Great saying about depression
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Hello, I had FG on Wednesday the 22nd with Dr.Aronowitz in Los Angeles. Everything seem to be good at this point. He took 200cc of fat and stem cells from my love handles and tummy. I will see him in 2 weeks,because i am 2 hrs. away we pushed it out to 2 weeks. When i went back to him the next day he was so pleased,i am still real groggy but wanted to let you know about this. When im feeling stronger i will go more into detail about everything that was done,but one thing i would like to tell you is they found a very knotted up scar tissue under my arm where the 3 nodes were removed and it ran down my arm,some of you remember me always complaining about that pain and pulling and lack of stretch even with tons of pt. also in the knot were surgical clips,nice huh.....they sent the tissue out to pathology but sure its clean but since it was such a mess they wanted to be sure. When im better i am going to find a way to stop this insanaity and babaric way we are treated ! take care all.. Karin
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Karin- I posted on the other thread but wanted to post here, too. I admire you for all your hard work and research to find someone who would listen to you, take your issues seriously and have the skills to fix them. It has to be infuriating on one hand to know there was a genuine cause for all your discomfort and no one took it seriously. But you've also got to feel triumphant that you did not give up and knew you deserved more. I hope your healing goes well so you can go out and kick some PS ass for how you've been treated! (((hugs)))
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THANKS KATE, I AM NOT SURE IF TAKING THE SCAR TISSUE AND CLIPS OUT FROM MY ARMPIT WILL HELP WITH THE FOOB DISCOMFORT OR TIGHTNESS BUT I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE,BUT IT IS WARM NOW LIKE YOU SAID YOURS WERE. IF IN TIME IT HURTS LIKE BEFORE I GUESS I WILL JUST TAKE THE IMPLANT OUT COMPLETELYBUT SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT WOULD NOT MAKE A DIFFRENCE, I WONDER WHY YOU HAVE PAIN YOU DID NOT HAVE RADIATED TISSUE WHY WOULDN'T YOUR FOOBS JUST ACCEPT THE FAT AND CHILL? ITS ALL SO MYSTERIOUS....
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Karin, Wow that is very scary. I'd say it certainly shouldn't hurt to have all that removed - what a mess. That doctor was probably horrified. I'm so sorry! Truly shouldn't happen.
I agree it is all very mysterious indeed.
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I am totally and completely depressed right now. Was in a car accident on Friday - got rear ended and pushed into the pick up truck ahead of me. Neither of their vehicals were damaged. Mine got squashed on both ends but looks like Not enough to total it. However the frame is damaged both on the drivers side and the rear passenger's side - the guy's insurance, well what we think he has, would only pay out if there are three areas. The claims adjuster has not looked at it yet so this is all peliminary. But I bought the car two years ago in the hopes of having a really nice safe car till my kids are grown.... I just can't imagine feeling safe in that car ever again and apparently since the car wasn't brand new they don't have to put in new parts! Really?
Also trying to decide whether to go get check out myself. My lower back hurts and my left front hip but it isn't too bad so perhaps it is just soreness - I have no clue how all this works as I have never had to deal with this sort of thing. Already found out I've been ripped off by the tow truck and the rental car which apparently my insurance pays for but only up to 1500. Well as of Monday I'm already at 500.00 so that isn't going to go far at all. Also ripped off on insurance for the rental which I have to pay out as well. I just felt so alone. I tried calling a couple of people and just got voice mails and my insurance had to call me back so I had no one to talk to or to ask questions of and was so stunned and shaky. When I got the the rental place she was asking me about my insurance numbers for the car but it had just happed so I didn't know what she was talking about so I remember going over and sat on the floor in the corner. She later felt sorry for me I guess and came and helped me. Times like this I wish I was still married or had someone who cared about me. It is more hitting me now that on Friday and just have no idea what to do about all this.
I wonder if BC makes one feel more vunerable or if I would have felt like this before as well. But then I always remember people saying trama and stress can bring about disease and that just terrifies me.... At the same time sometimes I just think if I gave up then it would all just be so much easier. I'm certainly Not going to give up as I have three wonderful beautiful children but sometimes it all just seems too hard, you know. Then I think about MBJ and how courageous she is and I feel like such an ungrateful whiner... Sorry guys just in a bad place today. Thanks for letting me vent!
