheelchair at the airport - when you make your reservations you ask the ticketing agent to arrange this. They generally don't ask why.
Leah
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Sandy - Thank you for posting what you learned~to see it in writing it makes perfect sense, although I never would have thought about it in quite that way. Again, thanks for sharing!
Melinda~I'm sorry your mom is stressing you out - could it be perhaps she is afraid for you? I hope you are able to get it resolved....no matter what your age, you will always be her child, and she will always want to protect you.
Sara~thoughts and prayers are with you ~ it's going to work this time!!
CCbaby - You're up - my best goes out to you!
The last of my drains came out 10 days ago (Yipee!) - but, just noticed tonight that I am getting a seroma, or seroma's. Bummer.....back in the black compression girdle.
xoxo
LouAnn
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I guess everyone has different emotional responses too. GOSH if you are lucky enough to sail thru on cloud nine that is so AWESOME! And yes, bet it's possible!
Melinda, your mum will probably do better once you're there and it becomes real. The staff are so attentive and do pick up on what's going on and WILL be supportive(for you)....but they'll also treat your mum well. Trust me they CAN be your family too if needed....as they had to do so for me and I truly felt more supported w/ them than I ever would have if I'd told any of my family before surgery. Don't forget this IS all about you, your future health and peace of mind. How hard it must be tho! Hang in there!
Sandy how proud you must be of that son yet how incredibly difficult and heart wrenching!
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Margit - You are SO funny... (the comment about your son now being 24 and you wish he would move out... LOLOL!!!!). AND - 21 year survivor???? I want to HUG you!!!
Melinda - I WISH I was going to be there earlier. I am sorry your mom is not on board with this. My M-I-L wasn't either... but that is different because I could hand the phone off to my hubby (its his mom afterall) and ignore the negativity. You really can't when it is your mom and she is going to be there. I don't know how you can explain to her that you need to hear something positive from her from here on out...
Shay - do let Katie help you with reservations... that way if you end up having to stay an extra day at the hospital, she will take care of it. Yes, there is a murphy bed in every room, so no need to have the hotel room while you are in the hospital - your caretaker can stay with you. As KC said an eye mask is helpful. One of the nurses gave me a pink one when I got there - my hubby adopted it and used it the whole time! I think I need to find it for stage 2...
Jennifer!!! Yes the floating prosthetics!!! Maybe I should take them out for one more swim before I donate them... After all - they missed skiing with me the other day... (LOL - that was for you Minnesota...)
Sandy - Thank you for that information. I am glad that you are taking the opportunity to be proud of your son. It is people like him who are so willing to serve that help keep this country safe... and free. Also - I want to send that to my sister. She is extremely overweight and I have been trying to get her to try out for the biggest loser. She said she has too much anxiety - that she could not play pinochle w/friends last week because she was so anxious about it all week that she ended up w/diarrhea and was unable to leave the house. She was never like this when she was average size... it is a vicious cycle and I find myself at a loss to find the words to help. Maybe this information will help??? I don't know. But thank you.
Sally - thank you... I don't know if my hubby always thinks he's that lucky... LOL
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Hi everyone...I have a Stage 2 question for those who have had their ab incision revised. Is this an 'easy' processs, or is it like having the ab done all over again? If it's easy I may ask Dr. D if it would be possible to lower it a little, but if it's a big thing I'll leave it as is.
Sandy, good for you and your son. It's not an easy decision to get behind these days, but I would be very proud of him too!
Shay, my daughter stayed on the Murphy bed the entire time and found it very comfortable. She slept with her head on the closet side, so she was never bothered by any lights or anything. When the nurses came in during the night they were quiet. It was perfect for us.
Spring, this thread is amazing. Thanks for starting it. I have a feeling it's going to go forever!
Suzanne
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Sandy, thanks for sharing the wonderful wisdom from your nutritionist. Better (and probably cheaper!) than a psychologist! I think "stomp the ANTS" would be a cool tee-shirt, though it would offend some Buddhists!!
