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thread for middle age to older Christian women.

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Comments

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Hi, there, Rocket!!! You sound wonderful!! Prayers for healing are being answered!! The rocking horse sounds wonderful!!! I think Valentine' s Day would be a great time to buy Lily one. She will be 7 months then!!! We saw her today!!! We can't get enough of her!!! He,he,he!!!!! Yes, Jo-5, you are such a role model and mentor for all of us!!! God bless you!!! Lots of love to everyone here!!!!

  • Adelaide77
    Adelaide77 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2012

    Hi. I'm new here. I'm actually a bit young for this thread (32), but I am a Christian and haven't found another Christian thread on here yet, so I'm posting here. I was diagnosed with IDC (stage 1) in September and had a BMX in Nov. I am hungry to meet other Christian women who are traveling/have traveled this road. I have been blessed to have been put in touch with many BC survivors, but none of those that I've had opportunity to talk to regularly are believers. I have definitely sensed the Lord deepening my trust in Him greatly through this experience, and, strangely, I'm having a hard time wanting to continue living. Please don't misread this; I'm not contemplating taking my own life. (I've been to that scary place before, so I know the difference.) But God has used this whole experience to sharpen my eternal perspective, and I am LONGING more than ever before to be with Him, away from these broken bodies and this broken world. I passionately sense the "to die is gain" part of Phil. 1:21, but I'm really struggling with the "to live is Christ" part of that same verse. I know my chief end is to glorify Him always, including my time here on this earth, but I'm having a hard time putting my heart into the here and now. Has anyone else struggled with this? I'm sorry for the rambling. I'm happy to talk by PM. It's another sleepless night (3 AM in my corner of the world). I guess I'm just hoping to connect with somebody or somebodies who have struggled through these same emotions. Thank you for listening, ladies. God is good. All. The. Time.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Welcome Adelaide! New folks are always welcome here (age is a relative term :-) ) and it's my favorite thread as these ladies are the warmest, most sincere Christian sisters that I've had the privilege to know. As to your struggle with desiring the hereafter, I too long for my eternal home and to be with Jesus, but I fear the process of getting there. I don't like suffering, but recognize that it's often the tool that God uses to hone and refine my spiritual walk and relationship with Him, drawing me closer to the image of His Son. I think if we all got a glimpse of Heaven, we'd be ready to pack up and go this instant, but until our time comes, He uses us here to accomplish His purposes and bring Him glory. And yes, God is good - all the time!

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Dearest Adelaide77, Welcome to this wonderful thread. We are all here to support and encourage you.  Thank you so much for coming here. Your input is so appreciated!!!!Rocket said it beautifully. Yes, I have definitely felt the desire to be with my Lord, as my fear of death has disminished since I began this journey 8 years ago.As a Christian, we know that our goal is to Be with our Lord But my desire to be here with my family and my new grandchild for now is very, very strong. I know Our Lord is in complete control, and how long my time here is determined by HIM. I like knowing that I don't have that control of how long I have here!! I have totally Given it to HIM. I so understand your feelings and what you are going through. You are still new on this journey, and please let us be your support. I will pray for you everyday. You are so right God is Good!!!! He will take care of you!!!! God bless you, Kathy

  • Mini1
    Mini1 Member Posts: 1,309
    edited December 2012

    Yes welcome. I think we all are discovering new aspects of ourselves through this journey. I'm with Rocket on being accepting of where my eternity lies, but not loving what I may go through one day to get there. It seems like I have been to way too many funerals lately. The saddest are always those who don't have the assurance of eternity. For me I think it's a lot like the line from that Kenny Chesney song - everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now. I want to watch my grandbabies grow up. (ages 3yrs and 5 months-twins!). Seeing the circle of life is an amazing thing. I know it is just by the grace of God that I have gotten this opportunity. I never thought I would get "old" or love being a grandmother, but I am and I do. :-) My emotions ebb and flow as I learn to navigate not just through my cancer, but through my journey with God. Thankfully, He never stops teaching us, loving us, and preparing us for whatever lies ahead.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Well I don't like having to always ask for prayers, but I'm in trouble here. My foot is doing pretty well, but my knee just gave out. I have chondramalcia of both knees and the treatment is rest, ice, compression and elevation. My one knee is inflamed and very painful because it has been bearing my weight on the scooter. Problem is that I can't use crutches because of my arm, and now I can't kneel on my knee scooter to get around. So I am having to sit on it and scoot around with my good foot. A knee scooter is not made for sitting and it's difficult to keep my balance. Please pray for healing. I'm so frustrated that I could scream! I've already had two meltdown's today! I am of no help to my poor DH. I have at least another five weeks before I can bear any weight on my foot while wearing a fracture boot. Please also pray that I don't fall and set myself back on the walking. My DH can take me out in my Mom's transfer chair, but I can't get around my sister's house because of lack of room.



