I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
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Hi Casaradonda I'm giving you mental (((((((hug))))))) here,
I think we're going to be reminded that we have cancer every day, especially when you have to take a pill everyday. On good days, we will forget. I'm looking through all my options. You sound like you've been through hell. I'm new to all this, fairly new. I had my breast removed because it was the right thing for ME to do, I don't want to regret any of my decisions, I have to live with them for the rest of my (hopefully) long life. I would talk to your onc, if they don't listen, get another onc. Research the care that is Best for you, so that you can have some kind of peace of mind. I'm sorry you're going through this, but keep pressing forward. I know I will get discouraged over and over again, we all will, but having very few options in this day in age scares us all, but for me, I'm in survival mode right now until I can come to terms with my "new normal" Right now, I am grateful for the amazing wonderful things in my life and having a new pair of eyes to see them with, but not grateful for the cancer, cancer is no gift. I don't even get that expression?
Hey Bookart: Drop in anytime and tell the others, we're trying to get the word about this thread, it's a safe place (I wouldn't post names, addresses or info you don't want people knowing, it still is a public forum) but I've been out here floating around for awhile, not jut on this site but in the real world, and finding other gay women with BC has not been easy. I'm going to be in a GLBT support group coming up, that I had to search high and low for. I think answers are out there, but the reality is noone is going to tell you what is best for you or where you should go to find exactly what is needed. I find that is all about finding the light switch but having to start off with the lights out, noone around and sitting on a pretty hard, cold floor but once you get up and start to taking some control, it gets better. Hang in there everyone, this is NOT an easy journey. My mother always says "Only kind of fair in life is bus fare." WISE, WISE, Woman, time to go walking in the rain.....
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great thread.
i spend my time on stage III; but i will check in here now and then.
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CS - how funny you ran into my alter ego out in cyberspace..LOL! I was curious, so I searched my name in facebook.....I didn't realize so many people shared my name. A while back, I googled my name and found out some lady with my name writes romance novels and another is some unknown actress....who knew?!
GML - BCO has a facebook page, too. Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Ardmore-PA/Breastcancerorg/40868540984
Bookart - your lyrics found like a Phranc song...awesome!
I love that this forum is active and I hope it continues :>
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Thanks Chainz I added it,
It's still raining in Boston, uggg! We are getting flooded out here! We're getting washed away, HELP!!!! Time for a bubble bath of course, hope all is well with everyone, keep moving forward!!!!
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CS - you can always send the rain out here..we'll always take it!! I can't believe the blistering temps are right around the corner :< You must have a great bathtub for bubble baths! My tub is too short and not fun so we have a hot tub instead. It's great except when you have to get out and stand in the cold air!
I hope everyone is having a great Monday!
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what's up with the 700+ views? Curiosity killed the cat...(satisfaction brought him back)
It wasn't so much rainy as it was cold here today...I froze my arse off walking the dog! Thank God spring is coming. We're supposed to be in the mid 60's this weekend, time to finish painting the spare bedroom, it's only been almost a year
I painted on a steroid high last year just about this time but I never finished the cutting and I didn't paint the ceiling...I think that will be my project this weekend while it's pretty enough to open windows and air out the paint smell. I just realized that a party I have planned is 3 days after my now planned surgery...I think I might have to move the party. Something tells me I'm not going to be up for it 3 days after getting my ankle replaced.
I'm going on my 2nd week of being able to work out again, GOD it's so good to be off that Arimidex! What a nasty, nasty drug that was for me. I so miss being active. I can't wait to be able to ride my bike again with my new ankle
Using an orthopedic boot all the time is not fun, crutches are even less fun! Hope you all are having a nice, relaxing evening!
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Navy - I'm glad you are not throwing a party three days after your ankle replacement! Also, I will no longer whine about riding my stationary bike after hearing you are going to be riding on a bike with an ankle replacement.....I feel like a weiner now...LOL!!!0
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hi gang, i'm here, too ! luckily, i've been in good health, so i haven't been checking in very often. unfortunately, though , today i went for my first mri due to tenderness, fluid buildup, possible cyst[s] - - keeping fingers crossed that it's the latter. what a noisy machine that mri is ! hope i don't have to do that again !
