thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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Lita,
You are right. Our culture is afraid to talk about death because it is something everyone will do and no one wants to think about. The same way that many don't know what to say when they find out you have cancer it is magnified a 1000% when it comes to knowing what to say to someone who is dying.
I have a college professor that I have reconnected with. He has been in hospice for over a year and just keeps hanging on and on and on. He will be 101 this month. In my searching to know what to say to him I ran across some interesting blogs from people that were dying. They said they missed hearing about their friends lives because they stopped sharing any good news with them I suppose because they felt guilty because they were living. I wrote him a long heart felt letter over a year ago thinking it was my goodbye letter. I told him how much I appreciated him and how much I learned from him to pass on to my students and I appreciated his manner and his character. When I realized there would be many more letters to follow I just started sharing my life with him and my photos as I have gotten in photography as a silver lining to my bc.
I had the privilege to walk very closely with a sister on this thread in her last months. She died in March of this year. I could tell that as she got sicker she developed such a close relationship with God. I think that she discovered her relationship with Christ like peeling back an onion with layer after layer. I know that a few days before she died she was overcome with gratitude and how thankful she was for her life. I felt like God was very lovingly taking her closer and closer to Him and preparing her for her passing over.
I know that my cancer journey has changed my life in that I am really living my life now to the fullest more so than I ever have before. The fall is a spectacular time to see God's hand in nature and I have been out with my camera as many days as I can.
I pray that you can do exactly as you have mentioned and that the beauty around you can help distract from your pain. I do regularly pray for your pain. You bulldog is precious. I am glad you have her. I have a cat and she is my constant companion.
If you want to see some of my nature photos and others beautiful photos I regularly post on the Picture This thread and have recently posted some fall pics from the last few days.
Praying you can sleep tonight. Hang on to the Lord tightly. He will get you through this time.
Love,
Nancy
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Ade, we must have been typing at the same time. I just now saw your post. Your Maggie is a cutie.
Love,
Nancy
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Thank you so much, Nancy, for your thoughtful post. Your words ring true.
My brother and I were talking about how "secular" this world has become, and how "lost" so many people are these days. There is so much cavalier disrespect these days (just look at the antics of our presidential candidates). Soccer groups schedule the kids' soccer games on SUNDAY now, and it breaks my heart that so many grade school children don't even know who Noah and Moses were, let alone Jesus.
Yes, this disease has brought me even closer to Christ than I ever was before. I taught Sunday school, was secretary of our church's women's group, was a former Deacon, and taught Small Group Adult classes, while holding down a full-time job and raising our daughter. Just when you think you couldn't be closer to Jesus and His Father (our Father, too...), something like this happens. As I said in my earlier post, He has a powerful reason for this. I try not to think of it as a curse, but as a blessing. Some days (and nights) it's easier to do than others.
Last night, I couldn't sleep, and I felt the Evil One trying to take hold of my conscious thoughts and bring me to a point of panic. It's very scary to know that your entire body is riddled with cancer, and you don't know if you'll even be around in 3 to 6 months, and you don't know if your death will happen in less than a week (like a friend who just passed from MBC two wks ago and whose memorial is this coming Monday) or be painfully protracted to the point that fluid has to be drained from your abdomen daily (like another friend who has been in hospice for over a year). I called out to the Lord at that point and raised my hands to Him while I was lying in bed. Calling out to the Lord is POWERFUL! The Evil One fled immediately. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. He has not failed or forsaken me, and He won't fail me even in the throes of dying.
That being said, I hope that I will have a few good years left, but only He knows. This world is a dark, fallen place, and He might want to spare me from the evil that lies ahead. [It doesn't matter who wins the election...it's going to be bad no matter what. More signs that we are getting closer to the End Times.] I will spend what time I have left glorifying Him. Now I get to go to weekly afternoon Bible studies when I feel up to it. I couldn't go while I was working full time. Hopefully, if things stabilize with my numerous tumors, I can participate even more in the women's group and Small Group Adult classes like I once did.
Thanks again for your warm postings. Incidentally, my daughter is studying photography in college. She took some documentary photos of my IV chemo treatment on Monday for an assignment. She hates needles, and seeing her mom hooked up to an IV drip with the line taped to a vein was hard for her, but she got thru it. She's coming home again this weekend to take shots of my cracked, peeling, discolored hands and feet (a lovely side effect from the Xeloda). She's gotten closer to me. She always used to be a "daddy's girl," going to ball games, movies, and other sporting events with him. That was always fine by me. A daughter needs to have a strong relationship with her father because it will help her be more discerning about future suitors. She's 23 and not dating anyone...also fine by me. She has plenty of time. Get school and finding a paying job out of the way first. But now she hugs me more often and calls me on the phone during the week, which she hardly ever did before. Yes, I am blessed.
