I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
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Hello Sullivan
You are NOT alone...hello from Florida!
Lesbians seem to be a major minority here, lets stick together!
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Welcome! We are a minority as to who returns regularly...I check in a couple of times during the day. I didn't have a lot of support at the beginnging.... I know it's hard.
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sharing my wedding pic from last week:
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CONGRATS!!!! Such a beautiful couple!!
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This is the best thing I have read in a awhile :-) Happy tears and kleenex necessary. Congrats for your milestones of love and self discovery!
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thanks all! Why is this board so quiet ?!
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What a beautiful picture of the two of you. Congratulations!!
I just had my second surgery June 20th. I had my first bilateral nipple-sparing August 22nd, 2013 for DCIS. This year I had a total bmx for Stage 3 IDC. It's been a long battle but I am now cancer-free.
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yeah poodle mom!!!
I finished 20 was of chemo 3 weeks before my wedding. Just had 2 of 33 rads. Visit with MO today was all good news.
Had that friggen port pulled 20 days PFC
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I'm out here too!
My wife and I were married last September. She is British (as are my step children), and we've been going through a wildly expensive immigration process for them in the wake of DOMA's demise. We're grateful that it seems to have ended happily, just days before my first chemotherapy round, with green cards on the way for the three of them! Now just have to get the scratch together to pay our lawyer!
I can report that, with the exception of a clearly homophobic Dr. of Radiology (who's actually a Mormon transplant from Utah...no offense to either Mormons or Utah), the health care providers here in Lexington, Kentucky have been wonderful about our non-traditional family. I think we've even become rather beloved at the hospital and clinic where I'm seen most often!
I was diagnosed in May--double-mastectomy, axillary dissection, got the port last Tue., first chemo round was yesterday. Side Effects seem under control and I'll try to function normally at work this week. (I'm a corporate trainer for AAA.)
It's nice to be here... hope to hear from others..
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Oh... and since jbokland shared that BEAUTIFUL pic, I thought I'd include a smiley closeup of my wife and I on the courthouse steps in Maryland, just minutes after our marriage ceremony:
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Nice to meet you Susan!
Funny story- I ready medical records and the doc said. "patient's partner is a homosexual"! I guess she is the only gay one on this relationship!
Best wishes and stay in touch!!
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That's a novel, and incredibly awkward, way to describe your relationship! Maybe she IS the only gay one in the relationship. You could spend an evening together making sure. For science' sake. ; )
We had to make a bit of a kerfuffle at the hospital so that the staff knew our marriage was LEGAL and that that's not just not what we "call each other." Absolutely no one was snarky about it, but the intake nurse had to write down on two separate forms that the marriage was legally performed in Maryland. Interpersonally, I think we became a cause celebre in the place, but paperwork is always the weird part for everyone, I think.
Took unpremeditated, four-hour chemo nap earlier today. Appetite ok. Any advice for the chemo newbie? Any advice for wrangling a very anxious wife?
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No sugar coating. AC is rough! Your wife's job is to keep you hydrated, eating and laughing. Your job is to stay focused and for god sakes NO WHINING!
You might want to find some medical marijuana. It helped me greatly during AC.
http://www.myfoxorlando.com/clip/10103831/orlando-cancer-patient-proud-of-marijuana-use
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Thanks for the recommendation! I've had a very icky reaction to the compazine prescribed for nausea. Essentially, my four hour nap was followed by a 12 hour one--a lot of fuzziness and lack of appetite. Don't believe it's all the chemo; seems like side effects of this drug. Once I stopped taking it today, things evened out considerably! Perhaps medical mary jane is the better option...?
Wife is admirably plying me with food and drink. She promises to work on the laughing bit! In the meantime, she confesses she has Obsessive Wife Syndrome and has been chronicling on OneNote all my eating, drinking, excreting, sleeping, etc. (I hope it will help us next round!) Focus is tough but the 'no whining' part is ok. I even logged in to work for about two hours and completed a presentation that isn't due for a month. That makes me feel quite worthy.
Any other recommendations? I'm all ears!
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Ah...my wife became a complete care drill-Sargent! She made a 3 ring binder she labeled Jeanette's owners manual. She organized and cataloged every appointment, lab result, pamphlet and log of everything thing I ate, every medication, vitals, etc. It gave her a sense of control, when she could not protect me. She is absolutely a 'white knight' and this was her way to do what she could.
I hated the Compazine and Zofran.....felt drugged and sleepy with the nausea at a dull roar. Did nothing for my appetite or state of mind!
Funny, since I did that news spot, I have done several radio spots and speaking engagements. I did not intend to be the Norma Ray for cannabis for cancer!