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Hiya Peggee,
I'm going to pray that it is absolutely nothing but a cyst and just needs to be drained. The little panic attacks go a long with BC, I'm glad to hear you are 4 years out. Keep us posted and you are very welcome here anytime you want. It's nice to have a friendly/safe zone. I'm wishing you the best and good results!
Navygirl: Yea, I thought that was a bit interesting 700 view hmm......I think it's so sad that there are so many people still closeted out there, still live in fear of losing family, friends, their job, it's sad. I'm so glad I came out at 23 and topped living a life I was not happy with, only to make people around me comfortable. It felt pretty damn good at 23 to go to my first gay pride and scream "We're here, we're queer, get use to it!!!" and this was before Ellen came out, there was no L word and being gay had a HUGE stigma, it still does but not as bad. Thank God for some strong women. Ellen Degenerous, Billie Jean King, Rachal Maddow!!! Hope everyone's doing well, post any thoughts, comments, rants, that's what the board is here for, no haters, no judgment!
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811 views and only 8 queer chicks out here? Hmm.....I'm no rocket scientist but somethings up?
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It's kind of creeping me out, actually, which is why I haven't been posting as much - it feels like being "spied on"!! I wish all the lurkers would join in the conversation, if they are lesbians, or if they are not, go read/post elsewhere!
Recently I started a thread in the "Help Me Get Through Treatment" forum and some of the women who responded started bringing up stuff I had written here in the lesbian forum but had not written about outside of the lesbian forum , and it was making me uncomfortable... This forum doesn't feel like the "safe space" it's supposed to be.
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I thought we were supposed to be 10% of the population? Oh well...
It's been a very long day, fortunately it's over
Welcome Peggee...the more the merrier!
Have a good night ladies...just checking in...
as I like to say at work when I'm leaving for the day; PEACE OUT ! (insert peace sign)
night...
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Raili irt your comment...there are lots of women who read but rarely post and lots of threads that have way more viewers than posters...there are a couple I read because they are funny or informative but rarely have anything to add; it's not that uncommon to have a lot of views but not that many posting. Ours just seems to be a bit more so on the "I'll read but not post" end of the spectrum. I'm not sure how I'd feel about others commenting on other threads about something I put in here...probably like it about as much as the people on stage IV thread like it when non-stage IV people post, eg. not at all. However, that being said; when you're out sometimes the waters get muddied a bit and I'd rather swim in muddy water than stay dry in a closet ;p0
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Evening Ladies,
Tomorrow is supposed to be 70 in New England!!!!!!! We deserve this, after such a nasty winter!
Regarding my last post......hmm.....I'm a Bostonian, so I can't help but be a little saaaaacastic.
(I can't shake this damn accent) I guess I have to fess up I'm really not a rocket scientist. I would hate to think that anyone out here is judging me or any of us because we're queer? I'm a woman who has/had breast cancer. What does me being gay have to do with anything? It's fear of the unknown ladies. It's that little fear and discomfort you see in people's eyes when you tell them you have/had breast cancer. Fear is pretty powerful stuff, it runs deep.
((((Giving you all a mental hug)))) <---that was a non confrontational hug, that hopefully did not cross any lines and meant in a very noncreepy way!
Hang in there ladies, sorry I can't make this thread safe, maybe it's all about curiousity, as long as they don't judge, this is a judgefree zone (((((((stomping feet like a 3 year old))))))))0 -
Maybe it's like seeing a wreck on the highway....everybody has to slow down and look...I would rather have people sneak peeks than post something offensive. I have read some of the stage IV posts before and am not stage IV, so perhaps it is innocent with a little bit of curiosity around what those lesbians with breast cancer are talking about. In any event, if you live in the New England states as I do...well, sort of, New York isn't technically New England...no idea why, it's in there with the rest of them...but we are due for some FABULOUS weather so let's get out there and enjoy. Have a great one everybody.