Getting down to the heart of what are fears truly are is an important exercise. I know I'll be mulling this for a long time, and I, too, should share it with my sister who has sabatoged her gastric bypass surgery.
The good news is that we really CAN alter that negative thinking and get positive results.
Anne
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Reservations - I agree, let Katie help! We tried on our own and got nowhere, since there is a jazz festival in town at the same time as my Stage 2. I thought we might need to reschedule. Then, Katie asked me for dates and price range and was able to come up with a great deal for us which we could not have done on our own. They have connections with many of those hotels, which works in our favor.
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thanks everyone for the input on my mom. I know she wants the best for me and i have no doubt that she will be supportive afterwards when I am home but I think now she is still secretly hoping i will cancel it. Which will NOT happen
I so wish my hubby could come BEFORE since he is the most supportive person in the whole world for me. I think when we fly I'm just going to say point blank to her that I appreciate her coming and it means the world to me but I need no more negative talk before the surgery. I can't hear anymore of that or it will freak me out.
ANd OMG I fly in 7 days...I started packing last night- went out and got the DIal soap and the chapstick and tissues. I don't even know what else to pack because i'm not bringing any normal clothes- just my uber comfy ones.
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Suzanne, Spring had hers lowered at stage 2. Mine has always been pretty low but had to be revised because the middle (right below navel) never met. It probably eventually would have granulated but I went for stage 2 at 10 weeks post stage one and it was easier and prettier for him to just revise and pull it closed. Mine was no big deal. Don't be afraid to ask him to lower. They may not be able to tell you what is possible until your pre-op the day before. BUT, I was very nervous about asking for anything more and when I met w/ Sally right before Dr. D she said ASK away. ALSO if he's going to work on your abd incision he can plicate your muscles or stitch them to give you an even flatter tummy IF it would benefit you but he left the decision to me....I said "YES PLEASE!" to everything he offered-when else would I have an opportunity to have this sort of 'work' done? I was already off work 2-3 wks, 1 more at that point...I was in 'GO FOR IT' mode and have zero refgrets. If he plicates/stitches you have a 10 lb weight restriction for 4 weeks and you may have abd drains? I did and went home w/ 2 abd drains BUT I had an open wound prior...Stage 2 is individual but they will probably tell you sometimes it can be lowered. Don't be afraid to ask!
Spring kudos! Thanks for starting all the fun and CONTINUING, and always being the calm, upbeat voice of reason and wisdom...Things HAVE come FULL CIRCLE! and we all got thru and are STILL getting thru this PROCESS!......I think we should plan a party for June.... a virtual one or conference call then maybe a 'hurricane' party in SEPT?(rates are low then! and this WAS started as the Sept nola thread). I can't take off until sept anyways(not that it's all about me!) But.... I REALLY want to meet all of us- in person....how much fun would that be?
OK, ladies, we have rain again here today. Going to see a movie then the Oscars w/ sister and family.
later!
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Melinda~ Your suitcase will look emtpy but leave it that way
My suitcase had tons of room going down but after I went shopping and all of the pads they sent me home with I had to sit on it to get it closed. 0 -
Melinda, Forgive me- for being so full of advice!....I had ALL sorts of caretaker(or lack thereof dramas!)....If I were doing it over again.... or my mother were still alive- here's what I'd say or do and how I'd act ....not only for me-because yes our families DO KNOW how to push our buttons....and you DON't need your buttons pushed now...you need PEACE and after surgery you will need help w/ some daily activiites- but it's doable and NOT worth having a major emotional family fallout in the midst of major surgery.
In your mum's eyes, you are still her baby girl, her daughter........BUT you are an adult now and you make your own decisions. You are grateful to her for bringing you into the world and raising you and now respecting you as a young adult woman who makes the best decisions for herself. You would love it if she could support you emotionally right now because even though you KNOW this is the right thing for you it is still tough.
