thread for middle age to older Christian women.
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Today I am so grateful for hearing that Ellen is recovering well. Also for the return of Shirley's son. Praying for that precious little girl. So hard, when little ones are suffering.
Today hubby and I are planning to go to the Senior luncheon at our church. Looking fwd. to some good time with friends. Our church does this once a year to honor the older members. Pretty good night's sleep last night, thank you Jesus. Love, Jean
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Will check in later. In a hurry.
Love,
Nancy
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I feel like I am heading into some kind of melt down. I finished up rads 2 weeks ago and started on aromatase 2 weeks ago. I feel good when I am away from home but I not at home. I feel like my family has abandoned me an life is unfair. I was so angry and upset that I couldn't bring my self to get up this morning to go to church. My husband is a workaholic and it never bother me like it is bothering me now. This has been brewing for several weeks and I am feeling at the end of my line with this situation. It has been a horrible 18 months. I had a detached retina Easter Sunday 2014. It detached 3 time during 2014 but has been good since. I experience the loss of my car and damage to a rental unit to learn that my insurance company made it difficult to pay and I had lots of frustration getting repairs to the rental unit completed. My old boy (Brute) died. We had a special bond and I miss him. He helped make my lonely evening bearable. In December our church closed due to financial reasons and location. Then in July of this year cancer hit. My husband was very supportive when I was first diagnosed. He was there for surgery and recovery second opinions etc. As soon as I started radiation, he went back to his old ways. I was ok with that sorta until the fatigue hit. Then I started getting upset. I am really physically on the mend but mentally I feel like I am falling apart. Part of it is my girls are now 3 sizes different and I hate looking in the mirror. Is this normal? I have expressed my pain to my husband but he just doesn't seem to get it.
Sorry for posting such a depressing message.
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Brutersmom, I finished active treatment a few weeks ago. My wonderful chemo doc told me it is very common to have a breakdown when treatment ends. It's like we've been holding it together to get through treatment then when it's done we fall apart. Please be gentle with yourself. Others often don't understand and want us to just bounce back to "normal". You have been through a lot and need time to recover. Rest, let yourself feel your feelings, journal if it helps and reach out for help. Contact your local cancer resources, doctors and/or support groups, We are here for you and understand, having been there. Love, Jean
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27heart, I do not know much about Vinnie, but go to the Exchange thread. Many women write about having nipples redone with him, I think. That is all I know, but hope it helps.
Brutersmom, I agree that you might want to talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. I started with Arimidex the first of August. Shortly after, I was crying at every little thing. I even cried while talking to my primary care doctor. He put me on Lexapro. I quickly felt a lot better and have had no side effects. We have been through so much, and, while our family loves us, they cannot possibly understand our emotions. I did not have radiation, but I understand it does tighten up the skin and may affect the size of the Breast. You may want to see a really good plastic surgeon about what can be done if that really bothers you. But, make SURE he/she is a very good PS. However, remember, you are not your breasts! You can get a bra to take care of imperfections on the outside. It is who you are on the inside that matters. Your husband loves you for you! So do we and so does God.
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Good evening ladies,
Lot's of posts today.
Shirley, I am aware of that type of radiation but I didn't know what it was called but it sounds like a great way to go. My RO told me I was not a good candidate for it but I don't remember why she said that. Thanks for the info.
Longtime, (Allison) you're welcome.
Lucy, let me say first it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good to hear from you. I am so sorry about Gidget. I remember how cute she was and I know that was hard for you and Steve. So glad to hear you got to play at Disneyland. I can just visualize you and Steve sporting around in your scooters! I am sorry that you have been in so much pain and having trouble with the pain meds. Prayers for both of you and wisdom as you have so many decisions to make. Praying for both of you dear sister.
27heart, is this Vinnie from Baltimore, Maryland. If it is he is located on the East Coast of the USA. Is his name Vinnie Meyers I think I read? You could try a word search on the BCO general forum and I bet you would find some woman that may have been to him. Look up major airports in Baltimore and see what comes up. I don't believe anyone on our thread comes from Maryland. Glad to hear you will be finishing chemo in a few weeks. That is cause for celebration!
Ellen, praying that you are resting comfortably at home and that your rehab will be very successful and tolerable.
Brutersmom, let me first say that I am so sorry for the loss of your special pet. My cat is my world and I get it. You have had several major stressors that have piled up and you are experiencing some aftershock of all of that. Finishing treatments is hard physically but the emotional aspect can be more pronounced especially when it is all over. What many people including family members don't understand is that the emotional impact can last for a while. Some think we should just snap our fingers and instantly be back to normal and of course that is far from reality. Support groups, church groups, this thread, seeking counsel from your medical team all are avenues you could explore. I am not a marriage counselor my any means but can you have a sit down serious discussion with your DH and lay it all out for him how you feel? We can certainly pray for you hear. We have all had our times and it is okay to vent.