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We're dealing with the typical Texas weather here - 40's one day, 70's the next, with rain or perhaps snow, then sunshine - sometimes all on the same day! I, too, drop in on threads and don't post, so I'm OK with that. Have a great night, everyone!
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Man...I miss New England! I lived in CT for a few years; it was the best of times and the worst of times
It's so nice today, I'm in shorts
I sure wish I could play hookey tomrrow! I can't wait for the weekend...I'm going to call my bestest and see if we can plan a trip to the beach before my surgery. It should be nice enough in another month and I've got to go before I get the cast on, it'll be 4 months before I get it off permanently and I can't wait that long to go to the shore. I'd live there all summer if I could.seems quite on the boards tonight, I hope that means people are enjoying nice weather and have few problems dealing with bc related crap!
Have a good evening ladies...
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Hey ladies,
Ima lez and glad to be here! Well at least glad to be on this thread, not glad to be here because of BC. I just wanted to pop my head in to say hey and glad to see so many coming out of those closets..lol Beautiful weather here today in the land of the Buckeye
We had a nice BBQ and now it's time to take a stroll. You all have a muavelous evenin' and I will check back soon!OXOX Dee~
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I only miss the midwest or north in the middle of a scorching texas summer. Then I wish to flee to cooler climes. Maybe Maine for me, this summer, if I'm lucky. 'course there's still the blackflies to contend with. Sigh.
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BTW - I got to "forget" about BC today when I wrenched my back and the pain from that drove my lingering incision pain right outa my head. Just cancelled all appointments and sat outside in the (temporary) sunshine while my ex - sweetie that she is - planted my spring garden. Thank goodness we all get along, because my partner of almost ten years came home for lunch! We laugh about that sort of thing sometimes - "better get your girlfriend out of the house 'cause I'm coming home early!" I guess it's easy when you have no interest or intention of any hanky-panky. And I'm blessed to still be on good terms with my ex.
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Book - it's so cool your ex planted your spring garden! I am friends with all my exes...except one. I hope your incision is feeling better....gads that sounds awful.
I am off to hang out with my friends....we get together every Thursday nite for about 15 years now. We used to be wild, but now we are all getting older and it's more like a tea social...LOL!!!!
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Yeah - when did we go from barflies to homebodies? I worked at a gay bar in college and just after - extremely fun job - flirting with all the girls and guys. Nowadays I'm just as likely to hang out with my hetero friends as with my lesbo friends, although there is a group that gets together for beer and grilling or dinners now and then - I guess it's been around 10 years for that group. Some are partnered and some single - one is a six-year survivor of stage IV ovarian cancer. Most stubborn woman I know - sometimes I think that's the trick. I generally stayed friends with most of my exes, but lost touch with pretty much all of them in the last move 15 years ago. To think, I used to be a lesbian separatist, now I've raised two boys to adulthood. Getting old, I guess. LOL!0
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here here Bookart!
I think age does it to you, I use to be a HUGE partier. You become wiser more aware (hopefully) I've mellowed, even before the diagnoses, now it seems to be about finding good, decent people in the world, who aren't the black hole of emotional need ready to suck the life out of you. Before BC, I had such drama queens in my life. A big issue for most of them was their hair and that Dancing with the Stars was a repeat. I'd much rather be a homebody then give a bartender 13 buckeroo''s for a Redbull with a splash of vodka while having to endure bad techno, as women attempt to try to pull off the "Shane" look, while giving each other no eye contact (and that's if they like you)
Ma Ma Mia!
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LOL...ah, the good old days! If you'd have told me in my twenties, that by the time I was in my forties, I'd have absolutely no interest in going clubbing, I would have said you were stark raving mad! I'm only friends with on ex...and we were friends first so I'm glad we got back to being friends last. As for the rest, they are ex's for a reason and I don't keep in touch. It works out better for me that way because my partner is of the opinion that ex's as friends is not necessary. She's gotten used to the idea that I have one friend that is also an ex, but I don't think she'll ever LIKE it.
