August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone has some websites they like with some simple quick recipes. Between being nauseous and tired most of the time and the kids needing extra attention I haven't been able to cook much and I feel guilty. I'm hoping since I had the last AC on Friday the nausea will start to pass. I usually have it form one treatement to the next, but the next treatment is Taxol. I feel guilty alot lately, anyone else struggling with that?
My 5 yo asked last night if we needed to go to the dr to see if he caught my cancer. The SW told us they might ask that but it's been months since he's mentioned anything so it really surprised me. I think we reassured him; he asked if his sister or DH would catch it too and seemed fine afterwards. DH thinks it's great that he's talking about it, but I just feel like crying.
Carolyn
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Carolyn - how funny that I was just wondering what on earth to make for dinner! THis cold has my tummy a little off and nothing looks good, let alone cooking it! BLEH! I wish I had some ideas. My kids may get pancakes tonight.
By the way, my six year old had an inflammed lymph node (we found out from lyme) and he came to me and said that he had cancer. It is good that they can talk about it. I remember when my grandmother had breast cancer I was totally terrified. I didn't understand it - I was about nine and I was petrified that every change in my newly forming breasts was something horrible. I carried a lot of fear around with me. I didn't have the courage to tell anybody. It IS good that he's talking about it -your reassurance will go a LONG WAY! Funny that I forgot about that until now..... Kind of ironic that I'm here in light of that, but it took 31 years to catch up with me!
I'm breathing a little easier but every muscle hurts. Too my temp and it was 98.8 - guess that doesn't count as a temp. I think I'm just wiped out. My back and neck all hurt from coughing. Looking forward to being done with all of this! My mom brought the kiddos home and three out of the four are sick with the same cold, along with DH. NOT fun!
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Lizzy - I completed AC (number 4) last Monday. So this "should" be my good week. I feel so cheated! And SO totally not ready to do taxol Monday. I'm finding myself angry that I have to -- I think I've paid my dues with feeling like garbage this week!
My onc nurse, who talked to the doctor, said if I ran a temp or felt worse and worse to call right away and they would start the abx. However since I just caught this cold Sunday, they wanted to see if it would run its course in the next day or so --- I hope so. I just took a nap and was able to lie down and sleep without being short of breath. I took a long shower before I did and maybe that's why - going to try that tonight before bed!
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Hi Everyone--I have been away from computer for a few days. Had Run for the Cure on Sunday--actually did the 5km (walking) but it was good. Our team won #1 award for the most money raised by a group of family/friends! Unfortunately, now I have a cold....great. I have a cough that won't seem to go away and is getting more flemmy (sp?) as each day passes. I will call Oncologist office and leave message tonight to let them know. I don't want to do chemo sick but I also hate the thought of a delay....my next chemo is next Friday (first Taxotere after FEC).
It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada--but my husband and youngest son will be in US for hockey tournament....so just me and my oldest---hopefully some relaxing time and hopefully will get better before next Thurs blood work.
p.s. Hair thing--I shaved mine and let the stubble drop out--I didn't want to close shave it--didn't want to risk a cut....!
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Great song choice!
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Rachel - join the yucky cold cough club!
The most important thing is to try to keep your lungs clear. If you feel the least bit like it's worsening, get on antibiotics. I think we are at risk for pneumonia much more than usual when we're on chemo. But it sure does stink.
Nurse told me today "Honey you've had four chemos -it's going to take you a lot longer and harder to fight this cold than it would under regular circumstances."
meh.... Anyway, now my whole family has it. My kids, who are super charged immunewise, it seems, and haven't been sick in over a year are now all down with it as is my husband. It stinks for sure!
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Sorry guys! Roids had me going again today!!
Yankees v Twins...ALDS...must watch
Have a good night and happy trails to you all!
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HI All,
I am sorry to hear about some of the rough colds and allergic reactions folks are having this week. I don't post here often because I started chemo on Sept 10th, but I have read through everybody's journey and learned so much from you. I also gathered a lot of courage.
I am posting today because I have a question about reactions to decadron and how to manage them. My second TC chemo got delayed this week because I had high liver enzyme counts, but before I learned that, I had already taken the premeds (4 pills the day before, 2 the morning of).