Here's hoping I sleep a little better tonight. I'm going to an all-day metastatic breast cancer conference tomorrow and I NEED my sleep ;o).
((Hugs))
Lita
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Just prayed for you Lita.
I am grateful for a wonderful time with Him yesterday morning. Also for my daughter calling to reassure me that she is ok. I'm grateful that they are planning to keep my great granddaughter Valentina. The sun shining through the leaves is beautiful this morning. I also had much less pain last night. Love , Jean
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Jean, I'm continuing to pray for relief from your pain. Thank you for your prayers, too. I feel them
). Went to a cancer conference today, and from your bio listing above, it looks like you're on exactly what you're supposed to be on according the the breast cancer specialist from Stanford who spoke this afternoon. He went over the stats from some of the Tx, and they look pretty promising. The SEs suck, however. Lots of joint/muscle pain as well as others.
Have a relaxing weekend,
Lita
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Good evening ladies,
Lita I prayed that you would get a good night's sleep and praying for you today to have energy to get through your conference. It sounds like it was a good one.
Jean, I continue to pray for your family. I know it is a most difficult time.
Aurora, praying that you are now done with rads and that it did it's intended work. Praying that you will do well on your new chemo treatments. Praising God for your daughter's new job.
Faith, praying against fatigue and that you have your insurance issues resolved.
Arcats, how are you doing? Any financial breakthroughs as far as a good reliable car?
Kathy, I miss seeing your posts. I hope you are doing okay, I know you were going to be moving so maybe you are very busy with that. I know that is a job.
Ade, praying that James continues to gain muscle strength and praising God nothing serious was found.
Joanne, praying that God will allow the judge to see truth in this custody battle and that light will be shed on circumstances which will hopefully be a positive for a good and right ruling for your great grand children. Praying against the stress that has been going on for months.
Genny, praying that you are doing better and I hope you have a good weekend with your family.
Angie praying you are balancing all of your things with work and ministry and having time to have some down time in there too.
Mags, I don't know if you are still checking in with us but I still do pray for you and hope that you are staying close to the Lord in this difficult time. I hope you are still seeing your Stephen minister.
Allison, we haven't heard from you for quite a while. I hope you have found another treatment that is now working for you.
Mini, praying that you are at peace as you have this wait period to see how these places progress. Of course hoping they are nothing to be concerned about.
Patty, praying that you are doing well a few days after your surgery.
Charlotte, praying that you are doing well after your surgery and that you can resume your treatments and tolerate the SE better.
Ellen, praying that you are getting things organized before you have your hip surgery. I am sure you have a lot on your plate now.
Praying for all of you dear ladies and that you have a wonderful weekend of seeing God's hand in your life and being a blessing to others as well.
Love,
Nancy
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Good morning everyone, today, I'm grateful for the beautiful fall weather we are having here in Illinois. Yesterday, I looked at the the blue skies and thought "Cubby Blue", a nod to the Cubs win and Nancy's team and to all of us who are happy the Cubs won. I also thought of "Botticelli Blue" skies and our beloved Italy. Hope this gorgeous weather hangs around for awhile.
I read and continue to pray for all the many needs here. there are so many hurting, it's overwhelming sometimes. And I'm praying for our country, Im worried about what happens no matter who wins.
Nancy, thanks for your continued prayers for me and everyone here. My fatigue is better this week since I have a 7 day break from the Ibrance that causes so much of it. I'm still working on the insurance issues but at least, I'm more calm about it. I have to believe it will work out OK. I saw my PCP on Thursday, and her office is going to ask for an exception for my BP meds so we'll see what happens next.
Hope everyone has a blessed and relaxing weekend.
Hugs, Faith (in the future)
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Faith, yes it has been gorgeous weather for sure. I am savoring every minute of it. I spent probably two more more hours photographing a single blue heron yesterday. I was such a gorgeous setting and I am in awe at the beauty that God gives us in this season.
I sure hope that your insurance will allow you to stay on your bp med. I started a brand new bp med yesterday with a little apprehension. Since the pharmacy could not give me the usual manufacturer on my old med and I reacted to the new manufacturer my doctor switched me completely to another class of drugs. UGH
I am glad you have some days without the fatigue. I have fibromyalgia and fatigue is my biggest challenge so I can appreciate your fatigued days. For me my swimming does help that but I am not sure how it would affect SE from a chemo drug.
