MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Happy Holidays Ladies! It has been many moons since I've checked in or posted; life goes on, until it doesn't I guess. I think back to the support that you gave me when first diagnosed. You helped me through a very dark stain on my relatively unscathed life. I guess I am confirmation that many of us, (hopefully one day all women and those few men out there diagnosed with BC) DO get beyond it and it fades to the background. Always still there, occasionally flitting like an annoying gnat, but without the thoughts it once produced. My heart still aches for those newly diagnosed or those who have suffered a recurrence.
Fightingirl, try not to let your mind go to the deepest, darkest places. Not easy to do, I know, but in my case, I was told before surgery that my cancer was much larger and at a higher stage than it turned out to be. I had just started a new sales job that involved a lot of travel, and I was trying to figure out how I would be able to keep it while undergoing surgery and chemo. The path report confirmed that my cancer was stage 1 with a good prognosis. Try not to get ahead of yourself and deal with reality once you know what it is. Once you have a plan, things get better. The timing of your diagnosis sucks, but there is never a good time to learn that life as you knew it will never be the same.
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The gingerbread cartoon is funny. We were talking just the other night at work about how men measure vs how women measure. Hilarious conversation.
I love, "there is never a good time to learn that life as you knew it will never be the same." That is so appropriate, on so many levels!
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Men measure from their butt hole!
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Oh how I hate the wait. If I could change one thing in the medical field it would be the waiting for results. Each day I can feel my anxiety level increasing. I'm the kind of person that gets way ahead of themselves. So I'm dead and buried right now due to having a biopsy on calcifications. My inner strength is not all that deep I guess.
Have enjoyed seeing all the cartoons and ugly sweaters. Just a reminder that even cancer can be somewhat funny, when you're not hysterical. Hope I can make it to Thursday. Will be checking in for more laughter and silly jokes.
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Just got the call. All good B9. Thanks for all the support. It's really the only place people truely understand. We're lucky to have this type f support.
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Thank you for letting us know!!! It's great to get some good news. Enjoy you holidays!
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Finally got the pictures uploaded that my DD took at my b'day party. (Had to wait for her to come home from college cuz she had the shots in her camera, and she was too busy w/finals to get them to me any earlier.)
Me and DH. You can really tell how much I've shrunk from the spinal mets/compression fractures in this picture...sigh. I've lost a full TWO inches, to that bastard, Mr. Cancer.
My friend, Debi, has a piano, and she always displays a collection of toys for every season. I got her the little Olaf and Snowgees as a "thank you" for hosting the party. We all had a great time.
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Great pics and nice to see all of you! His was my year too. Born in 58 and turning 58. Only happens once in a lifetime. Glad we were here to see it.
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kkuziel, So, so, so happy and relieved for you. We have not had a happy dance in a good while, so it's time...
Lita57, Thanks for the party pix. Ordinarily, that cake would have had me drooling, but today I made about 6 dozen glazed butter cookies. Between sampling the raw dough, finishing off the glaze right out of the bowl and then taste-testing the finished product, I consumed so much butter and sugar today I cannot even LOOK at a cake without my pancreas wanting to pump out more insulin. BTW, who's that honey on your arm? Is that DH?
And Barbe, You're so funny about those men. Honestly, your mind is filthy. And Filthily, your mind is honest. Lol and shrieking...but that may just be the excess sugar consumption.
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My mind is NOT filthy! I just ask guys a lot of questions.
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Barbe, as for 1958, Frank Sinatra would say, "It was a very good year..."
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Even in the wild days of decorating with one room snowmen, one room Santas, one room nativities, my house didn't look like that....
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Elimar...too funny about your pancreas. I LOVE butter cookies, too, and that's why I'm NOT making them this year. Heck, I'd eat 'em all b4 they were even boxed (or tinned) up as gifts!
And yes, the man on my arm is indeed my husband. He's Chinese/Hawaiian, and it will be 28 years since we started dating on January 1. My former boss fixed us up (DH was one of his best friends from childhood). Boss gave me tickets to the 49er game at Candlestick Park slated for New Year's Day. He said he couldn't go because he had some family gig to attend. I said, "Who am I going to go with? All my friends have plans, too." He said, "Why don't you take my friend?" I'd seen Boss's friend b4 because he'd come to the office every once in a while and they'd go have lunch together. Boss's friend also attended the company Christmas party a couple of weeks b4, so it wasn't like a total "blind date," and I said, "What the heck. Okay." TMALSS, we really hit it off. DH-to-be was SO IMPRESSED that I brought hot sake in a thermos (it was freezing that day), and we toasted the "Sake God" every time we drank from the little sake cups I brought. And wouldn't you know, the 49ers SCORED every time we did! They actually went to the Super Bowl that year and won. We think the Sake God had a part in that, ha ha.
