I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
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Ditto that, GML. It's outrageous. There seems to be a real shift to the conservative AND biggoted among a large portion of the population, and it's quite scary (it's probably been there all along but it wasn't PC to express it, and now it is). I've been out since the mid-1980s and I really don't want to go back in the closet. I won't. And I saw one brief posting on the internet about the name-calling, but it should be pasted across the front pages. Where's our "liberal" media now? I think they've gotten so scared about being tagged with the liberal bias thing that they lean over backwards to avoid it.
I didn't apply to a new job recently because I was afraid I would be uninsurable for future cancer problems if I left my current job. Now I have more freedom, I hope, Yay.
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That was my next question, after reading GML's post; why wasn't this all over the news? I heard about the tea party but nothing was said about them degrading people as they walked by. I have a hard time understanding why people have to be so hateful, especially when it's nothing that affects them? It seems to me that there is a large section of our population that wants things their way - or no way! Our country was supposed to be based on religious freedom, and all people were supposed to have the same rights and opportunities as everyone else, doesn't seem like that's the way it ended up. It drives me nuts when people respond with "the Bible says" because that tells me they think everyone should believe as they believe and the laws should be written according to their Bible. Where does that leave the Muslims, the Jews, the Atheists, etc.? If your beliefs are not hurting anyone, if you are not committing acts of terrorism against the United States, the you should be allowed to live your life anyway you want it. I don't care if you are a polygamist, gay, or want to stay single and slut yourself around until you're too old to go at it anymore, you should be free to do what you want. This whole thing about railroading people into a strictly hetero, one man one woman picture of marriage is just BS.
But I digress; I sure hope the healthcare reform ends up being a benefit for the people, and not a huge ass mess that we can't get out of. I'd love to see the entire bill - my guess is there are some things in there that are not going to be very popular. I sure hope I'm wrong, but I'm a little scared of what's to come. President Obama needs this to be a success if he's going to win again in 2012.
What I'd really like to see is Cable reform!!! You sit around all day waiting for an 8am-11am appointment and 2 hours after they leave the sh*t stops working, so you sit around all day on Monday for them to come fix it and by 3:30pm you still have no repair man and no call back on what is going on! I so wish I had a job where I could do that :P Can you tell what's going on in my house right now???? Grrr!
I'm going to distract myself by seeing what's happening on the boards...peace out!
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Well Said Navy girl, thing is it's still very acceptable to be homophobic.
Google "10 things that will change right away." and Health care reform. You'll get the list, not all of course. I think the "pre existing clause" is HUGE! To bad it is not implemented until 2014. This battle is still not over.
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Ha ha Navy...cable reform!! How about cost control for those charges, too? I hate waiting all day for the tech. I pulled the cancer card last time they had to come out and told them they had to call me when the technician was on the way, because I had cancer and I might be throwing up or something. They called me. LOL!! That tech was a little freaked out because I answered the door with my bald head :>
I also can't believe that story wasn't plastered all over the news. What a disgrace. I am not religious, but this reminds me of my favorite chant from the March on Washington back in '93....2,4,6,8 god does not discriminate!
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Dear Cancersucks,
I am a male physician who retired a few years ago after thirty years of seeing patients in Washington State US of A. I became interested in people who had painful neuropathies: you know sciatica, carpal tunnel syndrome, and ulnar neuropathy or just tingling fingers and feet. Over time I had many patients with painful neuropathies and many of them developed cancer of various tissue types. I worked and worked to find the cause and I think I did. I am on this site to communicate with individuals with breast cancer and in this case those individuals who are lesbian because I think there is a connection. So, if you have interest in answering some questions and if you can ask questions of others in your situation, please let me know. I will share information that I have developed and about which I am writing a book.
Yours, Norsk10
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Norsk10 - you must contact the moderators for permission for these types of posts and they are placed in a separate forum if allowed. Reporting this post.
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SIGH. I was just about to start posting in the lesbian forum again... and then I get here and find a man wanting to research us?? Nooo thank you.
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He has posted in other forums, too. They have responded by reporting the posts so I suggest we all do the same :> TO THE CURB!!!