I just had the hardest 24 hours of my life! Even without the chemo in my body, the decadron caused not only the usual fluid retention, red face, swelling, etc, but I also had an intense headache, nausea, muscle weekness and, worst of all, a sort of "brain brakedown", where I really felt paranoid, scared and unhinged. I took some ativan, which helped some, but the headaches and wierd fears kept welling up uncontrollably. Has anyone else had this problem? Is this what they call the steroid crash? I am wondering how to handle it going forward as it really scared me.
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Beau: I fell asleep in the 8th inning of the Yankees v Twins ALDS game 1 because I was knocked out, albeit temporarily, from my day. Most unfortunately I took my evening dose of deca later (8ish) where I usually take it at 5 so I can sleep. Now I have been up since 1:20, or nearly 3 hours. Decadron really helps but it has SEs that are cumbersome also.
I can't imagine having to take my 2 in the morning and evening the day before the day before and then 2 the morning of, which is my schedule, only to be told my blood was not appropriate to get chemo. That is a rough crash to go through. I don't feel so hot when I come off the decadron and I do seem to be able to catch up on some sleep but I think in your case, you are in the throws of a hard crash. I wish I had more definitive advice to give you based on actual experience but I don't.
You have every right to be concerned about your blood results and I would think some of that is playing into this for you. Perhaps some of the other girls, when they rise (!), will be able to offer some more insight. Also, on the headaches, we have all discussed them. I think it might have to do with the stress of the entire experience and for you coming off of the decadron prematurely and in a harsh way at that certainly can exacerbate anything you might be feeling.
I hope you are doing better now but I do sense you might have another day of rough seas ahead. Let me know how you are doing. I wish I could be of more help.
Chemo brain: Well, last night I put the remote control for my kitchen tv in the refrigerator! I also left my keys at CVS, at the pharmacy of course. Finally, I dropped my glasses in the kitchen and spent 2 hours looking for them. Good times, indeed, good stuff!
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I seem to have finally turned a corner and slept really hard last night. The rest of my gang is sick so it will be a big pot of chicken soup on the stove this morning! Glad my lungs finally cleared and I could breathe last night!
Decadron headaches!! ARGH! I start on Monday. I'm NOT looking forward to the megadoses of drugs that come with this!
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Good morning Ladies!
Calamtykel: I know you've had some improvement with your cold, but I'm still very concerned about you. And so sorry you've had to deal with all this. I have a few suggestions, if that's alright. First, stay in close contact with your onc's office, and like I think Lizzy said, keep a detailed diary. Also, I would ask my onc about a steroid inhaler (like albuterol) to help keep the inflammation down in your lungs. I would try sleeping propped up on pillows to help you get some decent sleep. And if you're still having pain from all the coughing, ask for Flexeril or something like it to relax those muscles. Every time I get bronchitis (fairly regularly), they give me flexeril (a muscle relaxant) to ease the pain from all the coughing and spasms. I do hope you feel better soon. Just remember, no question is too small for your onc; no question should go unanswered. It's what they're there for. Better safe than sorry.
Rachel: Congratulations to you on the Run/Walk for the Cure, and Happy Thanksgiving!
beau: While the Decadron "crash" can be very difficult, it sounds to me like this is more than just a crash. In my amateur opinion, like these symptoms are being caused by the Decadron itself, not the withdrawal from it. Decadron can have powerful effects on mood - everything from depression to mania, irritability, agitation, apathy, paranoia. You might want to consider calling your onc (I would definitely do this) and tell him/her what happened, and even talk about a smaller dose next time, or increasing anti-anxiety meds, or even skipping the steroids altogether. I don't take the Decadron at all (not even in the infusion) because of my bipolar disorder, and I do fine without it. I took it the first Tx, and realized it was too dangerous for me, so asked to be taken off it. My onc and psychiatrist agreed. Since then, I have found all the other support meds take care of me just as well without it. Above all, lay out in detail for your onc what you experienced, and tell him/her that you are concerned about it happening again, ESPECIALLY if you have a history of depression or anxiety. Hope that helps and that you're feeling better.