Have you lost your hair yet?
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Welcome Fayette!! So glad things with your family are working out!! We are stuck in the South where our relationship is not yet recognized legally but everyone at all the Docs offices and all the hospitals have been incredibly kind. I got lucky and got to skip the chemo so I have no advice for you.
As for your wife, keep communication open all the time. Mel was all over me like white on rice! I made the binder and she wrote EVERYTHING down during my recoveries from my surgeries. My PS got a kick out of her because she even documented my bathroom habits. lol It was good for her to feel like she had some control over things that were out of our hands. Yes Mel is a type A personality and I spoil her! My best advice for you is to keep talking and laughing! Stay strong!
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Jeannette your post about the comment in your chart made my day! Too funny!
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Your Mel and my Linda must be related!
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I'm going to mention to Catherine that if she really wants to be cool, she has to get a three ring binder-- all the popular girls seem to have them! C. uses OneNote--which means she can obsessively access all my data from any computer, iPad, etc. around. She scans in anything we receive from the doctors or my insurance company. The scanning, I admit, has come in handy. And yes, it 's all about control in a very unstable sitaution. She is struggling with some medical issues this summer too, so it's been tough, but we are gentle with each other--and we know how lucky we are.
Jeanette: come up here to KY and do a few PSAs for the good folks here. I wish there were something other than compazine and Zofran--though Zofran seems to be less problematic for me. Of course, I spoke to a nurse yesterday about the problems I'd had with compazine. She sort of looked at me and said, "Well, you're tiny. If we were prescribing for body weight, we'd probably give you half the dose you're on." Well.... I haven't been wearing STILTS! (This is the second time a prescription has been double what it should be for me, with very bad side effects.) I know what you mean by the "dull roar" of nausea. It's infuriating that there is something that works better, yet so many of us have limited or no access.
I haven't lost my hair. First chemo was Friday, and I'm only starting to feel like I can see past the stronger effects. I'm a corporate trainer and will be in front of a "class" this week, so I'm keeping my short locks for the next few days. I do NOT want to have my hair fall out when I'm eating soup or all over my desk at work. So, I'm going to have it shaved next weekend. We'll take the kids and get milkshakes afterward--make a bit of a family day of it!
That's the news from the great state of K-Y!
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Onenote is great! Maybe you could get a binder to hold "the originals"
This may be TMI but last night we passed a milestone. All through the surgeries Mel has been so great about helping me dump drains, clean, rebandage and lotion up my new chest. She sees them everyday and never looks twice or has any emotion towards the new me. Last night was the first time she actually touched them intimately like she use too. I was so happy to see that side of her again. It was a sign of closure and acceptance I needed but would never talk about. She would be embarrassed I was even talking about this but I feel like it is something I need to bring up. I am a very affectionate person and it has been hard for me to not feel 100% all the time. Mel has been amazingly understanding and caring and I couldn't have asked for a better partner!
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we did a head shaving party. Made it a fund raiser for my local breast cancer group. A few days after this, I took a razor to it and went commando!
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btw...we also video taped the army meeting with docs. It helped us settle arguments about what he said. ( I usually lost!)
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Hey Ladies.... hows everyone doing?
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hey Mere!
Doing ok here! Only 6 rads left...looking forward to swimming and getting this football Playbook off my chest.
How are you??
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Hey! Ya for an ending in site!! I know that feels good!! Are you having reconstruction?
I'm doing pretty good! Got my nips last tuesday and they look AMAZING!!! hop over to the picture forum, I got my pics posted there. One more step and I will be done... We are going to New Orleans in April and Vinnie Myers is tattooing me!! YA!!
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I signed up but found the site exhausting to navigate. I will try again.
Glad to know you are doing well!!
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Jbokland I found it confusing too. My trick is to click on "home" as soon as I sign on, then just scroll down to whichever thread you want to view. My foobs are there too!
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yeah I got married to my partner 9/5/14
having trouble with my iPhone posting pics here if I get figured out ill add a picture. Insomnia seems to be a big problem now. But love of my wife and partner of previous 6 years is strong and keeping me going. 0 -
update well apparently can't post pictures from iPhone. My computer stolen some time back and I didn't replace. Our youngest daughter has laptop if I need but in college so I rarely get a chance cus she has school an homework. So maybe I can post pic later this weekend. Any ways round 4 chemo today on mass dosing first time I felt like crap immediately I have had to cut steroid in half due to causing migraine but it is still keeping me awake and nausea starts immediately. Ugh anyway glad to know there are others out there.
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lumpy. CONGRATS on the wedding! Sorry to hear your having a rough time with the treatment.
Yep. You are not alone.
Peace
Jeanette
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