    Additionally my sister, the one we are staying with, fell when she was letting the dogs out today and hit her head on the ground. My DH had gone to the store to pick up medication for me. Her neck is sore from the fall whipping her head back. Honestly it feels like we are running a nursing home here. My DH is the only healthy one among us.



    I'm really sorry to be such a pain in the neck. I do appreciate you all so much! Please pray also that I can handle this emotionally. I'm just a wreck right now. I know God is in control of this too. I'm not always good at accepting His way however. Lord help me to trust that You know best.

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Dearest Rocket! Your plate is full, in fact it is overflowing! I am lifting you all up in prayer right now! May Our Dear Lord relieve you all from

    these trials and challenges!!!

  • Adelaide77
    Adelaide77 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2012

    Oh, you wonderful ladies, I am so grateful for you all already. How sweet the fellowship of the saints is, even here across the Internet.

    Rocket, I am so sorry for all the trials your household is facing right now. I will definitely be lifting you up in prayer, as well as your sister with her fall today, and your husband as he continues to care for you.

    Jo, I haven't had a chance to catch up on all the previous pages of this thread yet, so I'm not sure of your husband's health issues, but I will be praying for him (and praying more specifically after I catch up on past pages!), and for you as you help him through this.

    Praying for each of you, dear ladies.

    I so appreciate all your responses to my emotional "dump". It felt good to get it off my chest (ha...that's the first time I've used that phrase since my mastectomy...I don't think I can ever say that with a straight face again). I am choosing to trust God with these up and down emotions, to tune my heart to where it should be and to help me be obedient to Him in all things, no matter what I am feeling. (One moment I want to go to heaven, the next moment I am an emotional mess worrying about a recurrence and the possibility of dying young and leaving my husband and daughters behind.) I guess these ups and downs are normal, and even if I'm an emotional ball of craziness, He is MORE THAN ABLE to work in and through me. I am amazed at how He sustains His children and have been so awed at how He's sustained me during this past year (both through an emotional breakdown and now through cancer).

    Anyways, I'm closing up shop now...no more 3 am bedtimes for me! Have a great night, ladies. I look forward to getting to "know" you all better in the days ahead. G'night.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Thank you dear ladies! I had a very rough night. I broke down and took a half of a Vicodin. I got very few hours of sleep. The medication makes me very nauseated on top of things. We will try to get over and see our granddaughter today. Maybe that will help to put me in a better frame of mind. It always does.



    I do try to be thankful in ALL things, but it is difficult at times. I don't always suffer graciously. I too have asked God to teach me what it is I need to learn from all of this, and like you Jo, I don't always get a clear understanding. So I throw myself on the mercy of the cross. I deserve nothing from His gracious hand, and yet He died for me. What more do I need? His grace is sufficient for me and I will endure with His help and your prayers. Thanks for loving me!

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Dear Rocket!! You are only human!! Jesus, on the night before his death in the garden, tried to bargain with His Father. He was so scared and His human body did not want to suffer! Job, angrily talked with Our Lord. God welcomes our talks with Him, even those filled with anger and pain! Those conversations draw us closer to Him!! I am so glad that you can come here and ask for prayer!! The more we pray, the more answers we receive!!! You are so loved by everyone here!! Seeing your granddaughter today, will bring you joy!!!