As for me, had my 4th Tx on Tues., and it went fine, although, like so many others have said, I'm sure starting to understand the whole cumulative effect thing! And here's a question: has anyone lost nails or had fingernail pain? I haven't with the first 3 Tx's, but this time, I woke up Wed. morning feeling like my nails had been smashed with a hammer, and they're just getting worse. I'm afriad I'm going to lose them. I've used ice and tea tree oil (heard about that somewhere), but my onc nurse told me that the ice doesn't actually help and that if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Has anyone had this kind of pain? Any advice? Info?
Another thing, I saw my gyne on Friday for my regular pap test, and she was very concerned because my uterus was severely deviated to the left side. I've had gynecological problems before, and have had to have three biopsies (OUCH!), but not this. She said, could be a cyst, could be a tumor, could be a bowel thing, although, she did a rectal (my best day ever!), and didn't seem to think that was it. She didn't have time in that appt. to do an ultrasound, so scheduled me for this Fri to do one. Another thing to worry about.
Also, as I've mentioned before, I have a lump under my arm, on the non-affected side, and the other day, my physical therapist discovered two more lumps on my arm on the affected side, and said they need to be checked out. So I'm seeing my onc on Tues. for that.
One more thing, has anyone else been diagnosed with lymphedema. I have, and it sucks! My left arm is about a third bigger than my right. I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring since my first surgery at the beginning of June, and it just seems to be getting worse. I wear a compression sleeve already, but my PT has ordered a new one that will go all the way down my hand, and also this nighttime garment that looks like a giant oven mitt that goes from fingers to shoulder. Fun days!
Sorry to dump so much, but I'm having a hard time. And on top of that, both of my parents are having pretty serious health issues, and I'm in Chicago, and they are in Texas. I wish I could be there, but I just can't.
On the brighter side, the Chicago Marathon is this weekend. Early this year I had planned and begun to train for it, but then got sick and realized this wasn't going to be my year. So instead I'm going to join a group of volunteers with Network of Strength at one of the aid stations handing out drinks and food to the runners, and helping whomever might need it. I figured it would be a good way for me to feel useful and still feel connecting to my running life and to this marathon, which is a particular love of mine. Wish me luck that I am feeling up for it. It's a long day, and I'll be on Day 6 which is typically a se-heavy day for me. I have to be there before 6:00 am, and they ask that you stay til at least 12:00 to help with clean-up, although I'm sure they would understand if I needed to leave early. Also it will be cold and probably kind of windy and moist. I will bundle up, and if I can manage it, I know it will be a blast. If I can't I will be totally bummed, so please do wish me luck! Thanks.
Whitney
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Wherria, sorry you are having a rough time of it. I do hope you have a good time at the marathon.
I have been unable to sleep at all last night. I don't know if it is the steroids still weasring off, seems unlikely at this point. I took them Monday morning. Then treatment was delayed a week due to this cough and cold I have. I took sudafed last night, 1 1/2 t of codeine cough syrup and then got a migraine and took ergomar and two excedrin along with a couple bottled ice teas. So no sleep at all and now it is 7 AM here. Still couging. No temp.
My cough is one of the hoo hoo coughs. The doc said it wasnt in my lungs on Monday and it still feels bhronchial to me. It is just hanging on SOO long, two weeks today since first symptom. If this keeps up I will be delayed another week. I feel like I am just whining at this point since I am not terribly ill, so sorry about this. I think I just really want to be well again and don't know if I ever will be again in my life. Ifeel sort of scared.
Hugs to you all
GInger
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I'm so sorry to hear that so many of you ladies are feeling sick. I hope everyone feels better soon!
ckptry If you have a crock pot a great website is http://crockpot365.blogspot.com. She has a huge archive of crock pot recipes. They are all pretty simple and I love how just a little bit of effort in the morning turns into an easy dinner!
Wherria I'm sending good thoughts your way for your ultrasound on Friday and your onc visit on Tuesday. Let us konw how they turn out, hopefully you are just fine! And I hope you are feeling well enough on Saturday to help out at the marathon, that sounds like such a great way to be involved!
I have AC #3 tomorrow so today I'm trying to take care of things like laundry, cleaning up, and grocery shopping since I know I won't feel up to it for the next few days. Fortunately/unfortunately I don't take steroids the day before treatment so I don't have any extra energy for my chores!
