Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
Comments
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Love the new pic Carrol2!
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fragrantroses: I have been following your posts and want you to know how much I appreciate your detailed descriptions, your honesty and your sense of humour. I think you are an amazing woman!
I haven't had rads so I can't speak to what you can expect from Maxine, but as you are still so early in the process, I would think there would be options for you to improve the symmetry between Maxine and Glinda down the road. And I think Glinda looks very attractive and natural, and not at all like a baggie of amish starter.
As for bras, I tried on dozens and found the same issues with filling out the cup. However, I also found that cups with a slight bit of stretch to them had much less crinking at the front of the cup, provided they had a good fit to begin with. I'm hoping to have nipple reconstruction down the road, but in the interim I have been thinking of ordering a set of silcone "stick-on" nipples - I think they have some projection, which I'm hoping will make a difference in filling out the front of the cups as well.
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Got my new wireless bras from Herroom but am going to return them. As others have described, I just don't fill out the cups. Will continue my quest to find comfortable wireless bras that fit! I may go back to the hospital gift shop for some ideas. They bill my insurance and I can have three more bras this year. Meanwhile, I've got great new wired bras that fit and look good!
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I thought I would provide some pics to illustrate what I described in my previous post, i.e. that cups with a bit of stretch seem to help compensate in filling out the front of bras.
Here is an example of what I look like in 90% of all the bras I have tried on. This bra is very comfortable and I feel it gives me the sternum and lateral support I am looking for (it has very supportive side panels you can't see in this photo), but I can't wear it under anything that is tight fitting due to the crinkling at the apex of the cup. The crinkling is in a different place on each side as my left implant currently sits higher and more laterally than my right. This bra is not underwired.
Here is another bra that is not underwired. After I fiddle with the straps (making sure the band is tight enough that it does not ride up), I can practically eliminate the crinkling.
Here is an example of an underwired bra. It is currently my favourite, but I am a little leery about wearing it, since my PS said no underwire.
I should point out that I have implants with extra full profile, so perhaps that makes a difference in terms of filling out the cup. But, as I mentioned, I could not fill out 90% of the dozens and dozens of bras I tried on.
Also, this is very new to me. I could not wear bras at all throughout the TEs phase, as they were rock sold and in very different positions (the left one was practically in my armpit). So if someone who is more knowledgeable than I am thinks these bras do not conform to the fantastic fitting guidelines provided in this thread, please say something! I don't want to mislead anyone.
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I'm getting a bit anxious reading these posts since I came home Friday with no bra. I go for post-op tomorrow and am looking very forward to discussing them.
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Dragonfly2012 - thanks for posting pics. What is the brand /style of the bras in the 2nd and 3rd pics?
I ordered coobie bra to sleep in. Anyone like that one?0 -
Dragonfly - That second bra fits you fabulously! The third is good ... but the second one is a perfect fit!
fragrantroses - With your rad side ... and this is just MHO ... I'm not sure wearing a prothesis while it is healing is helpful. With rad skin being as tricky as it can be ... anything rubbing it like a prosthesis ... it may be trouble. You said the gauze is better ... go that way for sure. Is it possible to not put anything in the cup? Like Caroll said ... you may need a molded cup bra. That rad skin needs to be left alone ... just my opinion, though. Also ... PS's and most of us for that matter ... don't know what we're talking about when we talk cup size. What we think is a "C" cup may not really be one and same goes for our PS's. It is most helpful when talking to your PS to talk in terms of size you were before ... "I want to be the same size, smaller, bigger..."
shore1 - I've heard of that bra ... a lot of ladies wear that one while they're in the TE stage. I've never seen one in person or worn one, though. I like Marena bras to sleep in.
Regarding the extra room in cups ... remember that we don't have an important part of natural breasts that give 'em that 'oomph ... the areola complex. It is hard, sometimes impossible to find a bra that will be completely fill out with our reconstructed breasts. But what we've seen above and has been my experience ... is that we keep trying different brands, different styles until we find one that works for us. We've got some Soma gals here, we've got some Wacoal gals, Anita, Freya, Chantelle, etc... keep trying until you find the brand, the style that works for you. It can get overwhelming and depressing trying so many different bras ... but keep trying until you find what works. Also ... if you haven't been professionally fitted ... you need to go somewhere that has professional fitters who've been trained to work with reconstructed breasts ... Nordstroms, Bra Shops, MX stores ... if you live near Carol or Delilahbear ... they work for Soma ... but go somewhere and be fitted. The have a lot of knowledge of brands and styles that we may not be familiar with.
