thread for middle age to older Christian women.
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Susie, you and your family are in my heart and in my continued prayers.
Jean, we have seemed to miss most of the snow in the New Year. I know you enjoy it. I think it is pretty if I I don't have to drive in it much. Your picture is pretty.
Cindy, thank you for remembering all of us. I am glad your son is enjoying his teaching job. Those short term assignment have a way of turning into much bigger things so we can always hope that will happen for him. Foots sent me several PM's this past few days. She can always use your prayers as she battles physical challenges.
Ade, I too have been sick with the stomach flu which doesn't seem to want to let go. Hoping we both feel better.
Lita, praying your pain is manageable and that your daughter can get to feeling much better.
Faith, I hope that you had a good mental break from things and praying it was a good recharge for you.
Mini, praying your eye is doing much better now.
Joanne, praying that you and DH will start to getting your strength back and feeling much better. Continued prayers for your family situation with the great grand kids.
Aurora, praying you can get your doctors and insurance in place so you can start on another treatment plan.
Angie, are you still out there? You have been on my heart for a while. I hope you are doing okay.
Mags, I have been thinking about you as well. I am seeing Sandi Patty next week on her farewell tour and I know she either goes to your church or used to. I am hoping I am well enough to go. How are you doing? Not sure if you are still checking in or not.
Have a good night dear sisters.
Love
Nancy
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Susie, prayers for from Ohio, especially your daughter. I'm so sorry. I have a son who is seven who gives me the will to fight the good fight. I'm so sorry for your family's loss of their young light.
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Ellen, how are you doing back at the helm of your Bible Study? Praying you are getting your stamina back for all of your responsibilities.
Faith, glad to see a pretty face with your name. Hope you are doing well.
Teka, how are you doing way up there in the North Country?
G, how are you doing way in the opposite direction. It is probably pretty nice now in TX and I bet you are really busy with your home schooling and all of your responsibilities.
Hope all of you have a good night's rest.
Love,
Nancy
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Susie - I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. I hope you find some solace in the prayers going up for your family.
Blessings
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My appt with the new onco doc went well. I think we'll be OK. I'm having one more follow up MRI for my knee in 6 months, but he believes it is arthritis, not the beginning of a mets.
I had an infection in my eye which made me pretty miserable after surgery, but infection notwithstanding, they say my progress is actually ahead of schedule. I started using a steroidal eye drop Thursday and my eye feels so much better. There's a small bit of swelling left, but I think it should be better in the next couple of days.Thank you for all of your prayers.
9 more days and I head to Florida. I'm so ready to be warm. :-)
Blessings
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Dearest Nancy! And all my sweet sisters in Christ. I have continued to read this thread, more sporadically than in days past, but it remains on my favorites list.
I think I told you that my cancer had progressed to Stage 4 with mets to the lungs, back in August. In November I learned I also have bone mets, to the cervical and lumbar spine. I have been on a halaven treatment schedule since then, but I have made the decision (for a variety of reasons) that the round I just finished last week will be my last. If you are interested in the details, I left a long post in my usual hangout, Insomniacs thread, and you can read it there. I'll be having a PET scan next week, and my MO has requested that my DH accompany me to his office visit the following day, so at least we will know where things stand. As you might imagine, my MO is strongly discouraging me from stopping treatment, but we know all he is doing is giving me more days in which I have no quality of life.
In any case, thanks for remembering me, Nancy, and thank you for your faithful encouragement on this thread. I do try to pray for the concerns as I see them but my brain doesn't hold much these days.
Blessings to you all
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Susie - I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for your daughter and family. I pray for your and your daughters strength and peace.
Nancy, I am here. Just can't check in as often. Day before Bew Year's Eve I got that nasty bug that is going around. Took me two weeks to get up and moving and still have linger cough but getting better. The wet and cold weather didn't help much.
Jean, praying for your daughter and granddaughter.
All, continuous prayers for each of you.
For our stage 4 sisters, I continue to pray for each of you that your treatments are keeping you stable or NED! Pray for that treatments are reducing any pain, increasing quality of life, and most of all for guidance in all that you must face, decisions you must make, and that your support system - bfamily, medical team, friends are walking lock step with you.
