Class of 2009 - Sisters in the same time frame
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Sometimes the three years seems like it's flown by, other times it seems like it has been the longest three years of my life. Three years ago this week, I shaved my head because my hair was falling out by the handful. I was also just being released from my first one-week stay at the hospital after almost dying from a post-chemo infection. My life has forever changed - I never imagined I would have had six surgeries in three years, and still always be worried about BC coming back.
I am getting so tired of dealing with BC and the various related problems it has brought up in my life. Even though each scare has turned out to be just that - a scare, and not a return of the cancer - I'm starting to feel like I'll never escape the shadow.
I'm finally starting to feel more like myself these last few days after my hysterectomy/oopherectomy (surgery #6 on Oct. 1). Of course, during that surgery, the gyn/onc saw some kind of nodule on my liver. He thinks it's probably a hemangioma, but he can't be sure. Because he couldn't do the biopsy right then due to the danger of excessive bleeding. So, he's scheduling me for a CT scan the first week of December, to see if the nodule has grown. If it has, he's going to send me for a biopsy. If not, I can breathe easy - until the next thing comes up.
I guess I'm just feeling discouraged and even a little angry at what I've gone through, all because of BC. I don't want to feel this way. I want to be able to be happy that I'm still in remission. I want to have hope that I'll never have to deal with cancer again.
I'm sorry to sound so negative. Maybe I shouldn't even say all of this right now. If I'm out of line, I'm sorry.
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txstardust - never feel bad for what you say on here and it didn't come across as a negative. This is your safe place to vent...a place where we can all relate. Fingers crossed the nodule on liver is nothing. Take care.
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txstardust I totally get your frustration... I keep having some tightness and pulling under my right arm and side where I had so much radiation to my right breast and none was suppose to go. It's like the scar tissue has bundled up there and I can turn or reach a certain way and it grabs like a muscle cramp. It hurts so bad sometimes and spasms. I honestly don't know that there is anything they can do. I do reaches and stretch periodically throughout the day but it doesn't seem to help. Really don't know that it will ever get any better and it's so disgusting. also still have a numb place under that arm from the sentinel node biopsy. Guess that will always be that way too. No hair grows under either of my arms anymore either.
Not sure that I like that. I really don't understand how no hair is not growing under my left arm when I had no radiation there... again it makes no sense to me. haha!!! BC just really sucks!!!Oh well sorry to complain but it's like the aftermath of everything just hits you one day and you think wait a minute!!! what happened to my life it wasn't like this 3 yrs ago
Thinking of getting a tattoo in my old age to celebrate my 3 yr. cancerversary?? hmmm and I've never been one to like them but I really just want a breast cancer ribbon. am I crazy??0 -
Hi dear sisters,
I’m joining your anniversary too – three years ago today I have had surgery and at 11/13/09 I was given the pathological report. Now I’m very glad to pass all check-ups, my MO said in a subdued tone” You don't have cancer any more” but in his waiting room I was seeing patients with Grade IV what is scaring me.
After 22 very troublesome months of Femara, my SE's are truly minor for the last 10 months on Aromasin. This medicine is still burdening and not allowing me to feel better and forget this illness. Even now I’m browsing BCO posts every day. I would like cancer not to have in my mind so often, but I couldn’t to prevent me from.
Love and good wishes to all sisters!
Usha
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Ladies it's was my three year anniversary too.... I had not posted because of all my other health problems and was trying to give only one day a month to doctors and hospital visits. I had put into place things for my Autistic daughter and have put all my time and energy into getting her back on her life path. So I had yearly tests and my main problems was that of most of you. Pain in tissue and muscles from mastectomy, a lot of myofascial tenderness still. I work with a larger exercise ball bending backwards, at first my eyes water from the pain but after five minutes I've worked out the muscle spasms and I have complete range of motion and no day to day problems if I exercise first thing in the morning stretching those areas.