  • Mini1
    Mini1 Member Posts: 1,309
    edited December 2012

    Rocket - Ask your doc if you can get Percoset instead of Vicodin. I got much more relief with the Percoset and didn't get the nausea or the itchies like I get from Vicodin. When you have so much pain, the key is keeping it under control by taking the meds regularly. If you're only able to take them sporadically you will not get the relief you need and the healing process will take longer. Pain causes stress on your system which should be working on your healing but instead is dealing with your pain, so it prolongs the healing process. It also plays havoc with your emotions. I know you must feel like Job right now. I can remember once during a similar time crying out that I know we all have our burdens to bear, but can't it be someone else's turn for awhile???

    JO-5 - I don't know the specific name of the book I got. I just found one for the Windows program I needed at the library and then took an actual course at our community college. I think there was a Dummies book available, too. I did that one for Excel. The different ribbons are what threw me. I couldn't find anything I was looking for, i.e. spell check, print preview, etc. Once you see how they are arranged it's pretty easy to navigate around, but it was definitely frustrating for awhile.

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Yes, great advice Mini!! I tolerate Percoset much better! Rocket, whatever it takes to diminish the pain!!! Happy New Year, and lots of blessings!!!

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570
    edited February 2014

    deleted

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Hi CC,



    Anyone, regardless of age, is welcome here. You have found an encouraging and loving bunch of Christian sisters here who love the Lord and demonstrate it with sacrificial hearts. I will pray that your Oncotype results are low. My score was 16, but I elected to have chemo due to my age at the time (49), and the fact that I had three large tumors. It's not easy going through it, but God does give grace and He suffers along with us. I will pray that the peace of God will dwell in Your heart and that you will be able to stand fast in the face of any difficulty. Blessings, and welcome!

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Dear CC, Welcome to this Wonderful thread!!! You will find encouragement and support here! Amen, Rocket!!! I am lifting you up in prayer right now, CC!

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Hey Mini and Kathy,



    Unfortunately I can't take Percocet. I think the pain I am experiencing is nerve related. It feels like my toes are burned. Just touching them lightly is very painful. I take Gabapentin for nerve pain in my arm and may need to have my dose increased to help with this. Nerve pain is miserable and takes a long time to heal for me. I will try to get an appointment this week with the orthopedic doctor to look at my knee. I at least want an x-ray to make sure it is the chondramalcia acting up and not something else.



    On a positive note, I got to hold Erin today while she slept on me. For you new ladies, she is my 11-month old granddaughter. She is so precious, and somehow my pain and worries just melt away when I hold her. I plan to see her again tomorrow. Her whole face lights up when she sees me. It's so good for my heart.

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Hi, Jo -5!!! Be careful out in that snow, I am sure your hubby wanted to be out there with you!! Yes, May 2013 bring us all many blessings , joy and laughter and less health issues!! Thank you, Jo-5 for your wonderful sense of humor and guidance this year!!! Lots of Love to everyone!!!!

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited December 2012

    Dearest Rocket!! Yes, your little Erin is the best medicine ever! I am just praying that your nerve pain can be resolved soon!! You so deserve some relief!! May Our Lord give the doctors discernment with these issues! I hope this week is better!!!

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited December 2012

    Hey Jo,



    Yes, by all means, do be careful shoveling. I know how Dan feels. It's like being tied to a chair and having to watch everyone around you do everything that you should be able to do for them or for yourself. Tell him I can totally relate! Glad to see you have a sense of humor about it though.



    Thanks to all you ladies, you have encouraged me to take action about my pain and knee issue. I will be calling the doctor this week. Thank you also for bolstering my mood. You all are just the best, and I love you for it!

  • Mini1
    Mini1 Member Posts: 1,309
    edited December 2012

    Rocket - How about a lidocaine patch? That might have some benefit. Also, I know sometimes anti-depressants are prescribed off label for other conditions. I took one for about 3 months some of the intestinal issues I was having. A friend takes one as part of her treatment for her liver disease. Nerve pain is the worst. I had it for almost a year after my lung surgery. It would come out of nowhere and make me yelp out loud. It always made me think of that desk toy that's made out pins that you touch and it keeps the imprint of your hand. You know what I'm talking about? It was like that only with the pins hot as fire. You have my sincere sympathy. It's miserable pain. And not one you can alleviate my not doing certain things or putting your feet up.