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I'm 8 weeeks post recon. My ps said support bra 24/7 for 4-6 weeks. After that to continue with wearing a support bra but no underwire. I went to a speciality store where there are certified mastectomy fitters. I pleased to find out that my insurance company pays for up to 4 bras per years. You just need a script. My ps said I was a c cup, but from the look of it I'm a B. I've been unhappy with the size since the exhange. So I was really upset when the bra fitter was putting my in a A cup, other brands a small B. I hope they still "fluff" up a bit more.
Laurenm730- I went to a place that Sloan recommended- Personal Touch Boutigue. They are located in E. Northport and at Good Samaritan Hospital in W. Islip. You can find their info on the web
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Dragonfly, thank you for the pictorial support.
Your first photo looks like me in a bra. Obviously not filling out the bra. I would be okay with the second bra and I see the stretchy componnent you mention. I have a molded cup that looked awesome - stuffed. But I really have to stuff them tight because the front of the "molded cup" buckles in...like leaving a fist mark in dry wall kind of look. Not pretty at all. So I have avoided the molded cups unless I'm willing to stuff them. And thank you for your kind words. I am rather well known for my "get real" view on life. I won't take the time to detail all I mean, but I was raised in a very sheltered and restrictive home. There were things we "did not talk about as it was inappropriate for young girls." But that ignorance to "real life" put me in harm's way repeatedly and made me a target for preditors. So use my voice to help other women get real. A lot of what people consider my sense of humor is just me being real ...Glinda is okay in a bra. Maxine is the one who needs the real assistance, although because of her swelling that has not gone away - she gives awesome cleavage, and a very lopsided appearance. I have done the strethy bras and I have some from Penneys that I wear for sleeping because they are comfortable on their girls. But they do not level out the appearance of the girls. Without some kind of formal bra, it's obvious that Glinda hangs all the way across the front and Maxine is high and tight under my second (or is it third) chin.
Dawne-Hope, you give me something to consider. The PS said the SKIN has healed nicely but that tissue underneath is still irritated. But the whole thing is quite tender, so as a homemaker - i'm not required to be dressed for company daily. So most of the time I'm wearing a bra that doesn't require any prosthesis. But I have no shape either. THEN I was told or I read it here somewhere that I needed to be wearing a bra with lots of lateral support to "train and shape" the implants on where they were supposed to sit. So then I started wearing the pink bra since it's got the most lateral support I have currently. But I could try stuffing a lot more gauze until I hav a better indication that Maxineis healing more. I have found the skin is SOOOOO sensitive to touch (on Maxine especially) that I was pulling the prosthesis out and shoving them into my purse when I was out. I just couldn't tolerate it. I will give the gauze a try for a while. Thanks for that imput.
I got frustrated because you are kind of led to believe that reconstruction will make you look and feel normal - at least in clothes. I don't care what the actual skin and tissue looks like, if I can tuck them into a pretty bra. Yes. I am something of a diva. It was probably 2008/2009 before I found out how a good bra could change your appearance and I invested in pretty bras that held the old girls up where they were attractive. Then came the BC and though my MO never implied this...nurses, medical support staff, they were all rather like...well you can have reconstruction and be "as good as new." Well this isn't as good as...it's not even close. But that's okay, if I can put on a pretty bra and LOOK like it fits and it's real. But I found mastectomy bras were not pretty. There were some that were passable, but for the most part they looked like the great harnessed quilted and reinforced jobbies that my grandmother wore and my mom made me wear for my first 8 years of wearing bras (age 9 - 17). At 18 I bought cheap but pretty bras at Walmart and she had a fit. (Mom, I mean). Her belief was you wore pretty underthings for men and at 18 I had no business wearing pretty. But for ME - knowing I had on pretty underwear made me FEEL pretty even if no one else thought I was. It gives me confidence to step out of my comfort zone. So I NEED these bras to work...for my mental status and coping with what BC took away. I need my confidence back and I don't want to be "that woman who had breast cancer." My BS feels bad about this. He and I talked about the pain of TE and how he has patients all the time saying they had no clue what to expect. He feels that to educate women about the lengthy and often painful process is like a slap to the face of PS. And as he told me, we come into see him scared from our diagnosis and we are hanging on to hope of reconstruction. The last thing he was wanted to do was diminish anyone's hope. So I told them to send them to me. Hope is one thing. Thinking you will be as good as new is a lie. I was a D/DD and filled those puppies up to the rim. I didn't want to appear that big after the reconstruction. I told the surgeon, I wanted to look like I've lost weight and had a breast reduction. I looked GREAT in TE. Mine never took on weird box shapes or moved to opposite poles of my chest. I would have KEPT the TEs and been fine with the concrete bra...but Maxine's TE blew a leak. So here I am trying to make something work.0 -
fragrantroses - I hear you.
