I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
Comments
-
When I had my bmx my partner came with me to appointments and such and if anyone had a problem with it, they kept it to themselves.
JJ
0 -
Professor50, sounds like you are raising your son right! It's really hard to find other lesbian couples who are stable and sane where we live but if/when we do find them we hang on because they are hard to find. I don't know if it's a Texas thing or what. LOL! We met a lot of really awesome people on the Olivia cruise we went on. I hope it's okay to share of a pic of us. I love us.
0 -
That's a lovely pic!
Our son is 11 years old. He is a character and often reminds us that our opinions on things that are of importance to him (primarily video games and Youtube) are of limited value because we are "two middle aged lesbians". He's a hoot and a sweetheart and very passionate about equality. When we got married last summer he presented us to the judge (like the father of the bride would do). It was very very emotional, as you can imagine.
0 -
That's so adorable and wonderful!!
0 -
Love the photo, such happiness!
My partner and I have been together for 34 years and raised three children together. All during high school our middle son had Friday night sleepovers at our house. He had a group of five or six close friends, and aside from the occasional need for a 2 AM please shut up, we totally enjoyed their company. One of them came from a very redneck family, with unexpectedly homophobic belief systems for the bay area. I didn't realize this for the longest time, because he was always so polite around us. But our son let us know that the friend struggled some but thought that we were just great. When marriage became legal in California and we were talking about whether to get married, this young man came to us and said, I know I'm scruffy, but I clean up good, I'm pretty sure where I can get a tux. and I would be your best man any day. We didn't end up deciding to get married, though we are still very happily together, so I didn't get a chance to take him up on his offer. But it brought tears to my eyes and I think his mind was changed forever by the time he spent in our home over those years. We still hug when we see each other on the street , or when the old gang gets together for some sporting event or another and invites the moms to join.
0 -
Oh I love to hear stories like that. Changing one mind at a time. That seems to be the only way to do it for some. Compassion only comes with personal experience for them. I don't like it but I'm glad it can be done some way and maybe he will help change the minds of others, like a big web of awesome. That's amazing how long you have been together! We have been together only 5 years and it has flown by but it's longer than any other relationship I tried to have before coming out (duh) and by FAR the happiest. Well the first really happy one that just keeps getting better. I am totally amazed. One day we'll get to 34 years too. I have no doubts. :-)
0 -
Brandi, you and your husbutch are so beautiful together! What a lovely picture.
I am loving these stories. They are really cheering me up after a tough week. Hmm. Can I send a picture? Do I even know how?
This is my beautiful daughter. She is the most beautiful girl in the world!
0 -
Brandi, I would bet on you making it to 34+ years too! It sounds like you have learned loving and open communication with each other, and with that everything else comes along easy. From your footnote dates I'm guessing you likely just had your second round of AC. How are you doing?
BoBo - your daughter is indeed gorgeous! A smile to melt hearts everywhere, and an impy toughness shining through as well. One of my three had significant special needs. For me, it really intensified both the joys and challenges of parenting. It must be tough dealing with both your and her needs right now!
0 -
Brandi, What Olivia cruise? I've done 5, the last being the 2014 Thanksgiving cruise with Bonnie Raitt. Hope you were there to see that. And one of the comedians, Poppy Champlin, kept me in stitches. Bad weather but how can you go wrong with 1,300 lesbians on board?
0 -
TTFan I love that story. That is just amazing.
It is really crazy how fast times are changing. One day my wife and I were at a school function for our son when he was in 3rd grade. He was sitting a few rows in front of us with his class and he turned around and spoke with me. Then he had something to say to his other mom. The boy next to him said, "who is that lady?" and our son said, "That's my mom." then the boy said, "Then who is that other lady?" And our son said, "That's my other mom. I have 2." The kid just looked at him puzzled and our son clarified,"They're lesbians." And the other kid said, "Oh! Right." and just nodded and they both went on about their business. Such a big nonevent.
0 -
Bobogirl, Gorgeous girl! Love her silly glasses.
TTfan, The 2nd week of my 2nd chemo has been brutal. I'm not going to lie. More nausea and I've gone from one extreme to the other in the #2 department. Embarrassing but OMG painful! I finally caved and said I'd do disability through this. It's kicking my butt.
Sarah we went on the Western Carribean cruise in 2012. I wanted to see the Mayan ruins during the year their calendar ran out. It was such an incredible experience!
0 -
Lurking here as an outsider so hope you don't mind my chiming in. I was always a tom boy but met an amazing man 40 years ago who wanted to marry me and we have been together ever since. My 2 children are both LBTGQ. How's that for genetics?