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Whitney - that's great about the marathon! I admire you so much with all you're going through that you're doing this. I seriously miss my "running life" too, but I don't seem to have the oxygen to do it anymore. (This was before my cold). I would walk to the top of the hill that I used to easily run up and down numerous times and be totally winded and dizzy. I asked my oncologist if this was "okay" and normal and she said "absolutely ! We just hit you with several rounds of chemo!) She assured me that it "would" come back, so I hope that's a help to you also, knowing that. It is probably due to low red blood cell counts which carry oxygen. Mine have been on the low end (not very low but a little low) and the nurses keep assuring me that's normal - that they are killed by the chemo and regenerate. We'll run again!!
Yes, I'll be in touch with my onc's office, but I'm much better. My lungs seem totally clear. I still have a little swelling in my nasal passages, but I think FINALLY just sleeping last night really helped me immeasurably! The sun is out today - airing out the house and have a big pot of chicken soup on for the rest of the gang here!
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Wherria - I just wanted to give you a shout out to say that I'll be thinking of you this week and sending you good vibes for your u/s and onc appt. And, I HOPE you get to do the marathon, it sounds like fun, especially since it is something you are so into!
Kel - I'm not really a runner, but I do a lot of walking in the SF Bay area, which is filled with hills, and I have found the same thing. Hills that I used to be able to breeze up are now like torture - I move so slowly and I can feel how much my muscles are working and I am out of breath. My onc said the same thing - slightly low red blood cell counts, muscles regenerating. So frustrating.
Re colds - I had mine for nearly 3 weeks, and the last part had a lot of coughing at the end. Onc listened to my lungs and said it wasn't in my lungs. Hopefully you all have what I had and it will pass. I think that the chemo just makes us weaker than normal, so any little thing like a cold can just knock us on our asses. I hope everyone is feeling better.
Well, I'm off to TCH #4. For some reason I am really DREADING it this time. I wonder if that is part of the cumulative process too. I have had a really great attitude about it up to this point, but I'm just tired of feeling badly, and I am really tired of having to do the show while feeling sick. This past weekend was great, because I felt good. Now I have 7 more performances to do, and I will feel sick for most of them. Not happy about it. :-( But, once I make a commitment, I stick to it. So, unless I'm really feeling like I'm going to be sick, I will do it.
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I have noticed the hill problem too. When walking uphill I have to drag my thighs forward. Reassuring to hear its not just me!0
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Hi girls, thought I would type in and let you know my progress because as you know, it's all about me. Yesterday I had my #3 of #2 infusion and now am sorta back on schedule. Next "Big Dog" infusion will be in 2 weeks with last but not least on Nov. 10. My 2 chemo mates yesterday were male, plus my DH and I had the t.v. remote, I asked if they minded if I tuned to the baseball playoffs which started here at 10:30 A.M. I haven't been this popular with the boys since I was in high school. Loved it, I could do no wrong. Lizzy, I am rooting for the Yanks but secretly, most westcoasters hate them unless they are eastern transplants. The only time I root against them is if they play the Angels. Saw the Halladay no-hitter, history was made. Ok, no more sports. Very few side effects from the 3 chemo lites, but kinda makes you wonder if they are as effective, Doc says yes, so who am I to argue. I'm hearing and reading that at some point there will be a vaccine for all types of cancer that will erradicate it like polio and other viral diseases. MAKE IT QUICK AND SAFE.0
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Oh and by the way, I still cry at almost anything. What a drag.
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Good day CHEMOSABES and go YANKEES!!!
Calamtykel: Glad you got some sleep last night and are feeling better. I hope you continue on an upward slope there, woman! Oh, btw, thought of you last night: I am the last house on a dead end and there is a cut-through the woods to get to the adjacent street. As I am driving up to my house I notice a guy walking with a "miners light" on his head. I wondered what he was doing. I failed to leave the lights on in front of my house so by the time I was getting out of my car, he was down by the end of my driveway. It was so dark I was a little spooked but he quickly explained he lived on the adjacent street and was heading for the cut-through to go back home as he was searching for a CHICKEN that escaped the coop! I told him, of course, I would keep an eye out but I thought of you nonetheless! I never did see that chicken last night. It seems awfully macabre to mention this now but I sure hope your chicken soup comes out good!
Wherria: I am glad the 4th tx is over. Did you find out anymore about getting an additional 2? I am surely to early in the process for nail issues but they did tell me the potential is there. They said they can turn black, split and fall off. Mine are still growing for reasons unknown. They did tell me if the nails are going to come out, sadly there is no way to avoid or remedy the situation. My nails never grew and were always weak until chemo. That has been weird.