My night meds moved from a Tier 1 to a Tier 3 so I am gearing up for a big battle starting in Jan. when my new plan takes effect as they will only allow 90 pills for the whole year and because of my cancer drug which causes insomnia for me I have to take a med to sleep now every night. One of the customer reps told me it was a Tier 1 drug before I enrolled. Ummmm? Honest mistake or???????? My pcp told me they have targeted my drug and are trying to get it off the market. Oh great!!
Sounds like you have some Italian blood in you? My college sweetheart was Italian and we were quite the couple but it was not meant to be. We still keep in touch.
I hope you and all our ladies have a good weekend with pleasant distractions. I always ask that I can see the Lord's blessings in the day and that I will be a blessing to others.
Love
Nancy
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Hi Nancy and Faith and all the rest. I am so blessed everytime I come to read this thread because you ladies have so much faith even through life's ups and downs. I am doing well, I started my new cancer med last week (Xeloda) and so far I haven't had any se's. I finished radiation to my left knee and left femur last Thursday and even though the knee still hurts a little bit, I have faith that the radiation will have killed the tumor and the pain will subside. My rad-onc said the radiation still lingers in the body for 3 to 4 weeks during which it's still acting on the tumor so will see.
I feel much more calm now that my daughter found a job, it was supposed to be temporary but they offered her perm-part time. It's still not what she wants because she will be receiving her Law Bar certification soon and then she can get a job as a lawyer but for now it's going help with the bills. On Tuesday she has a job interview with a Legal Aide office in Naples, Florida (we live in Orlando currently) for a fellowship helping children involved in immigration issues. We don't know how much it would pay but if she gets the position we would have to move so the financial aspect of it has to be in the range of $40 K - $50k in order for us to consider moving. Please pray for wisdom for my daughter as she makes these decisions.
Thank you for keeping me in prayer. I continue to pray for all the needs that are posted and in general for all of you.
Aurora
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Aurora, I'm sure you're happy the rads are over, I'll pray they do the job and zap those Mets and your pain. I'll also pray that your daughter's job situation has a happy ending.
Nancy, I'm sorry you're having trouble with these drug issues too. Are you aware it's not too late, I believe,for you to change to a different plan that might give better coverage. I think we can sign up or change plans until 12/7. These whole health insurance issues can really cause us distress. BTW have you tried melatonin to help you sleep? I've started taking 3 mg every night about an hour before bed and I'm sleeping much better. and I've read that it helps fight cancer too.
I am half Italian, my mom was born in Italy and we joke my husband is Italian by marriage. He loves all things Italian and we've been there several times. Thus the reference to Botticelli blue skies, since we especially love the art work and museums there and of course, their very blue skies too. My husband has taken some wonderful photos there.
Hope you and everyone has a blessed and beautiful Sunday.
Love, Faith (in the future)
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Aurora, I am so glad you are done with your rads and seem to be tolerating Xeloda. Praying that the rads will eradicate the tumor and that it will kill off any roaming cancer cells.
Praying for wisdom for your daughter and the job situation. I am glad she will have options once she gets certified.
Faith, I have never been to Italy but my friends who have been talk about how beautiful it is there. I imagine it would be a photographers dream to be there. It sure would for me.
Regarding the enrollment period I have already enrolled in the States Advantage plan. We only had two options and one was an HMO and that would never work with all the specialists I have. I went with the only other option. The HMO had my night drug listed as a Tier 1 which I thought was interesting. I had left a message for customer service and was surprised they actually called me back but I was not here at the time. I will call back and see if I can get clarification on this drug.
I used to do all natural type of things when I had trouble sleeping before bc. Melatonin used to work really well but was interacting with my cancer drug and causing nausea. My other night meds caused a rapid heart rate so I am stuck at this point.
I do believe it will work out eventually.
Take care and remember to turn those clocks back an hour.
Love
Nancy
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Here I am up at 5am which is actually 6 so I got a good 6 1/2 hrs sleep with little pain. Very grateful. My hubby is having some issues with a sermon 2 weeks ago that seemed political. I am praying he and others can get past it so there are no divisions in our congregation. it is a tense time for sure. We are supposed to go see my great granddaughter Valentina after church today so she gets more comfortable with us and we can help out once things settle down. Yay! Still no word from her mothet. Love , Jean
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Nancy I am with Silver Scripts as my Part D Medicare and found out you can apply (by speaking to a rep) for an exemption which reduces the tier of a medication if approved. My Exemestane went from over $1,000 down to $115 for 3 months this way. You have to reapply yearly but what a blessing it was/IS! Can you perhaps do this with your plan?
