The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Thanks for the support, everyone! Mom actually said very little about my having a new dog yesterday. I do know that having pets creates a very small increase in risk of infection, usually when the pets aren't properly cared for. Sadie is crate trained and prefers to sleep in her crate, so that's not an issue. I am bit concerned about mutiple drains when I get home, as she is energetic and bouncy, but that can be managed. And I'm not going to send her away for a month just because my mother doesn't like the idea of dogs in the house! I'm an adult and make my own decisions and just have to learn to live with her disapproval, so there, Mom!
hymil--actually, Mom's partner LOVES dogs--the only reason he doesn't have one is because of mom. That's actually my first choice of doggie care--he works on training, gives lots of exercise and attention, and geneally had a ball as does doggie! Both he and Mom will be in Boston while I'm there, so that isn't an option this time. One of my aunts has asked to take care of Sadie. She wants to get a dog and this gives her a chance to "practice" and also to help me out.
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When I came home from a hyst a year ago, I had to watch that my bouncy dogs wouldn't jump on me, but other than watching that your drains don't get jarred or squished, you'll be fine. When all the folks were on me about keeping my acrylic nails during chemo (you'll get a cut! you'll get a fungus!), I told them I was in more danger from puppy scratches. And remind everyone how much lower your blood pressure will be from "dog therapy." Hope the trip to Boston goes well.
Off to a dog event myself this morning--
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NtiveMaine: Well I live with an immuno-suppressed spouse and we were told before he left the hospital after his transplant: No trash duty, no cleaning toilets, and no cat boxes. Nothing about dogs at all. We still had a dog at home. I think your mom is being overly nervous. I'm sure she wants you to be healthy, but sometimes moms just need to realize we are not their little kids any more.
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I just realized that Mom is moving into over protective mode as my recon date gets closer. I know she means well, and I've learned to live wtih the over-protectiveness at times. It'll all be fine, and Sadie will make recover a lot more fun and probably a little quicker.
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I thought dog saliva had antiseptic qualities.
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Antispetic saliva or not, Silly Sadie makes me laugh out loud, several times a day, and THAT is going to be a boost to my spirits before surgery and definately help with recovery afterward!
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I agree with you 100%.
My main problem was picking up my dog to sleep on my bed. Neither of my sisters would help me on this - they were scared of her. She is older and can't see that well so I showed them how to pick her but they didn't pay attention and the one time they tried they scared her as she didn't see them coming at her. Oh well, I will say I did cheat and pick her up once early one and it hurt so I then build a staircase out of all the bottom pillows in my chairs and with my help on the sides she could do it. Then later even though I was still told not to lift more than 8 lbs I did just start picking her up myself. The comfort and love she gave me was totally worth it.
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Here is a strange story about my dog Finn and my BC. He is a cocker spaniel and was 8 at the time. I am his number 1 person and he has always slept in my room in his own basket but suddenly wanted to sleep elsewhere about 6mths before my dx (we worked out later) - he just wouldn't stay in his basket at night. Although he still followed me everywhere he started distancing himself too - it was all very odd and I thought he was getting sick somehow but he seemed fine healthwise as the months went on. Once I'd had my surgery though he couldn't get close enough and even began sleeping beside my bed rather than in his basket. We think he knew the cancer was there and didn't like it but had no way to tell us. I will be worried though if he starts acting like that again!
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Native Mainer, you're right about you mother and protectiveness.
Just be glad she doesn't still remind you to go to the bathroom before you leave the house.
Leah
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raeinnz - I had a similar situation with our cat. She likes to sit beside us and have us pet her, but she doesn't like to sit on our laps. Right before my diagnosis, she started following me around in the house and meowing at me (non stop). Any time I would sit down, she was immediately on my lap. When I would get up, she would follow me. She kept this up for the 2+ months, from just prior to diagnosis until bmx. After bmx she sat with me for the first week I was home, then reverted back to her old self.
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Raeinnz and neversurrender - you are on to something. here is an article in national geographic about dogs smelling cancer on human's breath.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/01/0112_060112_dog_cancer.html
Julie E
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Julie - Fascinating, thanks for passing on that article.
neversurrender - what a lovely story about your cat - obviously she felt you needed comforting - and people say cats don't love their people!
Rae
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Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Actually, Mom does still remind me to go to the bathroom before leaving the house. But since she takes diuretics for her high blood pressure SHE has to go more often than ME now! It's become a family joke, now.
While I was donating blood for my recon surgery the nurse and I got talking about dogs, and she said that she's noticed that the closest relationships she's ever seen were between dogs and single women. My mother got a really thoughtful look on her face at that. Now she's anxious to meet Sadie!
