thread for middle age to older Christian women.
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Thanks CC! I had surgery to remove a big toe bunion along with a small toe bunion, so both sides of my foot have incisions. My bigger problem is nerve pain along the big toe incision. It feels as though my toe has been severely burned and the incision is extremely painful. They used sutures to close the incisions and the stitches will come out tomorrow, but it will hurt. Last January I had surgery on my other foot and went through the same pain. It took months for it to go away. I'm just trying to get through it. Thanks for asking and for praying!
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I'm so sorry you're not feeling better yet. My sis is having the same surgery next year. She's off 3 months a year, so she's having it right after her last days. I won't share your story. I hope your better soon. And stay off that foot!
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Rocket I hope today was better for you. How are you knees doing?
Jeannine I hope things are going well with your husbands job search. Did he have that interview yet?
I took my son to the dr today. He has the flu. His temp was 104.2 last night and at his appointment at 1:30 it was 101.something. That was 2 hrs after taking 2 ibuprophen.
It was a crazy day. While I was at the drs office with him I got a call from our new tenants. The gas co. came to turn the gas on and said the hot water tank which is in the laundry room, has to be in it's own closet and the heat/air unit needed to be serviced. Fortunately, the heat/air service guy was able to come out today. It ended up needing a new motor and I am going to try and build a closet for the water heater Monday. Thankfully, the tenants are going to Fla for a few days to pick up some of their stuff and staying there a few days.
I'm so thankful to be here! I was thinking about my little fellow (who is taller than I) to have to go through this sickness with just his brother.
Hope you all are able to stay well through all this. They said this flu is really bad. They even sent the lady who did the lab work to his room to take our payment and then sent us out the back door even with the mask. They told me they would mail us the receipt.
Keeping you ladies in my prayers! Love you all
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Rocket, 2013 is going to be a better year for you, healing, strength, peace and blessings are coming your way!!!!Fondak, Prayers are coming for your son for healing and for you that you can get everything done before the tenants move in. Mini1, CC, Jo-5 please have a great and blessed weekend. Blessings to all here, Kathy
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Hi, everyone and welcome to the new ladies!
I am suffering from extreme tiredness and I'm not always thinking straight, so I haven't been on here lately. I only have 4 out of 24 infusions left. So thankful for that. At some point I will look back and count blessings of the last year, but can't seem to do it now. It was so miserable. I am counting you as blessings, though, already!
Tom, my DH, has had several interviews. He was turned down for the job he wanted, and is now waiting to hear about one for which he finished interviews on Thursday. Another interview for another job is Monday, but it doesn't look as promising. He is interviewing at the same company from which he was laid off, trying to keep the insurance flow going for all I have yet to go through- appts., tests, recon. We're just trusting God to take care of us as He always has. I have learned through many trials that worry doesn't help anything and it doesn't make me feel good, so I try my best not to engage in it. Not always successfully! I pout more because I am just tired of this whole thing. January 27 is my cancerversary and I will be done with chemo Feb. 1st.
I have been diagnosed with mild lymphadema in my left arm, my noncancerous side where 5 nodes where taken. Weird, since so many more nodes were taken on the cancerous side. But I am never "normal!" I've been wearing a lymphadiva sleeve with a tattoo design on it, which is much more comfortable than the medical compression sleeves, which I am getting in black to look fierce! I am already getting BP taken on my calf, but sure am wondering where they are going to take blood or insert IV for surgery when I no longer have my port. It concerns me and nobody is really giving me an answer yet.
Rocket, my heart just hurts when I hear about more pain and anguish you have to go through! I know we can't understand why, but please know that you sharing it all with us and others is a powerful testimony, no matter how you feel. I have found that I have given God glory almost accidentally, just by being honest with how I am doing and with my struggles with it all and even with God. That gives me purpose in what is happening. I know people at church, in particular, are watching us with eagle eyes to see if our faith is real or if we will collapse or something. So far, so good!
