MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
-
HI Barbe,
No, I didn't mean to imply that you suggested a mx would prevent recurrence. But I have heard that elsewhere from well-meaning ppl. What I did find disturbing was the following question:
"Okay, I gotta say it. I'm sitting here feeling like I didn't even have cancer! I took "the easy" way out and had a double mast right at the start. So, no chemo, no rads and no hormonals (I don't qualify). So except for the fact that I have a totally flat chest, I'm not "enduring" through this journey, just walking casually along....la de dah! I know we talked about this on an earlier page, but it hits me every once in a while. I think the mast was the EASY way, where as people around me were horrified it had "come to that". So, I guess my point is...now don't y'all jump on me!...why don't more of you have the mast at the beginning and save yourself from the horrid treatments? Ouch! Don't be mean, I'm only asking!
"I had a mx and couldn't avoid the "horrid tx". I also didn't think it would have been the easy way out. I would gladly have gone through the chemo and rads if I could have saved my breast. I guess they mean more to me in terms of QOL. Again, just my opinion, not intended to offend. I am afraid that I am one of those that when you ask a question, I try to give an honest answer, trying not to be mean just honest.
I guess some women no longer have the same erotic feeling that I have or never had it maybe? But I really miss even losing only one breast. Not to mention what it has done to my figure. So call me vain and superficial. My avatar was taken right after my dx and before my mx. I was proud of what I had and feel very lost without it. Still....
C
0 -
RE: My earlier RADS question on pg. 12 --
Reports coming in from the fair sector...any darker skinned women, or really tanned ones, was it pretty much the same for you or did you fare any better?
Well, Kleenex may be right that you just can't put rhyme or reason to it; or maybe it is a case of a lot of factors coming in to play. I'm on the fair side myself, and won't know my S/E outcome til October.
0 -
I have dark brown hair but do not tan easily. I burn, then tan and freckle. I had serious burns from rads. Mine did not show up until after the rads were over. For the next two weeks, I was in extreme pain from the blistering and raw burning skin. I did everything the doc prescribed during rads. I used up several tubes of cream, but I still burned. It has been over a year since I had rads and I still have a darkened area under and on my breast lump (I call it a lump, because it has no nipple and covers a TE).
Good luck!
0 -
Oh, I did start getting pink during the first week and got redder and redder with each week.
0 -
I can't offer up much to the burgeoning Mx controversy.but I'm jumping in --
I chose lumpectomy because I felt I knew a bit about it since I had had two excisional biopsies in the past (many years apart) and they were not too terrible. I did not end up with as good a cosmetic result as when I had the two B9 tumors removed, but I had hoped that it would be about the same. I chose lumpectomy because my cancer seemed pretty tiny. I could feel it small as a BB. When my biopsy came back as it did, I didn't feel like I had to lose a whole breast over it. I knew there might be some adjuvant therapy involved, and I valiantly looked on this and many internet sites for ways to AVOID IT. In the end, (here's where I go broken record) I was too scared not to have the adjuvant. The only way I can relate to Mx personally is to think of it as more like when I had my excisional biopsies (surgery, then done) rather than the lumpoectomy. Yes, I know that is a poor comparison. Yes, I know!
Never having Mx, I admit I am clueless to the extent of hurt and healing involved with it. I think the point that Barbe1958 was making was that IF in a case where Mx is chosen, and it is a straightforward surgical procedure where adjuvant is not strongly indicated and you don't go with a reconstruction, then once your incisions do heal up you get back to regular life -- even if it is a "new normal." (But Barbe, don't most Mx people lose most of their axillary nodes? That lymphedema sounds awful and many are left with it. Do you have that?)
Cmharris59, you got hit with both barrels. I know this is not all that rare to get Mx + adjuvant because even in a month I have read countless stories on here. Then, you had some serious complications on top of everything. Most people don't have to deal with all that. Plus, you are doing TE and that's just one more element to get through. I hope you turn out lovely, by the way. Here's the thing: Some people who get a Mx really mourn their loss, others sign up for Amazon archery without missing too many beats. (I'm just being figurative to demonstate something stoic, someone who moves on quicker.) But it's all valid, and there should be no competition as far as subjective reaction goes.