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Good morning ladies,
Okay, that was pretty creepy. I went back and deleted a lot of my comments. I didn't really think about creepy, pathetic people that might be actually getting off on someone else's hardship or looking for any kind of a cheap thrill from this thread. I was wrong, this is not a safe space, it's a public space where anyone can lurk, observe and take notes. Geeeesh, I'm not one to ask why me but.....he addressed me personally, what's up with that? I'm going to be editing myself from now on and that's a shame but it just reminds me what kind of world we live in. Hope everybody is having a good week. CS
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Hey all, how are you doing?
I wouldn't worry about it too much CS. It's just a spammer. They have posted in quite a few threads and used specific individuals names. On open forums like these, you are going to get some weirdo creepy people, or just those trying to make a buck, and yes it's pathetic. Don't let them run you off.
Take care and have a great day!0 -
CS, my guess is that he used your name only because you were the one who started this thread, and he was just replying to the first message without reading all of the others. that's what he did in another thread, too - despite the fact that it had hundreds of posts from lots of people, he only addressed his post to the very first poster.
anyway, i'm wondering if we could somehow start a private lesbians-with-breast-cancer group, either via yahoo!groups, or via private messaging here if it's possible to send a private message to multiple people at once, or something like that... because i want to talk with you all, but i don't want us to have to censor our words/thoughts!
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I need someone to write a program that lets you revers spam people like that...I didn't see the post but it's not the first time we've had spammers on the boards...don't let 'em spook you away...deleting the post is the best thing to do...
Sitting here waiting for comcast (STILL) to come finish fixing my stuff...the irony of getting a call from their customer service people with a survey on how I like my new package...probably not what she wanted to hear. I hope she didn't take it personally!!!
I'll be back...
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CS - boards get hit by spammers every one in a while - I doubt he read anything and he just used your name because you posted. He did the same on other threads here....I hope that bozos like him don't scare any of you away from the site.
Navy - I hope one day soon you have your cable fixed!!
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Hey all,
It's probably best to watch what I say, there are some people that actually go back and read all your post and try to take anything from that to judge you. It's quite sad, it's happening on the heath care reform thread. I think I'll stay away from that, I can't believe there are some very ill informed women who don't want it and don't see that we need to have a clause that protects people with "pre existing conditions" makes me annoyed because they are both stage 0. I'm not judging them at all but they're trying to battle women who are stage 4. More than likely this bill will have more of an impact on them, not the uppidy women who are still in love with George W Bush. Grrrr............I think I'm going to stay away from that thread, it's to bad because I love politics, but these two women are clueless. I'm just waiting for her to call me a D#ke, just sad and pathetic that people have to be like that. Enjoy this bella day everyone!!!
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CS - I never posted on that chaotic (and sometimes mean) thread....I only read it once in a while but it is discouraging. There are a few who hang in there to try to set the record straight (so to speak..LOL!!), but it's a losing battle. Very sad :< There are many positive threads around that are a better use of your energy anyway. It is a wonderful spring day!!0
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CS..it's a known fact that people don't like change, even when that change will be for the better the fear of change itself can make people do horrible things. Fear makes people do horrible things. Combine the tow and you have a recipe for disaster. God bless the people that can hang in there and try to keep the conversation going, I for one have no patience for bigotry, hatred, or veiled discrimination of any kind. I consider someones inability to compromise, or their disregard for others feelings and needs -to be a form of discrimination. I know I don't have the patience for it so I just stay away. There are some women on both sides who state their opinions truthfully and respectfully; those are the ones that I COULD have a conversation with, but you have your "pot stirrers" over there who stoke the fires trying to provoke so they can stand there and say "see, that's exactly what I'm talking about" ...nope, don't have time for it. There was another that fit this description who is long gone from the boards and I say good riddance to her. I, for one, think we're better off now that she's gone. I'm all for educating people about being gay because I truly think the more they know, the less there is to fear. There's a time and a place for everything though and this person walked around with a soap box in her hand, ready to jump on it anytime she felt the least bit slighted. African Americans did not make the ground they have made against racism by standing on a soap box (ok, Malcom did -but but he, and his, was in the minority). The have made it this far by simply pushing for change in a steady and determined way. Nothing is ever gained by beating your chest and stomping your feet screaming "I'm right" ...and I think there are a lot of people who would do well to take another approach.