I love this spirit on this blog, so uplifting, encouraging and warm. You ladies are the best!
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jeannie57, Sorry to hear you have lymphedema, Me too. The very best thing you can do about this is visit the Lymphedema thread here on BCO where you will learn how to advocate for yourself, learn tips, get help when you are frustrated etc. We are a great bunch of girls with tons of ideas for lymphedema management.
It is not weird that you got LE with 5 nodes out on your non cancer side. Many girls on the Lymphedema thread have got LE with just a single node out. You can definitely get it on your other
Side to and also in your chest,breast and trunk, so you will want to be educated about this and see if you can reduce your risks.
Some of the girls on our LE thread made a excellent website called step-upspeak-out.org
Google it, to educate yourself. Use the key word Lymphedema to find that site as I am not sure if I have the correct spelling of the web address.
We welcome you and will answer any questions with no judgements.
If you are wearing a sleeve you probably should be at least wearing a gauntlet so you don't push fluid into your hand from your sleeve. Lymphedivas are the prettiest garments out there. Josh, who is at Lymphedivas is a great guy and he helped us girls design a sleeve for hospital stays, it is bright yellow and has a script on the arm that says "no BPs or needles. At risk arm" You can google it on the lymphediva site. It is for when you go into surgery so no one bps or sticks you in you at risk arm.
Don't let anyone no matter how much you trust them to take a BP or needle on both of your arms. Even the one without LE because it could trigger it. The docs will try and convince you but tell them to take it from your foot or ankle. They really don' t know beans about LE.
Not to scare you, I just want to save you grief in the end.
P
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Dear Jeannie!! I just love seeing your pretty smile, what a great picture!!! I am lifting you up in prayer right now, for your last treatments, your husband's job search and strength for you!! Your strong faith will get you through all of this!! I am taking your advice about worry!! I am such worrier, and you are so right, it does not help at all!!! You are such an inspiration!!!
I also have lymphedema in my left arm! Finding a good LE therapist is important!!! I had a great one in Chicago and I just got another referral from onc. I wear my sleeve every day, and it seems under control right now. Prayers are coming for you to resolve this!!!
God bless you!!!!! Kathy0 -
Kinder, Yes a qualified LE therapist is a must. Glad to hear you are proactive wearing a sleeve. Anyone that has had even one node out should visit the lymphedema thread because you want to catch the beast before it gets out of the cage. A high majority of people have it and don' t even know it but it is even reversible at an early stage.
Mild tingling, heavy arm feeling, mild swelling, like you can't get your rings off, a tired arm after a bit of work, these are early symptoms that your doctor may dismiss. The majority of docs really don't get adequate training in school and believe that you only have lymphedema if you are hugely swollen. Not so. And they have no clue you can get it in your trunk,breast,chest. If you have even one node out your whole quadrant can be affected on that side of your body.
Post your questions there about your surgery and node involvement and we will answer your questions. I urge you to be educated, please.
I pray for your health and better days to come.0 -
Thanks, hugz4u and Kathy. I appreciate prayers so much!
I have been seeing a Lymphedema specialist since rads, so we have been keeping an eye on things. The effected arm has reduced swelling now, thanks to massage and sleeve WITH gauntlet. I feel I am well-cared for, just don't know where an IV would be placed during surgery. I'll talk to the PS next time about it and check the L thread.0 -
Thank you, hugzfu!!! Cute name!!! I will definitely check out the lymphedema thread again!!! Blessings to you, Kathy
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Hi Ladies,
Thank you for all the prayers. I am just now responding because yesterday and today I have been struggling with a stomach virus. I have been unable to keep my Gabapentin (nerve medicine) down until late this afternoon. I have nerve pain in my arm (BC side) as well as the foot and between vomiting, fever and pain, I have had enough. I still feel nauseated, but the vomiting has stopped. I had the stitches taken out of my three foot incisions the other day, and it was absolutely excruciating. I sobbed the entire time. They had to dig some of the stitches out. Today I finally felt well enough to check my email, and I began to sob again when I read an email from my neighbor in Western NC. We will be leaving on Thursday to return home. I don't even know why I was crying. It was a nice email as my neighbor said she was praying for me and my DH. I think I am very weary and weak. My head and back are throbbing. Please pray that my BIL who is recovering from a triple bypass doesn't catch this from me.