Your husband will be there when you get home and if you ask the nurse they will call him as well as update your mom every couple of hours before, during and after the surgery......your mum will be there at appts, in the hospital, at Hope lodge- when EVERYONE ELSE who supports your decision will be around you and helping care for you. Stay calm, and cool on the plane and for those brief periods alone w/ your mom, tell her how much it means to you to have her w/ you AND SUPPORTING and caring for you. Focus/preface your requests on what you DO need from her and how much you appreciate her helping you- not what she is NOT allowed to do. Your mom is probably more frightened than you are. Realize too she may not be able to to be as supportive as you would like-your nurses, the center, ALL of us here understand...PROMISE! We are ok w/ you coming here or calling us to vent......but it's not good to get yourself stirred up. Your energy needs to focus on healing.
As long as your mom understands the big stuff- you can't lift greater than 10 lbs, etc and as long as she pays attention-ASK the nurses-Not necessarily in front of her but tell them to make sure she understands how she'll need to help you. ....One of my caretakers really didn't get it so I walked out of baggage claim and had the taxi driver get my bags.....there are people all around you who WILL help.....your mom may have to see that and then maybe she'll understand better or she may not? But I bet she will come around.
Are you spritual? If so go visit your priest, minister, whomever before you leave for a prayer or anointing-if your mom is spiritual take her w/ you and have a prayer for safe, PEACEFUL travels, surgery and recovery.
OK, sorry! It wil be good!
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thanks for the good advice! I have my xanax ready if I need it, so far so good. I'm thinking the night before I will not be able to resist taking it!
thank you jenniferjane for your advice! I honestly know my mother is just concerned for me and my health. Part of the problem is that she had a unilateral mast 16 years ago and never had recon and it would NEVER occur to her to go to the lengths that I am going to. However, she was in a different place in life when she had hers.I get why she made her decision and I think she gets why i made mine. BUt she is just not nearly as adventurous- or willing to travel for foobs, she thinks this is all kind of insane, especially since other PS turned me down.
I will concentrate on thanking her for coming with me, and she will absolutely be listening to the dr's orders, probably more than me lol! She will be there Sun-thurs and then my husband is coming thurs-tues. So thankfully when I am in pain and ready to whine about it (Im sure!) my hubby will be there who is way more sympathetic and will be helpful I'm sure. I really am greatful to my mom for coming and we love each other dearly, shes just terrified. She got our family rosary from my grandpa the other day (its been blessed by the Pope) and she said it would protect me...so I keep telling her how much shorter the operation will be with these Docs as opposed to others.
I'm sure we will be fine, but dont be surprised if i post from my hospital bed about how shes driving me insane lol!
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tzus,
How great that your FIL is so supportive. And yes, life IS too short to put things off or suffer unnecessarily. Realizing that more everyday-We just don't go thru all this to go back to something in life that is not right but fixable....Wow must be sunday! to be so philosophical! New perspectives!
Plication-when they stitch together your lower abdominal muscles to pull them in more. The rectus abd muscle goes all the way down and can get stretched out after pregnancy weight gain or ? age? plicating pulls it tighter and is part of a true tummy tuck or abdominoplasty BUT they can get pulled or stretched out again w/ weight gain, pregnancy etc. I know what you're saying -the DIEP in essence does give you a flat tummy by removing fat and stretching the skin more taut. The plication is a bonus-since my incision had to be redone and he was already there it wasn't hard to do. They will do whatever is needed to help you look/ feel proportional at stage 2.
There were several people on here who were down w/ one kind of flap and ended up w/ another. You can always ask. I thought I wanted Gap but I had enough to do DIEP or GAP and both sets of vessels dopplered well enough. Ultimately Dr. D let me choose which was very empowering- but I think the abd fat is usually first choice.
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WOW Melinda! didn't know she HAS done this but yes things HAVE changed! If you're Catholic there is a church.....Old St Patrick's built in 1800's really impressive artwork mural- I went there but it's closer to french quarter....the priest there was VERY welcoming to visitors-out of towners and said just contact them if they could do ANYTHING...Glen-one of the driver's everyone on here always talks about goes there. It is a pretty place to see but so is St. Louis Cathedral-It is the oldest cathedral in the US...the history is really quite something. I can't remember which one is near Hope lodge but they can probably tell you.