Love across the miles,
Angie
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Angie, I am glad to hear from you but sorry you have been sick. I have had the stomach flu all of last week and finally made it to church today as my first real outing. Praying you stay well now and I pray you have a great year.
Mags, I went to "your hangout thread" and read past posts, responses to your post and your last post. First, let me say how very sad I am to read all of what you have gone through and what you are going through. I know how much you went through in your initial treatments and it just seemed like every step of the way was a challenge. I don't think anyone can sit on the sidelines and second guess what they would do if they were in your shoes because I don't think anyone can truly know what they would do.
My plea to you is not to make any hasty decisions regarding your own life based on the actions of your DH. In the end you will be face to face with your Father and I don't want you to regret anything or any decisions you made in the end. If you feel like you cannot take another day of treatment because you are so sick of being miserable I feel like that is another separate issue altogether and one that you need to really pray hard about and discuss with your medical team. I feel God wants us to chose life but again it is not me living in your shoes.
I have known of strong Christian woman who have decided not to have treatment at all when hearing their diagnosis. They did choose life but maybe not in the way we would normally think.
Let me say what an impact you have made on my life as we were bc sisters going through our stuff at the same time. I have prayed as much for you as I have my own family members. I want you to know that your life mattered even in those years of misery. Your life mattered to ME and to many, many other people that you have touched so please don't think of those as wasted years. We will never completely understand what suffering is all about but when we are in heaven I think all the pieces and questions will instantaneously fall into place.
I love you dear sister and I know there are many people in your life that feel the same. I know your smile can still light up a room whether you are really feeling it or not.
I am glad you checked in with our thread and I will certainly be praying for you.
Love,
Nancy
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Mags, I am so sad to hear of your suffering. I will be praying for you. Love, Jean
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Mags, I wasn't here when you were going through your first bout with BC, but I just went back a read a few of your posts. I am so very sorry for what you have and continue to go through but Nancy has given you some wise words and I pray that you will at least think and pray very hard about your decision, you will be in my prayers.
Nancy, thank you again for remembering me and all the others here. I'm glad to hear you are starting to feel better, this has been a terrible flu season for so many. I've been fairly lucky so far just a couple of days of not feeling well but nothing major. I wrote a long post on Friday night and it somehow ended up being deleted from my new iPad. I was so frustrated I couldn't write another till now.
I enjoyed my short break from the cancer world until it was suddenly upset by drug and insurance issues. Its too long of a story to go into but I just have to say, I was taken advantage of by some very unscrupulous company at a very vulnerable time in my life and gave away unwittingly too much private information. I pray it will all work out in the end but it's been a very upsetting couple of weeks. I did write about the story on the Ibrance thread for anyone who's interested in how to be more careful about everything we do on the internet.
As always, I continue to pray for all of you here. I'm also praying we see some sunshine soon. These gray days are really getting to us.
Hugs, Faith (in the future)
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Teka, you would laugh at the pic my sister sent me from downstate of the itsty bitsy snow on the ground very early in the morning that had melted by sunrise. We certainly don't get the snow like you do on any given year but this year has been really strange with very little snow.
Susie, my continued prayers for all of your family. What has happened to Jeremy?
Joanne, excellent wisdom in those banners. Thanks for posting those. Praying for the court case this week.
Faith, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your phone scam. Insurance issues and these types of things makes me so angry. I did read on your Ibrance thread and it sounds like there is a great bunch of caring and informed individuals who are truly there to be supportive and I am so glad that is there for you. I am praying for a miracle for you in this outrageous price of this drug. I wish there is something I could do but I can pray and I certainly will do that. I have been in battle mode for weeks on my new Medicare plan and it is just insane the way we have to jump through all of these hoops to get needed meds.
Thank you for your encouragement and support. I did make it to church today so I am hopefully over this stomach bug.
Yes, to see the sun would be so wonderful. It has certainly been days of dreariness for sure. Praying for a break through for you.