Got my Pneumonia 13 immunization yesterday and I couldn't sleep last night, no surprise there. Gotta go to the post office and then do a little shopping. Otherwise, taking it EZ to day. At least once or twice a week I have trouble sleeping. It's part of Mr. Cancer's nocturnal abuse. I just take it in stride. Insomnia can have many factors. You've all been there.
Well, better try to haul my butt out of the chair.
Happy Winter Solstice, everyone!
Lita
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Lita57, Cool story, and you two make a cute couple. Are you still friends with "the boss?" You OWE him!
Also, good to know that little sake-in-a-thermos-trick. All you single gals, take note!
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Sadly, elimar, we haven't kept in touch very well with "the Boss." We were very close to him and his wife for many years, celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, etc.. He was married to his wife for over 30 years, and then they got divorced. (Won't go into that, but it was pretty nasty...she developed an illness, Boss couldn't handle it...you know the drill.) We do stay in touch w/the ex-wife tho. She is very sweet and does NOT deserve this.
So many long-term marriages seem to be ending these days. It's not just politicians and celebrities anymore: Al and Tipper Gore - DIVORCED after decades of marriage; Carlos and Deborah Santana - DIVORCED after more than 30 years of marriage; my former landlord and his wife after 30 years of marriage; the list goes on. And lots of you dear sister warriors have walked that path, too.
Marriage is SO HARD at times. No one has the formula. You just have to take it day by day, as they say, and continue to respect each other and try to cope with each other's differences.
L
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I hate when people say marriage takes work. It doesn't. It takes mutual respect and unconditional love. It's easy-peasy when that's the formula.
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Well, it may be easy for some, but hard work for others, given the complexities of our lives and increasing time constraints.
If marriage was easy, we wouldn't have the 50%+ divorce rate. And it's way higher here in Calif. More like 2 out of 3 end up in divorce. Jumping ship is easy, staying together and making it work takes a bit of effort for both people. Lots of people are incapable of unconditional love. They are petty and hold grudges...probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
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A LOT of people shouldn't have gotten married in the first place!! Do we argue, sure. But we don't hold grudges or stay angry. We are both intelligent people and we discuss until we get a resolution. I think some couples are mis-matched in intelligence and that is a lot of the problem. Or mis-matched in goals and dreams. Kind of like The Odd Couple. If it takes work, then it's too much like a job and I already have one of those. If you have mutual respect then nothing can tear that apart. And you'll put up with more if you trust the person, which comes with respect. I would lay down my life for my husband but it drives me nuts when I can hear him chewing his food. Go figure!
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I agree Barbe. But I think some people just get married by listening to their genitals, and when the magic wears off, they find that they never developed any real respect or trust.
Not a big fan of Catholicism, but like the idea that they make you take classes b4 you get married. Marriage is a major commitment, especially when children are involved. Stuff my DH does drives me nuts at times too, and I'm sure it's vice versa for him, but we wouldn't trade each other for the world.
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I had marriage "classes" 30+ odd years ago and they were pretty trite. I could see even then my first DH wasn't going to be my only one. I remember saying to my Mom, "I don't think he's my forever husband but I still want to marry him." What an idiot I was!! In those days you didn't move in together (late '80s) and his Mom certainly wouldn't let us - I lived alone at the time. But I got my kids out of him, so maybe that was the whole reason. Until I met my current husband (23 years now) I had no idea what true unconditional love meant. I did know I'd never felt it before, though!
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Well, now I know who to send my referrals to get their relationship advice. I have been in my original marriage for long time now, most likely from a sheer stubbornnes not to let it fail. However, I fully believe men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and my own husband is from Pluto (especially since they said it's not even a planet anymore.)
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Elimar, you cracked me up...Pluto, ha ha!
Barbe, yeah, some of the classes can be pretty lame, depends on the instructor, but it's better than nothing. Kids today, unless they're very mature and had good parental roll models, have absolutely no idea what they're getting themselves into. They communicate via texting almost entirely nowadays. How will they deal with face to face living together? My twenty something daughter wonders the same thing. We've gone to nice restaurants and everyone's on their smart phones for criminal sakes. Very romantic...