Cammie is going to the vet tomorrow. Please pray that they can find the source of her urinary issues. This will be the third vet that has seen her in the last few weeks. This will be her usual clinic this time.
Have a good night's rest everyone.
Love
Nancy
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Hi Lynn, we must have been posting at the same time. How are you doing?
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Hi Nancy, I am doing pretty well, in spite of the high CEA tumor marker. I went to my MO on Friday and they do not know why it is high. All tests were clear. So, I will continue to be tested every three months and watch for changes. In the meantime, I am trying to just live my life and trust God to take care of me. After all, He is in control of all of us. I am looking forward to moving to The Villages at the end of January.
Praying for your kitty, Nancy. I have one too, so I understand how special these little furry friends are.
And, you are ALL in my prayers every night.
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Dear ladies, I have been up most of the night again. Lots of pain and tears. It almost feels like I am being purged of horrors both physical and emotional. I think I have an absess in a crowned tooth. Please pray it can be easily treated. I see the surgeon on Wednesday about my hip and will need to get this dental issue resolved before any surgery. I just feel so weak between recovering from 14 months of BC treatment and lack of sleep. Hubby is really trying to be helpful but he has his own health issues. He gets very dizzy at night and has vision issues that keep him from driving except locally. He fell the other night and God kept him from injury but he really scared me. I would like to try to sell this stair filled house and move to a place more accessible but he won't consider it at present. Please pray for God to soften his heart about this if that is His will. Sorry for the rant but I needed a safe place to get this out.
Today I am grateful for a lovely Senior luncheon at my church yesterday. Also for the beauty of God's creation. Love, Jean
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Hi Jean,
I have been awake as well but due to hunger. I have not been eating well these past few weeks so I have been waking in the middle of the night and I get a snack. Today was yogurt and it was fine along with my nausea meds.
I know what you're going through regarding pain. I couldn't stand it any longer so I had to take the pain meds. It was unbearable at times and nothing helped. I'm not so caught up on everyone yet so can't recal if you're taking anything for it?
Brutersmom you are most welcome here for support and encouragement but looks like everyone has said what I would have already. Please don't wait to long to get the support you need. We all feel your pain and have experienced it somehow. Don't be afraid to ask or ashamed that's why it's there for us.
Nancy praying for Cammie and that she finds relief at the vet visit this time. I sure miss our little girl a ton. She brought us so much love and peace.
Had a good day today both Steve and I but we didn't do much. Couldn't go to church as his counts are down. Taking a blood draw on Monday to see where it's at and whether he will have treatment on Tuesday.
Have a blessed day more later. Love and prayers Lucy
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Banwoman12, Thank you for you perspective. I guess what I am feeling is somewhat normal.
After 25 years of marriage I really don't expect my DH to change. There have been so many changes this past year and a half. Some were shared by others but this journey has been the hardest. Looking forward I think I need to begin to move forward. I have been working on a limited basis. Fatigue is my biggest issue right now. I sell real estate and I just get tired so quickly. I don't have the stamina to run like I did. I did look for some support group info in my area but it seems somewhat limited. There is nothing showing up until next month. At this point I think prayer is my biggest support. No having a solid connection to a church right now is not helping. I attend regularly but I guess I keep comparing the new churches to the old and I have yet to feel at home anywhere. I am very thankful to have this discussion board to reach out to and ask questions. It has made this unwanted journey much easier than walking it alone.
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I read all of your posts yesterdayand was prepared to post last night but my Ipad is completely frozen. In the middle of transferring data to new one, but got stuck.
Anyway, I was devastated I thought I was seeing Mo or ARNP at least: nope: and no tx due to low counts. I have gotten two neupogen shots each week and it still goes down.
I think I had the reaction after all: seeing MO Wednesday to discuss: Once again I was told if I continue will end up in hospital. I looked like a 2 year old with crocodile tears and lips trembling
. The swelling is still the worst. I continue to read everynight, and continue to pray faithfully for my sisters here. I am at peace that God knows best, and He will make things happen on his time. Jo, how are YOU doing? Lucy great to see you! Nancy, hopeful you got Cammie in today, and you are well!
