The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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i CANNOT believe that hump of a preacher ( ive heard of many here i'll never refer to as pastor) had the gall to go to the funeral!! like.. what did she do wrong????anyway, im glad they outSANG him!! we've not heard a word here about that..
but, the latest murderer was a mile from here, and my kids KNEW him!! freaks me out, just to think about it!! its' all the news here in so. fla..which, yes , is still at freezing in the night.. sigh...but you ladies are way worse, i know.will find the bus for you, MHP70...
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there ya go .. 3jays 0 -
Insurance "case worker" called me to get some information for my case with the insurance company. Mind you this is 8 days after my bmx with diep. I had only been home for a couple days after 6 days in the hospital.
A whole bunch of questions into it, after she knew my status, she starts asking about my mental health. " In the past two weeks, have you experienced an abnormal amount of anxiety?" I'm like "Lady, two weeks ago I was facing an 11 hour surgery for a mastectomy and I've been on narcotics ever since." Then she asks the next one on the list " In the past two weeks...." I don't even remember what the question was, some mental health evaluation.....I said "are you kidding me? How can I evaluate normal?" , handed the phone to my husband and took another pain pill.....sheesh.
I'm now 13 days out and off the pain meds...yay
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I do not answer personal questions with insurance company employees. What business is it of an insurance company to ask you questions about your mental health. I just can not believe they are ever looking for a way to increase my benefits. Let them speak to my doctor.
Our rights to privacy have been eroded by those with a financial interest in our information.
Since when does an insurance company have an authentic position titled case manager? That makes it sound like someone who is working in a professional capacity that you have agreed to work with. Not a position in an organization whose interest is in their bottom line. Real case managers are trying to get you more benefits and all the ones you are entitiled to. Anyone requesting such personal information on a professional level gives you lots of information about your rights to privacy first. They do not interview you while you are under the effects of narcotics.
I must feel strongly about this. Haha
Ginger
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webu, when it comes to your father's "wig lady" run fast - in the other direction! There is no reason for a toupee to look as false as you say your father's does. Well, no reason except for he incompetence of his "wig lady".
Then, if you want wig, find someone who kows what she's doing.
All the best.
Leah
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Zogo, sounds more like they were looking for ways to say you're milking the system and should be back to work. "Oh, she's just depressed, but physically she could work!" I'd not answer questions like that unless she is in a position to prescribe medication!!! Answers would come back and bite you in the a$$.
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Stanzie- Thanks! I waited a few days to calm down and just fired off an answer to her today. Told her if she'd tell me who she spoke to I would be happy to call them and set them straight as to exactly why she and I were no longer friends. That should shut her up!
zogo- Have you suffered an abnormal amount of anxiety? WTF? What do they consider a normal amount for having your breasts removed? What a dumb ass! As a woman she should have been embarrassed for having to even asked those questions.
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Yep, I've decided that if she has the nerve to call back, I will tell her to disregard all my previous answers as I was on Oxycodone. She should have been embarrassed as a woman an a nurse! I hate stupid people.
Kate, I love your tag line! I told my husband and it cracked him up too!
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zogo- Saw it on a t-shirt at CafePress.com!
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I, too, had a "casemanger" from my insurance company call me somewhere in the time all this was being done to me. I'm a medical social worker and have been for 16 years. I let this woman have it. I asked her "why on God's green earth would I tell you anything?" I have been and am perfectly capable of speaking up for myself and getting the info I need. Needless to say, she never called back, nor has anyone else.
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I got a call from an insurance case manager a few days after I got home from a bilateral DIEP recon last summer. When she introduced herself, I asked her if she had the right person, since I had spent two years TRYING to get a case manager when I really needed the help! I then proceeded to tell her what I expected from the insurance company and what things were and were not going to happen, and that I expected her to make all that go smoothly and without any stress on me. Apparently I either frightened her or made no sense whatsoever since I got a call once a week for 2 months to find out if everything was going as I wanted! I was too drugged up to think clearly, pity, becuase I would have loved the opportunity to ask a case manager what "normal" anxiety and depression are like for someone in our position.
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yeah, like raquel welch. she has a lovely line of wigs. and cheaper, still, ACS; has a catalogue, look online.. TLC by the American Cancer Society.. i got one from each still wearing them, esp since it's cold now hehehe 3jays0
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Well, ladies, i can say that I was amazed at the phone call I got today. It was so unbelievable normal, and decent, that I could barely believe after all the stories we've been putting here.
So, I got a call from the Breast Center. Because it was over a year since my last mammogram. The lady who called was very nice and polite, introduced herself and why she was calling. Now, don't get me wrong, the Breast Center wouldn't know what happened after my diagnostic mammogram and stereotactic biopsy - it's a completely different medical center, and nobody has to update them, so I had no reason to get all fired up, they couldn't have known. So I said (quoting a famous by now saying here on bc.org) "I am sorry, but I I'm afraid have no mammies left to gram" in a very nice voice. She paused a little, then said "oh,I am sorry, did you have a bilateral mastectomy?" I said "yes". She said "I will make a note on your file here so we won't bother you anymore." short pause then "and how are you doing? did you finish your treatment? How do you feel, is everything ok? Do you need any support, I can put you in touch with the BC local group or with our social worker, and I can give you our support phone number here in case you need anything" - all this said in a very nice, warm voice. I thanked her, said that I am doing fine, that finished the greater part of the treatment, I am considered NED now and just on natural anti-hormonal, and I know the phone numbers for the local support groups and general support. She wished me the best, in a very kind voice, everything was nice and warm, so it kind of made my day. I know I probably shouldn't even have wrote it in this thread lol. But yes, it CAN happen.
