MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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I m ok Barbe- thanks fo rasking- just a little woowoo trying to stay still and heal....
Meece- as for my getting a bmx- met with a bit of resistance to taking the 10,000 lb sledgehammer to a 5 mm tumor...but, it was what I wanted - for a variety of reasons, not the least of my brain imploding with fear at each new twinge in the remaining breast(s). It was the only thing I was sure of throughout this whole BS crap. I got a lot of weird comments about "mutilating myself" or "or not being a real woman without my breasts" and the way I see it, that is just the other person's weird thought processes. I have a new saying which is a riff on another...
No, these are not fake boobs, I grew them myself:)
it is such a personal decision, one I am fortunate enough to have been able to call on my own without being forced to do it.
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NO ONE said I was over doing it. In fact, the surgeon said the tumour board agreed with me. My tumour was on my chest wall at 6 o'clock over my heart and it was rare. Papilliary Carcinoma. No one knew what to do with it! I have NO regrets!!
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The age old BC ? to keep or not to keep! I wish the tumor board would have given me a direct answer but no it still remains up to me
I have been walking around for 2 years with my fingers and toes crossed LOL I remember my first BC walk about 3 months after Tx. and when I went for the group picture the women behind me asked me why I still had my hair! I momentarily felt guilty that I did...Barbe, congratulations on your new grandbaby and you look great in your picture!
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that is too funny OG- I cannot tell you how many are shocked that I have hair (and indeed it is looking better than ever thanks to my vitamins and eating a bit better). I am so mean, I do not help them out...I just smile and say thanks when you see the alarmed look in their eyes and questioning glances. If someone wants to ask outright, I will tell them I was fortunate and did not need chemo. I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about a lot of things, including BC. It ranges from "your goose is cooked" to "it is nothing these days, no big deal". As a disturbing number of folks have said to me....you got a free boob job outta it...hmmmmm, really? Nevermind the copay and deductibles, there are actually other less painful routes I would have chosen if that had been what I was going for....I will celebrate the new ones now and am growing to like Ike and Tina, but getting a lift/boobjob was a choice I had considered off and on as they slowly became 36 longs and finally decided against it last year...several months before I was DX...funny how life is sometimes.
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anyone know why when i click on a thread it doesn't go right to the last post i read anymore? Did I change a setting on my mac.
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I am finding it amazing that there are a large number of people out there who do not know the difference between chemo and rads. When I tell them I was lucky and did not have to have chemo but did have rads - they ask me if I lost my hair. I look at them and say, yes I did in my armpit. I don't have to shave my left side. I get a laugh out of that one. I may go over to the bonfire and throw those people in.
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Well, throw me in too, as I didn't know the difference before my own cancer! That kind of disease detail I wouldn't expect the average Joe to know, Jo. hehehehehehhehee
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ever been to the haidressers' and they cut it really short, and you cried? well, i have. the answer always is, it'll grow back.. but, can't do that with a breast.
Imade the decision to have both removed, bc i know how i am. id constantly worried. one was going for sure.. then i was a 46DD so how was i gonna MATCH the other one.. i had some real dark days till i made the decision. i couldn't have recon cause of my health.. so, it was hard for me. when the path came back after the surgery, i was SO glad idid it. it was pre cancerous AT BEST.. but, if you're no there, you have lots of time to decide. you can go back and do whatever your comfortable with later.. its a huge decision,so time to think is wonderful...
sounds bad, as i write it, but its' my story, so im keepin it... 3jays
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Carrol--I noticed that too, and asked about that. Apparently it's been like this since the site had some maintenance work done, Friday I think it was. Hopefully the moderators know about it and will have the tech people reset whatever it was that got changed on Monday morning.
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Welcome .. all newbies.. I am new to this site, but not to Breast Cancer --
Decisions, decisions. My only suggestion or offered advise is seek the advise of a 'Breast Cancer Specialist' .. they are out there.
Also, research, read and make the very best decision for 'you'. Yes, you may have information over load, but it is so important to take the time to find everything out possible .. Stage, Grade, is chemo needed? Radiation? .. etc.
chemocare.com is a excellent site to see what to expect - side efforts, fatigue, recovery, eating properly (which, lets face it ... not always possible once your taste buds, go on vacation for several months).
Surgical option .. single or double/bilateral mastectomy .. tissue expanders, and reconstruction or not. Such personal and private choices.
Take a deep breathe, and know we are here 24/7 to help you, and offer love, and support during your journey.
Strength and Courage,
Vicki Sam
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Sorry if I overlooked you in extending a welcome, VickiSam, but sometimes I miss who is new here if I have seen their name on another thread. There is quite a bit of overlap between this thread and "Stage 1 Sisters" and I think you have posted on that one before, haven't you?