Now to how to deal, and what to do next. So this was my three year anniversary and had blood test that were all off, so Oncologist decided lets do a PET Scan. On Friday I had emails and messages to come in. Right then and there I knew it wasn't good news, if all things were fine they would have said so. So today I find out that a have a new larger mass under my ribs that goes in toward heart! I asked if they will biopsy it and was told it's too hard with ribs they would have to break them etc., and where it is located very complicated. Doctors decided I need to see heart and another Oncologist to see where we go next. They are wondering if it's in the bone of the rib also? What was funny is that I knew something was wrong. In the past I'd have six month scans and the doctors decided to keep my port in so monthly blood work and flushes never took me away from the infusion center and cancer. But I felt blessed after seeing so many of my sisters around me not make it. I threw a clot last month and had to have a TPA, but even after that something was off. Just that intuition. So I'm upset about what the coming weeks will hold, Stage IV, what next, I can't have radiation so will it be more chemo, which I handled with no problems last time or will they just watch and wait? These are what the doctor said all of my team must discuss and prepared for. Hoping that a positive attitude, knowing what to prepare for and my options ahead of time will help me to overcome this new bump in my road of life. So even though I haven't posted in a long time I have never forgot and as Thanksgiving is upon us I thank all of you sisters for your stories, your strength and resilience with dealing with life and cancer. Much love to you all.
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M360, Not too many words to say, other than, continue to fight. keep us updated on your situation & know you are not alone.
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M360 you are in my prayers... keeping fighting the good fight! and please keep us updated as Joni said we will stick with you each step of the way sister
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M360, I'm thinking of you as you face this new challenge. Let's hope your docs are able to come up with a plan of action soon.
I'm going today for the CAT scan of my liver. If no change in size since my surgery last month, then it's all good; most likely a hemangioma. Unfortunately, it seems that I won't get results for a couple of weeks - the holiday this week means it won't be ready until next week, and of course my doc is out of town for that whole week. I'm going to see how I can get the report sooner. I think I'll develop an ulcer waiting that long to find out how it turns out.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving here in the USA. I'm making my cranberry-orange relish, and buying a pie that I wil pretend I baked myself. A Thanksgiving tradition for me!
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Happy Thanksgiving Ladies!!! Have a blessed day
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I can emphatically say that I am so thankful for my amazing doctor, who called me last night to tell me personally that my test results were good. Since he's going out of town next week, and the office is closed today and tomorrow, I was looking at an almost 2 week wait for the test results. He knew I would have been stressing out the whole time, and called me after hours so I could relax and enjoy the holiday. And of course, thankful that my results showed nothing to be concerned about. Whatever is on my liver has been there, unchanged, compared to a previous CAT scan from 2 years ago. Whew!
And...I am thankful for all of my sisters here, that we can be here for each other through thick and thin.
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Joining the 3 year anniversary girls here! Wishing everyone a healthy and happy future!
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Congrats txstardust on good test results and CTmom1234 on meeting the 3yr milestone. May we all have many, many more years of clear results
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Hey '09 sisters. Only 20 more days till year # 3 (or thereabouts) is done! Yippee!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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HAPPY CHRISTMAS to you all, where has the last three years gone,
Eph3 12 love your cheery smilex
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WOW ladies can you believe that it's only 13 days till Christmas? Hard to believe this yr is coming to an end and we will soon see 2013!! Hard to believe I will be heading into yr #4 and headed towards celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary next fall.
Hope each and every one of you enjoy this holiday season.... Celebrate! Jesus is the reason for the season!
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Happy January. I havn't been on for about a month or so...Sure is quiet.
Hope all is well.
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Happy New Year to Everyone!
Just chugging along, trying to live each day to the fullest! Hope everyone has a Wonderful 2013!
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Hello to all have not posted in awhile! Waiting on biopsy results but am keeping a good mind set that all will be fine and just a 3 year check!!
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Hi to all 2009 ladies, where have those three years gone.....i feel it has taken this long, to feel a bit more like my old self, i realise i will never be the same as before dx, for me i now take much more care of myself than before, sometimes its hard to know what sort of person am i now, i am different, sometimes hard to remember what i was like before dx, very strange, its like a dream....anyone else feel this way...hugs to allxx
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Wow!! hard to believe I was the last one to post in 2012 and it went almost a month without another post. Wondering where everyone has gotten off to? I guess going on with their lives. For me life is always busy! Working midnight shift then come home sleep, up again, laundry, cooking, well you know the usual stuff. We had a wonderful Christmas. Hope you all did too.