As for my knees, I have been sitting on my knee scooter. I just can't handle any more pain. I have a doctor appointment with an orthopedic doctor on Tuesday for my knees.
Jeannie, I agree with Kathy, you have a beautiful smile and profile pic. I will be praying that your last four treatments will be easier on you. Hang in there Hon.
Fondak, prayers are coming for your son. Is he doing any better?
Mini, not everyone has nerve pain with foot surgery and I hope that your sister doesn't experience it. You are wise not to share my experience.
CCFW, thankfully I have never had ingrown toenails. It sounds very painful. I hope you heal quickly from your treatments and I will be praying for you.
Love all you ladies and don't know what I would do without your encouragement and prayers.0 -
Dearest Rocket, I have tears in my eyes just reading your post!!! I can't even imagine the pain that you had to endure. I am praying that when you get home and in your own surroundings and bed, that some normalcy will return!!! Prayers are coming as well for your brother for continued healing and no viruses!!! Everything has hit you at once, once this trial is over, may you only have blessings, joy and laughter for a long time! This is the last year of famine, as Joseph endured. Seven years of peace are coming your way!!! You have endured enough pain and stress! Our Lord is proud of how you have handled everything with such grace, and His grace will be given to you!!!! Blessings and Love, Kathy
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Rocket, I am so sorry to hear about all the pain you have been enduring. I am absolutely praying for you. Also, praying no one else catches it, especially your brother-in-law. I am amazed that you have the mind to even recall the previous posts and ask about my son. He is still running a fever and can barely talk from this flu that is going around. He is better though. Thank you for asking.
Jeannine, I'm praying for you and your husband as well. I agree with others on the profile pic.
I also needed the reminder about the sleeves. I've slacked off with mine. I didn't realize you could get it on the opposite side.
Kindergarten, you had a good many lymph nodes removed didn't you? I had 9. I don't know if that included the sentiel, or whatever it's called, node. Didn't mean to go in italics here but it was taking me to long to try to get it all highlighted at one time to switch back. Thanks for sharing the info Hugz4u. What is a gauntlet? My surgery was on the right side and I've had swelling in that arm. Not to bad but that arm does tire easily and feels heavy at times. However, I haven't been able to get my wedding ring on, which is the other arm, since I took it off for my surgery regarding the ovaries. We almost couldn't get it off for the surgery. It was scary! Before chemo it was loose. I wear a larger cheap ring and I have days that it is really tight. I have gained weight since then though. Jo5, hope you and Dan are doing well and not getting any of this sickness on top of everything else. Hope it's missing all you ladies and Rocket I hope your bug will soon be history! It's easy to be emotional when you are physically weak. I'm praying for you. Love and prayers for you all!0 -
Thanks Fondak and Kathy for the prayers and kind words. I feel a bit stronger today, but my stomach still isn't ready for anything other than liquids and a couple of crackers. I haven't eaten in three days, but I will try some broth and more crackers this evening. I was able to keep my medication down last night and today. I'm very impatient and tend to get discouraged when I'm in pain or sick. Sorry for my rant yesterday.
The good news is that in three more weeks I should be able to walk on my foot again in a fracture boot. I can hardly wait. I should take a picture of my foot every week to encourage myself with the progress. By summer I hope to be walking my dogs on the groomed carriage trails where people ride horses and walk dogs at a beautiful park not far from our home. Rhododendrons grow wild there and they are stunning when in full bloom. There's also a lovely lake with two swans, Canadian geese, ducks and a beaver. It is the prettiest park I have ever seen. In November we had a beautiful snow storm. It was one of those lovely falling snows that you see in a Norman Rockwell painting. My DH, Mike, and I bundled up and took the dogs for a walk. We were the only ones there and had the most romantic walk. The dogs loved it too! It is a place that I wish I could share with all of you. I feel my spirit calm just writing about it.