I've been reading your threads to develop more sensitivity to what they encounter in the health care world. I'm also scared s#%^less that they might get this cursed disease. I have to say that the people who have been the most supportive and nurturing to me in the shock of having to have surgery have been some of the friends who were well endowed and opted to get top jobs or their sanity. They are rather gender fluid and have had many struggles along the way
Hope I'm not out of line saying hello. Cancer sucks no matter who your significant other is. So glad these groups are hear for each other. BTW I'm loving flat and free. There is a wonderful group flat and fabulous.org No recon for me., but to each his own. Got my buzz yesterday before the hair falls out in a week or two. My daughter joked I could go bar hopping with her and pass now. (Just kidding- she is with an amazing woman I adore)
0 -
Brandi - I'm sorry AC is giving you such a hard time, just keep reminding yourself when you can that it's giving cancer an even harder time so it never has the nerve to come back! I know my TH regimen is easier, but I sure can relate to the endless GI swings in direction especially during the second half of my 12 weeks. Sometimes I think I should just wash the Imodium down with some prune juice and let my system figure out what the heck it needs to stay in balance. For nausea, Ativan has been my best friend - better than Zofran or Compazine. Once I figured that out, I rarely had to suffer long. And it seems to be less constipating than the other two. And going on disability is NOT caving, it's caring for yourself. I toughed it out working through the first two months of chemo before I went out on disability and wish I'd done it a lot sooner!
Chloesmom - speaking for myself, I welcome you here. You sound like a great and supportive Mom and I wish you all the best as you go through chemo!
Professor, thanks, I love the story too. It's such a great example of actions speaking louder than words. He felt loved and cared for in our home and the homophobia his parents taught him didn't go away with discussion or argument, but it couldn't survive his direct experience.
0 -
TTfan, thanks for the words of encouragement. I did start doing sitz baths and I think that is helping. Currently I am taking 4 stool softeners a day and then when it's still too painful I chase it with a bit of prune juice but I'm learning that the prune juice makes a huge difference so I don't need much. Just drinking lots of water. Of course the damage is done now so it's all excruciating but I think it can heal on it's own. I just have to be very diligent in staying on top of everything. Now that I'm not working, I can rest more and I think things will go more smoothly (pun intended). I can also do more around the house so my poor honey isn't left doing everything and then also helping me pick myself up off the floor when I run myself into the ground with working. It totally doesn't make sense to spend my only good hours working. I can actually enjoy the few good days I have. I consider this a learning experience and life journey. I'm already learning so much. I've learned that there are a LOT of people who love and care about us. I have a group with about 150 cheerleaders in it and they are so positive and amazing. I'm learning what's most important in my life and it's not my job. I'm learning how to take it easy so I don't wear myself out and I'm learning to celebrate every little victory that I have, no matter how small.
0 -
Brandi, I am one of your cheerleaders! Go Brandi go! You sound like you have made a good choice for yourself and for your sweet partner. Don't overdo it though! I picture you whooshing around getting a last-minute candlelight dinner ready for when your sweetie comes home from work
TT, you are spot-on with my daughter! You saw her impish toughness! That describes her perfectly. Whew! She has a million challenges, but she is well enough to sass us and run us into the ground!
Professor, I can't get enough of the stories about your son. I love it when he says, 'They are lesbians.' I can just hear his reasoned voice! XXX
0 -
Oh, and p.s. -- Is Bonnie Raitt one of us? Could that be true?
0 -
Wishful thinking bobo girl
I don't think Bonnie is one of us but she is very open and supportive. I just saw her on an Olivia cruise Thanksgiving week. She and Chris Williamson are great friends and Chris got her there. It was a very intimate setting with only 1 or two other people playing with her, not her full band. She looked like she really enjoyed playing for a group of lesbians and was playful with the audience. She totally blasted "Let's give 'em something to talk about".0 -
Oh, Sarah, you got me!
0 -
bobogirl, I can barely lift a finger without getting fussed at! Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and it was awesome! That was all I did though. A few weeks ago I was outside cutting bushes for only about 10 minutes and I almost broke a glass after just trying to take a drink. Ha! Guess I found out what my limits are. I'm being much more careful now.
0 -
Yes, Brandi! This is a time in your life to be 'lazy.' Put on cute lounge outfit and eat something yummy! XXX
0 -
Social Support and Sexual Minority Women with Breast Cancer
Hello, I am conducting a research study on social support and sexual minority women (lesbian, bisexual, women who have sex with women, trans women, etc.) who have had breast cancer. A full description of the study is available at the link to the survey at the end of this post. If this survey applies to you, I hope you will consider participating. As this is a very small population and difficult to find, I am also hoping you can help me reach other women by sharing this link with your networks or with any individuals you know for whom this survey would be appropriate, or who may know someone themselves who might be appropriate.
Your experiences are important to me, and your help would be greatly appreciated.
Please let me know if you have any questions, and thank you for your help!
Maria T. Brown, LMSW, PhD
Syracuse University
https://syracuseuniversity.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_0rlucU4S6ThIejz
0 -
Mariabgood I did the survey and posted the link to a few of the facebook groups I'm in.
