The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Tears are like farts; better out than in!!
So if you hear a siren, aren't you suppoed to like, do something? What's the point of staying in bed then? Why wake you up to tell you there is an emergency if you don't have to go somewhere?
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"So if you hear a siren, aren't you supposed to like, do something?"
LOL, Barbe -- yes, you're supposed to do something. My dh's approach is to pour himself a shot of bourbon and lean back farther in his recliner. We happen to live too far out in the country to even hear the sirens, since they're placed where regular people live (i.e., in towns). Even so, I usually wake up when there's a nighttime storm. I'll hop out of bed, turn on the TV (which is usually out because the satellite signal is interrupted by "rain fade"), turn on the NOAA weather radio (which usually has a computerized voice broadcasting the long-range forecast for next week), and ... go back to bed. Hubs doesn't even wake up. The next morning, he'll say, "What storm?".
The good thing is that our tornadoes here in the Deep South are generally small. Two days ago, there were a couple of "F-zero" tornadoes that left streaks of messed-up pine trees elsewhere in my state. Occasionally, there will be a nasty one that tears up buildings (not just trailer houses) and kills people; but that's rare here. It's a whole different thing in the midwestern U.S., though. Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, Nebraska -- they get horrific tornadoes that are blocks wide and plow miles-long paths. Hubs is from Oklahoma, and I think his childhood experience has numbed him. What we experience here as "high winds" would be a normal, windy day where he grew up.
The warnings are getting more precise, though. NWS is trying to focus the warning to just the area that's in range of the storm, rather than the whole bloomin' county (or the 5-county metro area, as they did where I lived in a previous life).
otter
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One pet peeve involves PAs or nurses in doctor's offices who do my prelimary workup prior to my seeing the doctors. Too many of them apparently never read the patient's chart ahead of time, because in several doctor's offices, including my gyn's office and even my PCP's office, I've been perkily asked if I'm keeping up with my mammograms. I had a bilat mx 3 years ago with DIEP recon. I usually let the question hang for a few moments, then answer gravely, "No, I am not. I have no more mammos to gram." (Line stolen from someone here on BCO.) Most of them have the grace to be embarassed, but apparently not enough to learn a lesson, because it inevitably happens again on my next visit.
I have my annual visit to my gyn tomorrow. If it happens again, I'm determined to just play along with a straight face and see how long it takes. I imagine the conversation going something like this:
Miss Perky: "Are you keeping up with your annual mammograms?"
Me: "No, my last one was in, oh, 2007 or so."
Miss Perky: "Oh, you really should keep up with them!"
Me: "Why? What could happen to me if I don't?"
And I'll just keep going on, straight-faced, from there until she finally figures it out.
What do you think? Too mean??
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No, it sounds awesome! Please keep us updated on how that one went, I foresee a lot of sisters rolling on the floor laughing.
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NatsFan - that is awesome!
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That sounds like a good plan to me NatsFan, my chest is concave from the chainsaw they used to do my mx but still the techs always ask me to take my bra off when I go for any kind of scan.
WTH? Did you not even look at me? LOL
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No more mammos to gram...love it!
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barbe- You know, you are right. I always wonder why people feel the need to tell me something horrible that someone said about me that I most likely would never had heard about?! It is confounding!
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OMG... I just posted on another topic - how do you start a new topic - because for the past 2 years I've been asked to have yearly mammogram of my foobs. They never found my biopsy marker so I did think a mammo might show that.
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NatsFan, you must come back and tell us how it goes tomorrow. I love the deadpan approach. "Why? What could happen to me if I don't?" Heh heh.
otter
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i'll be cking in tommorrow to hear what happens , too. we gotta keep them on their toes, and humor takes the frustration of it happenning over and over again.. 3jays
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Haven't done a reunion since te 20th------had a reconnect with an old beau------wasn't worth it. Not with my life partner and love. Sheila
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After my first cancer was found in December I was planning to have a lumpectomy. Several people asked me if I was sure that's what I really wanted to do because THEY would have a BMX "in a heartbeat". Then, when my second cancer was found a week later and I decided on a BMX rather than a single MX several people suggested that I was going "overboard", that I was being too drastic, and should get another opinion.
I know my nerves are probably a bit raw right now, but I am really tired of all the weird emails about what causes breast cancer (underwire bras, deodorant, exposure to chemicals, etc, etc, etc). Suddenly people think it's "helpful" to forward to me any and all emails and articles about breast cancer that come their way.
Surgery: NSBMX with TE 2/16/11
Diagnosis: Left ILC, 8mm, Stage 1b, Grade 1, SBR Score 5/9, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2 -
Second area of lobular neoplasia and multiple foci ADH
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Nats fan, that doesn't just happen with the aids checking you in. Last time I went in for a physical, I had to see a new doctor in the office due to my doctor leaving. He was starting the exam and asked about my mammo schedule. I told him I had a bilat with recon because of breast cancer. he just said 'ok', then when he was starting to do a cbe, he once again asked about mammos. I looked him straight in the eye and told him 'they are fake - my real ones tried to kill me'. I think I finally got it through his head. Needless to say, I have once again changed physicians trying to find one that I like. Although I like your idea of going along with the questions until they finally 'get it'.
Sheila
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I'm coming back tomorrow to hear what happened at your app't Nats, play along right to the very end. I would bet the farm on it going on forever... she/he may never get it. The aid that weighed me before my app't asked how I had lost the 7lbs. "chemo" I replied... she was very embarrassed. The thing was I didn't even hesitate.. I said it before I even thought, but geeeeez I am tired of the thoughtlessness.