If you have had gynecological issues before, perhaps this is a cyst. The ultrasound should clear that up. Sad about the rectal but we all have to eventually! How long have the lumps been under your arms? Has anyone suggested they might be connected to lymph edema? I have not been diagnosed with lymphedema. Perhaps you might be able to work the new "oven mitt" into a Halloween costume!
You are going through a lot yourself and with your parents being so far away and you, while needing to take care of yourself, want to, of course, be with them is tough. I am sorry you seem to be being bombarded with challenges these days.
The Chicago Marathon! That is great news. Just being there working should keep your spirits high and keep you involved. I will be hoping the SE don't keep you in. I wish you much luck and {{{big hugs}} that you are able to go and make it through. Even if you can't make the whole day just go and do whatever you can, for as long as you can. I am sure any assistance would be appreciated. I hope it all goes well and you have a good weekend.
Ginger: I hope you get to feeling better as well. The sleeplessness is an albatross. Nothing worse. When I get on these steroids it seems like I sleep for 2 hours and am up for 2 to 3 and that is the way it goes.
JSW: off to chemo land today for some more AC! I hope you are doing well as the week progresses and as we all distance ourselves from the last one and get closer to the end.
Lisasinglem and to all the others on breathing issues: I HATE IT! Yesterday even walking around the hospital I noticed I was getting a little winded. I notice it other times as well upon exertion that normally causes no challenge and now I feel winded. It really makes you feel like you are slipping away I don't love it. Is this your last TCH? I hope all goes well.
Onemonga: Halladay...unbelievable! I could not help but think the pitcher really went out of his way to clinch it for him in that last throw to 1st! Amazing! Go Yanks! I am so happy. That was a nail biter...I had to channel flip like I was watching a horror movie! Bring on that vaccine, man! A friend was asking me the other day why I did not OPT for the chemo pill!!!!!!! Do I really have to explain it was not an ONCOLOGICAL MENU OPTION for me?!?!?! No crying here but, like my onc said yesterday, chemo does some funky things to the body!
Wigs: when I found out I had cancer 7 months ago I stopped highlighting and because my hair is long and I was just going through the surgeries and millions of appointments, I spent most of the summer in a baseball cap, pretty plain, my hair back and enjoying the wind while I drove to my million appointments without having to spit my hair out of my mouth! Now the wig is here and I wear it but others like it too! I don't like that part of it. These ladies said to me at the hospital, on the elevator, how nice my hair was and I explained I am a total fraud, that it used to look like this until bc blah blah and they were stunned. It was an expensive wig so it should look good but at the same time I do feel like such a fraud! In any case, there I am getting breathless, walking the roughly ½ to ¾ mile hike back to my car and talking to them. I was too embarrassed to tell them I was getting winded so I just kept trying to keep up the chatting! Not my finest few minutes, girls!
Good day to you all and I sure hope we all are triumphant today in our ability to effectively manage this madness we are in!
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jsw19
thanks for the link, it looks good!
Carolyn
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Hi all, just catching up on all the posts after a few days being absent. Absent why?? BIG cold. Tonnes of coughing, runny nose, sore throat. Ick. After reading about everyone on this board with it right now I'm inclined to wonder why. Is it a) some weird virus that's running amok all over North America (totally possible, b/c all my friends/neighbours seem to have it too) or
is it that somewhere around your 2-4 tx you just start to fall apart? Because that's what it's felt like for me this week. I have had wild mood swings, crying jags, total fatigue and just plain fed up with cancer. My positive "this is just a small road bump" attitude is slowing degrading. I feel really put out by cancer right now. I have my final tx tomorrow, hope it doesn't get cancelled, but my onco told me this week that even after radiation I can expect to feel fatigued, forgetful and emotional for an additional 6 months!!!!!! That's what did me in. She also told me that all my SE crazy forgetfulness, fatigue, mood swings, crying, etc are b/c of taxotere. Normal. I hate taxotere. What I really need to do is just get out of this funk. Exercise more. Stop eating b/c there's nothing else to do. I guess I just miss my old working life. I feel like I'm just now going through the grief process associated with cancer. Has anyone else experienced this?