Again, I can't thank you all enough for your prayers and support. I'm sure God works through each of you to bless me and others. You are very dear to me!0 -
Hi, Rocket, I am so glad that you are turning a corner!! It sounds so beautiful where you live, each season bringing its own beauty!! I miss the snow, but we are only an hour away if we need a fix!!!
I am now asking for prayer and advice!!! My son and daughter - in- law are having serious relationship issues. My granddaughter is keeping them together for now, because neither one of them can stand to be away from her!! I love my daughter-in-law so much, but she is very tough sometimes and my son is very stubborn!! They are both good people. Can I ask you, how involved should I be??? Maybe moving out here was not suc a great idea!! Her parents are both deceased and I think she is a little upset that my son enjoys being with his dad. They run a baseball business together and I am involved the marketing PR . Any advice would be greatly appreciated !!!!0 -
So happy to have found this thread. My faith has gotten stronger. God has given me strength and calmness that I never thought was possible
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Every marriage/relationship has it's ups and downs. I have struggled at times during that past 30 years with "do really want to be married" ? Even made plans to move one time. I have now just accepted my husband, faults and all and I really do love him.
Is your DIL a religious person ? Are they open to counseling ? Does she confide in you, may be hard since your are the "mother" ? Does your son confide in his dad ?
There are so many articles out there on children of divorce. A divorce will affect the children in so many many negative ways. There are lasting affects that carry on to adulthood and future relationship.
Divorce is the fastest way to poverty I once read.
PRAY PRAY PRAY. Do some reading on affects of divorce, maybe gently pass it on. GOOD LUCK, such a sad situation
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Oh Kathy, that just breaks my heart! The mother-in-law role is very difficult when you are the mother of a son. It's such a delicate balance. I say this from experience. Someone gave me some humorous advice before my son's wedding that has a ring of truth to it, "Shut up and wear beige!" I interpreted it to mean that I should give advice very sparingly. My husband and I read a book called, "The Five Languages of Love" or "The Five Love Languages". We really learned a lot from this Christian book and wished we'd had it earlier in our marriage. We then told our DS and DIL about how much we enjoyed it, and they read it too. Our DS and DIL have a good marriage however so don't know if it would seem critical to your DIL. She probably feels threatened by your close relationship to your son. Is there a way to involve your DIL in your business? I'll be praying for you and them.
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Dearest Natalie, Thank you, thank you for your sound advice. Welcome to this wonderful thread. My daughter-in-law and son are very religious and they both have confided in us about their issues, maybe that is the problem, they need to communicate with each other. Thank you again, and I do believe they open to counseling. God bless you and is there anything that you need in prayer? Kathy
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Dearest Rocket, thank you, thank you for taking the time to respond!!!! You have so much on your plate right now!!! I so,appreciate your advice!!!!!You are so right about the delicate balance of Mother-in-law hood!! I so remember the adage of "shut up and wear beige"!!! You made me chuckle, thanks!! I am so humbled as to how Our Lord takes of us - His children. I talked with my daughter-in-law and son today. They are going to seek counseling!! Praise The Lord!!!! My husband had a nice conversation with our son!!! Liz would love to be more involved with our son' s business, but she still nursing Lily!!! i will also get that book for them. What would I do without you wonderful Christian Sisters? CCFW,I just love your teakettle analogy, so wise and so true!!!! Blessings to each and everyone of you!!!!!
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Rocket I am so thankful you are beginning to feel better. I'm sure once you can eat your strenght will improve even quicker. I can just picture the park in the winter and spring as well. I love rhododendrons! I remember when I was just a youngster and we went to the mountains. They were growing wild there and in bloom. It was so beautiful.