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Barbe - There is no way I would throw you in cuz I would have to go with you. BC has been such a learning experience. I did know before this that there are different kinds of chemo treatments and one does not always loose their hair. My hubby did not and he has had chemo twice.
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It seemed every time I had a test after dx my tumor got bigger. First biopsy said 2cm, MRI over 3cm on right side and 12mm area on left side. I knew up front I would have mx but BS called about my MRI biopsy that my left side showed an area of concern. I would have to have a needle biopsy every six months. I thought why bother and chose BMX with recon. I have not looked back on BMX but recon another issue. My initial tumor was at 11o'clock and IDC, the path came back with 5.5cm at 11 and another smaller one at 1o'clock. Left side was negative for cancer but I am still good. There three other ladies in my Sunday school class had bc after me, neither had the same experience, same as here. Each experience is different.
Have a followup with SIL she is still in ICU. They are still cleansing her system from stomach and belyond, we almost lost her. She will be in the hospital until Thursday. Please keep her in your prayers.0 -
mjbmiller - Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers for your SIL - hoping for a speedy recovery.
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Jo/barb I would have to go in to. When I saw a friend of mine at the onoc office when I was having rads, she was having chemo. I wondered why she still had hair, she had the non hair loss chemo for pancreatic cancer as a precausion. I felt so bumb, but now I understand more than I want.
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I just had a huge argument with my husband about how he wanted his sandwich made. He claims he said one thing I claim another. I am so sure I am right but I always wonder if i have chemo brain. He began to lecture me about how i don't pay attention and I lost it. I try to explain that there is a thing called chemo brain and his answer is chemo is over. I wish that were true. He just isn't a tender compassionate person, a bit of a caveman really. The other night he asked me is he macho and i said yes. He is all testosterone. 0 -
mjbmiller - None of us has to go in. We can chalk all this up to a learning experience we did not want. We come out of this with a much better understanding and can be there for others who are just starting their journies. So how about we just meet by the bonfire, hold hands and warm ourselves?
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Can we sing Kum Ba Yah, that's a fav campfire song?
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Hi all,
Just found this forum - ah ha! Not "younger," not "older," but right in the middle! I'm 47, and was diagnosed with IDC back in January. I've have a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed, and am now in the throes of AC, with a clinical trial of TDM1 to follow. When it comes to kids, I've got all bases covered! My oldest three (girl, boy, girl) are 22,20 and 18, and then I have 5 yr old identical twin girls (surprise!) with my second husband.
I can't go through 323 pages... but from what I've read, sounds like a lovely group of women in here. Glad to have found it!
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Cellom - Welcome sounds like you have your hands full already. I am also 47. I pray that you will do well with the chemo. There are a few going through it now too. The AC round was the worst for me but it really does go by fast.
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welcome cellomom....we have our moments:)
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She is still in my prayers until I hear otherwise!
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Carol is there any chance your hub would read a book for husbands of women with breast cancer? Breast Cancer Husband is a very popular book that many "macho" men admit to having read. You don't have to read it before or during tx, it can be after and still help a whole lot. If you can catch him in a weak moment, print this and leave at his spot!! Here's a link to the Amazon price for the book. http://www.amazon.com/Breast-Cancer-Husband-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/1579548334
Cellomom, welcome! Not the club you wanted to pay dues for, but this is a good place to be. I hope your chemo journey goes quickly and as uneventfully as possible for you.
Eli, are they the maidens of Spring at the top? Speaking of which ... Happy Spring everyone!!!
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elimar .. You are correct, I post over on that thread as well! You are so cute just to remember me!
Vicki Sam
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marleagal thanks for the info I doubt that he would read it. he is very preoccupied with our financial issues of trying to get a business off the ground. I wish he was more sensitive. but not happening.0
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Carol, I know mine would not have either, but I hear some do
I hope you come let us hold your hand, lift your spirits, and help carry you through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.0 -
My ex-husband was such an insensitive jerk! I remember when the doctor diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and I finally knew what was wrong with me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and telling him about it, and reading the symptoms from some information they had given me. He started walking around the room getting ready to take a shower, totally ignoring what I was saying. I started crying and kept reading anyway - I couldn't believe he was being so cold-hearted and hateful and completely shutting me out. We get along now - because we have a son together - but I will never forget that night as long as I live.
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I am sorry HeartnSoul...glad you have moved on and have the dignity to get along for your son. That is just pure class on your part.
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Welcome Cellomom - This is a great bunch of ladies - lots of info and support. Sorry you had to join our club. Hope chemo goes well for you.
HeartnSoul - Glad you have moved on and gotten on with your life. Sorry to hear the ex was such a jerk.
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well we had a talk and he admits he is not a compassionate guy but he does not know what to do about it. He is a difficult person to get along with for anyone. I guess thats what i get for marrying a tortured soul but we have that in common.
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