*sigh* can you tell I'm ready to lead a revolution of my own? I just read in curve magazine; there's an interview in there with the girl who play Marla in A league of their own" and her parting comment was that this country is headed for a revolution between the right and the left" --it's exactly what we were talking about today at lunch. It's just frightening how unwilling to compromise some have become. It's like we somehow upset the balance by pushing open the closet doors and asking to be treated equal. I thought that was the whole idea behind the constitution!
ok...I have to stop, I'm starting to sound like soap box carrying girl!!!
Maybe it's because my ankle has been super painful today and I'm cranky
I know I'm officially in menopause but I apparently still had some PMS cycles left in my brain if not in my whoo-whoo...LOL My girl starts getting close to her day and next thing you know I'M THE ONE who's PMS...wtf is up with that? Who's got the Margarita mix???
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Hey Chainz and Navy,
Navygirl sorry to hear aabout the ankle, just take it slow. I'm giving you a mental hug but I think a real one from your galfriend is much better.
Ignorance makes me mad! You're right, there are some people who are really bored, hate change and just want to stir the pot, sad? I'm letting it go, it's not worth it. I love politics, that's why I thought I would check out the thread, but some of those women are so ill informed, makes me cringe. Okay, (exhaling) I'm giving it to the higher power and making myself some tea. I feel like such an ole biddy, my plans tonight, bubble bath and tea, woot woot!!!!! There is just no stopping me tonight!!!
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LOL..sounds like a good night to me! If you like tea I have to tell you about Mighty Leaf Chamomile Citrus - once you try it you'll never want another chamomile tea! Not that I was ever a hard core drinker, but a few years ago I gave up my habit of my nightly guinness or two, and switched to that...I love it! Plus, I think it relaxes me so I usually sleep better. I swear, since I finished chemo I can't drink anything but margarita's, everything else hurts my liver and gives me a severe hangover -even 1 beer! It sucks...but since I wasn't into it anymore anyway I figure wth...
I hope everyone is having as a realxing night as cacner is!
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I stayed away from that particular thread for a reason. After your post CS I went and read several pages of the thread. Wow...a lot of hate and misunderstanding. I had to really exercise control and NOT post something as it would only invite things that would infuriate me further. The denial that people used racial slurs and homophobic language was jaw dropping. The whole tone of the thread was awful and it appears that they have removed it. But, we all know how people can be. How many of us have had that straight friend that you think is "cool" with you...until they get pissed off at you....then their true feelings come out. And Navy, I agree...I think we are headed towards a revolution between the right and the left in this country...and that is frightening. It just seems to me that all the "crazies" come from the conservative side. Anyways....enough about that.....although if it was warm in Canada I would seriously be considering retiring there. I was happy to learn that they have "free speech" also but limit that when it comes to "hate speech". LOVE IT. Have a great weekend ladies!!
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Good Morning Ya'll,
Not Texan but I thought I'd just say that...I promote doing away with hate speech. The thread actually turned around GML, I could not believe it. I think it was my great singing. I started to sing (ahem) "All we are saying, is give peace a chance." So, I have a question, has anyone or is anyone doing anything because of this BC diagnoses. I'm VERY curious. Here's my questions, feel free to answer them or feel free to say CS you're a dork and I'm not answering your questions
Have you changed your diet and if so, how?
Have you done something radical, something that put a fire under your but to get it done?
How has it changed the way you view your time on this earth?
I'm really curious to know, I'll start:
Diet, yes, yes and yes, no more meat, no more soy, avoid sugar (on a Stevia kick) very little dairy and more excercise, I walk at least 30 min a day and can't wait to get back to the gym.
I'm moving to an apartment right on the ocean and getting a motorcycle.
I've learned to stay away from petty things and petty people who are incredibly self absorbed. I found out who my true friends were with this BC diagnoses and it was a pretty brutal reality.
Off for coffee and a walk...I'm fending off some lips sores, anyone have any advice? They hurt like the dickens and I blame the chemo because my immune system is shot.
Everyone have a fantastic weekend & remember to pamper yourself in someway!!! CS
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CS...
No, although things taste different to me still.
No, although I have quit smoking. I would love to just pick up and move to the Cape (where I could wave to you from the shore!), but I work for NYS and have to wait until retirement age or guess what? I'll lose my health insurance....lol. Plus we just can't plain afford it right now.