Love,
Nancy
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To all, our true home is not here, it is ultimately with our Lord and Savior.
Stage 4 cancer is a living HELL for some of us. Many have fought valliantly for years, but when there is no longer any more quality of life, we are just "existing" and not glorifying our dear Jesus. Are we then prolonging our lives, or just prolonging our inevitable deaths? These are serious considerations that women like me are confronted with every day.
My MO was very honest with me. Because my cancer is so far advanced (and I was only dx'd 9 mos ago), she told me there is NO cure. Basically I'm only getting chemo to keep me around a little longer. MO said, "You're going to have to tell me when you've had enuf and it's time to throw in the towel. I can't make that decision for you. It has to be your decision."
Quite frankly it deeply offends me when people who are NOT going thru what I'm going thru admonish me to keep on fighting. Until another walks in my stage 4 shoes, they will never know what I'm going thru or what other women who are stage 4 are suffering. This is IT for us. We will never get better. We will ALWAYS be on chemo for however much time we have left. While we appreciate that we are loved and an inspiration to others, the decision to stop treatment and ultimately leave it in God's hands, and not Taxol's or Xeloda's is ours.
The doctors are already "playing God" by keeping me alive this long. With my extensive Mets, I would already have passed had I come down with this 25-30 years ago. Right now, I've decided not to take the End of Life Rx drugs that are available by law in California. That would be playing God on my part, but when it comes time for me to stop treatment, I will choose to voluntarily refuse food and Hydration when it gets to that point. God will be completely in charge...He'll either take me within a week or possibly two.
When one of my metastatic BC sisters decides that it's time to stop, I know that she has already thought about it long and hard. All the sleepless nights, all the anguished tears shed, the countless hours of prayer. No one wants to die. The body has a strong will to live, but the soul ultimately longs to go home after a protracted battle the body will ultimately lose, and who are we to guilt a person in to staying when their soul wants to fly home to our Savior?
I just want people to know how a few of us Stage 4 gals feel about this.
L.
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Lita, you've put my struggle into words, powerful words. I have said from the beginning of this journey, my times are in His hands. That always has been, and will remain, true. He will keep me here as long as it pleases Him and not a moment longer. I pray every night that He will take me home. For myself, that is all I want. I chose to do treatment for my husband's sake as he was so emotionally dependent on me. But if he doesn't need me any more, as seems to be the case, then I have no further motivation to continue treatment. Like you said, its only purpose is to prolong my days. And each treatment damages my body even more. I don't know how long I'll last. We'll just have to see
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Well it's going on 3 a.m. and I can't sleep (a normal thing for some of us). I just want you (especially Lita & Mags) to know that I am lifting you up to the Lord tonight and praying His grace is sufficient for you. Many of us may well walk in your shoes someday - but until then we fervantly lift you up in our prayers to the One who sees your tears and knows your pain. May you feel the Lord's arms around you and feel our love too. Thank you for sharing your hearts with us. Love, Ade
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Yes Ade, same for me. I pray Lord Jesus that you give Lita and Mags peace and joy in your presence and bear with them their sufferings. Love, Jean
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Decades ago as a baby Christian I read HIND'S FEET ON HIGH PLACES by Hannah Hurnard. I felt led to read it again and having lost my original in our move 4 years ago - I ordered another online. This one is in devotional form with journal space and is by/with Darien Cooper. I have to say it is blessing my socks off and SOOO much needed right now in my life! I just wanted to share with you ladies as I think it might perhaps bless some of you too. The back page says it can also be ordered from www.destinyimage.com - ISBN # 10: 0-7684-2278-7 Love, Ade
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My oldest and one of my dearest friends has been sending a message daily on FaceBook that she and an elderly friend are praying for me together every night. Today she mentioned Jesus Calling and asked if I had a copy. I told her I did – Kath (Toby) sent it to me before either of us had received our Stage 4 diagnosis, which happened about the same time. Am I crying for her or for me, or for the inevitability of my demise, which, frankly, I wish would come sooner rather than later. This pain consumes me, inside and out, and though I know the FACT is that my Lord never leaves or forsakes me, I FEEL so horribly alone right now
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Dear Mags, I wish we were closer so I could come and give you a (((((hug)))))! We love you even if from afar. I am so sorry things are so hard for you. I can't imagine. Praying right now for strength, hope and courage for you. Love, Jean
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Lita and Mags, my thoughts and prayers are with each of you always.