Some people might think of me as overly dramatic when I say I feel a bit disfigured by the lumpectomy. Well, I don't want to hear, "Oh, it's not really that bad." If I say I am damaged goods, then I AM. I know how I was "before" and how I am "after" and I don't like the difference. I would not even like someone with an Mx to tell me that I'm not "so bad." I am as bad as ANYONE ELSE who did not want to be carved up! It's still pretty new to me, so I'll probably settle down to my "new normal," but I can't see that happening until I am out of treatment. It's gonna take a while.
0 -
Wow, been reading a long time catching up on 3 threads, facebook, email, etc. Had been to the beach for since Sat. AM. I had a lumpectomy, like mentioned by someone else here, 51, never had any health issues, my dx was a shock. My BS seemed to talked more about why a lumpectomy would work and less about other options, even though she says in her report she discussed both. So I took her lead and had a lumpectomy, chemo was decided on once my onco score of 40 came in, then rads. I am fair to medium skinned and had some burning, and then peeling under my armpit about a week before boosts were to start, once boosts started on scar that was in the 3 oclock position of my right boob, the underarm was able to heal quickly. I did burn a bit in the scar area, but once finished it healed quickly. I still have a permatan spot in the scar area.
Have a great week all.
0 -
Hi Ladies,
We just got back from a camping trip and I am trying to catch up.
On the MX debate...In 2003 I had stage 2b ILC and I had a lumpectomy. My surgeon said that if I had a MX instead that I wouldn't have to have rads but would still have to have chemo and Tamoxifen. For some a MX is all that is needed but many who have MX still have to endure "horrid" treatments. So it's just simply not a choice for alot of us. It all depends on your diagnosis etc.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!!!!!!!! Mazy
0 -
elimar,
I am very fair skinned and did not burn in rads..Hugs, Mazy
0 -
Well said, Elimar! I really didn't intend to be controversial, but I guess I am pretty passionate about it. Good luck to you through all of your tx. I think that I, too would have felt disfigured if I had had the lumpectomy. I guess maybe the fact that Barbe used the word easy got me riled. I didn't think anything was easy when it came to breast cancer except maybe the crying jags. They come all too easily.
I really am glad that some women can pick up and go on with their lives. I wanted to do that. I just didn't realize how hard it would be for me to accept my new normal.
C
0 -
Have finally found the end of all these post,so am joining all you "middle agers".
I started my journey as a 42 year old with 2 teenage boys, am now a Grandma to 3.
Had a 2nd dx on the other side 9 years later and am now 3years out from that dx. Have just had genetic testing done and not very surprised that I came back positive to BRCA1, so now awaiting dates to have a full Hysterectomy, then will be getting Prop Mast and Bilat reconstruction.
Elimar... regarding Rads and burning, when I had rads after my Lumpectomy I went Pink and only got a very small blister under my breast and another under my arm, but when I had rads to my chest wall after my Mastectomy on other side I burnt badly all over. So go figure.
0 -
I think I jumped on this thread in it's early stages. Now I see it's grown so much, I have no time to catch up on all the posts. I've only read half of them and the last 2 pages.
Anyway, Elimar, I see that you started Radiation. I'm kinda fair skinned myself, and had absolutely no burns from Rad, just skin that turned a little deeper in color. A year ago, I was about halfway through Radiation. I also had no fatigue and worked through it the whole 6 weeks. I had no chemo, oncotype score was 12. I've been on tamoxifen since November, but recently took a 6 wk break from it. Just started it back up about 3 weeks ago. I think the break did me some good.
I'm a nurse working in Labor & Delivery, and I have 3 daughters, 21, 20, and 13. I am 48.
0 -
Thanks for the Rads comments. I probably won't find any certain trend to who breezes thru' and who gets scorched.
Rainenz, that is intriguing that rads went two different ways for you. Oi! -- and that's a whole shopping bag full of upcoming surgeries you have there. Since you read your way from the beginning, you'll know I'm wishing you "Goof Luck." (No typo, refer back.)