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Well, I made it through the ceremony and being with my MIL without any cruel words -to me at least. We were having breakfast at a restaurant. She is of the depression age and does not believe in wasting anything. She got way too many scrambled eggs and tried very hard to get my DH to eat them with an insinuation he was overweight. Then later at dinner, she ordered ice cream and got too much. She tried to get me to eat it, but I had to almost yell at her--I AM DIABETIC. I cannot eat this. She stuffed herself and made herself miserable. At the end of the trip I thought, "if the next time I see her is in her coffin, will I be ok with that?" Oh yeah, no regrets.
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wow NativeMainer - In your post we have a good thing said by a medical person - just her observation.not pushy or obvious...and that your mom immediately picked up on a new way of thinking about Sadie, instead of a infection sharing time waster, she realized that Sadie is an important emotional connection for you.
Bravo! Hope more good things to come.
Julie E
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NativeMaine: I hope you went to the bathroom before you went to donate blood--and wore a coat/jacket if necessary! Now if mom decides she likes Sadie, she'll start to take over on how you care for her too since it is will become her "grand-dog"! At least mine did!
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Actually, I was in the ladies room when the nurse came to get me from the waiting room. When I got back to the waiting room there was this nurse, chatting with my mom. Then she saw me and said, OK, lets go. My response: "Go where? Who are you?" My mom told me not to be rude and do as I was told! Neither one realized that I wasn't there when she introduced herself and told my mom that she was there to take HER (mom) back to the procedure room! She made up for that rough start by getting the vein on 1 stick and talking about dogs and single women, though!
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LOL! Mothers! I just hope my adult kids don't talk about me the way I talk about mine!
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Crystal Bowersox's boyfriend broke up with her the morning of her final sing on Am Idol---guess what his name is---TONY!
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Good Heavens--that last one is ABSO-f@#(ing-LUTELY UNFORGIVABLE! What ever happened to "love your neighbor" and not causing your sister in Christ to stumble in her walk? That person should be excommunicated!
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Yes,that last one is so shocking I can hardly believe it. It's the kind of thing you never forget. I had a friend who talked about men remarrying after their wives die right after my diagnosis--I couldn't believe the audacity. And it's sad, what women do to each other. A man would never say something equivalent to a male friend. One thing I can say about these boards is that it brings out the BEST in us, from humor, to kindness.
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The women who say these things do not see themselves as individual beings separate from their husbands nor do they see other women as separate from a man. I feel sorry for these stunted women.
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This isn't actually something said, rather something I received in the mail. Since being diagnosed with breast cancer, I have written my name out in a particular way for all my medical forms, etc. The other day I got a packet in the mail, addressed in this particular way - it was from a local business, and explained how I could take care of my funeral arrangements so my family did not have to be burdened with the task. How thoughtful is that?
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Miss Sophie -- either your insurance company or your medical centre has sold its client list to either a central clearing house or to other "industries" such as the funeral industry. Are you okay with that? Doesn't the U.S. have some privacy laws which forbid this sort of thing? If it were me, I'd call the Funeral Home and ask how it got my name!
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Miss Sophie, I would write back and say sorry but i died three weeks ago and they have missed their chance, See how long it takes that rumour to get around! (or if they are so imcompetent they still write back to you to apologise....)
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Miss Sophie--call the funeral home and find out who they got your info from. Then call the doc/hospital/insurance company and tell them they violated HIPPA. Then report them to the appropriate state AND federal agencies. When you find out who is in violation of your rights I can help you find the agencies to file a complaint with. You should also consider filing a lawsuit. What happened is just plain WRONG! Also, at every appointment and contact with every doc, hospital, lab, etc, ask to speak with a supervisor and tell the supervisor you are trying to find out who gave private info to the funeral home so you can report them to the appropriate authorities since it upset you so much. Guaranteed you'll get action even if you don't actually plan to file a suit!
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hymil: LOL! That is a wonderful response! Sure got my morning off to a great start!
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Dear Ms SG (RIP) we apologise for any inconvenience caused by the timing of our recent communication. Please let us know if we can be of assistance at any point in the future as we do offer a discount to our returning customers.... faithfully.
You are right NativeMainer, it's a disgraceful abuse of personal information and in a most distressing and insensitive manner. Please note my above reply is entirely facetious and in no way intended to offend or upset anyone here. BC
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To 'hymil' - no offense taken, I thought it was hilarious. I'd like to string up whoever violated HIPPA, but I doubt anyone will own up to it. I have been to so many doctors, labs, hospitals, clinics, research facilities, etc. I think tracking down the offender would take more energy than I presently have. Perhaps I'll wait until my daughter finishes law school (10 mos.!) and I'll be her first pro bono case. Meanwhile, I'll tell the funeral home which contacted me to drop dead. So to speak...P.S. 'hymil' you have the best sense of humor/humour; if it didn't hurt to laugh right now (recent surgery) I'd invite you to tea!
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