I want to share a bit of God's goodness with you all. Friday our little grandaughter Annika's (age 7) bunny died and our daughter Emily also found her fish dead - laying sideways on the bottom of the bowl not moving. Annika was so heartbroken over the bunny that she didn't notice her fish dead too. When Emily went in to "take care" of the dead fish she found it swimming around like nothing ever happened! Yes, poor bunny is gone but at least Annika has her fish "Anabella".
Another blessing - I have been feeding a very OLD doe for several weeks now. She is so skinny her ribs and hip bones stick out even though there is lots of grazing grass here. I think her poor old teeth are so worn down she just can't graze enough anymore so we have been supplementing her with high nutrition deer pellets whenever she comes around and stares at the house (about 3 times a day). When I go out to feed her she will eat right out of the container in my hand now and yesterday she let me stroke her soft face - a first! She looks into my face the whole time I hold the container for her and it is such a thrill to be so near this sweet creature. If I just dump her food in the bowl on the ground the young does drive her away so I need to stay with her until she is finished. The Lord spoke to my spirit and said that as we have compassion on others and care for them (even an old doe), He will have compassion on and care for us. Love is His nature. I will try to post a funny photo of 3 of the other deer that came to eat the other day. Blessings on your Sunday, dear ladies - I'm praying for you.
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Ade: The does look very sweet, but they subscribe to the "survival of the fittest/youngest" rule. Even OUR teeth wear down. I've seen how my own choppers have been worn down over the years. A few dentist visits ago, the dentist filed down some of my teeth to match the one that was the most worn down so my smile wouldn't look so lopsided.
Jean: Our pastor said we have to vote w/our hearts and mind and always keep in mind that our Father is STILL on the throne and IN CONTROL. I'm so sick of this darn election and can't wait until it is over. I'm ashamed of BOTH candidates. I feel like our Bulldog, Sofia feels.....
Sofia, blowing a raspberry at this year's abysmal election....
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Ade, what a sweet picture. I am such an animal lover and I would be right there with you feeding that poor old deer. I was the one who would try to save the bird with a broken wing when I was growing up. I used to have pet rabbits (only one a time) and I would grieve so much as I had so many die and not even make it to 2years so I can appreciate your granddaughter's grief. I am glad the fish made a miraculous recovery.
I am newly on Medicare but what I have now is only temporary until Jan. 1. I am a retired teacher and I will be getting my insurance through the State so I am only transitioning at this point. I was given what I think to be false information on purpose before I enrolled. I did call this customer service back and when they returned my call I wasn't hear so hopefully I can get on that this week again.
Jean, I am sure everyone heart is heavy over Alexia. I pray that you all can give Valentina all the love you can and that God will somehow reach Alexia and change her heart.
Lita, our pastor said those very same words today. He said on Wed. God will still be in control but he urged all of us to vote as there are many important races going on besides the presidency. In Bible times the Israelites suffered through many kings both good and bad but God still lead His people. I forgot to mention about your daughter studying photography. I think that is really something that she is photography your journey. I sure hope that it will be helpful to many bc patients for now and in the future. Sofia is such a cutie.
Joanne, I have not heard this about Franklin Graham. I have to be honest that I am having such a hard time with this election and I really have not made up my mind what I am going to do even at the 11th hour.
Have a restful night dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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We had a great service today on prayer, and a wonderful small group tonight. What a great way to start the week.
I go to the dermatologist Tuesday to get the results of the biopsy on my eye. It's healed up nicely. It seems like an eternity to my next MRI (12/28). I'm trying not to obsess over ever pain in my knee.
We've had the best fall. The colors have been spectacular, and the weather sunny and warm. I wish it would stay this way until spring. Blessings
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Ade, I also have Silverscript for my part D drug plan and they have just eliminated my BP drug for their lowest price plan. The rep told me to have my doctor apply for a tier exemption but the dr. said it would take many weeks to get approved. It sounds like you didn't have too much of a problem getting the exemption. Did you apply yourself or did your Dr. have to do it?
Have a peaceful night of rest everyone.
Faith (in the future)
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Jean, we had a son who went off the beaten path for a while and we were constantly on our knees asking the Lord to save him from himself and bring him to the saving grace of Jesus. That was the hardest part of our parenting. The other two children made wrong first marriage choices and we had to watch them suffer so. Our grandson has fathered two babies out of wedlock (but has taken a father's responsibility) and still does not know the Lord. Most all families go through some kind of terrible stress and grief over children and grandchildren. The wayward son did finally straighten up and is now a wonderful husband and father and grandfather and the other 2 who made wrong marriage choices remarried wonderful spouses and are serving the Lord and raising their children in Him. God has the power to redeem and save no matter how bleak it seems. May He grant you peace in your dear heart to trust that He IS working things to His glory even if you can't see it right now.