I was just thinking today about how some early posters wrote only once in the beginning and have not been seen since. Glad to see you again rgiuff.
In closing for the night...A little point/counterpoint is always good for a long weekend; and now back to our regularly scheduled stories, rants, humor & hugs.
0 -
Never give up cause we are winner.
Have a wonderful evening and may
you have a calmer and easy week.
Take care, busy week for me.
0 -
Seven years ago I would have never admitted that I have just turned 57. No one has been allowed to mention my birthday since I turned 49. I could not handle turning 50. It hit me like a ton of bricks and was followed by a full blown mid-life crises. Funny how cancer changes all of that. Now I hope I get to celebrate my 58th . . . and a celebration it will be!
For me, the hardest part has been dealing with something that is not in my control. I hate surprises. I hate the unknown. I hate the uncertainty. I hate seeing the fear in my daughters' eyes. I hate being the source of sadness that has caused my husband's shoulders to sag. I look at them and think . . . I am the cause of this pain. I am the reason for this journey. I know it is not something I've planned or something that is in my control. But I can't help how I feel.
I spend a lot of time trying to separate anxiety from reality. Every pain is cancer. Every discomfort is cancer. That's the anxiety. Two months ago that pain would have been a muscle injury. That discomfort would have been caused by eating too quickly. I can't imagine living like this this forever, and hope that one day, I will wake up and say "I am healthy and that the pain is nothing more than a pain.
I have staged a war against my cancer and vowed to win. I am small but I am mighty; bring it on because my attitude in life is I am a fighter. I will fight so I can see my grandchildren grow up. I will fight so I can spend many more winters in my little house in Florida. I will fight so I can hug my dogs when it is their turn to take their final breath. And I will fight so I can tell the story of how I battled breast cancer, and won.
This is just one more battle that has been put before me so I can show my strength. My mantra in life is: "Life is a series of peaks, plateaus and valleys." I have the physical ability to win this battle, the strength and endurance to keep on fiighting and the mental agility to find my way out of this valley.
I will fight so I can show everyone who is supporting me, praying for me, and guiding me; You are backing a fighter. Do I always feel this way? Definitely not!! I have shed more tears in the past two months than I have shed in the past two decades. I have felt raw, bone chilling fear. I often feel like I am going into battle with a powerful, fully armed force while having both hands tied behind my back. So I spend hours researching this faceless enemy because knowledge is power.
I meet with my surgeon tomorrow to discuss my mastectomy. What she doesn't know is that I have made the decision to have a double mastectomy. I feel very strongly that it is the right decision for me. I have researched and my gut tells me it is what I need to do.
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is another battle. Tomorrow is an opportunity to show how strong I am. I will not let tomorrow go by with any regrets.
0 -
I posted earlier but think I hit the preview and not submit!!!
I had a bi-lat mastect.(one prophylactic) and no chemo and no rads.
I have been NED for 17 years. If I had had all the chemo and rads I would say thats what prevented a recurrence,,,hitting it hard..but I didn't.
All you can do is talk to your medical team and make your own decision.
BTW I had recon. which I am very happy with.
Yes this thread certainly is growing!
jezza
0 -
BTW...Hi Rainenz !!
Raine and I go way back...lol.
Great to see you here.
jezza
0 -
good morning ladies - thought I would check in -getting drains/stitches out today from axilla node dissection post lumpectomy- not getting the low down on post tx til next tues which will include the whole gambit - chemo-rads-tamox. The dissection was very painful - did anyone else find that? Still sore and cant lift arm 10 days later.
Also,to Barbe - I have a few friends/clients w/ fibromyalgia and they all drive on various meds ranging from strong opiates, tramadol, lyrica etc. All become less "high" after a short time and are much more comfortable with meds. Just a thought. Good luck to all and thanks for being here. V.