Especially for radiated skin ... fat grafting can work wonders. Have you talked to your PS about that procedure? There is a thread about radiated skin and fat grafting ... I think whippetmom started it ...
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/70/topic/744891?page=3#idx_76
PM Val61 and she may be able to offer more suggestions. I'm sorry I can't say or do more. Like you, it was six months prior to being diagnosed that I finally figured out I was wearing the wrong size and got properly fitted and ... wow ... I looked great in my clothes for six months.
I/we so get the desire to want to be pretty and whole again ... to be able to wear pretty things. There are options out there ... I pray for encouragment, wisdom and direction for you in knowing what to do next. [[hugs]]
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ok woo hoo if we are flashing our bras here are a couple of mine
this is the Soma Vanishing back bra called Nadia, so comfy.
and this is Soma's Allura Jolie I like the shape they give me
I beleive these bras really helped shaped things for me as I healed.
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You can sort of see that my left side in the upper pole area is a little more hollow where the cancer was taken out than my right which was propholactic. In clothes though you really can't tell much.
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Carrol2 - I really like the bottom one. Can't wait to see my PS next week to get the all clear for underwires!
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fragrantroses: I wonder if you could use some sort of gel pack (typically used for cold therapy) as stuffing. I put these inside my bra after my lumpectomies (prior to mastectomy) and they were so soothing. They stay soft and squishy, even when they are cold, but you could keep them at room temp. There are oval ones that are indicated for breast use, here is a link (hope it works, links here seem to be hit and miss for me).
www.skin-spa.com/therapearl-oval.htm
shore1: The second bra is Wonderbra #2483. It is a Canadian brand and widely available here. I know they have distribution in the US, but it might be just as hard to find as some of the bras described in this thread are for me! However, when I was googling all the US brands I think I saw one that looked very similar. It might have been a Wacoal? Third bra is a Triumph #1868 (Cool Sensation Minimizer). I'm pretty sure that brand is available in the US.
Dawne-Hope: Thanks SO much for the feedback! I agree the second bra fits better and is more comfortable but I have defects on both medial aspects... loose skin on the right and a depression and dog-ear (whippetmom told me it was a step-off defect) on the left. The underwire in the third bra compresses the loose skin so my cleavage looks normal for a while when I take it off. Part of me is hoping that if I wear it consistently for a long enough period, the loose skin will knit to the underlying tissue and make the defect less noticeable. Probably wishful thinking... (sigh).
Carrol2: Love, love, love that Allura Jolie! You look fantastic :-).
I wish more plastic surgeons would provide proper guidance on selecting bras. It seems to make a world of difference and if it wasn't for this thread I would not have had a clue. Thank you all!
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Jamie my PS surgeon had me in underwire at 8 weeks those pics are at 10 weeks they ahve actually dropped a little more since then since it's now 11 months. Getting my nipples and fine tuning oct 30th
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Dawne, I have talked to the PS about fat graphing and he's encouraging about it. He believes he can help Maxine. But he said he won't be rushing into it...that he wanted to make sure she had changed as much as she was going to do before we start tweaking. But I've also developed some skepticism about PS. They also told me I would be "nearly good as new." Nope. Didn't happen. So while Whippetmom recommended the FG, and the doctor is enthusiastic and the consult doc said he wouldn't want to do further reconstruction until I had given FG a chance...I'm just not sure I will believe good results until I see good results.
Dragonfly I will look into the cold pack idea. I have several left from rads days and various other surgeries. My first reaction was the edges will hurt, but you mention this one is made for breasts so I'll look at it. I also wonder about sweating under it. Sweating gets Maxine bright red, so I try to avoid it. But I have some that have a kind of flocked surface and that might work too. But at $8 I'll give a chance!