Wherria- I"m sorry to hear you're feeling crappy. But you're not alone. I'm there with you. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Lizzy- as I was reading through the old posts and you were writing about the bump under your arm I got all panicked for you! I had to scroll through ahead to find out if you got in with onco. So glad you did and so glad you're okay. Yay for scar tissue.
On bald heads- LOVE all the new avatars, even with no hair we're an awesome looking group!
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Sweeny: You have described the emotions I have been feeling to a tee. I know that the October Breast Cancer Awareness promotion is of great benefit for the cause, but I am so over the pink everything and giant boobed cheerleaders marching with surivors of breast cancer on a football field with the ribbon logo. I want normal and the reality is my old normal will never be the same. After chemo there's rads then hormone therapy and all side effects associated with it all. I know, to be alive is the reason we do this and I am extremely grateful that this kind of medical care is available to us. Having said that though, it's still monumentally hard to get through it all and not feel dragged down. If you forget about it for just a minute, you walk by and see yourself in a reflection and that big bald head slapping you back to the real world as it is now. OK I'm done.
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jsw: That's a GREAT idea! I know I seem to worsen as the day goes on, with mornings being better. So to make dinner in the morning is a good idea.
Sweeney: YES it is a big virus. The doctor told me it's a very bad cold virus but not the flu. I'm serious when I say that everyone I know is talking about it - and NOBODY has immunity to it. I have four children. I seriously cannot remember a time when every one of them AND my husband and I were all sick with something. Even when we had the flu - I don't think we "all" got it. When I called the naturopath today for an appointment for my husband, the receptionist said the same thing. The other receptionist told me the other day it's spreading like wildfire through her husband's company. I'm in NJ and with all the air travel, it's not a stretch to say that it's probably the same virus!
I haven't gotten a cold in almost a year and even before that - other people would get taken down and I'd be sick for a day or two and bounce right back - I really foolishly thought I was immune to bad colds even on chemo since I've been in crowds, around kids, etc and have been very healthy. But this virus is nasty--viruses have the ability to change each season and this one is particularly strong.
Meanwhile, I'm enjoying my last few days of freedom before Taxol number one on Monday. I'm totally terrified.......
Today I made a big pot of chicken stock and soup, homemade sprouted grain bread (the kids loved sprouting the wheat the last couple of days!) and applesauce is on the stove......it's nice to have people cook for you but it's also nice when you can cook yourself!
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chemo brain- i also left my keys at the grocery store customer service counter, i sat there at the check out like an idiot DIGGING through this tiny purse and of course couldnt find it... i go back to CS and askif anyone turned in keys, the gal said oh you left them here LOL (i was faxing stuff lol)
Dr appointment- Really enjoyed my dr appointment, got scans done today, chemo scheduled for next thursday. My dr is so awesome he takes time to explain everything to me in detail, of course he wanted to know what was going on with my crazy sis in law LOL (i am still embarassed bout that lol)
JSW19- i find that if i make slightly larger meals through the week and freeze the extra portion it really helps out- i cant stand the smell of cooking foods or want to get up and cook. Thaw and re heat! Simple!
onemonga- i felt liek that too with my 2nd tx, SE werent as butt kicking (or maybe i knew what to expect) and i questioned their effectiveness
Lizzy- yeah i hear ya on the wig, if i paid good money for something and it looked fake i'd demand a refund!
All- who has wigs and who doesnt?
wherria- Oh dont you just love gynos! (NOT) they are too friendly with our places! I am hoping everything checks out. Awesome you stil lfound a way to be involved!
Lisa and my fellow coughers!- My dr also listend to my lungs and wasnt concerned, like calamity he said it will take me a little longer to over come it. Mucenix is okay if it gets phlemy! As soon as we're over our coughs let us know
that way we ight be able to predict an end to our own!Aw man Sweeny! i think we're sharing our cold via this thread! LOL i may have to wear my face mak next time i log in online!
YUP I AGREE BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!!!Calamity- We all got it here too! Husband and daughter are over it, my son and I are coughing so much it seems we are coughing out tunes! Sprout grain bread? Send me the recipie i'd love to try it!
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The Yankees win again
:)Ok...so baseball does definitely have my attention these days but I must say...