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Stanzie, Vent when ever you need to its better for you than holding it in. Try to breath deep and exhale and if you can i know you have 3 kids ,but try to lay still and just let your body relax from toes to head think of each area and actually feel it imagine what it looks like inside out and relax it. I wish i could be there to help you,but know i am in spirit im your cheerleader.....
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Stanzie - wish I were there to help you out. Yes, you should get checked out by your doctor - save the bill for the other guy's insurance - he should be paying for your deductable too plus the extra charges - save all your bills. You need to read the small print on your policy - the number of spots damaged shouldn't make a difference - the other guy was at fault & should be responsible for all your costs for your car & for yourself medically. Don't sign any waviers from the other guys insurance - sometimes they are printed on the check they may send you - don't cash it till you're sure that the amount is going to cover all past & possible future charges. Let me know how it's going - I care.
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Karin I absolutely can NOT believe there was a clip in knotted up tissue!! Thats outrageous!! i would be calling that surgeons office pronto! Makes you wonder what else they forgot. I thought the whole purpose of the clip was to mark the spot the surgeon was to remove...what did it fall back in?? move?? that's crazy but I would want answers. So sorry that happened to you...I feel very tight as well and my ps said that will most likely not go away. I just hope I get more used to how it feels. If it wasnt so damn tight...I would some days NOT think about BC.
Stanzie so sorry about your accident. thats terrible! I have to say I was rear ended before by a car that was rear ended and the poor little honda was totally under my SUV. so squished so I can only imagine how you felt..very scary. Thank goodness you were not more seriously injured. I would most definitely get it checked out cause back stuff can creep up years later. You want it all timely documented. Sorry you are feeling alone. I completely understand. I feel like I've been on my own since I was a teenager (very neglectful mother..on my own since 19) I have never been married and havent so much as kissed a boy in 3 years. I've been feeling super blue and so alone these past few weeks. Some days I feel like the only people that really care about me are on these threads. I just had to take an ativan for yet another migraine and now I feel like I am getting more anxiety about my headaches. UGH I just want to feel normal and healthy and happy again. Like you I think of MBJ and what she must be going through and feel bad that I am being all woe is me when she certainly has more to deal with than I do. I think though we are allowed to feel whatever we want ....just as long as it doesnt last too long.
I hope this passes for you and for me.
Ok just saw Sascha Baron Cohen be a complete jacka$$ on the Red Carpet. Who thinks he is funny??
Happy Oscar Night!
Diane
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Stanzie I am so sorry about all that you are having to deal with alone. The advice has been good. We were in a car accident like yours and you do have to save everything receipt wise. And don't sign off on anything medical for sure until you are checked out and totally totally cleared. Sometimes the medical stuff doesn't show up right away. It helps so much just to be able to write or say outloud how nasty this all is. It helps I think to validate how we are feeling. That is why we are here for each other. And that is why I go to the support group so I can be with women who understand and know how I feel today may not be at all like I feel about BC tomorrow. But if today really is difficult and you are having a string of that to be able to share with those who truly gets it lightens the burden I think sometimes.
Diane, I am sorry for the headaches. When do you go back to the doctor to check back on this? It is an isolating disease because people don't understand the compexity of it. The physical may heal but the emotional takes a long time to work through. And because we see it every day the scars and changes it is pretty hard to forget about. I hope you can get some relief. And no I didn't think the Oscar carpet thing was funny at all!!
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Stanzie- So sorry about the accident. I know how overwhelming it can be to deal with stuff like that. I really think all of us are dealing with some PTSD so these challenges become even harder to deal with- DH, SO or not. I find it gets harder and harder as each challenge is piled onto the next and you've had your share lately.
I would definitely get checked out medically. I was rear ended 20+ years ago and still have ongoing issues with my neck. Like others have said, don't sign off on anything until you're sure what it all means. Your own insurance company should be helping you with all of this because whatever the other driver's insurance isn't covering yours should pick up the slack (depending on your policy and coverage, of course). So it's in their best interest to help you get the most you can from his insurance. Sorry, I know this is one big pain in the a$$ having to deal with all this- especially when it's not your fault!
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stanzie: mur was rear ended, just a few months ago.. go have a dr ck you out.. he waited, till their ins didn't do what they were suppossed to, also. we got a lawyer, magically, he's in PT now, like he's suppossed to be, and they DID total the care. bc the frame was bent!!!the lawyer said they have to with a little encouragement from him, cause once the frames bent, it;ll never be right.. your health is the biggest issue, but a new car is in order, i think.. prYING for good results for both...3jays0
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Thanks so much! All of you, I cannot begin to tell you how much your support and care means to me. I have a Dr apt on Wed. My lower back is hurting more and more actually - worse if I'm sitting and I do have pain in my neck and shoulder on the right side.