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What does drop and fluff reallly mean? Can anyone explain what to expect with that? Not sure what to expect how our foobs will change. I am happy with the way they look now and I am one week post exchange. Just wondering what to expect.
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sherry I can only tell you what drop and fluff was for me. WHen I first get home I did not like the look of things. My implants were sort of flat and sqaure looking they were contracted way inot my chest. Then it was kind of like a tennis ball in a sock and they kind of dropped down into the pocket and when they got to the toe part they looked rounder and fuller. It took abut 10 weeks for mine to do this and there was a pretty big difference in the look. I am sure it is different for everyone especially depending on what the PS had to do to the pocket, if there was alloderm or fat grafting etc.0
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SherryC - For me ... the drop and fluff ... everything just looked more 'relaxed.' Mine looked so small, so tight on my chest ... and as the pec muscle relaxed over time ... they dropped into the pocket and looked fuller.
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Dragonfly2012 - Thanks for posting the pictures of the bras with the "crinkling", could be me! What brand and style is the in the middle picture, the one you can "fiddle with" and get it to fit well?0
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Golden01: It is Wonderbra style #2483, a Canadian brand. It's widely available here, but probably difficult to find in stores in the US. I did find a online site that sells and ships Wonderbra (and other Canadian brands of lingerie) to the US and Europe, but don't know anything about them other than that so I can't vouch for them. This site only seems to sell it in white and beige (which is more of a peachy pink) but it also comes in black and cappucino colour. You can see the bra on their site at the following URL.
www.basicsbymail.com/wonderbra/91
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Thanks for the info! Think I'll go to Sears and try one on.
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Ha! Studying tonight ... came across the greek word,"soma." "Soma" is Greek for 'body.'
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I scanned through the photo bra site and Freya is definately a popular brand. For bigger girls like myself, what brand do some of you experts recommend for someone needing a 42/44 band width? The Freya's were awesome, and I've seen awesome Fantasie as well. But all I really find in my size are Elomi and Goddess. Does anyone have a 3 cup suggestion in THESE bras? That Arabella looks awesome, but she's too little for me right now anyway. And it sucks that I've gained 10 lbs on this low carb diet. HOW does that happen?
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fragrantroses -PM val61. Also bare necessities has a whole section for bigger band sizes. Put in the 3-part cup criteria in the search section and it will give some names....I'll see if I can link it...but sometimes when it links, it doesn't work properly....
http://www.barenecessities.com/special.aspx?specialpage=BarePlus&exp=bp0 -
Received an email from "Linda's Online" today and in it she listed some sleep bras. A lot of the bras that she lists as 'sleep' bras are bras that many of us have used after our exchange.
Post-exchange or sleep bras ... there are some good ones here:
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How soon after exchange surgery is it ok to be properly fitted for a bra? I have my post-op appointment this Friday (10 days) and made an appointment at the hospital boutique for a fitting. Is it too soon?
Also, if I were to also go to Nordstrom's further down the road, would I need another prescription?
Thanks for your help! I'm glad I found this discussion!0 -
Fragrantroses (Rosey): Freya bras are actually made for bigger sizes... just for looking... check out figleaves.com and lembrassa.com -- they both carry Freya bras in larger sizes... as well as Fantasie (which also are made by Freya company) and Fauve (DH is that also a Freya brand)?
You might also look at herroom.com and barenecessities.com... to see what sizes they carry in these styles (as suggested above). You need to consult a conversion chart, though, for sizing; these are British made bras and therefore your American sizing numbers are not exactly translatable in British sizing. So in fact you may wear, say, a 44F (or something like that) rather than a 44DDD in British sizing... the charts are pretty easy to read. You find your American size and it shows you the equivalent British size. My one recommendation is that, wherever you order from (should you try the on line mail order option) make sure you carefully read the return policy in case you need to do some "try and return/exchange" at first. They ARE so pretty, these bras, that it's worth investigating.
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Karenr...my Ps doesn't seem to be the norm but said at my post op appt yesterday that I'm free to shop now.
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Sending back the wirefree bras that were too big to Herrroom and ordering my favorite Chantelle "C Chic" (3641) as a replacement. It's available in "Perfect Nude" now. Last month, it was just available in black and purple. Here's the link: http://www.herroom.com/chantelle-3641-c-chic-sexy-3-part-plunge-underwire-bra.shtml#
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