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What is with these med people neglecting to read charts? Hey, Natsfan, I like your idea of going on with the questions in the (likely) scenario that, once again, your chart is not read. You might, at the point they get it and and get embarrassed, say very sweetly, "You know, dear, if you read patients' charts before starting it would help." Then smile and pat her hand.
Leah
Edited to add: the part about patting her hand while you smile sweetly is very necessary.
Diagnosis: 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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i thought we might just need one right about now hahaha3jays 0 -
You all have me nervous to go for my annual exam this summer with my regular doctor who I haven't seen since my diagnosis. I think I've gotten spoiled at my cancer center because I kind of stick out since I'm so much younger than everybody else (27), and I don't even have to tell the receptionists my name any longer. I must say what a comfort it is not to re-hash everything with every doctor since each department (rads, chemo, surgery, etc.) has team meetings to discuss each patient's comprehensive care. I wish everybody had that & didn't have to deal with the hassle of instructing your doctors--that shouldn't be your main concern right now.
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Well, all that preparing for nothing - they actually read the chart before coming in and I wasn't asked THE question! So that's a good thing, but geez - the one time I was ready with a plan, and they tricked me by not asking it!
But now I have a plan of action for the future - if it doesn't happen there, you know it's going to happen at another doctor's office. Leah - agree on the smiling sweetly and hand-patting part!
That just completes the scenerio.Smile on - your name is the perfect way to handle it at your next exam with your regular doctor - when you're asked about mammograms, etc - just play along and keep smiling!! They'll get it eventually.
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Nats--how disappointing! I"m going to tuck away your plan for my next go- around with the medical community!
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I have a good response to this question today. Yesterday, I received an email titled "Cancer" from my neighbor down the street. Well, this email launches into an explanation about how cancer cells are sneaky, and you can be clean for years, and blah blah blah. You can bet I gave her a piece of my mind!
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At a family gathering last week, someone asked about my prognosis. After I answered.... another family member snorted and said, "Oh Puh-lease. Once you have cancer, you have cancer. You don't get rid of it till it kills you."
The entire room went silent.
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I haven't even started the chemo yet and I have been having a really tough time recovering from my surgery. Right now I have a tunneling wound where my incision is. I get the you are so tough and brave stuff all the time. They should of seen me crying like a baby in the hospital the other day when I was getting an IV in and they had to try 3 times and get a special nurse before they got it started. What am I going to do when the big stuff hits?
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tonLee...my only response to what your family member said is "mother of god...what was s/he thinking???'....was s/he born under a rock???no feeligs? no awareness? avoid this person...cancer it not cancer and eventually..yues something will kill us unless we believe in reincarnation or rebirth...otherwise..yeah..we are all goign to die..bu seriosuly...how is what this person said helpful, supportive or funny..... wishing you patience and love...geez louise!
Sandee
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TonLee-- an idiot or other idiots such as your relative deserve no quater---I quess it's an old military term. Like Gut'em. I did it once to a nephew at the thanksgiving table. He has never again to date, made a remark to me of such a nature. I just reread that and had to laugh--i did not gut the nephew. Words were sufficient.sheila
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Barbe - " So if you hear a siren, aren't you supposed to like, do something? What's the point of staying in bed then? Why wake you up to tell you there is an emergency if you don't have to go somewhere?"
Technically, yes. But when I turned on the TV, it said the sirens were going off because there was both a tornado watch and a severe thunderstorm warning covering the area at the same time, so they set the sirens to go off then just to be on the safe side. I knew there would be rain and high wind, and possibly hail, but the worst of it was passing north of town, so I went back to bed.
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Dear geocachelinda
I do not know how each of us finds the strength to complete treatment. I am now day 20/33 rads treatment. The end is near but not near enough. I am still upset when people tell me how great I look especially after telling them I am exhausted.
I found every step of the way more painful and unpleasant than I could imagine. I hated the mastectomy, axillary lymph node disection followed by months of chemo and now rads. Don't let anyone deceive you. It is very, very difficult. But you can do it because you have to do it. For me, the most help has come from the people who love me - husband , children, sisters. I know they love me and need me and that gives me strength. I don't want to die from this disease.
I feel your suffering and will not minimize it by telling you that you are brave and strong. I will be thinking of you.
Gentle hugs, Elizabeth
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TonLee, I kind of had an opposite thing happen. I went to my GF's 80th birthday party for her mom and met with girls I went to high school with 40 years ago. When I mentioned breast cancer I got brushed off as if I had mentioned the flu! Hey there were more than 8 women in the room; now if one in eight get bc, that means I took one for the team! I felt that the cancer was very minimalized.
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tonlee...sigh....maybe you could have said...yes, cancer kills, it may kill me and it is about to kill you now as in fact it is spurring me now to wrap my hands around your stupid neck and...
no cure for stupid. but that is ok...it just gives us a yardstock against to measure ourselves and make sure we don't slip below ^the line^
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I've been absent for several days. I see a lot has gone on! I don't know about forgive and forget .. I know when you hold it in you are only hurting yourself - the other person usually has no idea you feel the way that you do! I do know, however, to try to identify and then avoid toxic people. One of my sisters (the youngest one) is so toxic they should put a HAZMAT sign over her head. I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it.
Barbe ... love that phrase - I took one for the team! You are so funny. As to what your sister told you, is she nuts? You are a beautifuly woman!
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