Mags, my dear friend! you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I do follow your post so that I can know what and how to pray for you. You have always been there to support, mentor, and encourage me. Although we may not frequent the same threads as often as we did at the beginning of this journey. I just want you to know you are always in my thoughts and heart! Praying right now for your strength, and praying for your DH.
Love across the miles,
Angie
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Jo, I agree about Loveroflife's post (I call her Loverly). She speaks such words of encouragement. I know I've said it before, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying it: My times are in His hands. This is not the path I would have chosen for my life, but that was His plan. I love this Ginny Owen song, and the live recording has a final verse that's not on the album.
In any case, I understand what you're saying. I have no intention of taking that decision out of the Lord's hands, nor would I fault one of our sisters who did. We know the pain we go through, and that we can't know what someone else's pain is.
Jean, I know we've had the discussion in PM about living with someone who is not always emotionally stable - how they can turn it on and off in a heartbeat! How do they even do that?
Angie, my dear friend, we pretty much started this journey together, and we've touched fingertips along the way if we didn't always hold hands. You've been at least as much of a mentor to me as i ever was to you! And i'm so thankful for your continued encouragement.
I have no fear of what lies beyond, for I know my Lord is waiting. And that may be all there is to know.
Blessings
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Dearest Mags, as I was listening to the song you posted Jesus dropped this thought in my head..."If you can't walk, I will carry you!" Take heart dear sister. He is carrying you. Love, Jean0 -
Hello, dear friends, I've been reading and praying along for all of you. There seems to be such pain and sorrow here and I'm so sorry for that. I pray that we all find our way through these times with our dear Lord's help.
I have gotten my drug and insurance issues settled and we are getting our affairs (wills, etc.) in order. This whole experience was a wake up call to do things we've been putting off. So, in some ways, this problem has been a blessing for us. I do have a prayer request, I'm having cataract surgery on Monday and again on Feb 27th, so prayers for a successful surgery and quick healing are most appreciated. I worry a bit because my cancer meds bring my immune system down.
Jo, thank you for your banners, they always seem to be just right for the moment. Mags and Lita, you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Nancy, I do hope that you are okay and there are no problems with your health or your mother's ongoing issues. I miss seeing your posts here.
Love, Faith ( in the future)
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I finally saw my new oncologist today. Monday I have a CT scan to see how am I doing after almost two months without treatment and next Friday I will start on an IV chemo called Abraxane which I had before. My hair is likely to fall again but I'm ok with that as long as it works. Prayers welcome.
Auror
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Aurora, you will be in my prayers as you start your new treatment. I'm sure it will be a relief to finally get on with treatment but I'm sorry the need for a change was there. I'm also sorry about the hair loss again, that was one of the hardest parts for me the first time around. I'm grateful for the time it gave me, 25 yrs is great, but it was just such a visible reminder of cancer that it was hard.
As always everyone here is in my prayers and I pray that all is okay with you.
Love, Faith (in the future)
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Ok ladies, I am going to try to be faithful to post gratitude each day.. I have gotten away from it and it does affect my attitude so here goes.... Today I am grateful that my dear friend Carolyn who suffered a major heart attack last week is home from the hospital with seemingly no permanent heart damage. Thank you Lord Jesus for saving her life.
Praying for Aurora, Faith, Lita and Mags for strength for today. Also for all needs here to be met, those in recovery, those in active treatment, those just starting, family needs, financial needs, insurance and for hope, encouragement, courage and faith. Love, Jean
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Amen Jo and thank you Jean. I had my CT scan today and will meet with my oncologist Friday to discuss results. Friday too will start chemo. Thank you for lifting me up in prayer and please keep it up
Aurora
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This morning I am so grateful that my husband's neuromuscular disease is in remission. Thank you Lord Jesus. Love, Jean
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