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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited May 2010

    Estepp.. i guess i was stage IV...  even at the beginning it had escaped into the supraclavicular and the axillary node on the other side.  i am fortunate to have indicator nodes. 

    this thread is a bit of an update...

    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topic/753292?page=1#idx_10

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited May 2010

    apple - I am concerned about you and glad to hear you feel great and you are a person of faith. You seem like such a sweet person I just want the best for you. P.S. My mom was cured of stage IV bc back in the 1970's. I love painting too and I'm good at not dripping. I always enjoy doing the trim work. Good luck with the move.

    I've been meditating on the words to the Novena to St. Peregrine this weekend. This was new to me and holds so much meaning.

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 18
    edited May 2010

    ok please tell me what is going on... I am so worried about you. (Apple)

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited May 2010

    Apple... keep us informed on you.. ok! I continue to pray for us all!

    I have a few things in my life I am dealing with now. If you could offer prayer for me please. I have LE now. This was one of my worst nightmares.

    It seems... all my nightmares come true.

    I am going to be off BCO for awhile to deal with this unbearable burden I have right now. I will pray for you all daily. I offered the Mass for all of you and more BC girls.

    I will be back as soon as I can.

    Angel... I am reading the book you sent me.... thank you. I need it now...

    Gods Love,

    Laura

  • activern
    activern Member Posts: 111
    edited May 2010

    God be with you Laura and all of your family.

  • Janathan
    Janathan Member Posts: 80
    edited May 2010

    Apple - What a great attitude you have...even though your plate is more than full right now!  Like your blog pics...looks like a nice piece of property and house.  It's so good to hear you feel great, and I pray you continue to do well.  DH and I have a rental house we're working on.  Our youngest son and DIL took our grandson off our hands today, and most of my day was spent painting a bedroom while my DH worked in the yard.  I'm no artist, that's for sure, but I'm great at painting.  Gotta get it done...cold and sore throat or not.  I can't believe I had exchange surgery 2 months ago and today was painting a bedroom!  Hope I'm not overdoing it...don't have a choice.  Keep the faith and positive attitude, Apple. You're amazing!!

    Laura, I'm so sorry to hear you now are suffering with lymphedema.  You continue to be in my prayers.  Take care.  Hope you're back soon.

    Blessing for peace, happiness, and good health to all BC sisters.

    ~Jan

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited May 2010

    poor Estepp.. i think i fear lymphedema more than stage IV.

    we have to meet sister.  you'd think they would find a way to fix lymphedema... i guess that is cutting into your hair styling.

    my prayers for you.

  • jenweg
    jenweg Member Posts: 55
    edited May 2010

    Laura I will pray for you also!!  Good luck, you are strong and will get through this.  Apple you are an inspiration to us all!!  I will continue to pray for all.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited May 2010

    LE, I'm so sorry! I just had AXLD and almost didn't due to fear of LE. The night of my sugery I started to swell in my hand and wrist and freaked out. Started massaging and pushing lymph back, then I realized my JP needed attention. It is not fun.

    I will continue to pray for all too.

  • Janathan
    Janathan Member Posts: 80
    edited June 2010

    Keeping you all in my prayers.

    God bless.

    ~Jan

  • nancyd
    nancyd Member Posts: 557
    edited June 2010

    Day 1 - Novena for Special Intentions and Intercesstion

    We pray to St. Perergine, St. Agatha, and St. Lucy to intercede for our special intentions with Our Heavenly Father; for all on this support board who have been touched by breast cancer. May those who are in pain find comfort. May those who are worried find peace of mind. May we all live to see the day a cure is found.

    We ask for special help for our faithful sisters, Mary (Apple) and Laura (Estepp). Their recent trials have been worrisome. Please help them find solace. Please help their physicians find treatments that work for them.

    And we pray in thanks for answers to our petitions.  Our most Heavenly Father is wonderful and good.

    In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited June 2010

    prayers for my sisters,.

    a funny miracle for me happened.  I prayed for a miracle as I always do.  Something happened to my car battery and when I recharged it, the radio worked again.  I love love love music.  it makes me so happy.  I chuckled at God and his mysterious ways.  My radio has been nonworking for about 3 years.  (it's an 96 van).

    continued prayers for Laura - please come back soon.. we need you. we really need your positive ways and deep faith.  May God hold you close.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited June 2010

    Praying for miracles!!

  • nancyd
    nancyd Member Posts: 557
    edited June 2010

    Day 2 - Novena for Special Intentions and Intercesstion

    We pray to St. Perergine, St. Agatha, and St. Lucy to intercede for our special intentions with Our Heavenly Father; for all on this support board who have been touched by breast cancer. May those who are in pain find comfort. May those who are worried find peace of mind. May we all live to see the day a cure is found.

    We ask for special help for our faithful sisters, Mary (Apple) and Laura (Estepp). Their recent trials have been worrisome. Please help them find solace. Please help their physicians find treatments that work for them.

    And we pray in thanks for answers to our petitions.  Our most Heavenly Father is wonderful and good.