  • fondak
    fondak Member Posts: 271
    edited January 2013

    Hi Ladies,

    Just wanted to check in before I went to bed.  I thought I posted a reply to your first post Adelaide but I didn't see it as I was going back over the posts tonight.  Anyway, I am right there with you on days I that I think how wonderful it would be to be in the presence of our Lord.  I think the more I learn the harder things get in some ways and at the same time the easier things get which sounds crazy but I see my affections for the world grow less and those for Christ grow stronger. 

    Rocket I'm so sorry about all you are dealing with.  I know what those days are like when you just feel like what more.  Just this past Friday I thought we may be going to Italy for my husbands work for 6 months or longer.  It should be a good thing but I became sick with worry over missing my church and concerned about my doctors appointments.  I see my surgeon every 6 months and my oncologist every 3.  It did work out that we can't go but I know God's design for marriage is not like ours.  We've been apart for most of going on 5 years now.  I could really use prayer in that area.  I think that is one reason I so enjoy hearing how your husband prays with you and how Jeannine and her husband trusts the Lord in the most difficult circumstances and Kathy is taking care of Dan and such.  It's a blessing to hear those things. 

    Oh no!  Kathy's not taking care of Dan....that would be something other than a blessing for sure.....Jo5 is taking care of DAn!  I had to think, is that right?  I went back and checked.  I hope I have that right.  Now my quick "check in" has taken 30 plus minutes....lol....I am however so blessed with how Kathy looks out for us. 

    Mini, I can't believe your grandbabies are 5 months!  Oh how I hope to see grandchildren one day!  It's one of the hopes that does make staying here a while longer more desirable for sure!

    CCFW  I hope you appointment goes well tomorrow. 

    Love you all and you're all in my prayers!

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited January 2013

    Hi, Fondak, Happy New Year to you. You always have the nicest posts, and I know how much your prayers mean to me, and everyone else here.May blessings flow for you and your family in 2013. Rocket, hope today finds you with diminished pain and more healing. Jo-5, hope Dan continues to heal. Mini1, enjoy your grandbabies and Adelaide, hope to see you here often. I am sorry if I forgot anyone, please you are all in my prayers. Lots of Love and Happy New Year!!!!!!

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited January 2013

    Hi Gals,



    Happy New Year! Ian still having quite a bit of nerve pain, but have been given a prescription for a cream containing Lidocaine, Gabapentin, and Baclofen to put on my painful toes. My foot is still bandaged from the bottom of my toes to my ankle, so I can't put the cream anywhere but my toes. The incisions still hurt a lot with nerve pain. Friday, I will be getting the stitches out and am dreading it! I'll be taking pain meds before. Please pray that it isn't too painful. I did get an appointment with an orthopedic doctor, but not until the 8th. I don't think there is much they can do for my knees, but I would at least like an x-ray.



    Nice to hear from you Fondak. I will be praying more about your husband and your relationship, that God would knit you together. Hang in there Hon!



    Well I hope all you lovely Ladies have a wonderful day.



  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited January 2013

    Prayers are coming!!!! Rocket!!!

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited January 2013

    Thank you Sweet Kathy! My poor big toe feels like someone is pouring alcohol on my incision. I'm increasing my Gabapentin.

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570
    edited February 2014

    del

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 2,883
    edited January 2013

    Yikes, Rocket, hang in there, Hon!! CC, please keep us posted, and in the meantime, prayers are coming your way!!!!! Blessings!!!!!

    Kathy

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited January 2013

    wow, have i missed a lot since i have not been on the boards for awhile..lol

    welcome, all you new ladies

    Rocket, oh boy, I will continue with my prayers for you. I bet you wish you could go to sleep and wake up and have a few months gone by and feel all better. that is what i would want. God didnt give me a lot of patience..lol i get real crabby when i cant do what i want. You, rocket, are handling things with such grace :) hang in there girlfriend ! I am happy erin gives you so much pleasure and can change your focus.

    happy new year everyone

    susan

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited January 2013

    Hi Ladies,



    Did too much today and had my foot down too long! My sister had to go back to work, so I was trying to help my DH by making dinner and folding laundry, etc. my ankle is so swollen too. Tomorrow I get the stitches out and I'm both glad and dreading it at the same time. Stitches shouldn't be painful, but the nerve pain makes it excruciating. All prayers appreciated! Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a better report!

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570
    edited February 2014

    del

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