Has anyone heard from Pam lately? Haven't seen her on here in a while. Hope she is doing o.k.
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Hi ladies,
Happy New Year! Just stopping in to say hello. I rarely post on here but think of you all often and hope everyone is doing well. Hard to believe I was going through chemo three years ago. In some ways it feels like so long ago and in other ways...just like yesterday.
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I'm like so many of you not posting often but always have all of you in my heart! Not good news here. I decided to wait til the holidays were over to have a lung biopsy. Now this was the weird Dr. Who moment in my life. First they don't put you to sleep so they numbed my chest area and went in below the sternum. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, meditating and keeping positive thoughts. I just felt pressure and they must have done over 100 CT Scans while the put in a thin camera and then needle. They took over 12 tissue samples of the largest tumor in my lungs. I have three now, including the one going into heart. The papers I had to sign saying I knew all the negative things that could happen ex: lung collapse, blood transfusion etc. The whole thing took over 5 hours and then another 3 hours in which I had to have x-rays every hour to make sure lung didn't collapse after biopsy. I did ask the Doctor how many he had done which was over 100 and then asked how many had a lung collapse and he had only one. Having never smoked a day in my life he said my lungs would be stronger and more able to accept the procedure. I must say I'm still in shock, I never in my life thought I would have breast cancer in my lungs. Now I still don't know if it's breast cancer in the lungs or another cancer waiting on pathology report. However I said to the Doctors (There were three different one helping the main Lung Oncologist. ), please I need to know if I need to be concern or if everything is going to be okay. They told me that they had many abnormal cells in each slide, if they had not been positive they would have opened up my chest that same day to take out mass. So what type of cancer is it, what cheomotherapy will they use now? My Breast Cancer Oncologist said that most likely they will do surgery later, but Cytoxan will be used because I responded so well. Taxotere and other breast cancer drugs would not be used because of more cancer and how many treatments I had before. Later this month a see the Liver Specialist and they told me to plan for a liver biopsy also. So I wait. I know I can overcome such. The Doctors last week told me that they were impressed by my fortitude and attitude and if anyone was to beat this situation it would be me. However it is so hard on my daughters. I really never in my wildest dreams would ever thought I would be here or in this situation. They say that they worry because from lungs it can easily metastasized into the bones. Back to the monthly doctor visits, and was told to prepare for the whole of 2013 to involve treatments and more PET Scans. Actually the office that does PET Scans said see you next month and I said "what"?! They said if no one has said so, you will be here many more times in the months ahead. So I feel that they know more than anyone is saying but are waiting to see too the pathology reports.
Here is my new mantra: I am a strong woman, I have overcome Breast Cancer before and will do so again, I can live with cancer my whole life but I will not let it be the death of me. This too will pass!
Love to all of my Sisters and I wish you all continued good health and happiness.
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M360-no words darlin'. But yes-this too will pass; hang in there! And please - keep us posted.
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M360 No words....just sending you massive hugxxxxxxx
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This cancer crap ...makes me so angry...xxxxx
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((M360)) - Thoughts and prayers are with you. You ARE a strong woman ((Hugs))!
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Today I got the call and it is breast cancer in my lungs, I have three tumors one going into the heart, they took out the largest one last week but the pathology report shows that it's not a new cancer. Doctors now want to do the liver biopsy sooner than later to see if it's the same there. They are talking about 12 rounds of chemo, I can't have radiation they also feel I could benefit by going into some clinical trials. There is that Garth Brooks song, I thank God for unanswered prayers.... Well when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I would say just let me get my youngest child to 18, that's all I ask of God. Well she turns 18 on Valentines Day. So God gave me what I asked for, maybe I should have asked for 10 more years instead! I've been wondering how many of us have had recurrence or set backs does anyone know?
I know I'll get through this and I thank all of you for allowing me to log on and share. As much as I have family and friends who are there, sisters in the same time frame "just know" where you're coming from and relate.
I pray that all of you are well my love to you all. M
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(((M360)))...keep a positive attitude and keep fighting.
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M360, I 2nd what Micheleboots said. Hang in there girl & please continue to come here & keep us updated & vent all you need!
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I 3rd it! ((M360))
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