All the insurance stuff is just so confusing... hate all this. I agree with you 3 jays that because the frame is bent I can't imagine feeling safe and comfortable in the car again.
I do have a friend whose husband is a personal injury lawyer and have asked him a couple of questions but get the feeling he doesn't want to get too involved but it also might be he doesn't want to push me to ask him for help. So.... waiting for more information at this point.
I do know I'm in pain but at the same time I find myself minimizing it or justifying it (as in of course I'm in pain I was in a car wreck) I think women do that a lot not to be a bother to anyone so I'm trying to stand up for myself but as one of my friends said try not to be a polite southern wimp about it all.....
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Stanzie if you have never tried Acupuncture...it's amazing for back pain. One time I (or should I say my puppy) threw my back out and I couldnt even sit without pain. My friend is an acupuncturist and she graciously came to my house for a treatment. She had to help me on the table but after 90 minutes I was about 80% better...the next day all the pain was gone. It was truly amazing. I highly recommend it.
Feel better...hang in there!!
Diane
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Kate33 - not sure if you have tried going of Wellbutrin yet or not. I am on it also and was told not to go cold turkey -- take one every other day is what I was told. Can then go down to one every other 3 days.
I read somewhere also that Tamox and Wellbutrin do not go well together. I have not started my Tamox yet so will as my MO when I see him on March 14.
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Joanne- Funny what you said about the Wellbutrin because my doctor told me the opposite- that it was one of the few you could go off cold turkey. (Wish these doctors would agree on something!) I did stop it and didn't seem to have too much trouble. I've been off it for about 2 weeks now.
I am now completely medication free and am considering seeing a NMD. I've given MD's and pharma too many years of my life without success so I figure I have nothing to lose. If I feel I'm becoming too depressed, though, I will go back on the anti-d's.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I had a great day yesterday with my Mom and 2 sisters. We went to see John Edwards (the famous medium not the politician- lol!) and it was really interesting. Then we went out for dinner and shopping. I sometimes think girl time and talk therapy (and retail therapy) works better than anti-d's anytime!
DiDel- Hope you're feeling better! Are the headaches gone now?
Stanzie- Hope you got the insurance stuff worked out and you're feeling better, too. Did you get your new car, yet?
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Withdrawal from Wellbutrin depends on how long you've been on it and at what dose. It's a pretty easy drug to wean off of. I'm considering going back on my cocktail of Zoloft and Wellbutrin. Zoloft takes away my anger "edge" and Wellbutrin was just a nice, steady experience. I'm currently on Seroquel (VERY heavy shit!!) and have reduced from 300 mgs down to 100mgs on my own. And Cymbalta for the Fibro which is supposed to help mood as well. I don't think it's doing me any good and I'm worried about some weight gain like I had on Neurontin.
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Hey, Barbe, I didn't know you were on the Cymbalta now. Good for moods, so-so for fibro, IMO. Took away a lot, but not all, of my fibro pain. It did make me lethargic and more couch time put a few pounds on.0
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I don't even know if I posted here before. I like the quote at the top. I've been known to say,
"I'm not depressed, I'm just sad all the time."
I'm joking, but if you ever quote me, remember to give me credit.
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Kate I am so jealous you got to see John Edwards. I am amazed everytime I see him do a session on TV of course...would love to see him live. I'd love to be the one he is talking to. Did he speak to your group?? I feel better but mainly cause I am taking 600mg Ibuprofin every 8 hrs.
To catch some of you up I spent all day Wednesday in the ER with Kidney stones!! yes plural. I have since passed one (looked like a shard of glass) and I have two more one very small and 1 twice the size of what I passed but still considered "passable". I have never never never been in pain like that and I hope the others pass without incident. The only good news out of all of this is that 1. I got a ct scan and I now know my lungs liver and ovaries are clear. 2. the pain I've had in the past where my GYN tells me I have to go to the bathroom now has a diagnosis.
I mustve passed a hundred stones in the last ten years.
I am at the part of tax season where I am officially buried for the next month and a half ...working 7 days (and nights) a week until the deadline. I may not be able to post but I am always reading.