Hugs and love,
Kath
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Good morning ladies,
I am home alone now. Cammie (my cat) had to stay and have surgery at the vets. It has been a stressful morning as I had to keep her in her carrier for two hours so they could get a urine sample from her. I am sure my blood pressure is through the roof after that. I already knew she would be sedated today so having the surgery made sense. They did an xray and she has a rather large stone which they are removing. I will get to pick her up tomorrow and she will be on prescription cat food now forever I imagine. I was expecting the food change but the surgery completely took me off guard. I had to see her sedated when he took me back to see the xray so that was disconcerting. Thank you for your prayers. I guess my prayer request now would be that she doesn't keep forming these stones. They won't know what type of stone it is until sending it to the lab. Some can dissolve with a diet change and some won't. It is going to be over $1600 and pet insurance which I was considering after this goes by not covering preexisting conditions so obviously if she did this much I would go bankrupt.
For those who have pets I might add this tidbit of info that the vet downstate told me. Since I found out I was gluten intolerant a couple years ago I thought if changing my diet was good for people then maybe all this grain free food for pets might be a good thing too so I have been feeding Cammie the grain free food for quite a long time. Hindsight is of course always better. I am just saying that if I had to do it over again I would not have done that. This vet downstate said she saw urinary problems with cats when people used the grain free food. This vet was a cat's only vet to clarify. So you might consider that if you had been considering going grain free with your fur baby.
Jean and Lucy, praying that your pain issues are much better today.
Brutersmom, Your fatigue will improve if it was caused by radiation. My RO told me to expect it for a month. I have some other health issues which cause fatigue so I was really concerned how rads would affect me. I think it took about a month for me like she said. Once you start to feel better physically I do think some of these emotional things will start improving as well. We can certainly pray that you find a church home that you feel comfortable in. Are you still exploring churches or have you settled on this one. It does take time to feel a connection. I know getting involved in any small groups or Bible studies can certainly help but when you are physically fatigued you probably don't feel like doing much of that right now. Be patient with yourself and give your body a chance to recover and it will. We will be glad to support you here as well.
I have completed a detailed prayer sheet and I want to maybe add a few finishing touches. It is going to be somewhat overwhelming and that was the biggest reason I did not want to post it the last few months. However when we talk about certain people I realized that it would be helpful for the new people on this thread to at least have a clue who we are talking and praying for. I would suggest printing of a copy of it when I do post it and that will help with names and user names for one, and it allows for a convenient way to pray for long standing needs and obviously when people post prayer requests you can add them yourself to your own list. That is what I do otherwise I would not be able to keep everyone straight.
Have a good day lady warriors.
Love,
Nancy
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Kath, we must have posted at the same time. I am praying that you have a good work day and that you are feeling better in ALL ways today. Praying especially for the leg swelling and pain and the blood counts to dramatically improve.
Love,
Nancy
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Just got back from the dentisy. He is hoping to clear the absess with just antibiotics. The tooth had a root canal years ago. Prayer appreciated. Love, Jean
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Hi, corporate prayers going out for each of you. Nancy, thank you so much for all you do. I certainly would use the list when you have had time to post it. You have made this your ministry and our Lord is using you for His kingdom.
Kath, Jean, sorry for all you are going through. Intercessory prayers going up. Hold on to God's grace.
The Lord's blessings are flowing all around you. Just lift your eyes heavenward and reach up and claim them as your own.
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Good evening ladies,
Joanne needs our prayers. She noticed a new red area near her incision today which was not there before. She is of course very concerned about what this could mean. The possibility of more antibiotics with all of the bad reactions she has already been through with all of her meds is as you can imagine very scary and disappointing. Of course the concern of the angio sarcoma coming back is a very real concern too. She will see her PS tomorrow and hopefully will get some more information. Let's pray that God will give her a supernatural peace tonight.
Jean, I hope your antibiotics clears this abscess quickly.
Phyliss thank you. I ended up cleaning some of my carpet before Cammie comes home tomorrow so I am physically and emotionally wiped out tonight. I still need to do some touches to the prayer list and then I will post it soon.
Kath, I hope you are feeling stronger each day.
Ellen, continued prayers for you in your recovery.
Have a good night everyone.
Love,
Nancy
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Going to hip surgeon tomorrow. Please pray. Thanks, Love, Jean
Ellen, how are you doing? Jo, did you see your doctor? Any news?
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zjrosenthal… bandwoman12… JO-5
I go to surgery again the 25th of this month for the Brachytherapy baloon placement and then Radiation treatment start the following Monday.
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Am praying for Joanne, as well as all on this thread. God knows who I am talking about even when I cannot remember each name.
Nancy, how is your baby?
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Lucy, great to see you posting banners again. Praying for you and Steve.
Joanne, thanks for your banner. Praying for wisdom for you in your situation.
Shirley, we will be praying for your surgery and treatments.