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I'm waiting for results (long story- 1st path report was benign but path didn't do a microscopic exam?!- I live in the Philippines and my stuff is all in the USA now being evaluated)
Anyway, we had friends over for dinner and people started talking about testicular cancer and now if you have to have 1 ball removed, you can have a silicon one to take its place. I must have had a confused look on my face because my husband said 'what- it's like having reconstruction after a mastectomy.' Seriously?! I'm pretty sure a man could walk around with one ball for 50 years and only those individuals with access to that area would know.
He's usually pretty sensitive but that was the absolute dumbest thing I've ever heard...
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DUHH i did see on keeping up with the Kardashians they had their dog neutered; and yep fake balls! ( i cant breasts, but the dog has falls as in fake balls.. like foobs fake boobs..0
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Day--thanks for posting, it's actually good to know that there are some compassionate and intelligent people working in the health care industry!
jp63--I had heard of prothetic balls for dogs, figured there must be something similar for humans. What amuses/angers me is the assumption that dogs and men will want this, it's ok and absolutely normal part of the treatment process, but for women it's a big controversy that is EVERYONE's business!
3jays--there are lots of ways our dogs get better health care than we do, this is just one of them. I had a male dog neutuered and he never showed any sign of any self image or self esteem issues. In fact, he still humped everything he could! But we women are supposed to be "happy to be alive" and not mind any of the disfigurement, pain, etc, etc. In my next life I want to be a dog.
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OK, So I was diagnosed in late july, took off work for treatment and people at work when I returned in the fall actually said to me " well at least you had the summer off" what? really?....this is how everyone wants to have the summer off, getting treated for BC...
I know they meant well, but sometimes we all need to think before we speak!
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Praying for you Hadley!
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Hadley - Good for you! Will say a prayer for you, keep my fingers crossed, send positive vibes, and anything else that may help. You go, girl!
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Day, I am really glad you posted about that conversation with the Breast Center. It's nice to hear some good news, or at least to hear that some people are sensitive and compassionate. It's especially welcome to hear that this time of year. Warm hugs to you...
otter
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Day- I'm glad you posted! It gives us hope that the world is not completely overrun with morons! (Loved the "no mammies left to gram"!!!)
Hadley- Sounds like an awesome job!!!! I would think someone who has had BC would be the perfect candidate! Sending good thoughts you get it!
bevin- Yeah, I'm so glad I got BC over the summer so I could sit out by the pool in my bikini top and sip Pina Coladas. What a bunch of idiots!
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Day thanks for the pick-me-up. Since nice words come seldom, it is great to know that it still does happen. Hadley, saying a prayer for you. Yeah, I LOVED having two surgeries and rads this past summer. It was a real blast.
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Good luck Hadley. Prayers you get the job. I know you would add a special dimension to the job. My rad nurse is 3 years from her BC treatments. Her experience certainly gave her an insight none of the others had,not that everyone at radiation wasn't wonderful.
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Hadley-
maybe we can help you prepare for your interview???
do you have the job description? It just happens that I was reading the services offered by a local BC support group which includes A "Survivor Navigator" (who will at no time offer medical advice) will act as your personal health advocate to help you create your own survivorship plan by providing emotional support and mentoring. If the job you are applying for is actually with a particular health care facility, how might it be the same or different? Is this a newly created position? When and under what circumstances would you be put in contact with a patient?
Good grief, is it possible that I am more excited about this for you than you are yourself??
Julie E
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Day, there was a summer?
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Ginger-- exactly.
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Hadley - Best of luck with the job! We're all rooting for you!
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Hadley, the job sounds perfect. I don't think mentioning your cancer experience in the interview would hurt you, especially if you explain that you had DCIS (hopefully whoever is doing the interview would understand the difference, but if seems they don't you could explain it is a pre-cursor to invasive cancer)- Trust your instincts on whether you feel telling them feels right or not.
I am looking for work as well and I had what I feel was a very promising interview last week, but I am really scared that if they find out I had cancer they won't want to hire me. Not just because it might come back, but because for a smallish company I could raise their insurance costs substantially. But the job you are going for, your status as a survivor might actually help you- it sounds like you are qualified for it anyway though. Having the line about having an experience with breast cancer opens the door for them to ask you about it in an interview. I think you'd be perfect for the job- Good luck!
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Hadley: good luck with the interview... sending good vibs.
Summer??? I live on a beautiful quiet lake with ducks and looms and muskrats and just the best water, we have a great deck and dock, and I didn't spend more that 1/2 hour there all summer. I so missed my summer and I sure as he!! didn't enjoy anything close to resembling peace.
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Hope you get the job Hadley!
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