MBJ if you are out there I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
Good night all...hope your week gets off to a good start!
Diane
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Oh, if only we could figure out the magic potion for all of us! There's so many combinations!
DiDel- Nope, no special readings from John but it was still very interesting. The saddest one was a young mom who had lost her 4 year old son last May. It was so heart breaking. I think he comforted her a lot. I think she needed it more than any of us.0 -
interesting conversations, ladies.. i fell in the hole a week or so, cked, and was ready to do desiporamine, which is the only one im not allergic to: can't take it on synthyroid, which im trying 100mgs a week on... so, dr doesn't even want me to try naturals with synthyroid.. its been a "sad" time for me.. if i can work my way up to excersice, it helps.. so thats' what im gonna try next ggggrrrrrrrr.....3jays0
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Diane }}}}}}}}}}}}}} and {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ 3jays }}}}}}}}}}}}}} gentle hugs to you both!!!
Diane, I had to have a huge stone taken out surgically. During the surgey, my kidney got pissed off and started dying!! The week I spent in the hospital afterwards is a blur of pain meds every 2 hours and me crying in agony!! I now have a kidney perfusion which again, means my kidney is dying off. Glad you passed yours okay and good luck with any more!!
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barbe1958, Hope they can stop further injury to your kidney. Keep us posted.
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For me it's- I'm not depressed. I just have a joy deficiency. It seems to have gotten worse since the BC. I don't spend days in bed feeling miserable. And when the opportunity to have some fun comes along I feel I rise to the occasion. But sometimes it's just the mundane that wears me down or the challenges that beat me up. Guess I wish I was more even keeled and I'm not sure they make a pill for that! My goal is to try and make more human connections and to try to take better care of myself physically. The last one is the tough one for me.
I'm very excited, though. Dancetrancer found a physical therapist here in AZ that I think can help with some of the physical stuff. She has something called Breast Cancer Rehab and is trained to work with just BC patients who are dealing with issues after MX/recon and she is also a licensed LE therapist. I have an appointment with her in 2 weeks. I'm very hopeful that she can help me to move on from all this- physically anyway.
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Kate, just this week my therapist and I decided that joy was missing from my life too! I have hope, thank God, but the only joy I get is in little bits when I see my grandchildren (at the same time I see my own kids, so it's like double dipping). The hope part, is just in hoping I see them more often!! So much is tied into my grandchildren it's scary.
Zoloft gives me an even keel.
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am keeping you both in mind.. i hope the therapist can help you, Kate!!
i suffer from that joy deficency too, but here we know it as PTSD hahaha and it takes along time to work thru....3jays
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I started thinking about the things that bring me joy and BCO was on the list. I think it is the connections that I feel are missing from my "real" life and the feeling of being able to help others. I feel excited on the days when I fire up the computer and see a bunch of my threads have new postings and a little down when there aren't any. (Of course, that's when I troll the active threads- lol!) I know many in my life probably don't understand why I still post here but it does give me a certain joy so I'll continue. Now I need to work on the other things that bring me joy- my family, my pups, my garden. Kind of a short list but I'm working on it.
P.S. Just proof read before posting and I had typed "job" instead of "joy". Freudian slip that I still need to find employment to add to the list? LOL!
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Kate, bco is a HUGE part of my life!! I always have to check how my "girls" are doing. I log on 2-3 times a day. Even when I had a private office at work I was logged on all day. I would truly feel lost without this connection. I have no "best friend" that I could talk like this to.
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Hi ladies...had a minute before I begin the night shift...its been a long couple of weeks and almost a month left till crazy hours slow down.
My puppy and kitty are neglected...at least Charlie gets play time at daycare...of course Sadie probably loves having the house all to herself.
Hope everyone is well and got to enjoy some beautiful weather like we had here in Baltimore today.
MBJ still thinking of you and missing your posts. Sending positive vibes your way for some relief from the pain and ability to rejoin us...we miss you!!!
Tomorrow is my onc appointment ...dont expect anything exciting just one more doc feeling me up for the week. LOL
Have a great evening/afternoon!!
Di
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Kate, I'd so miss your posts if you went away and found other things that bring you joy. I too would really miss knowing how everyone is and what is going on in their lives. I guess it feels so much safer than a chat room or something ( not that I've ever done that) but because we all share a very scary and life changing experience I think it is easier to quickly bond, support and care about each other.
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