    In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

  • jenweg
    jenweg Member Posts: 55
    edited June 2010

    I just had to share this.  I arrived at work today (it is my first chemo treatment later) and a dear coworker was getting ready to come to me to wish me well as she ripped off yesterday's page from her calender (it is a Thomas Kinkade picture a day calender)  well the photo for today is a picture of Jesus!!!  She got chills from that, she ripped today off and gave me the picture.  She said it is a sign that HE is with me!!  How awesome is that.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited June 2010

    Nancy - Many thanks!!

    jenweg - thanks for sharing your story about the picture of Jesus, that is so comforting.

    I wanted to share a couple of things. First, due to the passing of a distant relative who was in his 90's I've made contact with distant family members for a memorial. I had told them I wouldn't be able travel due to starting chemo but that I wanted to make a financial contribution to the event. Turns out one of the women in the family, who is about 10 years older than I, was dx w/bc 12 yrs ago. She shared her story and the strength she has gained from the difficult experience. It was deeply touching. Funny how you form an instant bond. No one knows what it's like until they get it. I don't even know what it's like because my head has been in the clouds since I found out.

    The other thing is that I had PM'd Estepp when I first found this thread that I married a Catholic man about 15 years ago. I had started the RCIA program but never finished it. I have found this dx to be a calling to deepen my relationship with God. Kind of a kick in the rear to finish what I had started. I ordered and received a 20 hour CD series of Catholic Catechism for adults. I was drawn to the Catholic church even before I met my husband. The word "Catholic" means "whole" or "universal" and my sense was that this church had an extraordinarily rich tradition and was where I wanted to be. A Catholic is a Christian and Christians believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, that there are three persons and one God: the Creator, the Redeemer and the Holy Spirit who is the Sanctifier. This is the Trinity. There is no explaining a calling.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited June 2010

    I spent a wonderful evening last nite with my musical group.  My director (and best friend) took a one year break from directing to fight (you guessed it) breast cancer.    she is returning next year and is directing a special Mass for priest brothers who are celebrating 50 and 56 years in the priesthood.  the Mass is Sunday.  We have all the instruments for that Mass, a trumpet, trombone,  3 guitars, flute and violin.. as well as all the singers plus more.  It was a glorious practice.

    This last year has been difficult as we endured the bumblings of a 22 year old wunderkind/organist director.  Most of my group quit.  Practices were grim, unholy and tedious.  finally after Easter I quit too.  The kid was ok.. just not positive and capable.  Anyway.. it was so nice to sing and play.

    I was reminded of how wonderful music is.  I hardly practice at all anymore.. my time is consumed with moving.

    prayers for all especially dear Estepp.  (Laura, if you are reading, pm me your phone number)

  • nancyd
    nancyd Member Posts: 557
    edited June 2010

    Day 3 - Novena for Special Intentions and Intercesstion

    We pray to St. Perergine, St. Agatha, and St. Lucy to intercede for our special intentions with Our Heavenly Father; for all on this support board who have been touched by breast cancer. May those who are in pain find comfort. May those who are worried find peace of mind. May we all live to see the day a cure is found.

    We ask for special help for our faithful sisters, Mary (Apple) and Laura (Estepp). Their recent trials have been worrisome. Please help them find solace. Please help their physicians find treatments that work for them.

    And we pray in thanks for answers to our petitions.  Our most Heavenly Father is wonderful and good.

    In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

  • Angel10
    Angel10 Member Posts: 347
    edited June 2010

    Beanius...I am a bit biased....I think we are ALL meant to be Catholic!!  Ha, ha!! But God loves each and everyone one of us, no matter our faith, gender, race, age or even (thankfully) our sinfulness!  Praise be Jesus!

    LAURA!!!!!  Sending you prayers and massages!  LE is a PAIN!!!  Darn it!!!!  What does the Good Lord have in mind for you to learn from this?  Suffering.....oh...so much to take in.....

    Please stay in TRUST...TRUST in His Divine Will, He will order all things to your benefit if you go to Him with it.  I hope you are doing the daily morning offering...

    O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer you the prayers, works joys and SUFFERINGS of this day, for all the intentions of your Sacred Heart in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass said throughout the world, in reparations for my sins, and for the intentions of the Holy Father.  Amen   

    Angels from Heaven....direct our paths.....

    God Bless!

    www.directionforourtimes.com

  • Janathan
    Janathan Member Posts: 80
    edited June 2010

    Bless, O Lord, our rest this night, that we may renew our bodily strength, and awake refreshed, able to serve Thee better. O all you angels and saints, and thou especially, O Mother of God, intercede for us, not only during this night, but for the rest of our life, and particularly at the hour of our death. Amen.

    God bless,

    ~Jan

  • nancyd
    nancyd Member Posts: 557
    edited June 2010

    Day 4 - Novena for Special Intentions and Intercesstion

    We pray to St. Perergine, St. Agatha, and St. Lucy to intercede for our special intentions with Our Heavenly Father; for all on this support board who have been touched by breast cancer. May those who are in pain find comfort. May those who are worried find peace of mind. May we all live to see the day a cure is found.