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Lita, well, they are talking to each other, the best way they know how, by text. Could be romantic.
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Had some dye put in my kidney yesterday and some went through and to the bladder but not enough to get rid of the bag. Found myself very depressed last night. There is another thing they can try in six weeks which I would still have the tube but will have it go to the badder and no bag. Need to research it first as o am so prone to infection. I have another one now and back on antibiotics 😢.
On a positive note hubby took me to Foxwoods casino in CT and my third hand I nto a table game called let it rideI got four of a kind and won 500. Of course I didn't leave with 500 but had fun
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{{{Diana}}}
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D-rose, I know you want to get rid of that bag so much, but I am glad you will use those weeks to learn more about the proposed procedure and that you are not in a position where you have to make a rushed decision about it. I would be wary of infection in your case too. Bummer that you are back on the antibiotics. I know you will not let this crap spoil Christmas for you, so have a relaxed and peaceful one and enjoy those fruits of all your baking labors.
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I get such a kick outta some of the conversations on this thread!
Then I get such inspiration from all the "brave" women here, I know we are all forced into it, but the grace and determination some display is so powerful! Also the humor helps!
I have been away for a few days. Did my trek to the big city to see my docs. It involves my son driving down to pick me up, shuffling me off to my DD, I spent the night at her place. Then into the city bight and early for my day of joy!
It was on my 5 year cancervesary! Big benchmark, but seems like not much will change (also a huge sigh of relief there!) While waiting I was able to reassure a woman wheeling around in a wheel chair (obviously waiting for a mammo to confirm the placement of wires). I told her I was right in her spot a few years ago and I was still here. She said she was getting painkillers for Christmas and we had a good laugh! Those relaxing drugs were certainly doing their job!
I should have taken a play outta Eli's book, and instructed the tech in how she better do a good job, After the painful mammo, on to the BS PA, who was as happy and joyful as ever, also very pregnant, an aside, how do people stay so upbeat in that job is beyond me. (she also seems to be about 16, I swear) But I have known her for 5 years. Anyway, she said every thing felt fine, wrote me a new script for bras, then said since you're from the Vineyard we need to read your scans before you leave. I was like, no that's ok, she said no, in case we need other views, just sit tight. Now I'm getting anxious. Then the PAA, comes in and says I can get dressed but to go back to the other side to get the results. I'm happy because that means no more views right, because I can get dressed. I am with my DD and we are happy, almost over. Then a different tech comes out and say "why'd you get dressed we need to do more views!" I'm what!!!! Joy is dashed. She said there were 2 suspicious places, one on each breast. But not to worry they could do an ultrasound right there if need be, now I'm sweating bullets. So back in the Johnny, which another aside why can't we just take our shirts off in the exam room and then get dressed again, the whole rigamarole of sitting in the sub waiting room. Anyhow, 5 more painful views later, back in the subwaiting room in my designer flattering jonnie, worried outa my mind, but playing a crossword game on my phone with my DD, giggling cause it's so hard. Finally a tech comes out and calls me in the back, just tell me already!, well, she says it looks like it was just a tissue overlap. Really, come on folks get this stuff together! But I was floating on air walking outta there with my appt. for next year.
I did the genetic counseling in the morning. My MO ordered that. I had some done 5 years ago, but he said those dreaded words, you should find out for your daughter. So went and heard the spiel again and had my blood drawn. But will it really matter to me, if I might be predisposed to more cancer? I'm not sure.
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Interesting, I did BRCA testing this AM too. But mine was the spit kind. Have to fill up to the line on this tube with spit (the non foamy kind) so it has to settle into clear liquid before you can leave. Well, naturally it's me. The MA went to put the lid on the sample and the tube exploded and my spit went every where!!!!! So I had to do another one. It's hard to corral that much spit when you can't have had anything orally for the hour preceeding the spitting! Kinda dried up. I had some lemon essential oil in my purse that I put into tea and so I hauled that out and sniffed the bottle. My salvary glands responded a bit, so I eventually got that 2nd sucker filled up.
The path report from the total excision of the melanoma finally got back. All clear and he went deep and wide with the procedure so I had really large, clean margins.
Merry Christmas to you all, my friends! May your day be swell!
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