WELCOME BACK CANUCKS!!!! Beavertail and Buttertart are back!!!! Yeah! Nice to hear from you two again.
Breathing: I am not a runner but I do like power walking. In any case, my slight incline onthe driveway tonight after rolling the garbage cans out winded me. I also got winded in Lowe's. This I do not like. It feels so incapacitating. In my case I think it is the steroids. I noticed the last time I got better after the steroids ended. Unless it is just another SE that will get worse with each tx...ugh!
Speaking of txs...has anyone received statements from the insurance compay regarding the COST of chemo?! I cannot believe what the statement said today about the cost of this. It is incredible.
Texas: that freeze and re-heat is all I do! I can't stand the smell of cooking or the linger odors in the kitchen so when I am feeling good I cook so I have stuff ready. I am so glad someone else is forgetting their keys! I am also very glad things went well with your doc appointments today and that your onc takes time with you and is concerned. That is really wonderful. It is so nice to hear that.
No baseball tomorrow night so a few friends suggested the movies....no way!!!! I am worried about not getting sick, running to the bathroom, people SICK in the theater spreading germs etc... It is amazing how much thinking has to go in to the most simple of choices just a few months ago.
WBC: they were high so I am on Cipro again. I thought high would be good but I guess, even with Neulasta, it still means the body could be fighting an infection. Here's to hoping not!
Good night chemosabes
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Ahhh, as baseball winds down. Hockey starts up! Woooo Hoooooo! Not a big fan of the Leafs but they just won their home opener. And hockey makes me happy. So screw off cancer. I'm staying up for the Calgary v. Edmonton game too.
Goodnight all.
Signed,
Beavertail.
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Chemo brain sorry....I have a wig. It cost $700. I hate it. I look like an ass-hat in it. Everyone raves about how real it looks. I think it looks terrible. Or maybe they're all ridiculously good liars.
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Sweeney: I like the wig but I don't like the attention! I hate that people remark about it and I immediately say it is fake! These are people that *don't* know me....strangers on the street and these joker guys. I pretty much spent that last 7 months with no highlighting and baseball caps. I sort of took a nice, long vaca from unwanted aggravation! Good times, indeed, sister! I was again questioned at the parking garage at chemo about what I was doing there and I heard the outside guard talking to the inside guard as I arrived referring to me as "the blonde" and then I was interrogated. Well, I set them straight yesterday and reminded them just because people have cancer they can be 40 and look 30, they can have hair, they can have a nice wig and they don't have to appear half dead and there is a children's hospital here replete with super-youthful cancer patients so stop being so damn judgemental. He just stared after me as I got on the elevator. Jerks. I guess I will paint dark circles under my eyes and wear a pink scarf and perhaps I will look "oncologic" enough not to be questioned. It is so rude and this is like the 3rd time there. I think my next step is a shirt that says "I know I don't look it but I have cancer and am receiving chemo" No, I won't let my roids drive the bus!
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I have a wig, it was free. I haven't worn it but then again I don't go anywhere. Except the hospital and our daughters house.I do wear knit hats at night, hubby still has not seen my bald head.
My cough is hurting my upper chest now. I am sick of feeling sick. I am using Mucinex and that keeps me from flat out chocking. I didn't go anywhere and I still got this cold.
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Onemonga- thanks. Nice (I guess??) to hear that someone else is going through the same things. I think it's not all that uncommmon, but cancer has just really whipped me these past few weeks. I hope you're taking care of yourself, I'm trying to. I'm telling people that I feel like crap. That's a first b/c before I was all, "ME? I'm FINE. Cancer is really just like a small flu bug. Where's my cape?? I am woman hear me roar. Thank you so much for this pan of manicotti but take it back b/c I AM FINE." Now I'm telling them the truth, "My left eyebrow is falling off my face. I cried for twenty minutes standing in front of the microwave. I can't remember your name or, for that matter, mine. No DO NOT come over. I do not want to hear your long winded story about your grandmother's cancer some 15 years back. Also you're talking too loud and there's a strange smell coming from your sweater. GO AWAY. Do not come back. I'm tired of smiling and nodding at you."
Ahhh. That felt good just to write that.:)
ALL- sorry about three posts in a row. This is a combination of chemo-brain and also wanting to hit the 100 Posts mark. Yessss. High five.
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