Do you journal? I was thinking, it would be wonderful to write about that day in a letter to Erin. You could give it to her when she gets married or some other special day. You could even make giving it to her a special day.
KIndergarten, I was glad to hear that your son and dil are willing to work on things. I read the 5 LOve Languages for Children and really found it helpful. I'm sure they will benefit from the other.
I'm not a mother-in-law but sure hope to be someday. As a sister in Christ I would encourage you to pray and point them to Christ. I would like to think I would sit them down and tell them both how much I love them but there is something greater than both of them and that is Christ and I am going to be praying that they would start loving Christ more than they love themselves. Then when they say they are staying together for their daughter I would ask.....where does Christ fit into that. If they are both considering divorce get them to really look at their heart because that would break Christ's heart and that should motivate them even more than their concern for their daughter.
Too, if they say they are going to stay married to please God but they are not loving that person and wanting what's best for the other person, God is still not pleased. God sees and cares about our heart. So, I will be praying for their hearts to change and their marriage to glorify God.
I've had to work that out in my own life and still work on it. It's so difficult to seeing how much like the Pharisees I can be. The more I learn about scripture, the more I see Christ is so much more loving than I ever knew and I'm so much more depraved than I ever knew.
I'll be praying for you too. I know that must be so difficult.
CCFW Have you had your doctors appointment yet? They canceled the first one didn't they?
Hi Natalie, I am glad you found this board. Are you newly diagnosed? Don't you just love when God gives you things you never thought possible like calmness in the storm!
Love you all and keeping you in my prayers!
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Dear Fondak, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!!! I want them to live Christ-Centered lives, knowing that They are meant to be together to honor and glorify HIM!!! They are also raising a child of God, which makes them both more accountable! As they go through counseling, I am praying that both their hearts soften!! I feel very blessed knowing that prayers are flowing!!!
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Fondak, such wise insight! I think when we marry as young people, we tend to think about what we will get from a marriage rather than why we are truly getting married, to give ourselves to another and bring honor and glory to our Lord in the process. We are selfish creatures except by the grace of God. I continue to pray for your relationship to your DH that it will grow and strengthen in love, companionship, trust, and most importantly, the Lord. You are so right, that Christ must be first in our marriage relationship, in fact ALL relationships. Bless you for your sage wisdom and counsel.
Kathy, the correct book title is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Smalley. I would recommend it for even longer-standing marriages. It truly is excellent. Thanks also for the suggestion about letters to Erin. I LOVE that idea. I'm going to start working on it. You are always so sweet and kind. Praying for you and your family Dear!
Welcome Natalie! So happy to have you here. You will find it a warm place filled with refreshing encouragement and hope.0 -
Dearest Rocket!!! Thank you for the title of the book!!! I so appreciate your loving advice!!! Hey, dear I think it was Fondak who gave the advice on the letters to Erin, it is such a great idea! How are you feeing??? I hope and pray every day finds you feeling better!!! God bless you and to all of my Christian Sisters here!!!!
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Goodness yes, I beg your pardon! Sorry Fondak! I do love the letters to Erin idea. You've got me thinking about what topics to write. Thank you so much for the inspiration. Love you Girl!
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I have sons and worried about the old adage - A son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all of her life - when my sons first got married. I didn't worry too much about my oldest because he married the daughter of good friends of ours, but I wasn't sure about my youngest; although I really liked his wife. She has turned out to be such a blessing, even though she's struggling with her belief in God right now. I pray that God speaks to her heart. She's in an all roads lead to heaven place right now. We pray for their family and trust God to honor those prayers. It is a tightrope walk sometimes, but I am really blessed as a MIL and by my own MIL. God is good. :-)
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Dear CCFW, prayers are coming for yout appt. tomorrow!!! Please let us know how it all went!!! The shirt you are designing sounds awesome, do you sell them as well? Yes, Mini, God is so Good. So many of my prayers have been answered!!! I really love both of my daughter-in- laws so much, praying that their marriages always thrive by the Grace of God!!!! Have a wonderful evening!!!
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