0 -
Mariabgood, I just noticed you said trans women... Do you mean transmen or really transwomen? Transmen are female to male.
0 -
Although I've been a bc.org member since 2009 I have to be honest and say that I created this new profile to vent about a personal event in my life. Although I've created a new name, my diagnosis information is my own. I've come here because I have found that people on this site are very caring, open, accepting and supportive. However, if it's not appropriate that I post here just let me know and I'll go away, or if you would recommend another topic please do.
I am not lesbian, but I haven't found another place here that felt comfortable to discuss what has happened and I really need an outlet.
My husband of 30 years has just confided in me that for the last 6 years he has been publicly cross dressing (I'm new to this so please pardon me if I don't have all the terminology down yet), I'm not sure if I should term him as a trans-woman because he does insist that he is not sexually attracted or active with other trans-women or gay men and he does not want to transition. He has been attending trans social gatherings in both our home state and another state where we have a 2nd home, it's near Vegas, so he's also gone to some Vegas events. He has a facebook page where he and his trans friends post pictures of their outings. Shockingly to me he is a very attractive woman, has a great wardrobe, is a great dancer and has a ton of girlfriends! The man I married had a full beard, is into football, sailing, skiing, fast cars and motorcycles, is a terrible dancer and socially reserved. He is smart, funny, very successful in his profession, gets along well with people of all types, is good to his mom and siblings., etc....
He finally felt comfortable telling me his secret because I recently confided in him that our 17 year old son had confided to me about a desire to cross-dress. He is into anime and wanted to cross-play at an upcoming anime convention. He also said he wanted my permission to drop his high school language course to take a psychology course instead to try to figure this out. I helped him buy his cross-play outfits and also helped him with makeup techniques. On his own, he found silicon breasts and purchased a lovely bra. Although, he did ask me for a cup size recommendation!
So my dilemma is that my DH wants to stay in the closet from our families and friends. I hope my story represents me as liberal, non-judge mental person. Having lived my whole life as a cis-person I just don't know where to begin. I want my son to be comfortable with who he is, I don't want him to feel bad about himself, yet I also don't want to make too much of this if it's just a curiosity on his part. I apologize if that sounds condescending. I just have so many questions!!!
My husband has invited me to go to an event with him to meet some of his trans friends, he's told me a lot about them. Some are like him and enjoy this as an evening out to let loose, some are closeted and some not and others have either transitioned or are in the process. I want to go, but feel a little afraid to see him like that. I love him, his alter ego is so different from the man I know and fell in love with and I don't want to lose that version of him. I hope that makes sense. But at the same time I feel that she and I could be friends and that I could have both, my husband and a new girl friend. Oh my, it's a lot to take in. I think I might need to see a shrink!
Thanks for reading.
GiGi
0 -
Hi GiGi... I'll just say that cross dressing is totally different from transgender and also a person's gender identity is totally separate from their sexual orientation. For example, if a female transitions to a male or feels male, they would be a transman and if they were attracted to other men, regardless of if they are cis-gender or trans, they would consider themselves a gay man. Hope that clears things up a little.
0 -
Hi again. I checked into the thread in early February. Since then I've had a BMX, am now in chemo, and will have radiation soon. Unlike the two biopsies that required no disclosure other than my wife listed in my medical records, these treatments are very out with my wife present and identified. We have had absolutely no negativity, and have had positive acceptance, across 3 different facilities. I need to write their administrators to say that their training or standards for all staff are effective. Go, I-5 corridor!
Me: I'll be presenting on a panel at a professional conference, but I'll only be with a group of people for a couple of hours and I'll wear a mask if I need to.
Medical Oncologist: What are you presenting on?
Me: It's a panel on post-colonialism and non-majority populations for therapists. We'll be giving personal stories, as well as recommendations and reading lists that associate our lives with clinical best practices. I'm presenting on LGBTQ people.
Medical Oncologist: That sounds really interesting. Great!
My wife is bi and says she finds flat chests hot, too. She also said that because she's seeing my torso a lot (shirts are still very uncomfortable for me and I'm rarely wearing them at home), she's starting to think her breasts look weird when she sees them in a mirror.
0 -
Hi Susan, I just stumbled across this board, seems a little quieter than our regular one. We are both on the March chemo thread, and I think we're both in Oregon. I had a bilateral mastectomy in January and just finished TC last week. I'm not in a relationship through this but my lgbt gang of friends and supporters have been treated great throughout my hospitalization and treatments.
0 -
It takes a village! I have one more TC go go before radiation.
0 -
Congratulations to my friends and neighbors whose option to marry has become their decision, not their state government's.
0 -
I am unable to go this year but I bet Pride in Cleveland tomorrow will be ROCKIN. This is long overdue.
0