It's been 3 months since I quite the Arimidex, I can't even believe what a difference it's made. I got so much spring cleaning done yesterday, painted ceilings, painted the bathroom, got rid of some junk
It's amazing. Three, two, even a month ago I'd have never gotten all that done in a day! I wouldn't have been able to go all day without a nap! I sure hope the Femara is kind to me when I start it. My house can't take me being flat on my back all the time...there's always stuff to do I am off to get started on today's tasks...painting the kitchen and maybe the hall way
Have a great Sunday ladies!
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Hey Navy,
I hope the Femara is a lot more kind to you. Let me know how it treeats you. I am scared to death of the Tamoxifen but they don't give us many options pertaining to hormonal therapy drugs, but I think the "therapy" word is there for a reason because once you get over the surgeries, chemo, rads and hormonal treatment you need to go into therapy to tell someone how your body feels like it's falling apart. I still have surgeries in my future but I'm determined to move forward and be a lot more picky about who I let in my life. No more chasing anyone and I think it's just a very bad idea to be friends with exes (if it can happen and you started off as friends that's a bonus) That means you had the base for a friendship but most of my exes started with lust at first sight (TMI) but hey I'm honest, can't base a friendship on lust, but it sure was a wild ride. I'm picking up my life and moving on a better person, cancer put a huge fire under my ass and screamed in my ear that my life was passing me by.....to bad it took cancer to be my wake up call. Life goes on and it is what it is....have a good sunday to all, even the lurkers.
P.S. I should make a note not every relationship was lust at first sight....(always putting foot in mouth) Intelligence and substance are pretty darn sexy too, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm glad we're not all talking about cancer 24/7, everyone need a break from it, a long, long, long break.
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I feel very lucky to not have to do any follow-up. Of course, I still have to deal with the BMX incision, swelling and discomfort. I'm still figuring out how to adjust to my new normal. And I'm lucky to be friends with my ex. Other than losing touch through moves and moving on, I've been fairly friendly with exes and have always enjoyed that. But lust wasn't necessarily the first emotion, either, at least once I got past my twenties! I'm an old lezzie now - almost 50. LOL. I have to admit, I'm never sure what the attraction is - my partner says I just have the mojo. Whatever.
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Bookart, you made me LOL, I thought I was the only one who still used the word lezzie
I'm right behind you bringing up 50. I still can't wrap my brain around that, I swear, other than the fact that my body is falling apart I still feel like I'm in my twenties! My wife says I have Peter Pan syndrome, and I guess she's right. I still get excited when it's going to snow, I still love to play tag with the kids (I'm not hard to catch with a bum ankle and 30lbs extra!). I color my own birthday cards for people because it gives me a chance to color and if I had my way, I'd still be driving around in my mustang even if my wife does think I'm too old to be driving a sports car Yes, my last purchase was practical and while she was right about the convenience of it I still miss the horsepower dang it!!I hope we all have a good week, my weekend was super productive but I am wiped out and ready to go back to work so I can get some rest!
Adios Amigos!
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Health Care passed, AMEN!!!!!!!
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Definitely CS!!! I am covered under a domestic partnership with my partner's employer. The economy is causing cuts everywhere, and if that coverage gets cut I am 100% uninsurable because of my stage IV bc (unless I continue to work until I die)....that is going to change and the future looks bright :>
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I'm glad it passed just wish I knew more about it but am definitely for universal coverage. I was WILDLY FURIOUS about the tea party protestors outside of the Capital calling the black congressmen the N word and using anti-gay slurs when the gay congressman walked by. And this wasn't one "crazy" person...the crowd was "chanting" it. One of the congressmen was interviewed after and said he hadn't experienced anything like that since the 60's. I'm not sure what is more frightening...the fact that it happened or the fact that the entire country isn't outraged about it. There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.....
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