Joanne you are so right. God is still on the throne no matter what. I am so thankful that we don't have the "YOU MUST VOTE FOR MY CANDIDATE" squabble here! I am on facebook and it is awful even among believers! To tell you the truth we must stand before our Holy Father to give account of what we say and do someday - so we personally didn't vote for either top candidate...just couldn't. We did a 3rd party write-in for a fellow who has the ethics and honesty and values we feel our country needs. I know there is no hope of his getting elected - be we feel we did the RIGHT thing.
Lita, Sophia cracks me up! That's the perfect look for this terribly long, frustrating election thing! I love it! I feel like that too! Tell her - only a few more days left of it! YAAAY!
Nancy, I hope that medical insurance thing works in your favor. It's necessary - but what a hassle!
Blessings upon your upcoming week, all! Keep your mind on things above - not the things of this temporal earthly life!
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Faith, I talked to a Silver Script rep and she contacted the doctor who has to approve it. One medication was turned down because there isn't a cheaper one to go to. Another is pending and I sent an email to check the status. They promised to get back within 72 hours...we'll see. They CAN put a rush on it - it does not HAVE to take weeks. Sounds like you got a poor representative! Call back - maybe you can get a better one. Ade
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Ade thank you for the encouragement. Today I am so grateful for a wonderful visit with my great-granddaughter Valentina yesterday. She let me take her out by herself without my daughter and we took a nice walk. She is just
too cute. I know God is working in her mother's life and will bring Alexia home in His perfect time. My daughter seems a bit calmer about
taking over the responsibility of raising her granddaughter. Love , Jean0 -
Good morning ladies,
Our Community Bible Study has been studying the book of Daniel. What a blessing for us during this tumultuous period in our country.
I am firm in whatI am voting for, but it's not a person, it's a belief. The book of Daniel, especially Chapter 9, tells us what to do for our country....ask forgiveness and pray for God's mercy. Chapter 2 and other scriptures reminds us that God puts up kings and takes out kings.
2 Chronicles 7:14..our prayer and hope...if My people...that's us...
Have a blessed day everyone....trying to get some things done before surgery next week....
Love, Ellen.
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Good morning dear sisters,
As our country goes through the last day of wondering what is to become of us we know that the Lord reigns today and tomorrow and the next day. Nothing that has happened or is going to a happen is a surprise to our God. We may not like what the outcome is for tomorrow's election but we can have the assurance that God is still in control. I think every single one of us needs to examine our own lives and ask what we can do as an individual to bring love and unity to our neighborhood, our community and our nation. There has never been a more urgent time that we need to proclaim God's good news of salvation to a country that is lost and seeking answers in all the wrong places. We have seen time and time again when terrible natural disasters happen the community has a way of pulling together to help out. I believe that we are going to be called upon to do that in some way. We do need to humble ourselves and pray for our nation.
God bless each of you today as you fight your own personal battles and challenges.
Love
Nancy
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Amen to that!
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Anen. Grateful today for the opportunity to vote. During the last two years I was too sick! Love , Jean
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Good morning ladies,
Just got back from voting...so encouraged to see a long line of people waiting, and people checking on whether they could do a provisional ballot. We were at a local Fire Station, where we waited 30 minutes in line. In this area at least, it appears that people heeded the call to vote, not stay at home. Our voting area is a very small community, including the only town, which has only 125 residents...the precinct is primarily subdivisions of the larger city nearbyand folks in the country.
Remembering ...God is in control.!
Praying for those in pain, going through treatments, and dealing with family concerns!
Ellen
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I hope you will all take time to listen to this. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote this song as he was dealing with the angst of this election. However, I think the message can reach us at all levels and at your point of need in your personal challenges.
God Bless you all and God Bless our country.
Love,
Nancy
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Amen, Nancy!
Ellen
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I voted! Now to sit back and watch the fireworks.
I have basal cell carcinoma on my lower eyelid. I will be going to U of M for MOHS surgery. No date yet. I'm hoping the area needed for clear margins is small. It's right on my lash line near my tear duct.
Blessings
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Mini1 so sorry to hear about BCC on your eyelid. I've had MOHS on my leg(melanoma) and also on my nose (BCC). So grateful for MOHS that they can take tiny samples at a time....... I will certainly be praying that they get clear margins in the first pass!
~Tracey
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