Yes...although not as radically as I thought it might. I'd say I have more fear about fitting everything in. I have watched so many people retire and die shortly thereafter and have this fear that this shit is going to come back and get me right around retirement time. I will be good and pissed! I'm hoping that I will not be so OCD when I get back to work and take things a little easier, but we'll see.
Try some Abreva for the lip...stuff is like gold tho...about $25 for this little tiny tube but works wonders!
Have a good one!
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HOWDY to you as well!
I agree with GML, Abreva works very well but a tad expensive. Diet for me if lately: If it don't move I'm eating it. LOL I eat pretty healthy but I have been spoiling myself an not watching the portions. Of course alot of people say to cut this and that out, but I wasn't a human garbage can before I got BC so I don't see my diet as a source of why I got it. I know too many people that have gotten cancers and were in tip top shape, no drinking no smoking, vegans or ones that just eat very healthy and they still got it. I am all for doing things that you have a fire to do, but reality for me is that I have to work for health insurance and I dont have a trust fund to move to the islands somewhere. I agree with you CS, I have NO patience for petty, drama filled, OCD, mean people. I just try to stay away from that. I also found out real quick who my true friends were when I was DX, and made some even more awesome friends after. I am going for a massage this weekend, so that will be my pampering time and maybe I will get a manicure too Wishing you all a wonderful relaxing weekend!0 -
GML and Dee 1961,
Thanks for the tip, it's all about the Abreva today. Oh how I wish I had a trust fund, wouldn't that be sweet if we all did. I just scanned Craigslist pertaining to oceanfront property (renting) and I think I got really lucky.
It's cheaper than what I'm paying now, it's right on the ocean and not next to any strip. oh yes, I too work for my health insurance, I am so very lucky to have it. I seriously think they would not have removed the tumor if I had no coverage, I think that's just a very sad reality.
Dee so glad to hear you are pampering yourself!!! Am I missing out. I've never even had a manicure, to butch....okay not really. What's up with the pedicure thing, my feet are so ticklish, I can't even imagine. Okay, I had my coffee I gotta get off my *arse* in gear and start moving.
Has anyone else changed their lifestyle do to the diagnoses?
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Ya'll 're real funneh. I don't write phonetically as a rule, fortunately. I'm working one of my biggest nights this weekend, then will finally have a day off mid-week, maybe? I have several people that are offering free massages, if I can only find the time! My partner owes me a foot rub, too - whenever we both feel like it AND have the time. Sigh. Boy-free tonight, and I'm watching old NCIS while she sleeps. Sigh, again.
I try to stay away from threads that I know will get my ire up.
I've had absolutely fantastic support from friends, colleagues and family. It's been incredible. I was amazed and still am. I'm still writing thank you's.
As to what I've changed; not much. I want to exercise more and cut back on sugar (my only vice) but I haven't done much yet. I'm buying one of those small trampolines tomorrow, which will help with lymphedema, aerobic and maybe just a little bit of toning and core work. I start with bands when the order gets here. That's about the best I can do - my partner wanted to take me to the Bahamas just for a trip, but I still hurt too much and it wouldn't be much fun for me. So we will wait and go camping or something when I feel better. I hope.
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Man, I made the mistake of reading some of the reactions to the healthcare bill; bad, bad, bad idea! Not just here, but on sights like MSN and CNBC...people are just plain UGLY. It still amazes me to read people equating homosexuality with incest and beastiality. Idiots.
Cancer, IRT your question; I would say there are a few things that have changed since I was diagnosed. One, I kicked my mother out of my life. Long story short before anyone responds with "but it's your mother, you only get one, you have to work it out, blah - blah - blah; mother is viscous and for me to have cutting her off altogether as my best alternative, you know she was bad. So, I no longer deal with her. Two; I am much more aware of what I eat, what it contains, where it came from, etc. Do I avoid any one thing? No, I'm just more aware and I make better choices about what I spend my money on. Ie. milk and meat from sources where antibiotics are used, vitamins and what the binding material is, vegetables/fruit from other countries. I also make an effort to move on the days that I am feeling better and rest if I feel fatigued. Three: I don't say no as much, I try to make time for things that before I would have blown off - because there as always "later" or "next time". Four: I'm not as inclined to accept my partners excuses for not doing things...whether it's a project, a trip, or having overnight guests (both sisters with all 4 kids have come for the weekend, not something that would have happened before BC!!). I did not quit smoking for good, I do not work out 7 days a week (I'm good with 3-4) and I didn't give up sugar but I did become a lot more aware of all the hidden sugars and reduce my intake a LOT.
