You know youre a cancer patient when....
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I just discovered this thread. These comments are really hilarious. You lovely ladies made my day. (which is saying a lot, cuz I've got the tamoxifen insomnia/b*tchiness blues.)
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peggy_j: Keep it in your favorite threads and save it for those days. I haven't gotten through all of them yet, but it is one of my therapies! : )
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M2 twins 34----He was annoyed-------cluck'em--------check out who else is in the practice and switch. Been where you are and waited too many months to switch. Happier ever since.
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...when your at a baby shower and your bald head is rubbed more than the tummy of the momtobe.
...when you've forgotten the smell of shaving cream.
...can't pass the Pepto Bismol in the grocery without the sight of that color pink making your physically sick.
...when you feel a little like God when you find yourself deciding, "Do I want my nipples to stick out or not?"
...when you find yourself saying something like "she's probably has really bad split ends", about an innocent women coming out of the shampoo aisle,just because secretly inside your mad at her.
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Survivor11, too funny!
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Thanks for the advice, Sas. He's really very knowledgeable and usually great about things, just doesn't always hold back when he's frustrated with something, but that's really his only flaw... So I couldn't bring myself to leave him, but thanks for caring. I have to admit I was a little dismayed by his comment--it's not my fault my chart is so full--but I just remember thinking "maybe they should get bigger chart holders!"...
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When your entire family is looking for your hair.
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YKYACPW you USED to waste time looking for your misplaced car keys; now, it's your misplaced hair... Orlandpark65, I SO hear you!
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...when you waste time looking for your misplaced foob.
Leah
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When you lose count of how many doctors you have. When the endocrinologist tells you to say hi to your oncologist! LOL!
When you think you're out of the woods with treatment and surgeries and then you get sucked back in with another surgery!
When your file at the obgyn's office is at least 3-4 inches thick and you didn't have children! And you want to put a big sticky note on it saying "Patient does not have boobs - start asking her about having mammograms!!!" Next, I will make sticky's for my doctors saying "Don't ask her about her last period. Those parts were also removed!"
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When you find yourself spacing out sometimes and call those "CANCER MOMENTS" LOL!!!
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... when the number of hands that have touched your breasts in the weeks after diagnosis surpasses the number of guys you let get that far when dating
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when men still look at your chest first and then look up and know they've been caught so they hold eye contact instead of looking back down.
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Okay so these aren't our normal YKYHC jokes, but a friend e-mailed these to me and I thought they were great, Want to share.
First, welcome to Happy IVGLDSW day (or International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's day)-it so applies here.
*Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, but rather to skip in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming," Woooo Hoooo what a ride!"
*Inside every older woman is a younger woman wondering what the hell happened.*inside me lives a skinny girl trying to get out,,,but I can ususally shut her up with cookies.*I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.*If you can't be a good example-then your just going to have to be a horrible warning.*I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride.*Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.*When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over.Hope these brought a smile to your face, they did mine.0 -
survivor11--those are great! I've seen them before but they are SO worth seeing again, and again--especially the first one!
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Survivor --------WHOOO HOOO, Haven't seen any of these . Thanks LOL sas
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This is from page 95: YKYACPW when you think that tearing your wig off at a road raging driver might work better than flipping them off.I had a group of guys drive by me as I was walking out of a McDonald's. I was walking slowly because of the enormous pain that I get from Taxol. The last two days I could barely walk. Today I was pulling it off - with a lot of pain. So, this car drives by me and a guy leans out the window and yells, "Hey Grandma!" When I realized that they were talking to me because I was the only person there, I drove around by the drive-thru where they were getting their order and waited until they all looked over at me. I took off my wig and gave them the finger. They looked like they were all high school aged and very shocked. The drive thru girl looked like she was going to drop her change and her jaw. They may never bully anyone out their windows again!
It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be having no one to laugh with me. I called my husband and he thought it was hilarious, partly because it is so unlike me.Age 40. Tumor is over 8 cm. Started neoadjuvant therapy on July 1st with 4 AC dd / then 4 Taxol, then will be bilateral mastectomy, then radiation, then reconstruction.
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J-bug thats hilarious. Good for you, a little humor and revenge all in one-a women after my own heart.
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J-Bug YOU ROCK.
I work retail and I remember one time I had a bitchy lady at the cash and I though she was so rude complaining how slow the cashes were...Now i wish i had ripped my wig off and told her to F%^k OFF.
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When you get up in the morning a couple of days after chemo, still have the steroids going, and you are all dressed and ready for work. You grab the cars keys and your purse to walk out of the bedroom and walk straight into the wall. BTW, my thought at that point was, I guess I'm not going to work today after all!
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...when you measure the passage of time by your next treatment, your next surgery, your next docters appt.
...when your sure your car could find it's own way to your PS, your MO, your cancer center.
...when you start to blame all your crappy, bi_chy moods on hot flashes. I'm on Tamoxifen you know.
...when hair growth on your legs is cause for celebration.
...when you realize that your cats are starting to get tired of your company, go back to work already.
...when you realize you may have become the "crazy cat lady" because your starting to think you know exactly what your cats are thinking, I said get back to work already.
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And when both you and you dear husband have cancer togethter, and he dies, and you don't
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Oh man SAS, that's terrible. So sorry to hear it.
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Sas. I'm sorry. This cancer thing SUCKS. Did he pass away recently?
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I am so sorry, Shiela, is there anything I can do? I am glad you've been here. I don't know what I would have done without you. Please let me know if there is any way I can help from so far away.
If you want to put your mind on something else, I have a medical question I can PM you. I don't think the docs know. My DH has an idea, wondering if you have an opinion on it.
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YKYACPW you wake up with a hot flash, go potty, lay back down in bed, cover up because you're now chilly, then you feel the ceiling fan on your face, ahh... And the duck-fuzz-mutton-chop-steroid-sideburns swaying in the gentle breeze...
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YKYACPW your DD tells you, somewhat half-heartedly, your hair is filling in, but your MUSTACHE is coming back quite nicely!
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when your 5 year old looks at your head and says "oh no, we can't paint your head anymore".
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when you are talking to a new friend that you have met because of your breast cancer experience, and both of you are comparing notes about the chemo infusion experience, and you realize you are getting a warm, nostalgic feeling, and actually think you miss those days!!!! What's up with that????? (we both laughted like hell at ourselves!!!).
Elizabeth
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Elizabeth: I've heard men say the same thing about war. There's something about sharing a miserable, gut-wrenching, life-threatening experience with other people that seems to bond us in that nostalgic way.
Are you completely done with all of your treatment, surgery, etc? That could be part of the reason too - it's hard to feel like you did all that, and now Kablammo, it's just suddenly over. It feels like cancer kidnaps you, holds you at gunpoint for a hellacious couple of months (or years), then just dumps you out by the side of the road and says "thanks for the ride."
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