And hey you could always slip your mom a xanax in her beignet if needed
KIDDING! 0 -
Spring, I missed your presumption, but yes, Julie's consult is with Dr. D. Thanks for adding her appointment. She has a service dog, and will be bringing her to NOLA. The dog will stay at St. Charles with her when she has her surgery, and Dr. D commented that he hadn't had a dog there yet...only his kids. I think I laughed and said something about fleas and kids, but whatever was in my IV wiped out a lot of my recollection and probably caused me to say things I wouldn't normally say. I hope he wasn't offended!
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Thanks everyone for your help about travel arrangements. Having my friend sleep in the hospital room with me will help a lot with cost. I'll definitely call Katie to see what she can do for me.
Looking foward to hearing from all of you that are scheduled before me. Maybe as I get closer to my date, others will be scheduled at the same time. I forgot to add that I will be at St. Charles Hospital. I am a teacher, so I couldn't schedule until school is out - already missed 2 mo for chemo. Since I scheduled the date, I can't contain my excitement. I didn't think it would matter so much, but I am really jazzed. I keep showing my husband and saying "see this, it's going to be my new breast!" He thinks I'm a little crazy. Sometimes I think the silliness is what keeps me sane through all of this.
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ShayT- Congrats on getting your date. I too get through with Jokes.
I am 4 months Post GAP. My dh asked me if I wanted him to rub my butt the other day...Without thinking I said Which one? LOL- Then I realized what I had said. Whoops.
Sandy- Thats for sharing that post. I will need to re read it & see if I can get somewhere to where I will be ok with this next surgery. Im glad it helped you accept that your son is joining the Army- That would be very hard.
I am behind.....Gonna go outside & get some Vit D...So not catching up right now.
It is my 2 Year Cancerversary today.
And Deja Bday she is 10! And still a Pup : )
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Hi Girls,
I just got checked in to the Hope Lodge and my husband and I are getting ready to go for a walk across the street alongside the river. It is sunny and in the 70's and there is green grass! lol
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Pam, congrats on the 2 years survivorship! It's not easy to change our thoughts, and that's what the nutritionist and I will be working on for the next few sessions. I'll share any tips I glean from her, in case it might help you.
Christy, it sounds lovely there....I hope the weather is nice in three weeks, too!
Anyone considering the swamp tour on Sunday, March 28th, please let me know. I think we agree it will be easiest to have the tour company pick us up at our hotel(s). I'll make a reservation soon....
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CC is right it is lovely here-- I spent more time in the courtyard with dh reading to me--very good for the soul. The body on the other hand is in pretty rough shape--recuperating from 11 hrs of anaesthesia, another stage 1 and a stage II while wearing the dominatrix is demanding to say the least. The flap however is looking good so all is right with the world. I know that I will eventually feel better Post-op is tomorrow afternoon and then fly home in the evening....Long day, but it will be good to be home. My daughter is coming for a week--my MIL the next week followed by my sister. I am sooo blessed.
Best of luck CC--Dr. S is an amazing surgeon and will do a great job!
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Christy- glad you are there safe and sound. Enjoy the weather
Melinda- Pack a thermometer. We had to go buy one as my temperature is all wacky.
Pam wishing you many many more years. Give your pup an extra treat from me
Sandy- I would love to hear what else your therapist has to say. I am trying to get rid of stress in my life now to help me feel better. The scoliosis (sp) information sounds interesting. I have a mild case of it but lately it is driving me batty.
I am so looking forward to ditching the compression pants. I found a really awesome brand at TJ Max tha I need to go back and buy another pair. My DH thought I was crazy wanting to buy a pair off of e-bay. So hopefully J-Lo will get the hint and start to go down. We are heading to Florida in 17 days so I would really love to just where shorts.0 -
Sara...My pre-op appt with Dr S is at 3 tomorrow, when is your post-op? Are you at the Hope Lodge too? And yes, he is a great surgeon!0