I'm curious to see what others have changed...or not changed
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It is amazing how awful people can be over this healthcare issue :< I'm trying not to read any of it, because it's pretty disappointing.
As for the lifestyle change, in my case the "horse is outta the barn" so I do what I want. Luckily, I always lived life like the world was ending tomorrow so I wore myself out and am okay with my new tame lifestyle of meds and scans!!
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I keep forgetting that I'm still recovering. I get constantly surprised when I can't get everything done that I'm used to doing. I'm so behind, and I've had to just let that be OK. Sort of.
My partner and kids are sucking me dry right now with their needs - I'm having trouble being protective enough of my own time and energy. It's times like this that I miss being single and being able to focus only on myself, but I would have to give up so much that I know it's not worth it. I keep telling myself that.
I need a break, that's for sure. If I can just get some time to spend doing something totally for myself, I know that I'll be fine. Maybe this weekend. Wish me luck. I really don't want to be single again - especially with no energy and no tits!0 -
And life goes on......
Chainsawz, I hear ya on the wild and crazy lifestyle, I look younger than I am (many people have told me this, not my opinion) so I hung out with others that were late 20's early 30's, who partied, partied and then partied some more.
Right now it's all about quality NOT quantity. I'm so much more selective of who I let in my life and no more chasing anyone to be in my life, cancer has made me revaluate a lot, especially who adds to your life and who just wants you there so that they can add to their life and take and take, oh no thank you. I'm looking for all things equal.
I'm breastless & single, not to be confused with restless and single.
I just don't fear being single because it was never my breast that got women's attention, it was dare I say it and be so cocky. My genuine affection and respect for women and not to mention I have a pretty darn good personality. (TOOT TOOT!!!) Also, I am into the chivalrous thing. I adore women and my personality blooms when I'm around someone who is making my heart skip a beat, giving me the pitta pats and bringing out the best in me. I'm so old school, but that's not a bad thing.
If having no breast is a deal breaker with a woman, she just did me a favor. I think it's a great weeding out tool because if I met someone who I liked and they were missing one or two body parts, heck 3 body parts and they were an awesome human being, I would paint myself lucky to have found them.
I didn't mean to rant but it's not all about the physical. I've dated some pretty attractive women (not bragging) but that's all their was, they relied on that, so it all comes down to a Randy Travis song, let me share....
(Singing off key)
They say time takes its toll on a body
Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray
Well, honey, I don't care
I ain't in love with your hair
And if it all fell out
I'd love you anyway.Love it, have a beautiful weekend everyone!
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ahh, you ladies just gave me the belly laugh I needed after tripping over one of the dogs, going down the stairs in the dark to let them out, and fell the rest of the way spraining my good ankle and I think the knee to just for good measure.
It's funny, time to myself is exactly what I wanted and needed yesterday; so, I played hookey from everyone. I didn't tell my girl - mostly because she left before me and I didn't decide it until after I laid back down to see if my tunny would settle (it was terribly upset yesterday when I woke up) and somehow, I just ended up hiding from the world. It did me a lot of good. Easier said than done with kids in the mix, I know, bookart...but sometimes we just need time to recharge. If the past two years have taught me anything, it's that everyone will get over it so do it if you need to. Life is short, do what you have to do.
Cancer, love your attitude about being boobless. It is a great way to week the ones out who don't see you for you and not what you look like. There is a reason that they say love is blind, because looks do fade (for most of us) the body does give out or betray us in any one of a million ways. I'm not the jock I was 10 years ago, I'm not skinny, I can't party, and I won't even tell you how long it's been since I've been dancing - unless holding my bird on my arm and swaying back and forth counts
I have plans for golf tomorrow, I certainly hope my trip down the stairs doesn't interfere with that plan!!
Enjoy the day everyone!
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Glad we could amuse, navygirl. I got out today and worked on something for myself, so I'm feeling better. I'm planning on some other things, too. Hope your ankle and knee get better soon.
And Cancersucks, you are so right about your attitude - if the no boob thing bugs someone they should take a hike. My love has joked that we look like yin/yang when we hug. LOL. At least we can joke about it.
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