0 -
Count me in. I am 48, and was diagnosed just a few weeks after my last children went away to college. Also starting to see problems arise with my mum and my husband's parents. The fun never ends
0 -
You don't have to get all your nodes out with a mast. I only had 13 out. But if you have positive nodes, they may have to go in to take more. And yes, that is the most painful part. I am STILL numb under my left arm...
cmharris, I could turn MYSELF on with my breasts! That's how much they were a part of my sexuality. I guess I was angry at them with the cancer, so do know that you are not the only one who finds pleasure in her breasts....
I don't miss them because I think by opting for a mast I was able to take control. When I was told the margins were not good with the lumpectomy and the tumour was right on my chest wall, I wanted it all off! Though the tumour board had to approve it, I felt that I was in control. I wasn't told I had to "do this" or "do that". So in a way, I was the master of my own healing.I wanted my kids to see how to deal with a crisis and think I set a good example. I dealt with it.
We are all dealing with it. I feel sorry for the ladies out there who don't know or can't be on this board. Thank God for bco.org!
0 -
Oh, meant to add; when I was on 120 mgs of Oxycontin a day, I was driving myself to work. I found out later, that in Ontario at least, it is illegal! I know of someone who got "caught"...
I don't know how the kids get stoned on that stuff because unless I'm in enough pain, it just makes my stomach sick. I really have to need it to appreciate it. 0 -
I had a unilateral Mx with a SN bx, only took one node. It was clear and I didn't do any other TX. I had some weird sensations from my elbow to my arm pit and dierectly under my arm pit. It felt like it was alseep, more than numb ? This went away over time, but I've noticed some since my last surgery and I think it's more from wearing the surgical bra.
Hang in there all..................
Blessings,
0 -
To all, it seems several of us have sleep issues. I asked on the Tamox thread too, what do some of you do or take to help with sleep? I like the way ambien helps me sleep but am afraid to take to often so only take maybe once a week, tylenol pm is out due to interference with the tamox. Seems like restlessness, pain, hot flashes, potty seem to wake me or prevent me from falling asleep. do some of you know if you take the sleep aids for a few weesk do they get you in the rythym of sleep again or when you don't use you don't sleep? Thanks for your input, I will day dream about sleeping and not being tired.
0 -
You might ask your Med-Onc about using melatonin while on Tamox. I'm not sure if there is any interaction between those two.
0 -
Hi, I'm 48, diagnosed a week and a half ago with invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 1 (tubular carcinoma) and I never expected it, wasn't worried after the biopsy, bam, there it is. Just beginning to learn about this.
0 -
Hi Eliana,
You have come to the right place to learn. This site is the best for friends,support and to learn what you need to get through this. This isn't the club that I would have like to join but have found great comfort in being here.
Big hugs to you, rest and take care of yourself but strap yourself in because honestly it is a roller coaster ride.
Hugs
Viv
0 -
Elliana, sorry to hear you've had to join our group. But try to take some deep breaths.......and take it one step at a time. It's so easy to gallop ahead, it's all so overwhelming....... There is so much support and information on these boards.
Gentle hugs.
0 -
I'm 52 and starting radiation therapy next Monday September 14. I have a 23,20 and 13 years old children. I'm happy to be a survivor.
0 -
Hi Eliana and Dolores welcome to ladies in the middle. Dolores you and Elimar will be doing some of your "glow" therapy at the same time, but she has a head start on her tan.
Carolynn I take 300mg of Gabapentin (Neurontin) every night at bedtime, it decreases all the restless feelings (which I think are anxiety) and stops the hot flashes. I really don't care if I become dependent on sleeping meds because I have to sleep. This however is not a hypnotic nor is it physically addictive. If I am having an extra painful day I take it with a vicodin. I talked at length with my Dr. about taking vicodin a few times a week and no one seems to have a problem with it, I am however, learning to do self hypnosis and meditation so maybe I won't need it soon and I can teach my body to heal itself.. it only I could teach it to loose weight (:
0 -
Elliana,
Nice to meet you. Things will settle down some for you once you have surgery and a treatment plan in place. There are many ladies here who can help you thru the journey. Hugs, Mazy
0 -
Dolores,
Nice to meet you too and I am glad you are a survivor too...Hugs, Mazy
0