    We ask for special help for our faithful sisters, Mary (Apple) and Laura (Estepp). Their recent trials have been worrisome. Please help them find solace. Please help their physicians find treatments that work for them.

    And we pray in thanks for answers to our petitions.  Our most Heavenly Father is wonderful and good.

    In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited June 2010

    Enkindle in my heart a consuming zeal for the salvation of all men. Obtain for me also a perfect resignation to the sufferings it may please God to send me, so that, imitating our crucified Savior and His sorrowful Mother, I may merit eternal glory in heaven.

    Amen.

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited June 2010

    Hi Sisters! I love you for caring about me! You are so wonderful! So caring!... Well, I am not surprised... as you are Catholic ladies... full of caring and love!

    I am seeing a WONDERFUL LE Therapist on Monday. I know she can help me. This took the wind out of my sail.... I cannot even describe how I felt and feel.

    I am better.. I feel stronger again. Thanks to prayer and YOU.

    It seems.. some of us have to go through... Chemo... mast... node removal... rads... neropathy.. Lymphedema...Fibro.. and even MORE. I seem to be this woman. I am having to come to terms with this.

    I never even had a COLD prior to this.

    I trust God. I love Him. I just am having to learn to suffer this cross for Him.

    I was NOT in a good place last week. For me to be on BCO during this time, would have been selfish on my part. I would not have been helpful to anyone. I have been mad and horrid.

    I also thought more people on BCO   ( NOT any  one of you...) would have tried to contact me.. as they saw I was gone. It was sad for me to see that the ladies I thought would call me.. or write me.... DID NOT. So I had a pity party for myself.

    Then I got some SURPRISE people write to me.. send me links on LE.. and just send me a hug in my e-mail or PM

    I am sorry I have not been here... I saw your posts APPLE... You made my heart happy...

    Pm anytime.. I will send you my cell phone if you want it.

    I have deep love for us here on BCO...so I wanted to post to you sweet ladies.. I am dealing with this now... and I start therapy soon. I am trying to heal myself of this horrid DX.

    Love and many blessings to you, me sisters.

    Laura

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited June 2010

    I should add... I saw all the posts you wrote to me here.. on our Catholic thread. I felt loved here girls... :) No one left out.. not here. TY

    You are such wonderful women... I am beyond happy to share this thread with you!

  • nancyd
    nancyd Member Posts: 557
    edited June 2010

    Day 5 - Novena for Special Intentions and Intercesstion

    We pray to St. Perergine, St. Agatha, and St. Lucy to intercede for our special intentions with Our Heavenly Father; for all on this support board who have been touched by breast cancer. May those who are in pain find comfort. May those who are worried find peace of mind. May we all live to see the day a cure is found.

    We ask for special help for our faithful sisters, Mary (Apple) and Laura (Estepp). Their recent trials have been worrisome. Please help them find solace. Please help their physicians find treatments that work for them.

    And we pray in thanks for answers to our petitions.  Our most Heavenly Father is wonderful and good.

    In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466
    edited June 2010

    oh Estepp I will call you .. maybe this evening.. off to Mass and a rehearsal.. then to the new house with the daughter to paint her room.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited June 2010

    Estepp - you know, I will be eternally grateful to you as YOU have brought me something so special. I don't know you, but I'm grateful to you and every day I'm wishing the best for you. So sorry to hear you are having a tough time right now, and to think you weren't getting the support you need makes me sad. I wish I could be of more help. I'm sending you a most beautiful ball of healing energy.

    You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

    Beanie

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 762
    edited June 2010

    Sending prayers and love to you Estepp, and to all my bc sisters! xo

  • mmm5
    mmm5 Member Posts: 797
    edited June 2010

    Laura

    Just logged on to see your post, I am so sorry you continue to struggle with SE's of BC. I think that is a struggle for so many, it's like get past the treatment and the fear then dealing with the repurcussions of all of the treatment. And according to my Onc it can go on for years, I suffer from low WBC's and he states that could be forever..! Anyway I continue my Novena's to Our Lady of Fatima and Lourdes, and I have added your name to these intentions. Believe and have faith Dear Laura, your prayers and advice have made a difference in my life and our Prayers will uplift you as well.

    M

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited June 2010

    Thank you Father for your Healing.

    I  offer prayer for my BC sisters who are not quite healthy yet. I pray for a cure to this disease... only You can allow this. I trust You! Thank you for always listening and always putting up with my faults...

    I pray for you all to have a GREAT Sunday.. I pray for our healing. Healing of  body and Heart!

    I am SO SO far from anything perfect..... it is SO SO amazing... that Jesus was sent for the IMPERFECT sinners.... so that we can be saved by His grace...

    I , for one. am beyond thankful that He died for my sins... :)....

    I will continue to " try" and be "good" hehe... but I also will continue to THANK THANK THANK our Father for knowing............ we  will NOT NOT NOT be good. ROFLOL.

    God is SO GOOD!

    You all are, too!

    Thank you for supporting me.

    I hope you are well...

    Let us know what we need to PRAY for in YOUR lives right now.

    Laura

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