Lynn, thanks for asking about Cammie. She came home this morning and is obviously in pain. I have pain meds to administer by syringe to the gums and I have not been successful before and haven't so far. It really is hard to know she is in pain and this tiny little liquid would help but I can't get near her to administer and wouldn't force the issue because of her stitches. She has been hiding under my bed for a good part of the day. She has an aggressive streak also when threatened so I think I am just going to have to watch her suffer through the next few days. Very hard to watch.
I am not happy with her vet now so I am frustrated and disappointed in some things. Thanks for your concern and your prayers for her.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy, Gosh, I wish I was there to help. I am pretty good at getting medicine into cats and dogs. If you can get her, wrap her in a towel before trying to get the medicine in her mouth. She won't like it, but try it. Hold her tight in the towel with your knees and arms to free your hands to squeeze her jaw open to get the syringe in her mouth. Talk to her the whole time. You also may want to put a blanket in a bathroom where she cannot hide, so you can get to her. It does sound like she will be OK, just in psin. Unfortunately, animals cannot understand that you are trying to make it better. Good luck! I am truly an animal lover. I carry a beach towel in my car to move turtles out of the road!
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bandwoman12 I am praying things go better with you cat. Sending prayers for you and her.
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zjrosenthal… My prayers are with you, hugs too!
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JO-5 Love your post, please keep them coming. I am sure everyone loves them. God bless you.
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Tobycc Praying for you tonight, I am back up for a while so I will use the time praying for God's healing hand to caress you in your time of need.
Shirley
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Happy Wednesday Ladies and Happy Veterans Day to any of our Veterans and the wives of Veterans. Welcome ElishebJay, I was about to leave the BC site due to one of the discussion boards being so doom and gloom, the threads were so depressing but the Kath sent me a private message and told me about this board and this is where I have come ever since.
Ladies it still tends to be a spiritual battle every where I turn these days and the enemy keeps throwing up clutter to confuse. The church issue has gotten increasingly worse but I have been fasting and praying and I know God is working it out. We may lose some members in this battle, some have already stopped tithing and the pastor has been suspended of his duties pending an inquiry, luckily our church has several other devoted members of Christ who received the calling and have been filling in to close the gap. I refuse to let anyone steal my blessing from God, I follow him, the man or woman is a vessel that he uses to instruct us, at times they too may falter and he will raise up another.
My co worker is planning on returning to work next week I spoke with her yesterday and the doctor says her margins are clear, she thanked me for being there and checking on her. All I could think of was, ever since I got the diagnosis and had to go through that roller coaster things have not been the same and that people can emphasize but only other women who had that particular experience understand the true worries and concerns that go through our head. Everyday is a new day and challenge, we know it won't break us even though there are times that we break down. God has his 'critically chosen' and we are to go forth and continue his work even in the mist of our own battles because it was never about us alone. Love you ladies, have a good week.
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Good morning ladies,
I have a furnace guy coming so have only a few seconds.
Kath, praying for your apt today and for God to give your doctor wisdom in his decisions.
Jean, praying you get some good info with your doctor so you will know what is ahead for you.
Joanne, praying for wisdom for you as you try to muddle through the variety of opposing opinions on your situation.
She, yes it seems life has become a daily battleground for many of us here. I think that is life in general as we battle against principalities especially when we make a stand for Christ. Of course he gives us respite in the battles and those we need to cherish but we also need to embrace the tough times as well because that is really where the growth in Him comes from. I pray that your church will become stronger with this situation. This happened to our church many, many years ago and it was devastating but we moved through it and are a super strong church now.
Have a great day ladies. I will tackle another day trying to give Cammie these needed meds. I can't stand to see animals suffer and this has been so hard for me as she is my baby.
Thanks for your input on helping Cammie with meds. I have tried those tricks with past pets but Cammie is a special case which makes it almost impossible. I did have a friend offer to come over this afternoon but I have an apt unfortunately that I can't miss.
Love,
Nancy
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Today I am grateful for the opportunity to meet the hip surgeon at one of the best orthopedic hospitals in the country. Also for my stepson David's willingness to drive the 5hr roundtrip to the appointment. Please continue to pray for his salvation as well as for our youngest son Mike who lives in a gay "marriage" for return to his childhood faith.
Praying this morning for peace, healing and strength for all as we battle so many challenges both physical and spiritual. we are studying the life of Paul in the Monday night women's Bible study. As I opened the study today it was about living life in the extremes as Paul did where he went from one challenge to another spreading the gospel. Truly we are in a great battle but I take great encouragement in the undisputable fact that Jesus has already won. Love, Jean
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